#3376 The Valley S3E08 Part One: What a Drag

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1:54Watch What Crappens Hello, Bennu. Hi. How's it going? Good. Everything's going well over here. Thank you. Okay. Today is the Valley Day, the happiest show on television. Really want to get married and have a baby after watching this show. Get your tubes tied. This is a public service announcement after watching this show. Good Lord. but before uh we get into that uh our cabaret forbidden housewives is still being written and memorized and uh prayed over deeply yeah it's going to be uh june 3rd and june 5th in new york city it's sold out but there will be live streams those live streams are going to be lit there's three of them there's going to be a little party in each one there will be a chat room and good times happening.

2:48If you want tickets for those, they're available up until showtime, but not afterwards. After that, you will be able to watch it. You know, if you have a ticket, you'll be able to watch it for a week. So go over and get tickets for that at watchwhatcrappens.com. And also, if you want video recaps of all of our shows, or you want bonus episodes, or you want ad-free listening, which is a big one, or you want our free weekly blog recap newsletter thingy, and that's free go over to news go over to news go over to patreon.com slash watch it crap ins sign up for free you'll still get updates on everything we're doing and um hello that's it that's all i have to say today this is super exciting for us because it is a weekend of holidays and monday is that holiday we're not going to be here guess why because we're taking a holiday so we're not going to be here monday the recaps for real housewives of atlanta and of Rhode Island will be updated with the following week's recaps.

3:48Okay, so we hope you all have a safe, wonderful holiday weekend. Because we will. Yeah. Yeah, we're going to be partying slash memorizing songs. Yeah, pretty good. Yeah, so thank you for your patience with that. And now the Valley. You know what I love about the Valley? I think this is maybe the third season in a row where around this part of the season i start to like get excited about the valley and you start to be like this show is so fucking dark i'm like yes yes it is yes you start feeding on the souls that this this show is churning out i am feeding on it i mean i will say i mean at the beginning of this season everyone's like oh my god this season sucks like within like second episode people are like it's terrible it's terrible and i I was like, well, I mean, it's not amazing.

4:42I mean, last season you had Jax as Boogeyman, but like, I hate to say it, but now that we have our new villain in Danny, like the show's kind of come alive a bit, I think. I mean, I've enjoyed the whole season so far in general, but now that there's like an urgency about, oh my goodness, there's this really bad guy on the show again. I find that I'm kind of like watching it in like my eyes are wide open. I'm attached to it. I'm riveted and I'm like, Oh, I'm fired up. So yeah. Hey, listen, I respect, you know, I respect that. And I actually appreciate it because it helps, you know, cause we both can't be bitter Schmitter or it's really toxic to listen to.

5:24I just, I don't find, and I'm not saying you do, but the way I look at it is that I just don't find abusive men entertaining. I just don't find that entertaining. I think Danny is an abusive man. I think he's disgusting. I think he's just unwatchable. And I don't enjoy watching it. And I don't enjoy people enabling it, you know, Kristen, et cetera. I really don't like watching it. I just don't find it entertaining. I didn't find it entertaining with Jax. I don't find it entertaining with Danny. You know, the petty fights and stuff I'm into. But this is just too dark for me. I mean, if I'm going to see an abusive man, it better be on Lifetime where they get their ass stomped.

6:01You know what I mean? I want to see Rob Lowe murdered. get up you know like he you thought he was dead but he's not dead and then he gets murdered again i need like a triple murder of an abusive male if i'm going to be watching these shows so this is just this is too much for me isn't that our role though aren't we what's that aren't we the one who are we're the meredith baxter bernie's yeah aren't isn't it us with the fire poker like doing the stab i mean i think uh i i actually by the way i joking aside i think what you said what you're saying is a completely, I don't want to say a completely valid because that sounds, when people say that's so valid, it actually sounds so insincere.

6:42I think it's like a very legitimate thing to say. Bravo therapy speak. That's valid. Hey, by the way, I learned something today, Lindsay. I learned something. Hey, Ronnie, can we do a check-in? By the way, speaking of therapy speak, Nia, wow. Can we just want to do a check-in? I think it's a totally legitimate thing to say. I would never, ever say that watching these pig men is like, oh, I'm never going to cheer for them, never going to root that on. And I understand what you're saying. You don't even want to really, you don't even enjoy participating in the structures that are keeping them employed.

7:12For me, it's more like I actually find it compelling to watch because these are relationships that people find themselves in quite often. And I find it fascinating to watch it and to dissect it. And then we rewrite the wrongs of the universe because then we all pile in and be like, fuck you. you know, but, uh, for real, I, I find it to be compelling to watch these very human interactions because ultimately, uh, I, I, I will never stand for abuse. I will never stand for the mistreatment of people. Um, but what I, uh, what I do, I think what I stand for on reality TV is I stand for watching real issues and real dynamics.

