#3461 RHOA S17E15: Rest in Peach

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1:26Ben Mandelker: And for the grown-ups, Ollie's sleep helps you fall asleep, stay asleep, and wake up feeling refreshed.

1:32Ronnie Karam: Because as you know, the morning mayhem comes early.

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2:07Ben Mandelker: What happens when there's so much that happens? Well, hello, and welcome to the... almost said the Real Housewives of Atlanta, but to watch What Crap Is, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to watch, including and primarily the Real Housewives of Atlanta today. I'm Ben Mandelker, and joining me today in a beautiful, is it a dark green shirt or is it a slate gray shirt? One can never know.

2:35Ronnie Karam: It's a slate gray shirt that says Atari.

2:37Ben Mandelker: Whoa, it's Mr. Ronnie Karam. What an exciting time. Hi, Ben. Hi. I love your support of a legacy brand. So it's like you're in Blade Runner. How are you doing today, Ronnie? I'm good. What's going on with you over there, baby? I'm great. I had a nice little weekend. I feel refreshed. Dom and I went down to Laguna Beach for the night on Friday, just for the fun of it, which was great. I was like, you know, Orange County is back. It's back. Got to go check in on Orange County itself, see how it's doing, see if everyone's okay down there. And it was a lovely time. And everybody was okay. uh yes we actually so we actually ate at amar santana's restaurant in laguna beach you know do you remember amar amar he went to morocco once uh he was he went he got very far in his first season which i think was top chef california and then he came back he's been back like once or twice uh i love so yeah we love amar we love amar uh didn't love his restaurant i will say that though i have to say oh it was i'm just saying this to let i this is a public service announcement because apparently this is what i do on mondays now is that i i announced the mediocre food experiences i had over the weekend but it was definitely better than the fry fest so there's that but um yeah i was like so excited for like this like finally tasting a mars cooking and it was like it was it was some stuff was very good i'm not gonna lie there were two things that were like really very very good but the rest was kind of like oh and every time i have a bad i eat a bad meal down in orange county i always think of heather dubrow and like her first or second season saying there's no good food in orange county so we're gonna start a restaurant yes the heather

4:27Ronnie Karam: dubrow restaurant and then she got ripped apart in the orange county register whatever and they're I'm like, how dare you? You're an outsider. You're coming in here telling us our Qdobo sucks. Well, I believe that the Javier's is wonderful. And let me see you there. Well, you have me terrified about this parasite thing that's going around. Because last week you were like, you can't eat any vegetables. And everybody's getting this parasite in LA because of vegetables. And that's normally, you know, I'm a salad person. That's what I make for the week. I'll have like a salad every day. Not now. Now I'm just eating avocado sandwiches with some cheese on there and then candy.

5:10Ronnie Karam: So I'm going to have diabetes because of this stupid thing that's around. But then whenever I go to the grocery store, everybody else is eating all the vegetables. They don't seem to care.

5:19Ben Mandelker: I did have a salad at a Mars restaurant. I had a salad.

5:22Ronnie Karam: That was very mediocre. I even got something delivered. I got a salmon thing from Uber Eats, and it was on a bed of lettuce. And I was like, no. But I risked it.

5:33Ben Mandelker: Risked it. I didn't risk it. I risked it. If you have to go running away, we'll understand. Well, I mean, but luckily now it's been kind of more, they've isolated where the issues have come from. Although Whole Foods, apparently, I had read somewhere. I don't know. Was it Whole Foods? I don't know. Whatever. The point is, you're alive. And there's no parasites going to take you down, Ronnie.

5:56Ronnie Karam: Yeah, I made it. So I think I'm going to go eat some vegetables today. Lord knows I need them. So today is Real Housewives of Atlanta. If you want this recap on video, go get it. It's on Patreon. We do videos every day. You can also get them free a week later on YouTube. Did you already say that? No, I haven't. The parasite got to my brain. The tiny bit of lettuce under salmon parasite got me. We'll be doing Amazon Live today about home improvement, which, wow, I'm a disaster in that area, which we'll talk about. Stay on Amazon Live. Next week is crappy hour at 530 Pacific. If you want Amazon live links or anything like that, all the stuff we're telling you about is in our link in bio on Instagram.

6:39Ronnie Karam: Okay. Today, it's Real Housewives of Atlanta, season 17, episode 15, Waking the Dead. Yeah.

6:48Ben Mandelker: Yeah. Waking the Dead. We're still in Scotland. And we just had this big fight where Shamia was like, why don't you want to bring Pilar around my household? by the way, your mom tried to sleep with my dad. And then when Portia countered, Shamia's like, I've had enough. This is crazy. I'm not going to stand for this anymore. So she ran out and nearly knocked over a vase in the process. So now we're in the van with Kelly and Shamia. And Kelly's telling us, after dinner, I think it was a great idea to separate Shamia from Portia. Everybody is not on one accord. Shamia is hysterical. Portia is crazy.

7:28Ben Mandelker: We're in another country. I just don't want any issues. Which is funny because then in like about five minutes she's like, girl, we gotta go back to the club and meet up with the other girls. I'm like, so what happened to separating Shamia and Portia? Also, Shamia's the one who left. So don't act like you separated them. That's fine. Okay, I'm coming in hot for Kelly right off of her first line.

7:49Ronnie Karam: Well, Kelly didn't, well, I mean Shamia's the one who walked off. right kelly just i know but i feel like well i guess i maybe i'm misreading this because kelly

7:58Ben Mandelker: is like i think it was a great idea to separate shimmy and portia and in my mind i'm thinking oh like she's taking credit for separating them and i'm like you didn't separate them but now i'm just saying in general she supports the idea so i will pull back i came in hot on kelly because i wanted to feel something and um you sound like me just getting mad to feel things yeah i'm like sometimes you just want to get mad at someone yeah uh this is the i mean this is the very first line of recap of the entire week this is going to set the tone of our entire week and um you know and that's why let's just start in this place let's get ready to start telling people off all week long because we know it's going to start it's starting with this and then it's going to move to game of thrones I've got some people to tell off.

8:45And then, you know, Below Deck, there's a lot of people to tell off on Below Deck.

8:52Ben Mandelker: I haven't even watched Big B yet, but I already know I'll be mad. So, like, let's get the juices flowing. Let's get them ready.

9:01Ronnie Karam: So they're in the car, and now they go to the Airbnb, and Shamia's crying. And Kelly's like, don't let them steal your shine. No one stole her shine. She started it. i'm sorry i've said that like 90 times between like probably the whole season but you started it what are you crying about and to me it's like i just shut down it's just easier to walk away for me because you started a fight why are you starting it i mean porsche has been so trained by now over the years after being paused on the show for getting physical and then i mean multiple times where Portia has gone way too far and gotten in trouble.

9:41Ronnie Karam: We know what that looks like. And this wasn't really it until you pushed, pushed, pushed, pushed, pushed. So please with the crying. And she's like, oh, yeah, I'm just always careful for other people's feelings, even though it hurts my feelings.

9:56Ben Mandelker: You're very careful. Okay. I mean, there's nothing about Shamia this season about her walking into the coffee shop to meet Angela and be like, and saying to the hostess um is there someone who looks like sasquatch who's in here that says i'm always careful of other people's feelings uh yeah it's not also the thing is with porsche is if you come with come at her with something even if shamia was completely correct even if like it is what happened was true porsche is always going to clap back with some she's going to clap back with something similar she does a she's a ur fighter like she just did it to kelly earlier this season when Kelly was like, you know, Portia sleeps with married men.

