#3402 Below Deck Med S11E01 Part One: Douche Battle

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1:19Watch what happens when there's so much that happens.

1:37Ronnie Karam: Well, hello and welcome to Watch What Crabbins, a podcast for all the crap we love to talk about on the old bruvs. I'm Ronnie. That's Ben. Hi. Hi. How are you?

1:49Ben Mandelker: So nice to see you again, Ronnie. You too. Yesterday I was in here in the studio all alone. I know. I was up in my childhood bedroom, but today I'm back in the big city. You're back in business. I'm back here.

2:00Ronnie Karam: We're still in New York, so we're in the Acast studios this week, or at least I am. Ben will be back in the bedroom tomorrow. No, no.

2:06Ben Mandelker: Tomorrow I'll be here with you as well. Well, there you go.

2:08Ronnie Karam: We're going on Thursday back in the bedroom.

2:10Ben Mandelker: All right.

2:10Ronnie Karam: Well, they can't see us anyway, mostly. If you do want to see us, though, you can get a video of all our recaps at patreon.com slash watch what happens. That's also where you get bonus episodes, a weekly blog of all these shows that I do just ragging on people in written form. And then also that's free, by the way, you can just sign up for that. And also bonus episodes. We're going to cover Love Island today for that. And there's a Discord server to go hang out and all that good stuff. Okay, today is Below Deck Mediterranean Season 11, Episode 1, the beginning of a new season of Below Deck Mutituunian.

2:47Ben Mandelker: What do you think? Wow. Well, it's, you know, it's always a hard pivot going from the blue uniforms to the red ones. You know what? For the first time I've ever on Below Deck. Well, I won't say ever because when sailing yacht was on, maybe I had the same reaction. But I'm like, this boat feels so cramped and small. I've gotten so used to Below Deck down under and how big that boat was. like that galley was enormous all their bedrooms had like all that space and now every crew quarter space is so tight they can't even get like shots and you sort of see like a shoulder and like a head and when they're trying to change side by side they like can't fit i'm like oh i'm actually feeling a bit claustrophobic on this season what do you think it is tight whoa couple of hotties

3:26Ronnie Karam: on this oh yeah a lot of i was like how are they going to make up for bringing back both nathan and Joe, those douchebags. Then they sent two hotties from heaven. My goodness. A southern boy, and they're both really tall. Very tall.

3:45Ronnie Karam: I'm sure they'll be total douchebags as well. This is below deck. Yep, yep, yep.

3:50Ben Mandelker: I mean, the one thing that may work in their favor is that Joe is such a big douchebag that he may take up all the douchebag air in the room that we just don't even notice how big of a douchebag those two are.

3:59Ronnie Karam: yeah but um i have missed joe's whisper voice though i mean i know it hasn't been long but i love his but how could nathan do this to me i'm just the eyebrows that whisper the whispering eyebrows i've been doing nothing but working on my career ever since the last season and i just really focus on is that i just want to be the best i want to be a captain someday i'm like oh shush you don't get an award for finally deciding to do your job for three weeks what is i've been working on myself since last season. The last season was five minutes ago. What are you at home tying knots in your sleep? Yeah, seriously.

4:34We're about two meters away. We're about two meters away. Joel, eat your cereal. If I were a person, I would tie a knot to the left instead of the right. He's just eating his cereal. We're about one and a half meters away. We're about 1.25 meters away. I would have been a tutu. Wrong job. He's being an underminer. I was choo-chooing. Choo-choo. Wrong job.

4:57Ronnie Karam: So he's back. Yeah, but Captain Sandy, here we go. And you know, Captain Jason, God bless his heart, he ran into one thing, I think, 10 years ago or something, and they showed a news clip of it, and we've never let that go. And then Captain Sandy ran into something today for the first time ever.

5:13Ben Mandelker: It's because people were partying instead of taking naps. Couldn't hear. Couldn't hear what was going on in Boom Crash.

5:19Ronnie Karam: Yeah, that's true. These people are above the noise ordinance. They're a little too loud in Dubrovnik. Yeah, last night was the Knicks game here in New York, and I'm staying in Times Square, and they had a screening in Bryant Park. So there was like thousands of people right down the street. Wow, you guys love your sports.

5:39Ben Mandelker: Yeah, I was really upset about that game, I have to say.

5:43Ronnie Karam: They didn't win?

5:44Ben Mandelker: They did not win.

5:45Ronnie Karam: Oh, you would never know it from all the screaming and yelling. Didn't sound like they were dying. I did take an Ambien, though, because I was like, I can't take any of that.

5:52Ben Mandelker: I have to drown this out. Well, maybe the next game we can have no distractions of any political figures at the game, and that would help a lot. That's all I'm going to say about that. Why?

6:01Ronnie Karam: Oh, you think Donald Trump made them lose? Sure, why not? Wouldn't that make you win? I mean, I'm sure they all love their Trumpy over there.

6:08Ben Mandelker: Do you think the basketball players love their Trump?

6:11Ronnie Karam: I don't know. I mean, I don't know how it works. I don't know what people like. I just figure if you like sports, we're so different that you probably like different people politically than me, too. Like, I just don't understand how people get this upset over balls being thrown. They'd like go crazy, crazy.

6:25Ben Mandelker: Well, I think regardless of where they are on the political spectrum and who anyone votes for, I think it's I think it probably is a major distraction to have the president of the United States and the mayor to both at your game. Just like let's just like focus on their famous.

