#3341 The Valley S3E05: Lonely Janet

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0:49Ben Mandelker: Well, hello and welcome to Watch What Crappens, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that We just love to talk about. I'm Ben Mandelker and joining me is the one and only Ronnie Karam. Hi, Ronnie. How's it going?

1:01Ronnie Karam: Good. What's going on, baby?

1:05Ben Mandelker: Not much. Just, you know, getting through the week. We're already here at Thursday, which is fabulous. Did you guys hear? Cabaret is happening. A crappin's cabaret. Forbidden Housewives is happening on June 3rd and June 5th. And most of the tickets are already gone. How about that? so be sure to get it it's happening in new york city at green room 42 the uh ticketing link is on our website it's also on our social media come join us we're gonna have a lot of fun just singing and forgetting lyrics all night long we cannot wait

1:45Ronnie Karam: if ever you want to see us wanted to see us do some face falling this might be the time to do it. So come. Disaster possible. Very possible. But it'll be a fun disaster even if it is a disaster. It's so fun. We've been working on it and cracking ourselves up. So come let us crack you up as well, guys. This is the Valley Day. If you want this on Vidya, you can get that at patreon.com. It's also where you get ad-free listening, bonus episodes and Discord server and our free blog every week. Just go sign up for that. This makes fun of all the Bravo stuff all over again for you. And today is The Valley Season 3, Episode 5, Hive Mentality.

2:27Ben Mandelker: Yeah, Hive Mentality. You know, people have been pretty down on The Valley. They've been pretty down on it. Pretty, pretty down. And, you know, I watch it and I'm like, I don't think it's really that bad. I think it's actually perfectly fine. like is it does it have the same urgency as it did last year maybe not but i'm fully entertained all the way through so uh yeah i mean do i love that schwartz and lala are on it not really do i think they are improving it not really are they maybe bringing it down perhaps but i do think that the show is by and large still entertaining i'm still on board i just want to point that out And now, especially since we, you know, next year, fingers crossed, Dr.

3:15Dre comes in as Michelle's boyfriend.

3:19Ben Mandelker: Wow, Dr. Dre. I'm definitely invested.

3:21Ronnie Karam: Who saw that one coming?

3:22Ben Mandelker: I know. That is the most hilarious. We needed that. We needed that because we need something light and frothy in the world of Bravo gossip, I think. Things are getting dark out there. No kidding.

3:36Ronnie Karam: You saw the thing about West's cousin who killed her grandmother the day before the reunion. That's nuts.

3:42Ben Mandelker: I know. That news broke while we were sitting here yapping away. Like, West, West, West. I mean, obviously one thing has nothing to, like, you know, it's a terrible tragedy. And my heart breaks for him and his family for that. So, like, that. I think everyone kind of agrees that regardless of what scandal, what stupid scandal is happening in the world of Bravo, we all agree that that's a horrific thing that they had to endure. And it really did suck that he had to, that happened the night before the reunion. And he, you know, there was no way for him. That wasn't, that's just a shitty, shitty situation for him to be in.

4:17Ben Mandelker: But yeah, crazy, crazy turn on that front. Truly, my God. Yeah.

4:24Ronnie Karam: Okay, so.

4:26Ben Mandelker: But Dr. Dre and Michelle, Michelle, Sonny, you know, that's the sunshine we need. Okay. michelle you know in the uh in in the uh recording booth watch lala all of a sudden become real good friends with michelle um yeah it's already pretty close with michelle i think this has been going

4:47Ronnie Karam: on for a while because they were showing a clip of sheena in the after show or somewhere i don't know i don't know where clips of sheena are like where they're coming from but they're seen they seem to still be out you would never know that sheena's not on tv because there are still clips of her all over the place saying stuff i'm like where'd this come from some after show of something i don't know sheena's on every show now she'll be on the after show of game of thrones you know coming up the the dance or the dragon show or whatever she'll be like well you know what i really didn't approve of renera and the way that she handled that whole situation like i totally would have done something different because i dated a guy from desperate housewives so yeah um

5:23Ben Mandelker: i was actually supposed to have a dragon and like i gave my dragon up because i'm like a people pleaser but like honestly like i should be a dragon rider i fucked a dragon okay there i said

5:33Ronnie Karam: it you heard it here first okay but if you want to know which one you're gonna have to buy my book so she was on some after show and she was saying her hall pass is dr dre and they were like dr dre and she's like yeah that's my hall pass and i already told brock and then it cuts to brock and he's like yeah that's a whole pass dr dre so i think dr dre has already been in this circle and she's already trying to fuck him she's already trying to take someone else's else's guy because that's a crazy coincidence right yeah that's i mean like no disrespect to dr dre i mean he's

6:11Ben Mandelker: obviously a legend and genius etc etc but like is he really a lot of people's hall passes like that was surprising to me i mean i know he got buff and everything he had that moment where he got buff i just wouldn't think that he was like a hall pass like i think like a hall pass is like what's his face who plays superman or like chris hemsworth or something like that like i just i'm not thinking like dr dre but you know dr selva you know what i mean listen like every building has a hall every building has a hall i like that every pot's got a lid and every building's got a hall honey which actually isn't even true there are many buildings that have no halls but i like

6:58Ronnie Karam: it you're not really even considered a building without a hall you get a hall hallless buildings

7:05Ben Mandelker: it's like some bastardization of every pot has a lid right every building has a hall yeah also I loved it. The halls of, halls of justice.

7:13Ronnie Karam: Yeah. Oh, that's happening. So yeah, hopefully something will happen. You know, the Valley is not something I worry about too much. I don't war. I don't stay at up nights. Like this show sucks. I mean, I do think it's been depressing as fuck this season. It's always had that air about it though. The Valley is just something I just enjoy anyway. I just like put it on and I don't worry about it. I just sit here and let it, let it wash over me and then wash it off when it, when it's done.

7:38Ben Mandelker: Yeah. Yeah. I just always like to weigh in with unimportant opinions about. No, it's not important. I just, I just,

7:47Ronnie Karam: I just can't compete with an important opinion today because I don't have one.

7:51Ben Mandelker: My mind is still really just sort of stuck on Sheena declaring that Dr. Dre is her hall pass. Cause I'm like, wow, even with your hall pass, you're the, you're the third wheel.

8:03Ronnie Karam: True. Bless your heart. All right. So here we go. Jesse is FaceTiming Lacey and he's wearing a wacky. yellow feather hat and he's like is this my hat now are you gonna pick it up and then we see a picture of her wearing this hat i'm guessing for some kind of like charity event where you have to wear costumes because she's an oc housewife right because why else would you have that and she's like are you trolling me i feel personally attacked um and then we speaking of which we

8:33Ben Mandelker: go to janet and jason's house and they're cooking dinner somehow avoiding massive head injuries with their low-hanging stovetop hood and jason is like oh so have you looked into any other schools in addition to the ones we've already looked at because i really don't think he needs private elementary school and she's like we've got to figure out if we're moving they basically have to figure out what to do with the baby where to send the baby and then finally we land at gymnastics uh where nia and michelle show up at like kitty gymnastics and uh michelle starts doing these crazy cartwheels. It's like, what's going on with Michelle?

9:06Ben Mandelker: We didn't know she could express so much happiness through movement. And she tells us, Isabella just started gymnastics about three months ago. And it's always been my idea because I was a gymnast. Gymnastics, or as I like to say, it ain't nothing but a G thing. I didn't have a life growing up. My life was gymnastics. So when people make fun of me not knowing things it's because i only know gymnastics mcdonald's i don't know what that is mary lou retin icon can i get a double mary lou retin with a side of

9:46Ronnie Karam: zimone biles please this is what i order when i go to mcdonald's i like that her uh like i grew up in gymnastics that's why i don't know what fast food or pop culture is okay i would like one big carrie's drug please you never passed a mcdonald's and said hey what's that like on your way to gymnastics you're none of your none of your little friends had something from a happy meal that you were like what was i was they put a bag over my head and took me from the house and do

10:20Ben Mandelker: gymnastics i did not see any of the world outside of gymnastics every time i saw the golden arches I thought it was Bella Caroli's bee falling over.

10:32Ronnie Karam: Why does that still make me laugh so much? People make fun of me for not knowing things like Vazdvood and Bob Goldzer. What the fuck? I was doing gymnastics in a bunker in the woods. This is very Housewives, where a mother is like, okay, I was good at something once, you know, and now I'm just doing carpool all the time. So I'm going to get these kids. Jules Aaron's finger skating. Yes, I'm going to get these kids into what I want to do and then I'm going to go off on camera and show off. It's like when Stacey on Potomac took her kid to walking class for modeling. It's like, I'll show you how to do it.

