#3366 The Valley S3E07 Part Two: Drag Him!

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0:37Ronnie Karam: Amazon Health AI presents Painful Thoughts. I, um, I can't stop scratching my downtown.

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0:57Ronnie Karam: There's no question too embarrassing for Amazon Health AI. Chat your symptoms and get virtual care 24-7. Healthcare just got less painful.

1:33Ronnie Karam: Watch What Crappens This is part two of a two-part recap. If you're like, hey, wait a minute, I didn't hear part one. Guys, it's because we put out a lot of recaps. Go back and listen to part one, okay? It's before this one. Bye. Enjoy the show.

1:49Ben Mandelker: Now it's 9.30. Everyone's back at the house. And Jasmine's saying, oh, my God, I miss all the drama, whatever. And Jesse is saying, it's hard not to be mean. I'm just surrounded by mean energy all the time. and then Lacey and Jesse are like putting stuff away in their closet and it's uh she's never heard of an accordion closet I believe and so that's a new thing that she learns about she's like what

2:18Ronnie Karam: even is that that's stupid and it's like wow this this one this one so uh Jesse's like okay you know he's trying to play nice and she's like you need to say sorry for that entrance because you're like whiny like uh you're giving me the ick he's like okay let's get you settled in he's talking to her like a little kid he's like okay get out of your fancy dinner dress she's like don't touch me I still have the ick

2:43Ben Mandelker: and meanwhile Janet's in a room with Michelle and Brittany and some other women and Janet is like she's in this now she's in this like barco lounge or thing this massage chair and she's like oh my god she said six girls were ganging up on her all at once nobody was ganging up on her yeah she said a year ago i said to her i knew that you auditioned for the housewives get

3:07Ronnie Karam: off uh that shit no she's like i can't get off this chair squeezing my feet this is what i mean what does she even care what i think i'm like a fan of hers you know and michelle's like if anybody was ganging up on somebody it was her ganging up on me the way that she game alone at me that is a gang up amen and the only thing you know i said the only thing i don't like is that you sent my friend a legal letter. And Lala's like, well, has she apologized to you for that?

3:36Ben Mandelker: No, never. And then Janet is now like, the chair is like tilting her up, like doing like, like an overhead leg extension or something like that. Janet's like, oh no, oh my God, I'm doing an extend. Oh no, it's stretching me out. Oh my God. Oh my God. I can't breathe. Oh my God. I can't breathe. It's hilarious.

3:58Ronnie Karam: So Zach and Luke are chatting outside. and luke's like oh man why does she have to go so dark bro oh shut up luke um i'm just like

4:08Ben Mandelker: concerned because like kristen seemed like she was in a very negative headspace because like i know kristen's just like going through so many things so like what happened today vango and he's

4:17Ronnie Karam: like well you know it's being parents of a three months old and we're first time parents and you know sometimes she just gets to the point where she takes things out on people that she loves Yeah, you and me. You and me both. And he starts crying. Luke's like, yeah, that's us. And I just want to feel respected and loved. And I don't get that.

4:38Ben Mandelker: And Luke is like, the constant criticism is hurtful. Well, you're engaged to Kristen Doty and you chose this path. And it sticks with me and it makes me question, am I a good dad? Am I failing Kristen? Am I even a good person? The answer is no, yes, no.

4:54Ronnie Karam: I was going to say, I'm questioning those things too. and I'm not even you.

4:59Ben Mandelker: So he's like, I just want things acknowledged that she doesn't mean them. Like she just, she just tell me like I snapped and lost my mind, but regardless, I shouldn't have said those things that I'm sorry and I love you and I want to live with you the rest of my life and I love our daughter together. Just whatever, you know, in our first night out, dude, it was like our first night out and first time out, both leaving Kaya. We got into a fight. It's like, yeah. Yeah, I know that.

5:20Ronnie Karam: So sorry, go ahead, man.

5:22Ben Mandelker: You got into a fight because she asked you to like come home and not pass out on the sofa, and you did. And she was mad at you. You had to fight because you did things that she requested you not to do.

5:35Ronnie Karam: She's getting mad because what's more important to you is going out and getting shit-faced when you have stuff to do and then acting like she's a bitch from hell when she asks for some help. I saw this video the other day, this TikTok, of this guy. It's this guy going, straight guys I see. And he's just, all the guy does is roll his eyes It's like a reaction video. And he's showing all these videos of women walking with like a stroller, two babies, a bag, a tent, a stork on her head, trying to find a place at the beach. And then the husband's just walking behind her, carrying nothing, you know, looking around.

6:11Ronnie Karam: Or then you see like a woman putting five kids in the car, you know, and then, you know, typing out their taxes and then, you know, playing a bugle and then, you know, like changing the oil on the car. And the man's just sitting in the front seat, like getting air conditioned. that's what the guys on this show remind me of and then they're like what what why can't i just get some respect what are you doing yeah exactly how are you helping in this situation what are you really contributing yeah that gives a monologue and he's like you know and like you guys like i don't know why i'm crying you should be crying but like you know like god knows she's she's trying you know but she needs you to support her and you are everything she needs at the moment when she needs it, but you're such a good person and you're so good to Kristen.

6:54Ronnie Karam: I'm like the best parent to Kaya and that's all that matters. Oh my God. Am I running spray town down my face?

