#3403 Below Deck Med S11E01 Part Two: Douche Battle

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1:37Ronnie Karam: Well, hello and welcome to Watch What Happens. This is part two of a two-part recap. If you're like, hey, wait a minute, I didn't hear part one. Guys, it's because we put out a lot of recaps. Go back and listen to part one, okay? It's before this one. Bye. Enjoy the show. So Sandy radios everybody for a coptons meeting. And she's like, hey, everyone, really happy you're here. God, you guys look eager. Also amazing that you all fit on this tiny love seat that we have in this salon.

2:11Ben Mandelker: This boat is really small. Gosh.

2:15Ronnie Karam: I look around and I look at all your energy. Look at you just sitting there. God, maintain that energy for the next charter. and the charter after that, the charter after that, and the charter after that. In 70 years, I want to look at you just sitting there smiling the exact same way.

2:31Ben Mandelker: Oh, Sandy, I'm sorry, but we couldn't quite hear you. We could only see the soles of your feet.

2:35Ronnie Karam: Got this chair.

2:40Ronnie Karam: We got each other's back. That's how I roll. Now, we're going to dock. We're going to anchor. We're going to dry run. Then we're all going to get together. What are we going to do? Drop the anchor? Hug. We're going to hug. What are we going to do after we take a hug? Drop the anchor and take a nap. Okay. Then what? Drop the anchor. We're going to nap hug. That's where we take naps while we're hugging.

3:01Ben Mandelker: When do we eat the Branzino? So they all cheer for this pep talk because they're going to do a dry run. And then Sandy's like, the last few charter seasons, we step on a bowl. We don't know the bowl. It's just a mess. And I want seven-star service from day one. so she has the grand idea that before people come on the boat we're going to make sure people know what they're doing I'm like why did it take like 12 years of this show for someone to finally have this idea instead of just like oh welcome to the boat you've never been on a boat before okay great well the next charter starts in three minutes so I don't know learn how to fold a napkin they must have had a cancellation or something

3:38Ronnie Karam: because this time is money you're not just going to pay people to like go float around for nothing yeah they must have had a cancellation or something so she's like, this is a bigger boat than Bravado. So we're going to set two anchors every time. It's more of a challenge for the deck crew. There's more working parts. I trust Nathan. We got this.

3:57Ben Mandelker: Well, she also says the boat. The boat is called Akira 1. And she's like, Akira 1 is an older boat. So you know it's solid. It survived the test of time. I'm like, have you seen an old house?

4:09Ronnie Karam: I don't know. I think they're stronger than the new ones, you know? Like, look at airplanes. we're still riding airplanes from the 1950s and 60s because they hold up better the new ones are like, oh, whoops like they hit a bird and they're explode

4:23Ben Mandelker: I don't know, but I also remember Parcival too and that was an old boat and that one required a bit of assistance, I don't know well, it was an old boat I'm defending the old boats these damn kids come in here with their

4:37Ronnie Karam: mushroom hair, these damn boats

4:39Ben Mandelker: well, that's true, when they did have a new boat there was that one boat where the stabilizers went out they had built in those stabilizers and then remember that boat was a shitty boat remember yes they couldn't keep the stable what

4:51Ronnie Karam: else was wrong with that but that was so much wrong with that that was terrible yeah yeah so now joy is in the galley the chef with the mirror glaze i wish i remembered i wish i remembered what

5:00Ben Mandelker: was my favorite boat like i've there's some boats i do the mirror glaze boat what was annoying about that one was that the galley had like a hallway next to it remember with a window like a bank window and for some reason that drove me nuts me too it made me crazy like the chef needs privacy i think probably the best boat that they've had was the one that we just got off of on down under because that galley was so massive like they've never seen a galley as big as that i don't really

5:28Ronnie Karam: remember the boats that much unless they're very like i remember the modern boat and i remember the sailing boat.

5:33Ben Mandelker: Surely you remember the one yacht that used to be a Japanese merchant boat or something like that. Remember it was like every episode. Well, this boat used to be a Japanese fishing troweler, whatever.

5:46Ronnie Karam: I remember hearing about it, but I don't remember what it looked like. It was

5:50Ben Mandelker: brown, a lot of brown on the inside.

5:52Ronnie Karam: All right. So Genevieve in the cabins and Genevieve was like, I hate beds. Luckily, I'm moving to a point where I never have to do another bed again and yachting. I'm trying to become a purser. So, yeah, fuck beds. Am I right?

6:08Ben Mandelker: Seriously, it's just the worst thing I've ever seen in my entire life.

6:13Ronnie Karam: And then... She tells us what a purser is. So, I didn't know because I just said it was the person who ordered things. That's incorrect. A purser runs HR. They take care of crew contracts. It's the highest you can get on the interior. I wish we could see the purser on these boats. I think that would be a fun character. The HR purser.

6:32Ben Mandelker: hr per serve yeah yeah um so again she's saying did you just say this part i grew up in a new york city in a wealthy neighborhood i went to she goes i went to school with celebrity kids success stories all around my parents were successful and i want to be more successful

6:46Ronnie Karam: with them by running hr on a boat yeah it's like that's the american dream isn't it i was like no the american dream is like winning the lottery and not having to do shit and be rich anyway right

6:55Ben Mandelker: it's like i don't remember this episode of the gilded age where someone like one of the vanderbilt kids were like guess what mummy i will be running hr on a boat i'll be overseeing

7:05Ronnie Karam: conflicts amongst well you never know because there is some gilded age shit that was crazy like one guy invented the alarm clock i think he invented the alarm clock he was like a butler and they're like a clock that makes noise stupid and now look at him i look at him

7:22Ben Mandelker: and that man's name was reginald g alarm clock

7:30Ben Mandelker: His name was Dream Machine.

