#3377 The Valley S3E08 Part Two: What a Drag

0:00Ronnie Karam: Amazon Health AI presents Painful Thoughts. I, um, I can't stop scratching my downtown.

0:08Ben Mandelker: Mm-hmm. Yeah, but I'm not itching to go downtown and tell a receptionist I'm here to talk about my downtown. Some things you'd rather type than say out loud.

0:19Ronnie Karam: There's no question too embarrassing for Amazon Health AI. Chat your symptoms and get virtual care 24-7. Healthcare just got less painful.

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1:02Ben Mandelker: Watch what happens when there's so much that

1:17Ronnie Karam: happens. Well, hello and welcome to Watch What Crappens. This is part two of a two-part recap. If you're like, hey, wait a minute, I didn't hear part one. guys it's because we put out a lot of recaps go back and listen to part one okay it's before this one bye enjoy the show so then danny's they're walking outside to the other house and dan's like

1:41Ben Mandelker: you got your mic on she's like yeah so take it off mine's off he's like i hear you there's cameras following us okay then stop talking take the mic off stop talking so i think what's i think what's frustrating about this is that like it's sort of going back to what you were saying about But handling things privately, yeah. Like, you know, I think it's good to handle things privately. You handle it behind closed doors. You don't make a scene. I think that's good. But what's hard is the sense of fakery that comes as a result of this situation. Like, oh, they're just great and they're fine and dandy, but they have real issues.

2:18Ben Mandelker: And that's fine too. Like, that's totally fine. But what I don't like is that they're immune from criticism. Like, how could, how could anyone say anything bad about them? It's like, no, because like they are, they should be subject to criticism because they have shit going on and they're acting in ways that's like, you know, affecting other people. And, and I'm happy to see that this veil or this, this, this cloak of immunity that they've had is now coming down because it's, it's not fair for those. I think that are being lambasted for daring to say anything against them.

2:52Ronnie Karam: Yeah. Well, I'm not. I want to just make it clear that I'm not saying I believe everything should be handled behind closed doors. I'm speaking specifically of that trip where Danny was wasted and went to bed. To me, that was a good move. I don't want your drunk husband here acting like an idiot. So if someone's husband is drunk and acting like an idiot, I would rather he be put to bed, frankly. I'm just talking about that specifically. But I don't think, especially if you're on a reality show, that you're above questioning by anybody. they all question each other constantly

3:23Ben Mandelker: as I drill down into it you know what I hate is like having to pretend like if you want to handle something behind closed doors by all means do it but I hate having to pretend like like I don't want to be part of whatever the situation is so even going back to that last year of Santa Barbara it's like oh Daniel's just taking a nap I don't want to be like oh oh yeah, he's just tired. You need to take a nap. It's like, no, he got wasted because he's like in his late thirties and still doesn't know how to drink. And like, and we, and I have to just be like, oh yeah, he was tired. He had taken a nap.

4:02Ben Mandelker: Like, I don't want to have to co-sign this. If you want to cover, it's fine. But like, I don't want to have to co-sign it. And I think that's where I get like frustrated with, with couples like Danny and Nia, you know?

4:11Ronnie Karam: Yeah. I just get frustrated in general with people like that. I just don't want to be around it. Like if you're willing to put up with that from somebody that's up to you and that's like some deep issues and if you need any help with that i'll always be there to help like if someone like nia comes to me and tells me things are going on with daniel or whatever and she needs help of course i would be there first of all packing up her shit and trying to support her in any way that i could but i'm not going to subject myself to being around a couple like that that's nuts yeah yeah um so now it's the next morning and everything's gonna be fine now guys so danny

4:46Ben Mandelker: and Nia are outside and Nia's like, it's a new day. And I just want to start the new day by making sure it's brought up so that it's not something that we carry with us. But last night I feel really bad that I brought things up in a time that I would never normally bring things up. And we both had something to drink and like we're not super on the same page. And I just was kind of feeling hurt yesterday and it was not fun for me. And I wanted to have a good time and I wanted to be like laughing and giggling and like silly. And I'm like, why are you apologizing? you didn't bring anything up at the wrong time at all you brought him outside privately and said hey like could you please stop acting like this you're making me feel bad works it's an abuse dynamic

5:26Ronnie Karam: and it's extremely uncomfortable to watch you know and anybody who's ever been in the situation or around this situation knows this pattern very well you know the person who's in the victim position is making excuses and it's not like you did this and you need to apologize it's we both did it and And we were both drinking and we both said things we didn't. It's no, you weren't both. It was him. But you're constantly having to massage this ego because you don't want this person to explode and do whatever they're going to do to you. And it's horrible. It's so uncomfortable to watch. It's awful to watch it.

6:04Ronnie Karam: And Danny's like, well, I definitely took the competition to the next level. And I wasn't talking to you in the right way. And I'm embarrassed. And I'm so sorry. I apologize again. you know he's a good apologizer because that's what you do it's like i always said with jacks like he graded apologies because you're so practiced you have to do it every fucking second of the day and none of them yeah because you're just going to do it again yeah so danny's

6:29Ben Mandelker: like obviously alcohol takes swagger inhibitions a little bit and if i had one too many my fuse can be shorter and i can be snappy and i just took it too far and so it's like it's frustrating it's, or as Lisa Barlow would say, it's frustrating that I guess, I don't know, I'm trying to articulate how I feel about this which is that he's like a terrible drunk. It's a terrible drunk and then he's acting like I'm not a terrible drunk. It's just that I have a lot on my plate and yet every single time he has to explain himself to the audience like, well, you know, when you drink a little bit your inhibitions go away and you know, I guess I could be a little snappy.