7:01Ben Mandelker: It's just been a long time since I felt the appreciation of what you just said about me. And that's not something I hear. There are like times I feel like I'm fighting for us and she's fighting against me and that's it. That's all there is to it. Because never thought there was that potential that I'd be in a really dark place when I have a newborn baby with Kristen. Like that's not something I've ever considered, but like with Kristen, it's like, okay. Okay. The point Zach, I mean, Luke, you just got to get over it. I'm sorry. Help your wife out. Help your wife. Okay. Yeah. I think this would be different if we saw Luke like carrying around the baby,

7:36Ronnie Karam: carrying in the stuff, doing this, doing everything. And then Kristen just constantly berating him, but that's not what we're seeing. We're seeing all the complaints we're seeing of Luke is I can't go fishing when I want to. I can't go get shit faced when I want to. uh she doesn't feel good well how am i supposed to know what it's like in her body i guess i'll just stay here and get shit faced with everybody else you know that's all we're seeing from you luke so if we're only seeing a fraction of what she's seeing so god help her yeah um so uh then

8:07Ben Mandelker: we see people doing various things tom texts kiana like love you so much have a safe flight you know she's like has her sunglasses on on the plane like oh my god just got a text from tom oh Oh my God, I'm a model. And then Jesse's checking to see if Kristen's okay. And then Brittany is FaceTiming Brandon. And then like a whole bunch of people are in the kitchen hanging out. So Jason is like, hey, are you guys talking shit over there? He's like, no, we are just recapping. And Jason's like, yeah, well, you were kind of like at a 10 for no reason. Like, I don't know where, sort of, that's a whole thing, bro.

8:40Ben Mandelker: He's like, I wasn't at a 10. Oh yeah. Oh really? We go into 11. And so Zach's like, wait, wait, wait, hey, apologize right now. Apologize. You guys apologize.

8:50Ronnie Karam: Okay, well, if you want an apology, then you don't meet somebody at the door with like, hey, crazy guy. That's not how you greet. Oh, are you learning this from, are you learning this from Lacey? This is not how you say, it's not how you do it. This is how you need to do it. And Jason's like, well, I figured by then you'd calm down because like, you know, it was like, whoa, it was like up here. Well, I'm always calm. And it wasn't there. Okay. Well, it escalated. And so Jason's like, yeah, Jesse was acting like a way normal human beings just don't act in restaurants, even places called draft. Okay.

9:24Ronnie Karam: Yeah. And like if he hadn't gotten so involved, then it could have, they could have had a conversation, but he made it much worse, which agreed. So Lacey's like, but real talk, did you apologize to Jason for yelling? Cause I count with the yelling.

9:38Ben Mandelker: So see, this is why I like Lacey.

9:40Ronnie Karam: I like her. She's like, yeah, you were wrong in that one. Apologize.

9:44Ben Mandelker: And she stays on him. She really stays on. She really does wear the pants in this relationship. And she's like, apologize, apologize. He's like, okay, fine. I'll apologize. I'll apologize for yelling at, for yelling when she was walking at the restaurant. She's like, no, you can't yell at people because it really triggers me. He's like, I understand that. So anyway, now Lacey's talking to Zach and Brittany and Janet on the side. And Lacey's saying, you know, it triggers me when he yells because I don't like the yelling. It's triggering me. And Janet's like, well, just tell him to shut the fuck up.

10:13Ben Mandelker: she's like no i mean like you guys like i get really triggered so then brittany inserts herself and she's like well i think at some point you and michelle should have a conversation about this by the way you guys have a conversation and michelle's like about what i am literally right here i'm like

10:30Ronnie Karam: i didn't know you were right there i should have known when the micro when the microwave started fritzing out okay so uh you know we should clear the air with that okay you know this whole like

10:43Ben Mandelker: cease and desist stuff you know yeah you guys don't really talk about it you know um britney this is this is not like a um hey you guys had a misunderstanding i mean this is like x this is a marriage situation with stepmother x you don't be like oh you guys should talk about that right now it's like if they're not ready to talk this is not smart well i was the one that

11:12Ronnie Karam: got it by the way the season desist so why did my friends not get it but i got it and she's like well i knew what you guys were doing well i was not doing anything but you threatened to zoom me

11:25Ben Mandelker: michelle i spent money to try and get you to stop talking about me well i wasn't talking about you you talk about me your boyfriend talks about me she's like michelle she's like lacy lacy it's like michelle you don't have to be mean to me i'm getting triggered by you being mean to me and your first text to jesse about me was do you really want to like fight and not like whatever right i'm actually like too triggered to even remember yeah she's saying like i mean your

11:53Ronnie Karam: first text okay i mean are we gonna fight right now michelle's like i do not want to fight i don't care. I do not care. Like Michelle's a little too heated for the situation and Lacey's just staying calm. She's like, okay, well, your first text to Jesse about me, she goes, I don't care. I do not care. She goes, when I was hanging out with your child was she's ugly. She'll never be my daughter's stepmom. She has too much plastic surgery. Jesse, can I have your phone so we can show her this text? And she goes, yes, bull up the degs to bull it up. So Jesse's saying when they first started dating and Michelle hadn't filed for divorce yet and he would go to Lacey for advice and he would share as much as he could with her.

12:29Ronnie Karam: Oh, I'm sure. And Lacey's like, yeah, I think it's ridiculous to make fun of another woman's appearance.

