#3369 RHORI S1E08: It’s Hip To Be Square Footage

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1:54Ben Mandelker: Watch what crappens. Oh, I mean, watch what crappens. Who cares what happens when there's so much that crappens? Hello and welcome to Watch What Crappens, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to talk about. I'm Ben Mandelker and joining me today is a man who I know would never shame me for square footage. It's Ronnie Karam. How are you? Don't be so sure. You never know. We are here today to talk about Real Housewives of Rhode Island, a big, exciting episode. Before we do that, in about two weeks, we're doing our cabaret, which is sold out, but you can stream it. Just go to our website, watchwhackrappens.com, and there are links to the various streaming times that you can buy tickets for.

2:38Ben Mandelker: And as we have learned, you can buy tickets all the way up to Curtin. And then once Curtin happens, no more tickets. So you can still watch it afterwards. but if you decide you want to watch the cabaret, you know, like a few days later, like actually I should watch that too late. The tickets go off sale. The moment curtain happens. So those ticket links again at our website, also on our social media and join us on Patreon, patreon.com slash watch or crap ends or they go off sale,

3:04Ronnie Karam: but you can still watch it for a week.

3:06Ben Mandelker: So watch it. You just can't. Yeah.

3:08Ronnie Karam: If you can't, if you can't watch it that night, just make sure to get the tickets beforehand. So you can still watch it for a week after.

3:14Ben Mandelker: Yeah. Patreon is where we have a newsletter and we have bonus episodes and all that good stuff. It's patreon.com slash watchacrappens and also a programming note. Next week is a long weekend here in the States so we will not have recaps of Rhode Island or Atlanta in the following week. We will give updates on what happened, etc. But yeah, we are having that Monday off which will be very exciting. So if you're wondering where did the recap go, that's where the recap went. Disappeared into the ether. So with that all being said, let's dive into this wild episode. This was a big episode because it was two major things that we had been teased in the trailer.

4:01Ben Mandelker: One was the scene with the mom that we've been waiting for. And of course, the scene with Rosie and Kelsey fighting in a little staircase by a small door. And I have to say, since the trailer for the show first dropped, they've been showing this fight. And I've been amused that there's this big screaming match that happens in like a mid-level, like a ranch home. Very non-Real Housewives. Like normally, if a fight's going to happen by a front door, there'll be like angel wings on the door and like a giant grand staircase. But this is Rosie's home, which is just like, okay, like a little staircase and there's some boots over there on the side.

4:37Ben Mandelker: And like just a standard door.

4:39Ronnie Karam: A ranch home is a flat home. It's like a one-story home. I know what you mean. I meant split-level. These split-level homes. And Rosie is also dressed crazily. She's wearing something that's hurting my eyes. She's wearing a yoga outfit or something, but it's got those multicolored bars like a TV at the end of the night when it goes dead or whatever. Yeah. That was so funny. That stupid fight. And then watching the press all week of Rosie versus Kelsey has been really funny, too, because they're all doing a million interviews. And just watching them rehash the fight and who's right and who's wrong.

5:18Ronnie Karam: They're both such ding-dongs that, honestly, I just enjoy it without getting upset on anybody's side, if that makes sense. Because sometimes on these shows, you watch it and you take a side. And, you know, I definitely do. And I get really upset sometimes. And this, I'm just like, you're both so stupid that I guess I shouldn't say stupid. It's ridiculous that I love it.

5:39Ben Mandelker: Yeah, I'm a little bit more on Rosie's side about this. But, like, you know, Rosie's no angel. She had her architectural plans laid out to basically shade Kelsey the moment Kelsey got there. And Kelsey got there first and shaded her first, which is in a louder, more obnoxious way. So I still think that, like, Rosie is a bit more in the right to be annoyed by it. But, like, Rosie was also going to try to humiliate Kelsey. So let's not overlook that either.

6:07Ronnie Karam: Well, I don't think it's humiliating to say these are the house plans and it's not a lie.

6:13Ben Mandelker: Well, it's just like when I say humiliate, basically, okay, you're coming over under the pretense that we're moving forward and we're going to do something nice and we're going to build our friendship. But first, let me take one more dig at you. Here are the plans. And now you can see that I am going to build a big addition. But then Kelsey gets there first. Like, okay, well, guess what? I'm going to take a dig at you first. but either way it was a really funny fight and I enjoy Rosie more than Kelsey sort of globally and so I would say that I was more on Rosie's side with this

6:43Ronnie Karam: yeah so it's Rhode Island season 1 episode 8 splitting hairs so we're at Rula's house and she's with her kids and making them lunch they went chicken tendons she's like you're gonna turn into chicken and fries. You eat those every day. Well, your husband eats that mistress every day. He hasn't turned into mistress. So just feed me what I fucking want.

7:10Ben Mandelker: And then in Joellen's house, Joellen's kid is on the sofa. She's like, okay, don't get it on the couch, please. Please, don't get it on the couch. I'm going to send you off to behavioral camps, okay? Oh, God, I'm turning into my mother already. Oh, God, it's happening.

7:24Ronnie Karam: She's like, do not wipe your hands on the white carpet. I mean, what in the world? Girl, Why do you have these children on a white carpet?

7:31Ben Mandelker: Why are you feeding them food while your child's sitting on the floor in your nice living room at the coffee table? Feed them the snacks over at the kitchen or the dining room.

7:41Ronnie Karam: Yeah, if I was raising kids, they would be at a table, have a fork in one hand and a vacuum in the other one that was constantly going as they ate. You know, earn your food.

7:51Ben Mandelker: That's right. So then we see Liz putting her harness on her cat. Ganji, you want to go for a walk with Ma? You want to do that? And Jerry's like, how long is this going to take, Liz? I'm like, Jerry, you never get to ask that question. Mr. Gone three weeks of every month for 20 years. You never get to ask how long is this going to take, even if it is about walking the stupid cat, which is adorable.

8:14Ronnie Karam: And by the way, to answer your question, want to go for a walk with Ma? No, Ganj does not want to go for a walk with you. You ask him every week and Ganj is laying down. Okay. Okay, Gansh does not want to go on a walk with you. Cats do not want to be on a leash going for a walk. They do not. They don't want that.

8:30Ben Mandelker: They really don't.

8:32Ronnie Karam: I feel like there was just an earthquake here.

8:33Ben Mandelker: Was there just an earthquake? Was there an earthquake? I don't know.

8:36Ronnie Karam: I'm not there.

8:37Ben Mandelker: I'm asking you to psychically answer this question for me, please.

8:41Ronnie Karam: I don't know. I'm not there. I wish I was there because I love when I'm there and we both get to go, oh, my God.

8:46Ben Mandelker: Was there an earthquake? Well, I went onto the earth. I don't know. That's the best. remember that time when there was like a real earthquake and i got under the desk while this camera was rolling for the show oh it was so embarrassing why is it so embarrassing to hide under a desk when things when cameras are rolling you know every time there's an earthquake and they they always show the newscasters who hide under the desk it's like ah stupid people who were doing something for their safety have we seen newscasters jump under their desk for an earthquake oh my god it's like one of the things that they love to show whenever there's an earthquake they love to show earth uh uh newscasters be like oh well it seems like there's an earthquake and emergency get right under our desk and they all try to be calm about it but they're freaking out it's classic classic earthquake footage so now we go over to alicia's

9:35Ronnie Karam: and um she's with billy they're leaving their house and you did you read the stuff with alicia i guess we'll talk about it tonight on crappy hour but did you read the stuff alicia put out this week about her husband oh no good she's like we'll talk about that tonight yeah we'll talk about it but she was but just in case anybody doesn't hear it she's like um yeah you know like would you be mad if like all your money was taken by your husband and put into account that you don't have a you don't have access to like oh like basically sounding like she's about to leave billy you know not good but this is a cute scene with them where he's trying to get her to drive and she's too terrified.