7:56And that's always compelling to me as opposed to when something not real is happening so it's not like well it's worth it because it's real it's more like that it's on tv i'm like i'm compelled by this dynamic and how everyone deals with it and weighing in on it and i really enjoy the discussions that we all have around it i think it's really fascinating so um it's just sort of a different side of the coin but it's it's not to negate anything that you're saying now yeah look you know we all enjoy what we enjoy i just this is killing me and that's this whole drag thing i just they're just not funny people like they're just not fun enough to pull this off i think like aside from the i think aside from the abusive men thing that they've got going on they've got a problem with just having a lot of uncharismatic people in one place and they're filming it and what are you saying i did gymnastics i will threaten in you with a good time i am full of charisma yeah it's like just put a just put a hidden camera in a food court and let's just watch that you know which actually i probably would enjoy but um you know that's neither here nor there and i also understand if people are listening to a show about a show you're generally listening because you're a fan of the show and it's really not fun to have someone who's just like this show sucks all right i'll talk about it for two hours how much it sucks so i don't want to fall into that either but um it's just you know i normally like this show it's just uh it's a rough it's a rough season for me and i think it's also because it's airing at the same time as other things on bravo that are just equally kind of like you know it really is just a slew of things at one time i mean you've got this you've got um below deck the pigs on below deck and that whole you know like jenna back and forth thing going on and then And it's followed by Southern Hospitality with Emmys, microaggressions that just go on and on and on.

9:53And it's like 13 episodes in a row of this shit. Nobody does anything. And she's still there, still showing up. And so I think the end of the week is starting to like, it's just like a dark cloud at the end of the week. I'm like, oh, my God, geez. Can we lighten up here a little? But I'm going to take my own advice. I'm lighting up because it's a recap day. So let's get to her. Yeah. find the find the joy in these situations yeah you can just unleash unleash and go nuts yeah the fetal position or anything you know but if we're giving if we're if we're going to give like a opening you know how i feel about this show that's how i feel it sucks but we'll have fun doing what we do that's for sure it's the valley season three episode eight misbehavior Yeah.

10:39Well, in case you somehow forgot, we were in the prep stages of this beauty pageant where the men are going to be in drag. And Danny is being a total asshole, a huge, idiotic, annoying asshole, while also wearing a wig that makes him look like Jan Brady, which is funny. He wishes he looked like Jan Brady. Jan Brady was cute. what was jambrady styled hair i should say um but he looks like the talking orange he just in a wig you know he looks like there's like a certain cartoon character this is a great reference by me there's a certain cartoon character that i can't remember his name of that's what he looks like so everyone just think about it um he has a pinched butt face i think he looks like a pinch dimpled butt he's like a rejected smurf um so here's the thing so they are he is being a huge dick a huge dick um you know it's like it's one of those things where at first you thought oh he's he's being jokey competitive he's in character but it's it's teetered out of that into he's just being a dick and he's drunk and everyone's uncomfortable and And Lala basically just told him, like, knock it off.

11:55And then he said, and she said, you know, this is triggering or something. And now he's like, oh, mis-triggered, mis-triggered, mis-triggered, mis-triggered. So he's making fun of her for saying that she's triggered by him. And Lala really does not like that. Yeah. And he's like, oh, Lala, she's triggered, everybody. She's like, okay, Daniel, fucking knock it off, stogs. I'm not fucking with you right now, okay? You're not going to come and be passive-aggressive. Because what happens when you're passive-aggressive? I'm just aggressive, alright bitch You better step off the curb before I curb stomp your ass But I'm Tupac, bitch She's going on her fault There's no aggression here, though There's no aggression, what you talking about?

12:32Don't do that shit to me, Danny It's like, well, you did it to me first She's like, well, you were being aggressive and disrespectful to your wife Hi, okay, take a beat Come on, guys, can we have a check-in? Can we have a check-in? I feel that when you say that It makes me feel, Nia, be quiet with the therapy talk, okay? She's mistriggered over there. But I liked it because Nia was like, take a beat and hear her. And she's like, well, I'm very disrespectful. You know, it's very disrespectful, you know, saying I'm triggered. Instead of being like, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Nia. I'm a little in my feelings and I just want to look good.

13:06You're being passive aggressive and saying, triggered, triggered. And you're mocking me. You're mocking me. And Lee's like, yeah, and she didn't even say anything. Yeah, and you mocked me. And you were very disrespectful to me and I don't like that. And he's like, but you don't even know what happened before it. Danny, just fucking stop. He never stops with the excuses. And then he comes out this week. First of all, he didn't show up for Watch What Happens Live, which was pretty funny because he was supposed to be on. He says, oh, I have this big, huge movie that I'm in. Okay, Danny. So he didn't come to that because he doesn't want to take the public outcry because we all hate his ass now.

13:44And so he's not going to show up. So he's a wuss. And then he puts out this Instagram apology to Nia. Did you see that? Yeah, I did. Or it was page long chat GPT written or Nia GPT, I should say. Yeah. To my dreamies, you know, like, give me a break, Danny. No one's buying it. It was a difficult chapter in my life. Yeah, it was all the things like, I was tired, I was trashed, and I was alcohol, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. It was all the, it was just so, it was just so typical. And of course, he puts it up right after the episode. Immediately doing damage control. But I love when Danny said, you don't know what happened beforehand.

14:22And Lala goes, what could she possibly have done to make you pissed off about a fucking synthetic wig? Exactly. There is just nothing that happened before that could have justified this sort of reaction. He's like, there's nothing about the wig. There's nothing about what had been done. Well, I didn't like the way you were talking to her, so I said something. And he's like, can you hear Lala? Can you just let her express her feelings? Could you just pretend she's not, you know, doing a Tupac impersonation? Just listen. And Danny's like, you don't have the right. You don't have the right to do that.