12:36Ben Mandelker: So we see Michelle's text and they're like, look at all the crap you've said about me, yet you've already introduced her to a fake OC girl. And also things like, I don't approve of a girl who looks like that to be Isabella's stepmom. And I hope you don't end up with somebody like that for Isabella's sake.

12:55Ronnie Karam: Michelle you were mean to me You were mean to me No I wasn't And you pushed Jesse through a window What I love this because Michelle was just escalating Escalating and she's like okay So what about you pushing Jesse through a window She's like are you joking right now Now I'm fucking biz I pushed you through a window Jesse And Jesse's like oh we're going there Yeah yeah she did She pushed me through a window And Tom's like whoa Oh, wow, you really are strong, Michelle. I find that so attractive in a person. Michelle's like, really? You're telling a story about when we were married?

13:34Ben Mandelker: So Michelle's version is, I did not push Jesse out of a window last year. He was drunk and was so upset that I had asked for a divorce and he was in my way. So I softly got him out of the way and he took some steps back and drunkenly hit the window and then said, oh my God, you just pushed me through a window. Then his version is she was doing a huge commercial deal that I had been helping her on. And she said, that's my deal. We're not splitting it. She jumped over the bed and I was folding laundry and she pushed me back and my arm went through the window in my bedroom.

14:09Ronnie Karam: Okay. So all the stories cobbled together, she didn't push you through a window. That's what you're saying. Your arm went through a window. if you look out the window do you consider that jumping out a window no she did not put you out the window stop it so lala's like why are we talking about this right now and lacy's like yeah this is the unfair thing that keeps happening i'm screamed at i'm called names and lala's like because you're throwing crazy shit out there and jasmine's like oh my god everyone's so insane okay like i don't know if it's just michelle feeling a type of way because you know she's seeing jesse happy but this is nuts and lacy's like michelle i apologize that i brought up the window thing

14:50Ben Mandelker: you don't know what happened you weren't there you did not see the window and jesse's like why are we even arguing as if he has not been pitting these women against each other although in this case it was britney and britney's like yeah you guys have already worked past a lot of the stuff so we're just rehashing a lot of bad stuff so stop doing that and jesse's like started it

15:08Ronnie Karam: fucking britney this is so britney i'm glad jesse called it out because this is so britney to be y 'all need to talk god you need to talk about your divorce stuff and the cease and desist why are we rehashing old stuff

15:21Ben Mandelker: yeah because Jesse's like Brittany was the one who said let's talk about the past and Brittany will start the fire and then just slide into the shadows and they just show her she's just on her phone texting ignoring this fight that she has allegedly invested in and so he's like I don't know if Brittany is sneaky or she's just been trained by Jax to be that way I mean you're the one that's friends with Jax so

15:42Ronnie Karam: what's that

15:43Ben Mandelker: I said you're the one that's friends with Jax Jesse He's like trying to throw the Jack stuff around as if he's not friends with Jacks.

15:48Ronnie Karam: And Lacey's like, well, the amount of text she sent to Jesse making fun of my appearance and saying I'll never be Isabella's stepmom because I have plastic surgery and I'm ugly. Of course I'm triggered. And he's like, nothing productive is coming out of this. OK. And Jasmine goes, just sign the divorce papers. Move the fuck on.

16:07Ben Mandelker: So Michelle's like, divorce me, please divorce me. And Jesse goes, oh, do it for me. I'm performative. Do it for me. And Jason goes, what? She's performative? Because like Jesse's doing a whole thing. He's doing like a whole performance. Like his arms are in the air like, oh, whoa, I'm Michelle. I'm performative. And Jason's like, you realize you're the one that's being performative right now, right? Yeah.

16:30Ronnie Karam: So Janet, Lala, Michelle, and Brittany go to the side. And Janet's like, oh my God, they fucking started that. I mean, I hate to be like kindergarten, but like she went low first. And I hate that you reacted to that. I wish you didn't, but you took the bait, Michelle. She's like, yes, I did. And Michelle's like, you know, and then him, like you're playing his part. You're playing this part. And Lala says, well, he's projecting onto you because he has no money. And he's got a girl that barely even likes him a little. And like she tolerates his presence. Okay. But if he needs to project onto you because he's living a pretty miserable life, then just let him.

17:03Ronnie Karam: Who cares?

17:05Ben Mandelker: That's pretty good advice. So then it's a new day. It's a new day. This is a tense first day. But now we're in a new day. And everyone's going to go to the San Diego Zoo. to go on like a safari thing and feed animals. And it's going to be great and wonderful. And in fact, some of them are already feeding animals because there's a petting zoo attached to this house. So they're looking at that. And Zach and Lala are talking about going and taking a shower and stuff. And Jasmine's telling Lacey to not take shit from anybody. Like, don't let these girls bully you and make you feel like anything, okay?

17:38Ronnie Karam: Hey guys, are you worried that Tom's not going to do anything this episode? Don't worry, here he is. Tom's like, whoa, Lala, I gotta tell you something. Last night I had this like fleshly intense carnal sex dream and you were involved in it.

17:55Ben Mandelker: Michelle's like, what? Yeah, I swear. I'm not trying to be lewd or like. Wait, so you were super dirty to me? Yeah, and I'm gonna take it to the grave except that I just announced it right now and I erased it from my memory especially because I'm in a relationship. Oh my God, this is so awkward.