10:15Ronnie Karam: And he's like, I'm going to take your car because you got to start driving it. You know, you got like 2 ,000 miles on it. It's like a year old. It's like, look, Billy, there's a four-leaf clover. Could you get that? He's like, it's a weed. Come on. It's not a four-leaf clover. It is. It's a four-leaf clover. It's a weed. It's probably poison ivy. Don't touch it. She's like, why would we have poison ivy? Why? Why would we have that?

10:36Ben Mandelker: It's literally like a blatantly a weed. It's like blatantly not a clover. Like you could see it on camera from afar. Like that's a weed. She's like, no, but it's four leaves. It's four leaves. The New York Times, by the way, it's being poison ivy. We're not going to get through this recap, but these are all very important asides. The New York Times just today has a feature up that says, is this poison ivy or poison oak or poison sumac? Test your knowledge. And they have this whole thing. They keep showing images and have scenarios. It's like you're hiking on the Appalachian Trail and you drop your water bottle and it rolls under this shrubbery.

11:11Ben Mandelker: Do you touch your water bottle? you know, and you know, the, and they're showing all these things. And a fucking, let me tell you something hike where there's no help across the, to me, the answer to everything was do not touch. They're like, this is, this is safe. It's wild strawberries. I'm like, do not touch. Like, this is called Boston Ivy. Do not touch. I'm not touching anything. I don't care. It says leaves of three. Let it be. I'm like leaves of three, four, five, six, 12. Let it be. Also, I'm not touching anything. And I'm, I'm like, I'm like Billy. I'm like, I'm not touching that weed in the grass ever.

11:43Ronnie Karam: You wouldn't even be hiking in the first place. You're too terrified of everything on the trail. There's leaves there.

11:51Ben Mandelker: I'm afraid of rabies. I'm afraid of a rabid raccoon running out of the bushes and biting me. And Jesse Lology.

11:59Ronnie Karam: So he finally gets her into the car. And she's like, oh my God, Billy, you know what? I got to do a quick cracker before I get started. All right. I'm so nervous. And she has him in the backseat. She's like, taking the backseat cracker. It's like, there's nothing to be nervous about. What are you talking about? You're too serious. That's what I'm nervous. I ran over someone, Billy. Okay. Someone jumped in front of my car. Okay. Yeah. There's a reason to be nervous.

12:24Ben Mandelker: Where's my emotional support cracker? I need another one. I need another cracker for the first cracker. Like it was just too much. It's too much for me. He's like, okay, okay. No, you're always doing this. You're always doing, you gotta go over here. You gotta go there. No, okay. It's too much for me. He's like, okay. I'll tell you whatever it takes for you to drop off and pick up Selena for dance. That's all I want you to do. So Alicia tells us Selena dances five days a week. Then Billy's always out doing something. And like he's an entrepreneur. So like I have to start driving my daughter to dance school because like I got like some issues with like driving bad.

12:57Ben Mandelker: Like I can't breathe. I feel like I'm suffocating. And like I get dizzy. And I feel like I'm going to throw up. And like I almost feel like I can't feel my hands. It's like it's like really scary driving.

13:07Ronnie Karam: I can't help that I have the fear, Billy, okay? The bridge is like crazy. He's like, I understand. But you got to tap, like, take on your fears. All right, take on your fears. She's like, cracker, cracker, cracker, cracker, cracker. I need to have all of my crackers in case I feel like I'm going to faint. I got rose water to spray to wake myself up because it's cold. I got peppermint oil to help me focus and gum. Yeah, gum. Yeah, those are my things I usually have when I drive. Like, at a good playlist, of course. I play earth, wind, and fire. No. I play. Okay, okay.

13:35Ben Mandelker: Okay, you just pretend the road is made of Tristan.

13:38Ronnie Karam: I play Red because it's a band that's close enough to Crackers.

13:41Ben Mandelker: Actually, you know what band I really like? Crackers. It's a good band from the 90s. By the way, my first concert that I went to. Actually, you know what's so funny? My first concert I went to was Earthwind. That's a real band, Cracker? Yeah. My first concert that I went to was Earthwind and Fire. So it's really weird that you say that. And the second one I went to was Cracker. It was a triple header of Cracker, Gin Blossoms, and Spin Doctors. so literally I mean if the next thing you say is you know what I need is Dave Matthews band I'll be like whoa what is happening here it's like okay alright come on you can do this but you just gotta listen you know you already gave me orders I'm not giving you orders just follow the signs I put the signs everywhere I put the signs everywhere the signs what do I do

14:23Ronnie Karam: do not enter green light red light it was funny it's like what signs everywhere it's a road it's a road Billy

14:31Ben Mandelker: my dad is like that when i when we drive with him he gets like overwhelmed we're like dad follow the signs he goes what signs like the sign that says go straight which direction straight left or right straight go straight and every time there's an intersection if we don't say anything my dog which way do i go like we just keep going straight if we if you need to go in a different direction we'll let you know it's like i need to know what to keep going straight keep going straight dad He loses his mind. It's hilarious. But emotional support crackers. Maybe we should have looked into that many years ago.

15:06Ronnie Karam: Yeah. So he's like, okay, you know what? Okay, God, we got over the bridge. Thank God. Okay, I want to hear about your trip. Okay, tell me about your trip. I FaceTimed you, right? He's like, yeah, I saw that creepy doll in bed with you. What was that about? I was just like, yeah. Wait, what?

15:21Ben Mandelker: I was going to say, we have to this bridge that she was so scared of. It was like, I was expecting it to be like a suspension bridge. It was just like a bridge over a creek. It was like not like a bridge bridge. And she was sweating like her clavicle was all shiny. Like she was really going through it.

15:39Ronnie Karam: Well, it's scary. You know, you could fall off that bridge just as easily as any other bridge.

15:44Ben Mandelker: You could. You could. So anyway, yeah. So she talked about how she FaceTimed from Newport and he's like, yeah, I saw that creepy doll in the bed with you. She's like, oh, so yeah, Selena. She was like, mom, why would you have a tea potty with dolls without me? He's like, yeah, that is kind of weird that you did that yeah well that was just part of the trip and then you know liz she like attacked me like crazy we see a flashback to liz be like you are not homeless alicia you are not

16:07Ronnie Karam: homeless in your life it's like yeah my blood was like running because it was like it was a cold for you know it's like it was upsetting you know billy it was like upsetting i'm not over it it's like i think maybe it's because you know her she goes yeah this was tricky about it yeah like you kid and her sister, like, oh, God, it's hard for me. Because I can respect her, you know? Like, do I put her on a pedestal? Sure. So, it's like it comes at me strong, you know, because it's coming at me from a pedestal. That's scary.

16:35Ben Mandelker: Is the pedestal made of wheat thins? Yeah, it's still a pedestal, though. You stack them up real high. They really balance well. But you know what? Oh, God. Oh, my God. Why did I do two in a row? Two in a row? Two in a row. But it's like, okay, all you can do, okay, relax, relax. It's okay. It's like, by the way, you just went right through a stop sign. Oh, my God. A stop sign? Why do they have so many stop signs? Because we do zero drive right through one and i was like you just went to a stop sign and i was like afraid they weren't gonna mention it um so uh he's like he's like yeah you can't control other people all

17:05Ronnie Karam: you can control is their finances no you cannot have money for for snacks later she's like thank you billy thank you great advice very deep billy okay you know what i didn't want to tell you about rula bryant so at the end of the trip joe ellen just shows me a video of bryant he's with the mistress he's cheating on her you know he's like hugging her for five minutes i mean this was last week like what's a five-minute hug i mean i can't you know and like it said the date on it you know you can see you can see an entire video you see the whole thing you know he goes well you can make

17:31Ben Mandelker: up a date on something oh come on why is he taking this guy's side blindly why is everybody going so

17:38Ronnie Karam: hard to frame this cheater for still cheating you know it's like he's he's an admitted cheater and with this woman and they're like oh people are going out of their way just putting fake dates on things to make it look like you still cheat and it's a big conspiracy against Brian.

