#3413 Below Deck Med S11E02 Part Two: Baby On Board

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1:45Ben Mandelker: Watch what crap is. Watch what crap is. Who cares what happens when there's so much crap is? Watch what crap is. Oh, I mean, what's your crap? Who cares what happens when there's so much that crap ends? Well, hello and welcome to Watch What Crappens. This is part two of a two-part recap. If you're like, hey, wait a minute, I didn't hear part one. Guys, it's because we put out a lot of recaps. Go back and listen to part one, okay? It's before this one. Bye. Enjoy the show. So Aisha is, she comes and sees the setup. She's like, oh my goodness, amazing. And Cooper's like, Kayla, you killed it. You did so good.

2:31And Asha's just thrilled. She's done such a good job. And the other girls seem great too. You know, for the first time in my career, I really feel like I'm leading a group of girls that are a different generation. I mean, how trippy is that? I'm like a wild old horse like Seabiscuit.

2:56Ben Mandelker: excuse me so she's they serve the food and then uh kelly is uh kelly comes over to the kitchen the galley and she's like oh my god is this your cake it's like yes this is the cake that you're going to decorate she's like yay oh my god let me just check with the girls because i feel like now will be a really good time to do this so she goes to genevieve and she's like hi so i might do another vacuum and jen's like um well cat and i just vacuumed yeah after putting away all those placemats that were shoved everywhere oh did you she goes yeah just vacuum she goes oh what's that and she picks something off the carpet yes and jen's like i said it's done she goes oh all good well joy was asking if maybe i could help decorate the cake is now a good time okay now that i've finish this vacuuming job.

3:50Naughty naughty. Like if you want.

3:54Ben Mandelker: Some would say decorating a cake makes you more successful than your parents. Wouldn't you agree? Okay, I'm going to go do it now. So then Kelly tells us Jean's kind of giving mean girl energy right now. When someone doesn't like me, I kind of turn that inward and go, well, what the fuck is wrong with me? Because, you know, I used to be really bossy in school. I was like, uh, hate to break it to you. Yeah, you're still pretty bossy. yeah we can already tell you're still bossy it's like I was really bossy in school and I was like school captain and I was a little bit too gong-ho and I started off to do well and then I sort of fell off from my friends and I was becoming afraid not to fit in and not to be liked and then I lost that side of me I guess and that person who was confident who was so strong okay Tracy Fleck we've seen this movie before yes you are being played by Reese Witherspoon 100 % so we go back to what did you say?

4:46Reese Aussie spin. So we go back to the beach picnic and Coop is diving off the rocks and they're like, oh my God, I'm going to do that. Ow, ow, ow. Flat rocks, watch out. Ow, ow.

5:01Ben Mandelker: The first time a head injury would actually improve someone's capacities outside of a comic book, they just start resetting like a computer. They're like, did you read about the Shredder Vormos today?

5:21Ben Mandelker: yes i want to go cliff diving it's straight up her muse so um genevieve and kat are in the crew mess and jen is banging ice against the table in the way that only someone who is furious at a perky australian and their parents simultaneously would bang ice yeah and kat's like um are you struggling because i feel like by the ninth charter you're going to be doing that to someone's head like you're terrifying it's like um yeah well i don't think it's going to be you because kaylee gets to do all the fun shit i mean i hate to be a bitch but like i'm more experienced than both of you i've been doing this for fucking almost four years i am 22 this has been my entire existence ring ring ring hold down one second oh hi mom and dad hi jen we just want to let you know that when we were your age we would have already broken up the ice okay good luck on that success trajectory bye kaylee getting to do the excursion definitely shows that asia is favoring kaylee a bit more well i have paid my deuce in yachting and how is that a green stewardess is leading service how am i the one stuck in cabins oh my god you are your own worst enemy nobody wants to work with you you have to be somebody that people want to work with you're miserable oh my god uh never change so then please yeah please

6:44i'm calling you awful but it's in such an excited way i'm like you were so terrible

6:50Ben Mandelker: thank you so jen is like i think i just need to start being a little bit more aggressive like not no but like a little bit more assertive like snap fingers oh that's not that's not how to win people over oh and cat is trying to help her she's like okay but don't let that backfire okay make sure you keep your attitude good she goes oh really well if she got second stew i would be really pissed well then over at the picnic cooper is feeding a peacock and he's like the peacocks are dope i'm a huge fan of anything that's colorful and i love animals one time back in charleston i bought a 10 ,000 gallon pool and I installed it in the backyard and made my own aquarium and I spent a whole day catching catfish and bass and anything we could catch in the backyard we just throw in the pool but unfortunately that ended when the HOA threatened to fine us$500 for an eyesore and maybe it's all the dead fish that were in your quote-unquote aquarium that yeah like it was 10 gallon not 10 ,000 but still yeah he was just throwing like uh all these fish they just kept cutting to there were some pretty big fish in there big fish i'm like don't do that don't do that yeah you're just like making a bowl for alligators you know to eat from and then there's that too do they have alligators there they do right or do they not an alligator will find its way up there when i was in new orleans it was so funny they have signs we're up we're by the there's like we were dom and i were in a park and there was there was like some there was water there and there were signs that said like they were like little birds and the signs were like don't feed the birds because you know if you feed the birds the birds all flock and the birds all flock the alligators come so some some idiots they give their little like four-year-old child maybe even not even four maybe even just three they give them some bread this kid is throwing throwing bread at the birds and of course all the birds flock and lo and behold an alligator comes swimming up i'm like dom and i were like we then just like tell the parents like um you want to move your child they're like no it's fine like there's an alligator coming for it like oh really like that's why it says don't feed the birds i mean we're totally being like gay gay you know police at that moment but like i'm sorry people are idiots what am i even talking why am i on this path again i love it though i mean i think the only thing you did wrong was warned the parents I know.