18:14Ronnie Karam: oh how do i even look you in the eye we were so freaky and she's like yeah i just don't see him like slapping ass or like choking up i just don't i see him kind of being like like yeah this was fun like maybe like with his like glasses all steamed up his socks are probably still on you

18:32Ben Mandelker: know this will be a question on the reunion schwartz you're still having sex dreams about Tell us about the dreams. How big were her boobs in your dream? Really big? Super big? Or extremely big?

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20:40Ben Mandelker: So then Michelle's like, did you wake up with a boner? And then Tom's like, what? You can't ask me that. I'm like, okay, fire this man. Get him off the show. Seriously.

20:49Ronnie Karam: This is so stupid. God, what a waste. So now Jason's talking about how he has to go to a work dinner, so he's going to leave early. and then Janet's really excited for giraffes. They're really good at skeeball. So Luke and Kristen have a chat on a swing and Luke's like, wow, what a beautiful swing. She goes, yeah, it feels like a rocking chair. Guys, it's a swing. So he's like, don't you, oh, this is where he's wearing his shirt. He's like, oh, don't you love my shirt that I'm wearing? Of our faces, isn't it so reminiscent? And so she's talking about how she's feeling bloated and she's like, yeah, I know you don't want to hear about it, but you know like everybody's like pregnancy like you know it's just so gnarly you know and that's why i get anxiety about leaving the house i'm like in my comfort zone there you know like i just want

21:35Ben Mandelker: to be with her and go to bed luke says yeah i don't i don't know what you're going through and i'm just trying to be as empathetic and as and patient as possible can you like not say patient because it makes it seem like there's like a ticking clock before you lose your mind and going to leave her or like it's like just I just don't think patient is like a good word to use with this situation here and so he says it just does wear on me and I just feel like the times where I start getting short is when like I feel like I'm being treated a way that I don't deserve like I'm not necessarily doing it to you but if it just builds up and just like I don't know I get defensive and like I'm just keeping it short she's like yeah yeah I think that like when you do of us defensive in whatever amount I think that's like what the problem is yeah yeah and And so now he's like going on again about how like I just.

22:22Ben Mandelker: He's like, yeah, sometimes you're sharp.

22:25Ronnie Karam: And when you're sharp, I don't even know what I'm doing wrong. But I hear you being sharp. And, you know, like, I don't mean to be this way. I just need you to be like, I don't mean to be this way towards you, you know, because even if you said that, that would take the weight off my chest. Yeah.

22:42Ben Mandelker: So she says, well, I just get so overwhelmed. So I'm not like, you know, I don't know. But I agree with you. It's not fair. I mean, look, a guy has a right to say, hey, I'm trying to be there for you as much as possible. And I feel like sometimes you're being a little mean to me. That's fine. But like, not the what about me? What about me? It's like, okay, enough. So Kristen talks about how she's had anxiety even before she had her baby. And sometimes she feels rage. And sometimes she feels sadness. And things come out crazy. And she's, you know, a lot of it's directed at Luke. and she basically doesn't want to mess it up and she feels really bad about it.

23:20Ronnie Karam: Yeah, she was like, I don't want to take it out on you. So they kind of make up. And now they go to the San Diego Safari Park. And so they get there and Danny's like, oh, baby, what are we doing with the baby? He's coming with us. Are you serious? She's like, if you have a problem with something, you also need to have a solution with me for me, Danny. Take her to the shelter. There's a solution.

23:42Ben Mandelker: Yeah, I think Danny forgets that this baby is like not on a bottle so it has to be with Nia to eat. So they get on the, what did you say?

23:53Ronnie Karam: Yeah, so they get on, I was disagreeing with you. So they get on, they're getting on this bus thing and the safari cart or whatever it is and Nia's like, babe, the baby, why are you not helping the baby? He's like, oh my goodness, is Lena not coming? Don't we have a nanny for this? Okay, so why can't, what's happening with her? It's like, but the baby needs to come up here. It means you're in charge. but what with her? Yeah. She needs help. She's got a backpack. She's got a carrier and it's coming up steps with a baby carriage thing. He's like, she doesn't, you know what? You didn't tell her anything.

24:28Ronnie Karam: You didn't tell her anything. You need to be in charge, Daniel. Oh God. It's like, we're just switching from shitty person, shitty man for to shitty man. Now it's, now it's our turn for Danny.

24:39Ben Mandelker: I just feel like Danny just like help bring the thing up and into the thing. Like, it's just, it's just not a hard ask it really isn't and Nia tells us Daniel is like super ready to enjoy Safari Park and I want to join him but I have the baby and I feel like I'm juggling so much and taking care of all the little details and I just want him to be there with me it sounds to me like they hired this babysitter but they didn't actually get on the same page of like what they wanted to use this babysitter for it sounds like in his mind it was like the baby's going to be with the babysitter all weekend and they'll check in once in a while.

25:12And in her mind, it's like, I'll have the babysitter.

25:15Ben Mandelker: And when I'm not feeding the baby, I will hand the baby off to her and then we can do some stuff. But like the baby will be with us the entire time.

25:24Ronnie Karam: Yeah. So he's like, do you need her with us? She goes, yeah, she's hungry. I need to nurse her 10 minutes ago, Daniel. And Kristen's like, oh my God, I want to be in a better place after our conversation with Luke. I want to be softer. So maybe I can, you know, I mean, I'm I'm willing to even offer myself as tribute and sit on the same van as Janet.

