#3480 House of the Dragon S03E06: You Probably Think This Song is About You

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1:42Ronnie Karam: One, two, three, four.

2:12Ronnie Karam: Well, hello and welcome to Winter is Crappening, a House of Dragon podcast, House of the Dragon podcast, sorry. I'm Ronnie, that's Ben over there. Hello, Ben. hello ronnie how are you thank god it was a pretty rewarding night on house of the dragon just a week so thanks guys thanks hobo max love that if you want to watch this recap um we do it uh we do videos for all of our recaps over at watch what crappens patreon so you can find it over there. It's also where you get bonuses, newsletters, ad-free listening, Discord server access, lots of stuff over there, so go check that out. Today, let's just jump into The Dragon 3 6 Faceless Men.

3:07Ben Mandelker: So thoroughly fulfilling the way this whole episode began. What a treat. What a treat to begin the episode. On this note, On this opening scene here, we thought we'd have to wait for a climactic moment somewhere next season for this to happen. But at long last, Kristen Cole is killed. Thank God. Thank God.

3:34Ronnie Karam: Yeah, it's been coming for a long, long time. And Kristen finally met his fate. Last week, he was saying, oh, you know, when Gwaine, which I still love the name Gwaine. Listen here, Gwaine. So when Gwaine confronts him last week and is like, we're clearly going to die if we don't abandon this war. And he's like, yeah, so? He's like, so you want us to die on purpose? This is like suicide by battle? And he's like, yeah, because everyone's going to know that I beat people. Like, I fought to the death without a dragon. And then they're going to make songs about me. And then Allison's going to hear my song one night at karaoke, and she's going to cry while people sing it.

4:13Ronnie Karam: so that they just gave it to Cole in the opening without a climax, like he pointed out. Nobody's going to sing a song about this. And I just love that for him.

4:27Ben Mandelker: It was just like another anonymous death on this show. It was like, it was so blah, you know? And I love that. I love that it was not, he didn't get like a hero's goodbye or anything. And so - Even a unique death.

4:40Ronnie Karam: They jased him. They jased him. They shot it. It was like the same thing they did to Jace. They just replaced the arrows.

4:49Ben Mandelker: They love that. They're like, well, we paid for this trick bow and arrow for the Jace death. So we want to get our money's worth. So we're going to do it again.

5:00Ronnie Karam: I get one that doesn't still have the crusty Jace blood on it. No, no, no. We're not even getting you new arrows. It's the same contraption. You're just, we'll put one in your face instead of your cheek. I mean, instead of your neck. How about that? We'll put it right in your cheek.

5:16Ben Mandelker: So basically, Christian Cole and his army are, once again, trundling along throughout the woods. And then someone's like, oh, something strange is up ahead. It's weird. There's dead men. But it's not like normal dead men. It's weird, dead men. Do you want to go look? So they're like, something's been here. Something's been here. Something strange. He's like, oh, well, sure. Sounds great. I love danger. I'm going to be a famous knight. And famous knights famously love to embrace danger. And I should probably be okay if we do this. So let's go check it out.

5:50Ronnie Karam: Yeah, so they go in there and they're checking it out. And then all the dead men were just faking it. And they jump up and start attacking everyone. I mean, that's pretty good at faking dead. Nobody noticed that you're still breathing? Yeah. You're holding your breath?

6:02Ben Mandelker: That was like a... It was basically like a flash mob. And how long did those guys have to sit there? I mean, they're like, okay, everyone lie here and play dead. for hours and hopefully one of these guys is going to come find us and then when they find us um just you still have to play dead and wait for them to go and then come back like that's a lot of time of just lying there pretending to be dead yeah it's not like you can hear the truck coming

6:28Ronnie Karam: up the road you know what i mean maybe they had a scout they must have they must have had someone at the window like at a surprise party yeah i like the flash mob thing they jump up they're like I think I'm gonna marry you.

6:46Ben Mandelker: So then, even though there's like 12 people in Kristen's camp, and there's probably about 200 people playing dead, Kristen still manages to like murder everyone around. And it's really disgusting. He's got like a ball with spikes at one point, and he just like jams out right into someone's face. I mean, there's like disembowelment, stabby, stabby, blood everywhere. I was like, ugh, it's a bit much.

7:11Ronnie Karam: Very violent. They did give him a good final battle, at least. I mean, yeah, he got to kick the ass of like 20 people by himself. It's like, wow, it's amazing. And now he's working the mace. Yes. The axe and the mace. They're like, let him show his skills with everything. You know, he's doing every time step.

7:34Ben Mandelker: I loved what he just started doing. Yeah, just started doing all sorts of special dance moves. then so they basically clear out all these these soldiers who now we know why they were chosen to play dead because they're the worst of the soldiers let's be honest and so then Christian is like we light the way he's like yeah we kicked ass like high towers we have the gods behind us and then it's that classic thing where like on the hillsides all the horses and cavalry and the soldiers of the larger army arrive. And I think first lesson of celebrating a victory, if you celebrate a victory and you're in like a depressed land area where you can look up and there's ridges around, know that you're about to get ambushed because that's what happened.

8:23Ronnie Karam: Yeah, when you're on the lower ground, you're about to get it. And how did they hide all that army too? I mean, that's a huge army to just be coming in a circle from all directions that nobody ever saw. I don't know, I guess we're watching a show with dragons. at some point.

8:39Ben Mandelker: They probably just were dressed like the trees at Bad Bunny's halftime show. They're like, okay, all this time, all the trees were just horses. And that Kristen's army was too dumb to notice.

8:48Ronnie Karam: But that is things I do worry about things. Yeah, I guess it is worry when I watch shows like this or Westerns. I'm like, where's everybody pooping on these long trips? And like, what do they do with it? Do you carry around like a tiny shovel and like you shovel your own little hole for your poop? Or is it just everywhere? Where is there just poop everywhere? Like human poop everywhere? Like, how does that work? And no one takes a bath? I mean, I worry about stuff like that. Like, where was the army? Where'd they hide? But they were there. And so they come out and it's, you know, the little kid is the head of it, little Oscar Toole.

9:23Ronnie Karam: And he's like, Kristen Cole, traitor, usurper, defiler of justice. Come forward to hear your fate, mister.

9:33Ben Mandelker: And Kristen's like, if I strike my banners, will you spare my men their lives? And Oscar's like, I made a promise to the dead, Cole. I told them I'd build a sept out of traitor's bones. I don't have near enough bones yet. He's like, no, I'm going to kill you no matter what. He's like, well, but if there's to be battle here, many of you will die as well. So then Roderick, who's like the older guy, is like, that's why we've come. What better way to die than blade in hand?

10:02Ronnie Karam: I mean, with a sandwich in your hand. That's how. Like, why isn't there anybody to answer that question? Is there any better way to die than with a blade in your hand? Yeah, you could be holding a piece of pizza. I mean, you could be holding a PlayStation controller. That's how I want to go. A PlayStation controller in one hand and a pizza in the other hand. Yeah, there are a lot of better ways, literally better ways to die than having a blade in your hand. So then Chris, it's like that. Coke up my nose, you know, hot person on my lap. Yeah, I can name like 20 better ways to die. Yeah.

10:36Ben Mandelker: So Kristen, he takes out his handkerchief. He takes out Allison's handkerchief. He ties it to a sword. As if the spirit of Allison's going to help him at all. I mean, look at where she is. She's literally sitting in a tunnel somewhere in the dark because her daughter knocked over the lantern because she got startled. So she's like, oh, well, the spirit of Allison will help me here. I'm going to fight for her one last time. So then he's like, okay, then let's begin it here. One of me against the two of you, would that be enough? And you know, they're like, no. We don't need to do any sort of like small dick energy sword fight.

11:06Ben Mandelker: Okay. You're going to die right now. And then this is where you have, um, Alison black ally, blackwood. She, Alison black ally, blackwood. She basically just shoots a bunch of arrows at Kristen. And it's like, yeah, there will be no stupid sword fight. We're not in a school play. Yeah.

11:24Ronnie Karam: We don't really know who she is on the show. Um, I guess she's a big character in the book. I read it and I read it thread, but we don't really know who she is from the show all we know is that she was in that scene where the uh army was gathered around singing songs and she's like oh and she has a lot of eyeliner

11:43Ben Mandelker: i totally forgot she was in that scene in that like like uh that's really annoying uh like pub pub song scene in the woods. So, yeah.

11:56Ronnie Karam: Another question. Why were handkerchiefs so romantic? I guess it's because that's where you can put your initials or whatever. So it's like, oh, I remember this person because they're initial. But ultimately, it's something that people blow their snot into. Why do you want to? Yeah. It's not romantic. We need to normalize back then initialing better things to romance.

12:24Ben Mandelker: Is it possible that Alison gave him that handkerchief to be like, you're a little bit dirty right now. Here, use this. And he's like, it's a romantic gesture.

12:33Ronnie Karam: I'll never forget the day Alison told me you have bats in your cave.

12:39Ben Mandelker: She's like, you know, it was always so awkward is that I gave Kristen that handkerchief to blow out that bat in his cave and he never gave it back. Did you think it was for something more?

12:50Ronnie Karam: She would have made it out of King's Landing had she not been like, oh shit, I forgot my handkerchief and I've got a booger. I need to go back.

12:58Ben Mandelker: Let me just go back and get it real quick.

