#3338 Below Deck Down Under S04E13 Part Two: Ben Pecked

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1:26Ronnie Karam: Watch what happens.

1:58Ronnie Karam: Well, Daisy is clear, but she's too clear. So now we see Daisy from this season being like, fire up the second course because they're going to eat this really quick. I'm here to put the pressure on. It's me job.

2:12Ben Mandelker: A little bit of pressure is nice, but a lot of pressure is not nice. I feel like sometimes she's working against me. I'm like, no, she's trying to get your shit together. So anyway, he's working on his cake. and then the guests meanwhile do they go down the water slide and then they're having fun and Daisy goes back into the galley and she goes by the way if you want to go and speak to them now is probably a good time he's like I'm not gonna speak with them I'm busy I'm busy little playful pickle

2:44Ronnie Karam: whatever whatever my little playful pickle my little dip and dance diaphragm there Put one in the jar, it was worth it.

2:59Ben Mandelker: My naughty nipple. So Jenna goes in the galley and offers some candles for the cake or whatever. And I don't know, whatever. So then the stews are decorating the table, leopard themed. And Daisy tells Eddie that she wants him and Mike to do a dance for Joanna's birthdays. They're going to get their magic mic on. Or un-magical mic. God, please don't.

3:24Ronnie Karam: Use some magic and keep your clothes on. Just put some clothes on to Mike. Nobody needs Magic Mike starring Mike and Eddie.

3:32Ben Mandelker: Definitely not. Definitely not.

3:35Ronnie Karam: God, it's like the cast of King of the Hill stripping.

3:38Ben Mandelker: I also can't stand when the crew has to perform for the guests. Are we at Ozarks Club Med? We don't need to do this right now.

3:49Ronnie Karam: Yeah, and the stripping. I mean, look, I'm not one of those people who's like, if these were women, we would never treat them like that because men are not women. Like, you know, I get that. I don't think it's the same. But I do think it's like I don't I don't I just don't want to see my fucking waiter. I don't want my way. That's in my face. I just don't, especially if they're like or Eddie. Like, if you get me some who's that guy used to be on the show that was fucking hot. I think he turned out to be a douche later. But he was on a couple. He's like the old school guy from way back when. shelby or what's his name shelby the big tall blonde guy he had a sister on the boat oh addy i mean i'm not not eddie oh no um that guy was hot he had news out on the internet uh yeah

4:35Ben Mandelker: it was like wow his name was like not tory or cory kelly kelly kelly kelly kelly yeah oh yeah

4:42Ronnie Karam: if it's kelly okay strip but eddie and mike no no no your strippers okay don't give me some like some back row D-list strippers. Come here, Eddie.

4:55Ben Mandelker: Yeah, please. So now Daisy's at the bar with the guests. She's like, how are you guys doing? And this guy's like, I have a question for you for dinner. Is it Italian or it's not Italian? She's like, I don't know. Hey, Ben, could you come to the main salon and talk to the guests about dinner? He's like, okay, fine. He's like, hello, everyone. Hello, my angry abdomens. What's going on this evening?

5:23Ronnie Karam: What do we got tonight for dinner? He's like, well, there's a crispy duck spring roll. I was going to do some wahoo. And he goes, what is that? I'm like, excuse me. You're from the food metropolis of Phoenix, sir. Your wife has already told us, get it together. And he's like, it's a fish. You're not excited about that, are you? And he goes, no, we like pasta. well for christ's sake could you order could you say that well you just coming on here dissing what did wahoo do to you i know but like also i don't know like i mean i would like to see their

6:00Ben Mandelker: preference sheets i would like to see how accurately they express what they want for this evening because i feel like this is a last minute change so joanna goes oh we love it we love pasta and I married an Italian so you know I love it. Lemon and anchovy and garlic. That's one of Chanel and I's favorites. We just love pasta. Pasta! Like yes man we know what pasta is and we understand its value. Like you don't have to sell us on pasta.

6:26Ronnie Karam: Just because you married an Italian doesn't mean I have to feed you pasta. I mean I married my palm. It doesn't mean I want to eat fingernails every night.

6:35Ben Mandelker: Or do you?

6:36Ronnie Karam: I mean I should. I would definitely have a lot of a lot fewer weight complaints against myself if I just stuck to fingernails.

6:44Ben Mandelker: One thing we did not really adequately mention is that this request for pasta instead of fish comes literally 10 minutes before dinner. Like they're all sitting at the bar about to go to the table. So Ben's like, oh, okay. They rarely does a guest come in with last minute pasta dish requests 10 minutes before dinner. but, you know, I'll just serve something up for those feisty little finger poofs.

7:13Ronnie Karam: Ben should have checked in with them before dinner like I told you so. And she smiles. And Ben's like, well, I don't think Daisy's right in any shape or form. Little barley sugar bladder.

7:34you bouncy

7:35Ben Mandelker: bonnacle you.

7:40Ben Mandelker: So they all sit at the table and they start serving and everything and Ben is making this pasta really quickly and people are getting impatient because obviously dinner is slowed down because he has to make pasta now and they're like, where's dinner? Where's dinner? But guess what? Guess what saves the day? Once again, crispy duck spring rolls the unsung hero up below deck. Yeah. Making unhappy guests happy in the blink of an eye.

8:07Ronnie Karam: And then he loves that, but he's having trouble timing his fish because he's got to make pasta and he's stressing out. And so now they serve the sauteed wahoo and they're like, oh, the sex. It's tough. Yeah, so then back in the galley, Ben's like, oh, God, Ellie, we didn't set a timer for the pasta. She's like, oh, so it's not good? She's like, well, it's like nearly okay. God, this is gonna fuck us so someone they're still talking about their fish and one girl's like this is

8:36Ben Mandelker: overcooked i hate it it's like really i mean it's the toughness right that's that's the thing it's like yeah it's like prison fish it's terrible it's prison fish like ma 'am you've not been to prison i'm sure this is not like prison fish prison fish they should be so lucky prisoners like what the

8:53Ronnie Karam: hell we get fish yeah did i not have that on my preference sheet why are you eating the mush

8:58Ben Mandelker: So tonight at the Rikers Island, we'll be serving a sautéed wahoo along with a frisee salad and a chocolate cake for dessert.