10:37Ben Mandelker: Then Portia was like, well, you slept with a married man. You slept with a preacher. In fact, off of an airplane. Like she just, like, we don't know if it's true or not, but she just does it. So like, you have to know Portia well enough that if you say your dad, your mom is trying to sleep with my dad, she's gonna be like, well, your mom tried to sleep with someone, someone else. Like it's just,

10:55Ronnie Karam: your mom did sleep with your, with her brother-in-law. This is what she said, which I loved. And see, here's the thing that you are a fighter. to me is like shamia because you'll say like you suck you suck well your mom's you know you know probably not not the mom but anything you say she just goes you are porsche's a um a you are plus fighter like she adds information she doesn't just say you are you know what i mean like room yeah because you are i think is the weakest way to fight where you're just like you are it's like a little kid you know and shimia fights like that but um porsche porsche was like a school of improv fighter it's like yes and you know she's like yes no and she will give you an addition like okay i don't care if my mom did that but your mom didn't just flirt with somebody he fucked somebody and it was your brother-in-law you know so it takes it to a different it keeps it interesting at least so i'll give porsche credit for that it's almost like it's almost like shimia is a

11:55Ben Mandelker: you are fighter and Porsche is a, you actually are fighter. It's like your mom, your mom wants to sleep with my dad. Well, your mom actually slept with your uncle. It's like, Oh, it's like Kelly, you sleep with married men. Well, you actually slept with the married preacher. So she does kind of like do that. Yes. Anding like, and this is what, what else I brought to the, to the dinner party kind of, but that's an improv exercise, right? We all brought something to the dinner party.

12:23Ronnie Karam: yeah right or no literally everything my improv yeah one of them's like throw a ball and then you catch the ball and you change the ball and you throw the the other kind of ball and everybody has to focus on what kind of ball is being thrown yeah anything can be a an improv game um but i also want to get into preaching in atlanta because i've never heard of this many preachers getting laid i mean usually it's like once in a while you hear of a preacher doing something bad especially like a conservative you know like super bible button or bible what am i trying to say bible beating something guy yeah you'll hear of them in um affairs or something like that but this is the second preacher of the season because we had kelly's and then porsche came on instagram i was like oh really shimmy you fucked a preacher from somewhere and also you fucked your manager so that's the thing that's going around this week and i was like wow these preachers are really getting some ass they're in the wrong i'm in the wrong profession i mean i preach all day but it's just a bunch of bullshit maybe i should just switch my subject and start getting some yeah i was about

13:37Ben Mandelker: to say um then don't forget prophet lock um as well as many others and also let's not forget um Sorry, Prophet Lott. You're right. Prophet Lott. And of course, Jamal Bryant, who is our original preacher on Bravo, who got around. Yeah. As well as many others. But yeah, you're right. I think that just in general, like preachers, just in general, preachers just get a lot of ass because they're in a position of power. people want to bring a preacher yeah and they make it's exciting I guess and also like I don't know I feel like there's like a storied history of religious figures people who are high up in the clergy who have also been like haven't have not always lived up to the word that they preach I think that's sort of a thing that happens hypocrite hypocrite yeah yeah it just sort of happens in the clergy sometimes yeah but these

14:43Ronnie Karam: hypocrites have so much fun on this show it's fun hypocrisy yeah it seems like such a fun life so um shimmy is like she'll never meet another friend like me okay is this aladdin i was about

14:56Ben Mandelker: to say that. Okay, Genie. She'll be just like, wah, wah, wah. Wah, wah, wah.

15:07Ronnie Karam: Shamaradi had them 40, wait, what was it? Who had 40 thieves? No, no, I had them 40 thieves. Shamaradi had a thousand tales. Master, if you're in luck, cause up my sleeve, I've got a brand of magic never fails.

15:21Ben Mandelker: Yes. Mr. Aladdin, sir. Is that how it goes? Mr. Aladdin, sir, have a wish or two or three

15:29Ronnie Karam: the number, write it down you ain't never had a friend like me so then we go back to the other ladies and they're getting glammed up for Phaedra's birthday party, what were you gonna say?

15:41Ben Mandelker: if you actually really listen to that song, I'm not gonna help with the length of this podcast today, but if you do actually listen to that song it does sort of sound like Portia doing that part like wah wah wah it's like literally porsche listen to it okay go on um scotland yeah everybody's getting ready

16:02Ronnie Karam: for phaedra's party they don't really make scotland look that fun when we go to a cemetery today they looked at some tartans the other day which i mean i guess that would that you would think that you know you said you thought that that looked super fun like you wanted to go to a tartan store but i'm just saying it's not something i see being on the tourism guide Like, whoa, some fun things to do. It's like there's no theme parks, nothing like that. It's just like a plaid store and a cemetery.

16:29Ben Mandelker: I literally watched it and I was like, I think I want to go to Scotland now. I really did. Like, I love a graveyard tour. Like the Cemetery of Père Lachaise in Paris was amazing. I just thought it looked moody and cool. I forgot to mention, Ronnie, you were talking before the show about what we did this weekend. And I started watching Traitors UK season four with the regular people. Loved it. Oh, you're not loving it. Do you like it so far? Of course. And I'm only two episodes in. I actually stopped myself. I was like, if I don't stop myself, I'm going to just stay up until four in the morning.

17:05Ben Mandelker: Yeah. But Claudia Winkle is Winkleman. Winkleman. The traitors are laughing at you.

17:15Ronnie Karam: I am disgusted. when she like starts getting teary she's like the traders are laughing at you

17:25Ben Mandelker: it's so good i just love the traders formula just holds up but it's so moody and so scottish i was like wow scotland's really having a moment in our pop culture right now

17:36Ronnie Karam: yeah they really are um so people are getting ready for the night and pinky is like i'm sick of all this drama we need to have fun let's go party so now they do and they go to a club named coco and portia tells us it's the hottest club in scotland and you know dinner was crazy but we're

17:55Ben Mandelker: just gonna celebrate fey fey's birthday so let's do it this looked so fun actually they were just in a club everyone was like partying i just like i was like oh man i haven't gone like gone out and danced hard at like a club in years and i think my window for doing that is closed not because i don't want to do it because then if i were to do it i'm like oh there's that there's that strange 47 year old guy just flopping around on the dance floor but um they looked like they were having so much fun and k michelle got like she like caught onto the microphone and she became like the mc for the night and she was like singing and then she was like bringing people up on the stage like this was definitely k michelle's ministry i feel like she seemed so happy like that That was like, that's what she liked doing was just being on a mic and just like sort of curating the evening and the club.

18:46Ronnie Karam: But at what point do we complain about getting to feel attacked by bringing one person up at a time to sing their own music? No, thank you. That's too much. You know, this is a club. Why are you making me listen to like six Housewives songs in a row? Because first she sang hers and then she brought up someone else and then they sang hers. She brought up someone else and they sang theirs. And it's not like they have the karaoke tracks. So they're singing over the voice on the track, which is, you know, obviously auto-tuned like every voice is now on radio. So you have them kind of screeching their songs next to the perfectly auto-tuned version.

19:29Ronnie Karam: And it's just, it's a mind fuck. And I'm at a club. I paid a cover. No. put on regular you know put on like regular things i don't have to hear people sing over

19:39Ben Mandelker: i would have loved it first of all k michelle she has a voice so she obviously she sounded great and like the snippet we heard of her she was like you know so like her singing along to her track that's i'm all for that and then we well what happened was we sort of had like a um we had what do you call it? Decreasing returns. Then we have Drew. Drew can sing. We saw her sing the national anthem. She can sing. It's getting just more and more into we have Drew, then we have Portia, then we have Shamia. Portia can sing. She can't sing too well, but she can sing. Shamia, I think, can sing better than Portia.

20:21Ben Mandelker: We just started to get lower and lower. Professional singer without album like record deals performs at award shows to then all the way down to shimmy like trying to break out of her husband's rhode island hvac you know yeah well actually shimmy wasn't last i don't

20:43Ronnie Karam: think i think that shimmy came late because one of shimmy's moves when she's trying to be dramatic is to come really late and then make an entrance and she did it in the beginning of the season at porsche's party where porsche was having the couple's party and then they're like is shimmy even coming is she me even coming while i invited shamiya and then porsche is giving a speech and in walks shamiya you know with where you're from and she's like i'm gonna you know i'm upset with porsche or whatever you know trying to get as much drama as she can which is fine i mean it's a housewife show but it was her look back from season her first season when porsche showed up late while shamiya was getting her car yes you're always getting you're always getting back for the first thing, right?

