#3470 McBee Dynasty S03E06: In the Tallow Now

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1:46Hey, everybody. Welcome to Watch What Crap for For some reason, I was waiting for you to do it, but it's my turn. Hello, everybody. Welcome to Watch What? I'm not voluntarily introducing the McBees if I don't have to. Sorry. Welcome to Watch What Crappens. I'm Ronnie. That's Ben over there. How's it going today, Ben? I'm great. How are you doing? I'm good. Welcome, everybody, to the show. It's McBee Dynasty Day. Oh, no, we're all excited over here. if you want this on video you can find that at our Patreon day of we release videos for all of our episodes you can get them for free a week later on YouTube just search Watch What Crap Happens on YouTube and you'll find us also on Patreon you get access to our free weekly newsletter which is like a comedy recap of all these shows that I write and you also get bonus episodes this week's was really fun it was a personal story you know we were just talking about our personal lives in this one.

2:55It was super fun. You also get access to our Discord server where you talk to each other and talk shit about all of these shows. What else is on there, Ben? Oh, ad-free listening, which is a big one. So that's all available at patreon.com slash watch what crappens. And today is the McB Dynasty. It's season three, episode six. It's called First Impressions and Final Farewells. Is it over? Why is it called Final Farewells? I think that someone went to jail for two years. You know, it's sad. I mean, as Cole McBee mentioned, he's going away. Blair's only one. He's going to jail. When he comes back, Blair's going to be three years old.

3:48Blair won't even know who he is. I just... I just... I can't. It's like, oh, no, the three-year-old may not have a very strong awareness of their grandfather. People go away for like 30 years, and he's like, oh, Blair's going to go from being one to three. Oh, no. Jesus. For Christ's sake. Let me guarantee you this. Blair ain't going to give a fuck either way at one or three. Blair does not care. Blair. Blair does not care. She's got enough going on. Her mom smells like dead meat and her dad beats up hills. Okay? Yeah. She's got enough going on in her life. Blair is doomed in this world.

4:36Anyway, McBee Dynasty. So, yeah, final farewells. Something I wish I could sometimes say about this show. So, nine days until Steve Senior reports to prison, the countdown clock continues on. One thing I really also don't like about this show is that it feels cold. It always feels cold in this show. It feels like they're always in these big drafty houses. It feels like there's like where I feel how I feel like every house they're in is like 65 degrees. And I just I'm like, I get cold sitting there watching them. And I know that they're the type of people like, well, just put on a sweater. I just it's unpleasant.

5:11Well, it's cold weather and they do live in these giant barn homes that they've built for five dollars, but are very big and have cement floors. I don't think about how cold it is. I think about the electricity bills. Like, are electricities in McPoopy, wherever they live, is McBooger? Where do they live? Gallatin? I always forget the name of it. Yes, Gallatin. Gallivan. So the electricity must be really cheap in Gallatin because they're just these huge open barns. How do you keep that air conditioned and heated? Yeah. Oh. That's what the show brings to us, you guys. I know. We worry about air conditioning, heating, and temperatures in their house more than we worry about Blair.

5:57Yeah, well, one can only hope that they muster up enough money to pay their bills for their air conditioning and heating. So we start off in a very exciting way because we're at Steve Sr.'s house and Masha's with her prized chickens. And she's very worried because she has a raccoon sleeping amongst the chickens. So naturally Steve Jr. arrives. Now if I hear there's a raccoon just sleeping with the chickens in broad daylight, I'm like, that's rabies right there. But this idiot is like, whatever, I'll go in and grab it. Luckily, it was not a raccoon. It was just a possum doing what I generally do during the show.

6:37Nap. Napping. Play dead. Play dead. Wish it would all go away. If I'm dead, none of this is really happening. I'll just close my eyes. close my eyes and pretend that this is just a terrible, terrible thing and it's all going to pass and I'll be safe soon enough. Please tell me these chickens aren't dead. I cannot handle another Masha breakdown over dead chickens. And then we see a flashback to last year, Masha fighting with Galena. Why you keep coming back here? You killed my chickens and you messed up my car. It's like, I did not kill your chickens. Come on. How can you not love this show? I mean, there's a whole plot line of crazy Russian ladies fighting each other over some disgusting man and one taking revenge by kidnapping chickens where else are you gonna get that on paper maybe russia maybe russia itself um on paper sounds great um unfortunately for me it does it just doesn't quite get there but uh so the the chicken there's a possum there so steven picks up the possum and he's like yeah it's not a raccoon you're the most pessimistic person about raccoons.

7:46You probably don't even like Jimmy Thie. It's pretty funny that Masha is dressed in overalls or something. She's dressed in like, I am farmer. Look at me taking care of farm because I am head farm lady now. And she doesn't know the difference between a raccoon and a possum. Just dump the overalls, Masha. Nobody's buying it, okay? So she's like, is it like dead or a what? And he's like, no, it's not dead. It's plain dead. Haven't you ever heard the term plain possum? She's like, oh. No. No, we only know about playing gulag. So, by the way, did you know that if you type in. We only know play pierogi.

8:31This is what we play. Have you, on your iPhone, did you see what happens when you type Jimothy in? If you go onto like Safari and you type Jim, if you like look up Jimothy, see what happens. This is for everyone who's listening as well, in case you did not know about this. See what happens. Right. Do I press enter? Yeah, press enter. See what happens. Okay. It's Big Ed. Viral raccoon Jimothy. Oh my gosh, a little Jimothy ran across the screen. Press the paw. Okay, I'm pressing the paw. There he goes again. Long leg, tiny buddy Jimothy. There he goes again. I'm going to do it again. Now, if you do this for 60 minutes straight, then what happens is that you have the knowledge of knowing that you watch something 10 times more entertaining than the McGee Dynasty by just watching an animated raccoon scurrying left and right across your iPhone.

9:29Man, that Jimothy's really become a star. I love Jimothy. I love Jimothy. I love him. So does the world, apparently, because it's even on Safari. You know, I know the backlash is going to start to begin. I'm sick of Jimothy. Well, guess what? I'm not. I'm very pro-Jimothy. Very pro-Jimothy. Anyway, so... This is Bravo. I mean, usually you only get that famous when somebody cheats on you or something. Well... Jimothy did it by just having long legs and a tiny body. So congrats, Jimothy. Jimothy is like the new co-host of Love Island before Sun Everset. All right. He's gonna replace Teffy. It'll be Sierra and Jimothy interviewing contestants.

10:13you know actually he's gonna get his own spinoff before the sun and it's just where jimothy is gonna come walk around with really long legs and predict what maybe will happen someday on love island uh he's gonna be the host of the new uh what are they are they they're not marsupials whatever they are but um uh the point is that jimothy is great uh back to masha so masha there's a possum there and Steven's removed it and she's like, so how have you guys been doing? Every time I think about it my heart just drops. Oh no. Disgusting older man with money who I have to play possum with just to have sex with is going to jail and I am left with his money.

10:59Oh, my heart just drops. Oh no. So then we go, of course McBee, Steven Jr. is like Well, this is the hardest time that this farm has ever gone through. I don't know if this farm is going to be able to take it. That is going to print every week. It's like this is the hardest time the farm has ever gone through. Oh, this poor farm. So now we go over to Christy's house. Cole comes over, and she's got summer. She doesn't just have summer. She doesn't just have summer. she has a Stanley cup the size of a load bearing column like that column that like was crushed in New York City two weeks ago like she could have just put this mug in there and supported the entire structure she's like well if I can't have if I can't have an oversized ice latte then I will have some other drink that will be as tall as my entire torso Christy McBee is a lot of things one thing she is not is dehydrated No, she's always ready to go.

12:06Yeah. She's got that beverage ready. So they talk about how they're going to go take daddy to jail. And they're just, how can this farm ever get past it? Oh, my gosh. And she's just beside herself, Christy. Christy, the man who cheated on you, fucked you over, fucked your whole family over, is going to prison. Why are you pretending you're crying? Get the fuck out of here, Christy. I feel like the rest of us would be cheering. Like, finally, how can we make this longer? I know. Like, get out of there. Like, why are you? Like, she's crying because of her boys. Because she's sad that her boy's daddy's going to jail and hurts her boys.