9:10Ronnie Karam: So, uh... Hold on. Between courses, I would like to introduce our three-piece quartet of violins. Three people playing four instruments, four violins. Sorry, it's a prison. It's a little low budget.

9:26Ben Mandelker: Go ahead. One moment, we have a lemon sorbet course, just to clean the palate, before we have a study in cabbage to Donny. Rosemary soil. Cabbage three ways.

9:39Ronnie Karam: So, one of the women is like, oh my god, you guys are totally talking behind Ben's back. And Joanna goes, no. I mean, if he asks, I would tell him. But he never asks. He never asks. Who wants to know what Joanna thinks? Is a slide appropriate on the side of a boat? I don't think so, but no one knows because they sure didn't ask Joanna. Okay?

9:59Ben Mandelker: The problem is with Ben, he's freaking slow as molasses. Dun-dun-dun. Meanwhile, yeah, they're just sitting there. They're getting bored. They're like, is Ben awake? What's going on? Where's our pasta? Where's our pasta? And downstairs, Eddie is in his stripper outfit. And he's like, you know, and Jenna's laughing. She's like, I love it if it's well. And he's like, I didn't want to end things at all with Jenna. and she did, but definitely there's still something there. So I do feel like I've got a chance. Yeah. You don't have a chance. You don't. Or please, I hope you don't have a chance.

10:34Ronnie Karam: Your chance is stronger with you shirtless and ripped. I will say that.

10:40Ben Mandelker: He was way more ripped than I was expecting.

10:43Ronnie Karam: Me too. But it's still, you know. So just as long as you could put a bag over your personality, you know. So then the stews serve the pasta And they're like well thank god this isn't overcooked Am I right? Yeah

10:58Ben Mandelker: And then After dinner They actually really love the pasta And then it's time to bring out this cake Which we didn't really mention Well the cake is shaped like a sphinx For no good reason And so Batool sees it and goes What is that? Sphinx? He's like yeah you see it She's like wow what so good you think so yeah but she's transfixed by the sphinx i think i thought

11:29Ronnie Karam: she didn't like it i think she was like what the fuck is what are you doing because he's trying to like shape it to make it's supposed to be a leopard not a sphinx i'm so i thought it was

11:39Ben Mandelker: a sphinx too oh it's a leopard it was supposed to be a leopard shaped cake was it a leopard i

11:44Ronnie Karam: don't know but i'm saying it was supposed to be a leopard but was he doing things which is close to leopard i mean i think i think when you say leopard you're into spots yeah i think it has to be spots but whatever um it's crazy and he's got like what was it all as the tail like a big a wheat

12:03Ben Mandelker: was it wheat what was it yeah he was putting this like random like wheat frond or something he was like sticking in the back that looks ridiculous i'll say if it were me i would have first of all cleared it with the guests, but I would have done like a, I would have done like an orange chocolate chip cake, you know, something where it's like sort of like a orangey white sponge, but it has speckles of black chocolate chips inside of it. Right. Is that leopard?

12:28Ronnie Karam: I don't know. I think you have to like put that. I mean, he did put that candy coating on it. What's it called? The Ben's? Fondant. Yeah. He did use some kind of fondant because we saw that nobody ate the fondant. So yeah, I would think you'd have to do some kind of fondant painting with it. Yeah. Or, or if it's vanilla cake, just take dye and then, you know, dye the top or dye different icings and make it like that. I mean, I don't know. Get artistic. It would have been a good case for mirror glaze.

12:58Ben Mandelker: Oh, Dave in his mirror glaze. He could have done like a, like something that sort of spoke of leopard, like sort of like yellow and yellow and Brown sort of on top kind of tie dye ish.

13:10Ronnie Karam: Yeah. It's time for a commercial. It's time for a Crappens commercial.

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14:57Ronnie Karam: Amazon Health AI presents Painful Thoughts. I, um, I can't stop scratching my downtown.

15:05Ben Mandelker: Yeah, but I'm not itching to go downtown and tell a receptionist I'm here to talk about my downtown. Some things you'd rather type than say out loud.

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15:30Ronnie Karam: So now it's time for the strippers. So they go downstairs and they tell Joanna to sit like cabaret style on her chair. And she's like, well, I'm not wearing any underwear. So I don't know if you guys are ever that. You want to talk about overcooked? And they're like, okay, just sit regular.

15:44Ben Mandelker: So boys, you want to, you want to, you want to see my anchovy? Get in here.

15:52Ronnie Karam: So they do a strip tease for her. They can both do the worm or whatever that's called, which was pretty impressive. And then, I mean, I didn't get a boner. I mean I don't really judge strippers my wiener does My wiener said no but I was impressed That they could do a worm because like honestly It's hard to get out of bed even strippers

16:09Ben Mandelker: Love that move that's like where you're Standing and then they do that thing where they look like they're About to like jump down into a push-up And then they rise up again in a warm fashion They're like isn't that the sexiest thing you've ever seen

16:19Ronnie Karam: Yeah I mean that would be broken elbows If that was me but you know it's Cool to see somebody do that and Joanna is like yeah you know Loving it and so then Mike is now back in his natural habitat. He's like, this is all I needed. Now I'm back. I'm back. Me, Mike. Back in my natural habitat. Your natural habitat is not stripping. Stop it.

16:40Ben Mandelker: Your natural habitat is a cave under a bridge. He's a little troll. So

16:48Ronnie Karam: he's a cave and a bridge troll at the same time. He's double trolling.