9:22I mean, survival of the fittest, Ben, okay? It's not survival of the closest to gay people with warnings.

9:30Ben Mandelker: I almost felt bad for the alligator. The alligator, I mean, it came like this. It was like a little alligator. It wasn't like a fully mature one. It just came up like, ooh. It was like, literally like, excuse me, I'm just going to check out the cake. It was like, here we go, a little afternoon snack. I was like, oh, this poor gator. It thought it had a real special snack for itself. Well, no one wants to eat a dumb child. You know, they don't taste good. They're not as juicy. It wasn't so much that the child was dumb. It's more that the parents were dumb. Hmm. Because they let their child go by apples, trees.

10:04Ben Mandelker: Also, what parent is letting their little like toddler just like amble about on the edge of alligator waters? Like, come on. Yeah. I don't know. They're not all smart. you know i feel like you're gonna tell a story like well when i was a kid i used to always i would see alligators and walk around waiting in that i like to go knee deep and then if i saw an alligator i'd be like fuck you and then i'd just walk away and the alligator would always know no no i'm you know what i am afraid of things that can eat me okay i've always i've always had that sense so i'm proud to announce it today that is one story you will not be hearing from me um so although i do have one funny alligator story and it's just from florida because I know a lady who lives there.

10:49We know a lady who lives there, and she's like, I live by the swamp, and it's actually the queen of Versailles. Everybody knows who this is. Jackie, the queen of Versailles. She's like, so, you know, I have a swamp. There was this neighbor, and I think he was cheating on his wife, and then he disappeared. And I was like, well, what happened to him? She goes, no one knows. We think the alligators ate him. And then she just kept on talking. It was just like a part of some other story. And I was like, wait a minute. She goes, yeah, it's Florida. I was like, what? Just what happens. Yeah, it's just like this simple little thing.

11:21The alligator's got him. No one ever thought of him again. Wild things. What a great movie. So anyway, Kaylee and Kat are talking. And Kaylee's like, Kat, I'm so nervous. I can't get this cake to look good. Meanwhile, Asha's like, Cindy, look at the pictures I took of what Kaylee did at the picnic. She's amazing.

11:44Asha's planning a parade for her. Kaylee's trying to get a cake perfect after doing this perfect beach thing and you just know Jen is like

11:52Ben Mandelker: Jen is stabbing a pillow somewhere and Kaylee has a backstory about her cake decorating it's about as annoying as you'd expect I love decorating cakes it comes from my mum growing up in Sydney, Australia she would do the coolest cakes for us and then when I was 11 or 12 I started making cakes too for all my friends and now we're known as a family that makes binti cakes for everybody we should have done this as a business we've been doing this a lot of do a lot of free labor why do i feel like this this like family that decorates is like the most annoying because you know there's gonna be a thing where it's like oh i'm gonna go get a cake no don't get a cake we'll make one we'll decorate it and then becomes a whole big to do and the next thing you know it's like can you come over a little early because we need some help transporting the cake and then all of a sudden your simple desire just have a just a nice little cake has become a production where You have to start 30 minutes early.

12:42Ben Mandelker: You've got to, like, provide transportation. You need a box. You need this and that. And it's just like, you know what? I don't care. Someone's friends with the cake person. I am the cake person. It's me. It's me. It's you. Well, you also, this also shows how annoying Kaylee is because her previous story was about how she was really upset in school because all of her friends just cut her off because she was so bossy. Like, girl, if everybody hates you and you're the person who makes everybody free cakes, I mean you have to be really obnoxious For people to be mean to the free cake person Everyone's nice to the free cake person I know I do feel kind of bad for her Because I do actually feel like She just wants to be loved And she's like making these cakes and everything And like she just She doesn't realize that she's annoying people And now I'm just feeding into her I'm adding to her hurt right now Hurt people hurt people Hurt people eat cake So I'm one of those people Send me a cake From one high maintenance cake person to another, Kaylee, just get an Entenmann sometimes.

13:45Some people are cake people. Some people are cake eaters. You've found your match. All right. Get over here. Let them eat it. All of them are gullet. Shove it down. So anyway, she's like, well, oh, Kat's like, how are things going with Jen, by the way? She's like, we're good. I just thought maybe she might have been mad, but she's very lucky in her mode. So I've made a cake And it says this is where the placements go Thumbs up Hopefully she'll like me

14:18Ben Mandelker: So Nathan and Luke are on this tinder At long last And Nathan's like Luke can take directions for a while I'm so sorry to interrupt you But this is very important to get in here Because messy ass cat goes I think she just wants to be like second stew So I was just asking her your feeling about her Messy messy and i like fun oh i love it and i love that hayley took this information and she's like oh no you don't ma 'am yeah yeah exactly and then i like jen also says to herself no more nice girl jen i was like no more did it ever start but yeah when where was she okay so nathan uh and luke are on the tender to see if Luke can be a lead deckhand.