14:59She's like, clearly I do, because I did it. She does have the right. So Lala says, the vibes I get from Danny's and Nia's feels suffocating to me. Okay? I think there's like a lot that she's pushed under the rug and I feel so badly for her because she moved all the way up to Santa Clarita and still doesn't have enough room for her rug. It's terrible. So Lala. Yeah. Santa Clarita is a big rug to be pushing things under. It's a very, very, very big, uncomfortable rug. Yeah. You know, when people get married, when people do this shit in public and then someone else says something, they're like, this is none of your business.

15:35You mind your own fucking business. You made it my business when you did this in front of me. You know, there was a lady in a ross i think it was a ross i was in a ross dress for less mild mild haunting grounds and my hunting grounds anyway um yeah i was in there one day and this lady was yelling at her kid so bad and then started smacking her kid like hitting the kid and it's like a little kid you know i mean what do you a little kid in a ross like i don't think you're allowed to be well behaved as a little kid in a ross even though well even though adults aren't well behaved in there they just pick up the clothes and they throw them directly on the ground okay we've all been to a ross and she started hitting the kid and i went whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa and then she tried to come at me and she was like you mind your own fucking business and i was like nah this is public ma 'am and i stayed calm until the loss prevention guy came over i was like what the hell you don't get to do you don't get to beat your kid in public and then we're all supposed to stay silent you know it's like i always say it takes a village to raise a kid but it also takes a village to turn feather a bitch so watch it you know i'm the village well your villages you're like our village is stuck in 1600s takes a village but just remember the witch trials happened in the village too exactly do not forget what villages are capable of child beaters could do a lot have you ever read the lottery yeah um so go watch the village not a not a happy movie but also the villages can produce um some uh some very gay music village people can do a lot i'm just saying let's not let's not make villages a one-trick pony villages can also come for you you know what i mean villages villages villages can raise things and they can also destroy things.

17:25That's right. Change things and create culture. Exactly right. It takes a village to do a podcast. I'll tell you that much.

17:36By the way, villagers are so tired. So tired of doing all this stuff for other people. I'm leaving the village. Seriously. Takes a valley. So Lala's like, I don't like what just went down and I didn't like how you tried to mock me. that wasn't okay and he's like no and that's okay well i mean that's not okay it's fine can i do a check-in with something boss can i do a check-in with you and lala's like i'm just trying to convey to you that i don't like it and don't fucking talk to me that way you've got the wrong one you've got the wrong one and lala always does that you've got the wrong one i'm always like okay lala but her doing it to danny was very satisfying to me because it's like that's the thing you know you get your you even the enemy of your enemy kind of thing is your friend i think because I think Lala had a good, good episode.

18:23Honestly, I have to say for all the like anti, anti like Lala on the Valley, no one wants her. I think she's been doing perfectly fine. I have actually no issues with Lala on this show so far. I think she's, she's spoken up about the things that she should speak up about. She's advocated for things. She's gotten into the mix. Tom Schwartz, on the other hand, waste of space. I don't, I don't know what this Rick and Morty character he's doing here um so i think he should go but lala i think honestly i think she's earned her keep rick and morty character um lala you know look lala i think the problem with lala is just like why you know it's like where the show was doing fine on its own without these non-value ads i think and if you're going to go in the in the in the direction of like adding things to the show add another fucked up couple you know like do we really i think the question i think the basic question was was anybody asking for more lala no but we got we got more lala and you know in situations like this i you know she's i i definitely think this was a good one for her for sure um so i'll agree there but that's you know that's also why it's uncomfortable because you know you're watching this show and it's like making you kind of root for janet in a way you know in a roundabout way and it's just when bravo does that and they flip it's like they get you going one way and then they flip the script on you and you're like oh my god but it's like all my beliefs you know it's like my beliefs yeah like this is like my beliefs it's like all my beliefs are they're turning and i'm questioning everything and how did i not see this last year and like you know it's like a lot of personal identity crisis that i'm going through because of this show and i don't need that it's time for a commercial it's time for a crappin's commercial Ronnie, do you remember my patio before the worlds of Wayfair?

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22:44It's now a good time for me to go over the Janet thing that I, the Janet timeline that I sort of revisited while I was watching this episode. I was going to do it later, but I feel like since you mentioned Janet, now might be a good time. Sure. Why not? I mean, because we really don't need to recap the show, right? No. Isn't it always a good time to just go over Janet timelines? Shit. Go whatever you want. Call me on our day off. Let's do it again then. Well, you know, I was honestly, at the end of this episode, I was really so dismayed with Danny. And I just feel like he's so rude to Nia. And he really is a problem.

23:24and you know there was a lot of talk at the end of the episode there's a lot of talk about like you know god forbid if you say anything bad about danny that sort of was like danny and nia but like really danny like you get you get raked over the coals look at what happened with janet like that's where the last scene of this episode and i was like it inspired me to go back and re-watch watch that dinner at Britney's Airbnb or her rental that she had last season, which is really, I think when there was the major break between Nia and Janet, or one could even say Janet and a large part of the group.