7:33Ronnie Karam: So now Joy's in the galley and she's like, let not cut my hands today. Let us not cut my hands today. I mean, I like that she sings. I would have preferred. Le poisson, le poisson, voila, le poisson. Now to chop and to serve little fish. First I cut off the heads and I. You know, they removed that song from the live action Little Mermaid. why why would you do that i was so upset i don't see a cute movie otherwise but i was like you removed that's the one that they removed yeah that was stupid i was extremely offended um so then meanwhile there's a lot of controversy over that movie that was just unfounded uncalled for and disgusting but when i saw it i was like why isn't this a controversy that should have been

8:17Ben Mandelker: this is why people should be pissed exactly well um so nathan is uh he's he's agitated he's like primary on the teak and on the teak. And Sam's like, hey, don't yell. You're going to learn your rhythm. Because you know what? You know what's going to get you? The rhythm. It always happens. So that's what today is for, okay? Anchors and rhythm.

8:37Ronnie Karam: You know what happened to Gloria Estefan? No. You know why? The rhythm got her. It got her. It came for her in the night.

8:43Ben Mandelker: But you know what, though? She never yelled. She never yelled. Okay. So now the Stu's and Cooper are in the crew mess. And Cooper's like, oh my god I would love some steak I'm cramping real bad and so they're like yeah wow like I saw you do all that today but you're really flexible it's like I can do a split like really? so he does a split and they're all shocked Connie was delighted for the rest of the night

9:10Ronnie Karam: a lot of people doing splits there's that girl on Love Island who that's her thing she's like I do a split like when you really work your groin every day in the morning like our groin is attached to us, you guys. And it's like so attached to us. And then they just show her, do the splits, and then rub her groin all over the ground, like rhythmically, while everybody gets haired. Sorry, guys. Gorgeous water.

9:35Ben Mandelker: Ronnie is pouring me a delicious glass of Saratoga water. They're not even a sponsor, but they're sponsoring my... Damn it, Ben.

9:43Ronnie Karam: We said the other day they were a sponsor. Now you're admitting that we're liars. I love some nice, cloudy water.

9:49Ben Mandelker: I'm trying to shame them into being a sponsor.

9:50Ronnie Karam: yeah i still have some chai tea latte in here so oh well i love some cloudy did you not learn

9:56Ben Mandelker: anything from love island when you say chai tea it's like saying tt which by the way that's padma's big thing and then charl and then zach from love island said it it's like padma did it first

10:10Ronnie Karam: okay so um let's see cooper does the splits it was hot asia and joy are in the galley and she's He's like, oh, my God, look at you. So organized. So what made you decide to be a chef? And she's like, I was in Miami working as bartender. I met a gentleman. We fell in love. And he said, you should be private chef. And that was the beginning of the story. Oh, my God, what happened to him? He made mistakes. I didn't forgive. I cook him. I cook the man.

10:43Ronnie Karam: He's gone. I love her. He's like, you made a mistake.

10:47Ben Mandelker: I didn't forgive. You did. Well, because you know, he was like, you should be a private chef. So that way, you should go to culinary school. And that way, he could bang someone else. So Joy is... Is that a thing?

10:59Ronnie Karam: A lot of work. I just made it a thing. Yeah, most of the guys on this show don't put that much effort in. They just bang somebody else anyway.

11:06Ben Mandelker: So Joy is like, right now, I'm focused on my career. I need to have someone that supports me and bring me peace. Not someone that can put his kiki somewhere else. Okay. So then it's just like, great day, everyone go to sleep. And Sandy's like, okay, deckhands, get ready to dock the boat. This is the big practice and we're not going to mess up whatsoever. Try run. Try run. Try run.

11:32Ronnie Karam: So Genevieve, Kat, and Kaylee are in the crew mess and Genevieve's like, oh my God, who's on lights with me for the deck team? It's going to be Luke. She's like, love that. Oh my God, that's going to be so funny. So tall. He's so sexy. He's older. I like older men.

11:46Ben Mandelker: and then Kaylee's like I reckon Cooper is the guy that you take home to mom he just seems so innocent and Joe he just seems like trouble like he's like fucking trouble am I right did you hear the one about the endergy as a bunny it's in the battery commercials so then outside they're coming in to dock but there's these two party boats and they're making so much noise I mean you've never heard the macarena this loud yeah they

12:08Ronnie Karam: are partying on these boats and Nathan's like Captain Sandy what's that noise The fuck do you think it is? She's like, oh, you're talking about wind?

12:17Ben Mandelker: New season just started. Look out the window. I know.

12:21Ronnie Karam: She's like, oh, we're going next to the party boats. They are definitely breaking the noise ordinance. Wait a second.

12:26Ben Mandelker: They're singing a song about a concept I never even heard. We can do that? Electric slides. Okay, we're getting that on our boat.

12:32Ronnie Karam: What, is Hannah back having a drug den party over there?

12:39Ronnie Karam: By the way, did you see Hannah in the preview? Oh, these kids and the new fangled boats. I didn't know if she was back on here. She's back. She's back. It's time for a commercial. It's time for a Crappens commercial.

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15:54Ben Mandelker: So they're trying to dock this boat, but no one can hear anything over the sound of love shack. She's like, what was that? Do I need to pull back? Do I need to pull forward? Which way do I go? Am I doing the macaroni or am I parking the boat? What am I supposed to do?