15:05Ben Mandelker: And so he's like, you're comfortable with Doc and Bro? He's like, we'll find out. I'm like, that's not a good sign. And then the cake is ready. And so Joy's like, look at that beautiful mermaid. Look at what she did. It is beautiful. It's a perfect cake. I love it so much. Gâteau. Gâteau. Beautiful. And she's like, wait for pretty good of course it was great and she's like that's not my best but it's okay right it's like it looks amazing kelly stop that it is actually speaking it is singing song of sirens i do how did you put the voice box in mermaid cake amazing world hello frosting my old friend so

15:53Ben Mandelker: that was such a funny choice of having uh the sound of silence be the song that comes out of that cake that's another love island thing too because what they love oh my god like the sound like when it's silent it like hurts someone said that it's like uh you're so close they played some crazy cover the other night oh you know that old dance song from the 90s like this is the rhythm of the night whoa whoa yeah that's a cheesy 90s dance song and of course

16:28it's time for a commercial it's time for a crap and commercial your outdoor space should feel like you i have this gigantic patio deck thing that i wanted to use for parties and I could just not find any fashionable patio furniture. I needed a lot and I needed it to go together. I needed different pieces that all kind of looked the same. I was able to go on Wayfair and search for exactly what I needed. Different brands, different things all coming together in one style. It was so easy to do it and it looks great.

17:05Ben Mandelker: I can confirm that his outdoor area looks great. And the thing is that you can get more than just seating. You can get grills, major appliances, storage, patio lighting, rugs, decor. Wayfair really is your one-stop shop for home. And the best thing about this place, well not the best, one of the best, is that you don't even have to put this stuff together. You can hire somebody from Wayfair to come put it over, put it all together for you, you know? And that's the best part because if I put it together, it's rickety, it's falling apart, no matter where it's from. I just don't have that skill. But they do.

17:35Ben Mandelker: Yeah, that is actually probably the part of Wayfair that I just tell my friends about just unsolicitedly. I just will say, like, not only can you order the stuff, someone else can put it together for you. Patio season is here, and these deals won't last. Head to Wayfair.com right now and get your outdoor space ready for way less. That's W-A-Y-F-A-I-R dot com. Wayfair, every style, every home. My mom is the queen of the bargain find. I mean, you can't even compliment the woman without finding out how much something costs. I was like, mom, I really love your new dress. She's like, it was$5. I got this as a bargain.

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19:02Ben Mandelker: It's a really cool site. It's a really cool app. I was just clicking around on it this morning. I mean, I'm always on the hunt, believe it or not, for like interesting bunt pans. And there were so many on there, shockingly. But people are selling so much stuff on there. Download WhatNot today and get$20 off and free shipping your first purchase. Search WhatNot, W-H-A-T-N-O-T in the app store. Sign up and start finding the best deals on the products you love with$20 off and free shipping on your first purchase. um okay so the cake and then we go back to luke and nathan and luke isn't even trying to pretend he's like i don't know why this guy's having me dock a fucking boat like what do i know and he's like yeah my tinder driving skills i mean i've driven a small tender in cape town but this one's totally different and nathan's like okay so you're gonna need to back up now he's like and just hits a buoy or a dock whatever of the dock i guess hey uh hey mary time law this is captain sandy i just want to complain about the noise ordinances on the dock we have done the tinder crash and we got to blame it on the noise again so talk about not the sound of silence am i right could you please fix that i'm very angry about this thanks so this is two under nathan's direction two vessels hitting a dock so here we go number two and he's like oh you need a deckhand who can drive the fucking tinder yeah but you also need someone who's going to teach him how like what are you doing also would it kill some of these boat makers to put like a ring of like rubber around the entire side of the boat like a like a why is the entire boat not made of rubber that's what i don't get like like why is it not like a bumper car like the like like before when we talked about it like being one of those like tubes that's on like the those like raging rapids things well why not why not why not have that so we could just come in come in hot on that dock and just bounce until you're you're settled in yeah i mean they even started making cars out of fucking plastic come on like how many titanics do we need before the rubber ring of rubber okay let's do this we're gonna make billions of dollars so um sandy's checking in with joy and she's like so feeling good about dinner she's like oh so excited she's like well good that's Great.

21:19Do you need anything in here? No. Nothing? No. Nap? No. No naps. Hug? No. Fuck this lady. I'm going to get rid of this lady somehow. Tell me right now.

21:32Ben Mandelker: Not vibing with joy. So Kaylee's making a tablescape upstairs now because we're getting ready for dinner and guests are getting ready for their Vegas showgirl outfits. Is the theme Vegas? Like why? Why are you guys From where you came from Seriously Guys I'm gonna I'm gonna charter A yacht I'm gonna spend $30 ,000 And I want the theme to be My house My job Can we have a Shelly's theme Cause I took off the week From Shelly's to work here Like what the fuck But I guess they're doing it To promote their Stupid shows That nobody's ever heard of They're like wow Look at these girls They're from Vegas Okay guys Alright Now we get a Joy and Luke scene.

22:21Another using her for protein scene. She's like, what are you doing here? He's like, I'm starving. I'm just starving. She's like, you are always hungry. There's an extra steak if you want. You're handsome, man.