24:01And I sort of going back and looking at it, it made me, I don't know, with this greater context, I actually, I'm going to say that I really do think that like Janet got, I think an unfair amount of hate. I'm going to say it. I think Janet was a disaster. I'm not going to say she wasn't a disaster. I think she was a disaster. I think she was a total asshole in the second half of the season for sure. But if you really look at it, the timeline is fascinating to me. So first we have, I'm sorry, I'm going to, I'm going to pause here because I'm about to monologue and I, before I monologue, I want to do a check-in with you, Ronnie.

24:39I'll do a check-in. No, I'm here. I'm here. Yeah. Go for it. I'm sat, as they say. I'm belted in. Because I did research, okay? I did empirical research until I got bored. Which is how science works. That's how science really works. Still is why we don't have the cure for the common cold. It just gets boring, you know? Ronnie, I feel like there will be stuff I'm going to bring up that's going to annoy you and some just preparing you. Okay. Do you want me to just stay quiet the whole time? Are you asking for silence? Go ahead. I'll make a little note. I think if you get annoyed, I think chime in.

25:18But we just have to remember, I have to get back to my full timeline. Because if I only give like half of what I have to say, then I'll sound like a total asshole. Okay. I'm just going to listen and take notes. Okay. So it starts with, in Santa Barbara, they go on a group trip. Danny arrives to the group trip late, remember? And so he starts drinking really hard to catch up. And he drinks really hard. and he gets wasted and he he passes out and there's a whole thing about at that dinner where nia's like danny's just taking a nap he's not at dinner and he's like he's just taking a nap he needs to take a nap he's so tired and jasmine gets annoyed because she's like what why are we saying that he's like oh taking a nap he's like wasted he passed out because jasmine is uh she had this whole issue with danny and so she is like a bit on edge about the fact that like Like when he gets wasted, he has bad things happen.

26:10He goes to Dark Side Danny and now we're just going to act like, oh, he's just taking a nap, whatever. He's drinking in a way that is like different from the rest of the group to the point where he winds up passing out, yada, yada. So they have like a little bit of a fight. So we come to this group dinner and at the group dinner, they're there to sort of like sort of smooth things over from that squabble that happened in Santa Barbara. and Jasmine and Brittany both apologized to Nia for, you know, judging Danny's quote unquote nap, right? It's really not their place. It's not their place to judge the fact that he napped, yada, yada, yada.

26:47And they just say, we just thought in that moment, it felt like you were trying to hide something and it sort of triggered something in us. And then Nia tells a story about how she doesn't hide things. And in fact, she grew up, she was homeless when she grew up and she had a really tough upbringing and they would dig for cans in the trash to recycle, to make some money for food. And so she learned that she just has to smile and move forward. So while it may look like she hides things, it's just her coping mechanism because her tough upbringing brought that out on her. At which point, Kristen hears this story and is like, what she's been through, I will never let anyone say anything bad about her ever again.

27:30So now Nia has earned Kristen's undying devotion through this story. And, you know, it's a compelling story. So everything, they're all, everything's nice. And then Janet says, by the way, and Nia says, and I don't, I don't hide. I don't hide anything. Like it's like I smile, I put on a smile face, but like you can talk to me about anything. So Janet says, well, there was this one weird moment. I was in the cupboard or not the cupboard. I shrank and was in a cupboard. I was in the pantry and Danny came in and started chugging tequila with the door closed. And I felt uncomfortable because if this was like a hidden drinking thing, I didn't want to be accomplished.

28:09I don't want to be part of it. If it was something that wasn't meant to be seen, she's basically saying, I don't want to get dragged into whatever this is. And it was uncomfortable for me. And Nia's like, Nia's clearly not totally happy with this story. and then Janet says, you know, by the way, I had an ex who had like drug and alcohol issues and if you ever have any concerns about his drinking, you can always like come talk to me or talk to us because we've been down this path. At which point Nia then says, you know what? Like that was an overstep. That's an overstep to imply that and I actually feel like what Danny and I have worked through so hard is now being weaponized against us.

28:54And now Kristen's mad at Janet. Everyone's mad at Janet for making this overstep. And then from there it spirals. And then Janet is on defense and Janet becomes a disaster and she just is terrible for the rest of the season. But this, if you really look at it, what really happened was Janet was like, yeah, Danny was drinking in a way that made me feel uncomfortable. And because she said this and questioned Danny and Nia, Kristen was like, how dare you? And it became a whole thing and it sent her off a thing. And I just kind of feel like what Janet brought up was not the worst thing in the world.

29:28And now we're seeing Danny when he drinks acts in ways that makes people feel very, very, very uncomfortable. And it should have been brought to light. That was my very long monologue. Okay. So here's what I'll say about that, because I think that that's, you know, That's something that's being relitigated now all over the place. It's like, oh, my God, Janet's been right this whole time, blah, blah, blah. Janet has not been right this whole time, and I'm going to tell you why. Just because Danny is – here's the situation that's kind of putting me in, and I feel like a lot of people – I know it's not me personally, but as a viewer, it's how I feel.

