#3494 Below Deck Med S11E10: Fly the Coop

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1:51Hello and welcome to Watch What Crappens. I'm Ronnie. That's Ben over there. Hello, Ben. Hi, Ronnie. How's it going? Good. Welcome to the show, everybody. Today is Below Deck Med Day, Season 11, Episode 10, Crazy Stupid Love. If you want this on video, come to our Patreon. That's also where you get our bonus episodes. This week, we're going to do a trailer trash for the new Real Housewives of Salt Lake City preview. You also get ad-free listening over there, newsletter that's free, Discord server to chat with each other. So join us over there, and thanks to everybody who supports us there. You can also find videos every week free.

2:32They become free on YouTube a week later. That's YouTube.com slash What's What Grappens. And today, it's Below Deck Mediterranean. Wow, you know, we've always been huge Norma fans on this show. But Norma, what are you doing over there? She can't find anybody to get on this boat

2:51Ben Mandelker: She's had enough Norma's got a life She's got things to do She doesn't need Captain Sandy Bothering her every second For a deckhand Enough Let Norma live Do you think Norma's dating or something And that's why she's distracted She's like off at the Cannes Film Festival She's just you know she's like mingling with celebrities you know she's watching her her phone go off here and there see it's just captain sandy and she's just like i'll get to her later right now i'm gonna hang out hey ben this is captain sandy i think you misunderstood norma's at the can festival where they celebrate cans um i saw her taking selfies with the campbell soup so actually uh there was uh campbell uh campbell scott that uh that i'm with right now he's a celebrity i believe he was in a movie with julia roberts back in the day i think that's what his name was anyway the point is this bitch um maybe if you could do a better job on that boat then i don't then i wouldn't have to leave the can festival for your woods as in wouldn't it be nice if you had a deckhand.

4:08Ben Mandelker: Sorry, can't help, bitch. Bloop. Bloop. I'm not reading all that, but I wish you the best. Bloop. I don't need you to wish me the best. I'm already having the best at the World's Best Can Festival. Thank you. Bloop. Below deck man, here we go. Crazy, stupid love. It's the second day of charter in Croatia, and Sandy's on FaceTime with Nathan. He's like, I don't know when I'll be back, but God, it's good spending time I'm with Gail and the baby. I thought, oh, wow. Lucky Gail. Now she gets to take care of two children. Yeah, exactly. I know. This is the monkey paw situation. Be careful what you wish for.

4:50Ben Mandelker: Gail, you wanted more Nathan. Well, you got more Nathan. And now you have to take care of both of them. And now he's probably moaning and groaning and surly and annoying. And so. And his back is bruised. So he can't even carry around the baby and stuff. So, yeah, be careful what you wish for. You wanted him back on this boat. She's probably just back there like, oh, my God. please go back to the boat please please please leave me alone with my favorite i'm in pain um so sandy's like i have never been in this situation ever in my life i got wordle on the first try it's an unbelievable took me six years but i did it wow never been in this situation oh also i don't do you have anyone working on this boat?

5:32Ben Mandelker: Okay. My deck team is Joe. Okay. I've got Cooper who's super green. There's Asia who's the chief stew. And you know, one of those little octopus things that you throw at the wall and that walks all the way down, you get in a cereal box. That's my fourth deck hand. It's a real problem. So Sandy goes to talk to Joe Cooper and Asia and she's like, oh wow. Guess what? We're on our own tomorrow. Okay. And just like, ah, Nathan, Nathan's out of action then is nathan gone what happened to nathan ah contain your excitement boy like his eyes are popping out of his head his he's doing his teeth together smile like this guy is so excited bro have some chill yeah well unfortunately uh nathan will not be here he's not related reliable he's good old unreliable nathan today and he's not coming back for today or tomorrow So we're going to be docking this boat without him.

6:28Ben Mandelker: Unfortunately, I just, I really need you to focus. Okay. So Aisha, maybe we can put some people out there, you know, while you're docking. I think it'll be fine. Just fine. Where everything's going to be fine. Why don't they just like radio to a neighboring boat and be like, Hey, can we send a tender out and get one of your deckhands to come on board here and help us dock our boat? We had an injury. Like, is that allowed? Can you do that? Well, that's a Sandy classic. Remember when they lost the chef and then they, didn't they get like a, an assistant She was a resident chef from another boat, and it was that, it was a Russian lady, right?

6:58Ben Mandelker: Daka, Duka, Dasha, Dushka, Dushka, Dushka, Dushka. She didn't know anything. She's like, that was a classic. Yeah. Get Dushka back. Where's she? You know, they bring a lot of people back. It's like, why are we even thinking of Max when there's Dushka out there? Come on, man. Dushka was classic. so um joe's like what it's hard enough you know doing this with four decades and now we've got two true decades and i don't know how we're supposed to do this but i'm gonna do it because i'm a hero i'm a hero so it's just like we've got it it's gonna be fine so then the pantry jen is getting jen is getting changed for the for the dinner this whatever she has to wear like a flapper dress and then the galley, Sandy and Joy are there and Sandy's like, hey, so what's for dinner, young French lady?

7:53Ben Mandelker: She's like, lobster, caviar, bread and oysters. What about Nathan? Oh, he's going to be okay. You know, we're going to dock the boat tomorrow without him. I was wondering maybe you could help. I was thinking maybe you just take the wheel and then I'll drop an anchor. How about that? Are you comfortable driving a mega yacht? Is that within your skill set, Joy? I'm just, I'm in a desperate place. Glad you're working on caviar, but I'm going to need you to unclog a shower. Someone waffle stomped some bread. So, get out of there, Joy. You can do this. It's all going to be fine. And Joy's like, I can help you.

8:30I can see what's outside of the world, too.

8:34Ben Mandelker: Yes, yes, I could. I have a question. When you are docking the boat, do you need puff pastry? I mean, it wouldn't hurt But I don't know I'll circle back to you on that one So Kaylee is asking What she needs to put out for dinner Does she need a thing for the oysters? And she's like, uh, yes, a fork Okay, and Aisha's just listening to them She's like, do you need my help with service? No, we've got it We've got it So Aisha's so impressed With Kaylee's ability To keep things running I would take my help if it's offered, but it's not being taken. So I'm going to lie here in the bed and take some noodles down.

9:17I wish we had a montage of her just eating noodles in bed because it's become one of my favorite things after a night out.