16:08Ronnie Karam: How am I supposed to know what I'm doing? All the orders are turn the beat around. Oh, geez. Captain, stop rotating your chair. It's like, I can't help it.

16:20Ben Mandelker: Captain's the ending, we're going to need you to stop doing a one dance up there. I don't know. The rhythm got me again. I can't help it.

16:28Ronnie Karam: Oh, Gloria, there you are. Let me out of here.

16:32Ben Mandelker: So she crashes.

16:34Ronnie Karam: They crash. Yeah, so basically she's like, can you see? I can't see. Can you see? I can't see. Can you hear me? It told me it was still me. Just boom.

16:42Ben Mandelker: Yeah, there's a big crash. And she's actually pretty chill about it. Nathan starts losing his mind. He's like, I'm going to get fired. And then I can't provide for my family. And then my family's not here. And my heart is beating onto my chest. just like wow i can't believe what just happened if their structural damage our char seasons over before it even got started and to think it all happened while i was upside down in that damn

17:04Ronnie Karam: so she comes to inspect the damage and it's cracked all up along the um what do you call it the dock it's like the thing it's like yeah the the the entryway the foyer you will the pastor it wasn't the past. Have we been recapping this for 14 years? Are we still not a boy parts of the

17:25Ben Mandelker: but the but the boats but it's the but it's the but the best guy has got a crack like

17:30Ronnie Karam: every chap, but it's got like a chaplet. Yeah. So she go fuck we damaged it. I don't believe it. He's like, I'm sorry. I don't even know what happened. It's like just become see if there's damage on the inside. And Joe's like, I don't want to sound like a not head to live But if I were down on the stern, here we go. If I were Chief Stu. The boat wouldn't even be within two meters of hitting the dock. As a bosun, you've got to understand that there's a loud environment. You've got to pre-plan this. If she's on the port side wing station, set up two people on port side to say two meters, two meters, two meters.

18:03Ronnie Karam: Like a channel of communication. But that's just me. Well, A, you're right. But B, you were also here. You know, weren't you doing anything?

18:13Ben Mandelker: Yeah, exactly. He's such an underminer. He always has to fail. Yeah. So then Sandy's like, well, obviously this sucks. But I think, you know, because I've been through so much of my life, you know, Somali pirates. Jason Saddam Hussein on a boat through a desert. Yeah. Getting almost run over by a giant ball after I picked up that trinket in the cave. If something happens.

18:37Ronnie Karam: Being stymied again and again, trying to rob Macaulay Culkin's home. Oh, my God. Those two velociraptors in that kitchen. Oh, geez. That time that Richard's gear best friend called me a hooker and tried to bang me at a wedding.

18:50Ben Mandelker: Running away from the feds, but thankfully flying up on my bicycle against the backdrop of a moon.

18:58Ronnie Karam: Rescuing Princess Leia from that big blobby thing.

19:01Ben Mandelker: It's been a lot. And, you know, thankfully, if something I know that it takes a lot to rattle me. okay whoa sorry just a spider but if something happens you know how people get excited and are like oh my god i've always gone quiet you know you know that thing when people get excited and they're like oh my god yeah i'm a quiet type yeah i don't do that you know i want i want to find my way out you know i've had a lot of battles with skeletor over the years and uh the only way to do that is to become clear-headed and strategic you know how i stole he-man's hair

19:37Ronnie Karam: I just stayed quiet until he went to sleep I took it

19:42Ben Mandelker: I just looked at the back of that yacht and I said I have the power

19:51Ronnie Karam: so she's like ah you know it's just a crack going along the whole boat it's repairable I just saw a Titanic a crack is a big deal a little water gets in there you're all dead I'm just warning you now

20:03Ben Mandelker: yeah it's over Sandy's like okay look did you look up and we were right there is that what happened I'm trying to give you an excuse on camera and he's like half a meter a fucking meter I said okay you know what I'm going to push you in the water if you say the F word again no more saying that you gotta learn do not let this shit bother you because I'm sick of you cursing so don't let this shit bother you you're the leader of a team you don't have to be down it's superficial we still need to pick up charter tomorrow Correct the mistake. Be better tomorrow. Understood. Capisce?

20:38Ronnie Karam: But I can't believe it. That I'm sudden it. Do you want me to scream at you? Oh, my God. Look, someone's calling me. It's Captain Sandy calling. Why is my ringer not off? It's an iPad. I didn't even know it rang. Guess what? Guess what? Guess what? I'm going to stay quiet about it.

20:52Ben Mandelker: You know what? You know what? I don't get rattled anymore by phone calls. Even when I do put it on do not disturb. It's on do not disturb.

20:59Ronnie Karam: I know. It happens to me all the time. It's already on do not disturb.

21:03Ben Mandelker: I put on do not disturb. Jeez. And it's like, guess what? Guess what, Ronnie? Today's been a bad day for you. Do not disturb. People are like, we're going to disturb him no matter what. They're coming for me.

21:14Ronnie Karam: It has been, yeah. The hotel came to clean my room because it's like an apartment hotel, so you only get one day where they come in. And I put do not disturb on there so I could sleep like knock, knock, ring, ring, knock, knock, ring, ring. Oh, we needed to clean your room, but we see you have a do not disturb thing on. I was like, yeah. Yeah. So you did see that. So we're just ignoring that now. All right. Well, come on in. Come on.

21:39Ben Mandelker: Yeah, please go. Play down. Let's take a nap together. That makes me so mad. That makes me so mad. So mad.