30:01Marjorie Taylor Greene, awful human being, monster. I don't care even where you stand politically, okay? I know that – I'm not even talking about politics. I'm just saying as a human being, she sucks. She's a horrible human being. and then at some point she came out against trump like she got mad at trump and so she started turning that anger on trump and then people were like oh my god marjorie taylor green's amazing when did this happen it's like no she's still a fucking monster she's just a monster that is fighting somebody that i approve of right now we have to like keep that in mind you know what i mean so that's my basic feeling because what everything you everything you were bringing up yes the trip to Santa Barbara the reason that Brittany first of all Jasmine was mad because she wanted to confront Danny again about this you know grabbing her ass which is her right by the way and that was my opinion back then as well that was her right to do it and she was pissed that Danny went to bed Brittany was pissed because she was having this whole relationship blow up with Jackson she felt like she's putting everything on TV and meanwhile Nia's getting to act like everything's perfect how I felt at the time is still how I felt if your husband goes out and gets too drunk and decides to go to bed instead of coming and filming and looking like a drunk idiot on TV.

31:14To me, that's a good move. Like to me, that was a good move. It's like, you know, was it a good move to get too drunk? No, but they're on vacation. He's tired. He had the kids. I got that. I got the like Danny wants to like whatever, blow some steam off and go to bed. He's tired and he's wasted. And it's better to not be on TV and embarrass your wife and yourself. so i thought that was a good move as far as like nia trying to hide things i think just because someone's life isn't imploding on tv i mean doesn't that just make them smarter like i didn't i didn't fault nia for that i think the reason she got pissed at janet was because janet had already been coming at danny and trying to prove a point against danny and then sat down under the guise of like i really care for you you're an na right we all know you're an na which was a big thing with that too which was kind of outing her and he was like what the fuck i haven't talked about being an na so that was a huge overstep and then being like well i have a husband who's got drag drug and alcohol problems too well you've got jacks who's like a complete cokehead you know abusing his wife which everybody knew at the time and so janet it's like your enemy is like oh it's concern trolling it's like oh nia let's set you down on tv and now let's talk about what how what an alcoholic your husband is so i could see how neo was like fuck you guys like this is not cool okay now this stuff this year so i don't think that janet's off the hook because janet took that stuff so far to the point where it was at the reunion where she's like oh really well danny is grabbing multiple women we all know dan you know she took it really far and they were like what who who are you talking about she's like oh we all know it's multiple women and doing all of this So Janet took something that was, that could have been from anybody else real concern.

32:58If it was from somebody else, like, listen, Danny's to the point where he's, I don't know if it was handled differently, it would be one thing, but it's the fact that it was your enemy coming at you and then making it a TV thing like that. Now let's talk about your husband being an alcoholic that really set Nia off. So I think last year, I'm not going to give Janet a ton of points for last year, even if they had because jacks had great points too i mean there was a uh tweet an old tweet of jacks's that came out when someone was like oh my god danny and nia are couple goals like danny is just amazing and they're a couple goals and jacks uh replied we'll see how this ages you know so that's being retweeted a lot now so it's not that nobody had a good point it's like that's your enemy doing it if it had been kristin or somebody like that that would have been different but i think janet even though she may have had some seeds of a point, was doing it kind of from a vindictive place.

33:54You know what I mean? So I'm not going to completely write the history of Janet. But I will say that this year, Janet is really coming back. And whether you're buying it or not, it takes me a long time to buy it. So I don't really yet. But I think she's doing a good job at trying to come and restart with people. So I'll give her credit for that. And I think her apology to Nia today was pretty good. And Nia was an idiot for the way she handled it. But, yeah, I'm just not really ready to give Janet a whole rewrite of history because she was still an asshole. You know what? I'm not sure I would ask you to do that.

34:31I just feel like looking at it back, I think it's more like the extreme hate that she received from the audience was driven in large part by this idea that Danny and Nia were a couple goals. and they seem to be the only functional couple on the show and Janet just goes after them. And she was 100 % terrible at the reunion. She just got worse and worse over the course of the seasons, saying sexual assault, all this stuff. But I think she's one of these people that when she gets cornered, like so many reality stars, when she gets cornered, she gets entrenched in her stance and then she just gets worse and worse and worse.

35:14and I think that ultimately I looking back at it I honestly didn't even see it so much as really concerned trolling when I watched it the second time I just saw it as someone being like hey this was like a weird moment if there are issues with the drinking like you know you can talk to us about it like I really didn't see it as anything deeper than that and Nia immediately became very defensive and I And I agreed like you should be able to, if you want to handle stuff behind closed doors, we just had this whole talk about the village. If you don't want the village getting involved, you keep it behind closed doors.

35:52But it's like Danny has an issue here and Janet picked up on it and like mentioned something. And very quickly, Kristen and others went and like, we're like making Janet seem like the devil right away. and then we all kind of just went with it and janet didn't help janet really helped the case for kristin but the truth is i actually think in retrospect if you look at this this inflection point i i don't think that what janet did was really so bad well it's all in the delivery eh eh it's all in the delivery eh i mean i really think that janet is her own worst enemy you know she absolutely is which is why i enjoy her as a villain i enjoy a bumbling villain like i think it's like so funny that janet is a big villain you know especially on a show where you have really toxic toxic people and like doing terrible things and then you just have janet who's just like you know stepping in you know bear traps and knocking over boxes in her villainy and i just think it's funny yeah i think she's just as toxic as the rest and that's kind of the problem is like they're all they're all so toxic in their own ways i mean you could really go down a path with each one of them it's like okay well kristen you know she's being a good friend but then look at everything kristen's done and look at all the boneheaded decisions kristen's made over the years and the reason she got canceled in the first place i'm like we could go down that with almost every single person on this cast which makes it hard to really stick up for anybody ever because ever.