22:32Ben Mandelker: You dick of the steak. So he's like, yes, I'll take it. Now the guests come in. They're very happy. They see the table. They're just thrilled. And Jen and Kat are in the cabins. And Jen is like, ugh. it's like i just oh i hate doing housekeeping she stabs the mattress yeah seriously she's like oh god i guess i'm not doing service again tonight okay okay i won't be doing service so fine it's one charter you'll do it on the next one yeah so that's she's her own worst enemy meanwhile at dinner h is like have some lobster have some steak depending on your preferences meanwhile Nathan and Cooper talking.

23:16And Cooper's like, how are things with Joe? He's like, bro, we don't have the best relationship. Nathan's like, what? He said that? What the fuck? He's like, yeah, I hate you.

23:27Ben Mandelker: I can't believe that he has been talking about our relationship after I've been visibly and publicly frosty with him for three days now. Exactly. Yeah, he said something like you can fix your haircut, but you can't fix the noggin under it. Something like that. Hey, would you be upset if I put you in a net and transported you to an above-ground pool in Charleston? I think you'd make a great addition to my aquarium. What are you asking me about? I don't understand. This is exactly why I don't want to make him lead deckhand. But Luke can't drive the tender. And Cooper? He's Cooper. What am I supposed to do?

24:05Ben Mandelker: It leaves me kind of fucked. So I'm with Joe. Unfortunately, he has 100 % the best deckhand that I have on my team. And it's fucking stressing me out beyond belief. so nathan's basically like look i don't care what's happened in the past he doesn't need to talk about it talk to anyone about it that's how i feel about it what do you mean you don't care about anything that's happened in the past this entire season's about you grousing about what happened in the past the fact that you're mad right now is about what happened in the past so um now one of the ladies is like wait a minute um i eat meat why aren't i getting meat and so asia goes to the galley and she's like um i want to move her knife and she said that she eats meat and she was like oh oh my god I give to hot man oh no this is why I cannot let man come too close to my cooking it is a very dangerous game because if I don't have another steak that's my repetition so it's guess this lost after yeah like oh five minutes I need more steak now one day I'm going to have a heart attack yeah so she ordered extra steak which is smart But she's like, at least it is medium rare.

25:14So it will be fast. She's an animal. Okay. But here's lesson. Don't follow your boyfriend. Follow your dreams.

25:26Ben Mandelker: So she makes it. It's fine. And then now it's another episode of Kaylee and Jen being hostile towards each other. They're in the galley. And Kaylee's like, Jane, do we have any short glasses? And she's like, Yeah, they're kept in the main salon bar. Normally are, you idiot. Unless you put some placemats on top of them, in which case you wouldn't see them, okay? She's like, Well, I think we're going to move them up here, just easier there, if that works for you. She goes, I guess it has to. Well, I guess my plan for shot glass organization went right out the window.

26:08So now Nathan calls Gail to bitch more. And he's like, oh, God, this guy can't drive the Tinder. I don't know what to do about the lead, to be honest. He's like, I'm sorry. You'll figure it out. You're great at your job.

26:23Ben Mandelker: Does he? He's had two vessels crash. We've seen no evidence of this. Yeah. So now the cake comes out. And they're just like, oh, the best cake we've ever seen. And, like, this looks like the cake that was decorated by someone who knows exactly where to put shot glasses. Like, it's beautiful. I can't eat a mermaid. I love mermaids. It's not real. Seriously, it's talking. It's the most amazing cake we've ever seen. And Aisha's like, Joy's kind of terrifying when you first meet her, but she's also cutesy and childlike, and she definitely produces perfection. Her galley's spotless. She's always presentable.

27:04oh, my theory, she's got a little ratatouille in her butt.

27:10Ben Mandelker: She probably literally has ratatouille up there. She takes her hair out, just a bunch of tomatoes and beans fall out. I fucking love ratatouille. That movie was amazing. The whole opening of that rat running from the sewers of Paris all the way up to the Eiffel, through the kitchens, all the way up to the Eiffel. I mean, what a film. Can I say something? can I say something I've actually never seen it for fuck's sake it wasn't intentional I wasn't avoiding it I just somehow I missed it but I do want to see it and it's like really up my alley so I'm going to fast track it it's so good I love the idea of it yeah it's really good so then they congratulate the guests on being 23 years old in Vegas and Kaylee's like So now we go downstairs to Kaylee and Aisha, and Kaylee goes, I don't mind, and I know it's up to you, but I think Jin prefers doing service.

28:08You know, I've heard that. And I'm happy to float if that makes her happier. I just don't want Jin to be upset. She seems pretty upset. I was like, oh, yes. This is the moment I've been alluding to this whole recap where Kaylee's like, okay, lady, you're going to start with me? I'm going to do it, but I'm going to do it better. And she does. Aisha falls for it. She goes, yeah, but it's not really up to her, is it?

28:32Ben Mandelker: It's like a sly tattle. It's a faux high road, taking the high road. And it was a brilliant power move on Kaylee's part. And Jen, you should be smarter. You should be able to recognize these people because they're always going to get their way. You have to be careful. You got to be careful of the Tracy books of the world. She did. She said in one way, she's like, oh, ow. oh, Jen hurt me. I'm like, Jen's been mean to me because I'm doing service. And she said, I'm a team player. And she said, I can do every job on this boat. And she said, you can rely on me. And she said, I'm not a backbiting bee, like that other girl.