12:50Fuck those boys. Okay? They're adults. They'll be fine. They're not going to cry for you or anyone else going through a tough time. So move on. Go back to your successful company doing whatever it is that you do. because you should not be sitting here, you know, in House of Blair crying. Also, that dad fucked all of them over because it's reported that allegedly Cole and Jesse could be going the same route because of things that he put in their name, you know, like shady things that he put in their name, etc. So and then we see what he does in this episode, which we'll get to. So I don't know.

13:28I think Christy's crying because this is the boy's source of income. And she's like, now I have to support all of these kids and all of these babies. Oh, no. No, no, no, no. Yeah, maybe there's that. So she's like, Steve gets away in a week and we won't be able to just call him or text him. Or, you know, it's like definitely going to be different. And it's like, oh, it's a lot on me. Hold on. Let me see what day he goes. Let me look on this calendar. Whoa, it's Masha's vagina. Okay. Okay, who put this up here? I made a put-up calendar on your house. Hope you don't mind, Christine. Well, from what I've been reading up on, I think you can email him, but I don't think it's a quick response.

14:12Because, like, no, I mean, I think he's probably checking it once a day or that and, like, maybe a couple times a week. And I did tell you, you know, like, I've been telling him what you need when you need something. then we'll figure it out because we're the new Steve for now while he's gone. I think I'm sure that's really reassuring to him. Yeah, Cole's like, we're the new Steve now. So I just pulled over and slept with the random stranger just getting the mood of it. Cole's like backing up a combine into the general store of the town. Like, we're the new Steve now. It's like, great. There's a tractor wheel that goes rolling down Main Street.

14:54could at least one of the steves learn how to drive one of these tractors while you're pretending on tv please just one of you even learn how to open the door of the tractor that would the doors i would love a whole season of the mcb dynasty where they just understand the concept of doors yeah um so he's like i don't it's pretty weird thinking about selling mcb headquarters and stuff like i i don't even know how this family is gonna survive this one so then the amount of eulogizing over this generic corporate office that they built it's like where but it's the hq i mean when we put in those when we put in those sockets electrical sockets there we thought these will be our sockets forever it's like i cannot be moved to care about your stupid corporate headquarters farm headquarters being sold off get a laptop though this is the farm headquarters is the whole thing i mean it's multiple billing buildings it's the grain silo it's like you look down on it it's like here's the entire mcbee farm they're like well we're just selling that but we'll have the right what are you gonna farm from home i don't understand how this all works like they had an hq before this they'll get an hq after it it's fine it's downsizing it happens to everyone they can get over it i'm sorry it's like if it's one thing if it's like oh we have to sell mom's house i'll be like oh that really sucks but it's just like remember here our hq that had a dining room in i don't know i just i can't there's something about this hq that i just cannot get behind in terms of feeling emotionally invested in it i'm like good riddance but there's a mini fridge in there and that's like a fridge but it's mini it's small it's a mini we got one of those things it's like not just like a sparkless cooler but we got one of those things where it's like a bunch of those ice cream cones but they're made of paper but you put your water in it.

16:46We got something to hold those. We have to shake a bite of that. Yeah. So then we go over to Steve Sr.'s house with Steve and Masha. And he's like, have you talked about my father about the future? What's it going to look like for you guys? I haven't seen him or talked to him. Come on. What are you thinking? She's like, well, you know, I will be here for him, but I know it is hard. When you think about it, he will go away soon. I've been in denial. I don't know what to do. What will this farm do without Steve Jr. Or Steve Sr.? It is surreal. It is like just talking about it. Look at me. I'm crying.

17:21You're not crying. I am. No, you're not. I'm great pierogi. She literally has no emotions. She's smiling practically. So, Christy's saying, Man, these past couple weeks have just been really rough. Cole's like, yeah. She's like, I mean, leading up to it. You know, she's like, yeah, it has been. And even though we got six weeks, that just like went by just like that. And you know, like, wow, it's here. Yeah, it's hard. And I was trying to put up Christmas decorations. I'm going to cry because I'm putting, I want to put baby Jesus up on the HQ door. And I remembered, HQ door doesn't exist anymore for us.

18:02Where does baby Jesus go? Baby Jesus was repossessed. I can't even do it. christy crying about putting up christmas decorations when she's just infested everybody's house with gigantic plaster home goods pumpkins for the holidays we just got the what are you gonna do without headquarters to store all the shit you buy for the holidays i mean that's massive i have a good friend my mom one of my mom's best friends is probably the sweetest person i've ever met in my life and she's obsessed with holidays and she has a whole unit that she takes this shit from and she has like movers come to the house and move in christmas move christmas out move in whatever the next easter or whatever she's like moving in and it's incredible like every room it's like years and years you see every year of home goods shit in this house it's crazy yeah well uh fun fact i don't know if you know this but uh every year for christmas christy uh puts Christmas lights on her Stanley cup and gathers the kids around it and they exchange gifts.

19:07I don't know why it shocks me, but you know, it's worth the pain. Hey Cole, can you bring over that ladder? I want to put this angel on top of the Stanley cup.

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21:13Then we go to Cole and Casey's house. And it's girls' night or girls' day. The girls are hanging out after Pilates or whatever. so it's tegan ali i don't know i think this is with all the girls yeah so um tegan's like okay cheers to girls night pilates and ali is like i don't do pilates but i mean i guess i can still cheers to pilates they have nothing happening in their lives that they're choosing to pilates and she's like um ali's like you know i don't get a whole lot of girls nights anymore because like my girls nights are spent with summer and i'm excited just like to hang out with the girls and like Jesse's been at the farm the last few days.

21:52So I've been kind of on my own. So Deegan's like, so hey girls, Pilates, am I right? So they sold the office. Where do you guys have the, so where are you going to have the tallow business, Casey? Everyone wants to know, where's that tallow at? And she's like, in my house. She goes, oh, cool. Hey, I saw it in the fridge. It's in my fridge right now. Really? I thought this was like a big$5 million business. You're just keeping the tallow. I really want to buy this tallow. that Casey's just like keeping in her fridge as she hand makes it and adds a little vanilla smell to it. She just keeps the jars open so it just absorbs the smell of the refrigerator.

22:31She's like, well, we had some salmon last night so we put some tallow in there for the salmon line. So Casey's like... We're selling tallow soda now. It's gonna be a $5 billion business. Unfortunately, Stephen didn't realize it was gonna blow up so big. So now he wants a percentage and then he wants to give 20 % of Allie for marketing. And they're like, what? 20 %? And she's like, yeah, but I created it. I mean, granted, using all of the dead cows from the McBee farm and the McBee farm to make it. And the vanilla from Christie's cabinet. But still. I'm actually on Casey's side here. Yeah. No, she created it.

23:15She should not be giving 20 % away to some twit. So Casey's like, she's like, he really puts me in an awkward position, but he's not going to give her 20 % of my business. Who was the one who came up with Sunny D flavor? Me. That's when I put the tallow and the Sunny D in the fridge together and they just absorb each other's smells. So she says, you know, he talked about this with Kala and it didn't happen. But like now he's got a girlfriend and now all of a sudden he wants to take my business and hand it off to her. Teagan's like, well, it seems like history is repeating itself, like Steve giving Galena part of the business and now Steven's wanting to give Allie part of your business.

23:54Yeah. Good point. Yeah, that's how the guys keep you in this show. They say that you have a percentage of something, so you're always kind of tied to them. I think probably Steve Jr. wasn't as much of a control thing of Galena as much as it was like, I'm not marrying you, So here's a percentage of this business. But Galena is at, we see Galena actually going there working. Like today, she's like, look at me. I am in businesswoman attire. You cannot say anything to me. I have glasses. How could you even say that? Galena is busy traveling this entire world trying to be famous in a real housewife.