13:02Ronnie Karam: Speaking of, we go back to King's Landing and it's a small council meeting, which I've really come to enjoy these meetings now that there's new people.

13:12Ben Mandelker: Yeah, they're really good. By the way, I just want to mention that the last battle is called, For those who are like completionists, it's called the Butcher's Ball. It's called the Butcher's Ball. If you're wondering, what's the Butcher's Ball? If you hear about it, that was it. Kristen right there getting trapped and tricked.

13:27Ronnie Karam: The Butcher's Ball sounds so much more fun than this battle was. But it was, yeah, it was fun. Just Kristen, like, we can make a deal, right? And they're like, nope, arrow to the chest, another arrow to the chest, and then another churro. That's a churro and a man. They got creative.

13:43Ben Mandelker: Churro comes out. She goes, cha-cha-cha, we have a Victor.

13:49Ben Mandelker: She's been waiting all this time.

13:52Ronnie Karam: So they're having a small council meeting, and Damon is complaining because Luther just got his ass killed with a bunch of the City Watch people. Maybe not wear bright mustard yellow. That was something I thought this week.

14:09Ben Mandelker: Yeah. and Luther was killed with some 4 in 10 of his best men I'm like were they his best men because there's 14 of you and you all died so really what's going on here maybe we can go back to basic training

14:25Ronnie Karam: yeah their track record kind of sucks for sure and so she's like oh she Ray Ray's like oh now he's trying to make me look stupid like I can't even govern make it look like a cop so useless here Like, yeah. Well, I guess we should just burn them, like I told you to do from the first fucking second. Just burn everybody. We've got dragons. What are you doing? She's like, you can't burn the innocent. She's like, the fuck you can. Do you know, nothing else is mustard colored in this entire city. Do you know how much dye that costs alone that they've ruined? Well, Missouri has a response.

15:03Ben Mandelker: then Ormond gets what he wants a queen who murders loyal subjects cannot be trusted and Damon's like I hate this lady so he's like

15:17Ronnie Karam: and then our queen Lady Sabatha comes in and she's like oh so what are you gonna do just pinpoint them with your dragons oh that's what dragons are known for their surgical precision in battle that's a great idea Damon

15:33Ben Mandelker: and manderley is like oh yes what a marvel the flame it's beautiful can discern with pure magic who is blameless and who is deserving and they're just like snickering in the corner having a game which just throws a cup at their head it's like shut up he does it doesn't even it doesn't even hit them so he's like i was like i'll do no i'll hear no more from those whose greatest battle has been with their digestion i was like oh damn so then alan's like i am of the same mind as the lord and the ladies are your grace your army marchers ever nearer you will answer this outrage with force but discriminately if we wait but a while longer alan turned out to

16:13Ronnie Karam: be the perfect person to sit on the council by the way and i love his new outfit super cute

16:21Ben Mandelker: he always looks a little silly in his costumes i have to say later on he's like in full armor and he looks a bit like a toy. Like, I feel like I should find him at Toys R Us. Like, get your Game of Thrones character. So, Daemon's like, well, waiting, but at what cost? Remember the prophecy, your sacred calling. Whatever you do is in services justified. Egg on the conqueror, burn thousands on the field of fire, thousands, and they settle and remain for generations. So, Daemon is basically a religious zealot also. He is just as bad as Alicent, essentially. or all the high towers. So he's really annoying about this.

16:59Ben Mandelker: And Ray Ray's like, religion is power and dragons. And, and he believes that they're meant for something greater. So he had Ormond are kind of like two of the same because they're both very, very sanctimonious, or at least they're using the beliefs of their families in order to gain more power and do what they want.

17:20Ronnie Karam: Yeah. And Ray Ray is like, yeah, the Conqueror burned enemies, not people who voted for him. Okay? You don't burn your own district to the ground. Okay? And he's like, oh, people need to bend their knee to you, and the people would just as happily follow a mule if that statement. She's like, my father would abhor it. He's like, yeah, I hated your dad too. Okay? Your dad's face was falling off for like 20 years we had to put up with his stinky ass. Why do you keep bringing him up? Fine.

17:49Ben Mandelker: I will send knives. He's like, well, you mean assassins also? Yes, it's implied. I'm not just going to send some civil war. I'm sending assassins. He's like, okay, fine. At least I will get to meet the fiend face to face before. She's like, no, not you. He's like, but what could be more discreet than sending someone whose face is famous throughout the land to go make an undercover assassination in a small town? With blindingly white blonde hair. I was thinking about wearing also the gold sashes, too. What do you think? Something really discreet.

18:26Ronnie Karam: I'll cover it up with a mustard sash. She's like, oh, for Christ's sake. She's like, no, the most effective assassin has a plain face. Nobody will know. Everybody knows your face, okay? And you're probably the whitest person I've ever met. But I just mean, like, they're going to know you, okay? and um so alan's like well there was a detachment here of valerian soldiers and um they can help prince daemon and daemon's like i think not thank you i have a gold sash have i already mentioned

19:00Ben Mandelker: that so basically rey rey's like can you go find your dad and ask the ask him for more valerians to protect the city since the gold cloaks seem to be totally inept and then or while is like oh and by the way um who will then you send to templeton because it is a dangerous errand and one that will require force so then uh guess who's just arrived just in time to answer this question house baratheon which apparently i've been saying barantheon all this time and i don't know how that

19:30Ronnie Karam: happened but it's baratheon the baratheons so um they come in and he's like hello we finally made at where Baratheans. Sorry we're late. But the traffic out there is insane. And she's like, it took you, it took you forever. Where have you been? And where's your lord? Anyway, why is he sending a delegate? It's like,

19:53Ben Mandelker: oh, our lord, you know, he went to the Red Mountains to fight the Vulture King. He's been raiding the Stormlands. She's like, the Vulture King, what, what sort of low level side quest is that? I mean, his queen summons him and all of a sudden it occurs to him that he must ride south. what the hell is going on with Lord Boros?

20:12Ronnie Karam: Yeah, he's like, well, I mean, have you heard the name? The Vulture Queen? That's terrifying. Those things are huge. At first you think they're a turkey. You're like, I can eat it. But then it eats you. You've heard of vultures, right? It's a vulture king. It's like, oh, for Christ's sake. I'm not as scared of a turkey. All right? So he's like, well, you know, it's his job to protect everybody. And the Dornish people are attacking. so she's like uh well it's his duty to listen to his queen and i'm his queen so stand off you know

20:44Ben Mandelker: what actually um take off your belt dun dun dun she basically is like i'm gonna you either do this i'm gonna kill you um so now we go to um ulf and hue and they're outside of uh tumbleton everyone loves tumbledore and uh they're there because they're switching off for uh custodial duties and uh he was like anything to report have you seen a sullen quiet lady roaming the streets is she okay and obviously oh well it's market day tomorrow do you remember market day in king's landing before this fruit stalls geese honking trader shouting hot pies took it all for granted he's like shut up i really don't care my wife is in there uh i'm sure we'll have no but seriously

21:30Ronnie Karam: gyros, am I right? You say gyros or gyros. Jack in the Box commercial always confused the fuck at me, right? But still, they're good. You get them at market day, right? Jams, jellies, carbs of all kinds.

21:46Ben Mandelker: Sourdoughs. You ever been to Bubba and Grandma's always a line around the block, but it's such good sourdough. You wouldn't want to go to market day. So then Hugh is like, um, okay, well, he's like, it's just go back to the city i've got it from here nothing will possibly go wrong under my watch

22:05Ronnie Karam: yeah he's like don't worry well everything will go back to what it was before and also like but we're famous now we weren't famous before my right it's just difficult the way of fame it's just difficult there's no going back which i get it but it's it's like been a week like you're not taylor swift yet you know he just wants a drink this poor man just wants a goddamn drink so then When we go to King's Landing, Ray Ray comes to Alison's room for another really long discussion where Alison has done something super shitty. And Ray Ray's just like, you better watch out. This time I'm really, really mad.

22:44Ben Mandelker: Because basically the guards found Alison and she and Helena were just sitting in that tunnel in the dark, just waiting. So they finally come and they get her out. And so Alison is like, you would have done the same. And Ray Ray's like, have I not shown you mercy even before those who named my kindness to you as weakness? Are you so ungrateful that you insist upon it? She's like, why do you always sound like you're about to cry? Helena's with child, so you flee, you know, to preserve a baby's life. And Helena is with it. Still, you insist on misjudging me. If the child is male, would you not? Wouldn't you find it necessary to hold him hostage at the least to try out Aamond or something like?

23:23Ben Mandelker: You're going to kill, you're going to kill Aamond, you're going to kill her. You're going to kill the child. And Riri's like, oh, please. How could, what? You were discovered by guards. I can't let it go on onset now.

23:32Ronnie Karam: Yeah. And she's like, well, spare Helena. It was me who put us in those terrible maid costumes in the first place. And she's like, no, now you guys have to be in your room even longer because I can't just have you walking around when you're trying to escape. So she's like, you can't do this to Helena. She's fragile. Okay. and Ray Ray does not care. And she's like, your whole family's still coming after me. And to the court, you're an enemy. So have fun staying inside. At least you guys can needlepoint.

24:08Ben Mandelker: Yeah, you could do that. So then we go to Missouri. Afterwards, Missouri and Ray Ray are walking along. And Missouri's like, what did she tell you? And she's like, well, Helena's with a child. Are there others who know? She's like, I believe not. You yourself had no suspicion, right? And Mazaria's like, no. Eyes darting left and right. No.