21:25Ronnie Karam: But Portia just kind of walked down the driveway. She wasn't like, hello. She was like, oh, what's happening? Are you getting a car? She was gifting herself a car. So yeah, and now she's doing it here at this club and she comes in with friends and she's like dancing as big as possible. And like the sea of people is parting for her. And everyone's like, Jesus, why does she need, you know, why does she need to make such an entrance? And Angela is saying what is happening you just said this girl's mother tried to sleep with your father and now

21:54Ben Mandelker: you're going to come dance in her face yeah i think this is um this was like weird i thought that shumia came back because she leaves the restaurant she's crying they go back to well i thought they went back to the castle but i guess who knows where they went back to they went somewhere where i think almost like were they staying at a hotel in town because before they even went to the club we saw everyone like getting changed and i was like wait did you go back to the castle but i think they must have had like an overnight in that in in a hotel so they she goes back she's crying and she's telling kelly like you don't have to stay here with me you don't it just makes me so sad but and kelly's like you know look we gotta like go party like well come on like we gotta turn up so they go back but i think it's just it's weird to come back in like hey party time when you've just like left in a in like a blaze of tears can you have a blaze of tears i'm not sure but you know you left in like out of sorts and you were upset and so to come back like all i party almost like you're working at republic which i don't know did you see the rumors about um southern hospitality by the way that were going around this weekend yeah a lot of

23:08Ronnie Karam: southern hospitality may not be back um but there was fighting between tj and leva yeah tj made a post like i've always been under someone's hot dog umbrella and i realized i don't need that i can do it alone and people like whoa is he dissing leva in this and then leva put up a post that was something like sometimes people are assholes and i don't care let assholes be assholes this is not a quote this is just from a basic and then everyone got on leva like how dare you why are you coming for tj about man and i she's like i'm not guys that wasn't even about tj or joe so then people are like oh my god tj and joe are both fired from southern hospital and then a rumor came out that they're going to redo southern hospitality i guess without leva that thing's crazy how do you how do you do that unless you change restaurants i mean the ratings on that show weren't very good So maybe they just figured, huh, let's just start with a new place.

24:06Ronnie Karam: Let's go to Craig and, you know, Austin's place or whatever. By the way. No, they could do that.

24:12Ben Mandelker: By the way. No one said that. That's just my working theory. That just seems crazy. How do you? Well, I guess we'll find out. I didn't mean to turn it. I didn't mean to bring Southern hospitality into this, but it was a rumor that was going around. So I thought I'd share.

24:30Ronnie Karam: It's time for a commercial. It's time for a Crappens commercial

24:36Ben Mandelker: Your space should feel like you and if it doesn't, that's probably not a taste problem it's a budget problem and Wayfair really can fix that What did your space look like before Wayfair, Ronnie? What were you most excited to change or refresh about your current space? Because I'll tell you one thing this office that I record out of it was just a generic office four walls and a little green carpet and then I went to Wayfair and I got two comfy chairs and I've put them right behind this desk with some microphones and boom, I now have a recording studio and I'm so excited to use it.

25:06Ronnie Karam: Oh yeah. I mean, I got my rug in my office from Wayfair. I got my curtains from Wayfair. I got a couple of chairs. I got all my outdoor furniture from Wayfair. I love that place because it's also great to order things and have it put together. You know, you can have, you have the option with Wayfair that they just come, they deliver it, they put it together in the room that you want and boom, you're done. You're not messing around with the little, you know, tools and all of that stuff. So it's my jam, baby.

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26:22Ben Mandelker: Either way, Shamia comes in like she is Emmy holding up the sign that says, it's your birthday. And it just feels totally so strange. Yeah, it's like you want us all to feel like, I don't know why. I am not going to say to someone, hey, hey, you're crying on vacation. That means you have to stay crying the rest of the night. I definitely am like, hey, you know what? Go have a fun time. But there's something about entering like that that I'm just like, it's a weird not acknowledgement of the fact that you left in tears. It's almost like you should come back like, hey, guys, I decided to come back.

27:00Ben Mandelker: And the people said, we're so glad you're here. And then you can be like, yay. You know, like it's just weird to enter in with your hand above your head like, woohoo, Shamia's here. Let's get down. You know?

27:10Ronnie Karam: That's because in her mind and what she's trying to convince us is that she's the victim. Like she didn't start this whole thing. Portia started it with her. She made her leave crying. And now Shumi is going to come in like, you can't bother me by being mean to me. I'm going to, you know, I'm going to overcome this. And she's having kind of a hero's moment. But you were the one who started. And you're not the victim. So it comes off as a little crazy. And, you know, everyone's reaction is pretty much the same. They're like, why? What is she doing? And Portia is like, oh, hell no. This lady just talked about my mom.

27:44Ronnie Karam: I'm leaving. So she leaves with her glam team and everybody. So they make a big exit, you know?

27:51Ben Mandelker: Yeah. And it's not just her. Cynthia, Angela, and Drew and Phaedra also leave with Portia. They all are just like, we're out. No. This party got lame, basically.

28:04Ronnie Karam: And then Kay sees this. So she's like, and now Portia. Portia's going to sing her song. Where's Portia? Where is Portia? You're the only person within a mile radius who did not see Portia leave. I know. It's like the roadrunner. You know, there's like a cloud of dust following her.

28:23Ben Mandelker: It was a pretty huge exit. Okay, man. Jim Zolciak is just waiting behind the velvet rope to get into the club. Like, I think they're going to play my song next. We're going through all the Atlanta songs. Who's Riel got a blow for me to get in here?

28:39Ben Mandelker: So Angela and Drew are out on the sidewalk. And Drew is like, you just walk in? Like, what happened? Like, after what happened to someone and you just called your best friend over a decade? And Angela's like, like, nothing's wrong. She's like, like, I mean, if we haven't been friends for that long, but if I did something that offended you in that moment, I wouldn't come in with that energy. I would just be like, I just don't get it. Like, you know, like, Angela's like, yeah, be like, let's talk. So Drew is like, yeah, there are some things that just, like, shouldn't come out of your mouth. Like, we don't talk about mamas.

29:06Ben Mandelker: Shamia started this. And you really can't blame Pete for finishing it.

29:10Ronnie Karam: so inside um they're asking the people who remain are asking how shami is feeling and she's like well you know i mean last time i was around the group it was some pretty nasty work and so i left and then now i come back and everybody scatters i just don't get it why are they so mean to me and um j michelle says well i played everybody's song it's like yeah but it was my song they left

29:35Ben Mandelker: on well because there was no one else it was the last one oh that they left on i meant like that they left on the on the speakers like they didn't cut it off yeah gerald is just paying over time to have it played more and more yes that is what the one that they all departed during and um it's like yeah well they didn't leave because the song was playing they left because you were there and they just didn't want to deal with more bullshit and portia knows to just extricate herself from the situation much like you did just before and you were patting yourself on the back for it you're like i just the best thing for me to do right now is just to leave so portia does the same thing and she's like oh well now they're leaving because i'm here it's like she's doing she's having the exact same

30:16Ronnie Karam: response that you had two hours prior yeah you're obviously trying to start something again and she's gonna leave so then uh shami is like oh gosh it's just so disappointing it wasn't my intention to ruin the night you know like what are they just part of her litter i mean what are they in it for the free hair well that's not nothing and also um i was gonna say as a bald person i'm gonna be in that car too like is there anything you can do anything at all drew will take what she can get and i have to say that look i mean also like it's also rich that she's

30:56Ben Mandelker: no pun intended that she's saying they're just in for the free hair while she's literally donating like a free house to kelly and on top of that um you're the one who got so upset about being called a lap dog and now you're basically calling all of them lap dogs you are so like i don't know

31:10Ronnie Karam: it's another chapter in the shamia you are fine her whole thing is everybody's calling her a lap dog for porsche that's why she got you know anti-porsche and now she's calling everybody a lapdog like come on at least be that's my thing with Shamia at least be original you know I just

31:29Ben Mandelker: want her to stop being so hyper focused on trying to fit in or trying to like like see what about me what about me I just want her to be herself the way we used to know and love her like I think people I think it's it's like foreign now to look back at the years when she was a friend of and how like people loved Shamia we loved Shamia she was great she would come on be like more Shamia, you know? And now it's like, oh, Shamia. You know, someone messaged me, an old queen at the bar messaged me, and you know, you have to take it with a grain of salt, because I don't know who, I don't know anyone.