17:54Ben Mandelker: Oh, well, that's what I said too. I said you can make up something, but no, he was like Billy. It was new. It was like, it's new. It's really new, Billy. Oh my God. Oh my God. I hate these bumps over here. Oh God, the bumps. The bumps. The speed bumps. She drives over speed. Oh God, it's my tires. What about my tires? And then Joellen, she was like, you know, the dramatics. Alicia, I want you to deal with this. Like, what are you going to do with the video? And I don't know. I don't know what I want to do with the information because I got to be honest with you. She's obviously stressed out. I don't want to kick someone when they're down.

18:22Ben Mandelker: That kills me. That's like saying to someone when they're down, hey, you can go drive up a bridge right now. That's hard. Why would I ever do that to someone?

18:30Ronnie Karam: You should do what feels right. I just feel a little bit like I want the temperature of them. You know what I mean? I don't want to get involved. It's so messy. They have children. Okay, Billy? If there was a video of Billy, like what about Brian? I would definitely want one of my friends to tell me, but Rula would not be okay if she sees this video. She's not going to be okay. Like, you know, it's a father of the kids. It's the father of the kids, you know?

18:56Ben Mandelker: Oh my God. Okay, that was it. That was my trip. That was everything from Newport. He's like, well, it sounds emotionally draining. Did you guys get to relax at all? Not really. Oh God. Oh God, I'm getting sweaty already. He's like, but there's no bridge, but it's coming. There's going to be a bridge coming. I got to take off my sunglasses. I got to see everything here. This is what Selena does with me, by the way. She cries. She goes, she's like, I don't want this. I don't want this. He's like, she cries? Yeah. Well, no, she doesn't cry. She's like, mommy, it's okay. Breathe. You're almost over it.

19:23Ben Mandelker: And it's like, it's torturous. It's hard, Billy. It's hard.

19:26Ronnie Karam: I'm going to pee my pants. He's like, but you did it. She goes, yeah. They changed it.

19:32Ben Mandelker: They changed the bridge.

19:33Ronnie Karam: They changed the bridge. He's like, you did it. So you're going to do drop-offs and pick-ups. Okay, here's what sounds great for the person driving my daughter to dance. doesn't stop for stop signs has panic attacks on bridges. Sounds great. I think you're ready. I think you're ready.

19:50Ben Mandelker: Why do they do so many stop signs in a row? After there's one, there shouldn't be another one for at least three miles. Two in a row? It's crazy.

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22:09Ronnie Karam: now we go to Rosie's house and she's taking a walk with the dog and Richie and she's putting on her wacky bouncy shoe things and he's got a shovel in the ground and you know working on that house always working on the house so she's like you know we start digging but then we find a bunch of boulders and then that took three weeks instead of one and then we pour the foundation. There's an issue with that. Now we're framing and then we're, you know, tricing and then we start decorating. The fun part doesn't even begin anytime soon.

22:42Ben Mandelker: Yeah. So Rosie is like, I don't know what we're going to do with all this big hole. It's like, no, we're going to backfill it. Hey, you should have your friends come over and help backfill it, you know? She's like, okay, well, might have to record you saying all this and bring it to the next group event. He's like, oh, okay. And she's like, yeah, because they're always trying to discredit me and the newest thing is that this isn't a real project and we don't have any money. So I was like, okay. He's like, yeah, well, maybe they can help us. I was like, okay, well, everybody get a shovel. Okay, can we look at this later, Billy?

23:12Ben Mandelker: Because I told Clemmie we'd go on a walk. I love when she said that. Clemmie's sitting there like, you made a promise to me and I'm waiting for us to go on a walk right now.

23:22Ronnie Karam: Yeah, so she puts on these moon boot things. And meanwhile, Clemmie's just pooping in the front yard. They're like, oh my god, Clemmy, how could you? She's like, oh my god, in your princess dress, Clemmy, you couldn't hold it until after? So they start doing a little walk, and she's just gossiping.

23:40Ben Mandelker: By the way, I love Clemmy. I have to say, I love Clemmy. I don't know, this dog really does it for me. I just want to say.

23:46Ronnie Karam: Oh yeah? Is it the style of pooping it was doing in the yard? What was it?

23:50Ben Mandelker: No, Clemmy looks like a gentle dog. Clemmy is not hyperactive. you know like clemmy doesn't have any of that dreaded poodle in her so she's just like a chill dog and i just like her i like her vibe that's good so there's a there's a clemmy fan

24:08Ronnie Karam: clemmy's clemmy's got a fan the clem club you can be in the clemmy president so she starts gossiping with gary and she's like oh my god so kelsey is moving in an apartment and the old guy that she cheated on the new guy with who she saw once a month even though they were together is paying for it. But I'm the problem. I'm the problem. I mean, how do you make your money? Give me a fucking break, but not for nothing. Like why does Kelsey care so much about my house when she doesn't even have a fucking house? Yeah.

24:35Ben Mandelker: Well, it's projection sort of like what I have to do when I sing Frank, you know, and how did things with Kelsey turn good by the way? Cause last time we talked, it was not great. Can like, but can you stop bouncing? She's like, well, so she was trying to say that, like, I've always like, you know, say that, Like I've just never tried with her. And I explained all the ways that I have done that. And then like, oh my God, wait, Clemmy's just rolling around in dog poop. Oh, Clemmy, Clemmy. Oh my God, Clemmy. That's not what a princess does. Do you want to keep your job at the TV station or not? Stop that.

25:07Ronnie Karam: Yeah. So he's like, well, you know, if you're going to make up, maybe you guys should do something together. She's like, well, I'll ask her to cut my hair again. And this time I guess I'll post it. So she says, she's like, okay, I'll post her all over my Instagram. I mean, she can give me a new haircut, help with her business, but, you know, like, be a friend of me back, you know, like, be nice to me back. I'm doing everything I need to do to keep everyone happy. And then it's like, and he's like, okay, well, if it's unjustified, give him hell then. Speak your truth and go at him, babe. Okay, go at him.

25:36Ronnie Karam: And she's like, we're getting to the point where, like, I'm about to freak the fuck out. It's going to be coming up with not too much provocation. yeah well he says because by the way don't forget if they if they ever if they disrespect you if

25:50Ben Mandelker: they're walking all over you you know what just just give them hell so she's like yeah so now we go to kelsey's new apartment and um she's unpacking all her stuff there and her mom and her sister her mom is julie and her sister taylor are there and kelsey is like what do you think mom and julie's like well still haven't gotten much personality but you know you're still my daughter no not about me i'm talking about this apartment oh yeah empty spacious you know empty tiny but at least you're clean mom the apartment well doesn't really have much of a skill set the apartment ma

26:30Ronnie Karam: thick as granite ma the apartment actually i was talking about the countertops so um they're looking around and they're both like yeah this is small but i guess i guess it'll do it's like this isn't even big as your closet back at the other place so kelsey's i know right they're like gosh need to find another rich guy so um she's talking about this place and she's like yeah i used to have someone who was like doing my laundry and making the bed we had a living chef and a driver. Like there's always someone doing something for me all the time. There's a pool boy. So, you know, it's a big adjustment for me.

27:13Ronnie Karam: I was like, well, you're still doing nothing. You're still doing the same amount that you were doing back then for it. Yeah, pretty much. Someone else is still paying for it. So I'm sure you'll be okay.