29:11All in one sweet little smiley sentence. You fucked with the wrong lady, Jen.

29:16Ben Mandelker: Jen, this is why. And you're always gonna be, you have to learn how to deal with these people. That is the mark of a real Chiefs too. So Aisha is like, She's like, Kaylee telling me this makes me feel like Jenna said something to Kaylee, which I don't love one day into the charter season. Which, by the way, what's even more sly about this is that Jen never said anything to Kaylee. It was that other, I keep forgetting the third one's name. Kat. Kat was the one who did this. So Kat is the real disruptor here. And she's loving it, by the way. Yeah, but Jen is being so mean to, she's being so mean to Kaylee.

29:50So Kaylee knows what she's up to.

29:52Ben Mandelker: yeah well well jen thinks she has an ally in cat they probably both think they have an ally in cat and cat's out for no one she's just out for herself and entertainment for the mess she's just gonna she's like i don't care i'm just happy that i'm not going to law school so asia's like what i would love to see is everyone just trying to be the best wherever they are oh yeah um yeah so funny so now we have uh jen and uh and kaylee at the service bar it's at the end of the night and kaylee is like so what are we pulling for brekkie and jen's like um if you could just continue to do that i just want to start on the pantries and i because i've got like a lot of shit to do because apparently i have to now clean up where the shot glasses used to be because you moved them that's fine that's fine and jen goes i don't fucking do breakfast okay he's like god stopping so grumpy girl so we get you'd be grumpy too if the if the placemats were shoved everywhere except for the places where the shot glasses used to be oh and um so coop calls the person we all know he's gonna call his meemaw and she's like are you working hard And he's like, I'm working my butt off.

31:06I'm going to wash tonight until 5 a.m. It's terrifying, Grandma. There's something called land and there's something called water. How do boats float?

31:17Ben Mandelker: So then the guests come over and they're like, oh, my God. Hi. We love Cooper. We love your grandson. She's like, I love him, too. Anyway, an alligator is gnawing off my foot, so I got to get off the fan. But good luck to you, Cooper. Talk to you tomorrow. I told you to empty that pool before you left, boy.

31:39Ben Mandelker: Then Nathan talks to Joy and he says, hi, Joy. Do you want to see my baby boy? She's like, oh, look, he's fat like daddy. Nathan's like, hey. What does that mean? She's fat like daddy. But he's very cute. Fucking French people, I swear. Yeah, well, that's what you get, Nathan, for boring everyone with your baby. I know. We don't all want to see your baby. I'm sorry. Put it away. Okay. Jeez. It's going to be all season. You know what? Yeah. So then we go to the bridge with Asha. You know, there's this thing on my car. Whenever I get out of the car, it goes beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep.

32:18I'm like, what the fuck? Every single time I'm looking around, I'm like, what did I leave open? Is there a door open? You know, I used to check the doors. Every single time. Finally, I looked it up. Why does my car go beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep? every time I leave and it says it's a warning for people who leave their babies in the car yep Mike you know what seriously now I have to deal with this because you guys left your baby

32:40Ben Mandelker: in the car come on mine does that my Kia has a feature where like if before you get into the car and turn it on if you open up the back door it sort of was like oh you're opening up the back door are you perhaps putting a child back there so then when you get into your car and you drive somewhere and then you park when you get out it's like I remember that you open up that back door so it will give like a check the rear seat you know but it does the same thing it goes like i'm like you know what how about this why don't we just rather than these like cryptic beeps why don't we just have like countess luann be like check the back seat bitch you know like just tell us what you want us to do don't leave your baby in the back idiot there's no business my show Did you leave the baby back there?

33:27Ben Mandelker: Not really. You left your coffee on top of the car, moron. Now there's one we could all understand. Don't leave the baby back there, but if Ramona's there, just let her rot. I'll break it down. Beep. You're not pooping. You left the seat heater on. Whoa. You left someone that looks older than me in the backseat. Baby, okay? I look young. Whoa, you know what? This is a notification to let you know your baby looks old, I look young. Your baby looks old, I look young, okay? Hey, you better back it up. You better back it up to the back door and get your baby out of there, okay? Clip, clip. So I love that Joy disses Nathan, calls him fat.

34:17So then we go to bridge with Aisha and Sandy, and she's like, wow, last night was epic. I dreamt I met a mermaid. She was so nice. I hugged her. Then my shirt got dirty. God damn it.

34:30Ben Mandelker: That was real! It was a cake! I can't believe how well Charter One went! I know, what's in your wallet? No, Charter One, not Capital One. Sorry, I got 2 % back from my Wells Fargo cashback card. I bought you a donut. We're not on top shift, Sandy-o. She really does need her sleep. Cooper, please stop waking her up. This recap is going to be 10 hours Anything to put off the McBees Anything So got to talk about the McBees Okay here's the McBees in two seconds My daddy's innocent He didn't do nothing We're gonna We're gonna Go down from having a million acres To like 990 ,000 acres Uh oh Commercials.