16:52Ben Mandelker: He's a double troll. He's bi-trollish. He's bi-trollish. he's he's a mixed troll heritage yes

17:04Ronnie Karam: he's a big melting pot of troll culture so the cake comes out now and she's like is that a leopard and Wes goes yeah from Egypt she goes wow that's something magic mic and friends thank you now in case anybody's not grossed out enough from the stripping watch how I blow out these candles

17:30Ronnie Karam: they're like oh my god joanna jesus joanna the weed thing and the weed thing is just like all soggy at the back of it now did we just all forget the pandemic i mean are we just like well that never happened i just why are we still doing how did we have five years of being stuck in our homes and nobody thought of a better tradition than blowing out a candle on a fucking edible thing

17:52Ben Mandelker: why seriously well also it's just like yes you know covid19 is not as scary as it once was but we could take some lessons from it like how we wash our hands or um and a greater awareness of how we spread germs and how we keep people from getting our germs so like you don't need to like you know you don't need to spray a cake with your pasta mouth okay you know what i do when it's my

18:21Ronnie Karam: birthday they bring me a cake i take off the candle and i blow it out and i put it on the table who am i gonna blow on the cake it's disgusting i don't want people eating my chewed up anchovy pasta yeah yeah that's very considerate of you thank you i'm a good person you would know it from listening to this show but when it comes to birthday candles that's where i really shine as a person if i ever if i ever when i die and i'm at the gates of heaven and they're like ronnie you have said the meanest shit in your life and i'll be like but have you seen how i blow out a birthday candle thank you deserve a mansion on the hill okay not next to gabriel he's really

18:59Ben Mandelker: loud anywhere else would be great the measure of a man is how well he blows out a birthday candle so they love the cake they're like oh vanilla wonderful i love this vanilla cake i mean of course they love a vanilla cake and um daisy's like oh made a new cake you're welcome ben you know what because they're all so impressed that he made a new cake right so now it's the new next morning and daisy and joao are talking in the crew mess and he's like i've been waiting to pursue daisy because i didn't want to hurt ellie more than i had already but now that that is zim over i can't help but being drawn towards her so daisy's like i thought at this point joao would have come to me and said i like you or whatever but he is not making a move he's like ben dealing with guests.

19:42Ben Mandelker: He's saying nothing. So very confusing.

19:46Ronnie Karam: So Ellie sees this because they're doing this and the crew mess are kind of flirting. And so Ellie sees it and she's like, it is disgusting lowlife behavior. I know. It's alright. Just ignore it. Pathetic manipulative trash can.

20:01Ben Mandelker: Okay, well that's pretty good. And then Mike and Alicia are in the pantry and she's like, oh Mike, did you come up here to help me? He's like, well I haven't been asked to so I just thought I would. Oh thank you mike which is a surprising moment of camaraderie between the two of them so then there's just more cooking and the guests are eating their breakfast they're very happy and um when they're eating it when they're eating the breakfast they make this weird joke one of them says like yeah this breakfast

20:30Ronnie Karam: is great but they give them a side of peanut butter no they give them a side of peanut butter for their toast or something and he goes could you turn that into cookies it's like oh well i can talk about it to the chef. So she runs down and she's like, hey, Ben, sorry to mention this, but I think they really want homemade cookies. I don't know if that's something that's doable. Thank you. Peanut butter. Peanut butter cookies. Something. Cookies. And she leaves. And Ellie's like, remarkable. You say, let's take 30-minute break. Then one minute later, Daisy comes in and says, by the way, homemade cookies.

21:04Ronnie Karam: Oh,

21:06Ben Mandelker: because they had literally just sat down for a break. So Ben's like, did the guests ask for the cookies or is this your idea? Try to guess, although I love them, they're sort of the enemy because we're trying to please them and they're quite often trying to make our lives difficult. And it seems like Daisy is kind of joining in their fun. I'm like, Daisy is anticipating their needs in order to get a better tip. They literally said, make cookies. I mean, they didn't say, can you make cookies? But he put it out there and once a guest puts it out there, you know a five-star five-star yacht will make sure those cookies materialize but again it's

21:43Ronnie Karam: daisy's communication like i don't even like really getting on daisy because i don't feel like she's doing anything wrong i it's just like when you're dealing with ben just go say hey ben they requested homemade cookies don't say like maybe it would be a good idea or no no just put it on the guests why put it on yourself just say the guest requested that yeah yeah just saying

22:04Ben Mandelker: so Ben starts making the cookies which by the way if you're a chef making a batch of cookies is not a terribly difficult thing to do I'd like to add so they probably spend more time arguing about whether or not to make the cookies than just how long it would take to just make the cookies so now Alicia and Mike are cleaning and Lisa's like thanks for your help this charter oh it's been my pleasure it's just nice to know that we have each other's backs He's like, yeah, well, I don't know if I'd go that far. Oh, I knew you were going to have some sort of rebuttal. I'm like, yeah, this is not going to last.

22:40Ben Mandelker: It's whatever ceasefire these two have going on.

22:43Ronnie Karam: So now back in the galley, Ben's like, all right, do they want the cookies after lunch or what? She's like, I haven't told them you're making them. I've just heard comments about cookies, so I thought it was a good idea to make them. He goes, oh, yeah, bet you did. Yeah, that's what I thought. All right, nice job, Daisy. All right, shoo, shoo. And he gives her, like, shoo hand and shoes her off. And she's like, what the fuck? Hmm.

23:05Ben Mandelker: And Daisy does not like that. And Ellie's like, when do they want the cookies? I don't know. They will have a desk. Like, this is ridiculous. I mean, what is happening here? Am I right, love? I mean, honey buns, get it together.

23:15Ronnie Karam: Okay, so Ellie's laughing and then Daisy comes back in and she's like, I didn't say you have to make these cookies. I said if it was possible, it's a good suggestion to make the cookies. I made them. Great. And I'm telling the guests are going to fucking love it because I do things to help you. So please don't shoo me like I'm a fucking dog.

23:34Ben Mandelker: Well, you had a little smirk on your face. She's like, a smirk on my face. This is my face. She's like, yeah, you did. You did, Daisy, and I think we're done here. Thank you. I made the cookies. We should all be very proud.

23:47Ronnie Karam: You know the first person who accused me of having a smirk on my face? The doctor who delivered me your fuck. Make me some cookies.

23:56Ben Mandelker: I used to be in a band in high school called the Rolling Stones, and I was Smirk Jagger. Okay, get on with it.