24:32Look, there she is hanging out with Jill Zarin. And there she is hanging out with Alexis Bellino. Look, and there she is. She's just at the roadside taking a picture with a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle cutout. But whatever. She still thinks she's one of them. I love a turtle. So Casey's like, I want to build a business. I want to build it too, though. And by the way, Allie, let's change the subject to you now. Have you talked to Jesse about 10 Days of Intimacy? Because I do it with Cole. It really brings us closer together. Oh, my God. I don't want to hear about 10 days of intimacy with Cole. I need 10 days of bus tickets to fuck out of here.

25:17That's too much. I think I would rather watch two burlap sacks roll around on each other than these two have 10 days of intimacy. So Ali is like, he's like, yeah, he thought it was a joke. And I was like, no, it's real. So then he went to the farm and Casey's like, oh, so did you feel like he was avoiding you? No, Casey. He was definitely trying to be present by driving off three hours away to go to a farm and get trapped inside a combine. Well, it's kind of hard to know how he stands because he sure doesn't say a lot. He just kind of stands there and makes a real weird smile with his eyes poking this way and that way, kind of like I'm doing right now.

26:05I mean, this couple does belong together for that awkward pretend smile while their eyes are darting every which way. Yeah. They do have that. They do have shared awkwardness. That can bring people together. So then Casey lies on her side. She's like, what if you lie in the bed like this, all sexy like this is what I do? Deacon's like, yeah, that's like a mating call. Allie's like, is that what you do? Casey's like, no. I basically just leave a trail of Twizzlers. But I think I may try this. This seems fun. Yeah, that doesn't work for me, that laying on my side. That's, I think, the worst angle for me.

26:45I'm like, oh, geez. Okay, well, I thought it would be better laying down. Okay, but don't look at me from that angle. Look at me from above. Go to the edge. Go to the end of the bed. Stand on the other side of the bed. Okay, okay. Crane your head down just a little. Okay, that's it. Don't look at this part. You're getting close. You're getting close. So eight days until Steve Sr. reports to prison. And now we go to the McBee's coffee and car wash, which is funny because if you look at coffee and car wash, it looks like it says coffin car wash. So just send your coffins right in here.

27:22So Stephen walks into the car wash office where Galena is. He's like, now a decent time for you, Galena? She's like, yeah, sure. So Stephen says, For the past year, maybe the last two years even, it felt like Galena's been completely checked out of anything business. She'd been traveling the country, trying to be a celebrity, and this used to be the most important person in our entire country, our entire company, and maybe even our country too. So flashback, flashback. So Stephen is like, he's like, Galena's lack of focus affects the business, and we cannot have that, especially right now. Now, excuse me, I'm going to Texas.

27:57Excuse me while I make plane reservations to leave for an entire week. trying to impress Allie's family in Texas. Okay. This will be an entire scene of me berating the only person who actually works at this company while I go off to Texas. Okay, a couple of things. Galena is why I watch the show. I mean, I would watch Galena if she was like literally on any show. I would watch it. I would watch Galena. Law and Order Galena, I'm in. But saying like we really need her, this company is a failure. It's a huge failure. Every single season, you've lost bigger and bigger chunks of this company. So I'm not really sure how much credit I would give Galena or any of them as far as running a business.

28:43Second, you big fucking hippie. Like he literally sits there and yells at her. She's like, oh, really? So you boys are saying I do nothing? Do you know everything I have to do for these business? Like all the paperwork I have to put through when you guys are losing part of business all the time? And they're like, yes, that is what we were saying. You do not spend enough time at this business I love Austin, goodbye Hypocrite Yeah, seriously Well We are here I'm sorry My brain just completely flatlined For a moment there Well, now you know what it's like to be a McBee boy I was listening to Galena thing And I was looking at the notes And then suddenly my brain my brain just said you need a moment yeah so just keep scrolling way down so jesse's like this is like a real reality our bankers and our lenders are like they're seeing it whether it's like they have instagram and they're seeing you go to housewives party and what are they thinking about the car wash well first of all you're getting more publicity with someone being there And second of all, you guys have said multiple times that it's just on the weekends.

29:56So she's allowed to go somewhere on the weekends. Third of all, fuck off, you guys. Steven's such a hypocrite. He's leaving town right now. Give me a break. Yeah, exactly. It's just, well, also this whole thing of like, oh, she thinks she's a hath. She just wants to go be famous. What are you doing, Steven? We said this last week. You've been, this is like your, what, second or third reality show. Okay. And if you think that, like, I don't pay attention to Stephen McBee's Instagram or his life or anything. I don't know what goes on over there. But are you telling me that Stephen McBee is not making the rounds, going, hanging out with, you know, whatever celebrities he wants to hang out with?

30:35I guarantee he is doing the same exact thing. He seems on this show to just show up for filming because the boards are always complaining that he doesn't really do anything there. He doesn't know how to do anything there. Everybody else starts these businesses. Then Steve wants to come in and take credit for everything. You're right. It's like his second reality show. Then he's only dating like the perfect TV, perfect blonde with a huge following on Instagram, which would be good for TV. He dates her for like one week and then gets her cast with a contract and everything on his TV. I mean, no one does things more for TV than you.

31:10You fucking hypocrite, this guy. This guy is the worst. So Galena stands up for herself and she's like, what I gather is you guys think I'm not doing my job? Just so we're fucking clear. And they just stare at her like, yeah. And she says, okay, well, on this note, you can please get the fuck out of this office. Oh, really? Oh, yeah. You're going to kick us out of the office that we don't own? Yeah. And she just nods. She's like, fuck yeah, I am in a sports coat and glasses. You will listen to me. this entire tense conversation is happening well meanwhile like some like toyota salica is being like washed down below them and they're like i can't hear you under this over the sound of the whipping brushes so uh turn off your windshield wiper no turn them off turn the auto off it's gonna hey i brought my windshield wiper i told you that i ain't supposed to turn them off it's automatic so glena's like yes he's like she's like why don't you step into what i do here every day do you think it's easy to order more soap for car wash it's not please be my guest but this conversation's over yeah so um they do leave and cole's like well i mean maybe i don't know what she does or nothing but i'll tell you this much i could figure it the fuck out okay if you don't even know what she does why are you in this meeting you guys are such fucking posers get out someone just tell cole that in order to be a to run a car wash you have to first understand what it's like to be a car in a car wash and that he has to run through it while it's operating i just want to see him as the rags whip around his face like oh

33:00well it would be nice to see cole get a bath yeah it would be it really would be so yeah i love And then the boys are talking about, like, isn't it crazy? We used to just solve things with Dad, but now we don't have Dad. What's this farm going to do? So then it's seven days until Steve Sr. reports to prison. Urgency. Yeah. So we're at Christy's house, and Allie and Stephen arrive. And Allie's like, oh, my gosh, hello. You know what? This blue makes your eye pop so much. You know what? I could probably sell four million tops, four million duplicates of this top on my instagram i'm just that good at marketing wow oh thank you i want 20 of your top okay we're gonna do great things here i'm an influencer wow it's somebody's mom oh my god you look amazing are those new jeans she comes off as so fake fake and that's on this show it's all very fake but dang ally so steven's like one of the things that i admire so much about ally aside from the fact that she lets me journal from 4 a.m.

34:05to 6 a.m. and also from 10 p.m. to midnight. Because guess what? You have new things to journal about in between midnight and 4 a.m. But one of the things I love about her is that she's just like, she doesn't need a heads up. She's just like, she's the one encouraging me. She's like, hey, stop by your mom's. Let's say hi. In my last relationship with that bitch, I felt like I had to give a month-long notice if we were to see my mom for five minutes. Also, she's blonde. I love that about her. They're talking about plans for Thanksgiving, and he's like, yeah, mom, looks like I'm going down to Texas.

34:36She's like, oh, good, good. One thing that I am really happy about is my son leaving me on Thanksgiving to go to some girl's house and it's like our first Thanksgiving without your father and I really cared. I was just going to have Christmas delivered, but... It's all her inner thoughts. Yeah. She just gives this like plastic smile. She's like, mm-hmm, good. Good, honey. I do think it's inappropriate that he's going down to Texas on the last Thanksgiving that we're all together but I'm not allowed to say anything to a man. So therefore I'll just sit here and smile and be like, good, good. I'm so happy for you.