6:38Ronnie Karam: They have people in the audience all the time. Look at Madison Square Garden. It's always like Jack Nicholson with whoever, you know. Yeah, that's all I know.

6:47Ben Mandelker: I'm like, I just want a whole bunch of tame gays in the audience. is that way the Knicks can just focus on winning and we can all sit there and be quiet and be like, wow, oh, that was a good shot. Okay, sorry, I didn't want to get too loud.

6:58Ronnie Karam: I just had like a really straight night because I did, the show I saw last night was six on Broadway, which is good. It was all women, you know, being Henry VIII's wives or whatever singing, but that was like all like a bunch of straight tourists and stuff. It wasn't like going to see Jellicle Ball or something. Like it was on the straighter end for Broadway. And then I went home and watched Love Island, which is nothing straighter than that. looking in each other's faces while the straight people were outside screaming and i was like is this pride meant what have i done to myself yeah it's rough it's a hard time i don't think there's anything wrong with that i just felt like you know do you think if henry the eighth realized

7:35Ben Mandelker: that there would have been do you think if henry the eighth realized he was there was gonna be a musical about his life and you know a few hundred years later that he would have maybe found a way to have two more wives that way it could just be called eight and it would make like more thematic makes sense because he is Henry VIII and there were eight wives. I feel like he didn't think that through. He could have found two more wives.

7:52Ronnie Karam: Oh, he doesn't want to compete with his own number. No? I think he would.

8:01Ronnie Karam: They didn't even put him in there. It was just all about the women, which I liked. Good. Take that, Henry VIII. Take that. You douche. Well, anyway. So here we go. Below Deck Med, season 11, episode one. King's crash landing. Ooh, get hit. Game of Thrones.

8:16Ben Mandelker: Yes. Dubrovnik. So everyone is like, they're heading to Dubrovnik and they're all recording little videos on their phones and be like, oh, we're going to Dubrovnik. And everyone's excited and it's like, oh my God, here we go. It's like the opening number of a Broadway show itself. Like, we're coming, we're coming, we're coming to the big city. Dubrovnik. So she went to

8:41Ronnie Karam: Dubrovnik on TWA. And we see Gail and Nathan and Gail's doing that thing. You know, when you just have a baby when you've just had your baby you know like me and um all you do is talk to your even if you're talking to someone at the store you're still talking to them like the baby she's doing that which i really like she's like oh we're almost late for the flight but who's not in the business of missing flights oh swing out in the business of missing flights

9:08Ben Mandelker: i gotta get to the goddamn flight i always see cat in nova scotia and she's like hey chat follow me on my journey. I'm super, super, super excited. Let's go. Which is, I guess. Who's following those people that do that? He's like, I got to figure out what a lady in Nova Scotia is doing.

9:28Ronnie Karam: What are travel plans? Who's following these random? I mean, I guess that is the modern world, right? People just following randos somewhere. It's like, guess what? I'm going to the store. Oh my God. Hold on, honey. Can we leave for dinner in about 20 minutes? I got to see this girl go to the store. It's very important.

9:43Ben Mandelker: There is an influencer who lives in the Arctic Circle in a territory of Norway who just puts her life up on YouTube. It's like, here I am and I am making pancakes and it is 8 p.m. and the sun is still in the sky, whatever, and has millions of views. Millions and millions and millions of views. But that's because she's in the extreme north.

10:06Ronnie Karam: Really? You think people are like, well, I want to watch somebody today. only in the extreme north though.

10:12Ben Mandelker: Because it's like, how does she live? Whereas someone living in Nova Scotia, I'm like, alright, I get it.

10:18Ronnie Karam: Really? Do you think people just look at me and are like, oh my god, how does he live? Like, how does he even walk upright, this fucking idiot? There probably are some people who are like that. I'll facilitate myself. I think as long as you make yourself fascinating. I've got a string on my pants. Okay, so you see, that could have been it. That could have been my TikTok. That could have been a 500 ,000 view. oh yeah it'd have been like guys round phrase differently than other things how do i fix this string on my knee it could be an ongoing arc yeah it's day three the string is still there

10:49Ben Mandelker: i still haven't taken the steps i need to get rid of that string by the way you know what i got today this has nothing to do with this but this would be part of my video i bought some kinder

11:00Ronnie Karam: buenos obsessed yeah i've been talking about those every day i'm glad you got well i got some in case you want some hell yeah i want some after hearing so much about it i wake up like kinder kinder kinder kinder i'll give you some afterwards uh so we see someone in cooper in charleston unfortunately it's not the cooper we all know from charleston the gay from southern charm way back in the day the og gang yeah who had a big party a big ball um like the cooper ball but he would only allow men to come if they were escorted by a lady yeah because that's how we do here in the south.

11:33Ben Mandelker: Let's say Cooper in Charleston. I just want to also say, in general, you never have to say in Charleston if you mention the name Cooper. If your name is Cooper, we know you're in Charleston. It's just automatically there. Unless you're Minnie, because those are everywhere. Unless you're Marissa, then we know you're in Newport Beach. It's Marissa. Marissa Cooper. DLC. DLC. Whoops.