11:14Ronnie Karam: And then she got up there and did it on camera. And that's what Michelle's doing. She's like, go off and dog do your DJ, that big mag over there. And I will show my moves. And so she's doing cartwheels and round offs and stuff. And then Nia is one of those cheerleaders who was like only in it for the popularity and the free stickers. Because she didn't know how to do any of this shit. She's like, well, I was a cheerleader. And I'm like, I don't know really what to do. What was that that you just did? A round off? Yeah, that's what I could do. That's what I. Yeah, me too. That's what I did. No, Nia.

11:48Ronnie Karam: Do one. Go ahead. Do one. Do one right now, Nia. You fucking liar.

11:51Ben Mandelker: You fucking mid-tier pyramid lady. We know.

11:54Ronnie Karam: You didn't even pyramid. You were just there to step, touch, step, touch, do the little dances and date a quarterback.

12:00Ben Mandelker: You couldn't even convince us that your arms were an alligator and that you were going to eat us up.

12:08Ronnie Karam: Burr, it's cold in here. There must be some. You forgot the rest of the lines. Why am I not surprised? Why am I not surprised?

12:15Ben Mandelker: She's like, guys, I turned the heating on. Like, no, we're supposed to keep it cold. But the atmosphere. Damn atmosphere.

12:25Ronnie Karam: Some Toros in the atmosphere.

12:31Ben Mandelker: So, yeah, Michelle is a gymnast. Who knew? Who knew? She is bouncing all over the place. She's smiling bigger than we've ever seen her. Like, she's in her true happy place at long last. And because it is Michelle, we now get the sad story that goes with it. And it's a real sad one, which is that basically her parents took her to gymnastics. and they're like, do you like this? And she was four. And she's like, I like it. So she started doing it. She did it from when she was four to when she was 15. And she was on the Olympic path, it sounds like. She basically was like, I'm going to the Olympics.

13:04Ben Mandelker: All she would think about were the Olympics. She sees McDonald's and sees it as like the Olympic podium. Like she doesn't even take in pop culture. She sees the Golden Girls and is like, those bitches are my competitors. Olympics. That's all she sees. And then at 15, though, her parents separate and she kind of like loses her will to keep going. and I think that's like honestly so sad it's so sad to me it's like you like because you can kind of see she lives with this regret of if I had only just stayed with it I could have gone to the Olympics but because things got messy in my family I I didn't and then on top of that the way her family sort of fell apart was also really sad her dad had mental illness and he was never diagnosed but it sounds like he may have I'm not even say what sounds like he has but he had mental illness and so it's just like a really really sad story and I was like I want to be like never too late Michelle coming for him and stuff like yeah he was hearing voices and yeah and now next thing you know she's stuck with Jesse Lolly I mean it's just tragic it's really tragic

14:15Ronnie Karam: she got Dr.

14:17Ben Mandelker: Dre out of it

14:18Ronnie Karam: Yeah, I guess so. Yeah, it worked. She's like, I will show you how to round off. I got a medal. Drop a bead. So Michelle tells this story. And then she's like, you know, me and my dad stayed close. And especially after my mom died, you know, and blah, blah, blah. So then she's like, which leads me to believe we did all day good rib. Michelle, you really need work on your like. your your scene planning i mean geez it's like happy happy gymnastics sad sad story let's go on a trip girl this is a lot for one for one scene i just came to let our kids hang out while we drank some wine next door oh this is too much so she's decided they're gonna do a san diego trip uh because i guess she knows someone with a house or something and so she's invited everyone lala Britney, Zag, the Amberglar, everybody, Grisden, Janet.

15:18Ronnie Karam: And she saves Janet for last. And he is like, whoa, what are the sleeping arrangements at this place where everybody's invited? Obviously, I want Janet to be my roommate. That's why I'm asking. JK. Yeah.

15:35Ben Mandelker: I mean, when it comes to group dynamic, I feel like I'm good with just existing in the same space as Janet and Jason. and I don't need to have a plan or strategy to avoid it. It just comes naturally to me. Well, that is good because you will be sharing a room with Snoop Dogg. What? I mean, who knows what's going on in my personal life. It's time for a commercial. It's time for a Crappens commercial. Did you know Fast Growing Trees is America's largest and most trusted online nursery with thousands of trees and plants and over 2 million happy customers?

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18:06Ronnie Karam: in-app, online, and in stores.

18:12Ben Mandelker: So then we go to Kristen and Zach and Brittany and they're going to sugar the bronze. Don't say bronze. Drama. Drama.

18:24Ronnie Karam: Corset rings and it's right. It never rings here. It's right. No more spray tan. Well, thank God you're getting it done inside.

18:34Ben Mandelker: Yeah, seriously. honestly thank god things like umbrellas existed so yeah for real hope they have umbrellas i forgot

18:42Ronnie Karam: my umbrella it's like yeah you know for the pool party there's chance rain i'm like are you kidding me weather are you kidding me so britney is gonna have a pool party guys yeah i'm so excited about

18:55Ben Mandelker: my pool party but my last pool party was an absolute disaster i let christine know that janet was gonna be the pool party and but as soon as janet walks in chris is already yelling like She doesn't deserve to be here. And I was like, but so after like a two minutes, she don't like walk down and let's all feel so bad. But like, so fingers crossed, we don't have anything yelling at this time. No more yelling. Oh my gosh, this group really freaks me out a lot.

19:17Ronnie Karam: As if Britney's not sitting there orchestrating moments for everybody to yell at each other all the time. This is Britney. This is Britney at her best, I think. When Britney's causing all of this shit and like getting people to talk about each other, like look at her boyfriend. For people that are like, Britney doesn't do that. Look at her boyfriend. It's the same tricks that she used to be up to with Jax. She tells the guy basically what the problem is and then sends the guy in and then the guy goes to smooth it over. This guy's got a lot of nerve. I don't even know your name, sir. What are you bossing people around for?

19:48Ronnie Karam: I know. But we'll get to that. So the waxer is like, okay, Brittany, you are known for doing completely disgusting things on camera. Have you ever done a Brazilian on camera before? we are gonna wax every nook and cranny of that oh my god do i get those i love those so much

20:08Ben Mandelker: no you're not no this is a different type of resilient experience it's not a brazi bite no it is not well i got it done before but i was very pregnant

20:20Ronnie Karam: whatever pregnant woman does you know what everyone does when they're about eight months They go for a Brazilian.

20:25Ben Mandelker: Hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry. Okay, so do you want, okay, so we're going to have like a landing trip. She's like, take it all. Okay, make me as bald as a biscuit. I don't think my butthole's hairy. I want to be as bald as a biscuit.

20:43Ronnie Karam: Then Zach is getting tanned. And she's like, you're going to love this. I love that. I love the building up from the tanning lady. You are going to love this. It's going to be amazing. He's like, can you contour it to make me look like I have muscles?

20:58Ben Mandelker: She's like, yes, of course. I'll just make it extra orange over here. So then Brittany is now getting waxed. And the sound design that they do is so crazy. Because I don't believe this is what it actually sounds like. But we don't see anything. But the sound kind of illustrates everything. Because it's like. they don't even do like a swift like it's like a like it's like a few terrors that we hear and you're like oh it's like stop it please it's like the rattle that they use you know whenever

21:35Ronnie Karam: someone's being a snake and they're like someone did something bad and it cuts to lala's face yeah it's like that they do kind of show it i mean i'm surprised i just wouldn't be able to do that stuff i can barely do it when there's not a camera there but to just be like okay i'm gonna be fully naked you know waist down for all of these camera people and the sugar lady or whatever the wax who's like all right let's do it and it's like your whole hoo-ha being stripped right there for tv i'm where is the shame where is it i know and then kristen gets up there and what's crazy is

22:12Ben Mandelker: that while kristen's getting waxed zach just walks in he's like oh my god no why i'm like It was very funny, but also, like, how do they have this door just wide open for someone to walk in and see someone's vagina hanging out? Is that the first one you've ever seen, Zayac?

22:28Ronnie Karam: And he's like, no, I've seen yours 10 ,000 times. Come on. And Kristen's like, yeah, he's seen both of ours, just, like, not at this angle. He's like, I think I just saw your uterus.

22:38Ben Mandelker: Jesus Christ. I laugh so hard. But then I started to cry so hard because I started thinking about it.

22:45Ronnie Karam: crying I mean raining on my pool party so Zach asks how date night was with Kristen and her loser and uh he's like yeah from what he was telling me it was like a good child and you guys are like talking you know you guys are talking about stuff that's going on she's like well we don't talk about things in front of Kaya because like even though like Kaya can't understand us it's important not to fight in front of Kaya Kristen let me tell you something about yourself that you don't seem to understand. You will be yelling at your man in front of your baby. You will be. You're Kristen. There is no way Kristen is going to go through life not yelling at that man in front of their child.