32:01Ben Mandelker: People just say things. But they said, you know, it's crazy to me because I knew Shamia back in the day, and I used to work like side by side with her, and she always wanted to be popular. But what was crazy is that she actually is popular. And I think I've heard it from a few different people like Shamia is actually quite popular in Atlanta like she people everyone seems to like Shamia but she seems to not feel it you know and it's like I just want her to stop trying so hard for approval of either the audience or from Portia and just like be herself and then

32:36Ronnie Karam: I think we would all come around to loving her but this year you know last year I think that was a hundred percent true this year the problem is she's trying to start things with people over and over again it's not really looking for approval she's trying to start mess but it's just not landing you know like the whole going to dallas and then getting upset that you didn't get the main house and then refusing to go in and saying it's too dirty to even go in and i won't even come to dinner i'm going to sit by the pool with cameras and have my own scene about how all of this is so unfair you know she's trying to start things that aren't really going anywhere and cynthia didn't even give her a big argument well not that cynthia normally does anyway but Cynthia didn't give her a huge argument.

33:19Ronnie Karam: She was just like, Shamia, you know, she's just not getting the reaction she wants from people because no one even wants to have these big fights with Shamia. They're just like, ah, now first you're trying too hard to get everyone to like you. And now you're trying too hard to get everybody to fight with you. But I think ultimately it's what you're saying is not is the trying to be something, you know, like I need to be a better housewife then.

33:42Ben Mandelker: It's all tied in. Yeah. Everything you're saying is all tied in, I think, with her need for approval. I think it's like she wants to prove that she is a real housewife. She's not just Portia's friend. And she deserves this peach as much as anyone else. And so if she gets put into the kiddie house, then she feels like, oh, I'm not sitting with the adults. I'm at the kids' table. And like, no, I deserve this space. like and like i think it's all tied in with wanting approval wanting to fit in yada yada yada and she like when she doesn't feel like she's fitting in she's like she lashes out because it's like she's working so hard and doesn't everyone doesn't everyone see doesn't everyone appreciate how much work she's putting into it and aren't i fun and i'm doing all the right things guys you know like that's where that's that's what i see in her yeah well that makes sense so then we go so they come to the what i'm not i'm not projecting my issues onto shimia

34:40Ronnie Karam: whatsoever guys no you're not like that i don't think but yeah i mean that's shimia's thing is like seeking approval so then we go and not getting it you know that's that's the follow-up it's always trying and not getting there so then we go to the castle they come over to the castle shamia is wearing a crazy long-haired coat that's dyed different colors and it's kind of like the shaggy dog hair or like a long-haired dog uh coat yeah you know like what are those white dogs

35:12Ben Mandelker: yeah i know which one like the one from labyrinth yes like the shaggy the shaggy one where they don't you can't see their eyes yeah i was trying to figure out what did you kill to make this coat my friend growing up had my friend growing up had a dog like that it was so annoying oh god those dogs because it's like it's like the most doggy of dogs it's just like want to play want to play want to play want to play and it gets all up in your face and knocks over like five glasses from the coffee table in the process floppy dog with long hair going everywhere uh so it's had like all sorts of weird kind of like bird-like colors on it too like a like an unnatural blue yes it's just like blue red yellow i think it's some rich people shit i don't know because i don't

35:57Ronnie Karam: know the non-rich people are looking at that like what the hell why would you do that so phaedra goes into porsche's room um to announce very gently she's like well i'm going to the cemetery today oh wait is this yeah she's like i'm going to the cemetery today and i'm taking shimia borsche's like it's like well we are on a tv show where they do force us to do things but also i want to talk to her about it you know and it'll be a cemetery so maybe we can bury it

36:36Ben Mandelker: yeah borsche's like yeah um i don't want to get buried so yeah and this is and this whole situation is very much risen from the dead and so portia's saying she's like yeah um my mindset was just to move forward and uh she's just like a snake in the grass and she was waiting for the perfect moment to trigger me and she's like we're gonna just match energies at this point you know

37:03Ronnie Karam: so don't worry we're gonna continue these conversations and phaedra said well i don't want my birthday dinner to be this type of foolishness and she's like um yeah it probably will be some type of foolishness don't have your birthday dinner on camera if you don't want that

37:17Ben Mandelker: okay so uh the group that goes to the cemetery is Phaedra Kelly Shamia and Cynthia you know Cynthia seems thrilled to be with Shamia and um they're all gonna go they're all heading out there and um Shamia's saying let me tell you something if it wasn't for Kelly going I wouldn't be going because at least she can be a witness unless they bury her ass too. And Kelly is like, yeah, this is not normal going to a graveyard. This is not where I'd like to meet my next man or husband.

37:50Ronnie Karam: I'm like, what happened to Jarvis? You're dating a man who just bought you$30 ,000 teeth. Maybe don't talk about how many people. Oh yeah,$70 ,000 teeth. Don't talk about wanting to fuck on a trip. I mean, geez, respect the dental work at least. also why is she wearing a helmet for horse riding i kelly's choices are

38:16Ben Mandelker: like it begins and ends with the crazy cranberry dye she puts on her dog so when it comes to like aesthetics i just don't know if i can trust kelly on any front we're going to a cemetery

38:26Ronnie Karam: get me a horse riding helmet i was gonna start going places in a motorcycle helmet just for fun just to see what people will do yeah so they're like why are we going to a cemetery and phaedra's like oh a lot of people are buried here this isn't just a normal cemetery and they say like who and she can't answer she's like uh yeah i can't remember the fuck do i know we're in scotland it's like they've reserved a plot for alan coming that's the best i can do famous people don't make a better cemetery and i said i say that as someone who goes to hollywood forever often for the how the day of the dead thing and i was walking with my friends around it this year and it's so funny the difference in 20 years because i remember going there when i first moved to la 20 something years ago and then now we're all older you know and just everybody's reaction to it is much different it's almost worse that everyone's famous because it's like oh my god all these people are dead and then we just look at each other and one of my friends was like it just all ends just all ends doesn't it you know it wasn't as fun as when you're like you know young younger at least walking around there getting high with your friends giggling like oh my god look at all these famous dead people As an older person, you're just like, oh, my God.

39:49Ronnie Karam: It's like my parking space in 10 minutes. It's depressing.

39:56Ben Mandelker: Expiring. Yeah. Yeah. Anyway, thanks, everyone, for listening to Watch for Private.

40:01Ronnie Karam: It's like you're suddenly a carton of milk that can have eyes to see its own expiration date. It's soothed. So anyway, a cemetery is not fun. I mean, take me there when I'm 20 and give me a fucking joint. But don't take me there in middle age. Just be like, well, have fun, especially with the guy who leads it. He's depressing as hell. He's like, well, this person was killed from a doornail to the head. A neighbor hated him. And this one was eaten alive by rats in a sewer because he couldn't pay his tax.