7:06Ben Mandelker: It's like, you're a bad drunk and you should stop drinking. How about that?

7:10Ronnie Karam: yeah well that's true but also it's the it's not like we pointed out earlier it's not just when he's drunk he was doing this not drunk the entire trip so i think sometimes people blame gray goose when it's their shitty personality you know the the alcohol enhances what's already there you know yeah yeah sorry um people like to say it turns me into a whole different person no it just enhances the shit person you already are it's a microscope exactly and i think there's a

7:38Ben Mandelker: difference between calling someone a bad drunk and saying you're an alcoholic. Cause I don't know if Danny's an alcoholic, but what I do, what I do observe is that he's a shitty drunk and he does shitty things when he's drunk. And I think that like he grabbed Jasmine's butt, he got kicked out of Jax's twice. Do you know how bad you have to be to get kicked out of Jax's of all place? It's like the Mar-a-Lago of Ventura Boulevard.

8:03Ronnie Karam: The sign was made out of Coke straws.

8:07Ben Mandelker: yeah and you know and he's mouthing off to nia and it's like it's this it's that it's so many things and um it's like you're a shitty drunk and like you show up to a trip yes i will go back once again you show up to a trip and then you have to like chug down beers to catch up like what are you 21 you don't have to catch up like that's so crazy i mean like just like you're just like shitty at this and then like we all have to pretend like oh but there's but they're great they're great he was just tired it's fine he's just you know he's he's stressed he's working it's like everyone gets sucked into having to make excuses for someone who then gets drunk makes everyone else uh uncomfortable so in this case the village is being terrorized by the village drunk and it's just like not cool the village drunk is going around throwing things in people's windows and like i feel like i'm in the village right now even though i'm not part of the situation I feel like by watching it and observing it and commenting on it, I feel like I'm part of it and I've had enough.

9:07Ronnie Karam: Well, it makes sense. Rightfully so. So Lala is telling Michelle, she's like, he was out of it last night. He was off his fucking rocker. And Michelle's like, yeah, he needs to rag his, you know, personal space. And I've never felt uncomfortable or anything because he was wearing heels last night. But I was like, oh, I'm taller than you. Like kind of like a joke. And he was like, no, you're not. No, you're not. And then just get like getting too close to me to like prove that he was not, you know, du jord. And that is fine. But I can see another girl being like, okay, personal space. Yeah, sure.

9:45Ben Mandelker: By the way, just one thing I've learned in life is just never comment on people's height to people's faces. If you see a tall girl and be like, wow, you're so tall. Don't say that to her. You see someone who's short and be like, wow, I'm taller than you. Don't say that to them. just don't mention people's height it is a very touchy subject i'm not taking it for danny but like michelle being like wow i went up to someone and said i'm taller than you and they got mad at

10:08Ronnie Karam: me i'm like michelle this is maybe i'm still taller than you even in heels short man men love

10:15Ben Mandelker: being called short i'm like i i'm not gonna i'm not gonna defend danny getting into your personal space but this is just not the best example of danny's ills here it's like i do not understand

10:25Ronnie Karam: Dan, why he got mad. So weird. And she's saying, you know, we've all seen Danny drink too much. And she she's like, I have a higher threshold than most women because let's face it, I was married to Jesse. So I know how to act with I know how to deal with men when they're acting like boys. You open a window and you push them out of it.

10:47Ben Mandelker: I just like at this point, she's like, yeah, you know, Jesse is terrible, but I know no one really cares anymore about how terrible he is. So we'll just accept it and move on and focus on Danny. So Lala's like, each woman has a different boundary, right? Yes, exactly. It's like, but when alcohol starts flowing and you don't know how to read someone's energies, it just makes me nervous. And Janet goes, well, this is tough. Just honestly, even hearing and seeing again, because I feel like they would rather remove people from their lives who say things. And I would just like to say something to her, but I don't even know.

11:21Ben Mandelker: This is a lot right now.

11:24Ronnie Karam: And Lala's like, well, maybe today, because of last night, she may be a little bit softer and open to it. I was like, no, I don't think this is. Why would Nia be softer now? No, no, it's bad advice. You're still not the right messenger. Your message is not wrong, Janet, but you're just not the right messenger for that.

11:42Ben Mandelker: I think it's the worst time to talk to Nia because I think Lala's thinking Nia is so fed up with Danny that she probably will appreciate someone coming in peace to her. But I think actually what is more likely to happen is now all the things that Danny has put onto her, she can finally, quote unquote, unleash onto someone else. Not that Nia really unleashes, but Janet is a safe space for Nia to be a bit more curt and cold to as opposed to Danny. So, like, she'll just sort of, I think, transfer the energy over to Janet. So it's really not a good time for her to do it.

