#3354 The Valley S3E06: Park of Unamusement

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0:30Ronnie Karam: We know a lot of you listening are in health care, and to this we say thank you and we appreciate you.

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2:10Ronnie Karam: Well, hello and welcome to Watch What Crappens. I'm Ronnie. That's Ben over there. Hello, Ben.

2:17Ben Mandelker: Hi, Ronnie. How's it going?

2:19Ronnie Karam: Good. How are you?

2:22Ben Mandelker: I am like beyond great right now.

2:26Ronnie Karam: Wow.

2:26Ben Mandelker: How are you?

2:27Ronnie Karam: Wow, beyond great.

2:29Ben Mandelker: Well, because I spent basically two and a half seasons of the valley saying that there's pools of darkness in Danny's eyes. And finally, finally, it showed him his true self. And I'm like, I get to be Ronnie today. I can say I did it. I saw it. I saw it.

2:50Ronnie Karam: He was a little asshole. Oh, my God. That guy's pretty much irredeemable at this point. F that guy. God.

2:57Ben Mandelker: Yeah. I told you I said last season he's being protected. I said last season he's being protected. And now Jax isn't there. So now they're showing it all.

3:08Ronnie Karam: Well, we'll get into that. It is the Valley Day today on Watch What Happens. We're doing a cabaret in New York, a musical, a Bravo musical. It's going to be on June 3rd and June 5th in New York City at Club 42. Okay. The tickets are sold out for the first two shows. We added a show on June the 5th at 9.30 p.m. So that's our last one. It's going to be super fun. So come see that. If you want to live stream the show, there are tickets for all three nights to live stream. So you can join us that way if you want to. Okay, who's going to stop you? Not me. So join us for that. Also, if you want this recap on video or you want bonus episodes or you want ad-free listening or you want Discord server to talk to other listeners, all that good stuff, go to Patreon.com.

3:56Ronnie Karam: That's where you get that. And today, it's The Valley Season 3, Episode 6. All aboard!

4:04Ben Mandelker: all aboard yes we're going to san diego san diego you know we should probably address one thing right at the top of this episode that uh you know last week i i know i personally was like oh my god this is so crazy michelle lally and dr dre like this is this is absolutely i was like because i was so amused oh yeah that that that michelle lally like has wound up with like a global superstar an icon like like where did that come from i'm still very amused by that but a lot of people dm me to remind me that dr dre also has a horrific terrible past as someone who's beaten up his wives and girlfriends and so like i'm not making light of that at all whatsoever and it's also very scary and i hope that that like michelle will be okay and safe but i would you know address i i if i didn't know i just it's something i just wasn't even thinking about i wasn't coming up always

5:00Ronnie Karam: dr google alerts what can i tell you i don't have my doctor my dr dre google alert set yeah but yeah i didn't even know but i looked it up and it's bad i mean yeah he's an asshole it even you know even beyond that stuff like when you what am i trying to say beyond like what's even worse than abuse i'm not trying to say that i'm just starting aside maybe saying aside from In addition to being an abuser, he's quoted as saying something like, well, so what? Like, you know, like just blowing it off. Like, who cares? Like, she started it. I'm like, oh, wow. Classy. Fucking classy. So, yeah, that guy's a real prick.

5:43Ben Mandelker: So, yeah, it's a lot more than maybe Michelle's thinking there. But, yeah. So, like, that was obviously not something that we were considering as we were just being snarky. is just to me, of course, I'm always attracted to the shiny trinkets of fame. And I'm like, oh my God, how hilarious that she's, you're not the only one apparently. Yeah. I love the fact that like she went from Jesse Lally to a superstar and I was like, oh my God, that's so cool. But obviously there's more than meets the eye. So I just want to acknowledge that like we hear you all on that. So, uh, it wouldn't be the Valley without, you know, undertones of darkness.

6:17Ben Mandelker: And And we have lots of that today. So I know. Right. Like way to start it off, everyone. So it's the Valley.

6:26Ronnie Karam: So of course, someone's going to, you know, date an abuser. Wouldn't be the first time on this show. But what the fuck are you thinking, Michelle? You have a child. Hello. So, yeah. So now, previously, Tom went out. What were you going to say?

6:41Ben Mandelker: I was just going to skip the previously is because it starts with previously, Tom. And I'm like, I'm just going to say, I don't care about previously. anything with Tom Schwartz. I will say I had kind of a very Valley moment last night. I felt like, I felt like it was, I felt like a Lala moment, which is appropriate because it happened at a ballet stand. So, you know, Valley, ballet, it's almost the same thing. And I was getting my car from the ballet and this girl walks right up to the ballet and goes, can I get my fucking car? I've been waiting an hour, a fucking hour. And I was like, Oh my God.

7:12Ben Mandelker: I was like, that's all happening. An amazing moment at the ballet stand. And I was like, and she was, she looked like Lala. she was talking like lala i was like this and the ballet was like horrified and then um and then she just started to laugh she's i'm fucking with you dustin i'm fucking with you it's my birthday because i did a good job right and then i was like yeah you did a good job he's like yeah i didn't know what the fuck was going on i was like you did a really good job she goes oh my god thank you i really committed i said i'm gonna talk about on the podcast my podcast tomorrow she goes you are oh my god thank you so here it is me talking about it but also like who the fuck does that it's funny terrifying the poor valet i love that that's funny so we start with lala

7:58Ronnie Karam: speaking of um she's walking around the house while sosa crawls behind her and she's like yeah that's so good sos bye girl and sosa's like bye girl i think she just said and they put on bye girl. But it was still pretty cute.

8:15Ben Mandelker: Top of the morning. Top of the morning, Julia. And then we go to Michelle's house and she's with Isabella and she's like, I think you need to burn up some energy, Isabella. Do you want to practice a push-up? What? Since when? I feel like I've never heard a parent say that. Like, okay, normally it's like, you need a time out or do you want to draw? Do you want a snack? Do you want to practice a push-up for the president's physical fitness exam coming up?

8:48Ronnie Karam: I would like you to hang from this bar for a little while and let us see how that works out. Would you like to work on your floor routine? Yeah, she doesn't make her kid do push-ups. So Isabella's just riding her while she does push-ups. Oh my gosh, it's so cute. That cokehead guy, Big Eyes, whatever his name was, is at home like, darn, now she's working out as much as I wanted.

9:13Ben Mandelker: um so uh then zach arrives at tom tom and tom himself is behind the bar and zach is like oh my god since like what are you behind the bar sir and he's like oh my god so they go to the back uh because they have a big table out there and janet is janet's there so because she now has like made some inroads with zach so like she's really excited to be doing things like having drinks with a friend again, which she hasn't done all season. She's like, oh my god, did you leave Britney's house before us or after us? Um, I left, like, slightly before you all. Oh my god. She's like, oh my god, best friend, best friend.

9:51Ben Mandelker: You guys, like, left a little bit after us. Oh my god, amazing.

9:54Ronnie Karam: So, um, Tom says he got them Bloody Marys, but they're not Bloody Marys. They're like vodka sodas. He's like, oh, well, I make a wicked Bloody Mary, but, you know, this guy has a signature one I thought you'd dig. I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, like, in my youthful phase now. I'm, like, dating young people. So I'm going to say youthful things like dig a lot in this episode. I dig her. I dig this. I dig his recipe. Youth. Am I right? The kids are still saying that, right? I dig it.