23:27Ronnie Karam: She is going to. So just start now. Just get the baby used to it so it's not traumatized. I'm very used to it. My mom can still rip my dad a new one in the middle of a Costco, and I'm fine with it. You know why? Because I was born with it happening. It didn't just

23:39Ben Mandelker: start happening late in life yeah yeah children will listen there's my um there's my gift gift yeah so um so gristin's going on she's like yo i told luke i don't feel close to you when i like when i woke up with a baby at like four or five o 'clock in the morning the baby's crying and this and that and the dog's like whatever and he's just kind of like oh do you want me to take her like what i told him was like i don't know how to be heard on those things they really bother me he's got to stop bringing up how much he fucking hates la all the time like hearing about it too often it's like so frustrating like we get it you're van gogh you're from a different century but like come on just like try to enjoy la and kristen says that like even before kaya was in the picture you know he was always like i want to move to someplace that's like closer to family with more land somewhere that's green but for right now like this is where we live so to hear that it's almost like on a daily basis like how miserable he is and how much he hates it here it's like frustrating and like i fully support her on this like he's been whining about this for so long It's like, sir, her career is bound to this city.

24:38Ben Mandelker: I don't know what he even does for a job. I don't know what he does for work. I don't know what he does for his money. But I'm getting this sense that he obviously, like, it's not geographically connected to a location. But she cannot shoot her TV shows in the middle of Colorado. I'm sorry. It's just not, it's not an option for her. So you either get with it and you don't complain or you move to where you want to be and you don't make her miserable.

25:06Ronnie Karam: So I looked it up. It says he is an outdoorsman and co-host of the Balancing Act with Kristen Dowdy. He lives in Colorado where he manages a 90-acre ranch and is involved in farming CBD per Reddit users. So I think he had, yes, I read he was a waiter at Bonefish, someone on Reddit said. Yeah, so I think he used to own some kind of a CBD thing and sold it. So he has like a little money and then now he grows the CBD on his own thing. I mean, listen, 90 acres, I get it, but don't have a baby with somebody in LA then and then complain. Yeah, exactly. And then try and like change their life. You were in LA, you had a baby and that's where the baby, I mean, once you leave, you're still gonna have to fly back and forth just get used to it and you're on TV and like what are you telling her she can't do TV then don't be dating a TV person

26:00Ben Mandelker: exactly exactly or you know what like when the show is done shooting spend a month or two in Colorado like figure it out it's not it's not that hard I'm sorry it's not that hard for them people with means and with privilege and they can do it and I just like I can't stand that here she is a new mother who is going through it and has an already enough on her mind that he has she has him you know whining on the side about how he misses being near a trout or you know some beanstalks or something like that like enough so there is no there are like no singing

26:38Ronnie Karam: baths on anyone's living room walls here i can't take it so britney's like you know and it's not easy on relationships i mean whoever thinks having a baby is fixing things i want a bunch of suckers am i right flashback to britney two years ago come on jackson just want another baby come on you can do it yeah date night date night and pregnant mood night but i do feel like there's

27:02Ben Mandelker: some elements from past trauma that have such shitty shitty exes like that sometimes like when you guys like get in a fight like you go for the jugular sometimes and like he's like not used to that and i think that's like making it hard that's why i like couples counseling or something so that way you guys can talk to professional and i don't have to come here and watch your waxy vagina and listen to you complain you guys have to see a professional i can give you the number of the person that i'm gonna use after seeing your vaginas okay except with stark and christian's

27:36Ronnie Karam: like my defense mechanism when it gets really bad it's just leave then just leave hello i just would

27:43Ben Mandelker: like to interrupt the scene and offer up a therapist nadia gulmanich sorry i don't understand anything beyond gymnastics it turns out apologies i will go back to my cave well after i had cruise

27:54Ronnie Karam: i was all about cruise 100 and jacks made me feel like i did not matter and after i after i had a baby with him and i'm glad that luke is trying but also i want him to understand a little bit more about how she's feeling because what christen's going through is very important to get over for my pool party please don't run please don't run so she talks about how postpartum is a real bitch and luke needs to understand what she's going really does and i agree luke is a child I don't know why every man on this show has to be a fucking child, but they are. And I did notice in this episode that the only happy people on this show are the ones that are divorced.

28:40Ronnie Karam: You've got Michelle, happy as a clam over there. You've got Brittany. She's happy. Guys, why don't we start looking around and figuring out who's happy and how they got there? It is leaving their children, men, their man children. Yeah, that's right.

28:52Ben Mandelker: Leave us.

28:55Ronnie Karam: so um now we go to you're right i am the same way and that is why i will i know but i know you know i don't put people through it i am a man child and i'm like you know i'm just gonna stay over here in my corner and not put anybody through my bullshit because i'm not a monster like you luke

29:10Ben Mandelker: okay yeah so uh over in elsewhere in los angeles lala janet and michelle are doing pilates at this week's buzzword drenched la they went to drenched in atlanta i didn't even know it was i don't know if it's there they're related or it just happens to be two different companies called drenched but i still believe drenched is going to be a word that we're not going to want to hear very soon um it's the priv of the season drenched drenched they're just so sneaky

29:41Ronnie Karam: with their plugs we see you drenched drenched is like all right guys we're infiltrating bravo how are we going to do it?

29:50Ben Mandelker: So Lala's like, oh my God, I feel like I haven't seen you forever. Maybe I was too distracted looking at my old Instagram photos when I used to hang out with 50 Cent. And Michelle's like, yeah, so that's really cool. Lala, the guy I've been dating. Oh, hey, Janet, what's going on? And Janet's like, oh yeah, I mean, it's only been like two or three days, but you guys had like such a busy week. She's like, yeah, how do you feel? Like, how do you feel seeing pictures of us all together? Does it make you want to cry?

30:18Ronnie Karam: All of the friends are hanging out without you, Janet. How do you feel about it? Roundup. Okay. Well, for a second, I was a little bummed out. But I wouldn't want to be invited. Because especially for something like with Danny and me, it just doesn't feel like things are good there. Also Santa Clarita.

30:39Ben Mandelker: Also Santa Clarita. Yeah. Saved on the gas. Gas ain't cheap right now. Janet, I have to say, Janet kind of won. she did not have to go to Santa Clarita it's a long drive a very long drive

30:52Ronnie Karam: so Lala's like yeah well I think you and Zach just need to go out and get drunks together that's all you need you guys will get along again and she's like well you know Zach and I have been through some very dark and crazy stuff and I've truly forgiven him for it this is a new Janet today you guys are going to see I'm trying it out I really like Zach you know we got to a good place last summer And as far as I know, the reason that he blocked me and did all that is because of Danny and Nia. And, you know, if there's something that I've said and done, I'm not above apologizing for it. And here's how I'll do it.

31:26Ronnie Karam: I'll go up to them and I'll say, hi, I'm going to therapy. Would you like to apologize?

31:34Ben Mandelker: Yeah, I'm not above apologizing for it. Unlike the way he never apologized for trying to murder me and Big Bear two years ago. Michelle's like, well, I do agree that he would be the first step, and Janet's like, well, I'm gonna do a game night. I feel like there's been a lot of heavy conversations, and I feel like this is just a way to lighten the mood and have fun, so I invited Jasmine and Michelle, and I was also thinking I'm sorry, Jasmine and Melissa, and I was also thinking about Zach and Benji, and obviously you know, have not seen Danny or Nia, so I feel like maybe that's not the time, because it doesn't feel like things are good.

32:10Ben Mandelker: I'm just gonna keep on saying that Things just aren't good.

32:12Ronnie Karam: It doesn't feel like things are good. But I just want you to remember, I'm fun, Shannon. And I had my birthday party at Dave & Buster's. Can we show clips of that? Because that was really, I saved up a lot of tickets that day. Who wouldn't want to be my friend? Right? Dave & Buster's, roll it again. I don't think they saw the skee-ball part. Show them the skee-ball part.

32:32Ben Mandelker: Is it bad if I say, why don't you just invite them, knowing they're not going to come? But at least you invited them. And Lala's like, yeah, all you're trying to do is like be cordial, you know? Janet's like, well, I think I should just like talk it over with Jason because like maybe that is the right time to extend an olive branch. I just have to make sure Jason doesn't say the clown word. I just said it. Sorry. Sorry, guys.

32:58Ronnie Karam: So now Jesse and Isabella meet up. What's wrong with me? Jesse and Isabella meet up with Lacey at Backyard Bowls.

33:06Ben Mandelker: Yes.

33:07Ronnie Karam: Backyard Bowls, huh?

33:09Ben Mandelker: Backyard Bowls. They were right next door to a blue bottle. Why didn't they go in? Why didn't they go in? Such a better option. So it's right next. By the way, they were like a block away from the fabric store. Just want to say such a good fabric store. So they're in and basically Jesse's like, hey, Isabella, do the phonics dance. Do the phonics dance for Lacey. Do the dance. Lacey's like, um, I actually don't want you to force her to do anything for me because she's not a clown at the circus. and she doesn't have to perform. Hey, did someone say clown? That's just not right. That's not right.