24:06Ben Mandelker: so now that i had the parody name but the band was actually named exactly the same name as the

24:11Ronnie Karam: real rolling stones she's like you want to see the season with no more suggestions absolutely fucking fine figure it out yourself let's see how that goes i love her i just love her going off on

24:24Ben Mandelker: ben it's just so great i feel like no one else does it to him and he's needed this you know Hannah and Kate did an excellent job sort of going at him but Daisy is just like her exasperation with him is just so pure it feeds my soul so then Daisy goes to Jenna we just had a big fight he can use me like a punching bag like he does everybody else but fucking shoot me like I'm a fucking dog I'm annoyed as well because I feel like it's sending Ellie the wrong message being like it's okay you don't respect me

24:57Ronnie Karam: yeah that's not cool I don't want that. I don't want to cuddle with that anymore. Shut up. This isn't about you. So now we go to the galley and Ben's like, she did have a smirk on her face. You saw it, right, Ellie? That's what annoyed me. I do not give a fuck. You saw that too, right, my little chocolate cerebrum? Tell me. Tell me you saw it. She's like, you are so right, Ben. And this is what you need to work together as chefs or in a kitchen. This is what you need. You need to hate everybody on the floor together.

25:26Ben Mandelker: Yeah. I like that. i like the visual demonstration of the together with your fingers um yeah two like whisks together it's like your hands of the candle fingers because you just touched the candle so jason is like all right everyone all right all right lifting anchor we're coming in coming in for docking and then meanwhile uh everyone gets served filet mignon for lunch as well as fresh cookies and joanna goes did you make cookies no you did not i i am very happy you made the cookies now tell me are they my favorite cookie pasta anchovy lemon cookies so where are the leopard spots where are the leopard spots on

26:09Ronnie Karam: these cookies and even the steak is good this is a redeeming steak god because you really stank it up the rest of the time thank god steak and cookies for this idiot finally redeemed himself What a loser.

26:21Ben Mandelker: Here we have some homemade chocolate chip cookies with an icing dip. So you're welcome to whoever had the great idea of making your passing comment into a reality. You're welcome.

26:33Ronnie Karam: And Joanna goes, oh, Ben, wow, he's really killing it in the final stretch here. He's bringing it in the end. Wow. It's like a person who came out and finally sang a song in the curtain call.

26:47Ben Mandelker: it's like an 11 o 'clock number except it happens to be about 1 45 p.m

26:54Ronnie Karam: so daisy's like told us all and then uh she goes to the pantry and she's telling jenna did you hear that oh sorry for getting your fucking brownie points to help you with

27:04Ben Mandelker: your fucking redemption yeah seriously and but she's also eating them in the confessional and She's like, they're actually pretty good. So then we dock, and Ben and Joao are in their cabin, and Ben is like, me and Daisy aren't doing too well today. Apparently she's offended. Ha, ha, ha. You're offending someone? I don't zim believe it. He's like, it wasn't that. I mean, fucking hell, that smirk. Smirk on her face. Well, why don't we just do an adult dinner tonight? You, me, and Daisy. We can settle it over dinner. I don't know. Why not? we could have a little HOD, head of department dinner.

27:41Ronnie Karam: It's a House of the Dragon dinner. We should do it together. Should Rhaenyra be a lesbian? It's a departure from the book, but it's fun. Yes or no?

27:51Ben Mandelker: I don't know, because I can't remember who's who on that show, because they all have the same name. It's been five years since it's been on television. So why are you asking me?

27:57Ronnie Karam: They're all blonde. Yeah, we need to start a rewatch of that. We're going to have to start covering that in about a month. That's a lot of episodes. House of the Dragon. It's like June 10th or something. June 9th or 10th. It's coming back. June 21st. Okay.

28:13Ben Mandelker: June 21st. June 21st! Okay.

28:17Ronnie Karam: We should do like a trailer trash for that. Yes.

28:20Ben Mandelker: Have they released a trailer? Yeah. Oh, the new trailer came out yesterday. Yeah. I saw a lot of blood. Let me guess. Okay. This is my impersonation of the trailer. Those things have been set into motion. You cannot do that. We must do it. The sound of dragon wings. The fate of the kingdom. relies on this moment. You rely on this moment. I can't see you. It's too dark in here. Well, I told them to turn on the lights. There is no lights. Ooh, the sage, the wisdom has come.

28:46Ronnie Karam: My son! Dun, dun, dun. House of the dragon. So then the guests turn in their comment cards because it's over. And they're hugging the crew goodbye and saying thank you and everything. And then we go to Joao and Daisy and dinner's on, okay? Dinner is on. Ben's like, what are you doing? Having an HOD meeting without me? He's trying to persuade me to come to dinner as a house with a dragon. Well, we're older. We're, you know, we're all HODs. I'm into it. I'm into it. So Mike comes by and Daisy's like, we're going to dinner as HODs, but we're going to meet you after. And he's like, perfect, perfect.

29:24Ronnie Karam: So then Mike and Ben are in the master and Mike's like, oh, you're having a headed department meal, yeah? That sounds fun.

29:32Ben Mandelker: Well, Mike, you're a Dex dude, right? Think about it. You're the head of the Dex 2 department. Mike's like, yeah, I am the only Dex 2. That means I'm the head of the Dex 2 department. You're right. So you're allowed to come to the dinner, mate. Daisy's going to love it. You're an HOD. And in fact, I will call you Daisy-ah because in the spirit of House of the Dragons, you will have a very similar name to someone else, but it'll be slightly different. Daisy-ah.

30:01Ronnie Karam: um now first i have to say this is so gross he goes into the bedroom uh ben and he's all sweating gross after work and then he lays down on the undressed bed and pillow and just goes to sleep no that's a guest bed at least wait for the sheets to be cleaned so gross i agree he's gross

30:24Ben Mandelker: so uh now it's time for tip meeting tip meeting tip meeting and uh jason's looking at all the comment cards which are really um they complain mainly about the food so they are they're all there and um but ben is not there because he's still in his in in the in the primary suite he was napping and now he's getting ready and um they're all there waiting for him and daisy's like bond being late to the tip meeting as a classic example of what is going down in the golly. He doesn't respect anyone's time. And honestly, I'm so fucking done with this. He does not belong on that throne. It's mine.