10:26Ben Mandelker: Yeah. By the way, I totally... Let's have a peek behind the curtain. A lot of times I watch these shows. I watch them. I internalize them, but then I go through this like period of time where I forget anything that happened on the show for like the two hours leading up to this podcast it's really weird and then as we start to go through our notes it all comes back to life for me it's like a wilted plant that's being watered and I completely forgot about Tom's model friend and oh my god this girl which is so ridiculous this girl Keanu who comes on and I'm just remembering it now and I know like I'm jumping the gun here by talking about her before she's coming up like guys this girl is so ridiculous this girl is ridiculous i was cracking up by her

11:12Ronnie Karam: kiana my friends kiana and rachel they're so amazing they're gonna come yeah i met this devastatingly um i don't know beautiful woman we met one of the last nights of shorts and sandy's was open but you know it's just like always platonic until you know she came in town and then um we went on a date and then it just was like it went exponential like i haven't introduced her to my friends yet because part of me just doesn't want to jinx it i'm just so nervous

11:39Ben Mandelker: i'm just a boy so then um tom is like yeah um she's a model she lives in new york but she also has a place here she's a baller oh wow tom how old is your lady friend she's 27 they're all the perfect age i know it's a little bit on the old end but you know i'm getting older and wiser So, you know, I just figured, why not date a geriatric?

12:08Ronnie Karam: Yeah, 27. He's 43. So that's, you know, 16 years. I guess in LA, that's not so bad, you know? So he says they bumped into each other at a bar. And she approached him, of course, because, you know, he's on TV. Then she wouldn't date him. But now he's on TV again. So now she's dating him is how I'm taking all this. And Janet's like So she's not your girlfriend She's just a talking kind of friend Oh no she's like my favorite person ever She's like amazing Oh me It's me Britney

12:44Ben Mandelker: I can't drink today y 'all

12:45Ronnie Karam: I gotta be sober Oh my god She has to be sober from now until her surgery It's insane

12:55Ben Mandelker: I'm putting new ones back in basically ran dressing on the left has an island on the right and jason's like oh well um i didn't know you were doing that like yeah i'm getting a full mom bike over here let's look at what the doctor said a few days ago flashback please these doctors my goodness like i'm coming in for some

13:13Ronnie Karam: love handle work the doctor's like all right you want to go smaller with the boobs all right we'll also do some lipo here lipo on your back your flanks your butt your feet we're gonna take off your feet we're gonna replace your knee with an actual knee that's decent looking okay you should be embarrassed of these things. Jeez.

13:32Ben Mandelker: When you said we're going to lipo your back in flanks, the flanks was hilarious to me. Flanks. We're also going to take out your sirloin. And I don't know. You want that ribeye in there too? Or should we just take the whole thing out?

13:46Ronnie Karam: One thing that's perfect on you, your ham. Your ham. Your ham's really good, man. So and then he goes, don't worry. We can get you in and out of here real quick. Okay, first of all, is that true? That you just go in and get all of that done and it's real quick? And second of all, I don't want to hear that. Like, you're about to redo my entire body. I don't want to hear how easy it is for you. Yeah.

14:08Ben Mandelker: You know what I mean? Take a long time, please. Yeah, take your time with this one. Brittany sits down and then she's looking at Zach and Janet. And she's like, oh, this is amazing, you two. And Janet's like, I know. I mean, look at my best friend and me. Look, isn't this funny? and Zach tells us, with Janet, I can always have a surface level meal with her, but I don't want her thinking that one apology fixes everything. Words mean nothing. I need to see actions. But Janet, of course, is like, I actually think Janet is just being tongue in cheek here, but she's also kind of like, I think she's also trying to annoy Zach because she keeps on calling him her best friend over and over and over again.

14:51Ben Mandelker: and he is like gritting his teeth. He's like, no, we're not just friends. Like, excuse me.

14:58Ronnie Karam: That's just Janet. You know, it's funny Janet. It's funny, charming Janet. What are you going to do? Yeah, you know, the word breakthrough, that's a strong word. It's really a strong word. But, you know, I mean, it sounded like you had a heavy, healthy conversation. Yeah, we had the best conversation. We're like besties now, right? Zach means Zach, my bestie. she says yeah zach's my friend and we he can take a joke you know normally and like we can play tennis with it you know me and go back and forth with that witty repartee like i'm your bestie no you're not yes i am i hate you you want to come to my birthday wish you were dead it's really fun

15:36Ben Mandelker: i'm glad we had like one conversation where we didn't like try to kill each other just for once and like that does not make us bffs i'm her bff apparently she's not mine yeah you know what

15:49Ronnie Karam: well san diego that means everything might be a little bit better too

15:55Ben Mandelker: i'm like super excited to take the train down oh are we taking the try the choo choo okay do we have to shovel coal coal into the burner like how's that work are we going back in time we're going forward in time i don't know we have to 85 miles per hour right uh britney that's the best

16:09Ronnie Karam: train the view was just like crazy cool i do love that train i love it too um although we had a

16:17Ben Mandelker: terrible experience once where we took the train down to san diego for a show and then we're gonna take the train back up to la for our show that night and then we had to the train was canceled because it hit someone so we had to that was like traumatic especially for the person and uh

16:36Ronnie Karam: Why are you blaming the train for hitting the person? That is not fair. That was not cool. The person was to blame in that one. The train is going on a very specific route. I know. The train did not just come out of nowhere.

16:51Ben Mandelker: I know. I agree. And then we had to take an Uber all the way from San Diego to L.A., which was very expensive. And we had a driver who talked the entire time. And I don't even remember what he talked about at this point, but it was terrible.

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20:18Ronnie Karam: So now, guess who's here, guys? Kiana. What a dork. this chick is such a lose okay so she comes in wearing sunglasses and refuses to take them off and then just like keeps pulling them down yeah she like keeps putting them on the tip of her nose look at people and then put some right back up so i'm thinking either she's just a weirdo or

20:41Ben Mandelker: she's just a day daytime cokehead what do you think she she is a weirdo um i feel like she's someone who saw modeling on tv and was like i'll be that i'll be gg i know i know how to do it because she obviously, she looks like a model. She's like a model for sure. She's not a model. But like her whole demeanor is so bonkers. With those sunglasses, she spends half the scene with them perched on the very tip of her nose. Like she's in a beer commercial from the 80s, like checking out like a hot girl in a bikini. And she's like, hey guys, like what's going on? I'm like, either take them off or keep them on.

21:14Ben Mandelker: But like this up and down, up and down was like driving me nuts. And she also sort of like came in with a vibe like, Like, hey, I've been part of this friend group for a long time. Like, she just was already up and big. And she's like, I'm here. Hey, everyone. Hi, I'm Kiana. Everyone go, okay, hi, what's going on? Okay, oh, my God, what a day, right, guys? I'm going to sit at the head of the table. That's where the models sit normally. Oh, my God. Oh, my God, there's my friend Naomi Campbell over there. Hi, hi. It's model talk, sorry. What's going on with you, not models?

21:46Ronnie Karam: Yeah, I was saying they're 16 years apart, which isn't that bad for LA. but you really see it in this scene. Because she's like, oh my God, hi, I'm a model. I'm in sunglasses. I'm in LA. I'm wearing sunglasses on the tip of my nose. Sorry, can't look at you guys. What, I got that at the table? Me, Karen, I'm the model. Hilarious, you guys. Hilarious. Yeah, I'm here in LA, but I'm also in New York. You guys totally travel all the time. Guess what? Traveling to London on Monday. That's right. Yeah, I'm at the head of the table. I'm flexing. I travel a lot. I'm a young model.

