#3384 The Valley S3E09 Part One: Let Me Get This Off My Chest

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2:21Ben Mandelker: watch what crap ends well hello and welcome to watch what crap ends a podcast about all that crap on bravo that we just love to talk about i'm ben mandelker joining me today is the one

2:39Ronnie Karam: and only ronnie carom hi ronnie how's it going hello how are you i am doing just great today

2:47Ben Mandelker: we are talking about the valley next week. We have two nights of music and joy. We're doing cabaret in New York city, June 3rd, June 5th, two shows on June 5th and tickets are sold out, but you can stream them. You can buy your tickets at watch what crappens.com or using the link on our social media tickets for streaming are available until showtime, at which point the ticket link is no longer available, but you can still stream for a week after. uh also join us on patreon and join us every monday although not this monday because we are going to be doing cabaret prep for amazon live and uh that's all the fun stuff for today let's get into the valley ronnie what did you think about the latest episode of the valley boring

3:40Ronnie Karam: oh the show needs some help the show needs some help get a new crazy couple in there get rid of a couple of them get a crazy new couple in there let's do this okay let's get this show back come on so i believe in you guys zach's having fun though you gotta have it to zach you gotta hand it to zach zach will have fun in any room zach probably is that guy who has fun at a funeral You know, he'll have a good time anywhere, but oof.

4:05Ben Mandelker: Well, because he's probably just walking around to show being like, look at all these crazy straight people. Yeah, I mean, I'm definitely enjoying it. I think more than you are. I like it. I've been perfectly happy with it this season, but I know I'm in the minority. I did have a Valley celebrity sighting over the weekend. I saw the one and only Michelle Lally walking down the street. she was walking with Isabella so I don't know if I would have said anything to Michelle anyway but I definitely didn't want to say anything with Isabella there because I was like there's just nothing I could say to her about the show that I feel like wouldn't traumatize Isabella for life like hey I'm on your side with that wretched divorce you're in or hey sorry to hear about that terrible thing that happened in your life on the latest episode because it's every episode Oh, sorry about your dreams that you had to give up for gymnastics.

5:04Ben Mandelker: But yeah, Michelle Lally. And of course, I'm like starstruck. This is like how sad. This is how low the bar is for me. I'm like, oh my God, there's Michelle Lally. She's walking down the street. She's walking down Sycamore Avenue. It's very exciting.

5:16Ronnie Karam: Really made it.

5:18Ben Mandelker: Yeah.

5:19Ronnie Karam: Michelle Lally's in my hood. That's cool.

5:23Ben Mandelker: Yeah. That was the only Valley sighting I had, though. So that was the beginning and the end of the story. So Michelle Lolly's lighting. She's alive. She's walking around.

5:31Ronnie Karam: I also might have to figure out they're walking around instead of just being plugged into one of those Tesla's parking spots. I know. Recharging. Recharging for the next episode.

5:41Ben Mandelker: She looked like she was at like a 67 % charge, I would have to say.

5:45Ronnie Karam: I must be plugged in soon. I use more Mauer when I'm walking down Zygamore Street. Well, that's good. So here we are. the valley season three episode nine bill dev do us bar oh no do that tell deb to do us bard

6:02Ben Mandelker: the bit to do us bar do us bard what's kind of funny about this show is i'm noticing a creep back from the valley they're shooting more and more scenes on the other side of the hills i've noticed aka not the valley and i like this production just not want to go into the valley anymore because we open up at salty girl which is on the sunset strip and they go to several places it was good yeah we went there

6:30Ronnie Karam: it was really um you know yeah i've noticed that too but i'm not going to complain because we watched the persian valley and that they they really are in the valley most of the time and that those restaurants are just terrible i mean i was i was triggered i was la la triggered by some of the restaurant locations like the valley is getting a lot better with cute places there's a lot of cute places out there now and um they for some reason don't shoot at those places they only shoot at the ones that use home depot floor tiles on the walls and you know have flies bigger than

7:04Ben Mandelker: fists flying around that restaurant with the home depot tiles on the wall i forget which restaurant that was but i don't think it was actually in the valley i think it was on this side

7:15Ronnie Karam: oh wow a little bit of redemption it's nice to see you guys getting some tasteless shit too

7:20Ben Mandelker: yeah because i remember seeing what what the restaurant was i was like that was the restaurant um but now i absolutely forgot what restaurant it was well um yeah i've noticed that too they're

7:32Ronnie Karam: going back over the hill more but you know what i will say this it's not really helping the show here's what i noticed um kristin you know after last week when kristin was standing up for and this week standing up for danny and apparently on the after show i don't watch the after show but apparently on the after show she's really going hard for Nia and Danny too and then last week when she was saying you know they're couples goals and I really want to be like them and just keep all you keep your shit behind doors and then you know you have a different public facing face or whatever and I've noticed that now like this scene that we're about to recap is just very Kristen trying to be Nia and Danny where it's like let's go to dinner and just talk about how happy we are We're just going to have a happy little dinner and get the fuck out of here.

8:19Ronnie Karam: I don't believe you. Okay. I do not believe you. And when you come on national TV and say that you're going to be faking it to try and be like me and Danny, what are you even doing here, Kristen? Just this is not why we watch you, Kristen. We watch you because you're a messy, messy, crazy person whose, you know, nutcase emotions are worn on their sleeve. I don't want I don't want to watch a nice Kristen. This is bullshit. Let go of this robot. Bring me Kristen back.