12:22Ronnie Karam: Well, Lala is also assuming that because she's fed up that Nia is going to be fed up. So she's like, well, after last night, Nia must be completely fed up. So let's go help her be like, okay, well, your relationship is at rock bottom. So where do we go from here? You know, she's like ready to come at it from that angle. But everyone, like she just says, has different thresholds. And Nia's not at her rock bottom yet. So Nia's not coming to it like, oh, my God, my husband's a huge fuck up. How do we fix this? She's coming to it like, you know, okay, I'm still standing behind this guy. Like, how am I going to stand behind him today?

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14:38Ronnie Karam: Amazon Health AI presents Painful Thoughts.

14:44Ben Mandelker: I can't stop scratching my downtown. Yeah, but I'm not itching to go downtown and tell a receptionist I'm here to talk about my downtown. Some things you'd rather type than say out loud.

14:58Ronnie Karam: There's no question too embarrassing for Amazon Health AI. Chat your symptoms and get virtual care 24-7. Healthcare just got less painful.

15:12Ronnie Karam: yeah so janet goes out and she's like i don't know that i can really have an honest conversation with her about what happened last year because it's clear that even though this thing with danny hurt her um she's still very defensive of him and i just want to get this apology off my chest uh not just to make besties with nia because that's never going to happen but i just want her to know she that i'm empathetic to her situation so she's gonna go have this talk

15:37Ben Mandelker: yeah what sounds great go wrong yeah great plan meanwhile danny uh talks to lala and he's like hey show i want to check back in about last night i talked to nia and obviously this morning i just want to apologize and i just felt really stupid you know i should never have talked to her how i I was talking. The tone was all wrong. Let me see. What else did ChatGPG say that I should say? I was just, you know, I'm competitive. Alcohol. I was snappy. You know how it is. But, you know, can you understand me? I know you're a woman, so it might be hard to process all these words.

16:13Ronnie Karam: Well, you know, with Danny, this apology, you know, he is a very good apologizer. And even I was like, well, it's pretty good, you know. Yeah, and he's cute. If I hadn't seen his talking heads and then read everything he said during the season, and seeing him being defensive in the after show and everything else he's not really sorry you know he doesn't take and if someone's really like holy shit i was a monster i was a drunk and i was an idiot and i'm good i need to like change my way i mean what i'm saying is it's not necessarily unforgivable to have a drunken night but then he apologizes and then he's like what's your mind around fucking business and the talking heads it's like you don't mean anything you're saying you know yeah you're just uh you're just a decent b-level actor you know doing whatever you need to do to keep you as a b-level actor well that was generous i guess you're i was about to

17:07Ben Mandelker: say that is quite generous so lala's like um i think i don't know a lot of letters to be a b-level so then lala is like uh well i think there's something that happens when you have one too many drinks. And by the way, there's no fucking judgment here. Just kidding. There's a huge amount of judgment, but I'm just going to tell you there's no judgment. And I want to make that very fucking clear. I'm not saying that you have an issue. I'm telling you you have an issue. And I know that that's not been, I know that's like that's been talked about in the past. I need to make that clear. That's not what I'm saying.

17:42Ben Mandelker: I just want to make sure that you're good. Like Lala, you're telling him he has an issue. Let's be honest. And you're right, by the way.

17:50Ronnie Karam: You're right. Yeah. Well, Well, she knows how it's coming across because she is someone who had to get sober, you know, because she had the same stuff happen to her all the time. So she's I think she's coming from the place of like, listen, from one one person who's acted like a drunk idiot on TV to another. I get it. But he's taking that as like, well, how dare you compare me to an alcoholic, you know, because he's delusional. So, yeah, of course, he's like, well, that didn't need to be shit. We don't know each other like that. We're not fringe like that. She needs to mind her own business. Well, as I've said 20 times, it's not her own business.

18:30Ronnie Karam: If you're this loud about it and in everyone's face about it, it becomes our business dummy.

18:36Ben Mandelker: Yeah. And this is, and this is also an echo to what happened to that dinner party. And this is not me going back to like the Janet thing. I'm, I'm, I'm done with that. Like that's, I'm just saying in terms of the way that need, the moment that there was a, like a question about like is should we be checking on danny's drinking he was like i can't believe you'd even say that right like that's basically like kind of like you you've you've overstepped it's too far blah blah blah blah and like they're so defensive about this and it's just like it's it's just really annoying to watch and i can only imagine how annoying it is to actually be in that circle of friends to deal with it yeah truly so um they finish your talk and he's like

19:15Ronnie Karam: you know i rarely do drink even like i'm good like i rarely drink so those times when it gets to a point you know things do get heightened like whatever you know making a light of the whole being triggered thing that was that was stupid you know i'm really sorry about that and she's like okay well i just want you to be sure to know that if i'm saying this behind your back i'm gonna say it to your face i'm willing to say it to your face and he's like okay well thank you and she's like okay well thanks tanny i appreciate it so they move on and meanwhile zach is just still having the best trip of his life i mean zach is on some other trip zach is like on some completely different vacation than everyone else he's just like having the time

19:58Ben Mandelker: of his life you know yeah he's he and benji are just like like oh my god lumos they're just having a great time they're just completely insulated from all this stuff so now janet's like um nia Do you have a second? Can we go hang by the garden? Yeah. Okay. Oh my God, a garden. I haven't been out here before. Sorry. That's like my gut reaction. I say when I go outside to make sure Danny's okay. He's like, okay, well, um, it's nice and peaceful out here, right? It is peaceful. How are you? I'm good. Okay. Well, um, I just wanted to sit down and talk and I know it's been a little awkward and stuff.