9:25Ben Mandelker: Yeah, she although she actually changed it up this this week instead of doing noodles later on in the episode. She just shook a maraca endlessly. But yes, I agree. asia eating the noodles in bed like that is her thing um so now everyone's getting changed for for dinner service and joe is like well done today mate you did a great job and coop's like thank you brother there's a way to motivate me and you do it um yeah he's so easily influenced i mean yeah he does he have a daddy issue like what's his deal that he needs everybody to be his daddy and then it's the second it turns joe finally turns him where he's bitched about nathan so much by the way nathan wasn't helping with his attitude but he's finally turned cooper to his side and now cooper is so joe he's like i want to be a player i just want to flirt with other girls like daddy's doing cooper is definitely the guy in the film noir who gets seduced into doing the crime and then is shocked when he's the one who gets arrested and everyone else gets away with it like he is the one that linda fiorentino's like has in her sights in the last seduction he is the one that like christopher walken gets to like rob a farm in at close range like he is just the patsy he is always the patsy yeah and he he like he gets excited when these people sidle up to him whether it's like a sexual seduction or just like a friendship seduction and then he gets he is the one who gets caught like the the bright light of the police cruiser is on his face and he's holding the bag and he's like wait but my friend said he was coming back for these i didn't rob the bank it's like yep you got caught and here he is believe this one boys this is in prison it's also kind of like the little chicken in the cartoon that keeps running around saying are you my mother are you my mother are you my mother are you my mother what wait what cartoon is that like are you my mother oh or like you my mommy or something he's just like going around trying to find a new daddy with everything because everybody guys falling by the way fucking chicken little chicken little one of the one of the most probably bottom two chickens in the world right the most annoying chicken why did anyone believe chicken little why did chicken little think the sky was falling anyway was it because it was raining or something um well i mean didn't he chicken no one believed him and the sky's still up right i don't know why i thought this guy little feels like he would definitely be a reality star so like so extra about something that's like not needing to be extra about um are you is are you mother are you my mother written by dr seuss no he did not write that it was written and illustrated by pd eastman Well, there you go, everybody.

12:19Petey Eastman looks shockingly like Stephen Sondheim. Just looked it up. So there's some useless information for everybody today. Run with it. So they're sitting for dinner, and the stews are serving bread and oysters and bellinis for caviar. And Jen serves the bellinis, and she's like, oh, my God, there's no room. There's no other plate here. There's just a bread plate. Katie put in the whole effort to put down an extra fork for these appetizers, but didn't have the brainpower to realize you need a fucking plate. I mean, the fact that I'm serving caviar and oysters on a bread plate. If my heads of service could see this right now, they would literally have a stroke.

13:02Hi, you're in service. It's part of your duty also to make sure the plates are sat, you know, or the plates are dropped for whatever is coming up next. And as someone with so much training, you should know that, madame. Yes, exactly.

13:19Ben Mandelker: I mean, I feel like her monologue is hilarious, first of all. It's like crazy if this is a real monologue. I feel like it's a monologue that I would give from the spectator seat of watching it at home and talking about it on a podcast. But if you're actually up there in the field and you have the ability to change it, I think what I would do is I would say, oh, you know what? Let me get you guys some larger plates. And then I would put the tray down on the bar and I would serve the larger plates. Because you're either going to do the unprofessional thing, which is put the stuff, cram it onto a bread plate, or you're going to do the unprofessional thing, which is put the food down on the side for two seconds while you put out some plates.

14:03Ben Mandelker: because the plates are right there, right? Aren't they like by the bar or something? So like this - Or a servant. I don't know. I mean, if they're doing it kind of family style, serve the food and then bring the plates. It's cold food. It's not like it's hot food. It's caviar. Come on. Yeah. But I did love that she acted like this was a flagrant foul, like a huge demerit on Kaylee's work. And like she's acting as if someone had shattered a glass and then put it in someone's bedsheets and didn't say anything. Or even worse, came in bedsheets for three days and didn't do anything about it. So, like, she's like, I cannot believe they have to eat the oysters and the caviar on a smaller than usual plate.

14:51Ben Mandelker: It's absurd. Yeah, and she says as she walks away, oh, I knew there weren't going to be appetizer plates on that fucking table. I'm not going to say a fucking word. And that's why you're never going to succeed. because nobody wants to work with that. You're a toxic, horrible human being. Also, you're young, you know, and I get that. But that's a lot of change that's going to need to happen because nobody wants to work with somebody like that. No. You don't lift others up by pushing, or you don't lift up by pushing other people down, okay? I mean, I guess technically you can. Like if you push people down and then you stand on top of them, you'll technically be higher, but you'll also be standing on a lumpy person.

15:31And that's not no way to stand. Like your back's going to start hurting and your knees are going to be uneven. Yeah, she's just happy for Kaylee to fail.

15:43Ben Mandelker: And so she's not going to help her out when there are mistakes. So she's just hoping that the guests will complain later and then Kaylee will get in trouble. That's what she's trying to do, which is toxic. It's not helpful. And that's why she's not going to do well. I would say she'll have trouble finding jobs in the yachting industry, except it's clear she'll be back for like one or two more seasons of Below Deck because they have to bring her back now. She is such a great, miserable stew and so funny that she has to be in the mix going forward. It's time for a commercial. It's time for a Crappens commercial.

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18:11Ben Mandelker: Set in 1980s Los Angeles, the series follows a group of glamorous, deeply entangled high school seniors drawn into a life of wealth, beauty, parties, and excess. At its center is Brett, whose reality begins to unravel when the arrival of a new student coincides with a series of mysterious murders. FX's The Shards, now streaming on Hulu. So now everybody goes to bed, and the next morning, Joe and Kaylee are flirting through windows. they're lifting up their shirts man Coop's like Joe and Kylie are on the same wave going up and down they're my parents you know I really want a relationship just like theirs just to watch how it's lasted over the days and then the producers like are you and Kat on the same wave he's like oh hell no I mean I still like Kat but at the same time I don't like letting everybody's thoughts and eyes seep into what's going on between us.