21:45Ronnie Karam: I guess it's better than just not cleaning it because trust me, that room needed it. I was like, look for M &Ms. There are M &Ms all over the place. I spelled some M &Ms. I think I got them all.

21:55Ben Mandelker: I got woken up at 7 a.m. the day after our cabaret and by a text message. It was my fault because I forgot to put my phone on silent because I passed out because I was so exhausted. I passed out. It's not a happy camper.

22:09Ronnie Karam: Guys, they'll get you. So stay calm, okay? And he's like, but I'm disappointed. She's like, I'll murder you. You stay calm. I'm cutting your throat. I'm going to kill your baby too. You shut the fuck up or your whole family's dead. He's like, okay. Jeez. Okay. Well, back to it. Everybody's safe here. Except you and your goddamn family if you say one more fucking thing. All right, everybody.

22:32Ben Mandelker: Let's go take a nap. Okay, well, before this experience is over, let me go complain to Stipe, our port liaison. Stipe, I just want to say, have you found your religion yet? That's a Michael Stipe joke. So I'm sure you heard that I'm standing in the place where you live. Gee, I can't stop myself. But we are not shiny happy people. Oh, God, that's three. I can't do any more. Rules of three. Unless I can get to five. Do I have two more in me? But there were two party boats blaring music after curfew at 8pm, right?

23:05Ronnie Karam: Are you complaining to me after you just let Gloria out of the vortex? The rhythm got her for a reason.

23:14Ben Mandelker: She's like, sorry, geez. Do you know we have an ordinance here that if Gloria Estefan is in the vicinity, you can't make Michael Stipe jokes. Two genres that Do not mix.

23:26Ronnie Karam: So Nathan continues to sulk. And Luke sees Joy and he's like, hey, do you ever get a break? She's like, in 45 days.

23:38Ben Mandelker: By then, I will have taken this knife and dragged it from your chin all the way down to your ball sack.

23:44Ronnie Karam: And Joy's like, oh, these pets are so tiny. How am I supposed to come?

23:47Ben Mandelker: I'm so sorry, Sarah, our producer. She just gave me this look like, what are you guys talking about? our sweet producer was like what is happening here what the fuck are these guys doing

23:59Ronnie Karam: well so now it's the next morning 701 a.m okay five hours before charter and uh nathan comes to the bridge and uh he's like good morning he's like you're really taking it like a champ aren't you like god last night we still talking about that all right that's it get over here i've got a straight razor your throat's mine it's like no i was talking about the fact that you're somehow dangling diagonally off that chair well you know it takes a while to get to understand these things it's like all right let it go already okay so here's what we're gonna do we're gonna have people here people there people on the bow people hanging upside down people under the water under the boat you know that'll be fun see if they can hold their breath all right well we'll bring a sha on the bow that'll free up your hands call isha so the caller and uh nathan basically said

24:46Ben Mandelker: He's like, okay, we're docking. I'm going to need you to be on the bow. He needs to be on radio. Also, furthermore, as we come into the dock, I'm going to need everyone who's out there on the deck to dance, do a little dance to blame it on the sunshine. It's a fun song if you think about it. Don't blame it on the boogie. Blame it on the sunshine. Oh, no, actually, I'm sorry. Don't blame it on the sunshine. Blame it on the boogie. It's very confusing on who you're supposed to blame at any given moment.

25:10Ronnie Karam: No problem. I used to be a dickhead. All right, so now it's preference sheet meeting time. and we're doing the separate thing where Asha has prep sheet meeting with her people, and then Captain has it with the deck people

25:25Ben Mandelker: for whatever reason. But now we're getting a little bit of... They've been experimenting with ways to jazz up the preference sheet meeting, which I don't know why they need to. I think it's fine. But on Blow Deck Down Under, we would get a whole big video segment, which I enjoyed. Now we're getting a small video segment where they're like, she's... Sandy, Candy. Sandy is like, hey, Angela and Matt, they sent us a video. Okay, gather around. Let's see these two give a video. So we see this woman, Angela, and she's like, hi, Captain Sandy. We produced these shows on the Las Vegas trip and we're celebrating our 23rd year ex-burlesque, ex-rocks, and ex-country and we're bringing the ex-girls with us to celebrate.

26:06Ben Mandelker: I love a classy triple X. Nice, classy charter. It is funny. I forget that sometimes, like on Blow Duck Down Under, We had so many groups of gay men come on as guests. It was a lot of gays this season. And I forget that on Blow Deck Med, we often get bikini girls instead. Right? Or am I just making that up? I don't know. I'll trust you. Isn't Blow Deck Med the one where there's a skeevy guy who winds up taking photos of women in bikinis? DVR erased.

26:38Ronnie Karam: There are too many blow decks. Someone look that up.

26:40Ben Mandelker: I may be making a theory based off of nothing.

26:42Ronnie Karam: Yeah, no, that stuff is too much for me. So it's all women and one man, guys. And Cooper's like, hola, there. So Aisha's meeting. She's like, on day one, they want to kind of play lunch and make the most of the yacht's water toys.

27:02Ben Mandelker: Joy goes, something that sounds boring. I want to make onion soup. So Genevieve is like, the guests would love to experience a traditional Croatian meal with white glove service. I love that. I love that a little bit more than everyone else here. I guess I'm just like, I'm a more successful person, right?

27:18Ronnie Karam: So, back to Sandy. Cooper's like, on the second morning, Angela and Matt want to treat their team of girls to the island of Lacroix. That's Lacroix. Stupid, I think. Stupid, corn-fed. Let me guess. Yeah, let me guess. You played football. Knew it. Calde.