22:20Ben Mandelker: so where are you guys going oh san diego that's great i'm sure they have a huge uh high fashion scene um i'm going to like new york and london because like that's what models do oh my god it's like i just got back into town but like is it count as back into town if you already live here is you just like you're just in town all the time because your house represents you i don't

22:37Ronnie Karam: know it's crazy being a model yeah i'm like back and forth like once a week i live on tuesday and Janet says, oh, wow. So the miles, you must have a lot of miles. Am I right? Do you follow the points guy? Jason loves the points guy. We're best friends. How high is the hood over your stove? It's a joke I tell.

22:58Ben Mandelker: You're very tall. I don't think you could come to my house. You may have a head injury if you come to the kitchen. Yeah.

23:05Ronnie Karam: You're a model. You're a model. That's really cool. Do you have a ball pit in your house? No? Didn't think so.

23:15Ben Mandelker: so then zach is like um i wish i could be as cool as kiana i mean i don't know if i look good in glasses though like do i have it do i have it down like who are better me or kiana i wish i were skinny as her though but like whatever hey hey so kiana told how many dates have you guys been on have you been to buffalo wildlings yet because that's where all the supermodels go i

23:36Ronnie Karam: heard okay calm down relax over there crazy lady geez whoa yeah Brittany what are you a journalist or something well since I've known Tom for years and just seen like oh goody it just made me laugh like that this is so cute look at his face so give me so in love you got some love y 'all gonna have babies you're gonna have baby right now aren't you can't baby oh baby yeah and answer your question i'm a journalist for you're a cool guy quarterly so jason is you're a cool guy

24:10Ben Mandelker: you're a cool guy you're a cool guy you're a cool guy so uh zach is like tom how about you go get drinks at the front of the bar with kiana because the producer said we have to shoo you away he's like oh great so tom and kiana go to the bar and this was such a gratifying moment for me and i I think you know exactly why, because they sit on the bar stools at the bar. And Kiana's like, what the fuck? I'm a model. This is way too low. And he's like, oh, gosh, the only complaint we ever get here is that the stools are too low. And that is 100 % correct. The first time I went to TomTom, I sat on those bar stools.

24:55Ben Mandelker: and they are like, they're like chair height, not bar height. And bar height is a different height. Like a bar stool is higher than a chair, as I think we all know. For anyone who's ever sat on a stool versus a chair. And so when you sit on them, you literally, the bar comes up to your clavicle and you feel like you're in some like movie where there's an adult playing like a kid and they put them in a low chair so that way they look smaller. and I just remember like when you, you can't like rest your arms on the bar because it's so high up and you're like, what is going on here? And I love Tom sitting here saying, acknowledging it first and foremost, but then I got mad because I'm like, if this is the only complaint you get, and this bar has been open for almost seven years, if not more, why have you guys not changed your bar stools?

25:43Ben Mandelker: Like this is, you guys literally just renovated your entire bar. You opened up a whole second section of it and you can't get new bar stools i am like furious now because now you have acknowledged that you know about the problem and you're not doing anything about it get standard size bar stools enough already it's on purpose man that's why they don't get rid of it it's a

26:03Ronnie Karam: design choice because it's tom tom and every man needs to go into that bar and sit down and feel like a little boy because i'm just a boy i'm a total i want to be just a boy

26:16Ben Mandelker: i want to bring a booster seat next time i go into tom tom and he goes i'm sorry my friends

26:21Ronnie Karam: are so embarrassing she goes why this is like lmfao oh god when she said that i

26:31Ben Mandelker: I forgot. This is LMFAO. Oh, my God. So Tom's like, well, yeah, but people love the food. They love the drinks. They love the vibe. And they're like, why is the seat so low? Yeah, get a booster seat. Oh, my God. Ben on the podcast just said that. And now he's embarrassed. Like, yeah, I said the same thing, too. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. So then Tom's like, yeah, we'll get a phone booth. So they're just like bantering.

26:55Ronnie Karam: He's like, we'll get a phone book. But you don't even know what that is because you're just a little baby. So she's like, yeah, let's not go there And he says, cheers And she says, cheers, eye contact Hold on, let me pull down my glasses Yeah, eye contact, okay, they're back up They're back up now Yeah, they're all conspiring me to get set up on dates And everything, and I was just like Well, I do have a crush Okay

27:20Ben Mandelker: I can't believe I just said that A little crush, a little kindergarten crush Oh gosh

27:27Ronnie Karam: Oh my gosh, thank God you're not there I didn't say that to anybody. Oh, my God, you're there. Oh, my God, you're not there anymore. Oh, my God, you're there. Are you playing peekaboo with me? Could you please stop playing peekaboo? But that's what you're doing with your glasses, isn't it? Yeah.

27:43Ben Mandelker: And then she's like, oh, so what does your crush look like? Oh, she's tall. She's funny. She's ridiculously good looking. And her nose can really hold a good sunglass on it. Oh, wow. That sounds like me. Yeah. And she's got a rakish wit. oh well thank you I mean so we we so so we talked to no girls seriously oh no what what's happening gosh I haven't had this feeling in quite some time and I don't know there's a part of me that's like extra precious with this one cuz as we get older the girls stay younger remember that joke I don't want to fuck it up I don't know how many more chances I have it love well you have to first going to work out.

28:24Ben Mandelker: Take a chance at love to get a chance at love. I'm sure this is going to work out great. Yeah, this seems like a real chance at love. Kiana with the sunglasses.

28:34Ronnie Karam: Yeah, I was like, I guess we have a crush on each other. And she's like, yeah, I guess. She goes, well, I want you to know I'm strict. And he goes, yeah, you're strict. I love that. Alpha, I love that. I like a short leash. She's like, you like a short leash? Okay. Say less. You'll get a short leash. oh please Tom you do not like a short leash what are you talking about

28:56Ben Mandelker: fire this man from this show this is ridiculous fire this man it's just not interesting it's too annoying it's too stupid like just get him out like keep him as a friend of friend of is fine but like we do not need to see these scenes anymore this is a creative failure on part of on the part of Bravo and Alex Baskin and whoever else like the caterer everyone everyone involved the Uber driver who got him here everyone failed so now we go over to everyone, every single person. Kristen meeting up with Lacey and Nia at the costume store. First of all, this was so cruel because this store is on Hollywood Boulevard, which meant that they dragged all these people over to Hollywood for this scene.

29:38Ben Mandelker: Are there no costumes in the valley? I mean, it's a famous costume store for sure in the city, but poor Nia having to drive all the way down from Santa Clarita to go to this dingy part of Hollywood Boulevard. And you know she And you know, she was not, she walked in all smiling. She's like, well, cameras are on, got a smile. But you know, she was like, Daniel, they're making me walk on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. I'm scared.

30:00Ronnie Karam: She immediately covers the baby's face. It's like, I don't want the baby to see anything in here. I mean, cause there were scary things, but also it's a baby. I mean, that baby wakes up to Danny's face every day.

30:11Ben Mandelker: That baby's about to wake up to you guys having sex tonight, by the way, spoiler alert, according to the rest of the episode.

30:18Ronnie Karam: So Chris will get her baby sleeping. Well, probably not anymore. Jeez, Kristen.