11:58Ronnie Karam: Pop culture failed. all so um cooper is like i got this charger i hear you need those in europe

12:10Ben Mandelker: as opposed to all the solar panel cell phones here in the states yeah i really like i really

12:17Ronnie Karam: like cooper i mean really because he's cute so but also because he's just one of those people like i don't like when people when you look at them and they look different than they are like Like if someone looks really mean and then it turns out they're really sweet. And then you're like, well, that was tricky. Those poor persons walking around with this horrible like mean face and they're really nice. Or when it's the other way around. Cooper just looks dumb. Like Cooper is like the kind of guy you're not going to walk up and ask Cooper like directions. You know, you know what you're getting.

12:46Ben Mandelker: Yeah. He definitely like he's had a lot of concussions. And I think it's we're seeing it, you know.

12:54Ronnie Karam: Yeah. You're seeing it in real time.

12:56Ben Mandelker: In real time.

12:57Ronnie Karam: Yeah, you're singing Flamed Brain, for sure. But super cute. He seems like a very... I hope he makes himself feel better by taking his shirt off a lot. He should. I hope they keep the temperature hot in that room. It's time for a commercial. It's time for a Crappens commercial.

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13:24Ronnie Karam: It's called Age Bin, okay? It's age.

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16:17Ronnie Karam: so now we see genevieve which one is this now just to warn people who are new to this show um hi uh we don't really remember anybody's names or where they're from or what they even look like probably till six weeks in yeah it's a lot it's a lot to shove all these below deck people down

16:34Ben Mandelker: our faces now which one is this genevieve is one of my early favorites just because i can tell she is neurotic uh she is the one who is uh she's an only child from new york city whose parents are very successful and she wants to be even more successful by becoming a purser and she does not

16:49Ronnie Karam: like being told what to do especially in the realm of she's my favorite so far because she's clearly crazy she's crazy and she's got a lot of issues she's a bitch and i cracked up when she said uh my parents are very successful i grew up in new york city and my parents are just riding the city And that's why I'm going to be more successful than them as the person who orders supplies on the bus. Wow, how far does Purser go? I'm not shaming the Purser job. I just mean like in all the jobs in New York City, how are you going to outjob those people with your Purser job?

17:20Ben Mandelker: I know. I mean, like, you know, I respect that Purser is the top of that career path. But there is something funny about saying, I'm going to be more successful than my parents who are professionals in New York City because I will be making beds for some random ladies with heart-shaped cutouts on their butts. Watch out, mom.

17:40Ronnie Karam: Puff, puff. Tooping the pillow.

17:43Ben Mandelker: I've made it. Now, ladies, if you're looking for your cutout and assless dresses, they're in the closet.

17:49Ronnie Karam: Girl, at least let me see you make a towel into a swan. So she's like, I travel all the time. But it doesn't make it any easier because I still feel like a chicken with its eyes cut off. Then Kaylee in Budva.

18:04Ben Mandelker: Montenegro. She's a blonde. She is. She's like, I think she's the, yes, you're right. She has to be because it's kind of annoying.

18:13Ronnie Karam: Kaylee, she drops her suitcase down the stairs. And on below deck, they're like, if you're a blonde, we need to open with a shot of you dropping your suitcase down.

18:20Ben Mandelker: That's just a roll on below deck. Yes. And then we have the chef, Joy. She's in Cannes and she's like, I am on my way to Croatia. And I love that her name is Joy because you know that she's not going to be full of it. This is going to be her only happy episode. Yes.

18:33Ronnie Karam: Now that I love. A descriptive name that's a lie.

18:36Ben Mandelker: Yeah. Yeah. She has Stephanie Izzard here or not from this week's top. Did you watch Top Chef by the way? No, I forgot.

18:44Ronnie Karam: Love Island is really just taking my whole life. I watched so much Love Island. Is it over? Top Chef. That's not the finale. You know what? if i find out who won before i watch it because those goddamn straight people won't stop licking each other on my tv i'm gonna be pissed i i watched it i watched it this morning do not tell i won't i will oh you can tell me no no no i mean we're doing a bonus later no no i'm not going to

19:05Ben Mandelker: but i watched it this morning but then as a result i still have like 10 minutes left of love island so but i figure it's like they just sold them yeah there's some bombshells come yeah yeah did see that yeah so that's new people make out people slumber party yeah right i missed most of that too

19:22Ronnie Karam: because it was just i know i watched i just started swiping and then i i like came down from my phone

19:29Ben Mandelker: and they were still just slicking each other's faces yeah yesterday was my love island binge day and i was like i love love island and i love love but i'm like this is a lot yeah love island you

19:39Ronnie Karam: really have to keep up with that from the first episode and you have to watch it every day or

19:42Ben Mandelker: you're screwed but like now i'm caught up and i will be doing it every day and i feel great about it okay so speaking of love island uh here comes asia i'm about to become croatia

19:58Ronnie Karam: then we see luke in cape town and uh this is the other hot guy oh the other i think he's even hotter yeah yeah and um he's got the whole row to himself so he's psyched and then uh we go to gail and nathan and their little baby at their rental in dubrovnik yeah and they're they're

20:17Ben Mandelker: pulling up to their rental and this was the same rental we saw at the end of last season so we actually have like a weird overlap because what we're seeing now actually happened before the end of last season because i don't know if you remember but the epilogue on last season below deck met is that we came to the same rental and they were there and then captain sandy's like well we'd love to have you back it's like sorry gail i'll have to go to meet captain sandy so he like leaves to go on the charter but here they haven't even gotten to the rental yet so like this is the first time i think we've ever seen a below deck season premiere before the last season ended always had to give a little button for the last season yeah it's like when you find out that those parts of Canada that are further south than parts of America, North America, you know, USA.