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37:27Ben Mandelker: ForHers.com slash crappens. Weight loss by HERS is not available in all 50 states. WGOVI is a registered trademark of Novo Nordisk AS. To get started and learn more, including important safety information, WGOVI clinical study information and restrictions, visit ForHers.com. Okay, so Aisha and Kaylee Kaylee's asking how the night was Or no, Aisha's asking how the night was And Kaylee says it's good, you know I mean, I'm just not sure I'm responding well To the way that someone's coaching, I guess Oh, I shouldn't say anything God, why am I talking about this with you? You're so important You've got so many things to do Wait a minute Who are you talking about that's trying to coach you?

38:08Ben Mandelker: Don't worry about it All sorted out because look at me taking initiative and being proactive and not bothering you with any information. Just letting you know that there is a problem and I'm solving it. Okay, I'm like Vanilla Ice. You got a problem, yo, I'll solve it. Check out the beat while I decorate the cake. So it's just like... You can be Vanilla Ice and Vanilla Ice-ing at the same time. You're president, president of the country, I'm telling you. Hey, Ish, that was a good pun. Thank you, Sandy. so Nathan's like Aisha's gonna be up here with you Aisha's gonna be on the bow because she's gonna help with the docking so uh guess what they're gonna dock soon and hopefully they won't crash for the umpteenth time I'm gonna say about so basically they come in and Sandy's like having Aisha on the bow frees up a deckhand so Nathan doesn't have to worry about handling lines he can stay focused on communicating with me alright so let's see Nathan what is the distance?

39:07Ben Mandelker: uh the distance is Have you seen this picture of my baby? Nathan, that's not helpful right now. We're not measuring in Fatmas, okay? Nathan, whatever you do, don't touch the line. Stay focused. Okay, I won't touch the line, but I will touch this baby photo. Look at it. No, Nathan, not now. Not now. Listen, I gave you Aisha to help you. Yeah, but all Aisha's doing is standing on the bar, waving at the anchor. Hello, anchor. I miss you so much. You look so good. Oh, listen, there's a lot of wind. They're running a marathon, okay? We need to get tied off. This fucking wind's crazy. Watch out. Oh, my God.

39:51Ben Mandelker: This marina has so much crosswind. Oh, God, it's pushing me in starboard, which means that I'm going to have to secure the vessel as quick as we can get into the dock. Like, we're going to throttle up. Otherwise, we're going to sink. We're going to die. We're going to die right now. And the boat is, like, the boat is fully, like, like up on another boat like you're this is bad yeah they have to put out the squishy thingies what do they call and they're squeezing the fenders oh my gosh and they crash into the other boat call it what it is okay they have they have the fenders or whatever in between them but it's like the people on the other boat are like what the fuck get away what are you guys doing yeah three so number three the guest says we're gonna titanic this bitch you don't want your guest to say that okay no especially these girls because they're immediately hanging off the belt like i'll never leave you joe or whatever that guy's name was well and joe joe had some suggestion in this in the middle of all this mess that was probably a good suggestion i hate to say and he's like, I'm worried.

40:55Ben Mandelker: If we're going to have to talk like this, what's the next six weeks look like? Oh, no. So Nathan is like, I feel, I do feel a bit of judgment from Joe when things don't go, you know, the way that they should. I'm like, it's any consolation. You've crashed for the third time in two episodes. If it's any consolation, you're getting judgment from everyone. Not just Joe. Yeah. Yeah, I feel so much judgment. It could be, and Joe's like, well, it could be that he just had a baby and his mindset is elsewhere, but regardless it just crashed the boat and this stalking was really bad are you fit for this position it's official the baby crashed this boat he's like maybe because he had the baby so sandy is like okay nathan we're gonna debrief okay that was better communication we crashed but we crashed more slowly that was really a good improvement okay don't worry one of these days will dock without hitting anything else.

41:48I'll just hire five more interiors that can also stand outside with you to make sure that you're not crashing the boat.

41:58Ben Mandelker: So Kat is enjoying the showgirls headpieces and everything. And she's like, oh my God, I can't be sexy like them. I mean, I dance like those things at the car dealership. You know, and then they show one of those by her side, which I thought was funny. and it was very Kristen Doty coded. I was going to say they just put up a clip of Kristen Doty at a disco. So the guests leave. No comment cards on this iteration of Blow Deck. So they just leave and are like, the food was amazing and we just want to take you back with us. Have you? Captain Sandy, would you be comfortable wearing a sequined dress that has the butt cut out in the shape of a heart?

42:38Ben Mandelker: Because we can offer that for you. Why do you guys keep saying that to everybody? Well, we're just used to people saying that after we serve. Can I take you home with me? No, sorry. That's extra. So Sandy's like, okay, first of all, thank you so much for your great attitudes. We have crashed three boats in two days and everyone's still smiling. God, love you guys. Basically, I don't want to call that last one a crash. We hugged the other boat. We hugged it. Brought it in close. Yeah. I just like to pretend it was me hugging BB and little bear. Okay. Every one of you did a fantastic job. Okay. So we got a tip and our tip was$25 ,000.