30:22Ben Mandelker: The werewolf just ran into the back room.

30:24Ronnie Karam: Like, what was that? She's like, wow, this place is special, huh? But I guess we need costumes for San Diego. Because, you know, like, I don't know. I have a thing planned. It's going to be so fun. You know, because I was a beauty pageant girl. Well, so now first Lacey comes in before we figure out what's going on. And she's like, hi. Hi, everybody. Wow. I don't know if I'm even going to go to San Diego because I don't love spending time with people that I don't want to be around.

31:02Ben Mandelker: Well, that's understandable. You know, I understand what Janet. No, Jesse, I don't want to be around him.

31:10Ronnie Karam: Really? You didn't want to go so bad that you came all the way here from Newport? I guess she's probably staying with Jesse overnight or something. By the way, that's the other thing.

31:17Ben Mandelker: Like, I mean, even like Santa Clarita's farm, a new port to this stupid costume shop and just to get some tiaras. Excuse me. This is so cruel.

31:28Ronnie Karam: So is it Michelle? You don't want to be around? No, I find Michelle fine. Any issue I've had with Michelle in the past really derived, in my opinion. I thought she was going to say from Jesse because it's from Jesse. She's like, but it's from Janet because Jesse's told Michelle and Janet how badly it hurt my feelings. and Janet never even attempted to apologize, dot, dot, dot. So.

31:51Ben Mandelker: No. I'm sorry, that's a stretch. You cannot blame Janet for why you dislike Michelle. Like, that's crazy. It's Jesse. No, Michelle. Yeah, wait.

32:01Ronnie Karam: You can't blame Janet for the reason you've had problems with Michelle. Yeah, yeah, I see.

32:06Ben Mandelker: I'm sorry, you can't. Like, the thing was, you served a cease and desist to Janet and now you're going to be like, I don't want, like, I'm mad at her now. I mean, yeah, sure, you don't want Janet talking about you on TV, fine, but that can't be the reason why you have issues with Michelle. I'm sorry, that's not it. It's because Jesse has told you all the worst parts of Michelle, and now, though, you realize it behooves you to be nicer to Michelle, because Michelle's being a little nicer, and it's like a bad look. So it's just like, just throw it on to Janet, because she's like the punching bag.

32:37Ben Mandelker: Like, I mean, deservedly so, you know, not saying like, not literally deservedly so, but more like Janet causes a lot of shit. So a lot of people get annoyed at her. So like, I understand why people get annoyed. But I feel like this is a weird, this feels like a stretch even for this show.

32:55Ronnie Karam: I'm all for it. So Lacey's like, well, she was reaching out to people I know, like trying to find things out, Ben. See, so it's more than just what Michelle did. She was investigating me. it's weird to me when somebody has screenshots of like my hoa fees and there's reddit threads about me in her phone like i feel like she's looking for a smoking gun but my life is pretty transparent it's more like you should be spending your time in a in a more efficient way so like you're gonna need a little more spice here yeah you need to be like you need to spend more time fixing your low range. The smoking gun is in my

33:34Ben Mandelker: doomsday bunker, which I will never say where it is. Something. So, Nia is like, Lacey and I do have a lot in common. I don't really want to be around Janet ever for the rest of my life. So, Lacey says, it's more like that mean girl mentality of like, she just wanted to gang up on me and maybe I'll go, I don't know, maybe. and Chris goes, well, I would love for you to go and hang out with me. It's like, yeah, hang out with us. It'll be fun. Just the three of us having a big, fun personality time. Yeah, so much fun.

34:12Ronnie Karam: Come join us. That's these two. Lots of fun. Chris and Nia, lots of fun right now. So Michelle is packing for San Diego and everyone's packing. It's a packing scene. And Zach's like, oh my God, I'm so glad we got safari outfits for this trip. It's going to be amazing. uh and why are they acting like san diego is some glamorous faraway destination it's hilarious especially when michelle's like i cannot believe we are going to go to my home down of san diego everyone will see where i am from we've all been to san diego michelle

34:50Ben Mandelker: it is funny they really are acting like it's an exotic place to go to and it's like it's nice san Diego's nice, but you're not going to the Seychelles. So Nia is like, I really hope I can get, I hope we can get our daughter on the bottle before we leave. Yeah, because she's laughing because she thinks that's funny. She's saying, no, no, no, no safari park, right? Whatever. So they're just like packing, and Danny really wants to bring ripped jeans.

35:18Ronnie Karam: And she's like, ripped jeans are over. No, no ripped jeans. And then they show like 10 pictures of Danny only wearing ripped jeans everywhere he goes. I mean, listen, I love an actor wearing jeans with no material over the knees because it just shows how hard they work to get where they are. This is hard.

35:43Ben Mandelker: So now Kristen and Luke are packing and everything, and Luke is like, this is the time to wear my cargos, isn't it? See, I guess that's all he really needed was just to wear some cargo shorts once in a while. She's like, you could absolutely wear your cargos. You can't just bring a ton of t-shirts. You know, I'm bringing a ton of t-shirts. You bring your cargos. Let's go wild in San Diego.

36:03Ronnie Karam: Yeah. That's all the men want on this show is to just wear terrible pants. They're like, so we're on vacation. I get freedom to wear the terrible pants of my choice, right?

36:13Ben Mandelker: Yes, you do. So then she's like, by the way, did you hear any of the conversation with Zach yesterday? Cause we went to Tom Tom. So like, yeah, here's what happened. I said, how are you and Janet? And he was like, she's totally delusional. She thinks like we're best friends now. and he's like i don't trust her she's crazy cook all i mean yesterday zach calls me and he's like i'm not friends with janet and it's like zach if you're giving like her an inch she's gonna take a mile like what version are you giving her oh my god i can't believe that zach talked to janet she's like spiraling about this conversation she's like yeah he's being like really flip floppy

36:41Ronnie Karam: and she also told zach that she thinks her and i are good and i was like what the fuck planet

36:46Ben Mandelker: you live on janet fuck y 'all and you said like um like uh wait sorry sorry that was me doing my zach impersonation chris did you like it was very convincing yeah so um you said she said something about like a peace pipe um was there but there was no conversation yeah no like whatever like we both were like smoking weed it's like whoa wow we had something in common for like five minutes smoke weed like there's no peace pipe bitch jeez kristen just said if you give her an inch she'll take a mile you gave her a peace pipe or you gave her that was the inch yeah that was the inch

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38:42Ronnie Karam: so michelle and britney arrived at the train station and michelle's like oh my god i can't believe you have two suitcases that was a great britney impersonation michelle so

38:56Ben Mandelker: why are we both doing that today because we're deranged so i've never been here before that's

39:03Ronnie Karam: why i've never been to san diego this is so cool wait she's never been to san diego or she's never been to this no no she must mean this train station the train station i've never seen this little train station either right i i always go to the grand central thing yeah there's there's

39:16Ben Mandelker: one in the valley like if you want to get on the get on amtrak you don't have to go down to union station there is a place in the valley well but it's kind of funny because it's the one at um union station is like union station is this old historic building it's beautiful and it's just you walk in you're like in an old timey station and they shoot a lot of movies there you probably actually have seen it in one of your favorite movies maybe but then like then you go to like the where they have to go which is like i don't know i don't know if it's like burbank or like van nuys but they're just like standing next to gravel and just out there the sun beating down on them and they're all just sitting there on these like rusted over iron benches