8:47Ben Mandelker: Oh, it's going to come back. It's going to come back. She's just trying. She's just trying. She can never really keep it together like that. Do not applaud the effort. I guess now would also be a good time that I think apparently last week on our Valley recap, I started, I segued into calling Danny Buko into Danny Zuko from Greece. so if any of you guys notice that it has been it has been brought to my attention now that would

9:20Ronnie Karam: be funny if it was danny zuko from reese he if you know his whole life he just wanted to be cast as danny zuko and never ever was he was always one of he was always squiggy or whatever well so that was from laverne and shirley but was was squiggy and grease squiggy um i don't know who Who Squiggy is. Was Squiggy in Grease. Who is Squiggy? From Laverne and Shirley. Isn't that his name, Squiggy? You know, I've never seen an episode of Laverne and Shirley. Guys, I've got huge news. David Lander, who played Squiggy, did not appear in the original movie or stage version of Grease. Wow. Are there any casting directors from the past who could call me to apologize?

10:03Ronnie Karam: Because that was some missed casting right there. Okay, so let's get back to this. You haven't seen Grease? the fuck is wrong with you do i need to come over there no no i've seen no no no i've just never

10:13Ben Mandelker: seen laverne and shirley ben that's just me i know but you know what um growing up we did not have cable and we just had rabbit ears on our tv and so we could only watch the tv channels that came in and because my parents were like they didn't care about tv and of course as soon as i went up to college they got direct tv they're like oh actually we decided we want to have 500 channels as like my childhood spent like watching abc through like you know distortion and uh so as a result if sitcoms were played if certain sitcoms were played on certain tv networks that i couldn't get in i just couldn't watch them we barely got pbs i really watched sesame street or mr rogers as a child i just couldn't see it i it wasn't it wasn't available to me it was like uh it was an NBC was the best channel that came in for me.

11:07Ben Mandelker: Well, Mr.

11:07Ronnie Karam: Rogers was a good one to miss, I think. Everybody, like, kisses Mr. Rogers' ass now. They're like, oh, my God, Mr. Rogers, the hero of positive television. All that man did was put on a goddamn sweater and sing like a creepy perv next door. That guy, if that guy was around today. A whole lot more than these guys on the Valley do. That's true. If that guy was around today, I think he would be arrested. He just seems very, like, creepy. Like, bring me your children. No. Get away from me, sweater man.

11:33Ben Mandelker: go over there i did love that one puppet that one lady puppet wasn't it oh yeah that was the best puppet i loved her but the point is kristen and luke have a really happy relationship guys so they're at they're at a date night and um kristen's like i feel like my boobs are gonna fall out oh

11:51Ronnie Karam: he's like oh those are my fun bags huh thanks for carrying them around for me i really appreciate it

11:59Ben Mandelker: oh yeah well um you got you want to start with an artichoke i don't know why that just made me laugh christen doady's existential question of the week do you want to start with an artichoke

12:12Ronnie Karam: he's like yeah let's do an artichoke how do you follow up they're my fun bags do you want an artichoke pretty that's it that's it ding ding ding correct answer what's that

12:25Ben Mandelker: snowman song do you want to play build a snowman do you want to start with an artichoke

12:35Ben Mandelker: so um yes uh so luke is basically gonna get some tin fish and uh i felt bad for kristin because i i remember when i ordered a bunch of tin fish at that same restaurant and everyone was like really um so she's like i also feel bad for kristin because he's like taking her on date

12:53Ronnie Karam: night so he wants to get laid because that's his whole storyline the season is wanting to get laid and then he's going to just sit there and munch on tin fish before he sticks his tongue down her throat you know this is this is when you date a guy like luke this is what they do you know let's go on a date night so we can bone later and i'm going to eat tin fish and oysters and also could you just like mush up some garlic and put it into a glass of really stinky wine for me oh and for dessert i'll have blue cheese great

13:23Ben Mandelker: so christian's like well i was stressed i was i mean i was excited getting out of the house but then i was stressed because kaya had spit up so luke is like you hear luke call your boobs fun

13:34Ronnie Karam: bags guy was like i said i wanted to start with an artichoke well you know the motherly instinct and the fatherly instinct are two different things And that's like something, you know, we can articulate. Because just like when we talked in San Diego, like I took it off my chest. That's all I wanted. I'm not asking you to be perfect or be different. Like, be you. And if there are times that anxiety makes you say things to you, she goes, it's always anxiety. That's always why.

14:12Ben Mandelker: See, yeah. Well, it's nice to hear it sometimes instead of just like you assume. I always know that's what it is well why don't you know so their food shows up how many times I thought I started the artichoke um it's like can I have an artichoke I'm very anxious right now is that better at least can I just get something that has a heart around here I don't get it it's artichoke humor you would know if you liked them

14:41Ronnie Karam: hold on let me look at the nanny cam oh she's just rocking ladies stop stalking me let me do my goddamn job wait a second kristin that's not kaya

14:51Ben Mandelker: it's just an artichoke at home yeah what's the problem with that

14:56Ronnie Karam: hi artichoke i've got one of your cousins here it's an artichoke your artichoke cousin is feeling anxious right now is this the artichoke i carried i used to have one of those little cameras in my house for bueller well actually i got it because one of my landlords was coming into my apartment and stealing weed and I wanted to catch him and I did by the way then he got fired or rebuy my weed which was crazy uh anyway what was the point oh I kept it because I was like oh this is really neat I can watch Buehler I had like a little speaker on it and I oh well this is when I had Xena actually it wasn't even Buehler and I would be like hey Xena what's up and she would start looking around the house and finally she just got to the point if this dog had the ability to raise her middle finger every time she heard she did not want to hear my voice she was like leave me the fuck alone you don't you're here enough like i don't get any breaks from you can i just sit here and lick my you know private parts without you coming over a loudspeaker you dick uh i assumed that you still had like a little cam up

16:05Ben Mandelker: when i went to your house yesterday i just assumed i was on camera for you not in that

16:10Ronnie Karam: I do have cameras in there, but no, not in there.