37:29Yikes. You're like, look who you're sticking up for. Right. Yeah. So anyway, that's interesting though, cause all that stuff is coming up again. So thank you for the, you know, for the research. Yeah. For the research. And then the best part about the research is that when I was done watching the scene, um, I just like closed my laptop and the next day I opened up the laptop and where it had closed a pause and it was on a promo for ladies of london because this episode was recorded a few weeks ago and right there in the promo was a pull quote from us i had no idea that we were being used in a pull quote on bravo all this time i was so excited i was like oh my god it's our name moment our name i'm so glad you sent that to me i never would have known that either that was really neat like of course that means that show is probably going to get canceled i know sorry whenever it's endorsed by watch what crap happens it's out in two seconds you know sorry gallery girl sorry we did that to you gallery girls um so okay but here we are and this year is this year and i'm completely i'm completely on the side you were just on right now because right now it's like this is all happening and it's like well yeah now you don't get to have now you've crossed this point where you don't get to have you're like well it's private and we're just gonna keep and you don't have the right to say anything yes we fucking do sir so nia's like oh my god daniel can we just take a breather and reset i need us to have a good time so lala leaves and goes to zach and britney and um she's like you little fucking shrimp i mean listen here polly pocket and zach's like hold on sorry i'm trying to put on my makeup she's like you're what you're not gonna do is fucking mock me i mean you got the wrong fucking one and i'm offended by him do you understand me britney's like that's not okay It's like using botamic vinegar on chicken wings.

39:19Not okay. When he gets mouthy, he gets mouthy. By the way, look how good Zach looks though. Look, he's got boobies, okay? So now Nia is, she's making some sashes and everything. And Danny's like, hey, can you do one that says mis-triggered instead of mis-understood? And then other people are getting dressed. Tom looks crazy. Tom looks truly crazy in his dress. And then Zach, his boobs are bouncing up and down. So he's very excited. And then Janet and Michelle are helping Tom with his walk and telling him how to walk and everything. And then Danny walks into the kitchen and Nia's there. And Nia's like, okay, well, these are the judges.

40:04All right, get away from the judges, Danny. Get away. You can't be near the judges. It's going to bias them. You can't. He's like, what? We are a team, Nia. We are a team. You can't tell me to walk away. Don't talk to me like that. Don't talk to me like that well he's actually trying to be fun now because he's just gotten yelled at so they're in front of everyone so he's like we're a chain babe which i can tell you're shifting energy and i appreciate that i love you daniel which is also making me crazy the knee of following him around trying to make it okay all the time and trying to smooth it over you know and he's like don't talk to me like that and she's like what and so he comes in for a kiss and she's like i just God, you're exhausting.

40:40Like, I can't. I'm just exhausted. I keep on. I keep getting more frustrated, by the way, that Daniel's speaking to me. And I don't know why he doesn't get it. Like, I'm just trying to tell him this is not cool and I love you. And I know you're trying to be competitive and in character and all that. But it's just, like, not working. And I just feel really uncomfortable. And, like, rather than getting angry, I just, like, walk away. And I just try to center and be calm. Please get angry with him. I think that would be really great if she got angry with him. Yeah. needs it yeah so she's trying to make it nice and she's like okay ladies you did a really great job we're going to be scoring our performance outfits and um you know that's what's going to make up the final scores so now they start doing it gun desdened number one is ms judged uh and tom comes out um god bless his heart god bless his look i mean it was they they also like they definitely trolled him giving that little blonde bob like and coke bottle glasses and the whole they made him look as bad as possible and then jesse uh jesse does his walk jesse has like sort of like a big blonde curly wig sort of 80s style and he sort of stumbles and then um and then uh luke comes in luke looks so crazy luke he looks like a cartoon carrot like it's just he's like he looks like like beaker yeah like what beaker he looks like carrie from the movie carrie he's just in this crazy drag and um then zach comes in this is just a whole pageant and everything so uh they they all are judging and everything they're all their whole oh but it's so awkward when danny comes in because everybody just hates danny's guts at this point and he comes in he's trying to be like hilarious and it's like wow great it's like it ruined the whole this this Danny thing just kind of ruined the energy of the whole night so it's like well isn't this fun these guys are like trying to be funny and hilarious and drag and everyone's just like wow really fun yay boobies hilarious and he's just like trying to like gyrate and stuff and nobody's buying it so um Zach's like Tom came out looking like a cross between Edna Mode from The Incredibles in like bootlegs like Cinderella that has an astigmatism.

43:05Like, what? And Jasmine says that Jessie is giving Anna Nicole Smith vibes. Trim spa, baby. Which, of course, is a call back to the fact that Jessie and Anna Nicole Smith did some photos together. And then Kristen's like, Zach looks like a whore that Tom Schwartz probably banged back in the early 2000s. Like, you mean your best friend Katie Maloney? Do you know what you're talking about here? She's like, who would ever sleep with him in the 2000s? I'm like, you know that he has been your best friend during that time frame, right? She probably just met one of the people that Tom, one of the multiples that Tom cheated with.