27:38Ben Mandelker: I have to Lacroix. The group will come back for an extravagant Las Vegas-themed dinner to give thanks back to their best performers at the center of their success.

27:49Ronnie Karam: So, two hours until guest arrival. So, it's just like, oh, starting when we've already crashed the boat, that could be perceived as a bad omen, but I'm looking at it as we've set the bar so low, we can only go up from here.

28:07Ben Mandelker: business season needs to go well because it's about to be my wedding and also asia asia's always done this thing but now it's even more severe than ever before in her interviews she is bending over so much that i feel like she's on one of those like boats that's going under a very low grip she's like oh it's been so sad

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30:33Ronnie Karam: So everybody lines up to greet the guests. And Cooper is like, this is charter yachting. All right. Look at all these ladies.

30:42Ben Mandelker: Yeah. And then the crew gets, goes, the guests come on, crew gets changed. Isha gives the tour and Joe and Cooper are getting changed their cabin. And Joe's like, it's very hot. You know what that means though? Minimal clothing for the females. If I were Boson, I would make sure that all the women wear bikinis.

31:00Ronnie Karam: I'm just here to respect people. That's all I care about. I see a bunch of ladies like that. And I just say respect. I'm here to respect every, my mama would whoop me otherwise.

31:13Ben Mandelker: so then he's really he's so corn fed it's crazy so Nathan's telling everyone to change and the stews are serving snacks in the sun deck and then Sandy's like okay Nathan ready to go let's get this party started gosh I really can't stop doing that Macarena I really have been gotten by that rhythm

31:33Ronnie Karam: so Nathan is giving orders and Cooper's like wow you're like my deck daddy Nathan's like oh Jesus Jesus Christ man deck daddy sounds like I should be wearing leather and a fucking gimp mask and so chop chop you've heard your instructions so anchor up the women are eating on the sun deck uh joy is with some of the stews in the galley and kaylee's screaming joy to the world food is sick it's so good i could scream oh my god this is the moment

32:07Ben Mandelker: where i was like i think i do not like this person she was just like everyone was just trying to focus on work and she's doing like a cheer routine while doing joy to the world like none of it made sense it was all annoying yeah she's a very

32:17Ronnie Karam: high energy lady yeah this one so asia is helping the deck crew and talking about how she used to be a deckhand everything goes smoothly people are asking for a lemon drops because of course they are yeah and um now they're gonna go change into our bikinis

32:32Ben Mandelker: yeah and so um nathan tells joe he wants toys out as fast as possible and joe goes yeah just no more accidents nathan's like right I'm just stating the obvious I just really don't want to scratch the boat again like you're taking the toys out nothing to do with what happened on the deck oh yeah

32:53Ronnie Karam: it's just checking on dinner and she's asking how many courses there are she's like three zucchini rolls like a mousse bouche lamb for four and a calamari risotto for the other four people then raspberry hot dessert

33:06Ben Mandelker: it will be actual hearts of men who betrayed me coated in raspberry sauce. So she says that the guests want some canopies. And she's like, maybe they're not allowed to eat. It's very annoying because I'm eager to show my talent to the guests. I mean, my Picasso era, you know, I want to impress the world.

33:26Ronnie Karam: So Nathan's radioing Joe. And Joe's like, Nathan, I have my hands full. He's like, it's taken seven years. I know respectfully, this is an organization issue. Like, we haven't got order. Has anybody even in charge here? oh jeez I can't even work when the boat is so scratched

33:44Ben Mandelker: so Nathan's like what the fuck Joe I know things are a little different between us now but if it gets any worse we'll have to have conversations

33:51Ronnie Karam: where's our sun cream are we supposed to all die of skin cancer because our leader can't even give us sun cream I'm dying

33:59Ben Mandelker: so the guests want dinner at 8 and they start playing in the water toys and Cooper's driving them around this jet ski is going around and Joe's talking to Kaylee and about like food like you know is there any food left as she's doing the dishes and Kaylee's like oh wait I really fed him like a dog and Joe's like oh that's right because he comes in and he comes around the corner and he's like I'm really hungry could someone please put some food in my mouth and so Kaylee puts like a pastry in his mouth and he just like he like chomps down on it and then whatever isn't in there just sort of like falls out into her hand and she's like He's like an actual dog.

34:38Ben Mandelker: Yeah.

34:39Ronnie Karam: Oh my God, what the fuck? Pursers would never do this. So we go to the galley and dinner's at eight. And Joy's like, wait, I need the girls to be ready before we send down the food or I lose my temper.

34:51Ben Mandelker: I really feel like when she loses her temper, we should all steer clear of her. I cannot wait for her to lose her temper. Her name is Joy.

34:59Ronnie Karam: It's going to be terrible. This is the most excited I've been for a cast mate in a long time. I think she has so much promise. And Aisha's like, oh, I'll have a waiting.

35:07Ben Mandelker: She's scary. On my old boat, people call me the little dragon. When I will say service and the girl will not be in the galley, I will scream, are you stupid, fucking stupid or what? Let's talk with Aisha. We might go together and have the same standout. So let's see on the first dinner.

35:22Ronnie Karam: Yeah. So now Nathan and Cooper are helping guests with water toys. And Nathan's like, Cooper, did you tell the guests to stay around the boat? And he's like, no. Well, same thing I told you. It's the same thing you need to tell the guests. So go tell him. He's like, geez Louise, geez.