33:45Ronnie Karam: That is bigotry. And I will not stand for it.

33:51Ronnie Karam: The producer is like, yeah, everyone says you're the beta in this relationship, Jesse. He's like, yeah, the beta. She's certainly an alpha. She hates my storytelling. She's very to the point. Lacey's like, yeah, can I give you some unsolicited and failed parent criticism? Okay. She goes, oh God, what she should read rich dad poor dad what you're not supposed to teach your kids secrets

34:14Ben Mandelker: he's like oh okay well um the exciting news is we only have a month or two left before we're officially divorced because that's good i'm already bored with what you're saying i wish i had tricked him into wearing a hat again today does this feel any different once it's

34:28Ronnie Karam: official she's like no she's still gonna hate you the same it's like oh damn okay well at least we can be normal about Isabella, you know? So, um, I don't know. They're talking about organizing toys and shit like that. And she's just basically writing his ass. She's like, you can't even throw stuff away. You're a hoarder, loser, fucking loser holding on to kids toys. Can anybody believe I'm dating this idiot? Hey, Jesse, um, just, just wanted to give you something. It's like, I'm psychic. So I just wanted to give you, yeah, it's an eviction notice because you're not going to

35:03Ben Mandelker: live in my house okay so and she's like you know what i am not a hoarder i just have a casual doomsday bunker and she's like and by the way my doomsday bunker that's a private topic okay i don't want people to know where it is so she said yeah because he outs her for having this doomsday

35:23Ronnie Karam: bunker and she's like don't do that because when it's the end of the world everybody's going to come to my house and she's like so listen this doomsday bunker is not on my property so don't come to my house it's summer house yeah she says that during covid um her tiktok algorithm was all

35:39Ben Mandelker: doomsday bunkery and um so one day she went down the rabbit hole of doomsday things and she's like you know acid tabs and a generator and all this stuff and she was like well i mean i was like i just need to buy all this stuff because like what if i've been giving it like so much thought and then like doomsday comes and then i'm just like kicking myself that i didn't buy all the stuff so she has this shelter that's off the grid and she's like yeah i mean i don't think it's like nuke proof but it's like doomsday light so like zombie apocalypse proof which is funny because you know what last year someone told us someone emailed us they were like just so you know i know this girl and she's a flat earther and then i think actually we said it on the podcast and i think lacy herself i think emailed us it was like yeah i was like i'm not a flat earther she's like hey guys love the podcast i'm not a flat earther just to know i feel like i forgot about that i feel like the person like conflated doomsday prepper with flat earther and i think

36:38Ronnie Karam: that's how it all well i would like to remind you what was happening during the pandemic with all of these like housewives in the oc types um who were sending each other stuff that was saying like wayfair is trafficking children in furniture boxes and if you order a certain furniture boxes that it has children inside of them and then they were doing like it was all that q anon shit that was coming out into the mainstream like housewives and not i don't mean real housewives i

37:08Ben Mandelker: mean like real regular house you know what i mean it's real lowercase housewives yeah actual actual

37:15Ronnie Karam: housewives although vicky well i'm sure it did melt melt over into you know real housewives but yeah actual housewives like oh my god wayfair is you know taking her children or whatever and so a lot of this was happening during that q and on time so i don't know you know i would be surprised if some flat earther you know some flat earther light stuff got in there oh i have a friend who

37:41Ben Mandelker: moved to orange county and became a literal flat earther and she posted about it on facebook there

37:46Ronnie Karam: are a lot of that type there are a lot of that type in orange county i know that because i used to do catering and whenever we would go to orange county it was always for a housewife's party like an actual housewife's party and they were like they are on the show they're really rich they would show that throw these huge theme parties spending all of this money everyone was perfect and have these big rubber faces and the things that they would talk about. They were like pod people. I was like, how do you guys even believe? This is crazy. This is crazy. And you're all in your 30s and you look like you wouldn't be idiots, but damn.

38:23Ben Mandelker: It's just crazy that the county that brought us Lynn Curtin would bring us so many people who would believe in things like flat, the earth being flat. We're like, you know what? I'm going back to the Columbus days.

38:39Ben Mandelker: Who would have thought?

38:40Ronnie Karam: Yeah. So now we go over to Janet. And Janet, is it Chica's Tacos, which I wonder if that's from El Paso. Because El Paso is a very famous place called Chico's Tacos. So I was a little surprised to see Chico's Tacos. Okay. Are we copying? Are we spinning off? What are we doing here, guys? Is El Paso getting its due? That's my question. So we go to Chica's Tacos and everybody's favorite gay, Jared, is helping her set up.

39:09Ben Mandelker: Yeah. By the way, they're not even in the Valley. Chica's Tacos. I just drove by Chica's Tacos. I didn't know it was called Chica's Tacos. I drove by it twice this weekend. It was jam-packed. And I was like, what is that place? And now here it is on the Valley. So Jared is here and he will be channeling Richard Dawson. Well, that was the original plan. And Janet's like, well, I'm so excited for this game night. We decided we wanted to channel a Richard Dawson 1970s family feud vibe for this. And originally we were talking about how Jared would kiss everyone on the lips like Richard Dawson used to do.

39:41Ben Mandelker: But then we thought that might be inappropriate, especially given how I've called people out for stuff. So I guess we're just going to go with a Pat Sajak.

39:50Ronnie Karam: That's me, wacky Janet, making jokes. Do you guys like that? Making jokes about my dark past. Okay, totally over it. So I invited Nia and Danny and Kristen and Luke. And I didn't really expect them to come, but because I said no. But Jasmine and Melissa said no. Yeah. And I was kind of surprised at that and bummed because they're like game night people. So they would have had fun. I mean, it's games. It's Jared. Who doesn't love Jared? Everybody's favorite gay. Jared. Say something, Jared. Sucked at it.

40:25Ben Mandelker: So they're just going to have a fun night to escape from everything. and so they start playing this it's like not really family feud but it's sort of family feud it's just like questions and um britney's like okay you guys know all the questions because i think janet might have some of the answers not fire trading she's like what like what would i do like invite you here just to trample you she's like yes she's like i would do that yeah i would i would you know you gotta take a victory somewhere lala tells us i'll be awful at all

40:53Ronnie Karam: the subjects, especially the one that involves numbers. And they're like, okay, well, what subjects do you do well at? She's like, designer labels, Improvo shows. If it's like Housewives, I can answer everything. Everything.

41:08Ben Mandelker: Yeah, she's probably studied the application many times. So Janet and Jason are first up and it's like, okay, these questions, I'm like, I'm actually embarrassed for these people because Jared's like, okay, guys, here's the question. This has nothing to do with Family Feud. It's just a random question yellow and blue makes what color what is this what is this remedial jeopardy that they're doing this is their yellow and blue makes what color i would like to ring in the color is mary lou redden stop you can't answer that for every question michelle i don't know anything

41:44Ronnie Karam: beyond gymnastics and specifically mary lou redden i just watched her video names over and over again never really watched a bunch of other gymnastics was just really right and that's her only reference that's her only

42:01Ronnie Karam: now I like that they're coming up with questions off of like ziplock bag commercials too because it's not even like a real knowledge question it's just like these people have seen commercials right yellow and blue makes and Janice like green nailed it I'm really good at

42:16Ben Mandelker: this I'm really smart I just got that

42:20Ronnie Karam: yeah that's what i thought it was from so janet's like oh guys sorry my team she beat me to it it's my wife don't let jason sit on the buzzer fighting janet he's always gonna let janet win jason's biggest wuss on the show have somebody else do it um and then we have jared goes okay everyone

42:41Ben Mandelker: what piece of land is both a continent and a country i'd like to ring in please the answer is Mexico, the continent of Mexico. They're like, no, that's incorrect. Oh, I'd like to ring in. Is it Connecticut? Nope, that's not a continent nor a country. Okay, I'd select the answers. Okay, I'm wet. That's just a statement. Not a country or a continent.

43:15Ronnie Karam: Michelle, Mary Lou Redden.

43:19Ben Mandelker: no michelle god i would like to answer i would like to answer this is a very easy answer hi i'm here because um obviously we all know brock and where he's from the answer is jesse metcalf nope no that's no that's not the answer to continent but wasn't the question like what famous people

43:42Ronnie Karam: have been inside me no that was that was not the question all right all i'd like to know is someone from australia i would like to answer hawaii no no fucking frog guys guys guys i didn't want to

43:57Ben Mandelker: have to answer this because i'm the host of the event i already got the blue and yellow question

44:00Ronnie Karam: right the answer is sexual assault oh janet janet jeez janet janet so now there is a math equation thing that they have to do. 5 plus 5 times 2 minus 12 divided by 3. So that is 20 minus 4 is 16. Oh, you're right. Minus 4. Yeah, 16. Yeah, I would have sucked. I would have sucked at this too. So Brittany's like, I ain't even gonna try that shit! I can't.