40:32Ben Mandelker: Like, OK, great. That's exciting. So meanwhile, back at the back at the castle, Portia is FaceTiming Lauren, her sister. It was like three in the morning. And she's like, oh, gotta wake up for sister duty. But Portia's like. Yeah, so I've been like, kind of like, chilly amount in space. And like, I thought like Shamia was doing the same thing. And girl, like why last night when we went to dinner, she starts with like, you know, I hear that you don't want Pilar around me and Yara. And I'm like, what are you talking about? What happened? So the girls in the group have already told me that she's basically using Pilar for clout.

41:03Ben Mandelker: And Lauren's like, really? Wow. Did we have to talk about this right now? I kind of want to go back to bed, but that's crazy, Portia. She's like, it's eight in the morning here, Portia.

41:12Ronnie Karam: Can we please move this along? And she's like, yeah, well, you know what? And then she says her mom said that my mom wanted to sleep with her dad. She's like, what? Why would she say that? Even if it's true, possibly. Who knows what mom was doing back then? Borsh is like, I don't know. I mean, her daddy's not ever had teeth. I love that. She's like, past or present, nobody wanted to sleep with that toothless man.

41:41Ben Mandelker: okay yeah and lauren's like i mean there's no way i would repeat that in front of anybody friends or not to somebody else like there's a line you don't cross and there it is and portion yeah you cross it so back at the um at the cemetery we're still just like going on this tour um uh and cynthia is like kelly's like so i have a question about last night like why did you guys all get out of there quicker than free Costco samples last night. And Cynthia's like, I did not get out of there that quick. I actually was still on the dance floor enjoying Shamia's song. Never have. There you go, Shamia.

42:18Ben Mandelker: I just named the song for America.

42:24Ronnie Karam: And Shamia's saying, well, at least you greeted me, so thank you. But, you know, I did feel disappointed because, you know, I didn't even want to come out. And then I did. I made the effort. And everyone treated me like that. And she's like, and I want to apologize to you for ruining last night's dinner because it did start out one way. I didn't think it was going to go there, but I did, you know, after taking it there multiple times after Portia was invaded with the first three things I gave her. And I'm sorry for that. And, you know, I just want to give you some context to understanding how things are going and just festering, you know, and how it's glorified.

43:02Ben Mandelker: and she says, you know, Portia made a public post about my mom and the post went viral and she was already going through a lot of health stuff and it just was like, damn, you're talking about my mom and the opportunity presented itself last night because we were going back and forth and we were both slinging mud and I'm not making excuses for it. I'm just explaining it in a way where if I were to be excused for my behavior, it would be because of these things, but I'm not making excuses and, you know, I said what I said and then it just went to hell. You took it to hell.

43:33Ronnie Karam: And also, Portia only made the statement of your mom after she watched you on national TV make a statement about the moms. So it was a response. Again, you started it. So now we go back to Lauren and Portia talking. And Lauren's like, wow, that's really personal shit. And that's not true. And Portia said, yeah. And then you said that my mom tried to sleep with your dad when your mama actually did fuck her husband's brother. and she's like whoa those are two nuclear bombs you know like i'm not gonna throw a nuclear bomb at you because you're gonna throw one at me and now we're both dead she's like that's that's how nuclear bombs that's how nuclear bombs work that's that's that's why we're all afraid of them

44:13Ben Mandelker: yeah lauren is basically like look just don't play into it okay because you're just gonna go back and forth don't play into it and portia goes the higher road is beyond me at this point so then um pedra is uh back in the car pedra's like you know children mamas certain stuff like that is very triggering to people and i just don't know if it's appropriate the group knows about this kind of stuff and she basically said uh pedra says you know like they've been the best friends and i don't know what happened but but shamia's definitely been stirring the pot you know She's, you know, Shamia said that, you know, Pinky, you told Pinky that I said that she ate meat.

44:54Ben Mandelker: I told Angela, her daughter, said something inappropriate to Angela's daughter. You know, you're just keeping up friction in the group.

45:02Ronnie Karam: And Shamia's like, you know, I feel like in this group, people do things to me and nobody says anything. But then when I get my lick back or do the same thing, then it's like, oh, no, Shamia, you went too far. But Shamia, you usually start it, you know? I mean the stuff with Angela And the going low in the restaurant Angela well Angela's no innocent either So I don't want to be like oh Angela's so innocent But you're making it sound like someone Straight up attacked you When I don't know Maybe you need to work on your lick back game

45:34Ben Mandelker: Maybe you need to work on the lick back game Because like if no one says anything If someone does something to you and everyone stays quiet And then you get your lick back and everyone's like Shamia too far Maybe you're not doing it right Because there is an art to a lick back And if your timing is wrong or you come on too hard or not the right way, it's going to land wrong. So maybe you need to think about how you are having your moments. Because obviously they're not working for your castmates or the audience.

46:04Ronnie Karam: And Cynthia's saying, well, look, I'll tell you this. If Portia had been the one to bring up the moms, I would have defended you. And she goes, but she did. And nobody called me and said, are you okay? And she goes, no, I'm saying at the table. She goes, no, well, I'm talking about the world. She didn't bring it up first to the world. You did. This is just so difficult. You brought it up on TV first. Unless I'm remembering it wrong. But I remember it with Shamia bringing it up on TV and then Portia responding after she saw it. She responded on Instagram. I don't remember, quite frankly.

46:38Ben Mandelker: I actually don't remember. Another point that I just want to say is that Shamia could also work on being funnier with her lick backs. Because at least like Portia, when she gets her lick backs in, she's funny about it. And then we're like, that was so petty, but we're chuckling. But for me, it's just kind of like, oh, that was just mean.

46:55Ronnie Karam: And it's kind of everybody she goes up against. Because Angela went low and she made up all kinds of like, did you fuck George? Did you fuck your neighbor George? Angela comes up with all this crazy shit. You can't really stand up for Angela, but she's funny. She's really funny. And so the audience forgives a lot, I think.

47:15Ben Mandelker: But it's like commenting on the internet. It's like internet comments. You know, like if someone posts something and someone writes something shady about it underneath in the comments, you know, then we all laugh. We're like, oh, God, that was so wrong. That's so wrong. But like it was hilarious. But then if someone writes like, well, you're stupid and fat and ugly, then everyone's like, hey, that was like fucking mean. What's wrong with you? You have to know how to deliver your shade. And if you're just clunky with it, especially if you're mean forward and not comedy forward, then you're just not going to win any fans.

47:55Ronnie Karam: Yeah. So then Shami is saying, well, I'm just trying to tell you what you're not seeing. And no one's buying it. Okay? So then we go back to Portia and Lauren. And she's like, I mean, all I can think is that she's destiny swamping. uh destiny swapping not swapping and um which is basically trying to steal all of her all of her success and kind of copycatting her yeah um so but it doesn't doesn't it doesn't

48:25Ben Mandelker: seem to be working right now um so now uh now it's time for the spa ladies to go to the spa so that's uh porsche pinky k michelle angela and drew so uh they're on this castle in this castle so there's a spa in this castle so they go they get dressed for the spa and they head out but they have to go outside and then they're just like wandering on the property until they finally come to like an above ground hot tub and um there was like some other like rinky dink kind of spa feature and they're like yeah okay they like touch the water and they're like okay we did the spa day We're going to go back inside now.

49:05Ronnie Karam: Yeah. This cannot be pampered by Portia. What? I'm doing no, no, no, no, no, no. So Portia's like, yeah, this was not my best idea. Oh, well, next time we'll go to the Four Seasons. So now back at the cemetery, we meet the tour guide. And we see this. Well, Phaedra is saying she loves death, basically. And so we see a flashback to Phaedra talking to a couple about their dead dog. And this cemetery is very famous because of Harry Potter. And so Jamie, the tour guide, is telling them just every depressing story there is, really.