19:09Ben Mandelker: I can feel the pressure. What are you talking about? Like, what does that mean? You feel the pressure? Like, what does that mean? Like, I think because everybody keeps telling them like, oh my God, you were so cute. You better be good to Kaylee. You better be good to, you know what I'm trying to say. Don't mess it up with her. She's a great person. He's like, oh my God, are we dating? Are we married? But they're saying that because you act like that with her and also you're both such big goofy dorks that there's no there's no real other option you know what i mean i think everybody is seeing it but he wants to think of himself as like a joe who's just going to be playing all the girls yeah and it's like no babe you're a big goofy dork and this is this is your lot right and like i get i i'm not like oh my god i'm confused by these words what does that mean pressure i've never heard of this i the point is that like i like we've heard a million times from a million guys on a million of these shows like oh my god there's just so much pressure but what does that really mean when you drill down to it what does it really mean people are asking about your relationship they're being nosy sure if you don't want if you don't want to keep on having to just like talk about your relationship you just tell people listen i really like her but the more you guys ask me the more i'm getting frustrated i don't want to hurt her whatever you just say please stay out of my business but um like this idea that you're going to blame her for it and you're going to pull away from her because you can't handle other people's questions is like so unevolved i think well that's cooper i don't think anybody would judge i don't think anybody would judge cooper is evolved you know what i mean definitely no one would see him and be like wow but just such a stupid excuse in general it's like it is but But it's a new one, at least, because normally it's like she's pressuring me.

20:58She's pressuring me. I'm feeling so much pressure. And usually that's non-existent, too. But that's just what they say. And in this one, it's like he's feeling the pressure from everybody else, which is so weird. It's just like we're so famous. We're just such a huge celebrity couple. And it puts pressure on our relationship.

21:15Ben Mandelker: I kind of think that, like, anytime someone complains about pressure, that means they're actually really not in it anyway. because if you're not in it, the reason why you feel pressure is that you're feeling pressure to play the role of the boyfriend or whatever. Like you feel the pressure that you have to see this thing through and you know you actually have no interest in seeing it through and you're only in it for maybe some booty, you know? And now there's pressure on you to do more than that. That's where you feel the pressure. So I think anytime anyone says it's too much, there's too much pressure or whatever, whatever, it means that they actually are just not into it i think that's like the i think he's clearly right to it he's clearly not into it but it's not like she's just chasing him he was doing this and that's what makes me crazy is specifically on below deck where they're like oh my god i'm so in i'm so in i just want you to know i really like you and i'm gonna take you on a date and you're just the kind of girl i'm always looking for and then suddenly it's like some other dude's like, well, you should be dating around.

22:18There's so much, there's so many people that here, you shouldn't tie yourself down. You know, that's not the way to do it. And then suddenly he's like, yeah, I ain't going to tie myself down and almost like wants to look cool. And then it's like, what is she acting crazy for? Yeah. You know, we just met people are just ridiculous. Loser, loser. And I knew it was going to happen. I mean, we knew it was going to happen. He was just too nice and we know this man is from charleston it's in his charleston what did i say no i was agreeing i was like you said charleston i said charleston oh yeah charleston i was like in the regional dna so we knew that this was something was going to happen but the fact that he can still do with that big goofy smile on his face his eye does get a glint when he's being mean you know but he's Still got that big, stupid, goofy smile.

23:10It's just disappointing. Yeah, it is.

23:15Ben Mandelker: It is. You can't believe in anybody anymore. If I can't believe in Koopa, where am I? Who am I? What is this world?

23:28Ben Mandelker: So, Joe's making breakfast. And then on the deck, Sandy's like, Like, okay, Joe, we're going to be next to a big boat that's in there. Okay? Or as I like to call it, a Norma boat. Okay, sorry. God, I wish I had texted that to her. I don't know if she would have liked it, but I would have. So I want to talk to the interior because you can't really touch a line. Okay, you got to talk to me. So go give them some lessons on throwing lines. Do you think that this could go wrong by having a bunch of people who've never been on the deck throw lines to the dock? You think you could do this? super important i want to make sure we all know it's extremely dangerous if you have touched lines without being trained so get everybody over here for five seconds of me saying go get the lines okay let's go team let's go team um so joe joe tells kaylee that he's gonna need her and kaylee tells us since joe's kind of become the bosun and i'm the acting chiefs too i kind to feel like we become an accidental power couple but i'm normally in the interior and i've not done this before so this is like really scary even for someone who's in an accidental power couple it really is on each team member to pull their weight because everyone on this boat knows how bad a docking can go should we cue the flashback and once again this is like now going to be sandy's bane of her existence every episode they find a way to show the boat crashing into the dock and And then something falling off the cupboard in the galley.

24:58Ben Mandelker: And Jen in the stew mask. Every episode. Yeah. It's like the Captain Jason. Wasn't it Captain Jason who his first season talked about how he crashed into a restaurant or something? And then Glenn. Glenn crashed too. And then Glenn. And they never let it go. It's still. It's like, well, we did a good job. We saw a seal today. Cut to a boat crashing. 20 years ago. Oh, look, Roy Orbison Jr. is coming back on this boat. Cut to the boat just crashing. Whoa, was that a commentary on his music career? So Joe brings every team member, Interior and Joy, to assist with docking. And, you know, it's like, oh, girls, girls, get to the Tinders.

25:47One-sided Fenders, Fenders, not Tinders. Fenders, Joy, you're on the bar with Aisha. I'm going to teach you now everything. Kaylee, you'll be with me on this end. This is what leadership is.

25:58Ben Mandelker: Oh, God. There's a lot of wind. Oh, man. Of all the times for them to drop a new episode, it's right when I'm trying to dock. Oh, God. Okay. Sheffy, you're on anchor. Kat, you're on that line. Kaylee, you're on a fender. And Jen, you just put those braids down and just look crazy. Okay. Maybe scare away a boat so we have more clearance. Since the beginning of the season, I've believed myself to be a bosun. I didn't expect to have to prove it. talking about down two decades i was made to lead okay sure

26:34Ben Mandelker: he's finally pulling out of that hole that he found himself in when he sold a house to a fraudster and then had to dump his girlfriend in shame yes the joe backstory oh my god that's what this is all building that's what this is building to after after i was defrauded when i tried to sell a flat to someone and they ran away with the money and i was so embarrassed like i just i had to leave my girlfriend because i couldn't even bear to look at her face and this is the first time i've felt successful since then you know that monologue is coming very soon oh man i forgot that backstory i love that because it really didn't make sense right he was selling real estate but then someone ran away with a bunch of money what money how'd you get like um but some sort of down i don't know there was some exchange of money that was not secured and like someone ran off with the money the house was not sold he either lost a job or got into trouble or who knows and then he was he had been dating the love of his life and he was so upset by the thing that this whole situation that he dumped her because he couldn't bear to like go back to her and didn't like the real estate shame and nothing nothing made sense didn't they show him it wasn't he like and i was so depressed i went through a dark depression and then they showed him eating a sandwich and we were like oh my god the depression it's like whatever picture they chose to show of him was him just eating a sandwich sweatily it's like oh it was an ai generated backstory let's be honest it was this was like ai slop of a backstory there's a lot of wind oh my gosh They're using an AI version of Lou Diamond Phillips in this one.