20:35Ben Mandelker: And, you know, I know that last year was really tough and I caused you a lot of pain and I'm really sorry. I'm like, stop slowing down every other word, Janet. It's like, I truly understand how some things that I said have hurt you.

20:51Ronnie Karam: Yeah. She's saying, you know, I understand I hurt you and I wish I could go back and not say some things or say things differently. Now this, you know, credit where it's due, I think was a very good apology. It was much improved from her first, like, do you have anything to apologize to me about? Which is how she started the season. So I thought this was very good. Like, she came in. She gave a real apology, I felt like. Yes. And she did a good job. And as a Christian. It was almost like the awkwardness of it. You know, as a Christian, like, what do you do? You're supposed to forgive. I was raised in the Christian church.

21:26Ronnie Karam: I don't really follow it now. But I was raised very, very, very Christian. um so i kind of know how this works and nia's just like no no no fuck off bitch basically yeah she's like i and look it's not your responsibility necessarily to just say okay you have like full entrance back into my life you know i was very hurt by you so just go ahead i'm just gonna pretend that nothing happens but that's not really what forgiveness is you know and so i thought it was kind of silly that Nia, you know, stakes all of this on her religion and her faith and then can't even take a genuine apology when it's offered to her.

22:04Ronnie Karam: I thought that was pretty shitty on Nia's part.

22:08Ben Mandelker: Now I will say, God, I would hate, I hate to do the, I will say in this situation, but I will say, I mean, Jana has apologized to Nia a few times over the past like year or two seasons. And so I can imagine that Nia is just sort of frustrated that she has to like have another sit down but I do actually agree I do think that Janet was had a good apology and I honestly Janet Janet has she said she's gone to therapy she's been doing therapy and she's not like doing the Jax therapy where she does like a session on camera and it's like look everyone I'm changed like she sounds if we are to believe what she's saying and it's based on how she's talking it does sound like she has been putting in the work which is what I ask of people when they act like buffoons.

22:52Ben Mandelker: So I do appreciate this. And Nia is just like, I feel like you look at me and you're like not seeing the good in me. You would see the negative. There was good. And like, and if there is good, you would find a way to turn it into bad. I'm like, I, it's interesting to me that that's how Nia takes it because I really think that like Janet's issue is primarily with Danny. And if she had an issue with Nia is that Nia covers for Danny and Danny acted in a way that made Janet feel uncomfortable. And then when Janet tried to say that, whether it was concern trolling or not, but based on at least just what we see on camera, just the words said, Nia's like, fuck off, right?

23:33Ben Mandelker: And I can understand being like really frustrated by that.

23:37Ronnie Karam: And Janet's like, well, you're definitely right. And I feel like all of us are seeing the worst in each other and assuming the worst. And she's like, well, I feel like that's a blanket statement that's not real for me because I see the best in most people. And I see repeated actions that now I look at and it's not like an oops, I did this. I'm sorry. For me, it was a long time of behavior over a period of time that became a pattern.

23:57Ben Mandelker: Oh, are you talking about Danny now? Now I'm talking about you.

24:02Ronnie Karam: Yeah. Well, you say it does seem like she could be talking to Danny as well. And while I agree with what she's saying to Janet, you know, I do agree that it's like, well, it's not just some oops. Like you doubled, tripled, quadrupled down to the point where by the end of the season, you were accusing him of murder, basically. Yeah. And I get that. But, you know, you can have that conversation and still say, like, listen, Janet, you know, I was really hurt by you last year. And this is why I was hurt. But I appreciate your apology. And I would love to move forward. You know, it's just a couple of tweaks would be needed to this.

24:39Ronnie Karam: and Nia's like nah this was an apology that was planned out and it doesn't feel like there's any real deep understanding of the hurt she's caused and I'm like yeah but that's also Danny who you're completely standing up for and that's an impossible situation you know yeah I think that like yeah

24:56Ben Mandelker: it's not nice to have someone in your group bring up these things but it's Danny who's actually doing these things and like that's that's where the scrutiny really should be in my mind so nia's i

25:10Ronnie Karam: mean look i think it should be both places i don't i'm just not i'm just i just can't be like well janet's right now because danny sucks i mean i think janet was still an asshole like she's still just too much and i can get it and i think she's two sides of the same coin as someone like danny you know not the drinking and everything like that but the manipulation and the the way that you talk to people and that you try and villainize people when they're not i mean they have a lot in common and i just think they're both so wrong but when you're in this situation as someone like nia you i mean what are you gonna do like you can't just keep coming onto a tv show and having it be so split like someone you guys she's at least making an effort and even if you don't believe her effort is real you need to at least fake it enough to like give her a chance you know especially when that's what you're preaching constantly and you're preaching it to everyone

26:04Ben Mandelker: else for your husband i guess i'm trying to figure out what i actually want out of nia in this situation i think i want her to basically just tell tanya to shut up i want her to sort of stop taking this onto herself. And I want her to, I kind of want her to give Danny the business and be like, look, because of you, our entire friend group is being torn apart. Like, yeah, it's Janet too. But ultimately like Janet would have never had anything to go off of if you didn't give her all of this to go off of. And you like, you've created this, like you've got to change. And if you don't like, like I've made so many sacrifices for you.