24:31Ronnie Karam: I've just started down the long road of betrayal. What do you think of that? So then we go to Mazaria with the guard. And she's looking down at people walking around the hallway and stuff. And she sees a servant lady. And she's like, that one. Thief and a liar. Let me know when it is done.

24:53Ben Mandelker: Mm-hmm. And I didn't really understand what was happening, but I read online that basically that was the person who was like, she basically like murdered the person who knew about the escape plan, I believe. Is that the one who maybe bought the necklace off of Allison? I think it's just like Miseria covering her tracks.

25:14Ronnie Karam: Oh, okay. Or is she the one? I figured, and I didn't recognize who it was. So my guess was that it was someone who knew that Mazaria came to see Allison before. And so she had the discussion with her and knew about the baby and stuff like that. That's the same person, right?

25:32Ben Mandelker: I think so. I wish they had maybe spelled that out a little bit more because I was like, what was the point of that scene? But thank God for the internet. So Damon is like, oh, by the way, another update of something I got wrong last week. So I had a whole thing about nightshade. And I was like, nightshade? That's like tomatoes and neck plants. That's hilarious. Isn't it funny? They're afraid of tomatoes and eggplants. And then someone messaged me and said, yes, but nightshade is also a poisonous thing, and it's a real-life poisonous thing to us humans. So I'm saying this so that way you don't all go out and eat nightshade and die, because it will kill you.

26:03Ben Mandelker: It's just that tomatoes and eggplants...

26:04Ronnie Karam: And said nightshade's delicious.

26:07Ben Mandelker: Tomatoes and eggplants are part of the nightshade family, but nightshade is also part of the nightshade family, and nightshade will kill you very easily. So that's my public service announcement. Watch out. You just saved someone's life. I did.

26:21Ronnie Karam: Someone who learned all their foraging skills from Watch What Crappens. So Darren is in the room where all the gold cloaks were murdered, and they spray painted with blood on the wall. Traitors. Rhymes with freighters. It's like all traitors are pussies or whatever is on the wall. So he's there, and he's like, we will be avenged. We will be avenged. And then all the remaining gold cloaks come in. And one of them's like, yeah, I'm really scared because they're killing us all. And I have a family now, so I quit. It's like, we're going to drive Uber. Yeah. He's like, what do you mean? He's like, yeah, I'm going to take other money-making opportunities in town.

27:08Ronnie Karam: I don't know if you've noticed, the job market is depressed in this town. Look around. Yeah.

27:18Ben Mandelker: King's Landing is a dump, always has been. No one makes money there whatsoever. But they're making no money, and they're also dying with this job. So they all quit, and Damon tries to give a whole speech. He's like, And the cutthroats and the scoundrels when they saw me your house and ripped the bread from your children's mouth and take pleasure with your wife, all of you, you forget what the city was. Before I turned this rabble into an army, before I led you out of your squalor and formed you into men. Shame. And they're like, yeah. So there's a Starbucks that has an opening and I'm going to put my hat in the ring.

27:56Ronnie Karam: Also, we never wanted to tell you this, but no one would have voted for the color mustard. I mean, it's just, it's just, it's a really strong choice.

28:06Ben Mandelker: So. But when you kill someone, the blood looks great. It's like ketchup and mustard. You look like a delicious hot dog. Yeah, no. We're going to leave.

28:15Ronnie Karam: But we also look like a lady with hair that Ben describes as Phoenix hair. Arizona hair.

28:23Ben Mandelker: We look like we have Arizona ketchup and mustard highlights. So it's not really our vibe as the gold.

28:32Ronnie Karam: It's time for a commercial. It's time for a Crappens commercial.

28:39Ben Mandelker: This episode is supported by FX's The Shards, a seductive drama from executive producer Ryan Murphy. Set in 1980s Los Angeles, the series follows a group of glamorous, deeply entangled high school seniors drawn into a life of wealth, beauty, parties, and excess.

28:56Ronnie Karam: At its center is Brett, whose reality begins to unravel when the arrival of a new student coincides with a series of mysterious murders. FX's The Shards premieres August 5th on FX and Hulu.

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29:52Ronnie Karam: Start your GLP-1 journey today at Noom.com. That's N-O-O-M dot com. Initial one-month subscription from$39 plus tax and$99 plus tax per month thereafter. Cost of medication not included. Final pricing depends on program selection. Now we go to Alan and Corliss together again. They're just loading up some dead bodies from a battle because Corliss has been avoiding his duty by just, you know, going and battling with people. So that's his thing. It's like your papa going out to the garage at night to tinker so he doesn't have to make small talk around the table.

30:30Ben Mandelker: And Alan is in such an excessive suit of armor. It's hilarious. He's like, he's like, father! And I feel like everyone else has reasonable amounts of armor on, but he just has so much on. He looks like a little statue. He's coming down, he's like, father! Warden, this city is that you've done valiant work, and the Triarchy raids have dwindled! And he's like, but there's more to do. He's like, yes! Anywho! so um thinking about maybe some of your guys who'd come join the city watch because things are really bad over there could you send some men and so he is corliss of course is like oh so she asks more of me he's like actually it was me who asked your son now that you recognize me and he's like oh

31:17Ronnie Karam: really you're taking her side and she refuses to grant you legitimacy he's like uh hi remember how you denied being my father literally for 30-something years? You did that first. I was cheering when he finally fucking said it. He's like, listen, I have a real job now, and that's why I wear this fancy suit everywhere I go, even in this golden corral. You are going to respect me, father.

31:42Ben Mandelker: Do I look like a teapot right now? Perhaps. So, Alan would call us like, well, okay, by the way, word on the street is Tylan Lannister survived the gullet, and he's going to Rook's Rest, so you can just send that on to your queen for next episode.

32:03Ronnie Karam: Yeah. He's like, I may not come with you now, but I have some tea. Spread it. There. Consider yourself paid. So now we go to Aegon, Larys, and Tylan, and Tylan is being forced to bury the dude that Aegon stabbed to death. And I thought last week was the one where Aegon really turns, and he's like, now I will be a man of the people. I've learned my lesson after being told off by Larys. You know, I'm going to do my own stabbings, and now I'm going to be more helpful. But no, he's just staring at a tiny little pine cone while he makes the Lannister guy dig. Yeah, he's not helping whatsoever.

32:43Ben Mandelker: It's a slower arc than I thought was going to happen. I think it's more, I don't think he's going to become one of the people I think he's still like, I am king, but I'm starting to realize I'm a dipshit and no one likes me and I'm going to try to be better. But not right now. It won't start with me digging a grave. Maybe I'll buy someone a salad. So then Tylan is, they put this body in this shallow grave and Larish is talking about how they found passage to Braavos and Tylan is like, well, but here's the thing. I think you should come to Casterly Rock. It's really cool over there. Everyone loves Casterly Rock, right?

33:21Ben Mandelker: I mean, it's very much Lannister, you know, vibes over there. And Aegon's like, okay, well, do you think I'm terrible? Do you think I'm a piece of shit? Do you think I'm, like, the worst thing of all time? Tell me. Yeah.

33:34Ronnie Karam: He's like, am I a terrible man, Sir Tailand? Settle the bet between me and Larys. Am I terrible? And he's like, whoa, whoa, I would never say that unless I want to lose my head. You know, some people are taller than others. Some people are shorter. Some people are wider. Some people are thinner. I love roller coasters. Are we done with this conversation? It's really uncomfortable.

34:02Ben Mandelker: Well, your highness, sire, whatever, you take the good, you take the bad, you take them both, and there you have the facts of life. He's like, I don't understand this reference. He's like, I don't know. I don't understand it either, but I've been told that if my Y was a V, I would be the name of a basic cable channel that would be airing what I just sang. So I don't really understand it myself. It just came over me.

34:26Ronnie Karam: He's like, okay, well, then we'll sell for Essos then. So then we go to Raina on a cliff and she sees dragons in the distance.

34:40Ben Mandelker: It sounds like... that's very exciting and then we go to uh harren hall oh our favorite spot in all west rose harren hall two seasons straight nothing but fun times at harren hall so uh we are we're there with amon and alice and she's tending to his face and uh she's putting ointment on and she's like this is for your face like no shit you're putting it on it this is for your arm

35:05Ronnie Karam: i'm putting it on your cheek this is hemorrhoid cream but it will make your eye bags go down as well such a spigot thanks for so she's like thank you so much for defending me it's been so long i am forever in your debt which is why i will stand here and give you a look of consternation for the rest of your life and he's like well i guess i'm in your debt too but i'm glad i can leave here now with that school settled and i've paid you back for all your kindness by killing a bunch of rapists and murderers all right we're paid up here goodbye

35:40Ben Mandelker: So I think I'm going to check out. It was a lovely stay. He's like, but where do you think you're going to go? He's like, well, I need to find my dragon. She would not have left me willingly, and I'll not be without her. I think she would leave willingly. I don't think anything's going to hold Vhagar back from doing what Vhagar wants to do. So Alice is like, well, guess what? A frog in winter sleeps under the ice. Oh, for Christ's sake, really? A frog in winter sleeps under the ice?

36:04Ronnie Karam: If I had an angle for every time somebody told me that.