21:03Ben Mandelker: Okay, anyway, relatable context. It's like that.

21:06Ronnie Karam: So, Gail, except I don't know geography at all. You could tell me Dubrovnik was down the street. Yeah, makes sense. Well, I have no idea. So, Gail is like, we're going to get so much vomit on that couch, aren't we? And so Nathan tells us that after the last season, him and Gail decided to give it another chance. So, you know, He wants to show her that he loves her, and he made a mistake, guys, but he's grown up a little bit. Now, how? I don't know. Because last I saw, he was on this show. He dumped Gail, made her cry, dumped her for no reason really, and ghosted her. Didn't only dump her, ghosted her.

21:43Ronnie Karam: Goes on a boat, then him and Joe are kind of banging everybody they can. And then he, Kizzy liked Joe, well, Kizzy liked everybody, but Kizzy was trying to get with Joe. And then Kizzy, that didn't work out with Joe because he was with that girl whose boyfriend had passed away. And then so Nathan tried to get with Kizzy. But then the second she actually didn't sleep with him, then he was like, oh, I miss Gail. So that's how I remember it. I don't remember where the growing up part is. Not sure. But now he's proving that he's a really good person by getting on Joe for being a womanizer. Yeah. To make us think that he wasn't a womanizer.

22:19You were the same. Yeah.

22:21Ronnie Karam: And you are the same. I don't believe you. That's a long way of saying, I don't believe you.

22:26Ben Mandelker: Yeah, I agree. I mean, I do think that Joe is the worst of the two of them in terms of womanizing. But you know what? The other thing with Nathan is that he is going for a new haircut this season. I approve. I feel like it's going in the right direction.

22:41Ronnie Karam: I'm the biggest haircut shamer because I'm bald and I'm projecting.

22:44Ben Mandelker: Yeah. Well, be careful whose hairstyles you make fun of. Oh, yeah. Yeah, you got to be careful. People can be very sensitive about it. but that being said uh nathan's hair um i think it's going in the right direction but i'm a hair shamer that's the point i well i just i think i appreciate where he's where he's going i think we still need some work um i think you know it is it's like he's he's got like corners and i would love to see what i would love for nathan's hair would be for him to embrace the round shape of his head instead of trying to give himself corners in the back so it's not a shaming it's just a um i think we can still do even better it's an aspirational like let's let's let's bring it up

23:22Ronnie Karam: you're going the right direction right i'm not shaming because i asked for a haircut for years and i feel like this was a gift to me so i just love when someone takes a note we love when someone takes a note we love it we love it as someone without hair it's really hard to see people squander what they have you know the rest of the bald of us are out here like come on man you have

23:43Ben Mandelker: all this opportunity yeah yeah he just needs to i think we're gonna work on it um now we go to Sandy and she's like Dubrovnik is one of the most beautiful places I've been in Croatia okay Dubrovnik has a huge extensive coastline diverse anchorages and the old town dates back to the 13th century and they filmed a ton of Game of Thrones here so you know how they say winter is coming well for me hold on everyone get ready charter season is coming god did you watch Game of Thrones because winter is coming is not a good thing winter is coming means like we're all about to die yeah Also, every time boats came to King's Crossing, something terrible happened.

24:23Ben Mandelker: Something horrible. Like, when the boats arrive, things explode, okay? It's never good. It's not good.

24:32Ronnie Karam: So Aisha comes on and, you know, runs to Sandy like they haven't seen each other in 50 years, you know?

24:42Ronnie Karam: Jumps in her arms. And we see that they were, like, actually vacationing together. Like the day prior. Yes. And we see them like jumping into the ocean together and going down a water slide together, skiing somewhere together, paragliding together, you know, riding a camel together.

25:00Ben Mandelker: Yeah, they're doing the amazing pyramids. They just wanted to see where all the cool places are. And Asia's like, I may be engaged. Scott and I are getting married after this charter season. But Sandy's my work wife and the marriage is going really strong.

25:15Ronnie Karam: yeah um and then um she looks over the cvs of all the stews and stuff she's she's very excited

25:22Ben Mandelker: that she has a third stew it's not just a team of three it's a team of four she's

25:29Ronnie Karam: and she is thrilled yeah so you've got genevieve kaylee smith and what yep there's four guys so she's going crazy and she's like, I genuinely feel the same feeling as when Skopra boom.

25:47Ben Mandelker: Oh, God, don't say that. No, you're going to stick your finger up your butt again.

25:52Ronnie Karam: So now, Aisha goes through the boat and she's like, oh my God, it's Earth-toned. I love Earth-toned. It reminds me of the Earth. Beesh.

26:06Ben Mandelker: And then Nathan comes in. He's like, hey, Captain. and she's like, oh, hey, great to see you. So when do I get to meet the baby? Okay, because, or here's a little onesie I made. It's a uniform for the baby. I know you think it's just like a gag gift, but I actually expect the baby to be showing up tomorrow for work to clean that teak.