35:08I mean, what, this also like, I mean, listen, please don't confuse this as me actually caring about this family situation, but literally your dad is going off to prison in a week and you are going to spend that last Thanksgiving at Allie's house. You're not gonna spend it with your dad. And then you're gonna, then you're gonna complain and not understand why you weren't chosen to be interim president of this failing operation. Like, give me a break. I mean, this is actually really shitty. Don't make me stand up for Steve McBee Sr. on this, but like, this is a stupid dick move on Steve Jr.'s part.

35:46Yeah, pretty much. So he's like, well, Allie has put up with some pretty high standards that I need to meet to impress her family, especially, oh no, sorry, not put up with. Allie has put up some pretty high standards, okay? I need to impress her family, especially her dad. and she's told me over and over, shake his hand, look him in the eyes, have good conversation. He's a serious guy. So I'm a little nervous going into this trip. Can't wait to out for the fuck out of this old bastard. I know. So Ali's like, yeah, he's really unique. I mean, he's so cool. My dad is like so cool. Like he's like the best.

36:20I mean, for me, I have like a lot of internal pressure going home and bringing Steven home because like I won't take the next step with someone unless I know that my family is 100 % on board. Why are you taking a next step of that? Like, you guys just started dating, like, three weeks ago. Like, give it a rest. You guys can spend Thanksgiving separately. Yeah. It's also weird that she's not saying, why aren't you spending this with your dad? Yeah. Yeah, this whole thing. I don't know. I think in Steven's mind, it's like, well, everybody else, Thanksgiving, they're all going to have their babies, their partners.

36:54I don't even have a baby. I need to go over there and secure this baby. I'm going to do it. Secure a blonde woman. I hope this whole family's blonde. Everybody better be 5 '8 and blonde or I'm not going to have it. I'll tell you that much. They better let me journal in the morning and they better be willing to figure out memberships in the afternoon. We really need to have some deep memberships. What was the thing last week? Last week he said that like an ideal – this is like what a perfect day would be like with his dream woman. And he gave a very specific timeline. And one thing was like from 3 to 3.30, we are going to – we're going to recruit memberships.

37:31which didn't even make sense.

37:36Talent memberships. Okay, now listen here. Priority one, making sure your family's comfortable with me. I mean, she's sacrificed so much. She's canceled every single event trip she had planned to come up here and support us. I mean, look at all the trips she had. She is an influencer. She probably had trips to go from here to there to Timbuktu, and she didn't do it just so she could see Cole kind of cross his eyes, looked like a hole in a tree while he talked about how hard it was opening tractor doors. Okay? She gave up everything for us. So many event trips. What does that mean, an event trip?

38:11So, you know, so Christy's like, I think Steven needs to get away. I'm excited for her family to meet him. I guess, I mean, I guess maybe it would be like you can make an argument that Steven Jr., this is too hard for him and it's too hard for him to see his dad and it's like before he goes off to, I don't know, it's all bullshit. So we're back and Chris, no, no, we're not giving him anything. He's like, you know, it's not a great, great time for the McBee reputation. The name kind of carries a little bit of a black cloud with us. And she goes, it does, it does. I mean, but we'll get through it.

38:47It always does. And you said, your parents trust you. And Christie's like, I was very close to my dad and Allie is very close with her dad. and she wants her dad to see what she sees. And I understand that because I want so badly for my dad to like Steve. I think this is Allie saying this, not Christy. No, it's Christy. Christy's like, you know, I get it. Because I was supposed to be my dad too. And I wanted my dad to like Steve. And, well, that dream died. But, you know, maybe it'll work out for Steve Jr. This is going to be great for him. We can only just hope that all the men on this show are happy and approving of everything the women are doing.

39:28You know, fingers crossed. Yeah. Yeah. So, Stephen's saying like, wow, you know, like I just want her dad, you know, I got to start telling the days before I'm like, okay, now her dad would at least not smack me in the face if I'm like, hey, I want to marry your daughter. Maybe I shouldn't do that after the first day. Second day? What should I do? Dessert? Should I wait till dessert? I'm taking your daughter's hand in marriage You better accept it you poor motherfucker

39:57So uh Ali is like do you think that uh Like you think you think That you would say that on this trip He's like I'm not pulling any time frames on anything Okay and she's like well but you said it I mean that's what that's I was just like Wait a minute what huh huh huh She's like I mean there's no rush and I really hope That he wouldn't do like something like that like Ask me about marriage without Talking to me first lady you're in the world of the McBees. They don't talk to the women first about their choices. Good luck. He's literally talked to you about nothing but marrying you since we've seen you guys on this season.

40:32He's talked about it every single day, every five fucking seconds with you. And she gave him already a detailed description of what she wants for her ring. He's like, okay, I know this about her ring. It needs to be five and a half centimeters square, emerald here. He goes like through the whole list. She's like, oh, I hope he would certainly talk to me about marriage. Oh, okay. Yes, that's true. That's true. And she already has given all the details of everything. So now we're at Cole and Casey's house, and Allie is driving, and Casey's in the passenger seat. Well, Cole, this was so funny. They're in this, like, I don't know, like a Chevy Yukon or something, one of these enormous SUVs.

41:16And so Allie is driving, Casey's in the passenger seat. Yukon or something. No, but you know, it's like this enormous SUV. And Cole is in the way, way, way, way, way back. I was like, why are you sitting so far away? He was in the 10th row of this car. He's like, hey, I'm back here. I'm Cole. What are you doing back there? You can take a seat a little closer to the front. What is that noise back there? Cole, are you trying to figure out how to put on a seatbelt? He's like, yeah, I'm not really sure how this worst back here but okay hold on a second let me just try another hole i just want to know i'm having 10 days of intimacy with this seat belt hold on let me just keep trying holes until one of them's up there we go nailed it i just want to see what it feels like to be some costco groceries coming back from the store wow it's really cool back here so um uh he really is having they really are having seatbelt issues it is something that that that comes up and so Allie's like, Cole, how was your day?

42:17He's like, it was good. It was pretty interesting. I learned a lot. Like what? Well, guess where Steven's going this Saturday? Ace Hardware? No, guess again. That place that's next to Ace Hardware? You mean the 7-Eleven? Yeah. No, guess again. The other place next to the Ace Hardware? That's a hair transplant place. Yes, he is going there, but that's going to be after. He's going to go betray mama and go hang out with Allie's family in Texas over Thanksgiving for a whole week. And they're like, what? What? That's crazy. I mean, I want him to go down there and meet her family. And that's definitely next step for him.

42:57But being the last week that we get to see Dad, I don't know. And Casey's like, yeah, I wouldn't have expected nothing different. Hey, Casey, why are you reclining that way in the chair? 10 days of intimacy. Why are you laying on your side like that? We're supposed to be driving. So then, let's see. We find out that Jake is having a birthday. Jake is as close to us as anybody. He's like the fifth McVie. He were any closer to us, he'd be under investigation for some. I know. Commercials. Here comes one right now. Losing weight can be like trying to roll a wheelbarrow up a hill. You can do it, but it's so much better and easier with support.

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45:45And so they get to this brewery and Allie is not there because she's sick as a dog. So congrats, everyone. You're all getting Allie's germs from Steven. And they're like, man, that's too bad. They all sing happy birthday to Jake. and Jake, Stephen's like, so what you up to, birthday boy? You gonna hit it hard or not? You gonna get drunk? You gonna do something crazy? You wanna have sex? And Jake is like, no, I think I'm having, I think the hitting it hard days are well behind me. I don't hit things hard. I'm Jake. And they... Paul's like, well, you probably need to start thinking about when you're gonna get on the knee because that's what you gotta do.

46:25You gotta propose to somebody. Seems like if you don't do it, I'm going to beat you to it. How bad would that look if I beat you to it? Tegan may end up leaving you in the night if I beat you down the aisle, which I just might. After Ali's dad falls in love with me and tells me I'm the best thing that ever happened. All he wanted was a strap at six foot four. Boy, he's looking for a five foot girl who's blonde and journals. Speaking of beating, you want to beat off later tonight? You know, he says beat a lot. He says beat a lot. I'm like, you know, with someone with anger issues, you really shouldn't use that word so much.