28:15This is good. Hope you guys have everything covered. I'm watching. This looks scary as hell, by the way. It looked like they were going to hit the other boat. Because they're always trying to scare us. Like, oh, my God, we're almost going to die. It's going to work. Everybody on the boat. Everybody overboard. Try to get to Kathy Bates' tender. Try to get to Kathy Bates' tender. But this time the boat really did look like it was about to hit the other boat

28:43Ben Mandelker: You know what? I wasn't scared this time I felt like it was okay I mean, technically there was contact made Because Kaylee threw a line out Yeah, I'm sorry, Ronnie I was unaffected by the editing this time What bravery? Yeah, well, I had faith I had faith, you know, Joy was on anchor I was like, it's okay Kaylee does at one point throw a line to the dock And she misses and just whacks a police boat that's like next door and she's like it was worse when jen started throwing appetizer plates at the billionaire boat it's like um yeah and then when she went over to that boat was like you want to fuck um so then uh joy is she's texting with luke which really is so disappointing i mean you really must get lonely on these boats huh like you're just isolated and horny and you have this guy with a great tall great body who's just love bombing you with via text i guess it you would be susceptible but uh god i just wish she would have higher standards and she uh or not even higher standards i just wish she just had someone else that she could higher standards i think that's fair to say i agree with that yeah but i think it's prison i think it's like prison love you know you're stuck so you're stuck somewhere there's no other options i mean look at all the things that people do in prison and gay porn yeah well i uh i i think that's a great example she's like in a gay prison gay porn right now okay i was gonna say look what people do in prison but i really don't know i mean my only experience with prison is that netflix show where all the ladies are in prison or like gay porn i think the better example is like a wedding you go to a wedding and it's like, oh gosh, you know, but then, you know, cause a lot of people go to weddings just to hook up with other wedding guests, but then you're like, you get there and you're like, oh, no one really, no one really worthwhile.

30:33Ben Mandelker: But then after a while you're like, these are my only options. And then people start getting drunk and eventually people start to hook up because this is, you know, you have higher standards in general, but within the confines of the wedding, this is your only pool. So you just gotta like, Like you make it. You know what? Why don't we compromise here and say this is just like a prison wedding and gay party. It's basically the same thing. So you got to kind of excuse it, you know. There we go. That seems right. So Joy is texting with Luke and he's like, thinking about you a lot. I'm really thinking about you.

31:07You know, doesn't he give her a voice or like a video text where he's like, it's you, you that I'm thinking of. I hope that you get this and you're thinking of me too.

31:22Ben Mandelker: Good old Luke. So the guests leave. And Aisha's like, oh my God, you did so well, Kelly. And Jen's just watching like, she doesn't know about the appetizer blades. and now they've got a Sandy's on the bridge and she's texting Norma. She's like, please tell me you found a deckhand. Bloop. Bloop. No, but I did find a dick in my hand. Bloop. I don't think now is a time for joking, Norma. We know that never really would ever happen with you. Bloop. Bloop. It's not a joke. I went to a wedding in a prison in a gay porn. I'm in love. I'm not staffing anymore. Good luck to you, dumb bitch. Bloop.

32:19Ben Mandelker: I don't even know what to do with that information, but I have to say that if you went to a wedding in a gay porn, they all like me first. Bloop. I turned them gay. Bloop. They're my sloppy seconds. Bloop.

32:38Bloop. You know what? I've got a microwave. I'll heat them up. Bloop.

32:44Ben Mandelker: You don't have to heat anything up because the hot stuff is happening over here at the Cannes Film Festival. Bloop. Bloop. I just got a report from another boat that someone threw an appetizer plate at a police boat. Bloop. That is very concerning. I'll have to ask the policeman in my bed what to do about that. Bloop. Listen, I gotta go, but I hope you watched The Last Wind with Lou Diamond Phillips. It would have been a terrible one to miss. He was on AI for five seconds. Hope you didn't miss it. Lady who was busy during the talking. Bloop. I got an advanced screener of it, actually, because guess what?

33:24Last night, I had sex with Lou Diamond Phillips.

33:28Ben Mandelker: Bloop. Cannes Film Festival, baby. Dot, dot, dot. Dot, dot, dot. Dot, dot, dot. Norma's just gonna leave her on red. So I really like that Norma found somebody. I'm so happy for her. So main salon tip meeting. Wow, not a lot of people are here. Look at that. Thankfully you're all thin and gorgeous. Okay, I loved watching y 'all work together. You know, there were no egos involved. Just a lot of eyebrows, okay? And someone who kept running around the deck screaming, I was born to be a leader. I was born to be a leader. By the way, I just want to say, I think that in the middle of that interchange, I think I switched over to Norma in the middle of it.

34:13Ben Mandelker: So I think we were just Norma texting Norma, which probably clarifies. That probably clarifies. You go to Norma to text her, mate. People are like, why would Sandy be texting that? Sorry. Almost a weird one today. It was a weird episode today, because I got distracted and we didn't know what to do with ourselves. Well, everybody did great. I'm so proud of you, Joe. I got a phone call from Nathan and guess what? He's not coming back next charter. And I don't know when Nathan's coming back, but here's the thing. Joe's eyebrows have gotten even stronger. So we've got all three Joes here today. Okay.

34:56So congrats to Joe and the two little Joes. Yeah.

35:00Ben Mandelker: the good news is that this boat now has two more anchors and they're called Joe's Eyebrows so Sandy is like basically puts Asha on deck again and Kaylee's gonna be heads to once again so Jen is furious I don't know if you said that already but he's like I don't want to go TMI but I'm fully erect right now we know how's this different than any other day Okay, everyone, send out good vibes for Nathan, okay? Because we're still going to share our tip with him. And because you did such a fabulous job, you have the day off tomorrow. And I've arranged for you all to go to a beach club and have organized a really special dinner for you tonight, okay?