35:38Ben Mandelker: You're tall.

35:39Ronnie Karam: Hey, guys, y 'all are tall. Damn. What? You said the same thing you said to me.

35:47Ben Mandelker: And now it's time for Below Deck's version of the Thunderdome. It's a tablescaping fight. Oh, my God. Two women enter, one women leave, and some royalties.

35:59Ronnie Karam: Yeah, Kaylee, the energetic blonde lady, is like, um, Gene, you can help us out with this. I think it's going to be quite simple scape. I admire literally just like gold candles everywhere. You know, tablescapes. I'm so good at them. I love tablescapes. I dream of tablescapes. The other day I was at a restaurant. They asked me what I wanted to eat. I said a tablescape. They actually served it. It chipped a tooth, but it was worth it.

36:22Ben Mandelker: So Genevieve says, maybe I'm being dramatic, but it feels like Kaylee is trying to take charge of this.

36:28Ronnie Karam: Well, I used to be a wedding coordinator. So, you know, themes, table decor, going a bit too crazy. that's my jam, it's where I belong. You know, people proposing, even though the bride is standing right there. It's just sort of how it goes. You know, gorgeous, talented, and a tablescape artist.

36:42Ben Mandelker: I have done hundreds of tablescapes. So Kayleigh being like, let me take charge of the situation. It's like going to Captain Sandy and trying to tell her how to dock the damn boat.

36:50Ronnie Karam: I'm like, well,

36:51Ben Mandelker: might not be the worst thing to do.

36:52Ronnie Karam: I was going to say, this is not the episode to say that.

36:55Ben Mandelker: And we're seeing, like, comparative photos of their tablescapes over the years, which is really fun. I'm like, ooh, tablescape territory fights.

37:02Ronnie Karam: This is also captain sandy's wet drain to have two people fighting over like oh my god i want to do the

37:10Ben Mandelker: tablescapes the tablescapes are so extra i feel like as a charter guest i don't think i would need a tablescape it's like nice but like i don't think i need all i i would rather my stews spend that time cleaning than like putting you know twill on a table you know like i mean it's the

37:26Ronnie Karam: thing though it's like a big it's an art form look at all the pictures they have 100 their whole you

37:31Ben Mandelker: You know, our friend Daria, she puts together an amazing tablescape. And so if I ever have like a potluck and she comes over, she makes a beautiful tablescape. She does a great job. It's so wonderful and amazing. But like, it's also like, it doesn't take like three hours. And it looks beautiful and refined. And here they like do it for like hours and hours. And I'm like, they're putting pebbles everywhere. I'm like, if I'm a charter guest, I'm going to say, you don't have to do this. You can take this moment to get rest.

38:04Ronnie Karam: It's like the shot put.

38:07Ben Mandelker: Okay.

38:08Ronnie Karam: You see that and you're just like, why? I mean, good for you. Like, who does that? Like, who wakes up as a kid and they're like, that's what I'm going to do. The shot put. But, you know, good for you. It happens. So, now Nathan and Matt are out on the deck and talking about the girls, of course. and Nathan's like, well, I have a partner now and a baby. Matt's like, really? Well, is that, oh, Emily, the blonde from France, she just had a baby and she looks great. Oh, no, this is the guest, right? Okay, so the guest is like, you excited? I'm sorry.

38:40Ben Mandelker: I'm sorry about shot putting. My friend Elena from college was a shot put person. Sorry, Elena.

38:46Ronnie Karam: And Daria, because Ben just called you useless.

38:48Ben Mandelker: No, I said, no, Daria does it quick.

38:50Ronnie Karam: I'm kidding. Daria does a great job.

38:51Ben Mandelker: I just see that as a useless job.

38:54Ronnie Karam: I'm just kidding. She can do it quickly and efficiently. And on these shows, it's like hours. Okay, and thank you for giving me a moment to reset because I was wrong. So this is the main guy, the lead whatever guest. So he's like, are you excited about the girls? Nathan says he has a partner and a baby. And he's like, really? Because Emily, that blonde from France, she just had a baby. She looks great. Her tits got better. They got bigger. Now they stay a little firmer. Know what I mean? He's like, oh, my God. Jesus Christ, man.

39:25Ben Mandelker: i've not really heard that that that's always the experience um after after nursing a baby what a thing to say like who says that i know and our note taker says as a mother no

39:38Ronnie Karam: well i guess like when they're still like full yeah maybe i don't know i'm gonna wait until talk about some pregnant ladies boobs god bless their hearts but at least this guy is being positive yeah not like most of the guys on this

39:53Ben Mandelker: show sure i guess he's also being gross um so cat uh yeah but i'm just saying at least he's being

39:59Ronnie Karam: positive while he's not yeah she's had a baby so we put her out to pasture he's like she just had a baby and she's even hotter now yeah yeah oh okay see there you go so um cat then uh takes isha

40:11Ben Mandelker: she's like oh my god do you want to see the title that i made so it's just like oh my god that looks amazing who did this and and so cat is like oh actually i saw i said that cat made it but it was kaylee so cat's like oh kaylee did it it was her vision and so now asia's like by the way i want everyone in the boat to know that the table is gorgeous well done and i'm sure this won't upset anyone whoever did this is a genius and everyone should always take order from the person who made this beautiful tablescape.