46:56so um jake is uh yes jake's birthday and everything and jesse's saying with everything going on steven going down to texas to meet our family like he's only 31 but it feels like he's 50 or 60 years old and it feels like he's running out of time he's definitely pushed why isn't any why don't any of these brothers say anything to steven be like yo don't go down to don't go down to thanksgiving with ali you need to be here with us with the family like no one says anything Yeah, so the girls are all sitting like at a little couch or something, doing what you do in bars, you know, mixing formula for your baby.

47:35And Stephen, Casey's like, I'm real nervous to talk to Stephen because I don't want Allie to get 20 % of nothing, but then I have to talk to Stephen about it and I'm scared. They're like, just go talk to him. So then back to the boys, he's like, well, yeah, I was looking at rings. She showed me one and she's like, it's not that bad. It's like 55. And they're like, wait, 5 ,500? 55 ,000, you idiots. Great. I mean, geez. Love it. Love to see that people are being put out of work on your farm. HQ's closing, but you're going to spend 55 ,000 on a ring for this person you've known for 45 days. So Stephen's like, I don't know if you know who I am, but I'm going to be spending my life savings and putting 25 grand on a ring.

48:19and Stephen says, Alley's a five ring size. Wait, hold on. Here it is. Yellow gold color, two stones on the side with the center stone, emerald, no halo, no cushion. And I have no idea what any of that really means, but I've got it in my notes. I'll tell you this much. He better not surprise me with an engagement proposal. So Jake's like, whoa, do I look like I've seen a ghost? Yeah, you look like you've seen a ghost. He's like, pretty much did. the ghost of all of your money yeah seriously you're too poor for this yeah they have to by the way they have to start really leaning into Jake is like a member of the family so that way Jake doesn't turn around and sue them when he realizes that like he's like owed like probably thousands of dollars from this failing company so Casey right like it's funny how they really start amping up I mean Jake has been there the past you know for a while but like they're really going to lean into the family thing like, hey, Jake, we won't be able to pay you this week, but you know how it is.

49:20But you're like family to us, so you know we'll make it good. Anyway, I'm going to pay$55 ,000 for this ring. One thing this family does not do is fuck each other over. Whoops, Cole, Jesse, sorry. Your properties are listed under shady deals the dad has done. You're probably going to lose everything. Okay, never mind. Let's talk about Ally's ring. So Casey's like, um, Stephen, do you want to go talk? He's like, yeah, okay. So they go outside, and And Casey's like, um, I just want to tell you, I'm not going to give Allie 20%. So now he's like steroid rage eyes. He's like, this is the most pessimistic thing I've ever heard about telebusinesses.

49:57And she's like, I mean, she can do sales and I want her to get paid for sales and it's new business. It's my business though. And I think we should like go into business first and see how we work together. So then he just does the, like trying to hard sell her. He's like, oh, well, Ali has over 250 ,000 followers. Her entire page has been about her skincare journey. Do you know how hard it is for a gorgeous 20-something-year-old to have decent skin? It is very hard. She looks so young. She looks like she is in her 20s. Everybody looks to Ali for skincare being in her 20s. It's like, what better content creator would there be than to have a before and after of her promoting the skincare?

50:41She's already got perfect, flawless, probably plastic surgery, smoothed out, lasered skin. There is no before, Stephen. What are you talking? I looked up Allie's before, and she's gorgeous then, and she's gorgeous now. It's a totally different face, but they're both beautiful. But you're not getting some new before from Allie. She's already got perfect skin. So that one's failing. And he's like, this is pure business perspective. And she does nothing but social media. and you need her. And Casey's like, well, but I want help and I want to do something together, but I want to grow the business.

51:16But like 20 % of Allie, I just don't feel comfortable yet. Oh, really? So you expect her just to come on board and promote your skincare line over another skincare line? Yeah, for money. She'll be getting a percentage of whatever she sells. Give them coupon code, you know, Kala, you know, Kala in a different font. So, yeah, I, well, first of all, it would be like a sort of sister-in-law. So I would expect actually a little bit of like, Hey, I'll help you out, but she would be getting paid. I love when Steven says that, um, Allie has a finance degree. He's like, and furthermore, she has a finance degree.

51:53I'm like, you have a full fucking MBA and your farm is in the shitter. So I, a little farm, a finance degree, uh, I'm not taking that too seriously. Yeah. And she's like, but I want to see what McBee farms can do for marketing first. And he's like, oh, really? Okay, listen. Would you rather a tiny piece of a giant pie and then have the team that's helping you every step of the way, or would you rather take it all, all the stress, all the logistics of trying to figure it out on your own and brand never getting to the point it wants to be? Because we are already behind in orders. Okay, well, whose fault is that, though?

52:32You're going to be taking 40 % of this, and no one's helping her with anything. You can't just come into something without doing anything and demand all of this. This is crazy to me. And I guess that McBee should get some because it is their dead cows and everything that they're using and their farm and all of that. But this 20 % to Allie is cuckoo. Yeah, the whole thing is absolutely crazy. And he's being really mean to Casey. And he is and he knows he can intimidate her. And it's like shitty that he's trying to pull that card. And the fact that he's also like acting as if Allie is the second coming of Barbara Corcoran.

53:11It's like, let's relax. Okay, she is someone who is hot and has followers because she's hot and therefore is able to sell things. And so Stephen's like, if Allie's going to teach you the skills that you need to market the thing via social media and push it, there is substantial value there. There is so much more than just a talent business here! No, I think it's the talent business. And you can't tie your entire company to one influencer that's also legit crazy like oh wow ali uckland the face of mcb kidney juice like gross and it's just that's not a one influencer thing and you guys have a tv show that presumably hundreds of thousands of people watch 20 is such a high percentage yeah it's such a high percentage like when you watch shows like the shark tank and they're always like i will give you, you know, like$400 ,000 for like 5 % equity.

54:06You know, it's like, it's crazy. It's crazy that he's going to try to take 20 % for Allie. Like, Allie can maybe get 1%, maybe. She shouldn't even be getting a percentage at all, because she's basically, in my mind, a contractor, you know? But this is just so unreasonable, and he's so mean to her about it. And he basically is like, I think that this is, so So Casey's like, well, I just don't want to have another Galena situation like with your dad. And that really gets the one going. And I was like, good for you, Casey. Good for you. The light's turned on at last. He gets psycho eyes twitching back.

54:44You see him start to twitch and go into one of his rages. He's like, you've got to be fucking kidding me. Now, this is a lot different than my dad and Galena in that by this time next year, Ally may have my last name. So what about that? I'm going to beat my dad. I'm going to beat my dad to the punch as far as marriage goes. What about that? I beat daddy. And I don't want to call you out. But the issue isn't necessarily just the sales with Talo. We are sitting on orders since early October. We are going to kill the business if we do not stay on top of orders. Then why aren't you guys helping her with the business?

55:17Like, this is crazy. Your company is falling. Your company has failed. They're literally coming with fucking tractors to take your shit out of there because you failed yet again and you're going to get on her about this instead of offering her help. You're an ass. But also like if the logic is that Allie is going to have the McBee family name, then why does she need to have the 20 % if she's going to marry into the 40 % anyway? So that may be a reductive way to look at it, but literally I also don't fucking care. So Casey is like, she's like, I've been saying for the last month that I need help and I need help and I'm just, I'm saying I want help.

55:55I just, I just don't understand. So you're accepting the help in what way? Do you think you're going to hire me for$15 an hour to build a damn website? So then she goes off and starts crying. No, no, no. I'm sorry. She's not hiring you and offering you minimum wage. You're taking 40 % of the company. What does McBee Farm do in return for the 40 %? That's part of it. Running a business is marketing, and it is helping with orders. it's not just like finding some girl that meets your physical requirements to give away shit to for doing Howie hasn't even said anything to her this is infuriating so then Casey is like Teagan goes to console her and she's like he sits there and talks to me like a fucking child like the whole time and I just want to go home I just want to go home and Stephen's like what did I say something and she's like no and she's like okay well that's the last fucking conversation you better understand Then he's like.