36:09Ben Mandelker: the water that boils the eggs softens the potato and the frog that sleeps under the ice is asleep under the ice in the water

36:16Ronnie Karam: yeah I would have said a frog also sits in a pot of boiling water until it's boiling and he didn't really notice it because it got warm too slowly okay so I don't want to be the frog sitting in the boiling water the frog that sits on the lily pad

36:30Ben Mandelker: the frog that sits on the lily pad then sticks out its tongue and gets a fly think about that

36:36Ronnie Karam: The frog that runs into traffic sometimes makes it across, but eventually it's run over until you put in another quarter.

36:43Ben Mandelker: The frog that plays the banjo can find the love of a pig. Think about that.

36:50Ronnie Karam: A frog with a cane welcomes you to a TV show in the 90s.

36:59Ben Mandelker: did you ever think take a frog put some chocolate on its back and some m &ms in its eyeballs stick it up on a stick a lovely treat from good humor think about that

37:10Ronnie Karam: okay well i need to find a horse she's like no don't go where are you gonna go what are you gonna just walk the seven kingdoms with a horse come on you're used to dragons I know you're not used to normal traffic patterns around here, but they suck. It's going to take forever to get anywhere.

37:29Ben Mandelker: Have you thought about, instead of getting a horse, maybe you get a frog? Okay, we get it. I got your metaphor already. Just saying. Just try it out.

37:40Ronnie Karam: One man's dragon is another man's frog with wings. Do you understand what I'm saying there? I don't.

37:49Ben Mandelker: I don't understand.

37:51Ronnie Karam: The point is, I want you to stay here with me. Because there's a bounty on your life. Everybody's going to be out there trying to kill you. And even poor people, even the common folk. Everybody wants you dead. Poor Laura Dern has had to go underground.

38:05Ben Mandelker: Another question, Alice. Am I the frog in your metaphors? Is that what you see me as? Honestly, I just made a lot of frog things to compare things to.

38:17Ronnie Karam: Let's just move on.

38:22Ben Mandelker: So, Eamond is basically like, he's like, but Vhagar, I'm nothing without Vhagar. And she's like, what about if Vhagar is actually trying to protect you? Because everyone's looking for Vhagar, because I assume you're with Vhagar. Did you ever think about that, you stupid idiot? The frog without a dragon is the stupid frog, apparently.

38:41Ronnie Karam: I think she's right that Vhagar is like, well, he's either dead or dying, so he needs to rest up. Meanwhile, the boy's got to eat.

38:51Ben Mandelker: Vhagar's getting a mad daddy somewhere. Vhagar's having some self-love time.

38:59Ronnie Karam: She's like, okay, so even when you find Vhagar, what are you going to fly to your death? Ray Ray has more dragons than you. Granted, no one is really trained on her team. There's a bunch of you know, noobs flying around these little dragons. But still, you're going to fall alone. And to what end? You're going to end up looking like a frog under a tire, crushed like a Diet Coke can. Isn't it amazing how they still look so perfectly like a frog, even when they're crushed flat? I've never understood how they're the only animal that can do that.

39:34Ben Mandelker: He's like, what's a tire? So, um... She's like... That's really going to fuck him up. so now over in the veil I love Jade Aaron is really becoming one of my favorites we just start with she's just pushed someone out of her sky door her moon door she's like it never ceases to be fascinating they're like ma 'am why did you throw a frog out there I don't know I feel like I'm under a span but

40:01Ronnie Karam: you just see her looking down the hole and you hear

40:09Ben Mandelker: it's a rare moment of coming out still the best show on the whole of my favorite show. Will it float?

40:18Ronnie Karam: Didn't found anything. So, guess who got caught? Raina. So she's like shoved in front of Jane and Jane just smacks her. She hits her on the face and she's like, what did I say when we last met? She's like, but I saw Moondancer, my sister's dragon and it's flying towards the Iron Oaks. And she's like, what does that have to do with you? I told you to hide in a fucking cave you're not in a fucking cave you're going to get smacked who gave you that haircut by the way you look absolutely crazy did you bite it off yourself like cheese

40:55Ben Mandelker: I did love the slap I felt like that was Game of Thrones saying this one's for the gays a beautiful woman slapping another beautiful woman that's just what we want we're like yes the spirit of Madeline Stowe is alive on Game of Thrones so um so basically jane is like you know you left your hiding place in violation of our agreement and you fly toward a town equipped with several thousands pairs of eyes all watching and wondering what your appearance portends she's like but i mean what's even worse is i didn't even see her she was already gone she's like and what do you think would have happened if she hadn't the queen thinks sheep stealer's rider is dead it has only been it's been your only reprieve If word reaches her, have you forgotten already the doom that hangs over you and over me for harboring you, for allowing myself to be swayed?

41:45Ronnie Karam: Yeah, everyone on this show is so selfish. She's like, oh, wow, you wanted to see your sister? Hi, anybody sees you, we're all going to get killed. Like, why is everybody so selfish? Like, nobody's like, wow, I think I need to, you know, maybe help the people who have put their lives on the line for me. How about that?

42:06Ben Mandelker: So Raina's like, I'm sorry, it's just all my life I've always wanted a dragon and now I have one, but I've lost everything else. And Jane's like, oh yeah, that was your choice. Okay. And now everyone's dead. Are you satisfied? You got what you wanted, Raina. And next time, next time you try me, it's going to be your last. Have you seen the My Moon Door?

42:24Ronnie Karam: I'm really good. Yeah, no kidding. She's like, wah, wah, wah. My whole life I wanted a television set. and instead I've got a hole in the ground that I, in the sky rather, that I pushed people to their death from. Okay? I could, like, is there anyone who writes scripts out there? It would be great. Wah.

42:43Ben Mandelker: Word on the street is there is some show called The Facts of Life that people are singing songs about in the woods. I can't see it. I've only got a hole in the floor. No TV. So now we get, well,

42:54Ronnie Karam: now we get a scene I really never saw coming, which is Alan and Bela so Bela is uh yeah so weird so Bela's sleeping Alan walks in and we just got the scene last week of Bela and Adam having some chemistry so we're like oh looks like some more incest is on the way to House of the Dragon um but now that I guess in the middle of the season they're like we need a left triangle let's just do it now I know let's not set it up let's not plant any seeds let's just

43:27Ben Mandelker: have it happen out of nowhere in the middle of a scene about something else. So she's just hanging out, and Alan is like, yeah, I saw my dad, and could you talk to him? Because he's just like, he's going through a midlife crisis, and he's, someone needs to bring him back. So he's, can you talk to your grandfather, aka my dad? And she's like, yeah, well, it's the same with my dad. Okay. Both of them, they can't, like, they're, they've got toxic masculinity, they don't know what to do with their ghosts. Like, they just go out and they battle to fill the void in their lives. I can't help them. You can't help them.

43:58Ben Mandelker: This is just the way these guys are. Which is, of course, exactly the sort of conversation that would lead to a very romantic moment.

44:05Ronnie Karam: Yeah, it's just the whole thing is bizarre. She's like, Dad, am I right? She's just letting them murder people. That's just what they want to do. Okay, by the way, do you want to make out? He's like, whoa, whoa, whoa, what? And then he comes up and lays one on him. I mean, it does really kind of come out of nowhere. Yeah. some i would have gotten it if maybe he kind of started getting a crush on her and then the brother liked her i mean i would have gotten it that way i didn't get baila suddenly liking him because it really did like even her face changed suddenly and she's like wouldn't you like some time alone occasionally whoa yeah it was it felt like the writers were

44:48Ben Mandelker: saying, oh, we've got to give something for this actress to do. So let's do this. I don't mind if they have a relationship, but just set it up. Give us a wrap-up over the past few episodes. It feels like they've never even talked, even though they have. They have no relationship on this show.

45:05Ronnie Karam: There was just no chemistry until literally the last five seconds of the scene. And then suddenly, she's like, oh, now I like you. It's just weird. So then they make out. And then we go to Ormond, who's currently, I think Ormond, Lady Jane, and then that lady who was brought in to the small council. The best. The fray. The fray lady. And then the other big guy who was brought into the council, the king of coin or whatever, the master of coin. All of them just need their bitchy show. I would watch all of them on a just bitchy show on Bravo.

45:42Ben Mandelker: Yeah, it's funny because Gawain, I think they pretty much say in this episode that Gawain is actually gay. And of course, the only one who's actually an out gay person on the show is one of the most unremarkable characters. I find Gawain to be very whatever. Ormond is also clearly gay. He's clearly the gay that we... He's the gay for the gays. He's just bitchy and prissy. It's like, yes!

46:12Ronnie Karam: And he's kind of the self-hating gay because he's being mean to... He's like making gay jokes at Gawain. Mm-hmm. Well, isn't it? Isn't he the one making shitty comments to Gawain? He is.

46:23Ben Mandelker: Oh, is that what I can do?

46:25Ronnie Karam: You literally make your own potpourri.

46:28Ben Mandelker: I know. Well, did I confuse something? I thought people were saying online that Gawain came out as gay on this episode. And it was because he said he was enjoying the company of men. Or was that just, I guess we'll get to it in the notes. I was going to say, was that Ormond just taunting his brother?

46:43Ronnie Karam: I took it as Ormond just being like, hi, you're gay. Everyone knows it. You're gay. You're gay. You're gay. Well, apparently. I don't know. Let's see. Because a lot of times I don't get things until I read it in the notes. And I'm like, oh. Wow. And I watch it with the captions on.