31:01Ronnie Karam: It is my sons. They think I can't take the throne just because I'm a woman. Well, you've got another cookie cooking. So Daisy comes in. Yeah, sorry, go ahead.

31:12Ben Mandelker: Yeah, alright everyone. It's time for the tip meeting. It was a really, there was a good, nice charter and Daisy's like, oh, just really quickly, Ben's not here. I don't think that we should start without him and I just wanted to make sure everyone saw that ben is not here okay continue so meanwhile ben's taking a sweet time

31:28Ronnie Karam: and he finally comes up and uh jason's like oh wow everyone round of applause for ben ben i called it on the radio i want everyone here i need you to set a standard for everyone else as well that does not apply to the hair i do not want to see sparky hair on anyone else in here all right

31:48Ben Mandelker: so Ben finally sits down yeah as you said and he's like so across the board the reviews say it all there's still a lot to do with food going through these though they like the fish dish, the food needs more seasoning what could be improved, the food the food, the food, same thing that's coming in over and over again and there's only one way to get it fixed and that's to talk about it so talk about food, what do you guys like to eat do you guys like potatoes, who here likes potatoes now okay who likes fish sticks fish sticks no all right we're just gonna talk it out guys communication meal planning the best

32:18Ronnie Karam: part of it magic mike all right literally no one in history has ever said that about mike stripping but there we go also we got 28 000 today isn't that that that is crazy that they did that i was

32:31Ben Mandelker: shocked like a one-day charter that they got such a big tip and of course mike takes all the credit he goes personally this this big tip that we got was because of me i'm gonna have to use all my each other tips to stock up on the history it was not because of you it's because you got they got a leopard cake they got fresh cookies and they had there was a redemption steak yeah so jason is

32:53Ronnie Karam: like well the helmet's gonna go to ben ben i had to start the team meeting without you enjoy the helmet he's like well i'm slightly embarrassed okay but uh i don't think i'll be wearing this tonight, but I will carry it with me. So thank you.

33:09Ben Mandelker: So Daisy's like, all right, team, we need to have a chat, okay? And so Mike is like, Daisy, I do need to have a chat with you about something. So the head of department's Mike is HOD, so should I do it? They're like, she's like, no, no, no, no. You're not head of department. He's like, but I'm the only one in my department. It doesn't matter, you're not head of department. You're not viable for the throne. You're not an HOD.

33:32Ronnie Karam: so he goes away with jenny he's like i think people are worried about the power i could potentially have so i can't hear this anymore because it starts as like a little joke but

33:40Ben Mandelker: then he starts believing it or something i think it's like he weirdly does believe it it's like

33:45Ronnie Karam: that's actually a really good idea i'm actually the head of my department and he doesn't let it go and makes it real he's a weird little man he also just like knows it's gonna annoy everyone

33:54Ben Mandelker: so he just goes with it he's just like a little twerp like this is he's got such a little brother energy and it's like it's just too annoying to do that and you you're just you're you're on it yeah you're at work like that you don't do that energy at work you know maybe amongst your friends

34:11Ronnie Karam: or your family or something but like not at work yeah so then um ben's like oh god look at these comic cards is pathetic what what how can i have the disco helmet anyway they're not supposed to give heads of department the disco helmet. Come on.

34:27Ben Mandelker: Yeah, well, they did. Commercials. Here comes one right now.

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35:41Ben Mandelker: So they're preparing for dinner and everything. And Daisy is wearing a fish dress, which is very amusing. and you know maybe that's a good time since there's a fish dress to do a fish report

36:00Ronnie Karam: oh my god it's a fish report

36:06Ronnie Karam: um okay this we start with a gigantic fish that is colored like the rock it's purple it's a beautiful fish and they're surrounded by all these little teeny tiny fish it's like the big honcho yeah at first i didn't even see the big fish i just saw the little fish and i was like why are they bothering me with these basic ass fish and then you see this gigantic

36:29Ben Mandelker: hell of a fish behind it it's like a perfect fish it's like it's like when you draw a fish like that's the fish you draw you know it's like exactly the most prototypical fish it's like a fit

36:40Ronnie Karam: model for fish yeah and this fish is exhausted like look at its fin it looks like a big rock and it's not moving at all yeah it's like combed forward it's like i'm just am i still here i'm

36:53Ben Mandelker: still alive it's like i'm exhausted yeah it's from 1973 and he needs to wax that thing because look at these little goldfish hanging off of it yeah wax it's constantly pestered by fans just want

37:06Ronnie Karam: some privacy yeah so then we go to this fish um and daisy's boobs i don't know why they're the same thing but daisy's boobs are here and the fish is here this fish has beautiful um oyster shell patterns i mean i don't know what you what you would call this they look it looks like jewelry

37:25Ben Mandelker: it's beautiful yeah it's like a they look like sequins that are laid flat and um yeah and also like a nice nice bit of um eyeshadow like some yellow eyeshadow going on which is a nice touch she definitely is if you see her at a party she'll take like one little nibble of something and she goes I actually ate beforehand

37:47Ronnie Karam: they're like oh my god we know but you've been dieting for 10 years and just wearing red leggings is not tricking anybody because she's like trying to wear like a big shirt and then little leggings she's got this like red stripe down her belly

38:01Ben Mandelker: she's like I just I'm not someone who gets hungry very often it's just I'm naturally kind of skinny so it's just how it is

38:08Ronnie Karam: you're not fooling us mayor it's my body type so then we go to um uh this little generic fish

38:20Ben Mandelker: little town it's like a little town of fish little town yeah uh-huh it's a nice they're nicely colored they're very loud i like the emphasis on purple it wasn't a huge fish week

38:31Ronnie Karam: i'm going to tell you there were a lot of little basic fish you know there's only like one or two

38:35Ben Mandelker: I think there was like one turtle that like caught my eye, but, but, uh, last week was a real humdinger, but here's what I will.