35:48Ben Mandelker: You're going to be having Branzino. There, I'll set it. It's Branzino. God, I can't help it. God, I love that Branzino. Meeting adjourned. So do they still have to split the tips with Nathan? I wonder if she's probably going to split, huh? Yeah, they do. I guess that's normal. So then we go to crew cabins. Jen FaceTimes her mom. And we get to see her mom, which I really loved because her mom's like, oh, hi, Jen. She's like typing in some financial office, in some corner office somewhere. Like, hi, Jen. Hi, honey. She's like, mom, things aren't going smoothly on service. things were just not how they were supposed to be.

36:29I just can't do this, Mom. You know me. I'm like a perfectionist with appetizer plays. You know me, Mom. That's a girl you raised.

36:38Ben Mandelker: And her mom's like, well, you know, I saw a post on social media. Are you on that social media network, honey? It's called Successful Parents Whose Children Can't Surpass Them. It's a great site. So I saw a post on it, And it said, I had to stop expecting me from other people. Jen's like, I'm not trying to be jealous or competitive or a bitch right now. But if I continue to cover Kaylee's ass, that's not going to be the best thing for the boat long term. It literally is. First of all, it's covering some of those asses. I do agree. She's not trying to be jealous or competitive or a bitch. She just is those things.

37:25Ben Mandelker: She's not trying. Her mom, just knowing exactly who her daughter is, is so great. And just like sitting there doing whatever she's doing, like typing. She's like, okay, well, you know, I saw a post. She says, stop trying to expect me and other people. Okay. Like she's got a whole calendar that she can flip through of bullshit to just tell her awful child, whatever she calls her, you know? Here's jealous Jen again. Jealous, jealous Jen. Yeah. Um, so, uh, then we go to the pantry and Asia is texting with Nathan. She's like, Hey, Nathan, wait, I'm worried about you. Let me know how you're doing. And he's like, my back is fucked.

38:10Ben Mandelker: Trying to do therapy. So I'm not out for too long. I'm like, you're done for the season. I hate to tell it to you. You're done for the season. If you've got a bulging disc, there's no way that three days of physical therapy is going to get you back there where you can just be hauling things whatever maybe you can be walking around and ordering people but like i think nathan is done he's toast yeah this is a pretty active job he's like well i just saw a nurse and she said don't give joe my job please it's doctor's orders doctor and nurse's orders both uh so then we go to coop and joe uh cleaning and joe's like look i'll fucking say it i'm glad nathan's gone for this charter yeah when he's good he's good but as soon as that tension's there it's like god none of us want to be there am i right dad i mean i want the best for him dude but you may not be my birth daddy but you are the best daddy i've ever had this week oh i miss my daddy um so then we go to the main salon and jen is like she just wants to sit and talk with asia so she's like oh hello what's going on she's like honestly i feel like there was like a lot of behind the scenes struggle just like a lot of things missed on service just like a lot of stupid stuff i mean have you ever seen two things put on a bread plate before i mean i i can't i can't i guess me mad just thinking about it it's just like why is there no appetizer plates when we're serving the caviar for the oysters i kind of gotten like a little bit of a mood last night because i felt like you know small plates for double appetizer like what do we do here am i right asia am i right if you don't agree with me i know you hate me and asia's face was just like oh you know she has that just cringe on her face or she's like oh god you would just make yourself look worse every episode and i know how this is gonna go for you in the public eye you know she's like oh well things aren't gonna go smooth inside anyway because we're too down we're just kind of in survival mode yeah well you have a noodle hanging from your mouth it's awkward and i think that like kaylee is like really struggling and i think we would all have been in tears if it was difficult guess i mean because she sucks oh wow Oh, she's really bad.

40:36I mean, is this how we're going to put our guests? We're putting our guests in danger, you know? Someone could have choked on caviar that had a breadcrumb on it. I mean, who does that?

40:48Ben Mandelker: When you don't have enough room around the caviar, you get flustered. And when you get flustered, you die. Do we want people dying on our yacht? I don't think so, Aisha. I don't think so. Fish gave up his eggs for this. You know what I mean? Well, it's hard because I know you've been a chief stew in your mind somewhere, but I really want to make sure that you're respecting the fact that Kaylee is bigger, stronger, cuter, sweeter, more amazing, and always going to have a first place ribbon around her neck. You understand that, right? I think that's all Jen hears. She's like, what? Like just her face of Aisha standing up for Kaylee.

41:31She's like, respect you, boss. All right, then. Okay. Run back to it, you little maniac, literally.

41:41Ben Mandelker: So, Jen, is like, when you're working for some of the richest people in the world, you learn what real service is. I was a service dude on the second, I'm sorry, on the largest sailing yacht in the world. I had to sign an NDA the size of the book Dune. Dune. Okay, pause for laughter as everyone recognizes that Dune universally is known as a very large book. Okay, and I know Aisha that has that high standard. So it confuses me why she would be so accepting of these little slip-ups. Okay, I was on a very important sailboat. Are you sure that someone just didn't give you the book Dune? She was like, I had to sign an NDA.

42:23Ben Mandelker: and it was all about the Harkonnens and spice. And let me tell you something, those worms, you can ride them, but you didn't hear it from me. That's all in the NDA. Let me tell you who didn't serve appetizer plates, the people in Dune. There was not one appetizer. No. You worked for the richest people in the world. Okay, but you're not. You're working for tattoo shop owners. and I mean, you know, that was just the latest of a long list of yokels that come on the show. You just had a fake dating show on here last week, okay? These are not, this is not a musk boat, okay? Everyone is going to survive.

43:04The last charter, they were asking for chicken tenders, okay? No one is going to freak out about not having a separate plate for the caviar. Just calm down. This is not the gotcha you think it is, babe.

43:16Ben Mandelker: Yeah, it's not. So Aisha's like, oh, thank you for your hard work, which is her way of being like, fuck off. And Aisha's basically like, look, Jen has been a really competent stew. She's good, but she doesn't realize that she has to be a team player. She has to connect with other people and with the guests. And you're not going to get ahead if you backstab. Up, leave. Don't backstab. So now Jen's pissed. She's walking through the cabins like, well, I hope that the next guests are really assholes. So the cracks will show. So you're the crack. You're the crack. Commercials. Here comes one right now.