16:13Ben Mandelker: Yeah, I just figured you were like, you know, just to check in, make sure the place is okay.

16:19Ronnie Karam: I'm like, Ben's coming over to my house.

16:22Ben Mandelker: I was like, I feel like I'm in sliver. I don't know why I feel like Carl for that. I'm on sliver. I'm on Carl sliver.

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17:45Ronnie Karam: Okay, so now they're talking about brunch with the girl. They're talking about brunch with the girl.

17:50Ben Mandelker: Saddest sliver. Carl Sliver is the saddest sliver of all time. I'm going to be a lawyer. I'm going to watch a guy just making his bed.

18:00Ronnie Karam: although actually it's a guy it's a guy who's playing an app that's crocheting something so i'm crocheting but it's through an app why am why am i acting like we don't already watch

18:11Ben Mandelker: carl sliver it's called summer house literally even do the thing at the end yeah that's true okay um so kristin's like um well uh by the way i guess in san diego lala said there was like some not good behavior with Danny. He's like, yeah, for some reason they want to keep pursuing Danny in this, like having a drinking problem when you can make the case about anybody else. Christian's like, yeah, that's a really good point. Like, uh, yes, you guys all have drinking problems. That's fine. You guys drink a lot.

18:41Ronnie Karam: And they're probably, it's not about the drinking. I'm going to say it for the first time right now. And then I'm going to say it 50 more times throughout this episode. Absolutely. It is not about your drinking. It is about your fucking behavior towards people, sir. Stop blaming it on drinking. Like, well, we all drink and we all drink. Yeah. You don't all emotionally abuse your wives in public. So some of you do, I'm not saying none of you do, but Danny, the problem with Danny is that he is abusing his wife publicly and people are going to comment on it publicly.

19:13Ben Mandelker: You know what it is? It's like that. It's, it's like, and they all have different problematic things that they do. But I think with Danny, what's hard is that there's also this attachment of of uh nice guy imagery that's a really weird way to say that he has a nice guy image and and like he is i feel like he and me are actively maintaining it and i think there's one thing to keep things behind closed doors but there's also another thing to have bakery and i i think there's like this he has he maintains a facade of like yeah i'm just danny buco just a family man love being in the suburbs love raising my children love making zombie noises professionally that's just who i am i'm a nice guy it's like well we're seeing we're seeing through it the mask has dropped and we've seen too much and now you're gonna try to lift it up again and act like nothing happened it's like no we've seen it we've seen it we suspected it but now we've seen it and like you you have to like acknowledge you can't act like this they can't just be like oh i said i was sorry i took accountability like that's not enough

20:21Ronnie Karam: and you're not taking accountability because even in this episode he's like oh so now i'm not allowed to drink everyone else drinks see that's not accountability it's how you talk to your wife sir and if you keep making excuses and then blaming other people that's not taking accountability sir so um kristen's like well i want to believe that lala is not just being an asshole but I mean I do know Lala and I know Danny and Nia and it's hard for me to believe that he would speak to Nia that way okay well you were there when he was doing it at the park and at the Safari Park and at the you know whatever the Western Playland sorry that's in El Paso whatever the

21:04Ben Mandelker: Coney Island when they went to Coney Island

21:07Ronnie Karam: whatever the fuck it was yes the theme park or whatever yeah you saw it there too Kristen so are you just washing that out of your brain you have seen it don't pretend you haven't seen it you've seen it but now you have an alliance with somebody and you're just going to let it slide and that's not cool

21:27Ben Mandelker: yeah he's like I love Danny and I feel like Danny and Nia have just been like crucial for peace of mind and thus becoming new parents absolutely and like babe I'm so happy your boobs are so huge i just could stuff my anchovy face into it right now artichoke

21:48Ronnie Karam: i thought that was are you laughing

21:52Ben Mandelker: i sense you coming near my boobs at a restaurant i had to say artichoke i'm gonna have i'm gonna be thorny like ones get away from me and he goes she goes are you

22:00Ronnie Karam: gonna even sleep tonight and he goes well i mean i woke up and went fishing oh geez so do you see she's she's giving him everything he wants boobs and fishing and we see uh we see how uh luke and

22:14Ben Mandelker: danny went fishing together where were they fishing in my memory it was like in the la river or something like that it was like some man-made river or pond or something i don't know like it didn't look like it didn't look like it was off in a pond in the middle of colorado um so he's like yeah i fished with danny and then i came home and we had sex and this is a damn good day babe yeah i was so proud of that can you brought home it was so cool wow went fishing this morning now i'm at a fish restaurant i don't know what to do with myself and my girlfriend's boobs are out

22:42Ronnie Karam: you're living the life he really is that's all he wants he's like he really presented your your boobs great tonight babe so i needed a bigger dress okay so then they kiss um and i make you know i stick my finger down my throat and then um lala and michelle go for a hike and uh michelle's like are you scared of the sun she's like yeah i'm terrified of the suns uh lala has like a hat on

23:10Ben Mandelker: but then she's like attached like a like a band like a handkerchief or like a thing around the hat under her chin i was like i don't know if that's really gonna be helpful but sure um so michelle's like we are gonna be sweating we'll do the cement way of runyon canyon instead of these stairs she's like yeah thanks because i have like a fear of going down no comment no comment that's why i don't usually hike but because i can go up but i can't come down how do you feel by the

23:41Ronnie Karam: way i have to have a conversation with jesse i was going back and forth with a lawyer because you know about the sba loan she's like um during kovitch because yes during govid i never knew that he got a$300 ,000 loan and put it in his jegging account and then spend the money. This fucking guy.