56:55So now he starts screaming at production. Yeah. Yeah, screaming at production, telling him, this is the last time we're talking about it. And that is it. That is final. He's like trying to take off his mic, throwing his mic and then storming off. Oh, what a jackass. Well, guess what? It's six days until Steve Sr. reports to prison, guys. It's just getting so tough. So tough.

57:19So Stephen's packing. Stephen Jr. is packing for Texas. Should I bring multiple cowboy hats? Yeah, nothing says poser like having a different cowboy hat every single day, you phony. So they drive off, and now it's four days until senior, reports to prison. Bloop, bloop. Now we're at Jesse and Allie's city house, and Christy comes over. And she's visiting with Jesse. It's just as charismatic as ever. And she's like, well, hi. Have you heard from Stephen on almost Thanksgiving? I sure miss him. it's so hard having not my son here and we're this close to killing a turkey and he's like well i haven't seen him but he looks pretty like he's having a whole lot of fun on social media she's like really he's like yeah i always see a photo of steven with some horses that say real day at the ranch and then he's in a santa claus outfit which i'm like hello did thanksgiving already happen or did it not happen um and he's and then they we see a video of um steven with the whole family and like the video's like we told steven that we always say the pledge of allegiance before family dinner and so they say it and then they all started laughing it's like haha you just got punked and he's like that's very funny that was a joke yeah it was a joke oh i was like oh my gosh i re-watched it a few times just to make sure but you know that steven was like this is a great idea we're gonna do this at the new hq i didn't even get that let me tell something i will never forget the first time i went to a cracker barrel and um i went into the bathroom and you know they they're always playing the music and the cracker barrel like and then eventually at one in between the songs this guy came on and goes i pledge allegiance to the united states i pledge allegiance to nuts i forget how it goes i pledge the flag to the flag of the united states of america and to the republic for which it stands one nation under god indivisible but liberty and justice for all and i was like why is this why is this playing on in the middle of the music at the cracker barrel i mean i know why it's playing but it just was so random to be like this is the interstitial in between songs yeah that's their dj every once in a while they're like oh we just wanted to come on here and remind you well you've got your penis in your hand and you're waiting for your chicken and dumplings you are in the greatest country in the world it's like the united states of america it was so do not forget to get your danielle steel book on tape which you can rent and return to another cracker barrel on your way home before you buy that fudge on the way out of the store just remember that's american fudge made in america so um yeah and the the instagram stories or whatever they're posting they're i think this is the point where they're all ally being like oh my god when your boyfriend is like running with horses oh my god that's one when your boyfriend is dressed like santa closet your rant when your boyfriend is saying the pledge of allegiance before dinner pov your boyfriend just walked in the door and he's about to ask you about marriage but i'm like too much right so now jesse and christy are back to talking about how dad wants to have a meet and they have no idea what this company-wide meeting is going to be and of course it's when steven's not even in town for the company-wide meeting as the family is going to shit and the dad is leaving and has to announce the new successor.

1:01:03So Steve is just not even there. The one who just lectured who just lectured Delina about not being serious enough doesn't even show up to the fucking company-wide. I can't. Yeah, he's missing the entire company-wide meeting. And Christy is like, I don't know why for some reason they decided to have me be here at this meeting. I don't understand at all. so yeah so they are um they're all gathering for this zoom session um and i love cole saying it's a full meeting right well no i'm sorry it's a full meeting but people are doing a zoom people are zooming in because some are remote like stephen and christy and others and i just love cole being like we're finally all meeting at the car wash today with everybody guys get ready the big car this is definitely not succession i think they're trying to make it seem like succession i'm like they are not gathering at the car wash on succession

1:02:07uh so piano music tinkling in the back it's like yeahIA just to interrupt the succession theme songторы

1:02:21Well,

1:02:26we see him Coughin's into a table, so everyone just gather around here. So it is coffin and car wash? Yeah. Three days until Steve Sr. reports to prison. Bloop, bloop, bloop. So we go to McBee Farm and Cattle Stakeholder Meeting. And Cole's like, wow, we're finally on meeting at the car wash today. Galena's taking off all the locks on the doors. We're allowed back in the building. That's pretty fun. Before we start, does anyone want an ice cream Snickers bar? We've got a whole cooler downstairs. Does anyone want any air fresheners before we start this meeting? Okay. It's on the house. So then we get Steven Jr.

1:03:11Who's joining via Zoom. He's like, hey, it's me, Steven Sr. I just want to go over a couple of quick org charts. What I don't want to do is leave and have any questions on who's in charge. This is how the hierarchy goes. God, why am I here? I'm just Christy. You know, it's crazy. Like, I could be doing something else right now. Like, I don't know, spending the next two hours filling up my Stanley Cup. It takes a very long time. I guess it's important. I was about to figure out how to get that Jesus on top of the tree and then this. So, the producer's like, who do you think is a logical choice for your dad to lead?

1:03:50Well, obviously it's me. Sorry, boys. But I'm the one who's here. I got an MBA. I got a girlfriend who's got a finance degree. and I got a cowboy hat for every day of the week when I'm in Texas. Does anyone else have a girlfriend with 250 ,000 followers? So then Brayden's like, yeah, hi, I'm Brayden. I'm here. I'm the fourth. Remember when they said Jake's the fifth McBee? I'm the fourth one, if you're wondering. Hey, it's me, Cole with the wig. Cole with the perm. I'm the wig. It's the perm. It's perm Cole. Perm Cole. He's like, wow, this is going to get tense. Hey, everyone. Okay, well, you know what?

1:04:30Flip the slideshow over and let's look at the org chart. And so we see this big chart on the screen, and it says Steve McBee, Sr., President. Steve Jr., CEO. Galena, CFO. Cole, cattle manager. Jesse, one day we'll learn to open a tractor door. And Christy McBee, interim president. Dun, dun, dun. Brayden's like I'm not even on the chart Brayden's like what the heck Steve Sr.'s like well you can't be on the chart until you get rid of that Julia Child hair he's like aww dad

1:05:08what are you an extra and physical come on get with it boy so Chris is like well Steve McBee does a lot of crazy things but this making me interim president of the whole company whatever will I do well i mean obviously that to me felt very much like a made for tv moment but i also felt like it was a smart move because she actually is running a successful business and actually like i think it's painful that we don't get to see her being a badass and having like a hugely successful company we just see her kind of just like arriving at houses with her drink and being like boys will be boys i'm like i know that christy actually has more substance than they show um and i think they do her a disservice and so i was kind of like well you know what actually christy like it doesn't make any sense and this is like a big fuck you to the sons but also steven jr you didn't go to thanksgiving the last thanksgiving with your dad i mean he could get shanked in prison this may be the last time you ever see him and you're down in texas with the flavor of the month so yeah i fully supported this one thing that i'm surprised that christy doesn't say is that he's completely fucking her over i mean this is a company that is in major trouble it's got huge you know they've got a lot of investigations they've got all of this shit going on and then he's getting a little miss chris perfect christy and he's going to tangle her in all of this shit and i think that that is absolutely shitty and she seems pissed about it and i think that's why she's pissed she's like i don't want to be but like entangled with your company are you kidding yeah you want me to go to jail too and so which just goes to show that all these guys all these bing b guys are just like in a giant you know like circle jerk together they have no idea what they're doing i don't think can you even just like name someone president who didn't put their who didn't agree to it you can't just like force someone to be president of a company like it's just all yeah it's so it's so silly that's true you know and so um and i was like i kind of like the idea of her running it because I think she would actually fix it.

1:07:14But also, like, what? This doesn't make any sense. Like, it makes zero sense whatsoever. So, unless, of course, God forbid I say it, it was something completely fake and fabricated for TV. That would never happen on the McBee Dynasty. Yeah, that was probably it, too. But he also wanted somebody with clean hands to come in here because luck going down. So, Stephen is, of course, enraged. He's like, I cannot believe what this org chart says. did Casey make this? This is bullshit. I am mind blown, taken aback, and shocked. All three. Equally. Equally. I am furious. Meanwhile, Steven's taking this meeting and the bench outside of a gas station.