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45:19We'll be right back. See associate or lowes.com for details.

45:28So now Nia announces that the prize for Miss Congeniality is Miss Judge. Tom wins Miss Congeniality. And Kristen's like, it's unfortunate because like outside of drag, Tom Schwartz is like the hottest guy. But like, wow. What did they do to my Tom? He's so ugly. So now the top two are Luke and Zach. Miss Petty and Miss Taken step forward. And Danny's like, the top two, the top two. Yeah, shocker, you didn't get any votes. Isn't it crazy? I know. He's like really upset about it. He's like, I put on this wig only to come in third place. What is happening? This isn't right. So Jesse's like, I'm kind of disappointed.

46:17I didn't make it to top three. I think my little stumble threw me off a bit. Yeah. I guess there's always next year. But you know how Danny and Jesse are legitimately very upset about this? You can see they went to bed that night. Like, I should have won. This is rigged against me. I fucking hate this. And it's all your fault. Yeah. And he's probably like, Nia, this is your fault, Nia. I told you. You didn't take this serious enough. So there was, so Zach initially wins, but it turns out it's a mistake. It's a La La Land moment. And it's actually Luke who wins. Wow. So now. We're speechless. Sometimes there are no winners.

47:05You know, I feel like maybe maybe beauty contest should in that way. Sometimes like, guys, I'm sorry. There are no winners tonight. OK. Okay. In this pageant of Miss America, America lost. Okay. Go home. Everybody. I'll tell you where we did win. Like for the rest of this evening and the rest of the scenes, Danny remains in his dress without his wig on. So he's just like walking around this little gold dress, which I thought was like very funny. It was like a little Tina Turner dress. so then they go outside Danny and Nia go outside and Danny's like no one's even out here he's like upset he's upset that the outside doesn't have people out there no this is nice and we haven't been out here isn't this nice to be out here oh my goodness we haven't seen any of this stuff look it's a table have you ever seen a table before wow it's a lawn and he's like why do I still have all this on I don't know take it off it's a lot And he's like, okay, what's going on?

48:08And so she's like, well, it is hard to have a serious conversation with you dressed like that. And he's like, why'd you do me dirty like that? She's like, what? And he's like, she goes, my love. And he goes, what? She's like, I do want to talk to you. I mean, I want you to hear me. And maybe you can put your foot down. You know, like, I feel like, get your foot off the table. That'd be great. I feel like things got really tense earlier. And he's like, are you talking about you and me or me and Lala? and she says you and me like it's getting intense you know and i'd like to communicate and i know you're just trying to be playful but you know it's got getting to it got to the point where other people in the house felt the energy and other people felt they need to speak needed to speak up and i was speaking up and you weren't even listening to me so i just want to like check in with you well it's a competition and you know me i'm super competitive i'm like this is not the NBA finals.

49:06It was a stupid drag show that the producers said you had to put on because they wanted a fun game section in the vacation. And then people are not coming up. Then people are coming up and they're saying, I'm triggered by how you're speaking to your wife or whatever, even though I was like joking. And she goes, I know, but I was telling you it wasn't making me feel good in that moment. Yeah. So now the girls are talking in another room and Lala's like, something is It's not right there. And Janice is like, okay, tell us what happened. And so she does. And she's like, you know, and then he's this mistriggered thing.

49:41And now he's mocking me. And, you know, if he feels comfortable talking to her, I mean, like talking to me that way, set me aside. He feels comfortable talking to me that way. Like, who the fuck do you think you are, sir? Well, back outside to me. You know what, Lala? She should have said I'm triggered because this is how I was treated by my partner. like we're on the same level as her and that person and he's like okay and he was very you know please Danny I just want to think I finish no no because yes I can oh you just want to interrupt me is that how it goes she's like Daniel it's not about Lala do you have a problem well if I tell you I'm not able to receive your playfulness right now well you don't have to raise your voice I didn't raise my voice this and this is when I started throwing things at the TV you don't have to raise your voice nia i didn't raise my voice yes you did you raised your voice to the point where people stepped in bro the whole house heard it and this whole like well how dare she compare me to rand well i mean you don't want to be compared to be a piece of shit don't come out of an asshole daniel yeah you know so um she's like you know like i just feel like you're you're not hearing me now and you weren't hearing me before like can you hear me and acknowledge me and make me feel heard he's like of course and can you like listen to me he's like i hear you uh you don't have to raise your voice oh oh god the yelling nia raising she's like can you hear me oh geez the yelling stop yelling oh my god i know jesus nia the famous yeller of the valley yeah god i hate it when she always is flying off the handle uh so lala says i think uh i think he's mean to her and nobody says anything what is going on and janet's like well if you say things it gets very very bad for you and she's like well guess what do you know what you were onto something and no one wants to admit it but i just watched it out there and everyone's letting it slide and this poor sweet woman is sitting here trying to keep a brave face and has four kids and she's out here and he's out here screaming at her about a fucking wig which if yeah yep if i had to guess what danny and his relationship is like behind closed doors he probably struggles with little man syndromes where he's got to like buck up show who's the boss all the time and i think that's like really deeply rooted in their faith and like from what i know about what that he like about that is that he is the king and you are there to support and honestly i was actually really happy to hear lala say this because i kind of feel like this is something that is being kind of skated around like it's been meant that people talk about it um online you see it in comments you know but i think no one no one has really gone there because people don't want to sort of drag religion into it and make it a thing about religion and make it into a big deep thing but the truth is we're all kind of thinking it and the fact that lala said it on camera i actually applaud her for yeah yeah and people are like well i have the right to my religion you do but you're not above the criticism of it and if your religion is telling women they're second-class citizens then you're gonna get some pushback sars village again sorry village calling village the village is called by the way by the way did we uh do we a few weeks ago we said that um they seem like totally the type that goes to um is it oasis oasis is the one on no um no it's the one it's where you break glass and you put it back together what's that called mosaic mosaic mosaic and apparently they actually do go there someone said i was like yep of course they do actually go to mosaic yes of course they do um i'm looking up mosaic because i don't have to actually i'm like by the way actually now i feel like i have to have to double confirm that as like we're about to talk about like their faith and everything but i was just giving ourselves pats on the back for having a good redone situation that's it um but yeah i think it's uh i thought that was really cool that Lala called that out.