49:47Ben Mandelker: Yeah, he talks about how William Burke and William Hare were two of Scotland's first recorded serial killers. and they killed a lot of people, I guess. I guess, were they buried here or people that were killed by them buried here? Either way, he brings them up, you know, Burke and Hare. And then we also get an interesting piece of flavor from Shelby, the note taker, who said, if you have ever heard of Burke-ing as a cause of death, that is when someone sits on your chest or something heavy is placed on your chest and you suffocate. It's how Burke and Hare killed their victims. so it wouldn't be obvious that what had killed them and it wouldn't be suspicious death and they could easily sell the bodies to the medical schools i read a whole book about them wow more interesting than any scene that shami has had this episode is this little anecdote

50:42Ronnie Karam: just sitting so uh everybody's kind of horrified they're like wow this isn't fun you know and then And we see like a little dog statue. And he's like, this dog loved his owner so much that he sat by the grave after the owner died for 16 years straight. So he made a statue of him. And he's this dog. I mean, even in statue form, this cute little dog is just like, treat, treat. You can eat any treat. Do you have a treat? Where's my treat?

51:12Ben Mandelker: Where's my treat? Please. So, yeah, they're just going around the cemetery for a while looking at things. And it's very adorable. that dog statue. Meanwhile, the other ladies are back at the house and they're sitting around a fire. Pinky's saying how fun the night was and everything, and Drew's thanking Kay for showing some love with her music. And Kay Michelle's like, well, you're welcome. I wish you the best in music. And I know it's a difficult thing, getting people to listen to your music, Drew. But you know, I poke a little fun, but that's just what I do. I just like to punch down to the people who have no shot at actually having a real record career.

51:48Ronnie Karam: Oh, you do it for fun? Well, it's not fun for me. It's like, well, you know, you know, I start. I know I have my issues with Drew, but I just I also felt like it just wasn't right. I don't live in hate. I do not live in hate.

52:04Ben Mandelker: No, just paranoia. So Pinky is like, well, I know you guys all started off on a rocky foot, but since we had our threesome. OK, like for real, I'm happy that you are. You're both like engaging with each other. And like, to me, that feels good. So I just want to say I see it. OK, look, we are. Listen, we were singing along with your song at the club last night. Portia wasn't that nice. And she's like, I know. So she's like, but you like you took the whole club with you. Like, what was going on with that? Like, why did you leave?

52:34Ronnie Karam: And she's saying, listen, that dinner was unpredictable and I'm not going to be around that. No. And she's saying I was there when Shamia gave birth to her daughter. She was there when I gave birth to my daughter. And this just came out of nowhere. and I've let my guard down with her and she's still going to try to trigger me and so Drew's like, well, what does everybody else think about Shamia? You guys are just getting to know her and Pinky says that she's seen some changes for sure in Shamia and for the negative. Yes, and she was asking her at the airport, are you ready for the trip? And Shamia was like, well, I'm ready for whatever's ready for me and Portia's like, what even is that energy?

53:15Ronnie Karam: What is it? And K. Michelle is like, well, I'm just shocked because, you know, the conversations I've had with her have been like, I'm hurt, you know, even to tears. And about her friendship with you and Pinky's nodding. And Portia's saying, well, when I tell you I'm chilling, like I was there. So if you wanted to be back or even start that leg, we were on our way. So why do this? And K.

53:40Ben Mandelker: Michelle is suspicious. She tells us, Portia's lying. We've talked several times. you never said that you were going to try to make a man with Shamia save that crock of shit for somebody else not me

53:50Ronnie Karam: she told Shamia she was and she hasn't been starting with Shamia so

53:54Ben Mandelker: she hasn't been but she hasn't been she has not been actively trying to be friends with Shamia she's just been coexisting she's like I'm not going to get clocked for being mean to Shamia I'm not going to give her that you know

54:06Ronnie Karam: isn't that I mean when you tell someone we'll start over and start fresh and just move forward I don't has Shamia been calling her for lunches that she's not been showing up to or something? Because I think showing up and being nice to somebody is starting over.

54:23Ben Mandelker: I mean, I think that Portia is starting all the way over. Like, oh, we just met for the first time. I'm not going to engage with you. Like, I just met you on the street. You're a fan. I think what it is is that Portia is trying to make it sound like she's put effort into rebuilding this friendship. ends like okay michelle's like you yeah you have not put any effort into this you've still been cold around shamia like she i mean porsche still she's i think cordial to shamia but she's i would never say that there's any warmth with shamia this season i mean porsche also likes to she gives herself a very complimentary uh revisionist history a lot of the times and i get that and i still think that shamia was the was the one at fault for all this uh so don't get me don't don't think i'm defending shamia but also portia is one to be like and i've been such a good friend i've

55:13Ronnie Karam: been so nice to her it's like maybe not so nice so uh they're asking portia how she feels and she's just disappointed and they could have gotten it back together she's like we could have we could have gotten everything back together here in switzerland yes not switzerland where the fuck are we like scotland whatever the ikea whatever the ikea country we're in no it's still it's the wrong

55:41Ben Mandelker: one yeah horsche and scotland just don't mix uh that's what we learned the last season of the traders uh meanwhile the uh back at the cemetery they're still walking around and now uh here's something fun for your tour welcome to the world's first concentration camp it's like

55:59Ronnie Karam: oh great oh my god geez man and then he's talking about um how there was an exorcism in this place because such strange stuff was happening and the exorcist died a week after doing the exorcism um so they're like why why are we here what the hell and then kelly's making the like, ha ha, I already did an exorcism with my ex-husband.

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58:16Ben Mandelker: so then um shami and kelly are talking because there's this dark scary room that they don't want to go into so they're outside and so kelly is like she's like so how do you feel about the conversation went in the car and she was like it just was easier for me to just apologize because no matter even if i didn't feel like i was wrong i found a little bit of more peace and light and just being truthful and saying what i feel even if it hurts people's feelings and she's she's

58:44Ronnie Karam: only she's crying on behalf of your mom flirted with my dad it's not really talking about your

58:51Ben Mandelker: feelings but okay sometimes like it's good to be truthful but it's also good to have timing and um like that was not the time to be truthful yeah so they have the same conversation they've

59:04Ronnie Karam: had a million times and meanwhile this this little room that they're going into the guy's really trying to sell it the cemetery guy because you know he's a tour guide basically and so he's like go into this room do you feel it it's dark every people when they walk in here they say oh it feels dark it feels good do you feel any of that and pager's like hmm it smells smells funny in here but it was not really no come on come on in here to have a spooky moment hindi for world's first

59:34Ben Mandelker: concentration camp. I'm like, sir, this is like... I understand, like, ooh, haunted someone, an old lady died here because she was banished there by her sisters and she sweared revenge and she died in a fire. Now they say she haunts the halls. It's like, okay, funny haunted moment. But here it's like, this was the world's first concentration camp. I'm like, it feels a little bit dark to have a silly haunted moment, you know?

1:00:02Ronnie Karam: um yeah can we make this lighter also like on cemetery tours i don't want all the dark stuff i mean i feel like humans are always walking around like oh my god ghost i'm so scared of the ghost you're gonna be one you're gonna be one some sooner than others but we're all gonna be a ghost so in that case can you just show me to the slab where the person was like really happy loved ice cream and died watching murder she wrote reruns like that's who i want to hang out with you know what i mean i don't want to hang out with the the serial killer who sat on somebody's chest

1:00:34Ben Mandelker: that's not the show me show me better friends i know although you do have to you do have to be impressed with a serial killer that was like i'm going to uh i'm going to kill you in the laziest way possible. I'm just going to sit on your chest. I'm just going to sit here.

1:00:52Ronnie Karam: If I was going to be a serial killer, that would probably be my way. At least you get to sit. It takes all the work out of it.