27:23Ben Mandelker: So, you know, Julie and Taylor are just happy. You can see they're happy. They're happy that Kelsey is finally moving on out of this relationship where she was never going to get what she wanted out of it. and they're just helping her unpack and everything and they move a table and everything and then for the rest of the scene, Kelsey is tinkering with some weird white metal shelf that she's just completely incapable of putting this thing together and it's like we see it in various states of it like going up and coming down on the table and it was driving me nuts the entire time. I was like, just put the bar into the fitting.

28:05Ben Mandelker: So Taylor's like, oh my God, this is great. Like, God, you should have paid someone to put this together. And she was like, yeah, usually you have dad do this stuff. And how much is rent, by the way? And Kelsey's like, I'm not paying for it. Like, what? You're not paying for it? Who's paying for it? Well, I mean, who do you think is paying for it? My ex. And you see Julie's face, the mom, just be like. It's like, oh, geez.

28:29Ronnie Karam: she's like your ex is paying for how come you didn't tell me she's like because you're so nosy mom she goes well does he pay anything else my health insurance my car insurance girl do you know that list is longer the phone is on there for sure for sure everything yeah and julie's julie's like wait can i sit i'm just gonna watch you this is very it's it's hard enough watching you try to put that thing together okay so she's like yeah it's the first time i've lived on my own. I haven't had bills in 10 years. So my ex is offering to pay my apartment. What am I going to say? No.

29:06Ben Mandelker: That's correct. That is correct. You have won the challenge. The answer is you say no. You say no and you get a job.

29:13Ronnie Karam: Work at Audrey's Coffee Shop. Get the free shit all you want to but don't walk around with like, I'm an independent woman. Exactly. You're still kept. It's just, you know, a different kind.

29:24Ben Mandelker: And honestly, there's nothing wrong with being kept, but if you are like, Saying how you want to be more independent, yada, yada, yada. I think this is really good for her to start getting her own place and everything. Now let's make some more strides towards independence. So her mom is clearly visually upset. And Kelsey says, I mean, this is not something I expect to keep paying forever. Just because I wasn't married doesn't mean that I'm not entitled to support from somebody who I spent 10 years of my life with. And I could have moved into Bill's house and I didn't want to. I wanted to feel what it's like to live on my own.

30:00Ben Mandelker: I needed to do it on my own. And by on my own, I mean have my ex pay for it.

30:05Ronnie Karam: Yeah, it makes me crazy when she says entitled. She says it a lot. Like, I'm entitled to this. No, you are not. That's crazy. That's crazy to me. But, you know, on the other hand, good for her. I think she just kind of gets on my nerves in general. So I'm like, oh, God.

30:22Ben Mandelker: My problem is that she's just not funny enough. You know, you often say this, Ronnie, be funny. And I just feel like she's just kind of like a wet blanket every time she comes on the screen. And then she wants us to feel bad about this ridiculous situation that she's in. I'm like, if you were funny or campy, I'd be like, yes, live your life, queen. But she's just this sad sack person who doesn't know how to live in the real world. I'm just like, I don't even know how she's... I mean, I know why she's on the show. It's because she has this crazy romantic situation. but like beyond that there's like not it feels like there's not a lot of there there with kelsey

31:01Ronnie Karam: yeah for sure so yeah it's amazing the stuff you you kind of celebrate and people you like and then disdain people that you do not like i think that's what we're seeing here because i'm like oh god shut her you're not entitled to crap get a job if you if she was funny and fabulous i'd be like she deserves everything yeah like wait you're everything you can out of that man

31:23Ben Mandelker: It was Martha Sitwell. I'd be like, you get three estates, ma 'am, because of what you put up with. But it's her. I'm like, oh, please get a job at Costco. I don't know. I don't want to hear it.

31:39Ronnie Karam: Yeah. So she's like, well, you know, I do kind of want to still get married, but I'm just going to wait for the right person. You know, I wasn't just going to leave for anybody. And so they're like, well, do you see it with Billy? You see a future with Billy? she's like yeah and here he comes here's billy everybody he brought over tools he's like i don't want to take over please take over because watching the shelf be put together is painful take it over okay do it yeah and the the uh the caption said bill billy kelsey's only boyfriend

32:10Ben Mandelker: and only was in parentheses so shady so um he's like hey what's going on i'm gonna put together this random, random shelf thing. And Kelsey's like, oh my God, like I'm Bob the Builder, huh? My parents never approved of my relationship with my ex. They definitely accepted to a certain degree and they knew he wasn't going to give me a baby. And that to my mother is the Holy Grail. Like also because like you seem unhappy, like it's all over your face. You seem like someone who is very sad and they probably don't like seeing their daughter sad. So Billy starts building the shelf and he's like, oh my God, this is driving me nuts.

32:44Ben Mandelker: I got to fix this. and they're like, oh my God, thank you, Billy, for coming to save it. So Kelsey says, the last thing I want at this very moment is to blow up like a tick and be pregnant. I mean, I don't think I want to blow up ever, to be honest. I want to be on my own. I want to feel like what it feels like to be independent for at least a year. So you know what? Mom needs to slow her roll.

33:05Ronnie Karam: Yeah, so she's like 30, right, Kelsey? She's really young for her house. She was dating like a 37-year-old when she was like 20 or something. So, yeah, I think that's probably why your mom never liked Dina. It's like, wow, my daughter's dating an old man Coke dealer. Sounds great. Wish you the best, honey. Which, by the way, he got arrested this week for dealing Coke. In case anyone's wondering what I'm talking about. You did? You know, yeah. Jeez. He got charges brought against him for dealing Coke this week. So, she's like, oh, Billy, you're going to pay? He's like, yeah, she wants a Bentley.

33:43Ronnie Karam: so then we go over to ashley's and um ashley's son is alive you guys so it worked out dawson's okay dawson is okay everybody uh but he does have a little breathing apparatus on his face he's so cute so he apparently has like some breathing thing going on and um had to go to the hospital which is why she left the boat last time and um she's like mom can you take dawson downstairs because I've got to do an ad, okay? So, like, thank you for bringing him down, Mom. Dawson, love you. Love you, Dawson. He's like, where are you going? She's like, I'm an influencer, okay? I'm going to influence.

34:20Ben Mandelker: So then she's talking to her sister, Lizzie, and she's like, oh, my God, I didn't even tell you. My Newport trip with the ladies, the trip was, like, overall pretty fun. Like, we had a gigantic slide, so that was pretty cool. And Lizzie's like, oh, wow, cool slide story. Do you feel like you're, like, more assimilated now? Was the slide, did that help? with assimilation. She's like, yeah, I'm getting there for sure. I just need to like get some spray tans and, um, saying some dumber shit and I should probably fit in pretty well. It's like, Oh, good. So she says, um, she's like, yeah, I had a pretty good time on this trip, making friends here in Rhode Island.

34:52Ben Mandelker: I feel like I'm like inching my way closer, like coming to hang out sometimes, you know, and I'm like, why are you crying? Why are you crying again?

35:00Ronnie Karam: Well, I'd love you to help me shoot a reel. Cause like Jared's gone and I have a reel to do. and it's like for a house fragrance company so let's do it okay so okay you know like we're i just want him to do more organic content like i'd really like him to try and find his niche on instagram you know because like he's hot and he should use that you know so like i need him back from audrey's the coffee shop so lizzie is helping her so she holds up a ring light and a phone and she's like okay guys i'm gonna influence you on smells this one is cinnamon cider then this one is um pumpkin spice poop and this one is honey crisp um whatever it's fall harvest sense she goes oh my god i didn't record it's like oh my god i have to do that again that's like so hard actually you literally just picked shit up and read off the labels you'll survive this

35:55Ben Mandelker: please and like please i like you're not going to see me ever have those scents in my house i'll tell you that right now oh my god like cinnamon cider again i'm so emotional um every single

36:07Ronnie Karam: scent might have just been might as well have just been called like basic white lady basic

36:14Ben Mandelker: just start calling them just start naming them after like the secret lives of mormon wives Like this one is the Michaela. This one is the Demi.