39:59Ronnie Karam: and only brandy would be like this is so cool i love it how glamorous this is so cool um so yeah

40:09Ben Mandelker: they're just all waiting for that train and everyone arrives and they're all just just standing there with her bags and michelle's like it feels kind of strange but exciting to go back to where i grew up because i have a lot of great memories of my family living in san diego so it's super cool that we get to go to san diego and people get to see a little piece of me and i'm excited for when i get them all on the pummel horse uh who's never been on a train before

40:35Ronnie Karam: anybody i've been on one in canada but never this one wait we're in canada

40:46I'm sorry

40:48Ben Mandelker: What a funny distinction to make Has anyone ever been on a train I went on one of those Canadian trains But they're not the same as American trains Is that Kristen's

41:00Ronnie Karam: Nightners that she is bringing with her Yeah it's Kristen's friend but she's really good with the baby So she's gonna come She's gonna come with us You should have like a drink on the train Michelle she's like you can drink on the drain yeah you could do anything you want on a train

41:16Ben Mandelker: airport rules yes airports the place known where the place that i famously think of as a rule-less space when i go to an airport i go finally no more rules at the airport

41:33Ronnie Karam: so um jesse is asking kristin how she is just stressed i mean it's just hard to be with like the baby and all this stuff and making sure she's happy and then you know she should have been down for enough like 45 minutes ago jesus christ everyone knows i'm anxious when i travel and

41:49Ben Mandelker: i'm kind of a hot mess express and for this trip have a baby so then we see uh some classic shots of kristen being a mess on vanderpump rules i wish they had shown her falling over in the lobby of that hotel or her chomping on the flower she picked from a traffic median after she fell down

42:07Ronnie Karam: in the median she fell down in the median and came back eating a flower yeah they missed an opportunity here for sure so uh lacy is coming but she's going to be driving guys because it doesn't make sense to go from newport to burbank to the train you know so she's willing to go from newport to the costume shop to newport to burbank to the train but you know this just really fucked it up i feel like she should have just got on couldn't she boarded the train from orange

42:36Ben Mandelker: county because it's going to go through there right pick it up in san juan capistrano get wild

42:43Ronnie Karam: maybe that's maybe that's what he's saying i don't know so um they all get on the train and the conductor i guess they're like getting some kind of influence or whatever for this train because they really sell the train the conductor's like good morning it's train 770 southbound pacific surf line service in the glamorous San Diego. Welcome aboard. Look out the window at the gorgeous scenery as we choo-choo past Los Angeles.

43:17Ben Mandelker: Smoke bomb. Was there ever a conductor here in the first place? Hey, where'd that person go? Just Lisa doing illusions. So Tom's like, Jesse, don't fall asleep yet. Nobody's falling asleep. let him fall asleep so he doesn't talk and Zach is like oh my god like this is what like I'm living for on vacation Michelle like snarky Michelle and then Danny is he tells us he goes yeah trips have definitely changed before children when me and I would go on trips there's not much responsibility we have the freedom to do whatever we want whenever we want and that's just not the case when you've got kids also it's a time when you can get drunk and she won't get mad as mad as you.

43:59Ben Mandelker: So I'm ready to get boozing, okay? If I don't get to that alcohol shoot enough, I'm gonna get real cranky. Okay, everyone, yes.

44:07Ronnie Karam: Hey, Danny, Danny, would you hold her for a little minute so I can eat and then I'll take her? And he's like, well, I'm gonna go get a coffee. Well, do you wanna put her in her carrier then? I'm gonna go down and get a coffee. Did you hear me? Oh, hell no. Excuse me, sir, excuse me. no one asked you to have 30 000 children you can help your wife and take the fucking kid with you why is it her responsibility to hold that thing all the time you're the one who put in the request

44:36Ben Mandelker: for this child by the way we saw we saw you put the slot in the suggestion box and say i'd like another baby and she said i don't want to have another baby and you pushed it you pushed for the baby and for santa clarita and now you don't even want to hold the baby for one second there

44:52Ronnie Karam: There was a comment saying that she was the one that wanted to have the baby and that we're forgetting our history. I think that they both wanted another baby, but she was saying, if we're going to have another baby, we need to have it now because I want my body back. I don't want to wait a couple of years. Like, we're going to have it right now if we're going to have this baby. It's not as fun. But still, you guys could have slowed down. You guys made the choice. You did this, Danny. This is your sperm grown up and snotting all over her all fucking day. You can do this.

45:22Ben Mandelker: and he is still asking for babies because he wants a brother for Asher as if like you can just do that. You can just request the gender necessarily. So I guess you kind of can, but like I think the way they're doing it, I don't, that's, they're doing it like old fashioned.

45:37Ronnie Karam: You can't do it the cheap way. Yeah, you can't do it the cheap way for sure.

45:41Ben Mandelker: But the point is that - You have to bring science into it,

45:43Ronnie Karam: which I don't know that we believe in. So I'm just going to say that right now.

45:46Ben Mandelker: He cares more about holding that coffee than he does about holding that baby. And like there's a million other friends on the bus or on the train, you can have someone else get you your coffee. But maybe he wants to get coffee with a little spike in it, you know, off camera. But he gives her a whole lot of attitude. And I was like, this is it. I'm telling you, Dark Eye Danny, be careful. Be careful with this man.

46:10Ronnie Karam: That's what they called him last year, right? Dark Side Danny. So Janet's like, I think this weekend we should bunk together, me and Zach. What about a Jack and Jill bathroom situation? Zach because we're best friends now, right? We can come see each other in the morning. It's going to be so funny because the first thing that I see when I wake up in the morning cannot be your face.

46:33Ben Mandelker: But like, how good of an idea is this? Like, you want a big birthday party? It's like the same week as Jason and Danny and Schwartz. So we could do like a Zach and the three unwise men party and he could be like Jesus in this situation too. And Jasmine's like, oh great, love it even more. And Zach's like, um, do you see what she's doing right here? Do you see how she's doing this like oh no i'm just planning a birthday party because they told me like the best friends always plan the birthday party zach it's like stop it stop saying we're best friends okay baby steps baby steps they're called baby stops and you're like olympic jumping right now

47:04Ronnie Karam: so kristen's all pissed off and she's like oh my god i did not know that that many people on the

47:09Ben Mandelker: train are dying for attention this is classic kristen where she's like very mad about a social dynamic so janet she's mad at somebody you're supposed to be mad at somebody with her and if

47:23Ronnie Karam: you are not as mad as she is about the person she is going to lose her shit on you it's christian

47:28Ben Mandelker: it's classic that's what she's always been always been for over 10 years so then uh janet's asking zach and benji if they want to have babies and zach's like yo it's like a non-negotiable for bungee like yeah and like it's great because he can take care of both me and the child like it's like two kids it's fine jack goes oh my god just let me know when you need a uterus stop stop offering your uterus out disgusting i didn't want to think about it i just saw kristen's vagina last

47:56Ronnie Karam: week and jason's like yeah could we could we not maybe offer your uterus to every gay you're trying to impress okay that would be nice well i'm sure i'm just not sure if zach's ready for me to be planning his birthday but he's probably probably also not ready for me to carry his child but a girl can dream right hilarious janet funny janet on the scene so jesse's like um are you

48:19Ben Mandelker: guys best friends now yeah we're best best friends oh i'm so mad at this oh so then jack is like i can feel kristen's dust there like the eye of siren is on the side so it's siren siren not siren and just like staring directly at me into my soul like oh you shall not pass

48:38Ronnie Karam: to san diego so kristen and neer are watching this what is happening well he won't look at me i mean look he won't even make eye contact because he knows it's just such a different tune on the phone than than he was singing on the phone 24 hours ago it's not really though i mean he's telling her stop pretending we're best friends we're supposed to be taking baby steps what is this supposed to do he's trying to be polite kristen okay no seriously 24 hours ago he was

49:05Ben Mandelker: singing a totally different tune. I believe it went something like this. Cause baby you're a firework. I was like stop it. Stop singing Katy Perry to me.