25:42Ben Mandelker: So they get in the separate trucks to go through this safari, and it's like really fun. And, you know, the sun is beaming in because they're sort of open air trucks, and Nia is trying to feed the baby. And Danny is like, so what are we doing with this baby right now? Oh, she's staying with us the whole next 90 minutes. He's like, what? He's like so angry. He's like so angry that his child is with him. And by the way, this very family friendly activity.

26:13Ronnie Karam: Yeah, I just. Yeah, exactly. He's got a baby at a safari park. That's that's where the children are supposed to be, Danny. So they're talking about elephants or being shown elephants. And Kristen's like, I have so much sympathy for them. Caw, caw. And then Nia's like, you know, it's really hot for a baby. She should be in the shade. I'm just worried about how hot Daniel why are you laughing he's like what why are you laughing he's like there's just a lot going on now he stands up like to like look out the thing he's so frustrated and she's like Danny I'm overwhelmed our baby's hot I'm hot and there's nowhere to cool her off so it's a lot can you be attuned to me like look inside that green bag maybe there's something we can fan her with you know because you're not attuned to me if you're making those faces Daniel

27:02Ben Mandelker: so then he's not helping at all at one point we do see him hold the baby like for like one second but like she then has to go and pull out this hat you know to fan the baby with and the baby's

27:13Ronnie Karam: miserable we see isn't that like the safari person's hat that they hand her to family maybe

27:17Ben Mandelker: it was but it was like the point was that danny was like you figure it out you decided to bring the baby on here so now it's your responsibility because i'm on vacation and i didn't sign up to have my baby to be on on this safari thing so if if there's an issue with the baby that's on you because i said leave the baby with the babysitter that's exactly what his face is saying right now yeah um so now they're going ziplining and um zach and lacy are like fuck that we're not doing that so they go get a drink yeah exactly even if channing tatum said like i'll make out with you if you zip line i like would not even do it um so they all go down and they all get like they get like harness in the crotch activity happening which i love that the tour

28:04Ronnie Karam: guy's like okay guys be sure not to scream because it scares the animals and every single one of them is like i know every single one of them i wonder if that's ever worked telling people not to scream on his up line. So Michelle's like, Lala's saying, okay, you should go talk to Lacey, okay? She's like, okay, just tell me how to start it. She goes, you're going to be friendly, but you're going to have to be stern when you say like, what happened last night? Well, never happened again, bitch.

28:34Ben Mandelker: Yeah, so Michelle goes up with, Lacey, can we speak, please? This is obviously very awkward. I'd like to go first. I don't want what happened yesterday to ever happen again. And I've tried my hardest with Jesse to move forward and try to co-parent. Lace is like, okay, so what happened yesterday? Oh, you mean when you guys all went in another room and made fun of me behind my back? Yeah, I would love it if you didn't do that anymore. Yeah, I agree. Yeah, totally.

29:03Ronnie Karam: No, she's really like, well, first and foremost, I apologize and I feel horrible. And I want to have mutual respect. and I know it's probably hard because of him, okay? But I don't want to be like against you and I've never wanted to be against you. And Michelle's like, it's not about you though. I've had discussions with Jesse as a father. For example, Jesse and I as barons agreed not to introduce people. But you introduced a guy last season. Do you not forget that you had that weirdo big eyed boyfriend that you had around your daughter all the time? So that's kind of weird.

29:35Ben Mandelker: She's like, but you texted Jesse and this is on him for showing me and he shouldn't show me your private information and we can agree on that and he showed me your text where you were like, I don't want that thing around Isabella. You will never be that will never be your stepmom. Look at her face. Do you remember saying that? Well, first of all you have to imagine me as a mother having just watched the latest season of House of the Dragons. I'm like, oh my god, Aegon Targaryen is going to steal my daughter and destroy her. So you have to understand how scary it was for me she's like um i do that's why i called you michelle like i

30:14Ronnie Karam: understand how weird that could be that's why i tried to call you and she's like there's a gar outside there is a woman in the gar and the agreement was we are not introducing women and it's not aid for you i was angry at jesse because he makes all of these rules and he's constantly trying to control me and lacy's like i'm just literally seeking out a mutual agreement of doing better i'm not trying to fight because michelle's like getting amped and michelle's like well i'm trying to do the same thing. And what I ask from you is do what you say. Like you say you want to be good. So don't, don't trigger me.

30:44Ronnie Karam: Don't trigger me. Oh my God. Everybody is triggered. Like every single 90 % of these people are triggered today.

30:51Ben Mandelker: So Michelle says, I left that marriage for a reason. And I have worked on myself and trying to forgive and move forward. I know you're frustrated and I understand that. And I would never intentionally cross your boundaries, but this is a year compiled of me hearing from time after time and that text. And I just, I never texted anyone about your appearance. I never would do that to you, Michelle, but I don't text people about your appearance. I don't think you understand. He attacked me all the time. You have no idea. You only get one side of the story. Wow.

31:24Ronnie Karam: So Michelle's just not going to apologize. She's not going to give her an inch. She's not going to be like, I'm so sorry. I called you an ugly heathen, like with, you know, rubber face.

31:34Ben Mandelker: Yeah.

31:34Ronnie Karam: Sorry. Like, how hard is that, Michelle, to just say, I'm sorry I called you ugly. I was mad at Jesse. Why is that so hard? She can't even, she's just like, nope, nope, Jesse dated you, and that wasn't cool, period. So you need to understand that.