26:45Ben Mandelker: I've done everything for you and you're treating me like shit. And now our whole group is like in shambles because of you and you've got to like get your shit together. It's like, I think that's what I want from her.

26:55Ronnie Karam: Well, it's tough because she's in a situation where, you know, I'm looking at this as like a full-on abuse situation, you know? And I know people will be like, well, that's not physical abuse and that's different than, that's not really. When you're in a situation that's so emotionally abusive, which this frankly now looks completely like that to me and there's no talking me out of that. so you you're talking to a victim in an abuse situation and so it's like just stand up to him you know of course we want that because you want that for the person you know you want that you want to see them get to that moment but it's just so much more complicated than that it's like you're stuck with these four kids these four babies she doesn't really work she's stuck in this you know i mean maybe she does some influencing stuff but she doesn't really you know where she's a stay-at-home mom you know it's like sorry i took myself off now she's stuck in santa clarida and you know it's like she's kind of in a situation which to her probably seems impossible add on to that all of the religious training that's like no you stand by your man and that guy is right now you know that guy's the man and you're the woman and your job is to blah blah blah and so it's it's easy You know, it's easy to say, like, well, you should do this and you should do that.

28:13Ronnie Karam: But it's also just hard to actually do it, you know. She's in a really complicated situation. And it's just brutal. It's brutal to watch it. And so she's like, you know, this was just last summer, Janet. It's not like it was a long time ago. And Janet's like, well, everybody's been saying stuff and posting things. And she goes, oh, really? What about me and Daniel? She goes, no, but like Daniel likes and posts stuff with memes about me and stuff like that. And she's like, but I'm talking about you, Janet. No, you're really not. You're defending Danny.

28:45Ben Mandelker: Yeah. Yeah, exactly. And Janet's like, yeah, I'm just saying it's not a one-sided thing. She's like, no, but I'm talking about you because you're the one that's making the apology to me. She's like, well, I feel like all I can do moving forward is just to say I'm sorry. I appreciate the effort.

29:01Ronnie Karam: Yeah, but it's like stone cold. It's like a stone cold ending.

29:07Ben Mandelker: So this is what's so funny to me. Like we've been out at this for like an hour and 18 minutes. We are fired up. We're, we're dissecting every aspect of this problematic situation. Danny and Nia, there's alcohol afoot, religious issues afoot. There's things from last year, this year, there's all this stuff. It's dark. It's, it's terrible. The, the way that people were talked to, it's like, it's a really dark moment. Cut to Tom Schwartz. Carl, wow, I would say San Diego trip was a great success. Were you even there? Did you even see what was happening?

29:43Ronnie Karam: Yeah, he's like, I was a little glimpse into my future. Like, I want to retire and just live on a little ranch with my animals and be a boy. Yikes. Commercials.

29:55Ben Mandelker: Here comes one right now.

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31:01Ben Mandelker: Okay, I have to tell you.

31:03Ronnie Karam: I was just looking on eBay where I go for all kinds of things I love, and there it was.

31:07Ben Mandelker: That hologram trading card. One of the rarest. The last one I needed for my set. Shiny like the...

31:13Ronnie Karam: Designer handbag of my dreams. One of a kind. eBay had it. And now everyone's asking, ooh, where'd you get your... Windshield wipers. eBay has all the parts that fit my car. No more annoying. Just beautiful. Millions of finds, each with a story eBay, things people love

31:36Ronnie Karam: So now everybody's back home going about their business and we go to Jason and Janet's house and Janet's like well I had a good trip at least I had fun with the girls half the trip I was really laughing with the girls and having fun and Janet's like and I was talking to them about meeting with my OB and then meeting a fertility specialist because they're talking about having another baby. So they talk about that for a while.

32:05Ben Mandelker: Yeah, baby potential happening there. And Jason talks about if they can't conceive, then maybe they might adopt. And he talks about how his dad was adopted and there's a lot of adopted people in his family. So it's something that would definitely be a viable option for him, which is pretty cool to learn about his family.

32:25Ronnie Karam: and um yeah now the guys go to play basketball so they're like this is just called hoops guys and uh they basically all come to play together and jason's like yeah i'm pretty athletic especially for my age so i played high school based basketball and i wasn't good enough to play for boston college but uh still pretty good guys so they start playing and then uh jason hurts his knee and he's like oh god i hurt my knee with that jump and like well the shot's way off and then um they keep playing and jason goes down he's like oh he like he just goes it's just like

33:11Ben Mandelker: he's out he's out he's down for the count and then he's just like just laid out there laid out it's not even funny his knee is popped out yikes no it was it was i felt bad for him like he was down like that was an injury but what was funny was that like he's like he's lying there ambulance comes they caught him away like okay back to the game uh wasn't he walking at bravo con was a bravo con or was it the reunion that he had like a uh he was walking around like a cane at bravo con he was on a cane yeah so it's probably from this yeah so yeah and um so he's

33:46Ronnie Karam: like oh god you know what the hell like and now i have to take care of a kid and i can't walk and you know he's freaking out so they take him away and um luke's like okay well let's let's keep going so uh he's saying that him and jason have a weird friendship right now um but when you blow out your knee in front of me. I don't wish that on anybody. So he goes to the hospital and then we just keep playing. I mean, I don't know what's going on at this scene.