1:00:58Ben Mandelker: What happened to sensual ghosts? I think there's only been one sensual ghost in the history of mainstream entertainment, of course, which was Patrick Swayze in Ghost. Whatever happened to ghosts that were like, let's have a sensual pottery moment. Like an arts and craft slash erotic ghost. That would be much more fun than like oh i'm mad at you i'm gonna scare you like why did you i we brought this ghost tricked me

1:01:26Ronnie Karam: more into making out with him with her and then it found she found out it was whoopi goldberg

1:01:31Ben Mandelker: at the end of the makeout that's a ghost i mean i'll say patrick suwayze's ghost really had it figured out it's like well i'm in the afterlife now so i can do arts and crafts with a hot lady

1:01:44Ronnie Karam: I've got time I've got nothing but time So it's time to take up pottery You know He's like me, he knows three chords on the piano He's like, yes So then we go to They get in the car, they're going home And they're talking about What are they talking about? How Phaedra came to life And Cynthia's saying Wow, you really latched onto that man I mean, was that man married or not, child? And Kelly's saying Well, he said his wife was dead to him. I don't know about that. And Shamia's like, no, he said he's going through a divorce, you know? So they're all laughing. And then, I don't know, they're just making small talk.

1:02:27Ronnie Karam: Now they're talking about Phaedra's birthday. And how do you feel about your next spin around the sun, Phaedra? And she's like, well, you know, I just really need to sit down and do my planning. But with children, there's so much going on. So they're talking about co-parenting with Apollo.

1:02:45Ben Mandelker: and Phaedra says that she's only had two boyfriends since she got divorced from Apollo. And Cynthia's like, uh, bullshit, bullshit, bullshit. Bullshit. Ciao. Bullshit. Um, and, uh, Cynthia's like, you know, I see it all. The most sexy wigs, sexy tight clothes, somebody in between them thighs. We just don't know who it is. Um, so, uh, then Portia calls Phaedra and she's like, uh, says they're coming home. It's a bit of a slow episode. What can I say?

1:03:20Ronnie Karam: Yeah, Portia was supposed to get warning that they were on their way back, but she didn't get warning because they're hanging out in a room.

1:03:26Ben Mandelker: They're hanging out. Portia's brought the woman into the room where the dinner's going to be. It's like a library, and that's where Phaedra's dinner's going to be tonight, and so it's a surprise. They have to run out of there in case Phaedra catches them, and their surprise is ruined. Library surprise.

1:03:40Ronnie Karam: Yeah. So now they go get dressed up again. there's a lot of dressing up for not doing a whole lot

1:03:46Ben Mandelker: they do have a lot of costume changes in 24 hours

1:03:51Ronnie Karam: they get dressed and Cynthia and Drew are catching up on their days and Cynthia is saying yeah we talked about last night Shamia says she wasn't she didn't feel supported and K. Michelle is like you know that pulls on a heart string because I don't want anyone to feel like they're being bullied or like they're on the island alone

1:04:10Ben Mandelker: that's her whole thing because that's how she often feels

1:04:13Ronnie Karam: so she doesn't want yeah but she's also the one who is like leaving and then blaring the national anthem out the window and shit like that which she made up with drew earlier but it's just you you see such different things from k michelle but then she's always the one to turn around and be like i just hate bullying i just hate it yeah well everyone always is takes a very

1:04:40Ben Mandelker: just on these shows in general, they often take a very sanctimonious stance on many different topics. And then they violate them.

1:04:48Ronnie Karam: Sounds familiar. Sounds like me. Sounds like doing this show right here that we're doing right now. So this episode is basically talking about the last episode. Most of it. So then everybody's really tense. Everybody's oohing and aahing over the outfits. And the outfits are really, really tense. really formal to be i mean lots of beating well because they're wearing have dinner in the library

1:05:16Ben Mandelker: well yeah they're wearing the sashes that they got from the from the tartan store and so they all have their sashes although some of them are not wearing sashes i don't think actually phaedra was wearing her sash i was like what you it was your idea why aren't you wearing it she's uh definitely giving kind of like a dolly parton look phaedra and so they go and they sit down this formal dinner and phaedra starts talking to cynthia saying like you know wow we started in 2009. It's been a crazy ride, which is crazy that they, I forgot that they started as early as 2009. I thought they were like 2011, but still that is 17 years that they've been like on or around this show.

1:05:54Ben Mandelker: That's a long, that's such a long time. Like that's crazy. 17 years. And Cynthia's like, well, I think we started this journey together and I always felt a bond with you. every time I eat a pickle, I imagine you eating a pickle with Apollo, taking photos of it. So although we are somewhat of a slow burn, I love where we are today, and I respect your resilience, and I've seen you go through a lot, and I literally just smile watching you soar because you make it look so good. Happy birthday.

1:06:23Ronnie Karam: Yeah. She does the speech. It's your birthday, so now we're going to give speeches. And I was like, no, no, no. I hate where everybody has to give a speech. So then it goes to Portia, and um she's like so now parasha will speak and then everyone laughs except shamia she's like well so she starts giving a speech about the memories and you know she can always count on phaedra and there's times where she's needed to call someone and can't call anyone else you've just been such a lovely friend and shamia's like oh you're best friends now phaedra wasn't even at your wedding what's happening here she didn't say best friends She said, you've been such a lovely friend.

1:07:08Ben Mandelker: And you've just been, you've been wonderful. When I have an issue, there's no one in the world and definitely not at this table that I've ever been able to call. And I love that I've always been able to call you and only you a sister. And yes, you almost got me fired from the show because you had me accuse Candy of terrible things. But that's just the things that best friends do for each other. And no one else at this table would understand that whatsoever. because I've never been a better friend to anyone at this table than you, Phaedra. And Shamia's sitting there like white-knuckling it like...

1:07:40Ronnie Karam: And Kelly says, this is very calculated. If you look on social media, you don't see them hanging out with each other. I mean, they just don't.

1:07:50Ronnie Karam: So then Borsh is like, oh... Where it's really real. That's where you know things are real, on Instagram, guys. Yes. That's where we've come in this world where people are like, oh, really? You're so fake. Like, I don't even see you guys on Instagram being real with each other. Instagram's like one of the fakest places in the world.

1:08:06Ben Mandelker: Hilarious. I know. It's just, it's all purely curated. I mean, do we see much of her hanging out with people on Instagram? I just feel like it's just, I'm looking at Portia and Instagram, and it's just like all photos of her. Maybe Pilar, maybe Sway. But this is not an Instagram where I'm like, oh, wow, I'm getting an insight into all the people that she hangs out with. It's just like a corporate machine at this point.

1:08:29Ronnie Karam: Phaedra's crying because the speech was so beautiful. And Portia gives her a gift and it's a proclamation. Yes. She's like, this is an official Highland title. Lady of the Glen. Lady Phaedra Parks. And she's like, wow. I'm officially Lady of the Glen. And Shamia's like, what is that? What's Lady of the Glen? Can I Google that? Is it going to come up? Is her name going to come up and say Lady of the Glen? I'm Googling it.

1:08:58Ben Mandelker: This is like when someone names a star after, like gets an official, like, this star is now called like Nova Ronnie Karam or something. And it's like, first of all, one of a trillion stars. And second of all, like what legitimacy does this claim have beyond the corporation that someone, like this little business that someone found online that like issues these certificates? I'll take it. I'm about to say, that being said, as someone who went to a scone-making class in London and received a little piece of cardboard afterwards that said, I am a master sconesman, just all I've got to say is you better watch out who you're talking to because I'm a master sconesman.

1:09:34Don't forget, we are also fathers to a – not a donkey.

1:09:40Ronnie Karam: A penguin.