44:39Ronnie Karam: can't what year did man land on the moon and uh who answers michelle lacy

44:47Ben Mandelker: lacy were there she'd be like um i mean are you talking about when the movie was made because like i'm pretty sure that's as far as we got guys yeah she would have been like never

45:00Ronnie Karam: it never happened that is one that you know that's one conspiracy that i'm like okay i maybe because there are weird things like how come the flag was waving and not like just flying straight up in the air you know there's there are certain things and i'm like did we land

45:17Ben Mandelker: on the moon did we did we i i don't have an answer for that i'm not a but i'm i believe that we landed on the moon i'm gonna say that we did no my money's on the moon my money is on um uh the astronauts i think they did it you believe in them so jason's team wins actually i said jason shouldn't be by

45:42Ronnie Karam: the buzzer but he did win because once we got past the ziploc bag commercials janet really fell off she was like don't you have any more commercials based on ziploc ads chariot do you want to stay

45:53Ben Mandelker: my favorite gay yes or no what was the finger that had a smiley face on it during the old ziploc commercials it was a thumb it was a thumb okay we're back we're back guys

46:05Ronnie Karam: you guys thank you so much for coming this was so much fun remember i'm game night janet okay don't forget i'm game night let's show the clips of me at david busters because that was really fun janet uh will y 'all come to my pool party right everybody's gonna come i invited everybody because we're going to san diego so i feel like we should let's be together like a little bit

46:25Ben Mandelker: before like practice and boom because it's a ball party please don't rain so janet is like well i feel like there's like a lot of people i've tried having conversations with and stuff it just has not gone well well i mean like what are you sensing like do you think like you could even go like further south things go further south than they already have gone i mean no i just i I hope not. But also with certain people, it's like, if you can't tell me specifically what I've done wrong, how am I supposed to apologize, Janet? You don't know what you've done wrong? And then go see what they're saying on the internet, and then you will have a pretty good path forward.

47:03Ronnie Karam: Yeah, I think they've told you pretty specifically what you've done wrong, Janet. Okay. Janet's one of those that's so hard to fight with because she's like, just tell me what's wrong. Okay, well, you accused me of murder. Okay. But what's wrong? Okay. You started my car on fire. But I mean, but no, really, like what's wrong? Let's get to the root of it.

47:28Ben Mandelker: But is that really the issue here? I don't know. I'm like very amused by Janet. I'm sorry. I know that probably irritates people, but I'm very amused by her. She's like a funny villain to me. She always has been. She cracks me up. Well, she definitely brings the show back to life.

47:42Ronnie Karam: I'll give her that because this is one of the other episodes they've had. So if this is what it needs, fine. So Lala's like, well, I texted Zach yesterday just to see if he was coming tonight, but he called me today and he was like giving me a timeline since before the pandemic of like things that he feels like he's done. Like that man remembers. He Pepperidge Farm remembers. And Janet's like, well, I'm not nervous to have a conversation with Zach and I know Zach and I need to have a serious conversation. I just want peace, you know. And I also know he's not going to drop any giant bombshells because I know it's going to be, you know, every little bullshit thing that he's just nitpicking at.

48:18Ronnie Karam: And I'm just going to have to sit there and take it.

48:21Ben Mandelker: So Janet goes, I mean, can you like not move past the bullshit? Like, I just don't want it to be like, by the way, you guys, I just I don't want to be like a hot mind, you know? And she's like, it's that's like a 10 against one. and like you guys have to understand these people especially like danny and nia like have posted and liked and liked comments on some bullshit about jason and i and danny's saying that like jason likes to see me have sex with other men in front of them like why is that okay but i'm not allowed to talk about stuff that's actually been done and so britney starts to cry she's like

48:52Ronnie Karam: wait why are we going past that what what is she how could you just walk right past what What? So Danny and Mia have posted, liked, and commented on some bullshit. Like Danny saying, Danny likes something that said, Jason likes to see me have sex with other men in front of them. What? And what is this? Because I don't believe Janet. I don't believe how Janet relays stories. So what was the thing that he liked? Did someone call? My guess is that someone called Jason a cuck or something. And Danny liked it. And she's like, how dare you? So you think that... he likes to see people have sex with me this one i'm guessing because you just never know what it

49:34Ben Mandelker: is with janet well at least no one called jason a clown because that would really be crossing the line for danny so then uh jay's janet's like i mean i'm not mad at you guys i'm just i'm just like you know i'm just like yelling about that like i'm yelling about them not at you and britney's like well it's just like come on like this person talks about her and like i have to be the one that's like well we'll see let's see and like every single conversation i have like shouldn't be about jan and zach and jan and zach and like it shouldn't be about that like let me enjoy my fucking life brittany who always pits people against each other and goes oops whoops didn't mean to tell you that thing she always says like this person is about you this person this value and now she's like i just hate being in the middle and like it's just so hard on me

50:16Ronnie Karam: these fights are literally all i think if we listed them all out we could pin these all on britney because britney was the one who went and told janet that zach said you know he hopes her she does miscarry or whatever and she was the i mean she is the one who starts all of these fights and then she's like well i'm in the middle of these fights why just leave me alone and it's also very reminiscent of britney always crying like how come every time i'm around all you guys want to do is talk about jacks like that's no fair to put me in the middle of it we'll keep hanging out with fucking horrible people and encouraging those horrible people and you're gonna be brought into the fights Brittany.

50:57Ronnie Karam: Choose better friends

50:58Ben Mandelker: and lovers and husbands. So she's like Janet sometimes when you have talked to them and then like you'll get up and like walk away you just need to sit down and like talk at my pool party okay and Janet's like I'm sorry wait hold on does anyone have some water I can splash in my eyeballs so I look like I'm crying I am sorry I just I don't want you guys in the middle of it anymore. I just don't want it. But it's a lot for me. It's a lot.

51:25Ronnie Karam: And she's like, seeing Brittany really upset really puts things in perspective. Like, I do need to try and make an effort to make things more peaceful. I'm just so frustrated. And I don't want this. I want peace. I'm afraid. I'm afraid I'm going to lose you guys over this shit. What if I got friends who actually knew the answers to those questions? How embarrassing would that be, playing a game against them? I can't. I need to keep you. You are the dumbest people I know in Los Angeles. Please. Commercials. Here comes one right now.

52:02Ronnie Karam: Hey, it's Paige from Giggly Squad. We need to talk about Abercrombie's new summer drop, especially the swim. Just seeing the new coastal inspired prints and patterns is making me want to book a last minute trip to the beach. And Abercrombie made packing for vacation even easier with the launch of Reversible Swim perfect for mixing, matching, and customizing your look. Prep for summer with Abercrombie in app, online, and in stores.

52:32Ben Mandelker: Now it is time for Britney's pool party and great news. No rain in sight. It's a sunny day. so uh zach and benji are over setting things up and britney is ordering pizzas and zach's like um pizza like half your party's on a glp1 so yeah i think it's gonna be enough pizzas babe

52:51Ronnie Karam: and then uh luke and kristen arrive with kaya this is a very classy party it's a domino's pizza domino i'm not above a domino's you know domino's got me to 400 pounds once upon a time I loved my Domino's. But if I'm having like a bunch of people over, I'm going to try and get a nicer pizza. What about you?

53:12Ben Mandelker: I think so. I would go. Yeah. Unless it was given to them for free. But yeah, I'd go for something nicer. And there was something else that was happening at this pizza party that I was like, oh, I have to mention this on the podcast. And I forgot to write it down. And now I don't know what it is. But just know that there was something else with this setup that I did not appreciate. Australia. Just know it was there. It was Australia.

53:34Ronnie Karam: you so um luke comes in and he is wearing like knee-high white socks with flip-flops and zach's like oh my god what is this what are you doing like what do you want like a neat tan line is that what you're going for oh my god these socks maybe that's the reason you're not getting laid

53:56Ben Mandelker: so they're all doing shots and everything and um lala shows up and then jesse and then lindsey who is Kristen's friend slash party planner. And then everyone's having fun playing beer pong. And now here come Michelle and Jasmine. It's just like, you know, the usual parade. So Zach is like, um, I was just going to say, I got some text messages this morning and I want to make sure you're okay, Luke. He's like, yeah, I'm the same as I was then. I'm very neutral. And to her, that means I'm miserable. I'm like, no, she thinks you're miserable because all you've been doing has been complaining and we've seen it on camera and don't act like all of a sudden you've been Mr.

54:32Ben Mandelker: Neutral.

54:33Ronnie Karam: You are walking around with knee socks and flip-flops. What do you want people to think? Yeah. I mean, if that's not a fucking cry for help, I don't know what is. You can't be walking around like that and then being shocked that everyone thinks you're miserable. And you are miserable. And I hope Kristen leaves him, and I hope she takes half of everything he has, even though they're not married, just because he walks around in knee-high white socks with flip-flops. She deserves it.