26:27Ronnie Karam: I will never love anybody more than Asha just because she says things like, I love beige with such conviction. So now Aisha's looking over the cabins and they are tiny. And she's like, is this a cabin for us? And then we go to Sandy and Nathan and they're still talking about this baby, you know. And then Nathan's like, oh, this was our first time apart. It was so emotional. She's like, well, I'm real happy you're back on board. You're going to love your deckhounds. Great experience. And I got one you're going to be super happy about. Let me give you a hint. he's got little caterpillars on his face and they're adorable everybody rhymes with ho

27:11Ben Mandelker: can't tell if he's smiling or if he's frowning he's like that one emoji that's embarrassed it's Joe

27:18Ronnie Karam: he's like ah Jesus Christ this is going to be interesting what's wrong you don't like him anymore come on well we really haven't talked

27:26Ben Mandelker: oh but you were bromancing all the time remember that fun times right and we see flashbacks when they uh better times warmer times when they were cavorting together all the time but now nathan's like saw the bromance and stuff it stopped you know coming to the end of last season the way

27:42Ronnie Karam: he was treating women was forked that was the same way you've been treating him for years i mean look i get what you're saying that joe is worse than nathan but could we also just consider it more successful than nathan because i think part of this is jealousy i don't know i think

27:59Ben Mandelker: that like i think nathan was definitely dicking around but like ultimate i think i feel like ultimately nathan was dicking around whereas joe was actually making promises yeah joe and he was selling he was selling stories and fantasies in a way that was more harmful than dicking around

28:17Ronnie Karam: not like the dicking around was great you know yeah i think no you're right joe is joe is definitely a lot worse because then he was telling that girl like oh i'm all in with you yeah and i know your boyfriend's you know death anniversary is coming up or whatever that whole thing was he's like but it's just me and you me and you and then she's like are you sure because like it's like a really big deal it's like i'm sure and then immediately he had a chance with kizzy yeah like i never said anything i don't know why she's acting like i'm so in love with her yeah and we've been doing it

28:48Ben Mandelker: this season like i'm gonna go to have fun so he is just you know and he like and that was just so obnoxious and so awful so you know i'm still gonna given that they're both bad i'm still gonna give it i don't know nathan made gail cry so yeah that's a sorry he's never he's gonna take a lot it's gonna take a lot for me to go right okay i have a lot of balls up i have a lot of balls up a lot to open up have you thought about this affects me right a haircut does not fix everything but it is a nice baby step it's just like really hard because like she pulled him for a chat um so now nathan is upset he's like fucking joel brodler man oh god and then sandy's like what happened with him and joel jeez by the way what do you think the odds are that they're gonna have v come in after someone gets fired then all of a sudden like we've got a new deckhand it's v no i don't

29:44Ronnie Karam: I hope not. It seems like this new crew, and not that I didn't like her, but I just don't like going back. And Below Deck gives us so many new cast members that even having these two on the same one, I'm like, ugh. Although it is very promising watching them hate each other so far, even in the first episode. But for the most part, I like that they keep changing it.

30:06Ben Mandelker: Well, now Joy comes on board and Joy's like, I thought when I was 14 years old as dishwasher at New York Therrand. But I didn't know I would become exclusive private chef. I cooked for Paul McCartney, Leonardo DiCaprio, Rihanna. I mean, these are people. But I don't remember. I don't know. Whatever. I cook for a lot of wealthy people. But people told me I'm very intense. And I always say what I'm feeling. And it put me in trouble a couple of times. He he. And she has this big smile on her face. She's basically saying, yeah, I'm going to be psycho. Just wait.

30:36Ronnie Karam: Yeah. She's like, I get in trouble for telling people off. And it's fun. And then she opens her fridge and she's like, oh, I can put my crew members inside the wheel. Like, yeah, it's already threatening to murder people. It's my kind of girl. So Joy meets her and she's like, well, it turns out there's a cabin where there's only one person, so you get that. All right, you've got the hardest job. It's like, oh, really? It's nice. I do not trust it.

31:04Ben Mandelker: So now Joy is like, oh, my galley, what a mess, what a mess. And now it's just actually one of the cleanest galleys we've seen. I know, right? It's small, though. It is small. It's got one of those little Ikea temporary islands in the middle of it. Oh, did it? That's what it looked like to me. I know it wasn't temporary, but it felt like that. I used to have one of those things. It has a temporary energy. Temp energy. Nice, non-permanent kitchen island energy. Temp.

31:32Ronnie Karam: So Asha is in the laundry room, and Nathan comes in and scares her, and they hug. I'm like, oh, how's being a dad? Oh, is this your baby? I love beige

31:43Ben Mandelker: he's like that's actually the best thing ever honestly it's the best thing ever you were born to be a dad honestly he's like yeah I can fucking barely look after myself how am I gonna manage a fucking baby

31:54Ronnie Karam: yeah and the gal and the gal the gal and the baby are staying close now they're looking over CVs and he's like oh god you're Bradley are you on okay terms like well he texted me a few times but I just haven't even texted him back well i was aware that joe and nathan weren't heading in the right direction but i don't want how to feel with my relationship with both of them nathan's like a little brother to me whereas joe's that crazy uncle that oh it's always funny when he shows up at christmas that you know he's gonna put his foot in his mouth somehow and you're gonna have to deal with the repercussions i'm like that i hate those people well first of all that's me so i was taking this very personally you're not Like, excuse me, how dare you?