40:44Ronnie Karam: And Kaylee's like, oh my God, stop. But I couldn't have done it with that cat and Genevieve as well. Seriously, my raw girl, stand behind me and take a pat behind me. Great. Genevieve is like, I'm an only child and my mom likes to say I have a problem competing with other people. I mean, well, they don't know that we have a competition going on. Like, it's literally in my head, but there is an alarm going off in my head, okay? And that's the fake bitch alarm because she knows what she's doing. She wants to second stew and i don't like this at all i love her spiraling already already it's so funny and

41:19Ben Mandelker: then she walks upstairs i'm just like she's got a little bit of um what's her face uh and the dutch girl um who would fight on islands with her sister yes she's like my dad used to take me

41:32Ronnie Karam: and my sisters and drop us off on a deserted island until one of us beat the out of each other what was her name like sunday or holiday yeah rainbow rainbow sunday close it is a type of sunday and it's spelled with an e at the end wasn't it

41:50Ben Mandelker: yeah i think that's no it was like rainbow whatever so um so now they just go to the

41:56Ronnie Karam: table and they're like oh my god you guys isn't like a full moon we should walk over here and see if it's up for me it's up for me and then they're showing their butts because their butts are out of their dresses oh my god

42:12Ben Mandelker: yeah and heart shapes it's exciting so then Joe texts his mom he's like Nathan's on the boat and then Nathan is with Sandy and Nathan's like how do you think today I want she's like well it went well this chair won't stop spinning I'm getting a little dizzy but other than that I think it's been great so

42:33Ronnie Karam: Sandy's like, well, I mean, it went well considering. He's like, yesterday, considering yesterday when I cracked the vote. Shut the fuck up. I'm gonna kill you. You got that. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. We can improve. And she's like, eat your meal. Just eat your meal. You're finished for the night. Whiny fucking baby.

42:50Ben Mandelker: The guests love the table setting. And then they're being served food. So Joy's like, good evening, madame et messieurs. Peasant people who don't like Picasso's offerings. Here comes your canapé dinner. I thought you'd start the menu tonight with eggplant spread with pepper and zucchini. Eat it if you can, but I'd rather shove it in your face because you're ingrateful for my art.

43:12Ronnie Karam: I wanted to serve you something you receive in your text from every man that comes across from you. Eggplant. Enjoy. So Matt's like, that's really good for a non-pregnant lady. And Katie's like, oh my god, I really don't like eggplant, but this is really good.

43:28Ben Mandelker: So Genevieve and Kat are cleaning dishes or something. And Kat's like, are you doing? And Genevieve's like, good. It's an interesting first charter. I don't like being told what to do. So she is now going to start her campaign against Kaylee or whatever her name is.

43:46Ronnie Karam: Like the nicest person in the world, by the way. She enjoys the world. She's like, fuck this girl. She's like the sweetest person ever born. She's like, yeah, I don't like being told what to do. And she says, who? Who did that? She's like, Kaylee. She says, yeah, I don't fuck with that. I would say something before she gets on your nerves. So I like Kat.

44:03Ben Mandelker: Kat's going to stir. Yeah, exactly. I mean, Kaylee is kind of annoying, but also she seems very nice. So now then the guests are joking with Aisha about teaching her how to make her boobies spin tassels. And then Luke is helping Genevieve wash dishes. And now it's time to clear. And everyone liked the food. And then they're serving some risotto and lamb and all this good stuff. So now we go back down to the pantry. as Genevieve and Kaylee. And Kaylee is like, oh, by the way, the white gloves can just go in that little bag over there. You just can feel the flames coming out of Genevieve's eyes about the white glove instructions.

44:39Ronnie Karam: Yeah, because at first I was like, wow, Genevieve is really just being too sensitive. Like, this girl didn't do anything wrong. But then they cut, now from now on, she does become really bossy. It's funny. She's like, aim with the white gloves over there. She's like, if I would have told my senior stew on any of my previous books what to do, I literally would have been bitch slapped in the face.

44:58Ben Mandelker: Yeah, but you're not the senior Stu. You're not. But she has more experience. I can kind of understand her frustration because she's like, I'm sure in her mind, she's like, I know where they go. But it's also hilarious to see this person who comes on super ambitious. Like, what was her name? I'm sorry, I'm asking all the trivia for Below Deck. Like Orlean or whatever her name was who was on Below Deck Adventure and she was like really ambitious. and she first was like, she kept on hooking up with higher and higher people on the boat. Anyway.

45:31Ronnie Karam: I'm so sorry. It's like I haven't even been here.

45:34Ben Mandelker: She used to be in the circus. Oh, yeah. I was like a stilt walker.

45:38Ronnie Karam: Oh, yes.

45:39Ben Mandelker: She was like, why would you hook up with a boat when you could hook up with a captain? She was crazy.

45:44Ronnie Karam: I don't remember that about her, but I do remember making a lot of circus jokes about that chick. So, Genevieve calls her mom And she's like, I mean, there's so much hierarchy on a boat and Asia hasn't picked the second stew, but I do have more experience like years on this girl, Kaylee. Okay. And this girl today is like barking orders at me. Like we should do this and we should do that. And her mom, who knows her very well, goes, honey, just be cool. Be cool. It's better to be a leader with calmness. Don't get kicked out of another school, please.

46:15Ben Mandelker: I know.

46:16Ronnie Karam: We can't afford to pay another year's tuition at another private school, please, honey.

46:21Ben Mandelker: We had such high hopes for you at Dalton. and she's like, listen, honey, it's like what I always tell my staff of 40 people. It's better to be a leader with calmness. Is that what you tell your staff? Oh, you don't have a staff, honey. Okay.

46:36Ronnie Karam: Listen, I always will support your single stripe. Now just stay calm.