54:59Ben Mandelker: mm-hmm um so uh hey guys tom schwartz is here and so now they're talking about his date night at the belmont and he's like oh no we don't have to talk about it's too much i'm scared

55:12Ronnie Karam: oh i'm just a little boy i don't know how to date there was a girl there a girl with boobies what was i supposed to say to her come on guys oh i panicked i kind of like dig somebody and

55:27Ben Mandelker: when I dig somebody, everyone else just like kind of disappears. So it's like, oh, I don't know. It's like, it doesn't matter how beautiful they are. She was gorgeous. It's just like a lot. Oh, my God.

55:38Ronnie Karam: Yeah, so he's saying that he likes this other person, like this other TikToker or whatever that he's dating, and that's why he wasn't into the girl, even though she's cute. And then we see a clip of her and she's like, you want to have a cigarette outside?

55:52Ronnie Karam: And Lala is talking about how cute she was. And Michelle's like, yes, they could be like nerds together. No, they don't get to take the nerd title. I hate when like bimbos in Hollywood try to take that. Like, I'm really a nerd. Like, I'm really into like makeup.

56:11Ben Mandelker: Yeah, you're not. And Tom Schwartz is not a nerd. He has glasses. He is not a nerd. Okay. I'll show you nerddom. Okay. I'll turn this camera around and show you all my board games.

56:22Ronnie Karam: Yeah. I don't like when non-nerds try to take that over to sound smart.

56:26Ben Mandelker: I know. It's like, it's cute. It's cute. You're not a nerd. So then Jesse's like, oh, so no Schwartz and Michelle dating? And she's like, shut up. Don't, don't. I am dating a doctor now. You'll meet him someday. It's like, wow. So aren't you planning a trip? Like he said, you guys are planning a trip to San Diego. She's like, no, we are not dating. It's like, but you went to a salt scrub together. That's pretty much like you're married. It's like, no, we are not. Please stop saying this. You're going to ruin things with the doctor, please.

56:54Ronnie Karam: Looks like a love match to me, Michelle. She's like, you are so silly. So they have like a good energy now, which is cute, I guess. So Brittany finishes getting ready and comes down. She's like, oh, Marty. And they're going to put Adelaide. And she's like, this baby can't stop staring at me. None of us can stop staring at you. Have you seen yourself? Crazy. You constantly look crazy. whoever your stylist is is really doing you a favor because you are one of the most entertaining things to watch on you know i don't even need to have the sound on just have britney walk in and

57:29Ben Mandelker: out of rooms in different outfits it's all i know seriously although by the way i meant to say i thought her hair looked quite good when they went to the game night so jesse then is like by the way danny danny i have a serious question to ask you first of all earth round or flat second of all do you have undies on today he's like i don't don't can't gotta gotta make sure the balls are living free in their last few moments before the snip snip so then um i guess jesse was about to

57:59Ronnie Karam: pants him but yeah we see the clip of him getting pantsed in the first episode ever of the valley wasn't it great yeah and um now britney is like hi y 'all here's some buffalo chicken dip and nia says oh that's her oh go ahead ben what do you do you have some buffalo commentary go

58:18Ben Mandelker: ahead i had i remembered i remembered i was not going to complain about the party i was going to say for everything that we ever say about britney for all the things how she gets in the middle how she stirs the pot how for all her sweetness and cheer she can be a malevolent force man doesn't look like she knows how to make a good buffalo chicken dip i trust this woman a hundred percent when it comes to dips when she put that thing out there i was like yes i will come to your house for a party just for the dips because you know she can throw down with a dip yeah she's

58:53Ronnie Karam: a southern girl a southern girl who was raised in the hooters i mean that girl knows knows when that

58:58Ben Mandelker: giant glass pyrex of orange it was just it was sort of like shapeless orange goo went down on the counter i was like yes i am standing there for the rest of the party miss uh nia is talking

59:15Ronnie Karam: about this trip to san diego and she's like guys we wanted to do something really fun so we're gonna have the boys dress up like girls isn't that hilarious and afterwards if you have enough

59:27Ben Mandelker: time we're gonna go to trad wife land it's a new amusement park that i already got a season pass

59:32Ronnie Karam: for so basically you don't have to worry but none of the rides are scary because we have to stay in

59:37Ben Mandelker: the car full length gowns for everyone um bonnets i

59:53Ronnie Karam: heard that ann what's her fun what's her funds what's her buns and hathaway is coming out in a mood and get this trad wife she's like this baby it's a trad wife it's a celery who does housework um and hathaway is doing a movie about a trad wife who gets stuck back in like the 1800s and has to learn what a trad wife really oh i love i will a

1:00:18Ben Mandelker: 100 % go see that. That is actually a great, great idea for a comedy. Who needs rights?

1:00:26Ronnie Karam: Am I right? God! Women's rights. How uncomfortable.

1:00:32Ben Mandelker: Jeez. That is amazing. Oh my God, I want to see that. I just got so gay talking about it. That's amazing.

1:00:41Ronnie Karam: Oh my God, I cannot wait to see the Trab Life movie.

1:00:45Ben Mandelker: Trab Life, back in time? Yas, Klein. So anyway, Michelle is like, yes, I think it would be really funny if the men wear heels. I thought it's funny because when when Nia pitched this idea, she said, we're going to we're going to do something funny and like have a pageant and we'll dress the guys up. I thought like, oh, good. You'll make them look nice. And then it was like, oh, we're just going to put them in drag. I was like, oh, yeah, like it's like it's not that I'm not offended. I'm just like it's not interesting. you know i mean no no reason to be offended but um well some people would be like oh my god like you know drag is not uh it's not a it's not something for straight people to do like there's no comedy in that right like it's there and i'm just saying both some buddies would like to have a word and so would mrs mrs doubtfire okay um no one owns dressing up like a woman i think if

1:01:43Ronnie Karam: anyone owns dressing up like a woman it's women so i think if women are okay with it we should we should be okay with it that said i don't really get me to get into a big drag thing i just don't need you to see you dress the men of this show up like women dress them up like men first could you just make them look like decent men and then we can work on the women part after yeah that's that's

1:02:02Ben Mandelker: all i want like just like let's let's just we can work on luke first let's just do some makeovers Okay.

1:02:10Ronnie Karam: I'm in drag.

1:02:12Ben Mandelker: It just feels lazy. Um, so Lala's like, yeah, I'm going to do Jesse. Cause I'm like, I told him that he dresses douchey and he's like really holding onto it. And Brittany's like, Oh, you should definitely do Jesse. And like, we already know what Tom looks like. Oh my God. Tom is so good looking, but he was the ugliest woman I've ever seen in my life. And of course, then we get flashbacks to better times. which works in drag better times innocent times um so kristen is talking to her little friend

1:02:42Ronnie Karam: lindsey and they're like oh my god is jenna coming what's jenna coming oh my god what's jenna gonna say what's jenna gonna do and she's like yeah well she said she wouldn't be here and that's why she left last time and lindsey says yeah but why didn't she just own her space wow i love being friends with people in la i know seriously just own your space

1:03:02Ben Mandelker: and brandon is like hey be nice kristin be your sweet lovable self for your love for britney

1:03:09Ronnie Karam: because it stresses her out it really does brandon brandon who the fuck are you you get out of here

1:03:16Ben Mandelker: you're so fresh i didn't even remember who you were at the moment i said brandon i was like brandon who is this i'm just gonna keep talking until i remember who it is brandon shut up and i like that christian goes brandon has a very tiny lane in britney's life and he needs to stay in it like mind your business bro yeah like yeah you don't get to comment on you literally just got here you just have to be nice to people you cannot be weighing in on what people should be saying to whoever he's trying to jacks it up and kristen tells us yeah in that moment um had

1:03:43Ronnie Karam: janet walked to the back and gotten in the pool with her son or done her thing i would have just stayed away from her ignored her okay well you know no you need to let those rules be known kristen like okay here's how to deal with me at a party walk past me go to the pool or i'm going to tell you off.

1:03:59Ben Mandelker: Jenna would have held her head underwater until she died.

1:04:04Ronnie Karam: So everybody's like, oh my God, is Jasmine? Is Janet coming? Is Janet coming? Everybody, is Janet coming? So Lala's asking Jasmine and Jasmine's like, I don't know. I haven't talked to her since your party. And Michelle's like, should I degster her? Okay. And Jasmine says, yeah, how was game night? I didn't even go. Because I just felt like for me, like I didn't feel comfortable going to her event after like the last things we talked about. Okay, but can I ask you a question? Because what I'm gathering is that we have a group of people who are all making the same decisions. And there seems to be, as Britney called it, a hive mentality.