24:02Ben Mandelker: Just when he was getting a decent edit.

24:05Ronnie Karam: So don't worry, everybody. He's not only fucking over his wife and his child. He's also fucking over you, the taxpayer, getting a fucking COVID loan. What a dick. I know. Didn't they forgive all of those anyway? What'd you say? Didn't they forgive all of those?

24:22Ben Mandelker: I don't know. but uh what i do know what i do know is that like not only did he do this not only did he get a loan and spend it all for himself he's not even really contesting it he's not even like no no the what no that was for the family it was for the business i had to do it to keep the business afloat whatever but he's just like i did and now can you pay me half like there's not even And he's not even bothering to try to show any shame about this. He's like, no, yeah. She's like, later on in the episode, she's like, I'm going to give you$150 ,000. And he doesn't have a moment where he says, what?

25:01Ben Mandelker: That's crazy. You don't have to do that. That's my own hole. I have to dig myself out of that. He's like, okay.

25:07Ronnie Karam: Yeah. It's crazy. Well, he tells her. She says right now. She's like, and when I asked for a divorce, he said, oh, yeah, by the way, I've got this 300k loan and you've got to pay half of it because you were married to me by what the hell and has been in collection so he hasn't made a payment and now they have to pay 30 grand up front and then make monthly payments and he's like well i can't pay that money he called her last week and he's like i don't have fifteen thousand dollars oh my god like it's time for you to sell your home

25:36Ben Mandelker: sir that's what that means time to downsize yeah time to do something this is crazy this is this

25:44Ronnie Karam: guy is this guy's not even hot enough for this you know what i mean like what is happening here what is this network doing to me i feel like this network is just showing is just throwing shitty man after shitty man like i can't take it anymore not that i have this huge belief in men or anything but it's like come on i don't watch this for this network is women having to support

26:07Ben Mandelker: these guys uh which by the way i'm fine with a woman supporting a guy but there's but these are such dead bees like uh what's her face uh britney with jacks she had to pay for everything with jacks now you have michelle having to pay for everything with jesse but then they make their

26:20Ronnie Karam: lives hell that's what i can't stand luke and kristin what does that guy do i have no idea what

26:26Ben Mandelker: he does still i really don't have any idea but i don't i don't get the sense that there's i mean i don't know what she does either to be to be fair she sells t-shirts i don't know how they actually some like influencary stuff but yeah you know but i think it's it's like this is really flagrant in terms of jesse and and jacks they both act like they're breadwinners they're the man of the house potter familius they're doing all these things they're not paying a dime their wives are doing it all for them and then they're going to treat them like shit and i just think that's terrible i mean i'm happy for a wife to support the man i think that's great but then in return the man should be respectful and kind you know like supporting him right like don't be a dick to the person who's like affording you your lifestyle supporting an asshole and loose

27:14Ronnie Karam: stained underwear is just beyond i'd like it's just beyond me i can't with a hair dance i'm glad I didn't see Michelle walking on the street because I would have been like, can I borrow some money? My underwear fit. I should at least get 400K. I mean, what the hell? So Michelle.

27:31Ben Mandelker: Can you buy me my$14 scone from Tarteen? Thank you very much.

27:35Ronnie Karam: Yeah, really? So Michelle's like, well, I could have gone to Gord, but my lawyer said you are going to spend the money and time. What's the point? It's not even worth it. Yeah, it is. I mean, how much is lawyer fees? Is it going to equal$300 ,000? Because I think$10 would be worth it to not pay$150. Listen to me trying to do math.

27:58Ben Mandelker: I'm like, I think the thing is that it's going to cost more than that. And then she's probably, even if she rules in her favor, she probably won't get that money. And then if she tries to collect on lawyer fees, there's no money there.

28:12Ronnie Karam: Well, I wonder if she's getting, I'm hoping that she's getting some kind of paperwork that's like, okay, I'll pay this, but then you don't get anything from me. Like you don't get child support. You don't get alimony. You don't get all that. Cause you know, California is wonky and Jack, you know, Jack's is trying to go for all of that. So why wouldn't Jesse be like, well, we were business partners and she makes more than me. So she should be paying me child support and alimony. So hopefully she's being smart and working out some kind of deal, but she did marry Jesse. So I'm not banking on that one, but so also how terrible is Jesse?

28:45Ben Mandelker: I mean, how terrible is he that she is willing to take a 150 000 hit just to get out of the situation just to get i kind of feel like for people who are like i'm team jesse i'm team michelle whatever like you really have to think about that you really have to think like how miserable must someone be that they're willing to pay that much money to get out of a relationship this isn't like Like, I didn't like how you treat me because of this. And he's like, no, but I treat you like this. And I didn't like how you treat it. It's not like a difference of perspective. This is someone who is truly, truly unhappy with this man.

29:26Ben Mandelker: This man has made her so deeply, deeply sad and miserable. She's been sad ever since we met this poor woman. And she's willing to pay that much money. Like, you've got to, like, he's been getting a nice edit. And this is, I think, a sobering reminder that he's a piece of shit.

29:46Ronnie Karam: Yeah, truly. So he called her last week and said, yeah, and also I can't pay for half of Isabella's health insurance because that's$400 total and he couldn't even pay$200. This is crazy. And Lala speaks again for everybody when she goes, what? He's a fucking clown. Like, what? And she's like, you know, health insurance is the bare minimum for a child and you can't even do that? Like, I will never again procreate with a man.