34:15Ben Mandelker: Luke is like, I just have a question for the EMTs before you take him to the hospital. When was the last time you let me go fishing? Like, sir, we don't understand what this question is about. We need to take this man for medical assistance. So now we have Zach and Brittany and Kristen and now they're at lunch at Madre, which is where Erica and Denise and sudden had lunch for anyone who wants to keep tabs on restaurants on these shows. So Brittany's, hey, how are you feeling? Good. Sleepy. Always sleepy. Always sleepy. Oh my God. Like, how long did it take you to get home? Like four? Four and a half hours?

34:50Ben Mandelker: Ugh.

34:52Ronnie Karam: So Lala comes in and she's all dressed up. Like, where are you going? Oh my God. I just wanted to get dressed up for my friends. So, you know, like, yeah, I just came home and just wanted to put on my sweatpants. and Brittany's talking about how cute Cruz was and how good things are going with Cruz without Jax there. And he's now smiling all the time. He's more social. And she saw how, or Cruz saw how she was treated for so long with Jax and that really affected him more than they realized. And meanwhile, Jax is posting like, wow, everybody, congrats to me, 1.5 years sober. I'm going in the rehabs, you know, yearly marathon.

35:35Ronnie Karam: Girl, nobody believes you.

35:38Ben Mandelker: Yeah, seriously. So now Kristen's like, I mean, this is what Jax's perfect world looks like. He's like single, single, and then he can fuck whatever he wants, do drugs and do whatever. And then he has Britney, and then he still has Cruz. Yeah, but that's because the narcissist always has the life over here, but the picture perfect family to create delusion. And it's wild. yeah he could have been called crews every day and make an effort but he doesn't because shocker he doesn't call to help out or anything and she says that co-parenting is extremely extremely

36:07Ronnie Karam: difficult yeah and uh she's like i just i've just put so much belief that he changed but he's 46 and he's still playing all the same tricks and doing all the same things to me and i believe it yeah Yeah. 100%. So Kristen's like, well, at least the dark cloud's gone. And she's like, well, it didn't ruin my time. So now we move on to the Nia stuff, the Nia and Danny stuff. So Wala's like, well, I don't know if Nia told you what happened. And Zach's like, yeah, but Janet tried to talk to her at the end. And she goes, no, not that. And Kristen's like, well, I know about her and Janet sort of talking.

36:47Ronnie Karam: She's like, no, not that. Did she tell you the night of the pageant with me and Danny? and Kristen's like, oh my God, I can like feel your nervous energy. And it's like, it's making me nervous. Like, I don't even know what's about to happen.

36:57Ben Mandelker: I'm an empath. Okay, well, we can sit here all day long and talk about Daniel and how wonderful they are. All right. And Kristen, I'm going to be very careful as I say this because I know that they're your friends, but there's a real issue happening. Kristen's like, oh, caca, what? The utter, the way that your friend Danny speaks to his wife is utterly unacceptable. the bulls i hear him say get these fucking lashes off me yelling at her oh i don't know what you're

37:24Ronnie Karam: talking about yeah she's like well i love you and i've always appreciated that you write hard for your friends but there's a lot of things about danny and i'm not going to end up at janet okay i'm not i'm not going to be labeled a destroyer and i'm telling you this is something i saw and i heard with my own eyes and ears and britney's like well when i brought something up last year was like whoa like i wouldn't have liked to feel what i saw i mean we got labeled as horrible people you know the internet was so mean to me i was crying i was crying and kristin's like well just as a side note as far as danny and nia's a couple are concerned like just because they don't share it with the group doesn't mean they don't deal with it themselves and i really try to model my relationship with luke on that well it seems to be working because you're both fucking miserable

38:08Ben Mandelker: i know yeah great great work uh great work with that patterning just i look at danny and nia's relationship. It's something that I really strive for in my relationship with Luke. I'm like, that's because you're looking at them with a rose tinted glasses on. You see the version, the nice version that they presented for so long where they're very sweet and accommodating, but you're not really seeing what they're actually, how they're actually behaving. She goes, you don't air your dirty laundry. I'm like, well, you're also not really patterning that part, Kristen. And she's like, you do air your dirty laundry though.

38:43Ben Mandelker: So she's like, Oh, I really aspire to be like that. I just want to, I aspire to not air my dirty laundry. I'm like, you put up a clothesline in this restaurant and it's all hanging here.

38:53Ronnie Karam: There's, Oh, you're like literally, you know, washboarding t-shirts in a river right now. Okay. Can we just eat our madre?