1:07:55It's not unlike where they had the season finale meal on Real Housewives of Potomac. She's just out there. It's like, yeah, it seems like you're really taking this seriously. So he's furious. So all the boys take their turns being shocked. I'm real shocked. Mama's up there. I mean, I don't know. What's mama doing up there? My dad never ceases to amaze me how much chaos he can create. Now you just wait, because this next five minutes of TV is going to be full of the word chaos. We're all going to use it 20 ,000 times. Chaos, chaos, chaos. That's you, daddy. You, daddy. Chaos. Two days until Steve Sr.

1:08:31reports to prison. Bloop. Yeah. Bloop. So. They're in the office. It's also the last few days of HQ, guys. It's going to be the end of HQ. so Stephen's saying how it's colder here than it is in Texas so wow his power of observation is unparalleled that the place that's more north than Texas is a little bit colder Cole is like yeah it's nice down there it's freezing up here ain't it he's like yeah and so he tells us my last conversation with Casey did not go as planned my passion was mistaken for aggressiveness oh your passion oh it's just passion Man, okay. Yeah. Okay. So when you threw that microphone off of your back and threw it onto the ground, that was just passion.

1:09:19Passion for Talo. Oh, yes. Yelled at Casey, then yelled at production. Oh, yeah. Sorry. Easy mistake. Easy mistake. I thought it was aggression, but it was just passion. You know? So Steven's pissed. He's like, what in the world is mom being – what is mom the head of every single company for? Just when I thought we had a good plan moving forward with my dad going away, Captain Chaos, yet again, comes in to stir the pot chaotically like a chaos chaos. You know, throw a rock at the hornet's nest. Get every hornet all chaosed. That's what he did. Chaos. And I was telling, I was just saying, why is Mama at the top of this?

1:09:56She's got her own business. She's got other things to do. So they call Mama in. Christy has to come. And she just looks like, oh, Jesus, what, why? Why am I being dragged? She comes in and she's like, Mama, you sit down. We're just talking. I am confused. Why are you the head of this business? What did you ever do to get this business? Whoa. There's that passion again. That passion. Basically what he's saying is, This is my toy. This is my toy. It's not your toy. Why? You have my toy. That's not fair. It should be my toy. Give me my toy. Give me my toy. I'm going to cry. I'm going to cry. Give me my toy.

1:10:29Give me my toy. Yeah, pretty much. Yeah. And he's like, no offense. And she's like, yeah, but I do have my own business, honey Here's one thing I will say for you positively, mom You may not know what the fuck you're doing as far as our businesses go I don't know why you got it But you have this going for you You are 5 '8 and you are blonde

1:10:53Oh, I'm sorry, honey You were talking to my Stanley Cup I put a little wig on it I'm actually only 5 '6

1:11:02well i have no idea why this is going on boys i mean i don't have nothing to do with the businesses i mean i just don't know i can give you advice but you know your daddy chaos that's what i've been saying say it again i love that word chaos your daddy's chaos captain chaos give my toy back so she's basically like i don't want anything to do with this so i shouldn't have been on that slide. It's not mine. I'm going to support you. I'm going to support you because boys will be boys. But that's it. This is for you guys. I'm only doing this because I'm hashtag boy mom.

1:11:41So he calms down a little after he hears that his mom doesn't even want the company. I think at first he's like, what does she do to get this company? I don't even want it. So it calms him down a little bit. And then we go to Cole feeding the cows and Blair's on his lap in the tractor. Seems unsafe. And then we go to Stephen's house. They're sitting on the couch. Oh, God. Stephen and Allie. There's the other Allie. Yeah, I was like, why is he with Allie? But he's with... It's so annoying that there's two Allies on this show. Like, it's... Just know that Stephen's Allie has an E and Jesse's Allie has no E.

1:12:22so no I'm not going to input that into my brain I don't care this show is doing enough to me without getting multiple Allie spellings in my head well the extra E stands for enterprising or maybe I should say entrepreneur

1:12:42for chaos so Stephen goes so Allie have you talked to your parents anymore since we've been back? Did you explain to them that I'm just a man full of passion and not aggression, just passion? And she's like, yeah. Because I feel bad because I feel like I didn't have a whole lot of time to spend directly with your family. And I think I was a little stressed out too, obviously knowing everything that was on the back at home. And I think I did struggle with being fully present when my dad was going away. And I know there were times I seemed overwhelmed whenever you were down there. I guess maybe I had some passion.

1:13:20I'm like, okay, what really happened? By the way, you can't give the excuse of, oh, sorry, I was a dick to you and your whole family down there because I was distracted by my dad going away because you should have been up there in Kansas City the entire time, you dipshit. You purposely went away while your father was going away. Yeah, Stephen went there and made an ass out of himself somehow because this is one of Stephen's like, well, I know that last night didn't go as planned, but it's just my passion it's the same thing so he did something at this place like how to fit or got in an argument with the dad or sold or locked himself in the room yeah something really really bad because ally's face is like oh yeah well i mean prior to going they knew we were moving fast and like uh you know like uh i was like they're gonna see how close we are you know They're going to see it, but it didn't really happen.

1:14:12But, you know, I don't know. He's like, well, you know, my family sees it. Look at my family. They see it. She looks terrified of saying anything otherwise to you. Yeah, because she's like, her whole thing is that she really wants her family's approval. And she was like, I mean, I just thought like, you know, I knew that we're going fast. And like, I also thought like our connection just like so insane and they're going to see it immediately. And then it just like was, it just was crickets. which was when I had to admit to Steven, I'm actually a cricket and I've been transformed into an old woman for two months, but then I go back to my cricket life and I have to find a husband before I become a cricket again.

1:14:50Otherwise, I'll never find love again. It's very important that my family accepts him. Otherwise, I will be a lonely cricket the rest of my life. Yeah, so the family was not into him. And so she's like, oh, you don't have my family's approval. Now what? She's like, well, I was going to ask you to marry me. I was going to ask your dad for your hand. She's like, yeah, I don't think you would have liked that. She's like, you know, I mean, you and I aren't going anywhere. And I know how that sounds, and I really do mean it that way. But what I mean is we don't have to get married right away. There's no rush, you know.

1:15:20I'm still going to be five foot eight and blonde tomorrow. Yeah, but will you still want to do memberships with me in the afternoon and send our children to a private school of our choosing? What if somebody beats me down the aisle? so um he's like you know i mean i'm not like my brothers who are gonna sit on their hands and ponder a decision for eight or ten years i need five minutes to know you are blonde enough to marry let's do it and she's like oh yeah bloop bloop steve senior reports to prison one day finally we get to see this fucking no no no no no no ronnie no that would be way too merciful for this show to actually move the story along.

1:16:03Instead, it's the day before and everyone's got to go to HQ for the grand finale of HQ. The last day, the series finale of HQ. So now we're at HQ and now we've got to give a sad moment to say goodbye to HQ and Steven's taking down a sign that says Country Kitchen because they had a nice little kitchen in there because they would have all the employees come in and they'd eat their meals. They'd have like sort of family meals in there which is nice, I guess. And Tessa's like, I'll never forget. Thank God this sign doesn't say city kitchen. That would be horrifying. I'll never forget when your daddy told me, he said, Tessa, I'm going to build you the best kitchen money can buy.

1:16:45I'm like, was this the best kitchen money can buy? So then Stephen's like, I had envisioned years and years of great meetings, fun dinners, Tessa cooking, hell, even one day passing this HQ. These farms down to my kids. Kids, congratulations. You got an HQ. So then we see like test memories. I'll never forget the first time I ate beans in this country kitchen. And I said, wow, these beans smell like gas. I was cooking right off after I got off work. Happy to mind, honey. Well, I have so many memories. Watching Tessa boil some frozen succotash in that pot. Boil some frozen mac and cheese in that pot.

1:17:20Boil some frozen chicken in that pot. We'll never have it the same.