32:38Ronnie Karam: You're the fun uncle. Well, I'm the uncle that comes over on the holidays, and you're like, all right, take the bottle. Someone hide the bottle, because he's going to blow. He's going to blow. Commercials. Here comes one right now.

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34:55Ben Mandelker: so now here comes cooper he's like i'm coop nice to meet you and nathan there i was oh nice to meet you where are you from he's like south carolina he's like well i was like i don't think you're gonna fit in that bad he's like usually i'll sleep diagonal um he's like god you're fucking tall mate they're so jesus how are you even gonna sleep here they literally cannot fit in the frame on the camera. He's like, but you've been on a lot of boats, right? And he's like, I've been doing this for about a month, so I'm greener than a green bean. That being said, I might not have much knowledge, but I'm tall.

35:31Ben Mandelker: I've got strength and I've got work ethic. I'm like, why does he sound like he's signing up to go on a quest somewhere? Well, I sure would like to come along. My firm arm burned down. I got nothing left to offer but strength, strength and willpower. okay you can come with us i was playing football for six years we know we can tell we see it you have football face there's yeah there's a there's like football impression just baked into your your chica yeah there's no hot like tall guy in the south that didn't like we know yeah yeah he's like i've been in knitting club for the past six years yeah Shock me.

36:14Yeah. You know, I was in Gleet Club, something. Yeah, we know.

36:18Ronnie Karam: It was his dream to make it to the NFL, but, and he was ranked 14th tight end in the nation. Well, on this boat, you are ranked number one tight end. I'll say that. And I'm, I'm, I'm the coalition of sports. The tightest end. I'm the federation of leagues. You bring the brains, I'll bring the muscles,

36:38Ben Mandelker: we'll get it done. So Nathan's like, shoot, I'm Irish. There's not many brains here. He's like, I don't get it. Okay. But see, I love a self-aware man.

36:47Ronnie Karam: You bring the brains.

36:49Ben Mandelker: Yeah. Perfect. Starting a commotion.

36:51Ronnie Karam: Yes. So Kaylee comes on and Nathan and Joy are talking meanwhile. And Nathan's like, are you nervous? She's like, no. He's like, you're not nervous. She goes, I've been to hell before.

37:04Ben Mandelker: She's like, I cooked for Leonardo DiCaprio. Do you know how hard it is to be a woman above 23 on a boat with Leonardo DiCaprio? He just doesn't even look at you. He wouldn't eat the steak I gave him because it was aged.

37:18Ben Mandelker: So now we have this moment of Sandy in her new chair and she's trying to use it and she's like adjusting everything. It's like, oh.

37:27Ronnie Karam: Oh, God. Her ankles are above her head. Whoa, whoa, whoa. That's too much. All right. All right. Coming. Oh, geez. Oh, wow.

37:37Ben Mandelker: Spinning around. She's like on the voice.

37:41Ronnie Karam: um so now we meet kaylee um and she where's she from i think she's australian okay she's like i often get told to need to calm down because i get too excited and it's like ah and i could never do cocaine because i would literally explode

38:00Ben Mandelker: yes you know the top of kaylee would be gone that is me in the third person which would like which end would come out we don't know the better we never know is you know sometimes that works my fiver, but sometimes it doesn't. But in a work environment, I can work really hard. Like, you know, like Energizer Bunny from the battery commercials. Yes, we know the Energizer Bunny from the battery commercials. We don't need further context.

38:19Ronnie Karam: It's like, oh, sorry, I kicked something. I just got installed. So now Luke comes and introduces himself, and he goes to Joy, the chef. She's like, hello. And he's like, hi, where are you from? She's like, I'm French.

38:36Ben Mandelker: Enchanté. He goes, salut. and he goes wow 2S Trey Bell and she's like stop it

38:46Ronnie Karam: so now Nathan meets him and he's like oh my god you're fucking tall too

38:54Ben Mandelker: and then Luke meets Cooper and Luke is like damn he's like you're a unit he's like two big ass guys still trying to figure out that Irish joke about the brains though makes sense to you

39:06Ronnie Karam: so Genevieve and Kat arrive and meet each other and Genevieve is like yeah I've been yachting since I was 18 I've worked on 35 meters to 127 meters I've been a service to I've always been a chief suit on smaller boats but like I'm basically pretty big my mom looks fucking poor right now

39:25Ben Mandelker: and then Kat is Kat I feel like is a little generic right now we don't know anything we don't like have an angle in on her so far but she's like I've done about 7 months of yachting so far I've been a true super yacht in Monaco, and I'm also sailboats as well, and only in this short amount of time. So, wait, which one is Kat? Kat, that's what I'm saying. Like, she hasn't really popped yet. She's, like, the one that's not the perky one, and she's not the New York one. Okay.

39:54Ronnie Karam: Yeah, she's the one like, oh, my God, everybody's fighting. Yeah, she's that one. Okay. So then Genevieve, then, you know, we're getting the difference between them. like one's chill and one's really not chill at all. So we come back to Genevieve and she's like, yeah, I've worked for some of the most famous and wealthiest people, the Kardashians, Bad Bunny, athletes, I've served everybody. And we go back to Kat and she's like, yeah, the last bit I had, I had like frat boys and I was sleeping and I left the hatch open because it was hot. And then I woke up at 4 a.m. and I was like, oh my God, it's raining in the boat.

40:26Ronnie Karam: And then I look up and I'm like, oh, it's not raining. A frat boy is peeing on me. So.