53:48And so Nia is like, it's just frustrating because I feel like you're not listening to me. He's like, well, after I already said, I apologize and I hear what you're saying. Give me a break. Okay, how about this, Nell Carter? Why don't you give us a break? Because I'm sick of you being so rude to your wife right now. She has protected you now for two and a half seasons and she's trying to enjoy herself. She's had a baby stuck to her boob for like years and years and years and she just wants to ride a fucking roller coaster and put you in a wig can you just be nice to her for once yeah and he's not having it and um he's like well after i already said i apologize and i hear what you're saying give me a break nia she's like well i feel like the give me a break part was really dismissive okay maybe just an apology and not saying give me a break right after and uh lala is still going off about what a problem he is and she's right and michelle's like well i mean we have all earned something And then we have to pretend that it does not exist.

54:48And she says, yeah, everybody in the group stays quiet when it comes to Danny. Because they don't want to be the new Janet, you know. And so Janet's like, yeah, public enemy number one. If you say anything other than they're perfect. And Lala's like, well, they're far from it. That's for sure. So Neil's like, can we chat more in the morning? You want to go to bed, hon? You want to go to bed? And so then they go inside, though. And they're doing roses. Yeah. And Daniel's like, what is this? What's going on in here? Oh, it's like you had to hold your boobies like this and put the shot glass in the middle.

55:25Guys, come on. Oh, and then he's like, ah, geez. And Zach's like, Nia, are you like not having sex with your man? No, she's not. No, she's not. He can't even feel it. Yeah. Because Danny's like grabbing Zach's boobs and like getting all over Danny. and he's like, is he even getting laid? And he's like, yeah, I'm not getting laid at all. I just hate him so much. He's the worst. He's like the worst. Every moment he gets worse. So Danny's like, I'm going to just have one more beer and get out of here. And so now Nia comes in and pulls Danny to the side again. And she's like, my love, I need you to take your makeup off.

56:04Because she sees he's going back to drinking. And it's like someone who had a storyline last year of you know grabbing butts is like jumping on zach laying on a table grabbing his boobs like granted it's all in jest but it's like do you even remember the last year sir you know yeah so she's like let's get him the fuck out of here you know so she's like and i want to preserve my lashes we should get out of here and so they walk away and he's like i can't believe you said that shit because you're mic'd and i'm mic'd so please help me take your heels off thank you like that I was so stupid. Okay, Daniel, you're tired.

56:38You had a long day. And he's like, I would never shave that stuff to you. I would never shave that stuff. I mean, you're actively, whatever it is that you're mad about now, about the lashes or whatever, you are actually doing this. You're being so much worse than anything that she could have ever said. And she's just trying to manage him and be like, okay, let's go inside. And he's like, I don't understand why you shed that to me. Oh my God. Yeah, and he's telling us, I'm just trying to have some fun. What's going on here? We're a team. Like, this isn't how we operate. We don't have these conversations, not around other people.

57:11I mean, we do this in private. Yeah, but you're the one making it public. You're the one berating her in public, so. Yeah, and it's been two days of it, too, by the way. Again, this isn't just like a bad night. You showed up on this trip all pissy, and you're pissy at the amusement park, and you're pissy here. Like, you're just showing your true colors. And he's going to try and make it, which he ends up doing. But I was thinking at this point, he's going to try and make this all like, oh, it was one drunken night, guys. No, it's not. It's this entire fucking season. You've been a monster. And especially this trip.

57:45You've been an absolute prick this whole time. So you can't blame the alcohol on everything. And honestly, you know what? I think it's time somebody stood up for Tito's. Like, why does Tito's get blamed for every goddamn thing in the world? Like, take some personal responsibility. I am so sick of people blaming alcohol for everything. Yeah. Yeah. Hey everyone. This is the end of part one of this recap for part two. Keep an eye on your podcast feed. It is coming up in just a moment. Thanks so much for listening. Catch you on the second half. Watch what crappens would like to thank its premium sponsors.

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