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45:32It was on New Year's Day and booked an appointment in just minutes. It took so much of the stress out of the already stressful situation. ZocDoc makes it easy to search and compare over 250 ,000 local in-network providers across more than 200 specialties. So you can find the right doctor or dentist and book instantly. Taking care of your health just got easier. Download the ZocDoc app today and book that appointment on your to-do list. That's Z-O-C-D-O-C. ZocDoc. so then we go to um the crew cleaning cat finds jen crying and she's like are you okay what's wrong with you it's like oh my god i feel like asia doesn't even like me okay like i mean i miss the days when like the chief stew would yell at you and like scream at you if you fucking missed a spot on the placement if you broke a deor water glass jug or something

46:29Ben Mandelker: like that what what is jen jen is 22 what what is she sitting here saying i miss the days when she sees would yell you're you missed you you just had your senior prom what do you talk about you miss the days of like the of your it's like you're acting like you've been doing this since 1977. okay i just missed the days but even even crazier oh there's a full-on mosquito in here i'm gonna They killed this mosquito. Ah, I missed it. I love how she's just pining for toxic leadership. She's like, oh, I just want to be yelled at. I want to be yelled at. I want to be walking on eggshells. I want to be scared.

47:08Ben Mandelker: I want to be uneasy for eight weeks in a row. I want to be happy. I want to be break out into nervous sweats and have stress dreams. That's what you call service. Yeah, she's not getting her waist on. Aisha's a terrible chief stew. But, you know, if you had the chief stew that you wanted, they wouldn't have just stood by why you let somebody sleep in spermy sheets. You know what I mean? That would have been a huge no-no. Like you knew that somebody was sleeping in sperm and you just laughed about it and did nothing. You would have been fired if you had a chief stew like you're talking about. You just don't see how lucky you are, you dumb, dumb child.

47:45Ben Mandelker: Part of me wonders if she is basically saying like, yeah, I got yelled at, but I knew exactly where I stood with someone. I knew if I was doing well, if I knew if I was not doing well. And here she's like, I can't tell. Everyone's nice, but I can't tell people secretly hate me. And she's just trying to, like, guess what people think. And it's making her crazy. But, like, I think that's giving her a lot of credit. I think that she's mad because Asha's being so nice about it. She's uplifting Kaylee. So she's like, oh, yeah, Asha's a shit stew. And that's why every – or she's a shit chief or whatever.

48:17So that's why everything's going to hell. Because, you know, I miss the day when there were, you know, chief stews who actually care. And who actually, you know, are perfectionists, not like this sloppy ass noodle eater.

48:29Ben Mandelker: Yeah. Like yelling shows that you care. But I mean, you see this a lot of times in like Hollywood assistants, like when I was an assistant first to do exec, he would yell at me all day long and I couldn't deal with it. And I just finally, I finally quit. And then I had like, when I gave my two weeks notice, he stopped yelling at me because it was, what's the point of yelling at me? And then he was like, you've become such, you're like a much better assistant now as soon as you quit. I was like, because you stopped yelling at me. But like the people, there's like this weird thing where, you know, the assistant that will work well for that guy is someone who actually enjoys being yelled at in a weird way.

49:06Ben Mandelker: And then in turn will rise up and yell at the person below them. And like there is this abusive cycle that happens in Hollywood and quite frankly, probably in many other industries. And I think that like Jen is one of those people. It happened in the bowling alley. My aunt Josie would follow me around going, did you paint that ball? What do you call it? The holder of the balls. They look like library shells, but it's what all the balls are. You know, it lines up. The bowling rags or whatever. I had to paint those. And she just kept coming up behind me. I would hear her keys jingling on her pants.

49:39And then she'd be like, yeah, did it wrong. Do it again. Start from the beginning. Start from inch one. And she was like a hard ass like that. And I was always like, oh, my God, she hates me. But, you know, those racks had about 10 coats of paint by the time I was done. And then I saw her at Christmas or something. It's like, you did a great job, kid. And I never felt better. I was like, wow, I really earned that. I really earned it. Yeah, I made it to the bowling alley rack painting industry. And it was all because someone was on my ass. So thank you, Josie.

50:11Ben Mandelker: Well, some people love a boss that yells at them. And they, in turn, become those bosses. And Jen is one of them. She wants to be yelled at. she wants to be she she literally says it you know sometimes it could be problematic to be like oh she just wants to be yelled at she's just asking she literally was asking for it she's like i want to be yelled at and i can guarantee you if she had a chief stew on this season that was actually like that and yelling at her she'd be crying and saying she everyone hates me and then she wouldn't be able she doesn't want it i think she's just saying that asia sucks this is her way of saying asia sucks because if she really had somebody like this she would be crying her eyes out and trying to you know get that person fired just like she does with everybody else that she doesn't like you know yeah um and kat is just like yeah you've got to work on your attitude like she's like i'm so serious jen like you need to fix your attitude otherwise it's not going to end well you're going to get fired it's like how how much can i tell you like you need to stop acting like this um that's a good friend by the way it really is just honest with you like come on get it together and so cat says she supports jen a lot but we're working as a team you can't bring your past traumas into the workplace so now we go to um one of these things that we just saw in southern hospital where everybody eats dinner in the sky they go up on a big table that's lifted on a crane And then they're just hung there and everything they're served was already in that center little section, just kind of hidden behind a little bar, I would assume.

51:52Right. Or do they have little people flying over to give them?

51:55Ben Mandelker: No, I think they have all everything's like prepped back there. But, yeah, I don't want to go on one of these, not because I'm scared, but because I just feel like I just don't trust that the food is any good. And now I'm trapped up there and I am stuck with bad food. Like I'm sure it's like probably want to get up. I'm going to go to the bathroom. You know, what about that? I want to go talk shit about people while we vape outside. I'll just be stuck there. It's like, okay, there's a beautiful view. But guess what? I don't generally want to go to a restaurant that has a beautiful view because those also are sucky.

52:24Ben Mandelker: I'm not trying to eat at a restaurant at the top of a tower. I'm not trying to eat at the restaurant at the top of the CN Tower in Toronto. So everyone, just in case there's questions about that, if you're about to say, what about the restaurant at the CN Tower? No, I ate there in 1992. I had breakfast there. It was stupid. Okay. They're all tourist traps. Anything with a good view. If my restaurant rotates, I don't want to be in it. Okay. I want no windows. I want a view of white fluffy bread. Okay. Yeah. And pasta, like the food. That's what I want a view of. That's all I want to see is I want to be in a dark basement with little candlelight things and tweezers.