47:03Ben Mandelker: So I'm literally reading it while I watch the show. well thank god for reddit because just yesterday there is a thread that says uh the hints that sir gwayne being gay number one lord ormond says i'm sure you found solace in your brother in arms he says that uh when when gwayne says he wants a feather mattress in this scene and then uh he tells darren to keep his back to the wall when he's with gwayne and then he also recognized and then uh the fact that later on gwayne recognizes uh the the assassins is not being who he says because you remember such things as Aaron Baratheon's hair color, height, and clumeliness.

47:38Ben Mandelker: Things a straight man may not remember as a good gay man might, says Reddit.

47:46Ronnie Karam: Yeah, so he was kind of gay bashing. He was kind of gay bashing Gwaine. Yeah, so I guess that's not actually confirmed that

47:54Ben Mandelker: Gwaine is gay. Yeah, no, he didn't come out of the closet. He's just being bashed. Okay, so he came out of the closet, and I was like, I feel like I kind of missed that, but this makes more sense. I think they were just like, yes, we have a new game. Welcome. It makes way more sense that Ormond is self-loathing and saying like, Gwaine is gay, because Ormond is, to me, very clearly gay.

48:18Ronnie Karam: Yeah, I mean, Ormond is like, fluffing his hair with a fork or whatever and like making his own potpourri. I mean, come on. So - Has a great body. Gwaine ditched, obviously, ditched Cole and comes back and he's like, oh well Kristen Cole still fighting why do you return sorry was there a giant penis on this building that you were coming towards

48:44Ben Mandelker: did you hear me playing ABBA out of the speakers and Gwaine's like um like what like because fighting it would be crazy if they kept on fighting like it's crazy and Ormond is like so do you think me mad your grace and Gwaine is like no sir you mean the fight on with what like there's a dragon sitting on the hill above us and five more not 30 leagues away so ormond is basically telling gwayne like hey ray ray is not gonna burn her own subjects she's a woman and she's squeamish so gwayne's like well um listen if you leave the wall

49:24Ronnie Karam: if you leave these walls you're all gonna die anyway so amon's gone ray ray's holding my sister hostage. The river's coming for us, and that little kid's mean, okay? No one wants to fuck with that little Tully kid, okay? He not only yells at you, he starts tap dancing. I mean, he's really an overachiever. So what else are we supposed to do? We kind of lost. And Orman's like, oh, Darren, Darren, Darren, my little muse. Look at your uncle. He lacks imagination, as well as courage. We're fighting you, fuck. Basically, he's like, I'm screwing over Ray Ray by killing one cop at a time. I'm scaring her.

50:06Ronnie Karam: I'm leaving everybody powerless. Don't worry. I'm still fighting a war. A war of sense.

50:13Ben Mandelker: That's right. And so he's like, he's like, look, we're exposing Ray Ray as being totally weak. She can't even rule her own city. I mean, the Great Houses cannot help but come to our side. And Gwaine's like, oh, so have any come? It's like, well, the patient hunter gets the kill. Something the craven amongst us would do well to learn. Oh, wait, I just received a raven from Harrenhal, and it says a frog waiting for the fly is a frog that will be fed. Do you know what this has anything to do with anything?

50:47Ronnie Karam: Gwaine's like, listen, it's been rough, okay? So I just want to I just watched everybody die. Could you give me a little break here? And Norm was like, oh, yeah, I'm sure you found some solace with some of your brothers in arms. I'm sure it was really hard in you. All right.

51:14Ben Mandelker: Sir Gwaine is like, I'm fatigued. It's been weeks since I've seen a feather bear by your leave. He's like, oh, so you might see Sir Gwaine to his quarters. your grace make sure he bathes oh and mind yourselves backs against the wall over there no homo

51:35Ronnie Karam: so uh gwayne and darren walk down the hallway and um darren's like oh my god i just had to get through that and he's like oh and really this is your way just fawning over over ormond my god he styled you the bloody king you know that right cute haircut by the way good god what is he doing

51:53Ben Mandelker: to you man darren's like well you left me alone with him okay you know what he is i do what i can to keep him from you know the things and gwen's like well i had no choice and darren's like well but neither did i you know i'm near but neither did he grieve you to ride away i mean i hate what i am when i'm with him a puppet a fool a child by the way what do you think darren was implying with I do what I can to keep him from you know

52:20Ronnie Karam: going crazy he's like I try to keep him from being an insane villain whenever I can but how am I supposed to control him why what did you think it meant

52:33Ben Mandelker: I wasn't sure it sounded almost like something more nefarious than that like you know like some sort of like like I wasn't sure if it was like something vaguely sexual but it was too vague for me. Obviously I missed a lot I messed up a lot of the subtext of the scene because I did not pick up on any of the stuff maybe because sometimes I watched, there's so much going on that I just was not noticing half of like the I didn't notice any of the things that Ormond had said about Gawain and then when the internet interpreted it and said that oh Gawain is gay I clearly just took the internet's word for it and so I'm just at this point not sure what's going on in the scene in terms of the subtext i've completely well i took it

53:17Ronnie Karam: it makes more sense to me i took it as him saying like what are you doing leaving me alone with this fucking crazy person like you're my elder you're supposed to be taking care of me why do you keep running away and he's like oh really you don't like the villain then why are you following him around like his little twin and being his little puppet and then he's like but i hate this i'm just doing it to keep him calm he's a fucking psycho and if i don't you know act like the perfect little boy, he's going to go psycho. And he's like, well, he does want you to be king. So I guess you're getting something out of it.

53:47Ronnie Karam: And he's like, but I don't even want to be king. And everybody knows we're not going to win this war. So what am I winning? It's like ordering a quarter pounder meal and expecting to find a happy meal prize in the bottom. I didn't order the happy meal. I'm not going to be the king. And he's like, well, okay, then why don't you just become the king and then you can kill him? And he's like, are you listening? I'm asking you for your help. And he's like, I'm asking for a fucking bed. Okay? And I'm asking for a night's sleep without listening to Kristen Cole come up with lyrics for songs about himself that will eventually play one day in karaoke bar.

54:24Ronnie Karam: So good night.

54:26Ben Mandelker: Yeah, exactly. So, Darren's like, oh, by the way, did you see my mom? It's like, uh. Then we go to Allison and Helena. Allison was the only child she actually really cares about, Helena. She's like, Helena, will you please eat? You've taken nothing since yesterday and you said little more. Helena, eat something. And Helena's like, Miss Aria knew of our plan, but she said nothing of Jahara. Was she truly stolen away to meet us at some secret place up ahead?

54:54Ronnie Karam: Yeah. So Helena's basically like, okay, you want to know why I'm mad at you? Because I told you I wanted to take my kid with me when we ran away. And you said, okay. And then you made plans to leave her fucking behind. What the hell? Why do you lie to me all the time? and she's like, well, it was just better that way. And Allison. At least she's a mother that cares about Helena because that's the only damn kid she cares about. She throws her kids under the bus in every single episode.

55:22Ben Mandelker: It's hilarious. Not unlike What's-Her-Face, Ray-Ray, and her last child, who has now slept through two full episodes of House of the Dragons. Yeah.

55:37Ronnie Karam: She's like, Mommy's busy, but Mommy's really feeling Mommy doesn't want to have to talk.

55:43Ben Mandelker: Just sleeping.

55:45Ronnie Karam: She's like, Helena, you need to eat. And finally she has a talk with her. So Helena does take a little slurp of the soup. She's like, good. Good. That's all you need. Okay. Let's get ready to run again.

55:56Ben Mandelker: There was nothing bad in that soup. Nothing bad whatsoever. Nothing bad. so uh now we have amon and he's like uh he's tending to a horse over in the general harren hall area and then this kid walks in goes oh my god it's one eye but then in comes alice she goes the frog that sees the one eye is the frog that dies so she kills this guy and she's like look kid me she's a show just like slaughter a kid witness just bam but she's like look see i kept your secret. I'm indebted to you. He's like, wow, you could have killed me too and claimed Veneer as bounty. Yes, there are many things I could have done to you.

56:37Ben Mandelker: We could have gone crocheting together. I could have taught you a spell where we would ride on a tandem bike and drive around. There's so many things I could have done.

56:46Ronnie Karam: For example, she's getting there. And he's like, okay, what's your game here, lady? What do you want? And she's like, ah, here, look, I've left it right here in the horse stables where everybody can uncover for a little bit of hay and find it, it's dragon eggs. And she pulls out this chest of dragon eggs and opens it. He's like, what the hell? And she's like, yeah, your ancestor, Reyna, not to be confused with Rey, Rey, Reyna, Reynees, Reyne. Rey.

57:16Ben Mandelker: Rey. Reylicious. Rey. Rey. Rey. Reyne.

57:23Ronnie Karam: Reyne. Reyne. Reyne. Reyne. Reyne. your ancestor rei rei came to heron hall after her daughter died and then she grieved and grew old but her dragon laid a clutch of eggs after reina died and they've just sat here cold and abandoned these hundred years so i don't know do you know anybody with heat lamp i've just been waiting to ask you it's like it's like antiques dragon show she's like how much are these eggs

57:53Ben Mandelker: worth. I found them in the attic. I was going to sell them for about$5 a pop. So Amand is like, he's like, I have been cursed for my sins, Alice. All I put my hands to withers beneath its touch. It's like, you're not cursed, you just have a shitty personality. You're just an asshole. You're just an asshole. It's as simple as that.