31:49Ben Mandelker: Lacey actually has a pretty, I think, not enlightened, maybe the word is enlightened, But she has a pretty good response, which is like, well, I'm not a I'm not a I'm not a doctor, but I go to a lot of therapists and I just sort of feel like Michelle probably has her own trauma. And at this point, my goal is to get along with her. So I have to focus on my goal and I'd rather focus on getting along with her than being right in this conversation. So whatever. I'm just going to move forward.

32:21Ronnie Karam: So Michelle's like, look, I've kept a lot private and I don't talk about things that happen in my marriage. And I'm sure you've heard some stories. And I think talking about my past and my marriage when you're not in it is inappropriate. And I've worked on forgetting it and moving past it. And so Lacey's like, okay, you're right. I'm sorry. And I don't want to go there with especially you. And I apologize. So let's just do better. And she's like, we will move forward. She's like, okay. I'm glad we could move forward. Really, I'm sorry. Again, I felt like an asshole. And Michelle's like, well, I felt all over yelling because I don't really yell.

32:52Ronnie Karam: It takes a lot for me to grind. and yell. So even this, she's like, okay, I'm sorry you made me yell. I'm like, yeah, Michelle, geez, just tell the girl you're sorry you called her ugly. My God.

33:04Ben Mandelker: Michelle goes, I'm actually a very happy person. Yes. Three years in, that's what I think about. I'm like, oh, there's that very happy Michelle Lolly. Just sunshine and rainbows all the time. Michelle Lolly.

33:20Ronnie Karam: So I even rhyme things like don't say gay actually that didn't remind that didn't that did not rhyme never mind but it was fun for me so um they walk back and join the rest of the group and so kristen's like well but lala when i think of your boobs i think of the heart tattoo isn't that

33:44Ben Mandelker: no remember remember when you squirted milk all across the dining room table when ocean was a little baby remember that i walked in and they were like it's going everywhere and i'm sitting here i'm like squeezing my boob arm come on bitch come on you bitch come on get the milk out get the

33:57Ronnie Karam: milk out come on you were like i'm leaking i'm leaking and it just shot out and i was like whoa that was my first real moment of what breastfeeding is like and then i'm sitting here like squeezing like trying like at the well like oh come on something so um they're all just like uh lala

34:15Ben Mandelker: asks if everything is good with Michelle and Lacey and it's good. And then Lacey's like, by the way, Jesse, you should apologize for last night too. He's like, goddammit. I can't get out of this. He's like, I'll have my moment and it's not right now. She's like, no, you should do it. You should do it. He's like, I will do it, but whatever. So then Nia, they're all lining up for a photo and Nia goes, guys, I have a quick announcement. We have to head back right now, but we have a surprise. The girls and I have been planning a

34:44Ronnie Karam: pageant it's gonna be a male pageant oh god we have costumes oh my god so she tells us her pageant idea because she's a pageant girl guys so they're like oh yeah we're gonna dress you like girls guys gonna be so hilarious and christian's like yeah luke you're gonna be like ariel the little mermaid but it's a bride he's like wow i'm my own hall pass i guess i'll be masturbating tonight is that what you're saying well it's all passes ariel i forgot about that um god i forgot about that too so bernie's like yeah that's why we were at the costume store guys

35:25Ben Mandelker: i know all of you guys were wondering why were they at the costume store what were they doing buying dishes guess what we're buying costumes it all makes sense now so now they head back to the

35:34Ronnie Karam: house and um zach's like uh talking about four loco he's like let's just say it's a very very special drink that has the word loco in it for a reason um so now everyone's the guys the women

35:51Ben Mandelker: are getting the guys into drag and then danny is like nia get me ready get me ready and he's like i'm going to just chill i just i need to nurse her to sleep there's just like so much going on Yeah, well, listen, if this was a Magic Mike pageant right now, oh, it'd be game over in two seconds.

36:14Ronnie Karam: Don't flatter yourself, buddy. Yeah. It's like we were saying when we were watching the McBee's trailer and they go to a strip club. We're like, yeah, that's not Magic Mike. That's just Mike. That's just Mike. Don't flatter yourself. So it's like, yeah, get me ready. Get me ready. So meanwhile, Zach is like, this is my first drag experience ever, and I'm so excited. Like, the breastplate alone, I can't. So the boys are all putting on their boobies and cracking up. And so then, of course, Tom's like, wow, I kind of like this dress, Michelle. She's like, that is La La's.

36:51Ben Mandelker: So, and then Luke is like, this is the weirdest thing I've ever done, babe. Because Kristen's putting Luke in this white, like in Ariel's wedding dress, but he just sort of looks like a mummy with a red wig on. Ultimately, he looks very, very strange. And then Tom's saying how he, I love getting into drag, but everyone told me I'm the ugliest woman, like unanimously. And then we see flashback to him in New Orleans on Vanderpump Rules, not making a beautiful woman in drag.

37:21Ronnie Karam: They really need to stop flashing back to Vanderpump Rules because it just reminds you of what was, you know, that we come back to Danny and Nia. He's like, Nia, they've been getting ready for 20 minutes. We're here to win. What are you doing? She's like, I know. I just need to put the baby down. Well, you're here to win. I'm here to win. So let's do it. I'm doing my best, Daniel. Well, do you even know what you're doing here, Nia? Do you even know? She's like, I feel like you're being really critical, and it's hard for me to function, Daniel. No, it's not. Okay, shirt off. Let's go. You're in charge, so be in charge.