43:18Ben Mandelker: Unfortunately, all the cash has a heart cut out in the middle of it. So it will not be valid at any bank. Every dollar bill in here smells like a bet, but you know what? Still spends the same. So get on your rubber gloves and get ready to get counted out. And Cooper's like, you know, I'm not the only thing that's green on this boat. there is also money so then uh gail is um asking if she wants to uh take uh gail i'm sorry gail is texting nathan to see if she can to bring uh kate in on board he's like yes so that's very exciting and nathan then is telling everyone nathan's telling asia like gail and kate in her comment she's like hey you ready to see oh sorry i'm sorry gail because you ready to see daddy so here comes the baby and here comes the baby tour so here comes gail with the baby and everyone like looking at the baby like oh look at the baby

44:22yeah it's a lot of baby excitement she's very excited to see their love story unfold because every love story and yachting ends with heartbreak and this is just the most beautiful anomaly ever. I don't think that lasts. You have a time. So then, which, you know, I would never really wish on No, we're not wishing it. He really fucked up, this guy. So then Gail Nathan Sandy on the bridge. Gail's like, we've got a new wager for you. Well, God, he's got to dock the boat better than this knucklehead. Am I right? Just get an actual uniform on this baby. You're hired.

44:59Ben Mandelker: yeah Nathan's like he's gonna be my new lead deckhand so uh there's a lot of like oh my god babies this is so cute babies babies babies and uh Sandy's like in my career there have been three people who have married and had children I mean maybe I'm I'm a Cupid captain maybe to be fair one of them was a Somali pirate so they we did outrun them but we left them with a trail of romance what can i say i'm a matchmaker you want to drive the boat little baby drive the boat drive the boat so nathan gets to go stay with his baby for the night which i don't listen congrats on having a baby you still need to work on this boat we need the drama on this boat we're gonna do have joe go fight with you at around a crib at gail's apartment no truly so So then we have this awkward moment because you like every other father on this boat and abandon your goddamn baby for the boat.

45:56Send him to Fort Lauderdale.

45:58Ben Mandelker: Yeah, that's where all the below deck children are. So they have this awkward moment because Gail and Nathan are walking along on the deck and then Joe comes like they intersect with Joe. And then Joe is like has that frozen smile that he does where his like eyebrows are like touching his for like the top of his hair. It's like, hey, look, is this the baby? Hello. Hello. And he's like, I don't know what to say. I don't know what to do. I don't like Gail. I don't know how to talk to babies. How long do I have to pretend like I care about this before I can turn around and get out of here? Yeah. He's like, whoa, me wee little man.

46:31Hello there. Fucking hell. Get me out of here. Truth. And Gail's like, he looks just like his dada, doesn't he? Yes. Got the same hair and everything. Oh, burn. Oh, burn. Yes. Both are fat.

46:43Ben Mandelker: Hey, why do people keep saying that?

46:52So, meanwhile, Kat and Jen are making beds, and Jen's like, oh my god, Luke is so sexy. And Kat's like, do you think anything's gonna happen tonight? She's like, no. Oh god, as much as I want to get laid, sex is always better when you kind of have a little chase. You know what I mean? He better not be put back incorrectly by the end of the night, though, I'll tell you that.

47:14Ben Mandelker: Kat's like, well, I'm not talking about sex. I mean, you can also kiss. I mean, do you think like, do you immediately think I'm talking about sex? And she's like, yeah. I was like, oh my God, I'm like such a school girl, like sexy. Jen's like, get out of here. So Joe gets a text from his sister and it's kind of, and the sister says, go check your voice memos. And so he gets a message from his mom that she got the results from a mammogram and she has cancer. And so terrible. This is so sad. This is so sad. Well, I mean, look, we hope all for the best. Hopefully it's not a sad moment. But like we all can imagine, like getting this news is like very scary.

47:53Ben Mandelker: And so now we see Joe receiving this news in real time, which is like really heartbreaking. And he has to go off the dock, go off to the dock. And yes, he's getting used to being with his mom. He's crying and stuff. So even Nathan's really nice to him. Nathan's like, OK, you know, I'll put aside this stuff and be nice to him. and he has a nice conversation with his mom, you know, and she's like, you go out there and you stay on this boat because he's saying, I'll leave, I'll leave. So then Sandy gets, she's like, give me that phone. Hi, Pam, it's me, Captain Sandy. You're welcome. Okay, back to work.

48:30Got some Sandy. Yeah. Got some Sandy. Actually, Sandy's really nice and she knows somebody who heads up the breast cancer division at a big hospital. So she's going to hook them up and stuff.

48:42Ben Mandelker: yeah she was really she does sandy is that was really good at seeing it because basically she gets this like yeah like this head of department for like johns hopkins to talk to joe's mom to be like look it's very scary but early detection is really good and like they're like the the recovery rates are extremely high and like sometimes that's probably all you really want to hear in that moment but it's a very emotional thing and it was nice to see nathan um drop his like the the bee in his bonnet for that moment and just be there for joe and uh it was it was very it was like it was it was it was very heavy and so it was very and very scary yeah so now i mean i don't yeah so now they're um and also let's see how long this lasts with nathan he's like i'll get on the break for this five minutes of time it literally doesn't even make it to the end of the episode before i I completely rail on him for no reason in about five minutes.