58:15Ronnie Karam: And she's like, oh, do you think you're the only one around here who's cursed? Have you looked at me? I can command bats with my fingers. I live in a shithole that's been burned down 37 times just this week. Right.

58:29Ben Mandelker: The real curse is actually caring about this place, which apparently I do. Apparently I have a vision of flipping this and getting it onto HGTV, and I don't know why I can't give up on the dream, but here I am yet again.

58:39Ronnie Karam: Every single person I talk to have told me they're all load-bearing columns. Do you think that's easy?

58:47Ben Mandelker: It was going to be a$2 ,000 project, but then there's mold in the walls, and now here we are, six figures in. It's just the worst. I truly am cursed.

58:56Ronnie Karam: What does a girl have to do to get a little shiplap sent over here?

59:02Ben Mandelker: Talk about curse. She basically is like, yeah, well, we can bond by the fact that we're both cursed, kind of, and no one likes us, and so let's hold this egg between us, but we're going to move in a way that seems like we're sort of having sex while holding the egg. I can't quite tell. And so Alice is like, there's an ancient strength here. let the gods turn their backs on us we will make our own fortune i will be the lady of the water and you the dragon lord by my side and in the meantime you're a targaryen prince and your sons will be targaryen princes and there'll be frogs lots of frogs in the winter in the summer under the ice above the ice frogs as far as you can see what do you think um let's do the froggy um so

59:47Ronnie Karam: So now the egg starts getting warm. He's like, why is the egg warm? Why is the egg warm? People ask me that every time I jump into the pool. All right, let's do the frog. They presumably bang. Why did the egg get hot? Because someone was holding it or because he was touching it and he's a Targaryen? I think it's something like that.

1:00:11Ben Mandelker: Something like that. I also, you know, I put it in the microwave for about 20 seconds just to take a little bit of a fall out. so then we go over to King's Landing and Ray Ray is sitting on the throne listening to various town folks and guess what candles continue to be an issue so one person's like tallow is scarce and cost thrice of what it did we cannot light our sconces you know my response what are you doing like how could you have such few little tallow we need candles these tariffs are killing us and she's like you know what my response is you know what it is

1:00:43Ronnie Karam: you are the most pessimistic person about tallow that I've ever heard in the small council. I love that we're just getting tallow now in every storyline that we watch because it's on McBee Dynasty 2. And now here we go. They're like, we're short on tallow. Stephen's like, it's because Casey is not producing enough tallow. We are taking this business from her. My girlfriend is getting 20%. That's it.

1:01:08Ben Mandelker: It's like, okay, well, I mean, this is Sir Torrin Manderly is master of coin. it's his task now he has to distribute what tallow's available so talk to him i don't know what what else is new so then a lady of the sept comes up and she's like your grace the mother house lately enjoyed the production of the city watch by the way a spin-off with lady jane ormond and the lady on the small council should definitely be called mother house mother house i will watch

1:01:40Ronnie Karam: that. Yeah. Lindsay Hubbard would insist on being in it. I'm a mother now. Hub house, mother house. So basically, people are coming with the litany of complaints. There's no one protecting the city. Some girl has been kidnapped and probably killed. What is she going to do about it? It's like, oh, for Christ's sake. Why are you bothering me about it? Ow! And she cuts herself on the throne. And after, in the little after show thing they do, one of the guys was like, well, you know, when Ray Ray cuts her hand, the audience knows what happens when you cut your hand on that throne. Because we saw Viserys going through it.

1:02:19Ronnie Karam: And I was like, oh no, please don't put Ray Ray through the rotting disease. I can't watch Ray Ray rot.

1:02:27Ben Mandelker: I know. But it's also, they also sort of say that it's not just that she gets like, they actually make a big deal of this in the after show. They're like, one of the most important scenes to be that a shot in the history of television was this moment when she cuts her finger because it's like a pretty like generic scene of hearing the small folk and then she cuts her finger and she looks at it but they're like this is important because they're basically signaling that this is a turning point for rei rei like this is her decline starts now and um that the throne has rejected her so that's like another part of the mythology of the throne it's not just that like oh she cut herself and she could get the same disease that her dad had it's like she cut herself because the throne has said you are not meant for this which is funny because i feel like did a lot of people cut themselves on that throne in the original game of thrones maybe they but also notably in the original game of thrones there

1:03:20Ronnie Karam: weren't those swords around it was actually much yeah i feel like they filed the throne down over the years like they probably were like how many kings have we lost to like mad cow disease like We've got to start filing this throne down a little bit because everybody hurts themselves. So they did a much more subtle version of the throne as the years went on.

1:03:42Ben Mandelker: Yeah, somewhere along the way, someone said, you know what would be great? Why don't we make the armrests of the throne not sharp blades? That would probably be really good.

1:03:53Ronnie Karam: Yeah. Yeah. so um she walks out of there but we know now that her doom is upon her so now we go to damon and he is dressed like a gold well he's in his gold cloak outfit i guess so he's like the only person in town still wearing mustard embarrassing and uh he senses that someone's following him so he does that thing where you turn the corner real quick and then you you catch him with your knife because they come around the corner. And this guy's a real zealot. And he's like, who's trying to kill us? And he's like, oh, really? Religion, religion, blah, blah. We've all got you. We're all one. You cut one head off, you get ten frogs popping up.

1:04:33Ronnie Karam: In that person's head, you can't get rid of us, sucker. No one's going to tell you. But we're going to kill you. We're everywhere. You order French fries, we order French fries. Good luck eating us, bitch.

1:04:46Ben Mandelker: So he stabs him in the side. He's like, okay, I've had enough of you guys. you're just a fake willem dafoe i'm just gonna stab you in the face um so then damon's like walking away and then he runs into ulf and he's like what are you doing here and i was like well but there was talk a lot of talk about uh market days and i kind of miss market days and i was sort of hoping i could get i had mangoes are in season right now so i was hoping that i could get in line at the mango vendor it takes 30 minutes to get your mango and i was like it'd be not sure.

1:05:18Ronnie Karam: Gyro, gyro, I'm your hero. Do you know where I can get a gyro? Or a gyro. I'll pronounce it any goddamn way you want. Really in it for the Peter.

1:05:26Ben Mandelker: So Damon's like, here's something I learned from Lady Jane, and just hits him in the face. And Damon's like, set foot in the city again, and I'll put you out your eyes. And then the girl...

1:05:38Ronnie Karam: He's like, but men deserve their simple pleasures. Come on. We gotta get us a drink in us. What the hell?

1:05:46Ben Mandelker: commercials here comes one right now

1:05:51Ronnie Karam: one thing my mom loves is to bargain hunt she will go to a garage sale to a flea market any old sale at the mall i'm taking her from sale to sale to sale to sale and i finally found someplace online that i can just park her and she'll have the time of her life and that is whatnot whatnot

1:06:09Ben Mandelker: Not is an app that does live shopping. There's a whole community there on Whatnot. You're connecting with sellers and other shoppers, and it's kind of like hanging out with a group that gets you.

1:06:20Ronnie Karam: And this is like a really fun way to shop. You never pay full price there. You can shop named brands across makeup, perfume, clothes, handbags, jewelry, and more, all without the sticker shock. It's the best place to find great deals on products you love.

1:06:35Ben Mandelker: and there are amazing sellers with great, great taste and they're going live all the time, like 24 seven. You can comment in real time and they'll just show you like closeup of clothes. You'll be like, hey, can I get, can I see that a little bit closer? I want to see that detail on that shirt and they will show it to you because it's real time.

1:06:50Ronnie Karam: And you can sell too. Do you have clothes, bags or accessories sitting in your closet that you don't reach for anymore? What not makes it easy to turn them into cash? Connect with shoppers who share your style and have fun going live while doing it.

1:07:02Ben Mandelker: It's amazing what you can find on there. I literally just purchased a mid-century modern dance yellow paella pan for$35, and I've seen it listed elsewhere on the internet for$80. It was a bargain.

1:07:16Ronnie Karam: Download WhatNot today and get$20 off and free shipping on your first purchase. Search WhatNot, W-H-A-T-N-O-T in the App Store. Sign up and start finding the best deals on the products you love with$20 off and free shipping on your first purchase.

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1:08:36Ronnie Karam: Meanwhile, the little girl who helped send the Raven last week is watching this. Like, ooh.

1:08:41Ben Mandelker: I hate those little spy children. Yeah. They're ruining everything across both franchises. So then now, oh, God. Here's someone who's really dropped in my esteem. I didn't really care about him that much in the first place, but now I'm like, ooh. It's Hugh Hammer. So first of all, I think the fact that he sort of looks like Guy Fieri with long hair is a strike against him. I realize that fuels a lot of my hatred of him.

1:09:06Ronnie Karam: Well, that ruined it. I always think of him as kind of a younger Anthony Hopkins kind of a look. But wow, you just killed him. He's got a theory. He's got a theory. He's got a long hair.

1:09:16Ben Mandelker: Damn it. So he's supposed to be sitting there.

1:09:17Ronnie Karam: He's like, welcome to Flavortown.