37:53Ronnie Karam: And he's getting really mean, and he's wearing this stupid blonde wig on his head.

37:58Ben Mandelker: Yeah.

37:58Ronnie Karam: which makes it even worse. It's like, oh God.

38:02Ben Mandelker: I thought, was he doing some weird character? Like, yeah, we're going to win. We're going to win. Like he was getting into character as like some sort of athlete. But then I started to feel like, no, he's not because she's, if he is in character, and I'm not going to give him that, but if he is in character, she's not feeling that he's in character. And she's like, can you please stop doing this? And he keeps on doing it. And so he's being a huge dick and she's like, okay, hey, do you want to do pants or shirt off, please? And he's like, this is your project. You just shot. I need you to stop being critical of me.

38:35Ben Mandelker: It's really hard to function, as it should. It's a competition, and I don't lose.

38:43Ronnie Karam: So he's telling us, you know, Nia's got a lot going on, but I'm pretty frustrated. You know, I feel like I'm not getting the attention that everyone else is getting, you know? I feel like not enough thought was going into it, and the only reason we flew Lena out here was to watch the baby so I could have fun. And now here I am not even going to do good in a contest. So see, he's not kidding. He's like, no, this is a competition. She's paying attention to the fucking baby instead of me. And everybody else is getting ready and I don't get to get ready. There was one point where they showed, I think it's before all of this happened, but they were getting up in the morning and Danny's working out and it was just so Danny.

39:20Ronnie Karam: It's like him, I'm like an elliptical or something or a run, whatever, some machine and just staring at himself in the mirror like in the eyes like sucking in his cheeks just like focused just like solely on his like alleged hotness it's just yeah

39:38Ben Mandelker: yeah so Sonia's like I'm trying to get you ready take your clothes off he's like what is this it's a sparkly dress and he goes it's not even form fitting sir this is not a real pageant okay this is gonna be 10 minutes in a goofy dress okay and she's do you want a full face of makeup well why are you asking me for because you're the one who's complaining that you're not getting attention so she's trying to give you attention right now we're partners daniel it's like there's

40:09Ronnie Karam: no partners in this it's win or lose look you're killing me daniel jeez okay i'm gonna cover up your facial hair stop dude what are you doing to me dude i look like a clown you don't have to rub

40:20Ben Mandelker: so hard because she's put that like what is a banana banana something that like turns up the proof face she's giving him proof face and he does not like it whatsoever so he's like wiping it off he's all angry and he is like daniel and i have not been on the same page like i want to be and especially when we kind of like have a little escape pretty much this whole weekend it's like at this point my feelings are getting hurt and i just don't know what to do so we see lala has

40:46Ronnie Karam: been standing there watching this whole thing and he's like god just know my skin tone geez lala's like so how's it going stop being mean to me honey we're here to win well tell me i'm doing great and you're proud of me no i mean are you ready for the wig you know you have to hold the front and i'll do the back and he's like oh what you're gonna do my hair she's no this is the hairstyle we'll get it situated then get it done god this what is wrong with him it just gets way It gets worse and worse, and he gets meaner and meaner. And she's like, you know, you're competitive as a lie. He's like, get it done.

41:19Ronnie Karam: And she's like, I'll walk away. And he goes, give it a tram. Give it a tram. And she's like, stop raising your voice. He goes, you're Miss USA. You better make my hair like a pageant girl. And Lala's like, yeah, I have to be honest. It's making me feel very uncomfortable. It's the way that you're talking to her, okay? It's making me very triggered. He goes, triggered? Why are you triggered?

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43:51Ben Mandelker: So she says, because the way you're speaking to her, and it's like not kind. I don't like it. It's supposed to be fun. And Nina's like, yeah, it's supposed to be fun. and he goes well that's what we're doing and Lala's like that's not what I'm hearing it doesn't sound like fun it sounds aggressive and disrespectful and I don't like it he goes well thank you Lala she goes well I'm sorry Nia if I'm overstepping so I was like I really like that Lala went in there and like had Nia's back and also said what Nia should have been saying which was not even not what Nia should have been saying but I think what Nia probably wanted to say but felt like she couldn't which was like shut the fuck up Danny

44:27Ronnie Karam: yeah Nia's like well I'm having two thoughts if Lala comes in you know one is this ain't your business like truly like bye what are you doing here okay well then don't expose us all to your shitty marriage Nia you know what I mean like it's the same thing you're doing on TV where now you're trying to have podcasts to explain why your husband's such a piece of shit well he's a piece of shit if you don't want your husband to be a piece of shit you shouldn't be on TV with him and that's not to say like this is Nia's fault in any way but like you're in a shit situation and people are going to say things about it, you know, because this is gross.

45:01Ronnie Karam: This is terrible. Nobody should be treated like that. And she's like, and then the second thing is like, bye, what are you doing here? But like also, well, thank God someone else sees it because I'm like, am I losing my mind here?

45:13Ben Mandelker: No, we see it. It's bad. Lala says, I've heard about the dark side of Danny and this is the first time I'm actually seeing it and hearing it and it's extremely uncomfortable. So then Danny is like, then Danny turns the knee and goes, don't let her talk to me like that. And he was like, well, then you go to,

45:30Ronnie Karam: you got to go cry to your mommy now, Danny. Isn't that funny how quickly you needed her? The second you got, you got anything from anybody else. You're like, oh no, I need my mommy.