30:12Ben Mandelker: yeah and obviously there are people who cannot afford health insurance but he's living a lifestyle and he's on tv and he can't pony up 200 for that when we see him going to dinner at javier's and you know newport beach i don't yeah it's wild well obviously trying to move into his new

30:34Ronnie Karam: girlfriend's mansion you know which god i hope this girl smartens up because come on lexi come on Lexi if you can you can date Jesse okay fine maybe you believe in believe in maybe believe all the bullshit that he's been giving you up until this point if you watch this and you're still thinking that this is going to be the man that you want to raise your children you you are

30:55Ben Mandelker: nuts okay yeah leave this man yeah seriously it's crazy so um Lala's like yeah I mean if he can't pull together$200 like where is he getting money to splurge on shoes and wines and Michelle I was like, somebody's being for it. I bet you it's Lacey, Detective Lala on the case. Yeah, wow.

31:16Ronnie Karam: No, it's the ghost of Nancy Reagan. Yeah, it's Nancy Reagan. She's like, I'm only supporting you because you were married to a lady who believed in don't say gay.

31:27Ben Mandelker: Okay, so here's some shoes.

31:32Ronnie Karam: Yeah, what was I going to say about that? Where's the money on shoes and wine? Oh, somebody's paying it. Yeah, it's like last season when he was calling her a hooker. And saying that she was taking money from rich people. What are you doing? What do you think this is, sir?

31:47Ben Mandelker: I know, exactly. So Lala's like, yeah, I'm pretty sure, by the way, I put my pants on backwards. And you cannot tell because everyone's looking at that crazy scarf on your head. So now we go to Kristen and Luke's house and Zach has arrived. And Zach's like, hi, how are you doing? I slept barely at all. I've been rushing all morning. Like, it's so early. Oh, my God. What do I do? What do I do? Oh, my God. Nia's almost here. Well, I texted her over the weekend. It was like, I just want to ask how she felt about San Diego. Um, yeah. I don't want this to feel like it's, like, some big deal, even though we're sitting her down on the sofa and have cameras in her face.

32:28Ben Mandelker: But, like, I just think that's, like, something where there's, like, noticed behavior. And, like, we just, like, want to point it out.

32:35Ronnie Karam: She's like, um, well, I think that Nia knows exactly who her husband is. So, yeah, but she's denying who her husband is so she can keep her fragile little world together, you know? And so she's like, you know, Danny's just extra. And Danny sober isn't somebody they think is funny. So if you don't like him sober, you're certainly not going to like him drunk. Okay.

32:56Ben Mandelker: Well, I think that may be that. That's yes, that's exactly right. We don't like him sober. So can he fix his outlook and the way he behaves when he's sober? That way he's not 10 times worse when he's drunk.

33:09Ronnie Karam: Yeah, so Nia arrives with Adelaide, who, you know, God bless her, is going to need a back brace after this scene. I've never seen a baby bounce so much. I mean, that baby, what is this, like the 1800s? Is that baby being taken somewhere in a rush on a horse? Because when Nia gets agitated, she just starts galloping in place. That poor baby is just flopping all, I'm like, support her head!

33:34Ben Mandelker: yeah nia's like uh like balancing the baby in her and the little in the in the baby bjorn type

33:41Ronnie Karam: thing whatever but it's like it's it's not for the baby yeah she starts she puts the baby on and then she's like this baby is gonna this baby is gonna lose its head okay there's gonna be a

33:55Ben Mandelker: live doggy park get ready adelaide adelaide is like i'm fucking ready mom can we go in this house

34:01Ronnie Karam: already so they get me around dogs get me around lions just get me away from the other three fucking kids i mean jesus seriously one of my cat was i born into a fucking litter can i have

34:13Ben Mandelker: one minute to myself seriously and of course jill is like whoa and chris is like jill so then um

34:20Ronnie Karam: she goes it's a baby and jill's like okay and just lays down jill's like oh never mind i thought it was takeout so thought it was an artichoke stealer all right i'll see them right over here

34:32Ben Mandelker: i just want to protect this house from anyone who might want to steal the art jokes as long as you say it's a baby it's fine i always think about how without by the way season one when britney left all those rose petals on the floor and then jill ate the rose petals and had like massive diarrhea yeah is that that happened right or did we just like make that up i think

34:52Ronnie Karam: that happened or maybe it happened i know she had diarrhea at the same time those rose petals were there and i think we were like she ate the rose petals yeah so um nia comes in with this baby and she's like guys rough night oh god she wouldn't latch maybe there's something on my nipples that she didn't like i don't know oh yeah your boob tasted weird mom

35:15Ben Mandelker: yeah i tasted weird you had funky nips okay i'm not gonna yes hand that one so then i lay that right in zach's face uh not unlike that scene with the with the dinosaur the brontosaurus that sneezes in the little girl's face uh in jurassic park um so zach is uh like oh my god i've like only tasted sheena's breast milk oh you can try mine i think i just did that's what i was gonna to say i was setting up a joke nia let me finish i have some frozen breast milk if anybody wants

35:49Ronnie Karam: um yeah let's let's just you know what let's not talk about your breast milk or san diego

35:54Ben Mandelker: wait a second wait a second wait a second before we start does anyone want an artichoke

36:02Ronnie Karam: no it's okay it's made out of my breast milk and i made it in san diego whoops damn it i don't want to talk about either one of those things okay whatever you do let's just not talk about San Diego. Um, actually, uh, we went to lunch with Brittany and Lala and Lala said, Danny was like drunk and talking to you in a crappy way. She's like, um, well, um, I wouldn't have worded it like that. Actually, Daniel was intense because he was like, you know, wanting to be super competitive and it was just a lot. And so he had a moment and he apologized for it and it is what it is. Hold on. Creepy wife, smile, creepy, creepy Stepford wife, smile.