38:42Ronnie Karam: Yeah, this one's, but here's, I, I had it on still. So let me show you, I think why this stood out to me. Cause now I see it now that it's playing. I love the fish choreography in this. If you really look at it, it's beautiful. You've got these fish coming up from the left and then they cross these fish and then boom, it's like this big cascade of fish. It's actually decent choreography. feet these fish are together they're not like look at them look how uniform they are they're all even their fins are moving at the exact same time they're not sloppy fish and we've been doing this for weeks now and we've seen a lot of sloppy ass fish we're like i'm going here i'm going there it's like school doesn't work it's like america right now everyone's like what what is going on with schools why don't they work and this is a school that works it's a montessori school of fish

39:31Ben Mandelker: and it makes me almost, I'm always so impressed that the fish don't get confused and wind up like trailing off into another school and then be like, wait a second, I'm with all the sardines. This isn't my class.

39:40Ronnie Karam: Yeah, but let me tell you, this class is like on a vacation somewhere and they're all like the perfect school. Even their uniforms are all perfectly done, perfectly pressed. Yeah. Look at the other schools that are also there. You see them behind them. They're chaotic. They're like, do you even have teachers? It's like, what's the point of going to school if you're just homeschooled?

40:00Ben Mandelker: you know what i mean they're just trying to form their school they're like do you want to be in school together you want to be in school but the purple clue like the purple crew is like we're set we're honoring a prince on the 10-year anniversary of his death which was this past

40:10Ronnie Karam: weekend oh um i think he hated gay people okay so then um we see this fish this little chicken nugget fish this was the lisa renne fish i think yeah this was the lisa renne fish who if you're looking at it straight it's very cute but if you look at it from the profile it's just an ugly fish

40:29Ben Mandelker: You see all the issues. I also do like that this fish seems to be talking to us because there's a caption that says, see you in a little bit. But it looks like the fish is saying it. Like, ah, see you in a little bit. Because it's also giving us an eye. It's already moving away from us, but it's eyes looking back. Like, okay, well, see you in a bit. We already bored this fish. I'm like, you're the ugly one.

40:50Ronnie Karam: I think it's just trying to avoid Mike getting naked again because Mike is up on the screen getting naked.

40:55Ben Mandelker: I think this is a puffer fish from the side because normally the puffer fishes are adorable, but you're right. Profile is not their strong feature.

41:03Ronnie Karam: I get it because I'm like that. I'm cuter this way, straight on. That's why I like the videos this way. You were like, why don't we do the videos maybe facing a little to the side? Because this is what I look like to the side. This is how I look cute. You look great from the side. No, I look great from the side. I look like this puffer fish. I look like this puffer fish. By the way, I didn't want to do the videos.

41:20Ben Mandelker: I did not want to do the videos in profile. If anyone who doesn't want to do profile, it's me because I've got this chin that sticks out like a telepad. but um but you know three quarter three quarter three quarter that's it's not i mean straight on

41:33Ronnie Karam: so like this puffer fish okay so then we go to okay this we've seen a lot of stingrays tons of them a lot the reason i like this one is because it's like our first gay stingray look at it it's like yes flapping it's like wearing a cape and just flapping it all over the place yeah i really

41:52Ben Mandelker: like that too i noticed that as well like as opposed to standard oh i'm a stingray just floating along hi i'm teddy this one is actually doing some sort of like flamenco dancing yeah and like moving the the hem of its of its dress around a bit you know it like doesn't like this rock and

42:07Ronnie Karam: so it's like flapping its dress over the rock it's like haha sorry did that hit you as i passed

42:13Ben Mandelker: didn't see you there rock it has like a little bit of a reveal an accent color it's like yes i may look gray but look under here it's white yes it's great i love a peekaboo moment now mike is in his

42:25Ronnie Karam: underwear why do we need this during fish report like get the fuck out of here yeah yeah let's

42:31Ben Mandelker: crop them out can we crop them out is there a way to crop them out no look at this goldfish though this goldfish is almost like in a music video from 1992 like i feel like uh they might be

42:40Ronnie Karam: giants should be playing but it has sad it has such a sad look because it's facing mike it's like why why are you subjecting me to this well it's a bit out of proportion this goldfish and i think it knows it it's like my eye is so big i know it's like people tell me i should be a model but

42:58Ben Mandelker: nobody wants to date me it just has like a strange kind of shape this whole fish like it's its mouth is up a little bit too high its body is like i don't know like its fins are very distinct it just it's doing weird things this fish eye this fish this and it knows it just

43:18Ronnie Karam: I don't like making fun of it because look how sad it looks. Yeah. Hey, you with the sad eyes. Don't be discouraged.

43:29Ben Mandelker: I bet it books a lot of commercials in fish television. It's definitely a character actor. Or like saline solution. Or like it's the one. It's like the fish that says time to make the donuts. Time to make the donuts.

43:44Ronnie Karam: Okay. Here's a fish that is not forced to look at Mike taking off his clothes. And that is this fabulously printed stingray. Wow. Yeah. Now this is a leopard cake.

43:55Ben Mandelker: Yeah. This is a, and what's great is it's, it's swimming over like the, the seabed. Um, but the seabed sort of looks like a bunch of trees. So it looks like the stingray is just flying over our heads. Yeah. And it's amazing.