36:25Ronnie Karam: Every candle has its hair parted down the middle.

36:29Ben Mandelker: Are those candles doing dances? So now we go over to Joellen. And she's with her mom and sister. And they're walking around her grandfather's house. And she's having flashbacks. I had a flashback because I saw the stove I used to have. that yellow, that weird like kind of puke yellow stove, that like electric stove with the push buttons. I was like, I literally had that in one of my first apartments out here. And so she's getting, yeah, yeah, it was crazy. So she's like, oh my God, like we had so many Christmases and family events here. This is crazy. Oh, and here comes my bitch mom. And so Nancy comes and she's like, hello, how's everyone doing?

37:09Ben Mandelker: Wow, looks great. Oh God, what a fucking bitch. You know, my grandfather was always a father figure to me. So it's going to be hard going in there without him anymore. Nancy's like, yeah, memories. So they walk around remembering things, and they're feeling sad.

37:25Ronnie Karam: And Joellen's like, yeah, I'd love for my mom to be the way my grandpa was, but my mom wasn't maternal, nor was my grandmother. So now they sit on the front stoop, and they're looking at photos. And they see one of a long time ago, and she's dressed like a nun. Joellen is dressed like a nun. She goes, yeah, because I was an angel, Ma. And Jen's like, yeah, look at you with Bill Clinton, Ma. And Joanne's like, did he try to hook up with you, Ma? She's like, no, no, come on, guys. So they're looking at these pictures and stuff. And Nancy's like, oh, God, you think I'm mean? And Joanne's like, you weren't nice.

38:03Ronnie Karam: I'll say that. She goes, well, Jen likes me at least. And she goes, yeah, but you weren't nice growing up, Ma. She goes, oh, and you were nice? She goes, I'm not the parent, Ma. You know, you should have showed me how to be respectful and kind. because now I'm not, and I hate that about me. I'm a bitch, and it's your fault.

38:18Ben Mandelker: You get that from me? I mean, if the shoe fits well, it wouldn't fit your slutty foot. See, that's what I'm saying, Ma. Oh, God, now. Well, she's saying I was mean, right, Jen? Back me up. You're the good one. You're the one who likes me. Back me up. She's like, okay, Ma. You make believe like you didn't hurt me my whole life. She's like, well, you're blaming me for the behaviors you exhibited in your childhood? I mean, what child blames their parents for being fucked up? I've never heard anything like this before.

38:42Ronnie Karam: And Jamal is like, That's not what I said, Ma. You sent me away in seventh grade and then eighth grade and then ninth grade. I mean, what's the worst thing that I did? And she goes, Joellen, your behavior was out of control. She goes, no. You were like, she's better off in somebody else's hands. She goes, the lies? What about the lies? She goes, about what, Ma? About being with people you weren't supposed to be with? She goes, with boys. Right, Ma? Well, that's what teenagers do. And you would always say, you're bipolar, you're this. I'm not bipolar, okay? I was depressed as a child. That's not like something you send your kid to a place with, like drug addicts.

39:13Ronnie Karam: when I had never done drugs.

39:15Ben Mandelker: I don't know. Last time you said you were going to hang out with Richie Zambino and then I looked down and there's a picture of you with Bill Clinton. How am I supposed to deal with that? Okay, I'm sending you away. I don't like that. The lies. I'm telling you so many lies. But you know what? I apologize now if I hurt you. I didn't do it intentionally. I just did it so I could watch Wheel of Fortune and Peace for once in my life. Okay? I try to get, you know, a lot of times I had too much on my plate at one time and it was just, it was overwhelming. But why didn't you love me? I loved you. And if I didn't show, it's because it's how I was raised.

39:47Ben Mandelker: Okay, I can do it too. You wanna do it? I'll do it too. Let me give you an example of me growing up. This is how my mom treated me. Okay, one night they surprised us. They came home early and I ran up the stairs and I hit my head, my eye on the headboard and I was bleeding all over the place. And you know what my mother said? She said, my flaws, my flaws. I just had them clean my flaws, not my eyes. And I'm bleeding. I had to get six stitches. She didn't say anything about my eyes. you know she was like i you're gonna try to guilt me but guess what i i've been through the same

40:14Ronnie Karam: shit too yeah and she's like and so the sister goes so you didn't feel loved do you think you kind of became your mom she's like well i do think i was like my mom you know that's how i was brought up that's how i was bringing you up and i did try to change as i got older at least she's like well you did the best you could ma you know but we had a tough tough childhood and there's you know the points there was no way out and joan was like yeah i felt the same way like i don't think you realize the person you shaped who we became no matter how much therapy i've had i feel like i'm broken now all of this i really needed more for the mom like for me this was the mom's audition because i kind of stood up for the mom because to me it was like well you say you didn't you know in in every kid's mind it's like i was innocent and my parent was mad at me but like what did you do to get sent to this thing?

41:02Ronnie Karam: You know, and people kind of get mad at me for saying that. But to me, it's just like cause and effect. Like I did this. So then this happened. So what did you do for this thing to happen? Right. And no, I mean, I need you to come in here, Nancy, and I need you to be like, all right, listen, you killed the cat, you know, or you, you were murdering bunnies or like you, you lied about a gluten intolerance for your whole life and I had to learn how to make gluten-free things and I found out you were lying. I mean, something dramatic and horrible that would necessitate you sending your kid to a hospital.

41:38Ronnie Karam: You have nothing. You have no dramatic story, Nancy. So I officially have to apologize because I was like, surely the mom can't be this fucked up and crazy. And the mom is. The mom is like, I had a lot on my plate, so I sent you away. are you kidding get her a job I mean what other parents child labor that's how most of us deal with this okay

42:02Ben Mandelker: maybe Nancy was just caught off guard because she's like I thought we were just gonna gather my dead dad's belongings but that's okay I'm happy to sit here and learn that I've fucked up my children I will great on TV sure her so maybe she wasn't able to pull up some great examples but i i am i am with you on this one like where was the i was waiting i was waiting for the well joelle and you you lit our family cat on fire i was like i was ready yeah i was i need something i mean to send your kid away three times at one

42:40Ronnie Karam: time for a year to a rehab place when she wasn't even on drugs i mean that's already crazy on the face of it but to have nothing except you lied about being with boys is that's nuts nancy damn

42:52Ben Mandelker: it is funny that like that's that's joellen's biggest offense is that she was like too promiscuous and then she has a photo of bill clinton is but wasn't it the mom hilarious no i thought it was joellen bill clinton oh i thought it was the mom it was hilarious i mean it's hilarious um so nancy's like well it doesn't make me feel good to know that i've done the damage that I've done and it breaks my heart and I promise to give it all to try and be a better parent and be there for you and your children beyond what I already do which is babysitting every other weekend but anyway apparently that's not good enough so I'll keep on working hard and John's like I need you to realize that you have two daughters and three grandchildren who need you it's not about babysitting it's about spending time isn't that babysitting no and let like let's learn how to cook let's do things together I don't know I need you to be there for me.

43:43Ronnie Karam: Well, one thing I did teach them, I said, when you got 30 fingers, wipe it on the carpet. Nobody will notice. Ma!

43:52Ben Mandelker: So it's you after all. You know, for my mom to say to me, I want to be a better mother and better grandmother to me, to my kids, I have been waiting my whole entire life for that. I'm like so happy, but I do reserve the right to complain about my mother for the rest of the season. Thank you.

44:10Ronnie Karam: Yeah.

44:10Ben Mandelker: And in perpetuity.

44:13Ronnie Karam: shoes. Here comes one right now.