36:42Ronnie Karam: We're going to drop this

36:43Ben Mandelker: now right everything's fine so here's the other thing i i hate this thing of like no he was intense because he's super competitive did anyone tell danny he was not in a real competition isn't that like alone kind of troublesome that you guys were in a gag pageant and he was getting super competitive over that like isn't that like a red flag for you like this wasn't the super bowl this wasn't even little league god i would be afraid to see him at little league he's probably one of those monster parents you know so like oh he's super competitive this wasn't a competition this was a funny little thing to make people laugh and then you move on with your nights the fact that he was being intense and competitive in this moment that was one of the issues it's like he was not in line with everyone else's drunken behavior in that moment and it's happened too many times where he's been like out of sync and too extra and too much and it's just not enough to be like oh you're super competitive it's like that has well well and also it's been going on all weekend you know

37:46Ronnie Karam: this had been going on at the park it had been going he's been an asshole this whole weekend and it wasn't always when he was drunk and this is stupid so kristen's like well lala did tell me that danny went back to her and was like oh you're mistriggered on she goes well he apologized for that and you know he said i shouldn't have said that and they literally hugged it out so for me and the way I handle things, if I can tell someone is genuinely sorry, I'm not going to keep carrying it on for days and days and days and days and days and days and it feels like that's what's happening here. It really feels like that's what's happening here.

38:20Ronnie Karam: Mia. Mia. Mia. Okay, then go forgive Janet.

38:26Ben Mandelker: That's exactly what I was saying. She added that caveat. She said, if I feel like someone is genuinely sorry. So she's going to say, I don't feel like Janet is genuinely sorry.

38:35Ronnie Karam: Well, I would say that Janet was as genuinely sorry as Danny is because Danny does the same thing over and over, you know, and I actually do believe that, that Janet was about as sincere as Danny. So, but if you can forgive her, if you can, I mean, she has to forgive him because he's the husband, I guess. She doesn't have to. Exactly. In her mind.

38:54Ben Mandelker: No, but that's what she has to say. And that was my first thought was like, well, then you should apologize to Janet. I mean, you should be okay with Janet because Janet has given you an apology. and uh but that doesn't fit with the worldview especially because she needs to have someone that what she's receiving so much shit from danny she needs to have someone that she can just sort of like dump that on i do believe so zach is like um i don't think she was like trying to make it anything bigger than what it was i will say that like sometimes when he drinks like that like masculine toxic male like whatever comes out and i feel like he doesn't realize he's doing it Zach's very sweet way of saying your husband is a toxic man.

39:35Ronnie Karam: Yeah. Yeah. He's like when he drinks, he's a toxic asshole. Maybe he just doesn't realize it. And Kristen says, well, does Danny know that when he gets drunk that he acts like a fool? And she's like, yeah, yeah. You know, we, you know, we, I know it's like, you guys think we don't have healthy communication in our marriage or that we don't have awareness. Oh, no. We know you have very healthy communication. we know that in order to communicate the way that he really wants to communicate that he insists uh angrily that his mic be taken off and that you take yours off so that no one else can hear it

40:06Ben Mandelker: that's sounds great yeah sounds sounds wonderful yeah um zach is like i mean it's one of those things where it's like okay like it's a behavior that maybe has been repeated a few times i mean has there not been everybody in this friend group that's gotten into drunk you like into a drunken thing here and there and like why is it this the thing that when every single person in the friend group has done that like why is it about my husband well you should think of that you should ask yourself that because everyone has jack got kicked out of out of jack's a few times right

40:40Ronnie Karam: jack's went to rehab um jack's been plenty of drunken apology the people apologizing for being drunk and people being called out for being drunk all the time and um this is not about your husband being drunk again this is about his behavior towards you i genuinely don't think that people

40:57Ben Mandelker: want to um pile onto danny just to have like a reality tv moment uh because i think there's i think if they want to do that they would just pile on to janet again or onto jesse even but like there's but i think they're like yeah this is danny basically i think the long and the short of it is for other people, Danny wilds out and then, uh, it makes it awkward and strange for everyone and no one likes it. And so it's like, can you get him under control? So that way when we all go out as a group, we can have fun. Like if you guys are like, if he's going to be like garbage to you up in Santa Clarita, that's your, this is your choice now at this point, like you've, you've made your bed.

41:38Ben Mandelker: This is the dynamic that you guys prefer. But for us, like when you guys come around us, can you like not be an asshole? Because then we don't know what to do and we want to jump in. we want to say something, but then we feel bad for saying something and you make it feel like we're the bad ones for saying something. And that's all strange and weird. So can you just get him in order? Thank you very much.

41:55Ronnie Karam: Well, they see her constantly trying to get him in order. So she is trying to get him in order. She just can't do it. And so she's frustrated now that she's being called out on her shitty relationship, you know, and she's taking it very personally because she has chosen to stay with this person. And now they're putting themselves in the position of like now you're the villain because you're going to talk against my husband and the first thing the first thing in my life is my husband and my children and if you ever talk about my husband I'm not going to be around you it's like okay but they're just trying to help you and I mean I get where Nia I have sympathy for where Nia is coming from but it only goes up to a certain point because at you know there's a certain point where you're enabling becomes you're enabling the abuse of everybody else around you.