49:15Ronnie Karam: 24 hours ago he was telling me how fucking crazy she is that she could ever think that they're friends. Wow this is really bonkers. You know what Zach? I actually really like you. I'm so glad we're best friends now. I cannot. Hey Zach we're talking about you. Okay I'm gonna go back and my five minutes away from the baby is over. So I'm going to go back over there.

49:40Ben Mandelker: Don't say one thing, Zach, and then do another. I'm not. Your conversation with me yesterday was polar opposite of this. You're making choices on your own. You are. I told you there's consequences for all your choices and repercussions for your actions. And so Kristen's, I mean, Jan's like, it's entertaining though, right? She's like, no, say what you mean. Mean what you say. That's all.

50:01Ronnie Karam: Oh God. So now they get to San Diego and they go to their rental. And, you know, they're getting out of the car. It's typical, like, parents getting out of the car. Okay, I'm going to go with the baby. And then, Daniel, can you get everything? He's like, God damn it. So Jesse's like, uh-oh, housewives, housewives room fight. So he runs in to find – Zach and Jesse run in to find their rooms. That's not really fair when people are carrying babies.

50:26Ben Mandelker: It's not fair at all. and I feel like Jesse's getting a real pass with the villain edit this season because he's really not getting a villain edit. He's just sort of getting an average edit. But like Jesse is a villain, people. Do not forget this. And so he goes in and he takes the biggest room in the house, even though this is Michelle's trip that she planned. So Michelle's like, hold on, Jesse. No, you cannot take that room. You can't take this room by yourself. And he's like, ah, it's not myself. Lacey's coming. And so then Lala comes and she goes, are you kidding me are you okay like okay this is no no this you cannot take this room no no

51:04Ronnie Karam: we're taking this room i love a bathtub yeah so it's our room he's like no you're not yes it is i'm taking it he's like well good luck with that and i'm just like we're taking this room jesse okay i need a bedroom that i'm accustomed to which is like he's like well i need a bedroom that i'm accustomed to they're fighting meanwhile this house is kind of a dump can we just be honest it's large it's not a cute house they're fighting over a bathroom that was like last touched in the 80s she's like i need something that i'm accustomed to yeah and um they're just

51:37Ben Mandelker: like they're all arguing and basically jesse will like not refuse to leave this room but lala's just like no you've got to go you can't go like i'm moving in i'm moving in i can't wait it'll be so fun it's like it will be fun and i'm not leaving this room so you guys can go wherever you want And it's like, well, Michelle and Ike, well, I can't be here with you guys. So you're just going to have to deal with it. And basically Lala's like, yeah, I'm going to – Michelle doesn't have the stamina to deal with this bullshit, but I do. And he's not going to win.

52:06Ronnie Karam: So there's one house with Kristen, Luke, Danny, and Nia. That's the baby house. Jasmine and Melissa have their own little suite, like honeymoon suite in the back. and the main house is going to be everybody else. So Jason's like, wow, this place is bigger on the inside than on the outside. It's like huge in here. So now we see me and Danny talking behind a closed door and she's like, please come all the way in and close the door. He's like, hey, could you put Adelaide down for me? He's like, what do you mean put Adelaide down? She's tired. She's ready to sleep. So could you put her down? He's like, God, what happened?

52:45Ben Mandelker: yeah i talked at this idea he's like he's like pissed but he has to put down his child that's his child his so then uh in the other other uh house jesse is now like given up so now he's like he's pretending like he doesn't realize there's other rooms he's like oh wait there's another room okay i can go in there so he moves out of that room that he's being a dick about and then they start like talking about tequila and like getting drinks ready and let's do some shots and everything. And then we go back down to Nia. And Nia is like eating a sandwich in this, in her house. And Danny comes out with Adelaide and he's like, Nia!

53:23Ben Mandelker: Nia! Oh my gosh! She's like, what? I need a swaddle. I'm like, you need a muzzle is what you need around your face. No kidding.

53:33Ronnie Karam: You need a spanking. You need a switch on the back of your butt is what you need. And she's like, well, where's our suitcase? I keep getting her, I can't, I keep getting her down but i need a swaddle and every time i get her down her eyes are waking up because i don't

53:46Ben Mandelker: have a swaddle do you not know how to open up your briefcase or your suitcase broken like what

53:52Ronnie Karam: the fuck dude yeah go get it and it's it's annoying because she said when they were getting on the train can you hold the baby while i eat something really quick and then he refused to do it so he could go so did she not get to eat something because now she's trying to shove

54:06Ben Mandelker: down a sandwich yeah i think she was like i don't remember if she was eating on the on the train or not but she definitely had her hands full on that train and by the way every time we see mia there's a baby attached to her boob because this is what she's doing all the time she is like full-time feeding this human and then like for one second she wants to feed herself and like have like a little sandwich and danny's like oh gosh where's the swaddle i can't even get her to go to sleep where's the swaddle it's like open your stupid bag and find it or ask nicely and be like hey sorry to interrupt do you know where the swaddle is because the baby keeps on waking up

54:47Ronnie Karam: and just the whole situation because she's sitting with a sandwich and then she puts her ear pods in her air pods in to just try and have five minutes you know like you have no time she's like okay i'm gonna take this five minutes and really just like try and have a moment to myself put some air pods and eat a sandwich. God damn it, we're swaddle. This guy's a piece of shit. So he tells us, I'm wondering why Nia's put me in this situation when we have a babysitter. So, you know, that's where the frustration is. You know, what's the point of bringing a babysitter here if we're not going to let the babysitter sit the baby?

55:19Ben Mandelker: No, that's not the point of frustration. The point of frustration is that everyone else is up in the main house doing shots and you're down here and you're not doing shots and you're jealous and you want to be part of it and you want to get drunk. and that's exactly where his annoyance is coming in right now. I guarantee it. And in fact, we know it because later on, he sort of says something to that effect.

55:37Ronnie Karam: So she comes in with the swaddle and he's like, oh God, you're eating a sandwich? She's like, well, I'm sorry that you're mad at me for eating food, not checking in when I've tried to put her down three times and her eyes keep popping up when I put her down. Okay, well, thank you for that. Wow, thank you. He's like, you're welcome. Oh God, this guy is such an asshole. Danny, oh, what are you doing? You are such an idiot. You had the audience like supporting you last year and all this shit against Janet. And what do you do? You just come shit it all away. What a dummy. Yeah, no, he's a brat.