53:10okay that's what i want or i want to be in my house with all the curtains closed and a blanket over my head while i just shove dominoes down my throat like dominoes wrapping the breadsticks that you can also get from yeah that's how i like it that's the view i want don't like don't buckle me into a into a dinner that's suspended by a crane that that just it's just annoying to me i hate it yeah that's a lot so koopa's next to uh cat and cats you know being fine and she's like oh my god are you gonna get wasted tonight your eyes look and he's just kind of like no and he won't look at her just like smiling at everybody else and she's like um your eyes look really green tonight and he's like yeah well we're about to miss the sunset it's about to disappear everybody and she's like she just takes a swig of her wine they're like don't do that we're over the hump

54:06Ben Mandelker: okay like what yeah what was what does even that mean and she goes what'd you say i complimented you and he she's just like there's some weird energy you know and they just aren't looking at each other or talking it's like very very immature on his part and mean actually it's like very very mean and so um kaylee they're just all talking around the table and and joy is uh saying how Luke is texting her. And Kayla's like, I mean, you literally like him? I mean, do you say something with him? She's like, I don't know. He fucked someone else. He can run after me for a little while. We have to encourage when someone is coming back and apologizing and writing letters, you know?

54:49Ben Mandelker: He did all that? That's really nice. My God, that's Luke. And Jenna's like overhearing and she's like, what the fuck is wrong with them? After everything that luke did you're really gonna like text with him like and she's right by the way so um uh now they all get in the vans and asia is like so what did you and koopy whoopy talk about this is like her episode of doing that with all the names she's like nafie waifie koopy whoopy sandy wendy genuinely and cat's like it's awkward and she's like oh no i knew what's gonna happen it's a natural progression of men on a boat i'm so sorry it happened so quickly meanwhile joy and cooper talking in the other van and she asked him how's your love life he's like since the beginning i've been wanting to take this slow i said it she's like do not break your heart okay otherwise i I would break your face.

55:48Don't make somebody up. Do not make somebody up. Like, don't like bring somebody up and then be like, oh my God, look, you found love. And then start ignoring them and treating them like, wow, wow, why are you acting like a crazy person? What a little asshole. Yeah.

56:05Ben Mandelker: So now they go to Club Revelyn and they're dancing and drinking, having fun. And Cooper is just like dancing with some women. and Joe is like, oh, have you seen how handsome this man is? He's the naughtiest man in Croatia? And she's like, well, I'm the naughtiest woman in Sweden. And it's like, again, Joe is, Joe's a fucker. Because Nathan - Joe's the devil. He's like the devil in an 80s movie. He's like, oh, temptation. Come, dance with the girls. Don't you want to talk to some girls? yeah so he's talking so then he's like cooper's now dancing with with this the swedish lady and cat's like he's becoming a player i'm like not here for that like two weeks ago he was a southern gentleman and now he's like prince hansing me i'm like uh i think the i think the fallacy here is i think the southern gentleman like he still is the southern gentleman and that's and the problem is that your definition of southern gentleman is flawed because her definition of southern gentleman is a man who is polite and chivalrous and um you know puts the lady first and it's like unfortunately what we have learned is that the southern gentleman acts like that but behaves like this and that is the true definition of the southern gentleman that we've seen on bravo yeah for sure the brav uh so kaylee and joe were at the bar and joe pulls his normally his normal joe here he comes anybody who fell for this bullshit so joe's like well you know when i'm in this environment i want to go say hello to the to the ladies and she's like on the same he's like so i'm gonna go do a test i'm gonna go say hello she's like why are you testing me i don't need to be tested he's like well i'm gonna go say hello then and then he goes off he's like ladies and he goes to them and she's like whatever what an awkward stupid thing like first of all why are you saying this to her why why do you feel compelled to do this or just do it you know or just do it if the whole thing is you're you're you're you're just having fun no stakes attached just do it but like the whole thing of like i'm gonna test you or i'm gonna i'm gonna do a test it's like it's it is such an ick and i was proud of her being like why i don't need to be tested like get out of my face he's only happy if he's making somebody lose it yeah purposely does it every single time where it's like i'm this kind of guy i'm that kind of guy and then he i don't know who he's testing them or himself i don't know what he's testing for but he wants somebody to scream and cry over him and get emotional over him i think that's probably the only way he feels love poor joe but also what is this stupid thing of like when i'm in this environment i just want to say hello what the fuck is that about like oh to make her he's trying to get some reaction out of her it's too easy with her being like do whatever you want and i'm not gonna get jealous and he acts like he wants that but then he gets that and he's like oh my god does this person even like me like they're not even yeah he needs that reaction yeah he needs otherwise he would just go and say hello to people we've seen in the past he has no qualms about doing it the fact that he has to actually go over to her and announce it like hey look at me look at me i'm talking to other girls i'm flirting with other girls and she's like okay well also he was just dancing with girls and she didn't care so he's like oh so look now i'm gonna go now let me narrate to you that i'm fucking you over right in front of your face you know yeah will you be upset she's like whatever go ahead so uh kaylee is like um she's like where's this even coming from we were having kind of having our own fun i never really showed any signs of of me wanting more of our relationship I thought we were kind of friends first.