1:09:41Ben Mandelker: A dolphin. A penguin. No, a penguin. A penguin. Because that was when Sheena and Adam had adopted a penguin on Vanderpump Rules, and it was a big issue for them. I even got him a penguin and so then someone adopted a penguin in our name

1:09:54Ronnie Karam: yeah so we have our own penguin out there somewhere and I mean that's still very meaningful to me I have the gift certificate I think it's in Texas in a box somewhere but I kept that shit I'm the father of a penguin damn it

1:10:04Ben Mandelker: that penguin is our child and we care for it so much we won't even reveal its name which we definitely remember its name but for its privacy and the privacy of its friends and family we won't say its name that we definitely remember

1:10:16Ronnie Karam: Amber Marie Parks Malata oh so yeah i mean i'll take it so then um cynthia's like wow if i knew i could just give phaedra a plaque for her birthday i would have saved some money by the way we also know that

1:10:32Ben Mandelker: there's only one lady of the glen on bravo and her name is kyle richards okay it's glenn the party planner oh think about it it's a thinker guys but i hope the food i hope he's well so then um they're talking about has anybody here almost

1:10:52Ronnie Karam: died and pinky's like i did a couple of times oh okay and um okay okay michelle's like yeah i mean i feel like it's a horrible thing like when i went through those surgeries and then you know them saying my mom we don't know and then you have to see your mom crying which of these i mean it was sad. But Kay Michelle is really hammering home her butt storyline this year. She really does. A lot of butt drama that she's got. So she talks about that and cries about it and stuff. And how it was sad seeing your family gathered around you. And then she's like, you know, like I'm just scared to death. I'm scared of it.

1:11:33Ronnie Karam: And Phaedra says, that's normal. You know, most people aren't as comfortable as I am. Isn't that weird with death thing. Let me tell you what makes death easier.

1:11:42Ben Mandelker: Profit. Profit law? So then Drew gets emotional because her dad passed. And so she starts getting emotional. Angela's getting emotional because her mom just passed. So Drew leaves and Portia goes after her. And Angela, there's this weird cut where Angela went away from the table and then Drew went away from the table and then Portia ran after drew but angela came back to the table and i don't think i saw angela come back to the table because then all of a sudden she was back to the table i was like wait a second there's a continuity issue here and i got caught up on like when did angela come back to the table this is how i watch these shows everyone that's what i'm trying to say it's maybe she got up from

1:12:22Ronnie Karam: the table and saw that the cameras were only following porsche and drew so she was like that's kind of what it was i'll be back i guess i'll be back at the table thanks guys thanks for

1:12:32Ben Mandelker: the support. So Portia runs off after Drew, and then Shamia says, Kay, can I just say this, though? Like, last night was a rough night, right? We can all agree. And you know I apologize to you, Phaedra, today, and I hate to make people feel like they've got to choose or pick a side, because that's not what it's about. I just... Well, they're like, well, what made you say something to Portia? She's like, well, this has just been festering in me for a long time, and if you want to take my side, I'll tell you about it. but if not, I won't. But anyway, you don't have to take sides. You don't have to take sides.

1:13:06Ben Mandelker: So Pinky's like, okay, Shamia is like a professional apologizer. I mean, does she need to apologize? I think it's a little deeper than an apologize, okay? Because you meant what you said. It wasn't like this... I don't want to see a YouTube apology after this. She goes, I love you down, but don't do this. Yeah.

1:13:25Ronnie Karam: So then we see Drew and Portia crying and Portia supporting her while she cries. Then we come back and Shamia is like, now, do I regret, you know, the timing and where it happened and how it happened? Sure, sure. And I apologize to you even in front of, I guess, who's left here at the group. Shamia posted an Instagram before this episode aired, like, sometimes apologies aren't the easiest thing, but it's important to give the apology and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. So I came thinking, oh, she's going to apologize. Like, she's going to try and make things right with Portia. no she waited for portia to leave the table and then apologized to random other people kind of but not really about anything just for the timing of it yeah and the thing that they're like pushing

1:14:12Ben Mandelker: in the second half of the season is like something's going on with the shamia what's wrong with shamia there's something deeper and bigger happening um so kelly's like stop apologizing to all these people you've apologized 50 000 times who the fuck cares stand on business whatever and then she like lifts her legs up in the air she's like all sand all ten toes down she lifts her legs up and like shows her butt and the bruce is like I can see her crack she's like oh who cares everybody's seen it before

1:14:41Ronnie Karam: yeah so then Portia comes back to the table and she's like I thought I was going to come back to some laughter did you guys change the subject and they're like oh no we're talking about last night and she goes oh okay well Drew's okay She was just having a moment, you know, thinking about her dad So, how's the food? And Pinky's like, yeah, we were talking about last night And then you walked in on Shamia And Shamia says, well, I mean, you know, Phaedra, I'm just happy that we're able to celebrate you At the end of the day, you get nothing for nothing

1:15:14Ben Mandelker: I just, I'm so sorry that there have been so many distractions in celebrating you the past few days Distractions that I brought on because I started fights so anyway then some Scottish dancers come out and they're dancing traditional Scottish dancing and then the women start dancing too and then there's an accordion no no

1:15:33Ronnie Karam: a cemetery and an accordion no who planned this birthday so then it ends and the trip ends and Phaedra talks about you know how now she's Lady Phaedra and it was all worth it and Portia rates the Scotland trip a 10 out of 10 and then she's like well maybe a 9 out of 10 Portia what take everything outside of the fighting did you see the hot tub yeah i was about to say it was

1:16:00Ben Mandelker: i feel like this was like a six or seven out of ten trip like it was nice it didn't seem like it wasn't like the most exciting real housewives trip we've had they didn't seem to do anything terribly interesting um they had like a pleasant time a very nice time the fighting wasn't there was one really big bad fight which was a that was a really good one too to watch but like i feel like it was like a six as an attendee of the trip and a six as a viewer of the trip i give it yeah i think

1:16:31Ronnie Karam: that's rating it pretty highly i mean ultimately we're still arguing over people's moms from last year it's like a fail mom daycare fight yeah i did love the upping it to the mom flirted the mom fuck the brother. That was great. That was funny. That was real

1:16:46Ben Mandelker: generational shit, you know? Yeah. So, yeah.

1:16:50Ronnie Karam: Okay.

1:16:51Ben Mandelker: Just didn't go anywhere from there. I think the Texas trip was much better. That was much more entertaining to watch. But whatever. It's fine. It was still... It's sort of funny because I watched the episode and I enjoyed it. And nothing was really happening, but I was sort of just chuckling along at the light shade. But in terms of recapping, I was like, well, nothing really happened this episode, huh? just went to a cemetery, went to a spa, a quote unquote spa, and then they had dinner. Like it was really, it was a pretty, there was nothing here. There was nothing here really to recap. But it was pleasant to watch.

1:17:28Ben Mandelker: It's one of the rare times where I'm like, nothing happened and yet I'm really enjoying this season. And they've had a few of these episodes lately where nothing has happened, but I think the casting is just so strong this season that I'm okay, if that makes sense.

1:17:41Ronnie Karam: um i'm bored but i've enjoyed it when it's gotten you know when it's gotten really good and fun i enjoy it i just think they have a lot of a lot of lilling um and i don't you know i don't know

1:17:53Ben Mandelker: where you go what episodes need to be tighter a little bit tighter it's it's just it's clearly they're clearly stretching content yeah season order could be tighter too like i think shorter

1:18:04Ronnie Karam: you know don't don't don't stretch it on if you don't have anything but um you know overall love of Atlanta still. So it's just peaks and valleys, guys, like every relationship. So we will talk to you next time. Thanks so much for being here. We'll be back every day. And also, just so everybody knows, Real Housewives of London is coming to Bravo this week. It starts Tuesday. So watch that. We will be recapping it. We only recapped the first episode when it originally came out last year and died laughing. So I'm really excited for that one. So join us for that one too this week.

1:18:39Ben Mandelker: Yes, absolutely. Bye, everyone. Catch you in the next one. Bye. Watch what crappens would like to thank its premium sponsors. Ain't no thing like Alison King. Our way is the Amber way. It's the Foster and the Furious. It's Amanda Foster. It's Always Automatic with Ashley Otto. Put your hands together for Carly Clapp. Get on the right foot with Chrissy Offutt.

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1:21:17Ronnie Karam: She ain't no shrinking Violet Kuchar. We love you guys.

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