44:07Ronnie Karam: I just can't stress enough how beautiful the coat is on this thing. It's circles and it's not just splotches. it's like drawn circles with a hole in the middle and the lines as well it's like louis vuitton it really is it is like a louis vuitton pattern oh my god why is this why has this pattern not

44:25Ben Mandelker: become a thing in fashion you know i guess it's because like with like leopard you could in the olden days you'd kill a leopard and take its hide and turn it into something but like i think this is a great pattern for um a fabric this is like yeah let's make a thing this is good luggage

44:41Ronnie Karam: village so then we go to um this little guy mostly we've seen we've seen this shark thing many times shark eel thing i forget someone told us what they were called i forgot um but we get a special shot of it where it's like going slow and it's like zoom it's right in your face like

44:57Ben Mandelker: yeah it's kind of like watch out everyone it's like has anyone seen my wife has anyone seen my wife like all right look to your left to your left she's leaving you she's running she's still

45:09Ronnie Karam: running from you okay so then we get him again and then look at this turtle this turtle is hilarious it's literally sitting on its butt with its elbows on the table just staring at us like how many fucking shots do you guys want you're paying me a day rate and you want me to stay here for what 19 days you're getting that's it i want a cigarette this turtle uh this was the turtle

45:32Ben Mandelker: that stood out to me this turtle is like meditating on the on a on some coral i feel like we've never seen the sea turtles actually sitting down they're always floating around doing something weird eating like a piece of plastic like sticking their head up above water this is the first time where you've seen one be like you know what i just want a break

45:47Ronnie Karam: i've had a long day and i got a coffee i'd like coffee and monte cristo please hey guys i'm hiding behind a rock you're still following me with the fucking camera get this mic off me

45:58Ben Mandelker: seriously i it looks almost like i found a giant rice cake it's like guess what guys I'm going to snack well today.

46:04Ronnie Karam: It does. These things taste like shit, but hey, listen, I ain't getting any thinner. Yours don't help. And that was the fish report. Fish report. Now we're done with the fish report.

46:20Ben Mandelker: It was not a strong week. Not a strong week. I give it to the turtle. Fish of the week goes to the turtle for me.

46:27Ronnie Karam: Okay. Yeah. I'm going to stick with the purple school of fish. I thought their choreography was good. I loved their outfits. And I love seeing teamwork.

46:37Ben Mandelker: Okay. That's a surprise choice, those tiny purple fish. But I will support you.

46:42Ronnie Karam: You know. So there are no small parts. Only small fish.

46:46Ben Mandelker: Ensemble needs to be recognized sometimes. Yes.

46:50Ronnie Karam: So now Mike walks upstairs with Jenna. And he's like, oh, people are thinking of my power. Shut up. So then Joao asks Daisy what she's wearing for dinner. And then Jenna, everyone's getting ready to go out on the town. It's going to be fun, you guys. Wow. So now Daisy, Joao, and Ben go to dinner, and they toast. And Ben's like, to Daisy. Wow. Yeah. That did it. Look at me, being nice, charming, Ben. To Daisy, everybody. Hey, Daisy, would you like to tell someone here at this restaurant they should make some cookies? Maybe if they'd like to. I'm sure they'd love it.

47:24Ben Mandelker: Well, and cheers to getting this far, to finishing the battle with pride. Is there a pride? Am I getting an apology? Can pride be made into a cookie? It's like, I don't know what it is, but you're going to have to go over that one. What's the issue? Why do I need an apology to you? Oh, fuck off, Ben. Don't fucking do this. Just rip the band-aid and just say I'm sorry I was a dick. It's so difficult. Why? Because of your pride.

47:50Ronnie Karam: No, because I don't remember what happened. I mean, I was swatting a fly, Daisy. Come on. Is that what I did? She goes, yeah, it was rude. I was swatting a fly. I was the fly. I was the fly. You use people as a punching bag, and then when you get cold out for it, you use your charm to swim out of it. You did it with Ali. You did it with Alicia. You smile and you say, I don't remember. Come on. You make every other excuse. Come on, Ben.

48:15Ben Mandelker: Well, you've got to understand my little

48:21jello jiggle jamboree.

48:25Ben Mandelker: That when they, you know, when you said, well, they didn't actually ask for cookies, and you were kind of smirking, and so was Jenna and Elena. She saw you smiling. I said, oh, I bet she fucking did. Why don't we fucking dive into that? This whole getting Ellie to back you up. I felt like you were empowering her to almost undermine me. And when you shoo me out of your galley in front of her, she also smirks. So guess what? The one who had the smirk on her face was Ellie, not me.

48:52Ronnie Karam: Well, listen here, you little donut dura mater. The thing is, okay, look, how about this? How about I just apologize? She's like, thank you. That would be great. All right. Now, I apologize, and this is a hug apology. You want a hug? Come on. Let's have a hug. So they hug. And he's like, I love you. I didn't mean it. All right. Now, go away. Shoot. Go ahead. God damn it. You're doing it again.

49:21Ben Mandelker: I like how Daisy says, you always got into trouble. And you always get out of it by just using your charm every single time. It's like, all right, well, I apologize, and I'll hug you, and I'm going to smile and wink at you. Oh, okay, all is forgiven.

49:34Ronnie Karam: Despite everything, I get Daisy, and she gets me, and it would be a shame to lose that. And between you and I, if Daisy feels like I owe her an apology, then I probably owe her an apology. I still don't know why and won't admit to anything wrong, but I'll give her what she wants. Sorry, toots. slap on the ass carry on

49:56Ben Mandelker: so now uh everyone else uh the non-hods are having dinner on the boat and they're just sort of like talking and um and eddie is just saying like i think everybody needs to step up a bit and follow along with mikey's standards and mike is like yeah there needs to be more dex two headed department meetings and ellie's like oh you're the hod your hod only department you're in that's what it is so uh jenna is like rolling her eyes because she hates that Mike is doing this whole thing. Yeah, and Eddie's like, it's sarcasm.

50:28Ronnie Karam: Difference between good sarcasm and bad sarcasm. The good sarcasm is when I tell you we have a chance. The bad sarcasm is that. And Eddie's like, but that's called British humor. Oh, no. No, no. No, no, no. You don't get to pull in British humor on this one. And listen, I'm a huge defender of that phrase on Bravo. You don't get it, Eddie.

50:53Ben Mandelker: yeah so back at the hod dinner daisy's like all right let's get to the fun stuff who do you fancy oh well uh he fancies jenna full stop wow 100 the two of you giggly like a bunch of fucking school girls well now i obviously fancy jenna i think she's smart i think she's cool and every now and then when i can understand what she's saying she has interesting things to say

51:18Ronnie Karam: Well, I think you guys suit each other more than anyone else on the sim And Daisy's like, I'm jealous, you have a vibe What about you kids, eh? Such a bright future between you two Don't fuck it up Back on the boat, Mike is like, so everyone, should we play a game?