42:39Ronnie Karam: And that's not cool. Like if that's your choice, then that's your choice. I can't make you stop. I can tell you I'll be there to support you if you're going to stop. I can encourage you to stop and to have self-respect, but I can't make you. But when that shit starts leaking all over the place, sorry, Nia, but that's now you're that's what you're choosing to stand up for. And that's ridiculous. You're in an abusive situation. You get the fuck out of there. This is crazy. or you at least need to have enough self-awareness to see what everybody else is seeing and say yes i understand how danny's coming off that way whatever we need to do to fix it we'll we'll fix it and just shut up about it but yeah this con like what she does now as she stands up she straps the baby to her she starts hopping all over the place and giving that baby god knows what how many neck cricks and freaking out on them and it's like babe no i mean i do think like if if it were

43:33Ben Mandelker: you know you know like in terms of like if it's an abusive situation it's obviously never as easy to be like well just leave just leave because obviously that's the whole point is that like it's it's such a mind fuck and by the way we're saying i think abusive just like verbally or emotionally whatever but um it's like you know what it's not it's not as simple as like oh just leave uh because there's obviously so much mind fuckery that the person never feels like they can or they shouldn't or whatever. Maybe they can't do better or maybe they'll scare it, whatever it is. So I totally understand that.

44:06Ben Mandelker: I think what's hard for probably the people in this group is that it's like, okay, you're in this situation and we'll help you as much as we can, but don't tell us that everything is fine or don't try to sell us on him. Don't try to tell us that, oh, he's nice. He just had a bad moment. It's like you're really reading out of the playbook here. Like, it's like, don't do that to us.

44:31Ronnie Karam: I mean, and look, as far as I'm concerned, that's her business. So she wants to tell me everything's fine. Okay, that's fine. But don't turn it around and say everybody in here is drinking. Everybody does it. It's everybody. It's everybody. And start trying to turn it around on everybody else. It's not, that's not the point. The point is his behavior. It's not his drinking. And you can't turn it around on everybody else. Like, that's not cool. You can enable your husband all you want to, but I don't have to. So you can live with a lie as much as you want to or you need to I shouldn't say want to I don't think anybody wants to be in this position.

45:03Ronnie Karam: But you can't expect everybody else around you to live in La La Land with you because this is this is crazy. And her friends are trying to help her. Hopefully one day she'll see that her friends were just trying to help her.

45:15Ben Mandelker: She will. She will. I actually do believe she will see that. um so nia tells us daniel had a bad moment and it's been acknowledged and apologized for but at the end of the day you did nothing for nothing and that's just not who he is so i don't know why other people want to hold him to his worst moment i mean i think that's why i mean those are i mean that's what happens in life that's just ask anybody in jail how they feel

45:44Ronnie Karam: about being held to their worst moment.

45:46Ben Mandelker: I know. There are a lot of people who get held to not even their worst moment, and they suffer bigger consequences than Danny has. I'll tell you that much. So, Nia is like, Daniel doesn't drink at home, so we go out and he gets a little spicy with me and nobody else, and all of a sudden, he's a terrible person. I'm like, wait. Oh, he's a... God, why is he a terrible person for getting spicy with the person who's supposed to be closest to him? Gosh, why is that? Nice to everyone else but shitty to his wife god why is he considered a terrible person from that yeah and it wasn't

46:19Ronnie Karam: that he was just spicy with you either he was spicy with lala which is what this conversation is about she's just gonna she's just gonna spin herself in circles over this and she's like you know we don't need to be friends with people that don't want to be friends with us because people who know know who he is and his heart and his personality they're the ones we want to be friends with this is bs and he's like well you know it's just one of those things where like i think that he thinks he's like joking or having fun or something no daniel will get drunk as many or as often or less than anybody else in our friend group gets drunk and it just may feel like a lot because we don't hang out very often and it just happens maybe once every handful of times that he has a little bit too much nia it's happened many many times and he was not drunk this whole time and it doesn't matter if it just happens one time if i was out with somebody who acted like this that's it if they ever act like that again i'm gone and again i get that it's not the same way in a marriage but there also is a point where it has to be like you know oh my god this is i don't know i don't even know what to say it's just such a it's just such a horrible situation you know i know you can't just tell somebody well then leave you know but at the same time you're going to eventually anyway eventually it does come down to leaving i just hope she finds the strength to do it because this is just crazy listening to her and the watching this baby bounce is making me nervous

47:48Ben Mandelker: the bouncing was actually very stressful it was like a constant so long to talk about the scene

47:53Ronnie Karam: that the baby literally is still bouncing up just bouncing head it's been bouncing up for 20 minutes

47:58Ben Mandelker: now just imagine how jill felt jill's like is there gonna be a ball coming out of this or what

48:05Ben Mandelker: um but yeah so now dia is in a tizzy and she's sort of like lashing out at others right because of it because she's frustrated um it's a frustrating position to be in because you know it's hard to confront these sort of things and so i really feel bad for her but also like don't tell me that danny is it was a one-time thing and like and then please don't give me the whole thing about like well he barely drinks at the one time he does drink but when he does drink he's a lunatic yeah pounding bottles of tequila in the pantry he comes to the wine thing it's like he's chugging beers to catch up it's like i'm sorry he's not drinking like a chill person he's just not he's

48:45Ronnie Karam: just not drinking normally you you also you know she's also saying like code words like he's he doesn't drink at home oh he can't be an alcoholic because one of the alcohol things is like when you drink alone at home, you might be an alcoholic, you know, something they always used to say. And so she's like, well, he doesn't drink at home. Nia, come on, man. And I think it's more frustrating to her because she has tried. She has. It's not like she's not saying anything to Danny. She is saying something to him and she is telling him it's not OK. And she is standing up to him in a way when it's just the two of them and trying to keep it private.

49:20Ronnie Karam: She's just having a problem that other people are doing it because she feels like it's only her business. But it's been made public now and it's everybody's business and if your friends see this happening and they don't

49:29Ben Mandelker: say anything to you they're shitty friends yeah and quite frankly everyone's shit on this show has been rummaged through and i'm not saying that that that means you're not entitled to have privacy but like you know also don't act surprised that like the shit stick is coming towards you now like it's just that's part of being on reality tv yeah so she's like i'm overwhelmed

49:53Ronnie Karam: I'm the fuck this. I gotta go. Like, I'm glad it was you guys and not somebody else. And I still love you, but this sucks. Commercials. Here comes one right now.