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45:04Ronnie Karam: so now um liz arrives at the marijuana lab hey sean your director of lab operations working on a gummy eye yeah so they're all in their scientist gear like we're scientists making gummies

45:23Ben Mandelker: and liz like gary and i own a cannabis dispensary and we developed so many products not only THC, but all the compounds of the plant. I'm so excited for my friend Dolores to see the lab because she's never been back here before. So Dolores shows up like, hello, this is Dolores. I'm here to look at marijuana plant making. What is this?

45:45Ronnie Karam: I can't even get in. It's so difficult. Barely. Barely made it. So she comes in.

45:53Ben Mandelker: This is like Frankie's door when he has a female guest over. Can't get in. I guess the only thing that's missing is a sack.

46:02Ronnie Karam: So she is checking out this candy or this gummy or whatever that they're making for menopause. Now, they don't tell us what they're doing to this to make it menopause gummy. I think they're just like, here's some weed that'll help you with your menopause. Because I don't know that there's like a special formulation. But I guess weed just helps with everything, really. Just take it for anything. Just label anything on there. Just put like psoriasis gummy. Boom. It helps your psoriasis feel better. It's a gummy. It's marijuana. It's going to help. Yeah. So it's like this blue gummy that turns everyone's tongues blue.

46:41Ben Mandelker: Like that's true. That's exactly what you, the irony, the irony of like entering this new stage of your life, this like new stage of maturity while you're having these gummies that make you look like you're 11 year old at sleepaway camp. just having like a popsicle. But, but then they take it. And Liz tells us actually that Rhode Island is the first state in the U S to make menopausal women, a protected class in the workplace, which I think is really cool. So, and we see some headlines too, because why not? So they love the flavor of this gummy. It was like, this is really good. This is perfect.

47:16Ben Mandelker: It's actually delicious. It's actually perfect. Like, don't even touch it. You know, Sean, get over here. Don't touch this. Don't even change a single, not a single flavor. Keep the flavor exactly the same. You know what I want to do with this flavor? Nothing. I don't even want to look at this. I don't even want to touch it anymore because it's so perfect. Get it on my site. Don't do anything to it.

47:33Ronnie Karam: Some of them start talking about how menopause hit them. And Liz is like, menopause, I didn't even recognize myself. You know, I mean, did I get a new face? Sure. But, you know, that took a minute. But, you know, I was doing things that were crazy. I was walking a cat on a leash. I was drinking out of goblets from medieval times. I mean, who the hell was that? You're still doing all that stuff. Well, it's still going. Give me a gummy. Give me a gummy.

47:59Ben Mandelker: Yeah, well, you know what? It's so funny because me and Paul literally almost broke up over menopause. We were fist fighting over the thermostat. Oh, my God. The change. The change. You never even heard of menopause. Oh, my God. The change. Let's be honest. I haven't felt this good in a long time because guess what? I'm getting high. I'm high right now because now they're high on the gummies.

48:20Ronnie Karam: Fence to high. Those must be really good. It usually takes a while. But they're like, oh, I'm high now. Menopause. Who remembers menopause? So now we go to Rula's, and they are preparing the dining room for some guests. It's going to be a double date night.

48:36Ben Mandelker: By the way, I didn't like this because Rula says something like, oh, my God. The dining room. We're using the big dining room. We only use this like three times a year. I'm like, lady, the last time you shot us, the group scene in your house was in the dining room. Okay, I'm paying attention. I'm paying attention. You're not.

48:53Ronnie Karam: This dining room chandelier is so tacky. I could not with a chandelier in the dining room. It looks like kind of a big diamond toilet paper roll. I don't know what the hell it's supposed to be, but it was making me crazy. So she's like, does this look even, babe? This is where some of my OCD sets in. I'm ready for a cocktail. It's me, Fumrula.

49:21Ben Mandelker: He's like, well, let's wait for them. because they'd be ignorant if we start drinking. It's like drinking before they walk in. I'm like, I think you meant to say indignant, not ignorant, but that's okay. So they go into the kitchen and Rula tells us, you know, we're having Billy and Alicia over for dinner. I'm excited to have some company and let loose. Look at me, letting loose. I'm already feeling pretty loose. I mean, I was very sick in bed and between my hospital visits, it's been more than a minute since I had a drink. There was a joke in there. No one's left. You didn't get the joke? Because more than a minute?

49:55Ben Mandelker: Oh, I forgot to set it up. Okay, anyway, fun ruler. Fun ruler here.

50:00Ronnie Karam: I love Newport. It's one of my favorite places to spend time. So I feel like I really missed out a little bit. But there's so much negative energy surrounding Joellen and some of the friends in the group. Would I have been excited to be trapped in a castle with a couple of nights with the group? Probably not. I'd rather be in my own castle.

50:22Ben Mandelker: there was a joke see that was that was the joke actually you guys want to laugh

50:27Ronnie Karam: so then alicia and hill arrive i'm still waiting for fabulous ruler to show up because they still make it they're like ruler isn't here where's ruler oh my god it's a scene with ruler she's like i love newport but i'd rather be in my own castle

50:44just just like a sad robot um god she is a walking menopause gummy you know she's like

50:53Ronnie Karam: i don't know if she's taking too many of those gummies i don't know what she is

50:57Ben Mandelker: so billy and alicia arrive and alicia's like i love hanging out with willa but i don't want to give her the bad news about the video i feel like being a house i want to die i feel like carrying a poster. I don't know. I know. I'm just like, I know what you did last week. Okay. I saw the time and the date. I just, I can't hide it. Like my face shows everything. So they get in and Brian's like, oh my God, come on in. Hey, we're using the company room. We've only used it three times in the past five years. Only three times. I'm like, I know you used it when those ladies came over. So Alicia is like, I just feel uneasy because I really want to enjoy Brian and Rula and I want them to work on the marriage but I just feel like I'm tired.

51:37Ronnie Karam: It's like, oh, God, I'm going to get yelled at for eating too much. This food looks so good. It's like, tonight we're here for manja, manja, manja. By the way, how's Pizza Mama? And Brian's like, I can tell it's not from a can because I don't get hot by eating a piece, even at midnight when I come home. You know, podiatrists, always at work till midnight.

52:02Ben Mandelker: All those late-night surgeries for those bunions. Yep. he's told Rula, yeah, sorry, I always have to work late. It's just the life of being on emergency podiatry calls. So Rula's like, yeah, he wouldn't lie. Trust me. He wouldn't lie about this. It's like, mm-hmm. So Alicia's like, yeah, I need to get Botox. But like, I don't know when to fit into my schedule because I just, you know, I got to drive over some bridges apparently. But I was like, oh yeah, oh yeah. Hey, do you do that? You got a place, right? We'll do your podiatry. He's like, yeah, we do everything. not only do we get rid of your corns but we also do Botox fillers used cars we sell those as well we also we got some lean cuisines in the back that we sell to people whatever you need we got it

52:47Ronnie Karam: Botox and bunions come to me and Alicia's like oh wow I didn't know that wow you guys wow that's incredible wow what a business wow plus I'll charge you less and Alicia goes do you go do you go to him and Rilla's like of course I do have you seen my face move once ever it's like you're so lucky like you know what i'm getting fat off the pizza restaurants like at least when i get botox like you know that that does it does have calories right does botox have calories

53:16Ben Mandelker: yeah you know what she laughs at me like a genetically modified organism she's like i feel like i'm getting fat so i sell a zempic so i'll take a little zempic i feel like uh like i lost a little muscle so i take steroids i feel like i need a little botox every day i'm doing a little something so she goes did you do something and i'm like yeah i see i sell this shit might as well do it you know i've been on ozempic for two years i'm macrodosa you know that's all i do i'm like please like there just could not be any more writing on the wall that this man is having an affair when he says yeah she laughs at me like i'm some genetically

53:55Ronnie Karam: modified organism you look like a genetically modified organism you look like something was put into the petri dish that just isn't right you just see the the cell just like morphing you know

54:05Ben Mandelker: he looks like a botox capybara so alicia is like wow this is incredible information and he was like i think the two shots of tequila he took before you guys have got to him yeah i'm dropping science

54:18Ronnie Karam: on you i'm dropping science on you ozempic that's some real science right there yeah you know what like i'm having science class right now like i'm so jealous okay by the way can i ask you a question It's your husband. Why are you jealous? You don't need Ozempic. I almost did it. I almost got it out there. Damn it.