45:41Ben Mandelker: Yeah. Don't let, don't let her talk to me like that. And then he is like, then you, then you don't talk to me how you're talking to me, sir. And he's like, I will. She said, no, you won't. Yes, I will. And he is like, well, then I'll let her talk to you how she wants to. He goes, oh really? She's like, yeah, because she was saying exactly what I was saying, and you weren't listening to me, so maybe you'll listen to it from someone else.

46:02Ronnie Karam: And so Lala's talking to Jesse, and she's like, he was yelling at her. Did you hear that? And he's like, yeah, I heard it. I don't want to get into another thing. Oh, God. It's another male, another guy doing a great job on this show. And she's like, well, that's what makes me nervous. You know, like, I haven't heard it before, and I think that's why I started crying. And he's like, yeah, because you'd never seen it or you're used to it. And she's like, no, no, I hadn't seen it. And I was like, is he in character? Is he actually being a dick? But then I was around the corner and he was like, do my fucking wig.

46:31Ronnie Karam: And something about a wig. And she's like, Daniel, stop. And that's when I was like, knock it off, you know? And then he started to laugh at me when I told him to stop.

46:40Ben Mandelker: So Jesse says, well, I heard the way Danny was speaking to Nia. And it was definitely ordering her around. And he was definitely being aggressive. And he definitely drank. And I said, are we going to the dark side? So I said, you know what? I'm going to intervene here. And I'm going to put him in his place. Just kidding. I only do that to women. Anyway, I just let him do his thing. It was fun.

46:59Ronnie Karam: Yeah. For someone who's been, you know, apparently talking about how they were thrown through a window during a fight, you really don't seem to care about anybody else getting completely fucking obliterated over here while you can sit there and listen to it. Gross. So Danny's like, oh, I'm mistriggered right now. That's what I should be in this contest. Mistriggered. Yeah. And Lala's like, oh, wow. What? And he goes, yeah, I'm going to be mistriggered. She goes, yeah. And she tells us, I've never had a man mock me when I say I'm triggered. Like, he has no idea why speaking to me that way would trigger me.

47:34Ronnie Karam: And it's so disrespectful and misogynistic and tells me everything I need to know about this person. So Danny's like, she's triggered. She's like, okay, Danny, I'll fucking knock it off. I do not fucking fuck with you right now.

47:47Ben Mandelker: Whoa, what are you talking about? You're not going to come in and be passive aggressive because what happens is you're passive aggressive. I'm just aggressive, so don't do that shit to me. And he's like, well, you did it to me. She's like, well, you were being aggressive and disrespectful to your wife, so I shut it down. Oh, so you're in my marriage now? Like, this is what I hate. When people who are in bad relationships do it in public in front of everyone, and then everyone has a right to say something because it's in their space, and they're like, oh, stay out of our relationship. Well, then stay out of my fun space.

48:18Ronnie Karam: Yeah, stay out of the food court. So Lala's like, well, knock it off. I don't need to be in your marriage to see what's right in front of me. I got a brain and two fucking eyes and ears. Jesus, you got the wrong bitch. He goes, don't talk to me like that. Oh, yeah, good luck. Don't talk to me like that. And she's like, you're talking to me like that. He goes, no, I didn't. She goes, yes, you did. Miss Trigger. And I'm Miss Trigger. You're calling me? Don't do that. Don't do that. He's like, because you came in on my business. And she's like, oh, yeah? Well, I'd hate to see how you talk to her behind closed doors.

48:48Ronnie Karam: This is how you do it. and it just ends with him dumbfounded in that stupid wig with his little butt. It was great. It was a face. Oh,

48:55Ben Mandelker: it was like good for her. He was really just, he couldn't believe it. He couldn't honestly, I don't think he could believe that a woman would speak to him that way. You know, he's had, you know, he's had a Janet, you know, be like an opponent, but Janet never got into his face in that same way. Like Lala does it in a way like you are not fucking with me. There's just a different way when someone has that energy of like, you're not going to fuck with me and you better shut up. There's a different energy behind that versus someone who's like, I think that what you're doing is not right. And he was gobsmacked and it was great and it was deserving.

49:28Ben Mandelker: And I think Lala did the exact right thing. I thought she was wonderful in this moment.

49:32Ronnie Karam: Yeah, me too. Good for her. Yeah. And last year, you know, when he was doing the stuff with Janet, he was still, he still had his mask on, you know, he was very much like, what? I did something offensive. I don't even remember it. I'm so sorry. let me have five apology scenes to talk about how sorry i am about you know he didn't really drop that mask like he is right now i mean right now jesus christ yeah what a big i mean really the the only the only decent ones right now out of the men are zach and jason everyone else like

50:05Ben Mandelker: are total garbage total trash fires today yeah they really are yikes well okay well it was i I actually really enjoyed the episode. And we'll see how this all resolves next week on the Valley. And until then, thanks for listening. I was personally traumatized, but I'm glad. Yes, I could fuck this. Um, thanks everyone for being here and I will talk to you all next week. Bye. Bye. Watch what crappens would like to thank its premium sponsors. She answered the call. It's Adia Paul. Ain't no thing like Alison King. Our way is the Amber way. It's the foster and the furious. It's Amanda Foster. It's always automatic with Ashley Otto.

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