56:08Ben Mandelker: He's a little brat. I mean, honestly, the way he is acting is not unlike the way Jax acted to Britney. Sorry. I'm not saying it's the same degree, but I should say the way he talks to Nia is the way that Jax would talk to Britney. And it was unacceptable then. And to me, it's unacceptable now. so Michelle is upstairs is like you know what I am like deathly afraid of birds like since I was a little girl what are you afraid of Tom oh I'm afraid of mayonnaise because by the way they're at like a petting zoo that's on this property like looking at an alpaca or something or a llama and she goes shut up mayonnaise I am I have a phobia of it it just seems like something that would come out of a pimple or something and people put on their sandwich and spread around it's gross and they just do a hard cut to kristin's squirting mayo all over a sandwich like a ton of it she's like i just want to lay

57:10Ronnie Karam: down well 9 30 is the best like best case scenario so like if you're fine staying with there she'll be happier in bed before then um so they're just telling the nanny how to take care of the kid and stuff and so kristin's like i don't want to go because i'm like bleeding out everywhere after you have a baby and you have your first period it's possible that you like gush and i'm gushing okay so it's called mommy diapers and not feeling like the hottest version of myself

57:36Ben Mandelker: right now so i feel bad at christine she really is going through it she's i feel bad that she has to like go through this and know that she's like on camera and has to like sort of be on you know i mean part of it is that she is sharing her journey and her experience and i think it's actually pretty helpful for someone like me who doesn't know a lot about these things. But I also feel bad because I'm sure she probably just wants to be inside and recuperate and heal and come back up to speed before she goes back on camera. She's like, I'm in a baby diaper right now. I'm bleeding. I'm miserable.

58:14Ben Mandelker: I'm unhappy. I've got a camera in my face. Caw-caw.

58:18Ronnie Karam: Yeah. She's like, God, stupid, ginormous, bloated elephant with terrible cramps. So now Brittany's taking a video to send to her And she's like Hey sis I just wanted you to know when you were leaving Nia says you need to be a little bit more Time so we'll just meet you there love you Take time feel better So they all leave

58:40Ben Mandelker: By the way that video Brittany's like little video to Kristen It was like a cameo like she clearly went into Cameo mode she was like hey Kristen Love to see you I'm a big I love that happy birthday I hope you're having a great time. I'm so glad you watched the show. We will be going to the amusement park. We will see you there. And thanks again for watching. I'm like, just text your friend saying, catch you at the amusement park.

59:05Ronnie Karam: So they leave and Nia and Danny wait for Kristen and Luke. And so Nia's like, well, car's out front. All right, Nia. Well, we can't put her in until Kristen's ready to walk out the door. I mean, I can't do that to her. He's like, oh, God, we'll just go and set up in there. No, because she'll start crying. Like, it has to be the last second, Danny.

59:27Ben Mandelker: Yeah, so, like, because they know that, like, Kristen is still so, like, emotional. She basically is trying to be a good friend to Kristen. And Danny, all he wants to do is get in that car, join up with everyone else, and start drinking. And so Nia's like, I feel like there are certain times where Daniel and I just aren't really attuned as much as I'd like us to be. and yeah, I just don't know. I feel off with it. So they finally get to the car and Nia's like, do you know how to rodeo a cow? And he's like, oh my gosh, it's called Lasso, dude. I mean, come on, please hop with the car sheet. It's like, bro, she's just trying to bring some levity to this tense situation.

1:00:09Ronnie Karam: I hate him. So now they go to Belmont Park and Tom's like, wow, for me, belmont park is the quintessential park you imagine i remember going to as a child so i'm so excited to share this with everyone because i don't think everyone else has been here belmont park so um jesse's like oh my god look how ratchet that ride is so i was like my childhood memories jesse's like what is this place put together with fucking tape i'm not going on these rides yeah so they are but they decide that they're going to go on

1:00:46Ben Mandelker: this roller coaster and Jesse's like, no, I'm going to stay back and be the lone survivor. I'm not terrified over roller coasters. I am terrified of heights. Never been able to overcome it. I don't know what it is. And I don't care if you call me a little bitch because I am a little bitch. Even though my hair may look like a roller coaster, I will not go on one. Oh, poor little

1:01:04Ronnie Karam: guy. So they want to do it again. They have the best time on the brother thing. So Kristen and Nia get to the park and Danny's like, Nia, get the diaper bag. Obviously, Daniel, I hate him. Just run. Can we just have a ride where we pound Danny in the head over and over again? Just get, just give everybody whiffle bats or something and let them just start hitting him in the head. Cause he is terrible.

1:01:29Ben Mandelker: Yeah, he is. He really is awful. And I, I'm, I guarantee this is the true Danny, you know, on the reunion. He was like, yeah, it was just a rough day. I was really going through it and it's not my best. and we all mess up sometimes. And I wasn't there for my wife and I do apologize, but you know, what can I say? I'm human and I'm a work in progress. I'm doing the best I can. And sometimes you just have an off day. You'll say that verbatim at the reunion, but I'm going to say he is an actor. And I think he's been very presentational to all of us. And, uh, I think, I think this is more of who he really is.

1:02:01Ben Mandelker: I really do. So he's trying to,

1:02:04Ronnie Karam: Nia's trying to, you know, be positive to like get him in a good mood. So she's like, Oh my God, Daniel, I'm so excited. We're going to go on every single ride. And he just ignores her. Did you even hear me? Of course I did. Well, would you do that ride? Hell no. Imagine what your boobs would be doing in that. Probably falling out. Ha ha, right? Wow, I'm so excited to get time away from our kids. Yeah. This is so fun. Oh, there's Zach. He's trying to say hi to us. Let's go to... I didn't see Zach because I'm focused on being with you on a roller coaster. Nothing else And I feel like maybe you're being a little critical of me No, I just feel like you're being performative, Nia Okay?

1:02:46Ben Mandelker: Literally, this is how my natural demeanor is without children Because I'm always with kids Well, we're not doing that What you want to do? What would you like to do? She's like, I want to go on a roller coaster Well, where's the roller coaster, bro? Just like look up Like you normally have to do So Nia's like She's like, that's right there And he's like, okay. But where's the entrance, though? I'm with you. I don't know. Honey, I don't know where I'm going. I was just looking for a ride. I know. But you were, like, running, trying to be, like, a fine thing. So I'm just following you. I've never been here before.

1:03:21Ben Mandelker: So don't put it on me. I'm like, he is being such a fucking little twist.

1:03:26Ronnie Karam: He's literally the worst. And so then, so it's really awkward. And then she starts doing this thing where she's, like, trying to appease him, like, being even nicer. and it's making me fucking crazy. She's like, oh my love, I just want to reiterate that my demeanor when I don't have children, which you never see in me in that space, but this is just my natural demeanor. I'm not being fake or performative. Oh God. But then he... Just walk away from him. Just fucking walk away from him. Don't try to appease this little loser. It's just making me nuts.

1:04:00Ben Mandelker: And then they turn a corner and she's like, oh wow, should we see if the others want to join us. It looks like they're just eating. And he goes, they're not eating, they're drinking. And he says it in a way like, see, they're having fun. They're doing the, this is what I've been waiting to do. Like, look what we've been missing out on. They're not just sitting there eating hot dogs, they're drinking. And we've just been wandering around, not drinking. Thanks a lot. I think that's like, that's what I took from the tone of his voice. And the fact that he made that strange delineation between what they were doing.

1:04:33Ben Mandelker: I was like, you are mad that you were not drinking. Now he will do this whole thing of like, I have a high stress job, I'm doing so much and I don't feel good about drinking. Yeah, well, this is what he said every year. You know, I've been really good about not drinking and so this is a vacation. It was a time for me to release and I really wanted to and instead we're sticking around the thing. And I get that. I know the frustration of like, you just want to get to the fun time on a group trip or something and you're stuck because someone's taking a long time or someone had to like, broke their car broke down.