51:35Ben Mandelker: What was the most enjoyable thing about the charter? And Eddie is like, no, be just set up And Jenna goes, okay, what was your high and your low? He's like, well, mine was becoming the head of department and she's like, and he pulls out, he's like, makes like, he's taking the pizza box and he turns it over and he makes it like a little placard that says, like, had a department. So she's like, getting so annoyed by this. Well,

51:58Ronnie Karam: it means a lot because I was the only person in the department and if you think about the stew side of things, like I asked Jenna to come down and do a job with the deck and she couldn't do it. She couldn't do it. So, you need someone like me. And Jenna's like, you think I can't move around fucking Fenders? He's winding me, up. Is this a big fuck yeah today? And Daisy deliberately told him to stop doing just that. Wind in a row.

52:21Ben Mandelker: Take that smoke and smoke off. I'll swell explode. Like I slapped that smoke off your face and really like it fucking pisses me off.

52:29Ronnie Karam: So, uh, back at the other dinner, Daisy and Joao are smoking outside talking about Ben. And she's like, that is one strange man. Tell me about it.

52:40Ben Mandelker: The way he came into that meeting late, I felt like we're all a bit like, what the fuck, Ben. Well, the first time I've seen Jason go, I don't give a fuck. And I know the thing with Jason is, if he wants to lose it, he can. So then Ben is like, what are you guys talking about? Like, Jason! Like, well, for the first time in my life, I've seen Jason go, I don't give a fuck if he's not here. And that was for you. That should mean something for you, Ben.

53:03Ronnie Karam: What's your problem, man? My gal? Don't get defensive, Nazim. Yeah, don't. You need to keep your radio on, you know what you need to do. He's like, I was trying to have a nap. Good God.

53:15Ben Mandelker: The only person you're disrespecting is Jason in Zimbabwe, and that's it.

53:19Ronnie Karam: Now you're disrespecting the whole time.

53:22Ben Mandelker: Oh, for fuck's sake, does everyone have a go at Ben, would you? Has anyone got anything interesting to say or we're just going to bitch at each other? I'm walking away.

53:32Ronnie Karam: You pick up the tab. Send me the bill.

53:38Ronnie Karam: I'm kind of team Ben on this one.

53:41Ben Mandelker: Brilliant. Love this fucking conversation. his mantle if he cannot differentiate between friendship and work or even zim and non-zim

53:49Ronnie Karam: then it's his problem not mine it's his problem it's his problem not mine that was insane he can't take any accountability ben's just like twats listen i've got to be team ben on this one he gave you your half-assed apology what else do you want at least he's funny so yeah i'll give him that Go back to bed in the guest bedroom, King.

54:11Ben Mandelker: Damn. Yeah. All right, everyone. Thank you so much for being here for this episode. It was a pure delight for both of us. And we will catch you tomorrow with another brand new episode. And keep an eye and an ear out for our bonus episode, which will be about Restaurant Wars on Top Chef. Bye, everyone. Bye. Watch What Crappens would like to thank its premium sponsors. Ain't no thing like Alison King. Our way is the Amber way. It's the Foster and the Furious. It's Amanda Foster Whip up a meringue It's Amanda E. Lemon It's Always Automatic With Ashley Otto Put your hands together For Carly Clapp Get on the right foot

54:47Ronnie Karam: With Chrissy Offutt She's not just a Sheila She's a Daniela Etchles We never miss her call It's Diane Call Sunday in the Park With Dylan Clark Big Yay

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55:09Ronnie Karam: Sips some scotch with Jessica Trotch.

55:12Ben Mandelker: She's not a McBee. She's a McBride. Jess McBride. She's our favorite streamer, Caroline Peacock.

55:18Ronnie Karam: Kristen the Piston Anderson. Que sera, sera, whatever we'll be, we'll Lauren Sillsby. She gets an A from us, it's Lindsay D. Let's give a kisserino to Lisa Lino. Fresh as a daisy, it's Maisie McHenry.

55:32Ben Mandelker: Aren't you glad it's Marianne Arns?

55:34Ronnie Karam: Megan Berg. You can't have a burger without the Berg.

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55:40Ronnie Karam: I love-a-ya, Olivia Williamson.

55:43Ben Mandelker: She sure is swell. It's Raquel.

55:45Ronnie Karam: Yes, we canna. It's Savannah.

55:47Ben Mandelker: Cast a spell with Shannon Spellman. Let's share with Sharon Eldridge. Darn Skippy. It's Tibby.

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55:59Ben Mandelker: Can I have a Kavanaugh? It's Anna Kavanaugh. Somebody get us 10 cc's of BetsyMD.

56:04Ronnie Karam: We're taking the gold with Brenda Silva. Let's get real with Caitlin O 'Neill. Put us on a stretcher. It's Charlotte Fletcher. Hogle your horses. It's Christine Hogle. Don't get salty with Christine Pepper. Can't have a meal without the Emily sides.

56:20Ben Mandelker: Who, what, why, where, and Gwen Pentland. Nobody holds a candle to Jamie Kendall. We got our wish. It's Jen Plisch. My favorite Murdo, Karen McMurdo. Let's get savage with Laura Wildman. In the study with a candlestick, it's Leslie Peacock. We're ride or die for Lisa Ryder Barron. She's a whiz, it's Liz Sarthy. Always killing it, it's Lola Alkalani. Roger that, it's Marlis Rogers.

56:45Ronnie Karam: The incredible edible Matthews sisters. She eases our woes, it's Melissa St. Rose. She's the lady of the house, it's Rachel Schirouse. There's a chance of meatballs, it's Rebecca Cloud. She's our princess, it's Rebecca Prince.

56:58Ben Mandelker: Maximum love for Sandy Maximoska. She's the Queen Bee, it's Sarah Lemke. We cannot tell a lie, it's Sarah Talafson. Shannon, out of a can, and Anthony. Please don't stop, it's Soli and Pop. Let's take off with Tam La Plaine. Strike a pose, it's Tori Rose.

57:16Ronnie Karam: She ain't no shrinking Violet Kuchar. We love you guys.

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