1:04:38Ronnie Karam: So it doesn't stop with the hive mentality. They're not all copying each other. They don't like Janet for specific reasons. They've all got specific reasons not to like Janet. To be like it's hive mentality is ridiculous. us you guys are the hive mentality trying to get us all over onto this other side and make us

1:04:57Ben Mandelker: believe something that's not true so jasmine's like lala you've not been around all she has is in her ear so of course she's gonna think that we're taking a stance and we're all gonna come together she's like no baby i beat to my own drum so um anyway uh she jasmine says that she texted um uh janet about the game night and was like we're gonna set this one out see you brits and lala's like at this point i feel like i'm one of the only people who like doesn't have a beef with janet and if i did i certainly wouldn't be passive aggressive i'd just be aggressive like over you up and say what the fuck you want to say and have a productive conversation So Lala's track record of taking a stand for the outcasts, Tom Sandoval, Janet, remains unblemished.

1:05:52Ronnie Karam: Yeah, she loves a villain bigger than her for sure. So they're still talking about texting Janet, whatever. And Jasmine is saying, Lala was, Jasmine goes up to Kristen and Zach. She's like, you guys, Lala was asking me about me and Janet. because she from her perspective she felt like you guys and christian goes well we were conspiring we were conspiring she says no not conspiring she didn't say conspiring yeah but that's what hive mind insinuates i mean do you make decisions for yourself do you make decisions for yourself hey you hey there's a gardener next door hey leaf blower do you make decisions for yourself

1:06:29Ben Mandelker: whatever you want me to say exactly so then guess what Janet and Jason have now arrived and Kristen's like I'm so fucking tired talking about Janet she's not even here why are we even talking about this Janet Janet Janet oh damn it I said her name three times now she's here damn it so here comes Janet Janet's walking in everyone get ready it's Janet everyone be calm everyone be calm okay we're gonna keep everybody chill there's buffalo dip and domino's pizza no

1:07:00Ronnie Karam: reason to be angry the sun is out who can be mad who can be mad with the two for five hot and readies

1:07:12so danny is talking to kristen and he's like so uh by the way went to the doctor they asked

1:07:18Ben Mandelker: uh they asked what my dietary restriction jar and i said it's a really toxic thing for me to have a caperna around me and i just saw two caperna's walking in hey smell this flower oops you just got you just got got some water on your face you got squirted it's like you really are a cloud hey now hey hey hey hey hey hey hey let's not say things we can't take back so tom is talking

1:07:44Ronnie Karam: about diet stuff with danny he's like well i just needed like i don't know getting workouts in because you know if i could cut beer out of my diet maybe i'd look good he's like i know but But you know what I had to do? Instead of beer, I'll have a white claw. Well, that's what health is, brother. That's what health is.

1:08:01Ben Mandelker: Oh, that's my least favorite thing in the world. They hurt my stomach. Oh, I'm gentle. Yeah, they used to hurt my stomach too for some reason. But you evolved. I did evolve. I am an evolved man. Thank you so much for finally acknowledging that. I evolved to be able to drink white claw regularly. Yes.

1:08:21Ronnie Karam: So Zach is really keeping it going today. this show it's just like this he's just going from person to person like we need to have a talk because this is a television show and i seem to be the only person here who knows did you see that she ordered little caesar she ordered dominoes who does that okay luke i wanted to talk to you about your relationship because it's something about you being able to go fishing or something and then you said it was like too far once you could go fishing and he's like no that was none of the conversation like kristen doesn't even listen to me she doesn't even fight about what's really being fought about.

1:08:54Ronnie Karam: I know. That's why I said you need a third party there. But I offered fish. Fish, don't talk.

1:09:01Ben Mandelker: I don't like... I don't... If you can actually get near them, which we're not. I don't like that Luke is acting like Kristen's crazy. Like he never brought up fishing. You literally brought up fishing last week. You brought it up to us. You brought it up to her. You're like, I haven't gone fishing. And when I did go fishing i felt bad the entire time because i felt guilty and now you're acting like no what fishing that's not even an issue it's like it was an issue for you we had to sit and listen to you

1:09:31Ronnie Karam: complain about not having enough trout well because kristin's side is that he's complaining about fishing but she's like why are you complaining about fishing go fishing and then you're like no i can't go fishing because now it's too far to go fishing spike this is this is the problem with marrying someone like Luke or being with someone, having a baby with someone like Luke. Uninteresting people lead to uninteresting fights. I mean, you're with this guy and now you're fighting about fishing and how far fishing is. I don't know.

1:09:59Ben Mandelker: I seem to remember the show Sorority Life on MTV, which was like, hey, let's look at a sorority of deeply uninteresting women. And somehow that season ended and I was more riveted than I'd ever been in my entire life. So sometimes it works the other way around.

1:10:13Ronnie Karam: Okay, correct it.

1:10:16Ben Mandelker: maybe uninteresting women can lead to interesting fights but just uninteresting men will never become interesting it is i'll tell you what's interesting right now it is storming out there look at it yeah i know it is dark over where you are it's like nighttime over here and it is

1:10:33Ronnie Karam: pounding down that rain pounding god is angry i hope you don't get a tornado so they're talking about the stupid relationship and zach's like um yeah you need a third party like i think if kristen heard from a trained medical professional like even if it's what we said a thousand times like it'll land better coming from someone you're paying

1:10:55Ben Mandelker: well kristen would say she shouldn't need counseling like we shouldn't need a therapist we should be able to talk to each other but i mean from my perspective it turns no she's probably saying like yeah i'll go to therapy but it sucks because we shouldn't even need to be like if you just talk to me we probably could have like cut this off at the pass but now he's kind of like blaming her for the reason why they're not in therapy and i just feel like it's not coming from her i feel like christian is someone who'd be very much into therapy or at least like sitting under a dream catcher and talking about things well that's different than therapy but yeah maybe

1:11:27Ronnie Karam: i mean look here's the thing i think luke is a total schlub but i've also been watching christian for over a decade. So I'm not going to sit here and be like, yeah, Kristen's easy to deal with because yikes. I mean, Kristen is having a very calm year this year because of her baby. But let's not forget Kristen is Kristen. So I imagine it is difficult to deal with Kristen, but she can't be with a baby. Like she needs to be with someone who really is not a child. I mean, I don't know. What do you want me to say? Because now she's having, she can't even be fun, mean Kristen. She has to be like, oh, I'm like, take care of you.

1:12:04Ronnie Karam: I need Kristen to be crazy. And whatever has happened to Kristen since she met you, I'm not getting crazy Kristen. I want crazy Kristen back. So whatever you're doing, stop doing it so I can get the crazy one back. I don't know if she needs to dump him and just go be, you know, crazy Kristen again. I don't know, but I need it back.

1:12:24Ben Mandelker: Yeah. So anyway, Zach is basically still saying like, yeah, you guys are great and everything, but get therapy. and Luke tells us, look, I've never had a kid before. Oh, God, here we go.

1:12:35Ronnie Karam: They don't have a handbook. Babies don't come with a handbook, okay?

1:12:41Ben Mandelker: He's like, I've never been with a woman through her pregnancy, birth and postpartum. I mean, this is all new to me. And I know that this version of Kristen, this is version of Kristen that hopefully won't last. Like it doesn't make me easier on me, but overall, I'm not a quitter. I don't like this like, oh, well, hopefully this version of Kristen doesn't last. like this is still Kristen and you should be don't be like oh like oh I can't wait for the old Kristen to come back like how much pressure does that put on her I feel like I feel like just say I've sure say I haven't been through this before but I'm trying my best I just want to support her not like oh I can't wait for her to stop being so annoying because of her body and like her hormones she just come back to being like the normal the normal person I knew it's like I just think that's so condescending and patronizing and just does nothing but to make her feel more isolated when she hears things like that like yes she may be feeling more emotional but she's this is still who she is and like you can't like i don't i don't like there's just something that rubbed me so wrong about the way he kind of acted like she was like this disgusting monster i mean kristen's a monster but like you said before we kristen's like a lovable funny crazy monster and don't make her feel bad for it you married it you or you got engaged to it you went in fully well you you've had as much uh point of reference as we all have had and now you can't be shocked

1:14:02Ronnie Karam: by anything with kristin and also i hate this but overall like i'm not a quitter oh don't do me any favors just go you know yeah don't do like i don't want to be the thing that you're like oh well i'm not gonna quit that i really want to but i'm no quitter i'm no quitter i'm not a jog you know what i mean yeah like i'm not gonna quit this i'm gonna keep going no just don't jog get the fuck out of here yeah not a quitter fuck off so now uh they go back to join everybody else and uh people are playing beer pong and nia says i'm a great ping ponger i know how to do a round house oh that's gymnastics honey damn so many sports in one week god so then uh brandon goes to krista and he's like how you doing kristen with like you know kind of letting go a little bit because i know that that's kind of your issue right now you want to talk about that with me kristen maybe let go maybe leave your house a little bit Kristen