1:05:02Ben Mandelker: You're sitting there twiddling your thumbs. You just want to be with the group. You want to be with the group. You want to be with the group. But like, ultimately he just wants to get shit faced. And, and he's been trying. I feel like he's been trying to put on this whole persona. Like, well, I'm not fine. I'm fine. I'm like, he's, I've always felt like he was a bad drunk. And he's, it's always like an excuse. Like, I'm not a bad drunk. I'm just, you know, I'd like to release once in a while. And I'm like, I don't know. I just think this guy is, I think this guy's fake and I think he's up to no good.

1:05:35Ronnie Karam: This guy sucks for sure. So she's like, yeah, Danny, you know, I mean, I'm just happy to be with you and I have kids on me. Don't you remember me before children? You know, I'm not being extra. I'm just being the OG me. And he goes, well, I certainly can't wait to see OG you tonight. She's like, oh, geez, stop. So of course he's like going to be an asshole and they'll be like, i get to fuck you tonight right yeah exactly oh so um she's like uh no the baby's sleeping in our room he goes no she ain't and lala's like send us sexy times he goes oh yes there's gonna be yeah you're being real fucking charming danny god well because in his mind he thinks he deserves it all jesus for what he hasn't done one thing without bitching about it all day long oh well

1:06:19Ben Mandelker: that's his thing is that like i had to do this i had to do this and instead of like having fun with the friends and getting drunk. I missed out on all of it. So yeah, what you owe me is that you owe me sex because I missed out on my fun times, which is like so demented that he would think that. Like, why would you think you would ever deserve sex after you've been so rude and so nasty and so passive aggressive to your wife who's been taking care of your child this entire time?

1:06:43Ronnie Karam: Sex is not a right. It's a privilege, sir. That's right. And you are not earning it. so now um lacy arrives yay it's about to get real fun nia this is when danny go on the roller coaster and everyone plays games and checks and checks out the beach and stuff when lacy arrives this is when

1:07:03Ben Mandelker: i noticed something about zach zach goes to hug lacy and i realized oh zach hugs like a toddler because he goes over and he sticks like one hand like up and then one hand down and just like walks to you with his hands stretched out like oh that's how toddlers come in for a hug

1:07:29Ronnie Karam: So Lala, Tom, Michelle and Britt are all hanging out talking. And Michelle's like, this is my first dime. I'm on my own again since working with Jesse. We were a team for almost 10 years, but a lot of people would not work with us because they did not like him, but they liked me. And now I do not have that problem. And I'm selling real estate without Jesse driving me down. so she's talking about how her business is going really well and she's doing well and so they ask tom how he's doing and he's just so happy because i'm hanging out with someone i really enjoy spending time with again oh and yesterday we were hanging out and she was like are you going to still be hooking up with other people and i was like i'm not planning on it because she asked you that because well maybe i said it okay it's a revision it was me it was me just put them on the ferris wheel press play and then just throw away the key just just can we just keep him up there

1:08:23Ben Mandelker: going around in circles while we do the rest of the show i just i can't i i'm just so deeply

1:08:27Ronnie Karam: uninterested in his storylines yeah i mean really all of them right now i'm like what is this it's just like watching people be depressed with babies like what are they doing in an amusement park which

1:08:41Ben Mandelker: is what's so funny about it i don't really i'm enjoying it i don't know it's not as riveting as the past seasons but i'm oddly enjoying this season uh but i know everyone else can't stand it

1:08:51Ronnie Karam: it's depressing it is a depressing dark season for sure oh god so then um michelle's like well um what did you say what did you say he's like you look so fine right now that's not what you're saying no i was like listen i love hanging out with you and then i was like are you still planning on dating or like hooking up with other people or i don't know and then we were both like coyly like I won't if you won't and then I was like what does that mean are we dating like oh my god I'm like smoother in person guys but like it probably seems like abrupt but like it's actually been like a year and a half since I dated anyone a lot of people say the same thing to me about

1:09:29Ben Mandelker: Brandon but I've known him for like almost 20 years so that's not like my giggly way of saying shut the fuck up I'm not making mistakes he's my boyfriend so Lola's like um why is nobody single

1:09:40Ronnie Karam: with me except Michelle. It's like ridiculous. And so Lala's like, yeah, it's like you're very open to getting married. Like you want to have kids and you don't want to be an old dad's. And so like the best two relationships have been like with girls in their mid to late 20s. So are you thinking about that once?

1:09:56Ben Mandelker: And Janet's like, yeah. Has she given any indicators if she feels like she wants to be a mom or like Zach's best friend? And he's like, um, well she was my friend before we started dating and she's like, yeah, I want to have kids by the time I'm 30. I believe I'm, I believe even love. I really do. I'm a romantic, but I'm like, every relationship I've been in so far started similar and like didn't work out. And I've been surrounded by so much divorce. I'm just like, is every relationship just going to be like three or four years and then five years and then just be done? And Lala goes, probably.

1:10:26Ben Mandelker: Yeah.

1:10:28Ronnie Karam: Do not say that Lala. I mean, I think that do sometimes, but Michelle, I was going to ask you, aren't you scared? It happened to you. I mean, you got to the point you were finally ready and you opened yourself up to that coke that coke dealer and then

1:10:46let me see a flashback to aaron yeah so i'm just scared i'm a little boy who's scared to get to

1:10:54Ben Mandelker: that point and have it like not work out again but i know you can't live your life in fear even though that's the only way i have lived my life oh my god the only thing i'm the only thing i'm afraid of is women i'm dating aging you're okay schwarfs everyone loves you and you know what we just want to see you happy oh yeah janet what do you think yeah same thing we just want to see you happy and doing all the things you want in life because you deserve the world you deserve the world because you've done absolutely nothing to deserve to deserve anything and you just coast on pretty privilege so here have something else on this liver platter yeah don't be scared you

1:11:32Ronnie Karam: ain't gonna end up like me okay if that's what you're worried about because i'm a bad bitch and i'm taking care of my house and my son and everything by myself i'm good okay anyone want some leftover buffalo dip i brought some so then we go to now we go to like actually

1:11:51Ben Mandelker: pretty serious sort of coda for the episode michelle and lala go out on the beach it's pretty serious it's actually a remarkably moving scene where they talk about losing their like what it's like to lose a parent because michelle lost her mom six months prior and lala lost her father seven years earlier and so basically the episode ends with michelle sharing memories of her mother and what it's like to be in this fresh stage of grief and the show really treats it very sensitively and very beautifully and very kindly and they really spend a lot of time kind of being um pensive like they show like a lot of images and videos of michelle's mom in a way that we really have not seen before when cast members have gone through something like this and i basically was like crying i was like i was literally crying i was like so moved by it and i was so sad and i I thought it was actually a really touching, beautiful scene, but for both women and on that sunset on the beach, it was like, there was nothing funny to say about it.

1:12:58Ben Mandelker: It just like, I was literally moved to tears. Yeah, it was sad. And then we get a preview for next week and it's Danny being an asshole.

1:13:07Ronnie Karam: So we have that to look forward to. Back to it. Back to it.

1:13:12Ben Mandelker: Back to it.

1:13:12Ronnie Karam: All right, everybody. Well, thanks so much for being with us today. We will be back a little bit later with some Southern Hospital. We'll talk to you next time. Bye.

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