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51:37Ronnie Karam: Now we go to Nia and Danny's house and he's like, hello, love. It's just me. Perfect little Danny. Sweet, sweet little Danny. So I go, thank you for putting her down. Like I haven't been able to put her down lately because she just wants my boob. That's all she thinks about. Well, that's one thing we've got in common. Am I right?

51:57Ben Mandelker: So I know I already kind of vented on the car ride home, which, you know, that was like three hours of me venting because Santa Clarita, right? And I said, I would kind of finish filling you in. So I got a little heated because Zach and Kristen had lunch with Brittany and Lala the other day and Lala was sharing about San Diego where she felt triggered and blah, blah, blah. So, of course, she is, like, coming back and, like, throwing all her friends under the bus for the ones who were trying to help her out, which we knew this would happen. This is very, very similar to how Brittany and Jax were back in the day when people would come to Brittany and be like, Jax is not treating you right.

52:36Ben Mandelker: So, Danny's like, I don't understand.

52:38Ronnie Karam: Because she knows that also that he's going to be seeing this on TV and that they're going to have the conversation. Why aren't you sticking up for me? Why would you let her talk about me like that? What are we doing? You're supposed to be in my corner. We already saw him do it on TV with Lala. How would you let her speak to me like that?

52:55Ben Mandelker: You know, I owned up to it. I took accountability. I apologize. Leave me alone. Find someone else to put a target on. You tried to do it last year and it failed. And you're still trying to do it. It's going to fail again. I'm like, they're not doing this to single you out to find a villain on the show. You are the one who's stepping into that target right there. So Nia is like, oh, Zach kept on pushing this point of people in our friend group having a discussion kind of like saying, you know, he becomes too much like his personality. And he's like more intense than maybe he realizes. And I'm like, have you seen Zach drunk?

53:30Ben Mandelker: Yeah, right. Yeah, that's right. And like Brittany can get so intense when she's drunk, which she often does. Yeah, they drink so much. But for some reason, I have a target on my back. Whatever. Just so hypocritical. For some reason, go back and watch the footage.

53:46Ronnie Karam: also to say like oh wow i mean have you seen zach drunk yeah but zach did get called out on that that was a huge plot line when zach got all drunk and was like i don't care if your baby dies or whatever he said to janet that turned out to be true and he was disinvited from a trip you guys still went on the trip you had no problem with him being disinvited on the trip for his absolutely so people do get called out on it on this show so you're not above it so cut the shit and also your friend is trying to help you and then you're sitting here like throwing your friend under the bus like you just exactly so danny's like well you know whatever so hypocritical and so okay sometimes i have a little too much but you know i also do work on that and i have a wellness coach and a therapist his name is jesus and i'm always trying to better myself and get a handle on it and have self-control when i need to i mean geez god you can't even abuse your wife anymore what the hell these people read the bible i don't know i just have to figure

54:45Ben Mandelker: out how i want to go about things but i it's gonna feel uncomfortable because i'm going to britney's night and all the girls are gonna be there and obviously i'm gonna have to say something to lala he's like well feel it out listen treat that room like jasmine's butt feel it out and read the room

55:05Ronnie Karam: so um jason and janet one of the more exciting storylines of the season jason hurt his knee and this is bad he blew out his knee and i feel really bad for him but i i don't know i don't want to watch a knee blown out story sorry that's just my that's just my shallow take for the day it's not that i don't care about your knee i feel really bad for you

55:24Ben Mandelker: but this is a really long scene about your knee you're on a knee to no basis with this storyline line i'm on a needle so jason uh he blew out his knee looked like what did you tear his like acl or mcl or something like that and um he's like getting around right now it's really challenging and like every minute i'm just like i'm not having this procedure before i'm just this wasted minute of my recovery i just want the surgery done today and um basically he's like really upset he's saying he's upset because he wants to be running around with cameron and bonding and everything i was like that's probably true but you probably also are just like trying to get back to crossfit you're like i was just about to break 400 pounds of the bed deadlift or whatever

56:08Ronnie Karam: it's like this is really upsetting i don't want my baby to see me fat i know he's like i'm the

56:15Ben Mandelker: hottest guy on the show and if i become dewy where will i be yeah so he goes for a knee checkup and

56:23Ronnie Karam: it's gonna suck he's gonna be on crutches and stuff it sucks it sucks congratulations you've reached the end of part one of a two-part recap for part two go look for the recap that says

56:34Ben Mandelker: part two see you over there suckers watch what crappens would like to thank its premium sponsors she answered the call it's adia paul ain't no thing like alison king our way is the amber way it's the foster and the furious it's amanda foster it's always automatic with ashley auto Put your hands together for Carly Clapp.

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58:50Ronnie Karam: The Incredible Edible Matthews Sisters. She eases our woes, it's Melissa St. Rose. She's the Lady of the House, it's Rachel Scherouse. There's a Chance of Meatballs, it's Rebecca Cloud. She's our Princess, it's Rebecca Prince. She's the Queen Bee, it's Sarah Lemke.

59:06Ben Mandelker: We Cannot Tell a Lie, it's Sarah Talafson. Shannon, out of a cannon, Anthony. Please don't stop, it's Solian Pop. Let's take off with Tam LaPlane. Strike a pose, it's Tori Rose.

59:18Ronnie Karam: She ain't no shrinking Violet Kuchar. We love you guys.

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