1:17:27so now Jake gets into a tractor very manly and Stephen and Jake are on the front part of the tractor and Cole's driving and wait did Tessa already give her speech or is this later I love Tessa's little speech let's just go back to Tessa's speech because that's all I care about because basically all that happens is they take down the sign oh yeah we see them take down the sign yeah that's true They take down the sign. They get them in the tractor and have to figure out how to work the tractor and then take down the McBee Farm sign. Yeah. What a shame. What a shame. By the way, oddly enough, I think Jake is the hottest of all these guys.

1:18:08I think most people say Steven or Jesse, but I think Jake is the hottest now. I think it actually goes, Jake, breathe in. Yeah, Jake's the hottest, and we tell you why. Because we don't know anything about him, and he never speaks. And that is how a Bravo man stays on top. I do like how every single one of them looks like a hand puppet from like the senior Wentz's hand puppet.

1:18:30I also think Jake's probably the best because his partner seems the least traumatized. Tegan seems like the most normal. Just easygoing and fine. You know, she doesn't seem like she's upset. She's the only woman on the show who's not like not afraid to talk. Because whenever the guys around, they're always like, um, can I speak now? but like Tegan's just like hey girl what's going on so I'm like okay so they probably have a healthy relationship oh that does sound fucked up it sounds like I shouldn't like Casey because she's in a situation with like guys who are like toxic but it's more just like we're able to see Tegan's personality as a result better well we're not dissing Casey it's the men it's the men the men are just dipshits I was just finding a way to take another shot at the guys but it sort of sounded like I was saying it actually sounded a little fucked up the way I said it so I'm just I'm unfucking it up I'm just saying Tegan and Jake are the best in this group so far and you're right it's because we know little about them yeah well especially the guys because you know I loved Jesse until a couple weeks ago and now he's like so dead soon alright Tessa's monologue Tessa's crying she's like how's your daddy doing you made me so proud boss coming down memory lane I'm trying not to cry.

1:19:47Now, I remember this. Your daddy said I want to give my boys a legacy. And after every single part of this business has failed, I've said, well, you're doing great, boss man. And as this one is taking down, I'm so proud of you, boys. I'm so proud of you. What are you proud of? They fucked up every single thing that has been touched. Tessa. They're disasters. They're full disasters. Well, guess what? Now it's time to go to South Dakota. because the day has come. It's the day that we've all been really totally apathetic about. It is Stephen McBee senior is going off jail. So everyone, uh, the guy who you don't ever get to see on a show that's about him is about to go somewhere else where we won't see him.

1:20:32Um, so they're, they've all, they, they, uh, rented this, like, um, a camper to drive Steve senior up to jail. And they, uh, And they're like, we want to squeeze out every last minute with this guy. So they won't even show him on the camper. So he's like off camera on the camper. But we just sort of see them. And here's what's also fucked up. This is actually arguably the most emotional scene of the season. And this is an impactful moment. And it's all kind of just like edited in this like slapdash way. There's like, we don't see moments. We don't have like conversations here. It's just sort of montage-y and weird.

1:21:13it's just another garbage scene on a garbage show they show everybody crying sorry like sorry i go and i got a little angry there no i don't disagree with you i mean the campus scene didn't you know it's like this should have actually been an emotional moment like this should have been like a moment of like tears like we see we they're they're all they're reflecting to us about how they feel and we see shots of them like crying the guys are crying on there but like we don't actually they don't actually let us access the emotion of this scene i just think it's just like whoever's making this show is just failing left and right to me it's the people who make secret lives of mormon wives i found out oh wow it's not crazy okay they make a lot of shows actually jeff jenkins productions oh okay our old bina murray uh co-workers I guess you could say yeah they make a lot of you know really popular reality shows so it's not they do this is just made by you know some losers it's just they have a lot of losers on it also it's hard to act it's hard to get the emotions on the show because it's a like you said it's about a lead character who refuses to be on camera yeah the first season because on the first And I'm not sure why, so I shouldn't say because.

1:22:36But on the first season, we really saw what a horrible human being this man is. I mean, his kids, you know, especially, you know, the things we see from Steven and his temper and the way he treats women. Like, these guys are all, you know, just apples from that tree. And that tree is rotten. He is horrible. and how he treated Galena and his other girlfriend that season, who was the one, did you see the episode where Galena went to make it right with her? She's like, hello, I'm here to make it right with you. She's like, Galena, you hurt me. You hurt me as a woman and as a person. Okay, well, I'm here to make it right.

1:23:14You killed me deep in myself. Anyway, that lady he treated like she. Just to see, you don't have these clips of showing him as this nice, loving person that could make you feel something, right? Like, wow, remember what a great guy Stephen was? No, he's a piece of shit. And now he's going to prison and might have indicted, you know, might have gotten his kids in trouble as well. As everything he bragged, as he shattered all of their dreams that he told them about when they were little kids. Like, look at what I'm building for you. Look at what I'm doing for you. He's a fucking, he's a jackass and a crook.

1:23:48And there's no clips to show. So what are you supposed to get? But also, like, they have him on a bus. I know that he doesn't want to be on the show, but like he's been on the show in the past. He's like, and I should say in the past two or three last season and this season, he's popped up here and there. So we have an entire, what are we episode six or so we're this far into the season. Everything has been about this guy going to jail. This entire episode is nine days, seven days, six days, but now it's the, now it is the moment. and all that we get on this like drop-off moment is basically the guy saying how hard this is going to be for them.

1:24:24And then he basically, we see Steve Senior. We, I don't know if we, we don't even see him. We just hear him say, Casey, you good? She's the rock here. He goes, I'm ready to get rid of you. He goes, that's why I love you. And then he gets out and we just see him walk into the jail. I was like, you did all of this and we don't even get like a payoff? Are you kidding me? like I'm not I just want to see how this payoff though the payoff is is the family like whatever they're going through on that bus like they're not like the conversation like a conversation they're having or whatever they literally just give like three lines of dialogue and then it's it I was like the whole episode is like the countdown and it's like okay bye I was like what it's crazy dad walking into the jail so he goes to prison everyone's crying And then we get a Steve Senior voiceover.

1:25:18And he's like, you know, father, it's probably the most rewarding experience. It's my job to make sure I protect them. Doing a great job so far. I just want to prevent them from making the same mistakes. And I just want my kids to have more than I have. And if you guys want kids to have more than you have, it starts with when you're giving them too much. You guys better bust their ass and make them earn it just like I did you guys. So then Steven Jr. is like, I don't want to say that it's broken our spirit, but we're damn close to being there. All I know is I'm going to be here for my family and be here for my family and going back down to Texas to make things right with a different family.

1:25:59And we're going to make it through this. I'm going to go down to Texas and slash the tires of Allie's daddy. You are the most pessimistic person. I'm going to jail, fella. we're stronger than we're stronger than ever moving forward and I'll be damned if that doesn't happen yeah wow I wonder what's going to bring down the farm next week this is the worst thing that has ever happened to this farm this could mean destruction of the farm we ran out of soap at the car wash everything's done it's over

1:26:29wow okay well that they sure did it I thought it was going to be the whole season waiting to watch them go off to jail So I'm actually quite happy that he's in jail for all my complaining. Like I, I was merciful. I was, I was happy that it was not drawn out, but I just thought it was like just strange storytelling to just have it also be so swept under the rug. They just goes off to jail, but I'm looking forward to actually how this show will now hopefully evolve. Now that the dad isn't going, isn't around, maybe they can shift the focus to something else. Cause man, it's just been a, it's been so somber.

1:27:03It's not going to be like that. They're going to be like, now it's 180 days until Steve Sr. comes out of prison. Blair even know who he is. Blair. Yeah. They're going to be, Blair's never even going to learn numbers or anything. All of her flashcards are going to be like, Stephen Sr. Stephen Sr. again. This is Grandpa. Stephen Sr. again. Grandpa. Grandpa Stephen Sr. Yeah. All right, everybody. Well, thanks so much for being here today. This was a fun one. Go check out all of our other recaps. We also just started Real Housewives of London. We'll be back tomorrow with some Valley and Next Gen NYC.

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