40:32Ben Mandelker: so uh cat's big contribution to the episode so far is that she got peed on

40:40Ben Mandelker: opp other people's pee um so now they all meet and they talk they're like wow luke whoa it's huge so now asia grabs gathers the stews together and she's like oh do you guys just want something by your experience and they're like i was a soul stew i was a soul stew i was a soul stew and jennifer says yeah i'm as i was a soul stew um and i moved up to chief stew on a 37 meter second mom and i moved to a service stew on 127 meter and i do love service as every stew

41:09Ronnie Karam: loves service right yeah and kat's new to the industry okay but she was also a soul stew so she's done a lot guys and she's like oh my god i've been so blessed what the hell you know look I'll have Jen as my night girl, Kayleen mid-shift, and me and Kat in the mornings. Now, for now, you're all one bar stewies. All right, and as time goes on, I'll delegate second stew. And Genevieve is like,

41:36Ben Mandelker: she gives this look like, really? Hmm. She's not happy. Now her parents are like, wow, who's successful now? One bar stew and his daughter. Now excuse us while we get back to our high-functioning law firms and psychoanalysts.

41:52Ronnie Karam: As lawyers, we would like to point out that both our bars combined are two bars.

41:57Ben Mandelker: So fun with your one bar kid. It's like, hi, we are Genevieve's parents. We're Mr. and Mrs. Wall, as in Wall Street. We invented it. They're very successful.

42:08Ronnie Karam: Her dad's the bull.

42:12So, yeah.

42:13Ronnie Karam: So Genevieve's really upset, but I like when they do this. They're like, let's see who literally earns their stripes. because I don't like that the most confident best pitcher wins, you know? Like the person comes in there, oh my God, I've done everything. I know Leonardo DiCaprio. So they should automatically win. I like that it's based on, you know, merit.

42:32Ben Mandelker: I feel like I'd like that. But then what I think happens is that if they're all the same level, it creates like a cutthroat infighting that we even see in this episode as opposed to like having a clearer hierarchy. So I think what would be better would be like, these are the temp stripes but um after one charter i'm going to reevaluate to see if this

42:53Ronnie Karam: was the correct decision so you'd be okay if there was like a time limit that was given like a like a

42:58Ben Mandelker: like a check-in because i mean yeah because i feel like it's it's not always great when everyone is this starts off as like the same tier because you do see like it gets it gets nasty okay utopia

43:11Ronnie Karam: denied.

43:13Ben Mandelker: I want a hierarchy. I don't want a meritocracy. I mean, I do want a meritocracy.

43:18Ronnie Karam: I want a better room than you. Period.

43:22Ben Mandelker: Listen, if someone has been doing it for three years. Okay, we do not all get the same rooms. This is a cheerocracy. Okay.

43:33Ben Mandelker: But either way, but at the same time, for entertainment value, great, because it's wonderful watching someone like Genevieve spiral by being, like, with the hoi polloi of her other shoes.

43:44Ronnie Karam: Yeah, so Nathan gives Gail a call. And it's like, how's your first day? How's the crew? You want me to mush up your favorite? He's like, you're talking to me, not the baby. I can't help it. He's like, well, he's like, well, guess what? I've got Joe. Dun, dun, dun. And he's like, I've got no plan of attack yet, though. To be honest, well, I've got to go. I love you. Bye-bye. Bye, baby. so joe comes and nathan sees him and he's like oh you fucking dick yeah well because joe's also

44:14Ben Mandelker: like showing up in like white slacks and like a black like sleeveless t-shirt that looks so cheesy i mean like why are you it's just well sorry for working out i appreciate his arms but like you know that this outfit's ridiculous so uh nathan's pretty much trying to avoid him meanwhile joe comes in and says hi to Asia, then says hi to Sandy. And then he's like, hey, what have you been up to aside from working out those guns you got there? He's like, oh, bosun, tender driver, captain, day charterers on an 18 meter boat as a captain. You know, take some bubble baths, have a little inflatable tugboat in there.

44:50So I think that counts too. So it's been pretty exciting. Yeah. He's like, I've really been focusing. I've been focusing on my career since the last charter. I immediately became bosun day charters mostly

45:03Ronnie Karam: but still I want to work until I can't physically work you were bosun on day charters that's not the same

45:09Ben Mandelker: yeah sorry doing like a little 12 person booze cruise around the bay of something and Sandy's like what happened between you and Nathan give me the tea girl I'm about to go find out go do that bring your best self why are you upside down there right now hold on a second

45:30Ronnie Karam: Okay, okay, say it to my face. Go ahead.

45:32Ben Mandelker: You know, BB recommended that we get a dental chair in here, and I'm not sure that's working out so well.

45:40Ronnie Karam: So Aisha's like, get to work, we got to go. So everybody's working, working, and Joe finally approaches Nation, and he's like, hello, Nathan Gallagher. And he's like, oh, hi. And Joe's like, oh, look at these tall guys. I'm the smallest one again. Great. I think this is great. They brought back Joe and Nathan, Joe, mostly the womanizer, Nathan part time womanizer. But they're like, okay, we're going to bring back Joe, even though he's a huge douchebag, but we're going to give him major competition by giving him people a foot taller than him. Yeah. And I like that. I thought that was a good move on casting's part.