46:41Ben Mandelker: We can't wait for you to be a purser someday.

46:46Ronnie Karam: So she's like, I've been put too much into this to be taking direction, direction from a fucking green stew. I've never tolerated on any of my boats and I'm sure as hell not going to tolerate it now. You're in service. Your job is literally to be bossed around. Calm down.

47:02Ben Mandelker: She is spiraling so early. She's folding a towel. She's like, bitch. So then Genevieve is giving herself a pep talk. She's like, I am great. I am sexy. I'm so fucking good at my job. I feel like this girl went to Smith College and just got bullied the entire time she was there. She is really going through it. so now Kaylee and Kat are talking and Kaylee's like, is Jin okay? She didn't look very happy and I was like, oh my god, she hates my fucking gods. It happens a lot when you're so good at tablescapes though it's the burden of success

47:37Ronnie Karam: Well, but she wishes she could table escape me, but unfortunately we're working together and Kat's like, you think she hates you? She's like, she does now, oh god and Kate's like, oh wow shit's gonna happen, I'm not gonna feed into that unless it's fucking funny and I want to see what happens yes cat that's our girl right there yes cat so the guests love dinner

47:58Ben Mandelker: they love dessert the dessert the raspberry hearts are really cool there were these big hearts with like a mirror glaze on them actually and then we see nathan and joe and nathan is like help where we can he's like yes sir but like he does yes sir in a way that's like whatever and then nathan's like listen i don't appreciate the energy or whatever these past two days I want it fucking professional. We'll smash it this fucking season. And that's where I lay with it. Just do a deck check and then we're done. Okay.

48:26Ronnie Karam: Like, oh, go do a deck check now. What the fuck, mate? Because Nate just walks away. He's like, what the fuck, mate? Give me a fucking break.

48:34Ben Mandelker: So then in the galley, Aisha is like, congratulations, Joy, on your first day. Are you happy with this service? I don't have anything to say. So I guess I'm happy.

48:44Ronnie Karam: First, you know, it was perfect. Amazing. it's really a lot of pressure off my shoulders because she matched with my standards so good, so I like that that was good I want them to get along but then Joy to like literally rip everybody else

48:59Ben Mandelker: yeah, yeah, that's what I love that so then Joe is mumbling he is doing a deck check so this guy who's dedicated himself to the craft of being a bosun or whatever suddenly is like annoyed at having to do a basic job on this boat and so now we go into Joe in Cooper's cabin and Joe afterwards, he goes in the cabin and he's like, I'm going to be very open with you because I'm an open man I've got a lot of personal shit with Nathan and it's hard. So now here he's going to go and try to turn the deck crew against Nathan.

49:30Ronnie Karam: Cooper's like, I'm pretty open too I'm going to be open with you I played football

49:35Ben Mandelker: We know. Could you please stop doing the splits? There's not enough room in here.

49:38Ronnie Karam: Yeah, football face. So Joe's like, my number one goal this season is to prove to Captain Sandy that I'm ready to take the next step in my career. So I want to be bosun someday. And then, Captain, but let me tell you, I'm going to have a tough time doing that with Nathan in charge. So let's get rid of him.

49:57Ben Mandelker: So then Gail is on the phone with Nathan. Hello, Bob. How are you, boys? How are you doing, man? And he's like, I just don't trust Joe. So here's a fucking issue. He wants to step on toes. And he's mentioned a few times how I've been bosun. But I'm like, you have an alternative motive here. or ulterior, but that's fine. It's ulterior.

50:16Ronnie Karam: Yeah. Oh, well, he always has an alternative motive. That's Joel. He's like, well, I don't trust him. And I'm choosing Luke as the lead deckhand. And I'm telling Captain Sandy tomorrow and Joel's going to be pest and I don't care. Dun, dun, dun. So is that fair that he's just automatically going to choose somebody else just because he doesn't like Joel?

50:35Ben Mandelker: Well, I don't know what Luke's experience is. Joel is saying that he has a lot, a lot of experience now. but also

50:43Ronnie Karam: But didn't they say that he's the one who can't keep a job and he's new to yachting?

50:47Ben Mandelker: Exactly. He's new to yachting but Nathan also probably doesn't want to put someone at number two who's going to be undermining him and Joe's already doing that.

50:55Ronnie Karam: Yeah. And Joe's smarting off to him and stuff. Yeah. You can't

50:58Ben Mandelker: have someone who's going to be an underminer in the second position. Oh. Well, we'll see what happens. We'll see. Fun little premiere. Back to it.

51:08Ronnie Karam: Alright everybody. Well, thank you so much for being here. We will talk to you

51:12Ben Mandelker: next time. Bye. Watch what Crappens would like to thank its premium sponsors. She answered the call. It's Adia Paul. Ain't no thing like Alison King. Our way is the Amber way. It's the Foster and the Furious. It's Amanda Foster. It's always automatic with Ashley Otto. Put your hands together for Carly Clapp.

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53:02Ben Mandelker: Who, what, why, where, and Gwen Pentland. Nobody holds a candle to Jamie Kendall We got our wish, it's Jen Plish Have a kebab with K-Rob My favorite Murdo, Karen McMurdo Let's get savage with Laura Wildman In the study with a candlestick, it's Leslie Peacock We're ride or die for Lisa Ryder Barron She's a whiz, it's Liz Sarthy Always killing it, it's Lola Alkalani Roger that, it's Marlis Rogers

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53:57Ronnie Karam: She ain't no shrinking Violet Kuchar. We love you guys.

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