1:09:21Ben Mandelker: Dumbledore's original name. So he's supposed to be sitting there keeping an eye on things. and instead he hijacks this horse and and buggy or a wagon he goes into templeton and he finds his wife and but well i i'll put a pause on that because actually we just see him right in right now but even him just abandoning his posts i was already mad at this guy man kills

1:09:48Ronnie Karam: a tradesman to like hijack his horse and stuff i mean selfish i'm telling you everyone on this show so then we go to ormond uh with gwayne and darren they're they're eating and ormond's giving a history lesson he's like oh well the common man oh blah blah never trust his way to one who's clawed his way into a power there's nothing scarier than a poor person who's got a little power am i right she's like and he's like yeah i mean ray ray made a good good pick with

1:10:20Ben Mandelker: Corliss, but there is a soundness to his breeding, not the sort of appetite of the river. Oh, reading this back,

1:10:31Ben Mandelker: the last thing of the episode is it looks like the Hightowers are going to kill Corliss. They surround him, and it looks like he's going to die. But now seeing the way Orman speaks of Corliss, he speaks of Corliss very highly here. He actually respects Corliss. It makes me wonder if they're just going to capture Corliss and try to get Corliss to come over to the other side. Oh, maybe. Because he's saying, that's a good time, because he's Mr. Ray Ray. Because why would he mention Corlys out of nowhere, unless it was actually sowing the seed that he wants to bring Corlys over to his side of the war?

1:11:07Ronnie Karam: I thought he was just giving shit to Miseria, like, oh God, can you guys believe Miseria? I mean, you let a poor person into power? I mean, she made a good choice with Corlys, but kind of fucked that one up. miseria queen of the pores she's been wearing the same dress ever since the first day in office so

1:11:24Ben Mandelker: whatever if i'm gonna have a ray on the throne i want to be a ray that i care about charlotte ray okay now now you're really talking about the facts of life so then a guard comes in and uh he's like

1:11:40Ronnie Karam: oh, House Baratheon's here. They want to meet the new king. And Ormond's like, oh, God, finally, finally, they're coming over to my side. I've just been sitting here waiting for all the great houses to come to my side. I told you cop killing would work. Okay, bring them in. Do I look okay? Does it smell okay in here? It's happy. I'm going to have more vanilla to the scent. I'm literally giddy.

1:12:04Ben Mandelker: Someone at the High Gardens know that we got Baratheon on board. They should joined to oh my god so then these baratheons come in and they're covered in mud and stink and ormond is losing his mind he's like he gets the edit where they're talking but all he hears is a wah wah wah wah wah and it's everything's this is like the camera's getting unsteady he's like it smells so bad in here get me out of here yeah they come in the the costumes that ray stole

1:12:32Ronnie Karam: from the baratheons but they're like covered in poop and stuff there's like flies over their head They're all like Big Ten. And he's like, and the guy's like, yeah, Baratheon, we really want to come to your side. We are huge, huge fans. Is that a plug-in? What is that smell? It is delicious. Oh, by the way, we just want to see the king face-to-face so we can be like, so is the king here? And he's like, yes, the king is right here. But Gwaine knows that this is bullshit. And so he just kills him. As we found out,

1:13:05Ben Mandelker: as evidence of it because he's gay. Because he's gay, he would have to be hyper-focused on what Lord the Baratheon would look like. I love that piece of evidence that Reddit came up with. He's clearly gay because he has attention to the fact that he has a different complexion. That makes him gay. So, but either way, Ormond is distracted because he's the color.

1:13:29Ronnie Karam: Well, different hair color and all that. But it's also that he paid attention because when they have those knights battles and stuff like that when everybody shows up to fight. Most of the people in power are so arrogant. They only care about, they're like, I'm going to win. They don't even notice the families or who's in, you know, they don't know who everybody is. And Gwaine paid attention. He knows who everybody is and who everybody looks like or what everybody looks like and stuff like that.

1:13:53Ben Mandelker: So he sees what's going on. And because Ormond is like distracted, both because he's excited with his plan and the smells are too much for him. it's Gwaine who realizes that something is afoot here by the way, and like a little bit lazy on behalf of whoever set these assassins up because like at least try to make them look like who it's supposed to be, you know so basically Gwaine stops it there's sword fighting and he's like, they're assassins let's kill them, so they kill them all it's like, well and then that was a big mistake

1:14:31Ronnie Karam: Well, first of all, he loses his shit. Well, Gwaine says, These are assassins sent for Darren. Sir Arian Baratheon has hair of light chestnut. He's about a foot taller, and as it happens, far more calmly.

1:14:48Ben Mandelker: And Ormond is like, Well, I will cleave the bitch from Crown to cut fitness. She will die wishing she never dared.

1:15:01Ben Mandelker: so uh over in tumbleton or elsewhere in tumbleton because we're already in tumbleton hugh finds cat she's like walking around doing that thing that you do when you're like an extra um in a period piece being like must tend to the laundry and you're gonna hang laundry or are you going to turn better those are your options that's what she is she's like my training has led me to this so she's in the hang laundry camp i think i think that's like her vibe so she sees him and then she's like sobbing she's like i thought you were dead oh my god it's you flavor town is saved and he's like i looked for you i went home you weren't there she's like i I know.

1:15:44Ben Mandelker: Well, I had to leave because there was so much chaos. I came here to my brother, and now he's dead, too. It's just been really terrible. By the way, where have you been? Yeah, and he's like, oh, I might not have heard the red convertible going around.

1:15:58Ronnie Karam: But it's been going to a lot of diners, a lot of drive-ins, and a lot of dives. And guess what? We are famous now. I did it! I claimed my own dragon! We're so famous! She's sobbing on the ground. He's like, honey, but we're famous now. I did it. She's like, really? So this is all about you becoming more famous? Well, congratulations. Do you know what the hell has been going on here? He's like, who cares? We're famous. We can get a house. And she's like, no, fuck you. I hate you now. Stupid fame. I don't even want to be famous.

1:16:28Ben Mandelker: but like you may not want to be famous but don't you not want to live in tumbleton anymore don't you like know that guy who's like you know squatting in your house don't you want to be able to hop on a dragon and go away to like a nice soft bed where you're safe and sound

1:16:44Ronnie Karam: yeah but like i told him he was like i he's like they're having dragon auditions i want to go and she's like no you're not gonna fucking go and he's like but i could be famous she's like i don't want you to be famous i want you to be here and be my husband you know and then he went anyway and so now he's like guess what i'm famous and she's like literally don't even watch american idol hate that show didn't want you now i have to i don't want this now what you're going to be taking campaigns and influencing now we're never going to be able to go have a dinner that you're not taking pictures of so you can get more likes on fucking instagram fuck you i didn't sign up for this yeah but i feel like if i were her i'd be like you know what i'm not happy about this i

1:17:24Ben Mandelker: will accept the offer to leave this terrible place but just know that wherever we get to we're sleeping in separate beds but yes i will get on your dragon to get out of templeton

1:17:34Ronnie Karam: yeah i guess i can see that part of it but man if you if you're not originally with an influencer and then your partner becomes an influencer i feel like that's an unfair burden on the marriage because that comes with a lot of stuff. And it comes with picture taking and ring lights and shit you just don't want in your life. I mean, look, Hugh is already parting his hair down the middle and keeping it straight like the people from Secret Lives of Mormon Wives. This is not going to end well, and she knows it. She has it.

1:18:06Ben Mandelker: We've seen enough Real Housewives to know that the spouses can rarely sustain the pressures of one of them becoming really famous and having to churn through their personal life for storylines. So it is bad. But I also kind of feel like, Kat, I understand you're mad at him, but you literally have oppression in your house right now. Please leave Tumbleton. Deal with us later. Just get on the dragon and go.

1:18:32Ronnie Karam: Well, I guess the argument is, and just adding to that, you were almost raped last week by somebody, and then there was a murder. Then your brother got killed. so like go to safety but then he's being such a dick because he's like you are coming it's like no I'm not and then so he grabs her and tries to get rough with her and he's like you are coming it's like okay so you want me to leave like all this violence and all these violent men to come with like another man who's just going to be a violent power hungry fuck fuck off yeah well

1:19:08Ben Mandelker: I'm glad that he sacrificed the safety of everyone by getting off his dragon and sinking into the town for this for this scene so then ormond and gwayne are uh are still talking and they're watching darren's you know sword fighting and ormond is like you did well before i treated you harshly and for that i'm sorry the strains of the campaign you may return to old town if you wish a small band of men won't attract attention to the dragons i'll not stop you he's

1:19:35Ronnie Karam: like yeah it's like i was a big dude but you saved my life so yay yay i totally support okay bye and Gwaine's like oh geez what is your plan here with this kid because he's actually smart like what are you doing with him he's like oh it's a secret I will never tell so now we go to Ray Ray and Allison discussing Helena again and Allison is still giving the she can't be confined you know listen I haven't explained exactly she has these visions and we need to protect her. She's like, oh, she's a dreamer.

1:20:15Ben Mandelker: Yeah. And she's like, yeah, she knows that Eamond is, I know we're, Eamond's in Harrenhal. She saw it. She's a dreamer. She gets it. She knows it. So, you know, there, I've given you something.