49:40So now everybody's getting ready to go out and, you know, getting all dressed up and stuff. And Luke is talking to Cooper and he's like, I think we all need to say who's going to be going for who. Cooper's like, I think you're saying that because you have a target. Because I didn't realize I like girl until we got a target too. I mean, that's the fanciest place in town. you never seen so many girls dressed up and ready to go you ever tried the threshold brand

50:10Ben Mandelker: what about up and up wow so then they get into their vans and um luke is sitting between jen and joy and so jen has her eye on luke joy and luke have a flirtation too and um he's just sort of eating this all up and he's like i'm loving cheating to joy and jen and jen's sweet and she's smart and ambitious and joy she's got a lot of depth to her she feeds the mistake saying that's important for me listen don't even first of all obviously you don't know jen to be like wow jen's so sweet um and second don't fuck with the person you're getting the calories from how dare you no don't make this like some toss-up this is literally what happened with culver on blow duck down under where he was flirting with zarina to get free food but then he wound up hooking up with that other girl and serena was like your access to free food is now closed yep like pretty much i forgot that we've had this storyline before yes yeah exactly don't yeah don't mess it up don't mess it up so um cooper raises a glass to kaden and karen who are the baby and the mother respectively and um everyone's like oh that was a nice toast so joe's like yeah it was he's telling cat it was crazy on deck today i've known nathan for two years and seeing him today with his child and bringing gail and me and gail don't really get along but i just went god what the fuck is life you know it's crazy seeing him with this woman and this baby suddenly and nathan's like he's joking about gail i'm gonna kill him yeah because all he heard was like i don't get along with gail so he thinks he's actually ragging on gail i guess technically like very lightly he doesn't he didn't have to add that detail but it's like really not that big of a deal and nathan is now like furious and it's just so funny because joe is also saying what's amazing is that you know after i got this news it's like all that stuff all the petty shit just went right out the window nathan's like not so fast i went outside picked it all up and brought it back inside yeah it's like fuck this guy nathan's like don't fuck with the peaky blinders like calm down you've watched too much tv What are you going to beat somebody up?

52:20You're at work. So Nathan runs off to the bathroom to get himself together. And Joe follows him and asks if everything's okay. And he's like, I'm a bit pissed off at you, though. I heard you say Gail's name and that you don't get along. And I'm fucking pissed. I'm pissed. If I hear it one more time, we're going to fall out big time.

52:39Ben Mandelker: He's like, but I didn't say anything. I didn't say anything to him. It's like, badmouth her to me. Grow a pair of fucking balls, will you? And be a fucking man about it. and they're like fully having like a fight i'm like bro like let's calm down like i like that you're defending your lady but you're also jumping to conclusions and also like i'm never going to defend joe but he just got the worst news of his life about two hours ago can you just like just relax just just focus on your food and showing your baby photos around yeah so everybody's basically watching this and um cat's like they're like probably kissing in the bathroom and coover's It's like, uh-uh, they're right there having their own little talk.

53:18Look at that. And it's like, oh, my God, they're fighting. And Nathan's like, keep her name out of your fucking mouth. I don't want you to infiltrate every single person sitting at the table for her.

53:30Ben Mandelker: It's like, I would never do that. It's like, but you had to do that. Gail's the best fucking person I've ever met in my life. Do you know what it's like to ghost someone like that? It's thrilling. So don't mess it up for me. She was the sweetest ghost I've ever created.

53:46Ben Mandelker: And if you fucking talk around a table, I don't want to fucking hear it. I don't want to fucking hear it. I don't want to fucking hear it. I don't want to fucking hear it. All right. Okay. Okay. Nathan, you've already crashed three times. This is your fourth time in two episodes. Don't make us take Joe's side, please. Heck of you. Yeah. That's what Bravo does though. They're like, well, surprise. You're on a completely different side now. Have fun. Yeah, seriously. Well, that's where the episode ends. Good times. Thanks everyone for being here. And we'll see how this, this curdled bromance goes.

54:21Ben Mandelker: We'll catch you in the next episode. Talk to you all later. Bye everyone. Watch what crappens would like to thank its premium sponsors. She answered the call. It's Adia Paul. Ain't no thing like Alison King. Our way is the Amber way. It's the foster and the furious. It's Amanda Foster. It's always automatic with Ashley auto. Put your hands together for Carly clap. Get on the right foot with Chrissy Offutt. She's not just a Sheila, she's a Daniela. Itchles! We never miss her call, it's Diane Call. Sunday in the Park with... Dylan Clark. Big yay, it's Emily Gauthier. Erin McNicholas, she don't miss no trick-a-less.

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55:52Ben Mandelker: Darn Skippy, it's Tippi. And our super premium sponsors. She's VVIP, it's Amanda V. Somebody get us 10 cc's of Betsy MD. We're taking the gold with Brenda Silva. Let's get real with Caitlin O 'Neill. Put us on a stretcher. It's Charlotte Fletcher. Hogle your horses, it's Christine Hogle Don't get salty with Christine Pepper Can't have a meal without the Emily Sides Who, what, why, where, and Gwen Pentland Nobody holds a candle to Jamie Kendall We got our wish, it's Jen Plish Have a kebab with K-Rob My favorite Murdo, Karen McMurdo Let's get savage with Laura Wildman In the study with a candlestick, it's Leslie Peacock We're ride or die for Lisa Ryder Barron She's a whiz, it's Liz Sarthy Always killing it, it's Lola Alkalani Roger that, it's Marlis Rogers The incredible edible Matthews sisters She eases our woes, it's Melissa St.

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