54:36Ben Mandelker: And then, beep, beep, So Brian gets a text message. He goes, uh, hey, can I go to the bathroom to answer this text message? Very important. That has to be received in the bathroom, even though there's many other rooms in this house. So, and by the way, when he gets the text message, he looks down and he looks right at the camera, like, then he like looks away. Did you notice that?

54:58Ronnie Karam: did you clock it with right the camera yes he's always so fucking guilty he's like ding oh oh oh gotta go uh gotta go to the bathroom room oh oh oh gotta go okay uh i'll be okay sorry guys sorry guys i had a work call to take you had a work call to take but it's all good we can have some fun now and lisa's like wait i thought he went to the bathroom though but like maybe someone's having a problem with their foot you know i don't know i give this too much this guy too much credit God.

55:24Ben Mandelker: Everyone dig in so the food doesn't get called. Manja, manja, manja. Oh, hey, that's not vodka, is it, Brian? And he's like, well, of course it is. I'm home. I don't have much far to drive. I'm totally, everything's fine. Everything's fine. Everything's totally chill. I'm not sweating. You're sweating. Alicia's like, so how long did you guys date before you got married? It's like three years, three exciting years. Brian, tell them the story.

55:49Ronnie Karam: Ah, we got married. I never stopped dating.

55:54Ronnie Karam: tell me the other story brian okay okay okay it's interesting it's interesting all right so we met in 2013 and what happened was i met her at jackie's and i said hey what do you want to drink i order my drink and when i order hers i make sure hers is a double i tell the guy make it a double okay so every time we get around i'm having one drink she's having two drinks so before you know it. She's shit-faced. And look, it worked out pretty well. God, date rape. What a romantic story, huh?

56:23Ben Mandelker: I was like, I don't think this is as romantic as you think it is. Yeah. So, uh, Alicia's like, I don't want to tell Woola about this video, especially after hearing such a lovely story. And I don't want her to tell, I don't want to tell her next week either. I can't do it. I can't. I can't. I can't do it. I can't. I, like, call me a bad friend, but, like, for not telling her right away. But, like, I don't have it in me. I can't. Look at them. They're like destined to be. Like she drank twice as much as him and wasted, passed out. And then he made her fall in love with her. How could they disrupt a love story like that?

57:00Ronnie Karam: So Brian tells us another great story. He's like, yeah, you know, I used to like my steak medium rare, but then I started operating and the smell of blood messed it up for me. Because a filet mignon, that's like an Achilles tendon. Rilla's like, Brian, they're never going to come over again. Oy.

57:18Ben Mandelker: so now we go to the main event, which already we've had kind of two main events, I would have to say, with the mom conversation and that dinner, but now we have a rainy day, and Kelsey is driving her car, and she calls up Billy, and she's saying how she's going to go to Rosie's house, and she's going to cut Rosie's hair, and she's like, oh my God, we're in such a better place, and we're friendly now, and so he's like, yeah, this is good. It'll be a nice icebreaker, you cutting her hair, and she's like, Yeah, it's going to be in the comfort of our own home. And, you know, I don't hold grudges. And not only do I like glamming myself, I do like glamming other people and making them feel beautiful.

57:55Ben Mandelker: So I think it's just a good way to build a connection with her. You know, get to know her.

58:00Ronnie Karam: Yeah. So then we go to Rosie's, and she has a big pink neon sign that says, My happy place. So Rosie's talking to Clemmie. She's like, you're going to be nice to the friend when my friend comes over? And she calls Rich. and um he's like i just got the to cabo and she's like well kelsey's gonna come over so okay i put the plan on the counter so i'm gonna show her i'm gonna be like oh my god you're here well here's our house plans what do you think about that bitch okay so he's like okay well you know hopefully clemming likes it because clemming likes everybody so she's like what's up with this bitch i don't know you know what i mean clemmy's like i just want to nap so um so anyway

58:44Ben Mandelker: Meanwhile, Kelsey's coming and she's explained to Billy that like now that she's in a good place with Rosie, you know, she's just going to like, you know, make a joke about like the square footage and everything, you know, like a joke about how I was calling her out and everything. So now we can joke about it because we're past it. Right. So now here comes Kelsey and she drives up in her Land Rover and she has like a like a like a sound system on it. And she starts hitting the button to make it. They go bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop. It's like making siren noises, but it's really, really loud. And she has like the megaphone or the loudspeaker attached.

59:19Ben Mandelker: And she's like, it's the house police, the square footage police or whatever. And Rosie's like, what the fuck is that? And like, she's like 8 ,000 square feet,

59:30Ronnie Karam: more like 8 ,000 square inches. Bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop.

59:38Ben Mandelker: And the dog is freaking out because these are loud noises. And Rosie's like, what and kelsey's like oh my god and like you know it it's like definitely like a shitty joke but like i also think that like kelsey was like laughing she's like she's like isn't this so funny because we can laugh about this now and rosie's like no we're not we're not at that place yet

59:59Ronnie Karam: no no and it just keeps going and going because rosie doesn't really get it she's like what is that noise so she comes out to look and kelsey just keeps going she's like bloop bloop bloop your house is tiny i'm here i'm the tiny house police you're lying about the square footage

1:00:21Ben Mandelker: this goes for like five minutes kelsey definitely thought she was having some sort of moment like a like when they pranked karen huger you know with the pizza or i don't know it feels like something heather gay might do to lisa barlow or who knows what like or whitney rose might do like this is definitely a heather gay thing to do yeah she thought she was having a funny housewife housewives moment but rosie was like no we're we're not quite at laughing moments yet although i am about to shade you with these plans but either way we're not there yet and she is so mad

1:00:57Ronnie Karam: she gets so pissed and she's like i live in a very nice community with a no siren ordinance you can't just be like blasting sirens so um uh kelsey's like i just had to bust balls and she's like oh god you know so let's let's show her all the plans then okay she goes oh wow thanks for putting that on display she goes yeah well i had to because you drove in and you said 8 000 square feet which was the number in february and this is the number now go measure it do you want to measure it okay you're the one who wants to measure it so bad why don't you just measure it why don't you do

1:01:30Ben Mandelker: that she gives her the measuring tool you know like this big measure and kelsey's like thanks and rosie goes i don't know what i'm i don't know what i'm doing and kelsey is like well should we do it after the haircut she's i mean if you want we could do it now it might rain so maybe we should do it now and kelsey's like i'm good with the i'm good okay and i trust these plans yeah okay i trust it at this point kelsey should have said sorry i was i thought i was just trying to make a joke about this, but it's not landing well. I didn't really mean it like this deep. And Rosie's like, so what's the issue with the square footage, by the way?

1:02:04Ben Mandelker: Because I said it was going to be 8 ,000 in February, and now it's 5 ,000. Like, what's the deal?

1:02:10Ronnie Karam: And Kelsey's like, Rosie, relax. I'm fine. She goes, I mean, what a weird thing to do. Like, honestly, I don't like that. I don't like it. And Kelsey's like, whoa, I thought I could joke with her. But I thought we were at a level where we could just like chill. She needs to take a pill. So Rosie's like, you already attacked my house and my character and like literally everything about me. Like Rosie Rosie is not ready to get her hair cut. She was like we are going to fight. These are my house plans and you were wrong beyond.