39:01Ben Mandelker: I know. Seriously. You should learn how to communicate at home and have these conversations in private and work past them without embarrassing your significant other. and then there's something that i i really look up to when when it comes to danny and nia and their marriage i'm like yeah but the point is that he did embarrass a significant other

39:18Ronnie Karam: that's what lala tried to tell you listen follow the follow the thread kristin and she's like yeah they're like very faith-like about their faith and you know like she just wants to breathe through it and pray through it um and that's how she copes and britney's like well i mean not the mean jacks were anything like me and danny but i protect the jacks all the time and i was like we know she's like yeah so i can understand that you know more than the average person and i think you know britney is a good example actually on this one and i don't just mean the alcohol but this kind of like narcissist man you know treating you like shit where you're constantly sticking up for him she definitely knows and um zach's like whoa like i like i think this is more like you don't like mia and britney's like i don't like mia and kristen's like well he said this for a really long time like i've never brought it up sex says well you you know you don't like mia you know and she goes but i do like mia and he goes you make dicks about mia all the time and she and he's like one

40:23Ben Mandelker: example at the top of my mind is like last summer when we were in santa barbara danny and neo were having a fight on the phone and neo was like yelling at him and britney thought that neo was hiding something from the cameras and they were like fighting but britney i'm like sorry there's cameras everywhere so i like don't see what we're talking about and they shot that clip i don't feel like brinny took that big of a dig i don't remember exactly what she said in that moment but i remember

40:42Ronnie Karam: thinking like i don't know but i know what he means because well first off that was i they showed the scene so we got to see it again i was like i remember that scene because they show it to us they show i just don't remember what she said i remember thinking about it i remember talking about it last year and um she was telling her husband off on the phone she was like listen to your wife daniel like she was getting mad at him on the phone and then britney's like why are they hiding everything and i just remember saying like they're not though she's having this conversation on camera like i don't understand why you're saying she's hiding it but i think britney was projecting a lot at that moment because she could see some of the patterns with danny yeah like jacks and danny and she was dealing with jacks to such a degree that for nia to be like oh no no everything's okay when britney was just at the point where she's like you know what No, everything's not okay with my relationship.

41:33Ronnie Karam: And so to see somebody else being like, no, but everything's okay. When you're going through the same thing and finally having to say, no, everything's not okay. I can see what a mind fuck that would be for sure.

41:44Ben Mandelker: Also, Brittany got shit for so many years from all of the audience about like, why are you protecting Jax? We know you're protecting him. Why are you always trying to smooth things over? You're always giggling over, like giving her all that shit. She got that shit for years and years and years. And now she finally, like the veil lifted. She finally has clear her eyes and she's, and then she sees Danny and Nia and, and they are clearly having a squabble. And she's like, why did like, they like, why doesn't Nia get shit for this? Like I had to deal with so much shit. I have to imagine like there's an element of that running through her as well.

42:17Ben Mandelker: That's like a common thing with reality stars. I'm like, I had to deal with shit. Now what, now you should deal with this shit too. It's like not fair that I was had to be the one that dealt with it. And I kind of would imagine there was some, along with what you said, I think that this was also swirled in there.

42:32Ronnie Karam: Yeah. And so she's like, I'll immediately get attacked every time I face, you know, face anything. And Zach's like, I'm not attacking you. And she's like, well, I'm done talking about it because I've never been. I've never talking about Danny and me ever again. They're perfect. I guess they're just perfect.

42:48Ben Mandelker: Okay. I see you. Okay. You are seen. I hear you. I see and hear you. And this is actually. I do. No, this is my way of saying like, I'm hearing too much of you. It's just a lot of your giggle right now. Okay, you know what? We never got to see those things, okay? There might have been, like, some rumors or, like, stuff or whatever, but it's, like, never been this bad. And, like, especially the way he wasn't in San Diego, that was, like, absolutely inappropriate. Even Bungie was like, oh, my God.

43:16Ronnie Karam: And Kristen's like, well, I've not witnessed that. I mean, I believe what you're telling me. I'm just saying, like, I haven't seen it with my own eyes.

43:24Ben Mandelker: well i just find it hard to believe that you've never heard him speak to her that way like ever

43:31Ronnie Karam: and she's like well no i've never been to a bar with danny like i see dad danny or danny at home and danny not ever drinking that's the danny i see and kristen lala's like kristen saying this is such bullshit she's been around danny drinking on many occasions and it's not this isn't even a friendship this is an alliance and let's just call it what it is and i think kristen kristen is intentionally turning a blind eye. And I think that that is accurate.

43:58Ben Mandelker: And Lala basically ends with Lala saying, if this is your friend, you've got to step in, Kristen. And Kristen's like, oh, caca, what?

44:05Ronnie Karam: Yeah, because Kristen goes, well, that's something that needs to brought to her attention because it's being talked about. So Kristen's basically like, okay, well, I'm going to go talk to me about this. I'm just warning you. And Lala's like, okay, well, if this is your friend, then step in, Kristen. Jesus.