1:20:27Ronnie Karam: She's like, I will give you Eamond if you just let us go. I will betray another one of my children today if you just go. It's becoming a hobby. So, go kill Aemond in Harrenhal. And she's like, but I already tried Harrenhal. She's like, I've seen him. It's just Vhagar's not there. So go get his ass. Okay, bye. We'll be on our way now. And she's like, no, no. Actually, he's not going to just come out for anybody unless there's bait. And I know what bait he wants. Mommy boobies. So you will take your mommy boobies over there. You will turn him on and get him out of there.

1:21:00Ben Mandelker: And I'll take care of Helena. And she definitely won't throw herself out of any windows. So, uh, Or she won't eat any nightshade. Everything will be fine with Elena. And I definitely won't pressure her to tell me what my future is. Everything will be totally cool and chill here. Go on now. Have a fun time at Harrenhal where things always turn out well.

1:21:20Ronnie Karam: Yeah. So then, so Allison's got, and Rainier is not going to go back on this. She's like, oh no, you're going. Bye. And so Allison's like, did I not warn you that you would come to this? Oh, give me a break. she's never been mean to your children your children have always your side of the family has always been horrible to her she's not going to be mean to helena and also you're the one betraying your own children like who are you to say did i not warn you you would come to this

1:21:48Ben Mandelker: you're selling out your own son again yeah so um helena and allison are talking and helena's like i don't want to be alone she's like well nor do i but i have no choice here she's like but you could refuse and aemon would still like would still be like to die do not wish to be free she's like but then why am i here was there no other lord that offered my hand or was it your own desire to marry me to my brother she's like well it was my shit dad's wish sorry to say and you know what it was a good idea i think at the time but uh yeah so look we have a chance for freedom where you can be outside because apparently you have to be outside so can you just relax and Can you also stop poking yourself with that needle?

1:22:30Ben Mandelker: Jesus, Helena, get a hold of yourself.

1:22:34Ronnie Karam: Yeah, we see what she's been needle pointing. And it's like a man in a, I don't know, I took it like a fetal position. Yeah, it's in the fetal position and he's in a circle of blood. I took it to be like her baby or something. It didn't look like a baby. It looked like a man, but like the future death of her baby. And I guess she's making the tapestry from the beginning, right?

1:22:58Ben Mandelker: because that's what i was thinking i was thinking that that tapestry is hers sort of like that moment in game of thrones where we saw like the opening credits was at the was it the citadel or wherever the or the wherever the all the scholars are but um sorry i'm sorry game of thrones i just get something wrong every single week and i know everyone's like man it was not the citadel but um the the thing is that um uh when i saw it i was like that looks like it's aemon because the the the man had the blue the single blue eye and it looked like amond curled up the blood looked like it could have been a pool of his own blood it could have been like a womb so it could have been like her baby there's also that blue eye is not nothing it's definitely giving a white walker vibe so is this like are we seeing this is going to lead to the rise of the white walkers this is where they were gone for all those years.

1:23:55Ben Mandelker: Now they're back. Is this going to lead to that in some way? I find it to be very intriguing, and I would like some answers.

1:24:04Ronnie Karam: You will not get them for 10 years. That's for sure.

1:24:11Ronnie Karam: Then we go to Ray Ray and Orwell, and uh-oh, there's been a writer from Tumbleton. She gets something written, blood all over it. and it says, kick this dog and it will bite your hand, Biotr! He's like, I wonder who this could be from. On the other side, it says, God, I love Gaga's new album.

1:24:36Ben Mandelker: Well, that's some unsolicited testimony. So then we go to Corliss and his men. And Corliss has decided, I guess, that they're going to go back to King's Landing.

1:24:47Ronnie Karam: So yeah, you know Corliss is in trouble when he's like, okay, men, I've decided that's enough battle. Let's just go home, shall we? Alright, this is all. I've already had my worst. Let's give in to Ray Ray and just all be a nice, big, happy family. So, of course, people come out of the dark to get him. And he's like, who are you? And he draws a sword, but they get him from behind. We don't see him die, so we don't know if he's dead or kidnapped or what's going to happen, but

1:25:17Ben Mandelker: he does his best work on the sea. He's not really great on land, it turns out. But yeah. Yeah. Hopefully he's not dead. I like my theory that he's going to be tempted by the other side, abducted. And maybe they're even going to get him to turn because he already has an issue with Ray Ray. And maybe he does turn. And it's like, oh my god, Coral, how could you do that? But it turns out he's a double agent. And then at a critical moment, he's like, I would never do this for a Hightower. And then kills Ormond. That's my hope for where this goes.

1:25:49Ronnie Karam: I just think he's dead. Because the letter said it will bite your hand. Unless they terribly... Because I don't think he would betray all his kids, too. He just got his sons back. I mean, both his kids, I guess I should say. He just got his sons back. But who knows? Who knows with this show? I think it'll probably end with a head on a spike. I like your way better. Because I like Cordy Q.

1:26:15Ben Mandelker: They're all going to die. That's what we're learning. One by one, they all die. It's a war of attrition, ultimately.

1:26:21Ronnie Karam: What's the thing about watching anything that takes place a long time ago? You know they're all dead now. So it's just getting to know how it happened.

1:26:29Ben Mandelker: And also, all the dragons will die. We can't forget that all the dragons are going to be gone. Right? They're all going to die. Game of Thrones starts where there's no more dragons, right?

1:26:38Ronnie Karam: They're so cute. Like today, two of them were cuddling up. Like Hugh and Ulf's dragons. One's like huge and one's really tiny. And the bigger one was like, little ones like we're talking and like neck nuzzling so cute kill the humans what the dragons do besides burn thousands of people they're cute well I guess

1:27:02Ben Mandelker: we'll find out what happens next week I'm looking forward to a million corrections and in the meantime by the way I highly encourage people to go check out House of the Dragon Twitter because people have some very funny memes up there. Although I was really mad. I forgot to mention Sunday night. I sort of mindlessly went onto Twitter at like 8 o 'clock and I forgot. East Coast has already seen the show. And right there, someone was like, wow, they killed Kristen Cole in the first time I missed the show. I was like, damn it. But then I was like, you know what? That's okay. I'm going to get you.

1:27:35Ronnie Karam: I watch this show as it airs. This is something I watch live. When it turns 6 p.m. here in Los Angeles. I know. I should do it. I watch it right away because Girl They'll tell you everything that happened This week I will watch it live Yeah Oh, that's good Then we can text each other during it Be like, wait, who's gay? Is somebody gay? That'll be our whole time

1:28:02Ben Mandelker: Messed up the whole gay thing I'm really ashamed of myself

1:28:06Ronnie Karam: Well, he didn't come out of the closet But I don't know I think that it's correct that He was being gay bashed by Orman Orman was clearly making little gay jokes at him.

1:28:16Ben Mandelker: It's just like, that scene happened, I wasn't really listening too carefully to what they were talking about, because sometimes they just have pattern, and I wasn't really paying attention to the fact that there was a lot of, like, you know, Orman was basically saying, oh, and he said, go, take him to his room,

1:28:30Ronnie Karam: but keep your back against the wall. I was like, oh, really? He still has a mouth. And like, are you outing him as gay or outing him as a top? Because neither one of them is too bad, you know? Jerk. Yeah. anyway that was House of the Dragon thanks everybody so much for being here we will talk to you god we've got two more weeks only left of this show what a bummer but we'll be back for both of them so we'll talk to you next time bye

1:28:58Ben Mandelker: bye watch what crappens would like to thank its premium sponsors ain't no thing like Alison King our way is the amber way it's the foster and the furious it's Amanda Foster it's always automatic with Ashley Otto Put your hands together for Carly Clapp.

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1:31:06Ronnie Karam: The incredible edible Matthews sisters. She eases our woes. It's Melissa St. Rose. There's a chance of meatballs. It's Rebecca Cloud. She's our princess. It's Rebecca Prince. She's the queen bee. It's Sarah Lemke. We cannot tell a lie.

1:31:21Ben Mandelker: It's Sarah Talifson. Shannon out of a cannon Anthony. Please don't stop. It's Soli and Pop. Let's take off with Tam LaPlane. Strike a pose. It's Tori Rose.

1:31:32Ronnie Karam: She ain't no shrinking Violet Kuchar. We love you guys. This episode is sponsored by McDonald's.

1:31:40Ben Mandelker: I'm having my hot Caesar summer, Ronnie. Yes. Caesar sauce. I feel like we don't talk about Caesar sauce enough because it's so, so good. I love to dip everything into it. Have you ever dipped fries in Caesar sauce before?

1:31:52Ronnie Karam: I mean, I just have. It is delicious. Caesar sauce is like a Parmesan, garlicky blend with some lemon in it. And you can dip anything in there.

1:32:00Ben Mandelker: One thing I have been known to do is to stop over at McDonald's and go to the drive-thru and get myself a Caesar snack wrap and just dip some fries in the Caesar sauce. Also, the Krispy's drips in the Caesar sauce. Honestly, try it. It's really good.

1:32:15Ronnie Karam: Listen, I say if you put Caesar sauce on something, that automatically makes it better. Yes, that's really all you need is the Caesar sauce.

1:32:22Ben Mandelker: I think I just want to have just a constant supply of Caesar sauce and put it on things at all times.

1:32:29Ronnie Karam: Yeah, I'm a straight up French fry and Caesar sauce kind of a boy. That's what I love. And that's how I'm going to go down.

1:32:35Ben Mandelker: Right now at participating McD's, the$2.99 Caesar snack wrap is making me rethink my go-to order.

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