1:02:37Ben Mandelker: You played the siren sound effect in my neighborhood and that's crossing the line. Rosie's like this is such a nice neighborhood and you're like 8 ,000 square feet, 8 ,000 square feet. Kelsey's like Rosie it was a joke. I was showing you my police radar. I thought it was funny. I was making a joke. I was being lighthearted. Well I don't think it's that funny actually. You know the funny joke proves that you are not trying to move this funny joke proves that you're not trying to move forward with me you just want to make fun of me and now you're coming to my house and you're going to do it again seriously it's fucked up rosie's really on one i'm surprised she got this piss but she was

1:03:11Ronnie Karam: ready to go my god yeah kelsey's like i thought it was funny she's yeah well i'll show her these plans you can see for yourself you know ask me questions and you guys talk behind my fucking back all the time she's and she's like instead you're driving here and you're at saying eight thousand square feet like where the fuck is your house kelsey where the fuck is yours you know and at least i'm on the deed of this fucking house like where are you just okay you're being very

1:03:35Ben Mandelker: aggressive i'm being aggressive you came in with a fucking siren yeah i did it because it's funny it's not funny laugh yes it is after everything you've fucking done you think this is funny what did i do to you what have i done to you bitch i literally have done nothing to you are Are you fucking kidding me right now? I'm sorry I called you a fucking polygamist at a picnic. Okay, when you have a boyfriend fucking another girlfriend, that's polyamory. That's polygamy. Get the fuck out of my house. I'm so over you. By the way, that's the funniest thing, which is, okay, well, I'm sorry I called you a polygamist.

1:04:09Ronnie Karam: I'm sorry I called you a fucking polygamist at a picnic.

1:04:13Ben Mandelker: What have I ever done to you except called you a polygamist instead of polyamorous? I'm sorry.

1:04:20Ronnie Karam: this is so fucked and that wasn't nice and i'm so tired of it and you said so fucking much this whole summer get the fuck out of my house and she goes okay i will then i will stop fucking talking get your shit and get out of my house who do you think you're talking to i think i'm talking to you

1:04:36Ben Mandelker: and you are no one you are literally fucking no one you are no one so then kelsey like sort of sort of moves her arm to be like like move away and then uh don't touch me again don't ever fucking touch me again you're literally no one talk to me when you have a house talk to me when you have a husband talk to me when you have a fucking career you don't have any of that you don't have a career sucking dick is not a fucking career bitch shut the fuck up i mean it can be first of all it can

1:05:02Ronnie Karam: be yeah don't shame us don't shame of us some of those some of us have a career that entails that okay ma 'am and clemmy's just like it's like the only thing you've ever done in your fucking life You didn't even win. Your fucking sugar daddy had to pay the fucking judges. So shut the fuck up and get out of my house.

1:05:22Ben Mandelker: I want it. And Rosie goes, yeah, you want it. You want it. You want it. Get out of my house. Here, I'll help you. I'm so fucking done with you. So she picks up her bag of like, you know, hair tools and everything. And Rosie's like, that was so fucking rude what you just did. You come to my house and you do that. That was so fucking rude. They're going down the stairs. Rosie's going down the staircase and Kelsey's like no and so they're both holding this like backpack bringing it down the stairs together. She's like I can do it myself

1:05:50Ronnie Karam: Like her little rolly suitcase thing. She's like get the fuck out of my house. You're not welcome here you bitch I'm fucking tired of you and you're fucking click. I'm tired of you. You're not welcome So she throws her stuff outside and then she shoves past Kelsey back inside and she's like get out of my house And so she slams the door on Kelsey while she's trying to come in and the producers have to intervene because it's going so crazy and it's like i'm over it i'm just over in and kelsey's like oh you know what i'm going back in so she goes back in and the producer by the way who just tried to stop it is holding the door open for her like okay she's like come back in

1:06:24Ben Mandelker: right again rosie by the way i won the pageant fair it's square i don't suck dick for a living actually kelsey everybody in rhode island knows you married men every single person you're a fucking slam pig don't ever fucking come for me again you're a slam pig get the fuck out of my house do you want me to call the police it's like oh you think you're all tough you think you're all

1:06:46Ronnie Karam: tough it's like you're i think you're a fucking bitch is what you are you're a bitch and nobody cares get out of my house slam pig you liar get out of my house ah i will fuck off you're such a fucking loser what a bitch wow rosie came in too hot don't you think it's like whoa whoa whoa

1:07:05Ben Mandelker: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. She came in really, really hot for sure. I do think that Kelsey was trying to be funny and like Rosie was clearly prepared. They both were trying to be shady towards each other, but Rosie just was like in no mood for it. And Rosie just gathered her and was like, I mean, Rosie went there. She came in too hot, but it was really funny.

1:07:30Ronnie Karam: Yeah, it was funny.

1:07:31Ben Mandelker: What a fun episode. It was great. It was a great fight. Great little fight there between the two of them.

1:07:35Ronnie Karam: Yeah, good times.

1:07:37Ben Mandelker: And now I've learned what Slam Pig means. I had never even heard of Slam Pig, but apparently somebody's only used for sex.

1:07:43Ronnie Karam: I looked it up myself. There it is.

1:07:48Ben Mandelker: Thanks everyone for being here. We appreciate you and we'll catch you on the next episode of Watch What Crappens. Bye y 'all. Bye. Watch What Crappens would like to thank its premium sponsors. She answered the call. It's Adia Paul Ain't no thing like Alison King Our way is the Amber way It's the Foster and the Furious It's Amanda Foster It's Always Automatic with Ashley Otto Put your hands together for Carly Clapp Get on the right foot with Chrissy Offord

1:08:18Ronnie Karam: She's not just a Sheila She's a Daniela We never miss her call It's Diane Call Sunday in the Park with Dylan Clark Big Yay, it's Emily Gauthier

1:08:28Ben Mandelker: Erin McNicholas She don't miss no trick-a-less You'll never hide from Heidi Eleanor Jones. I go, you go, we all go for Hugo. Jamie, she has no less namey.

1:08:39Ronnie Karam: Sips some scotch with Jessica Trotch. She's a total knockout, it's Katie Manoch.

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1:08:47Ronnie Karam: Kristen the Piston Anderson. Que sera, sera, whatever we'll be, we'll Lauren Sillsby. She gets an A from us, it's Lindsay D. Let's give a kisserino to Lisa Lino. Fresh as a daisy, it's Maisie McHenry. Megan Berg. You can't have a burger without the Berg.

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1:09:12Ronnie Karam: Yes, we can-a. It's Sadana.

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1:09:25Ben Mandelker: Somebody get us 10 cc's of Betsy MD.

1:09:28Ronnie Karam: We're taking the gold with Brenda Silva. Let's get real with Caitlin O 'Neill. Put us on a stretcher. It's Charlotte Fletcher. Hogle your horses. It's Christine Hogle. Don't get salty with Christine Pepper. Can't have a meal without the Emily sides.

1:09:43Ben Mandelker: Who, what, why, where, and Gwen Pentland. Nobody holds a candle to Jamie Kendall. We got our wish. It's Jen Plisch. Have a kebab with K-Rob. My favorite Murdo, Karen McMurdo. Let's get savage with Laura Wildman. In the study, with a candlestick, it's Leslie Peacock. We're ride or die for Lisa Ryder Barron. She's a whiz, it's Liz Sarthy. Always killing it, it's Loa Alkalani. Roger that, it's Marlis Rogers.

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1:10:24Ben Mandelker: She's the queen bee, it's Sarah Lemke. We cannot tell a lie. It's Sarah Talafson. Shannon out of a can in Anthony. Please don't stop. It's Soli and Pop. Let's take off with Tam LaPlane. Strike a pose. It's Tori Rose.

1:10:39Ronnie Karam: She ain't no shrinking Violet Kuchar. We love you guys.

1:10:47Ben Mandelker: Ready or not, summer is coming.

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