44:19Ben Mandelker: I mean, because Kristen has been their biggest offender. like Kristen like when Kristen heard more of Nia's backstory last year she felt extreme amount of sympathy and empathy and everything all the pathies and I don't discredit her for that I don't think that's wrong that she felt that way but she really kind of was like okay I'm going to blindly champion these two for the end of time and it's like she's going to have to also now you know put on her you know her detective hat as usual and get to the bottom of this

44:49Ronnie Karam: well yeah because this isn't like a typical reality thing like you better you know tell them off you know it's not about telling her off it's like you're this is a bad situation like how are we going to help this lady yeah yeah exactly so

45:04Ben Mandelker: anyway uh god that oh i feel great what what what a ray of sunshine this episode was but um yeah there's but like also i love a show where you can sink your teeth into it and you can have opinions And like, I loved all this conversation. I loved it. I loved going back and forth. I know people are going to be really mad at me for having certain Janet, uh, apologists, uh, tendencies this episode, but you know what? That's just the way it is.

45:34Ronnie Karam: I think this is, I think this is everything that's being talked about on this show is really dark and complicated and people are going to have really intense feelings on a lot of things that are talked about on the show. and then on this show because we're talking about what's happening on the screen so you know everybody's gonna because everybody's got some kind of reference point to this in their own lives and they're going to be coming from a lot of different directions people bring their yeah

46:04Ben Mandelker: people bringing their own experiences to something like this and uh but you know i just i was watching it and i was like you know what i just have to this is how i feel watching it and you know whether it's unpopular or not that's just the way it is but uh yeah food for thoughts we'd love to

46:21Ronnie Karam: hear what everyone wants to say yeah those are great times love this every time i hope it lasts and lasts and lasts i hope it just keeps going and going peaks and valleys peaks and valleys yeah can we get to the peaks like can we just have a spinoff called the peaks that'd be great all right everybody thanks so much for being with us We'll talk to you next time.

47:13Ronnie Karam: Big yay, it's Emily Gauthier.

47:15Ben Mandelker: Erin McNicholas, she don't miss no trick-a-less. You'll never hide from Heidi Eleanor Jones. I go, you go, we all go for Hugo. Jamie, she has no less namey.

47:26Ronnie Karam: Sips some scotch with Jessica Trotch. She's a total knockout, it's Katie Manoff.

47:31Ben Mandelker: She's our favorite streamer, Caroline Peacock.

47:33Ronnie Karam: Kristen the Piston Anderson. Que sera, sera, whatever we'll be, we'll Lauren Sillsby. She gets an A from us, it's Lindsay D. Let's give a kisserino to Lisa Lino Fresh as a daisy It's Maisie McHenry Megan Berg You can't have a burger without the Berg

47:51Ben Mandelker: This is Livin' with Michelle Vivian

47:53Ronnie Karam: I love a ya, Olivia Williamson

47:56Ben Mandelker: She sure is swell It's Raquel

47:58Ronnie Karam: Yes we canna, it's Sadana

48:00Ben Mandelker: Cast a spell with Shannon Spellman Let's share with Sharon Eldridge Darn Skippy, it's Tippi

48:07Ronnie Karam: And our super premium sponsors She's VVIP, it's Amanda V

48:12Ben Mandelker: Somebody get us 10 cc's of Betsy MD

48:14Ronnie Karam: We're taking the gold with Brenda Silva Let's get real with Caitlin O 'Neill Put us on a stretcher, it's Charlotte Fletcher Hoagel your horses, it's Christine Hoagel Don't get salty with Christine Pepper Can't have a meal without the Emily sides

48:30Ben Mandelker: Who, what, why, where, and Gwen Pentland Nobody holds a candle to Jamie Kendall We got our wish, it's Jen Plish Have a kebab with K-Rob My favorite Murdo, Karen McMurdo. Let's get savage with Laura Wildman. In the study with a candlestick, it's Leslie Peacock. We're ride or die for Lisa Ryder Barron. She's a whiz, it's Liz Sarthy. Always killing it, it's Lola Alkalani. Roger that, it's Marlis Rogers.

48:57Ronnie Karam: The incredible edible Matthews sisters. She eases our woes, it's Melissa St. Rose. She's the lady of the house, it's Rachel Sherouse. There's a chance of meatballs, it's Rebecca Cloud. She's our princess. It's Rebecca Prince.

49:11Ben Mandelker: She's the Queen Bee. It's Sarah Lemke. We cannot tell a lie. It's Sarah Talafsun. Shannon out of a cannon Anthony. Please don't stop. It's Soli and Pop. Let's take off with Tam LaPlane. Strike a pose. It's Tori Rose.

49:26Ronnie Karam: She ain't no shrinking Violet Kuchar. We love you guys.

50:06Ben Mandelker: We'll be right back. So don't wait. Shop Wayfair's Memorial Day clearance now through May 25th. Wayfair, every style, every home. Parles-tu français?

50:17Ronnie Karam: Hablas espagnol? Parle italiano?

50:20Ben Mandelker: If you've used Babbel, you would. Babbel's conversation-based technique teaches you useful words and phrases to get you speaking quickly about the things you actually talk about in the real world. With lessons handcrafted by over 200 language experts and voiced by real native speakers, Babbel is like having a private tutor in your pocket. Start speaking with Babbel today. Get up to 55 % off your Babbel subscription right now at babbel.com slash acast. Spelled b-a-b-b-e-l dot com slash acast. Rules and restrictions may apply.

50:54Ronnie Karam: Hey, it's Paige from Giggly Squad,

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