1:14:58Ben Mandelker: well the nanny's upstairs with Kaya oh yeah because when Brittany told me about her I was like oh I feel like Kristen's gonna have the hardest time just letting go your name's Kristen right sorry she's like yeah I cry all the time I mean when I'm gone when I know I have things to work like I have to do things like work things I'm like thank god we have someone but then I literally asked Luke like Luke what did I ask you what did I say I said I said do you think Kaya do you think she's with Alondra all the time I said do you think she remembers me and Zach goes yeah she doesn't she forgot you and Chris is like fuck you like Zach don't say that don't say that

1:15:36Ronnie Karam: to Kristen Zach can't I mean uh Luke can't even have cute couple repertoire she's like hey Luke what was that thing I was saying he's like what remember that thing no about Alana nope Alondra nope that that's just ring a bell either you know the thing i was like oh do you think she remembers me i mean yeah you did say that was that like a story i should remember stupid story stupid um so now uh basically uh by the way at some point they did shots i don't know if it was here

1:16:11Ben Mandelker: or earlier or later but they did shots and kristen did the most kristen thing ever when she did her shot she took her shot and when she put it down she goes and i was just so happy that she did our impersonation of her so uh now zach is like oh i feel like this is one of those moments where i'm just gonna like i'm just gonna do it i'm just gonna like go up to janet be like fine let's do it john do you want to talk let's go over to that sofa over there and talk it's like oh my god yeah

1:16:39Ronnie Karam: okay and that's the funniest thing about janet because everybody's like oh my god is janet coming I hope Janet doesn't come. Janet's coming. Oh my God. Janet's coming through the door right now. Janet's coming through the door. It's been like half an hour. We've not heard a peep out of Janet. She's done nothing but like sit there and make small talk with somebody out of the window. Terrifying. It's so terrifying. So yeah, he pulls her for a scene and she's having a really good conversation that he interrupts. She's like, so Brittany, why do you have mosquitoes and I don't have mosquitoes? She's like, I don't know because I'll spray.

1:17:12Ben Mandelker: I don't know, but i'm hoping that the rain doesn't come and wash them away because they're my friends now so they go zach and janico to talk and he's like well i feel like you're very glowing and i don't know that's really all i can say he's like thank you thank you so much i'm pretty happy i got the answer correct the answer is green blue and yellow together and i feel like you know every year is a lesson and my lesson i feel like from last year was like shut the up and listen a little bit more and this is the thing i'm like working on my own like separately from whatever issues it creates just like working on my own self so i'm like new and better now okay well this is a

1:17:52Ronnie Karam: hard conversation for me to even start because like i don't even want to do this again she's like well but maybe there's a thing where we can like coexist in a way you know like i would like to have fun whatever that feels like for you for me it's saying britney you've got mosquitoes and I don't. Mosquito loser. What do mosquitoes only choose your house? Losey, losey, mosquito, juicy. You really suck at this, mosquito lover. See, wasn't that fun? Mosquito shaming. You should try it. And he's like, um, okay. Okay, well, if you have anything specific that I can apologize for, I would love if you got specific.

1:18:28Ronnie Karam: And he goes, okay, well, let me just start with this thing about pool day. Because you were like, oh, no. and then kristen kicked me out of the house and then you made it seem like it was a huge thing and then the language you use and like what you say to other people janet i was like whoa whoa whoa zach zach zach reel it in zach you're a little you're a little aggro here janet's literally like maybe give me something specific you need to fuck the fuck off is what needs to happen to you bitch whoa whoa whoa right we're not yelling yet zach calm it down buddy i should be more careful

1:19:01Ben Mandelker: and I should only use specific facts of exactly what happened and never paraphrase how I feel in that situation. Okay, but you know what? Like, sorry, we're going to other people, okay? How do you feel about me and Danny right now? She's like, well, I'm not going to sit here and talk to you about - No, no, we are going to other people.

1:19:16Ronnie Karam: We are. Go ahead. Go ahead, Danny.

1:19:19Ben Mandelker: I'm not going to talk about - I don't talk about sexual assaults. I mean, I'm sorry. I mean, I don't talk about clowns. I mean, I'm sorry. I'm just - I'm not going to do that with you right now.

1:19:26Ronnie Karam: Oh, well, yes, you are. Yes, you are, Missy. you get right back in this car we're turning around lala's like wow he's like very detail

1:19:35Ben Mandelker: oriented like i couldn't even keep up look at that like zach's receipts on janet are longer than the ones you get at fucking cvs they're longer than their seat here and she has like a

1:19:46Ronnie Karam: prop receipt that she's printed out wow a prop we've resorted to cvs receipt prop comedy i know that i know that joke has been used for 10 years way too many times but it will help if

1:19:59Ben Mandelker: we actually get one from the store okay yeah yeah seriously so um they're making fun of them because

1:20:06Ronnie Karam: zach is like really going off and it's like yeah because when you take things to a certain level you want destruction janet and you want to destroy the other person and then you'll accept them back you know what you're you're so right and you're so on a pedestal you're so on a pedestal janet

1:20:21Ben Mandelker: I don't want to be on a pedestal I mean yes did I get the trivia correct do I know that blue and yellow make green yes I do so like I could be on a pedestal for that you know but do I love Dave and Busters I do I could be on a pedestal for that but like no I don't want to be on a pedestal I mean here I am showing through my actions that I'm moving differently I'm speaking differently isn't that what they're asking of me I'm ready to apologize as long as we can end this conversation and I just wish I wish I had never used the words that I had used. I actually wish that because you are friends with Danny, Nia and Jasmine and Melissa, the way you handled everything last year, I actually admire that.

1:20:58Ben Mandelker: You acknowledge what happened without involving yourself while being supportive of both friends. And that is something I did not do right. And now Janet's smart because she has learned the way forward is just to flatter someone. Ugh, you handled it so well, Zach. I wish I had handled it. Can you teach me the ways? You are so smart. you're so emotionally sensitive i should just learn from you and i was like oh yeah oh i like

1:21:23Ronnie Karam: this new jana yeah great great work it works like a charm and it's like the old oldest manipulation tactic in the book and it just works like a charm he immediately calms down and he's like okay but janet you know what like you know you this is like the gem that i love like this is the janet that i wanted back like welcome home oh my god like you were finally brought back she's back everybody the janet we all love game game night janet she's back yeah like that's all i wanted to hear from

1:21:54Ben Mandelker: you so jesse of course comes over to ruin it he's like um you guys have been talking like for 45 minutes let's go in the fucking pool and then he like dives in the pool and zach is like i hate straight people so much she's like i know janet goes i know so then um lala is talking to michelle

1:22:13Ronnie Karam: She's like, do you get embarrassed easily about sexual stuff? But otherwise, no. Like if you queefed or something, you'd get embarrassed.

1:22:23Ben Mandelker: She's like, no. Oh, my God. System error. I don't understand that. And Tom's like, am I allowed to laugh? I am leaving. See you on the next episode. So then Brandon and Brittany join Jesse in the pool. and Janet's like, um, do one of you guys have like a weed pen? So she winds up like smoking some weed with Kristen and Kristen's like, oh, Janet wanted a smoke. And I was like, that's a really great fucking idea right now. This is not an olive branch. This is not a peace pipe. It's literally just, it's a pipe. It's an, I'm still angry at you pipe.

1:22:59Ronnie Karam: Yeah. So they're cracking up and enjoying each other, which is crazy. So Janet's like, I'm back in baby. And then Luke says, I want to go pee in the pool and I'm ready to go. which I don't know is a joke so now it's time to go home and Jasmine's like okay who's gonna kiss Melissa who's gonna kiss and they're like Schwartz and Michelle should kiss and they're like Jason says well Jessie said you could do it she goes as if I need his permission come on so she says you guys kiss Lala so Lala and Tom give each other a peck and Lala tells us this party was a total success But with this group, every time we have a splendid day, it's always the comps before the storms.

1:23:48Ronnie Karam: And we see them on a roller coaster where somebody is verbally assaulting somebody from a car. I don't know. Is it Danny? Like saying shit talking to Jason or something in the railroad. Like, I would have cheated on my wife, too. Or whatever. Whatever. It looks like it's going to get ugly.

1:24:10Ben Mandelker: it's gonna be a roller coaster of emotions but i'd like to congratulate janet on this massive

1:24:15Ronnie Karam: comeback i mean it was pretty good she's friends with zach again she's friends with christian again she's back in guys she did it she did it see how long it lasts but she did it

1:24:26Ben Mandelker: yeah that was a tough road to hoe tough yeah everyone thank you so much for being here we really appreciate you and stick around because up next we will have southern hospitality and And go get your tickets to our cabaret. Let's sell these shows out. Talk to you all next time. Bye. Bye. Watch what crappens would like to thank its premium sponsors. Ain't no thing like Alison King. Our way is the Amber way. It's the Foster and the Furious. It's Amanda Foster. Whip up a meringue. It's Amanda E. Lemon. It's always automatic with Ashley Otto. Put your hands together for Carly Clapp. Get on the right foot with Chrissy Offord.

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