46:13They're like,

46:14Ronnie Karam: let's bring back Joe, but put him in the most insecure position we can.

46:17Ben Mandelker: He's going to spiral. Yeah. Um, so Joe's like long time, no speak. He's like, oh yeah, just got changed so we can put away our personals later we just need to get cracking on it's just like oh fucking christ so now it's like awkward because like nathan was very frosty to him so he's getting ready there and then the deckhands are cleaning the deck and already nathan's like so so i need the girls to kill your fancy boys because we're about five minutes into this experience together i need to know like uh who you want to couple up with who are we fucking who you're pulling for a chat which door do you want to stand in front of and cooper's like Well, it's hard to find one that doesn't, but I think I like the Aussie girl.

46:56You know, that's going to be some competition. I'll tell you that much.

47:00Ben Mandelker: And Luke is like, well, she with such a dashing stallion like Joe on Dick, it's going to be some competition. He's from South Africa, right? He left from Cape Town.

47:09Ronnie Karam: Luke, the other tall guy? I think he's American.

47:12Ben Mandelker: He just was in Cape Town? I think so. Oh, man. I don't know.

47:16Ronnie Karam: I didn't hear him talk that much, but I think he's American. I was just looking at his arms. So everything he was saying was like, whenever there's a new guy on these shows, I'm like, how, how is this guy going to hurt my feelings? That's all I'm concentrating on. So we go to Kat and Genevieve cleaning cabins and they're doing the same thing. Like, are you single? Are you single? Genevieve is single and Kat's single too. She's like, but I don't want to bang the wrong person. It's so funny. I'm just like a goody two shoes.

47:43Ben Mandelker: Genevieve is like dying or sleep. Genevieve's like, so you're not into hookup culture and stuff like that. she's like no i usually like to wait a bit like i just like to gauge is there anything you wouldn't do because no i feel like i've done it already which is why i deserve three stripes bitch

48:00Ronnie Karam: so luke tells us he's 35 years old which is old for a boat but he's only worked in yachting the past 16 months because he had so many different dreams hospitality personal training sea risk sea rescue military training this man doesn't go to work he's this man this man calls i'm sick a lot yeah he's unfocused he

48:22Ben Mandelker: says you know i try to bring all that into how i approach yachting i'm swiss army luke scissors the hacksaw the corkscrew the nail clippers got it all if you need a if you need a navy seal who

48:33Ronnie Karam: can also bring you a bagel and tell you how to do push-ups that's me it's not a bad i'm about to say Yeah, that sounds great. I know. You see, I still like him because it's just episode one. I'm giving him all the best attributes of all those things.

48:47Ben Mandelker: So now Joe is talking to Nathan and Joe's like, well, for your security, I just came off a boat 50 meter has boson and have delegated. I felt your energy upstairs. And I was like, have you have you even heard the messages? And he's like, no, I haven't. I just didn't see the need for it. I felt bad for me last year. It's like, oh, so did I. But I'm not going to say I didn't.

49:07Ronnie Karam: Yeah, but you were the one who made her feel bad. so being like oh I feel bad for her too but you did it so Nathan's like yeah but you did it Nathan says what I said he's like well I like to have fun I'm probably not going to stop so sorry for having fun

49:25Ben Mandelker: well then don't say you feel bad you either genuinely feel bad or you just say you have fun Nathan's like well then that's how you feel about it but I'm not going to waste my time talking about it it was a bunch of bullshit I'm not fucking around this year cool yeah cool yeah great yeah great yeah good yeah good for you yeah good to see you love you yeah yeah

49:47Ronnie Karam: so Nathan's like uh this is not the start I wanted but to see him defend it Joe's a complete asshole and Joe's like yeah sure I didn't handle the situation with Victoria as well as I should but in my defense we only knew each other a couple of weeks okay just because I told her I was all in well then why were you crying so much how'd she get so confused Yeah. Yeah. Why were you sobbing?

50:09Ben Mandelker: Yeah. If it was just a nothing, why were you sobbing? You were sobbing because you knew you were being a piece of shit. You knew it emotionally and then you wanted everyone to feel bad for you. So enough out of you, sir. Now Luke goes over. Yeah. Luke goes over to Joy and starts speaking French. She's like, why do you speak French? He's like, because I believe I'm going to marry a French woman one day. And there's just something about their character and their feitsiness and the no bullshit. I love it. She goes, ugh, this guy. Oh my God. Come on, I survived Leonardo DiCaprio, Charter. You think this is going to work with me?

50:41Ben Mandelker: Let me guess.

50:42Ronnie Karam: You are going to request protein 10 times a day from me. I'm not falling for this. Mon dieu. Congratulations. You've reached the end of part one of a two-part recap. For part two, go look for the recap that says part two.

50:59Ben Mandelker: See you over there, suckers. Watch What Crappens would like to thank its premium sponsors. She answered the call. It's Adia Paul Ain't no thing like Alison King Our way is the Amber way It's the Foster and the Furious It's Amanda Foster It's Always Automatic with Ashley Otto Put your hands together for Carly Clapp Get on the right foot with Chrissy Offord She's not just a Sheila She's a Daniela We never miss her call It's Diane Call Sunday in the Park with Dylan Clark Big Yay, it's Emily Gauthier Erin McNicholas She don't miss no trick-a-less You'll never hide from Heidi Eleanor Jones. I go, you go, we all go for Hugo.

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