59:54Ben Mandelker: And that's not really how you treat a friend. Yeah. So he goes over to say hello to the randos and then Cooper comes back to the table and Cat just walks away from him. And she goes outside and calls her friend. She's like, oh, my God, this guy is playing this shit out of me. And the friend's like, oh, my God, don't cry. No. Yeah. I'm like, no. and you know i also felt bad because when um like i think this was when she's watching cooper dancing with the girls and everything and asia's like oh i'm sorry it's like you know when you hear you know when you're like you're paranoid about something like oh my god he hasn't texted me back i think he's like i think he's over me i think he's going to me and your friends say relax it's only been 12 hours you don't know like he could be busy there's a reason why he hasn't texted you back but when your friends say i'm sorry you're like oh you're not even giving me you're not even telling me to to like to like keep my chin up or to think positively you're actually agreeing you're like yeah it's bad because asia's like i'm sorry i was like oh man that sucks for cat like it's blatantly obvious to everyone that cooper is now moving on yeah because we just saw him acting like this before when she was getting upset at the last night out that they were at because he was talking to the people at the bar and then he she's like we're going outside to talk and then it starts raining and then everybody's out there watching them and cheering and the you know waiter brings over an umbrella and it's it's like okay we're on a movie set so then he's tried to play it up for the audience and be like we're okay everything's great over year and then he immediately starts acting like that again so yeah i think exactly saw all that and was like yeah this guy's clearly yeah she's like again it's just it's a below deck guy so it's a little deck guy and honestly you can tell that this girl cat is a real sweetheart uh because i think for the first time ever uh maybe on any bravo show she's in her confessional she's crying she's literally crying and she's like oh he played the like he played the shit out of me it's just i feel like shit we've seen this happen millions of times on millions of confessionals and for the first time ever we hear the producer say i'm sorry honey like an actual empathetic sympathetic moment from a producer i was like this is bad okay now i'm really mad at because obviously this girl is so sweet enough that the producers are are like feeling bad for her okay and they're not humiliating her they're just showing like look at this poor sweet girl like one of the sweetest girls we've ever had on this show and this guy who acts like he is a southern gentleman or whatever is just breaking her heart yeah so now jen you know even dummies can do good sometimes so she's with coop and she's like look she's my bestie on this boat and as much as she wants to be chill with everything she's not and she likes you and he's like well look at the end of the day you get daddy for daddy and i don't want cat to hurt okay i'll have that conversation with her tomorrow okay but she's upset right now so see this guy fuck this guy and he won't even really have that conversation by the way no um so uh yeah cat's just like really embarrassed that's ultimately what it is she's embarrassed she feels tricked and i think the thing is also like there was no nothing makes sense about it everything was fun and cute and nice and then all of a sudden just not anymore like and she has she has she has no idea why and and like it's really it's alarming and so um it's not the first time he's done this though and that's what's so frustrating because we know because we've been through it for years you know or we've had more experiences and stuff but like seeing someone so young just falling for this shit over and over again with someone like that because then he turns on the charm it's like last time he ignored her and then he turned on the charm and now he's doing it again and then he's going to turn on the charm again you just keep getting on the ride you know get off the ride yeah i um i think uh yeah it's uh he's a dick so i mean of the dicks we've encountered on this show he's a nicer dick but he's still a dick unfortunately and it's sad because I'll see you next time.

1:04:15Ben Mandelker: And it's hard to feel like maybe he wouldn't be like all the other below deck guys, but the odds were stacked against him. He's a below deck guy and he's from Charleston. There's just no way he's not going to be like this. So meanwhile, Kaylee basically tells Joe, yeah, guess what? You're not getting anything from me tonight because I didn't like what you said. So bye, which I liked that from her. I love this because she goes, are you okay? You seem disparate. And he goes, it was a test and you passed. And she's like, oh, yeah, go to sleep. You're not getting any tonight, buddy. I'm so surprised with Kaylee because she came on to the season being very, like, like very positive and like, oh, I just love, I love happiness.

1:04:54Ben Mandelker: I love being happy. I love being enthusiastic. and I thought she was going to be sort of like the type that would sort of fall into Joe's clutches and be like, oh, I just love him. I thought she'd be optimistic about building a relationship with him. She just rushes into relationships all happy, whatever. I was not expecting her to be very clinical, not clinical, but cut and dry about having hookups. I'm totally shocked and delightfully so. Yeah, I think she's great. And also just being like, okay, saying you can do whatever you want doesn't mean like go out of your way to be an asshole and hurt my feelings.

1:05:37Like that's just weird, you know? Yeah. Like if you're attracted to somebody else, be attracted to somebody else. Like you're purposely going out of your way to hurt me to get kicks. And then being like, oh, you passed. Fuck off. Yeah. I'm passing on this opportunity. Okay. Thank you very much. So Asha is texting Nathan again And he says he's happy to be with the baby And Sandy comes in And she's dressed like a pirate She comes to Asha's cabin And she's like, hey, it's me Captain Sandy Arrgh We're gonna do something wacky I'm gonna have you dressed like a pirate Because we're gonna tell everybody They're going on a pirate ship tomorrow And she's like

1:06:21Ben Mandelker: Oh, I love this Sandy one is great so then they go door to door dresses pirates waking everyone up and it's gonna be wacky big day so they go to this pirate ship and asia's like so cute koopy woopy how are you going he's like i'm good you know i'm coming back to life it was a great not though had a lot of fun you know it's a great time gotta have a conversation later it's like you should i feel like you're freaked out and pulled back. Don't do that. Just be communicative. He's like, got it. Keep it all bottled up in the inside and not really say anything about it. Okay, over and out. I just feel surprised how he's evolving.

1:07:06I thought he was this nice southern boy. And I don't know if it's because Joe's maybe rubbing off on him literally figuratively, or if this was just him all along, but he'd better make it right. Cat's wonderful. So Joe and Kayleigh are talking elsewhere, and he's like, Kayleigh, I made a mistake, didn't I, when I went up to you? And I said I'm going to go speak to other girls. Oh. And she's

1:07:32Ben Mandelker: like, you're going to get upset about that? Go ahead. She's like, well, you know, I didn't care that you did it, but I cared more as like a friend. Like, I felt like, maybe you don't need to do that in front of my face. Like, if I was making out with a guy, maybe that wouldn't be very nice to you. But to be honest, I can't be bothered to have fights. I think we should really just like pause plays. We're young. We're having fun. Let's just see what happens. Is she saying pause on the fight or pause on the hookups? I assumed hookups. Yeah, that's what I thought too. But yeah, now that I think about it, maybe she just meant like, yeah, I'm not going to fight with you.

1:08:07Because he's like, huh, we're going to have a talk. She's like, yeah, I can't be bothered to fight with you. Sorry. not important enough to fight with eyebrows okay yeah so then coop sits uh next to cat

1:08:20Ben Mandelker: and cat's like um how was your night and she's like it was good uh i had a good night too didn't seem like it well it was awkward well there were definitely some animosities coming towards me by the end of the night see like i hate that like you know the animosity started with you when you ignored her and you were being cold to her that's the animosity don't make it seemed like it was coming towards you like you're you're the victim here yeah i had something to get off my chest and then he just walks away and she's like uh don't didn't he say something here where he's like um yeah so we're just like so that's that or like let's do that was later or something oh that's the second version of the conversation oh okay so he just walks off and she's like uh jen comes over and sits with cat and jen's like was it good and she's like no what the fuck is happening like what the hell and so um so coop then he like he just goes over to joy and starts talking to joy um and and so then joy's like i don't know why you don't want to marry her she has everything and he's like yeah she's a good person yeah um so they they arrive at this beach club meanwhile they can't even get away from each other because they're on this tiny pirate boat.

1:09:38So they keep like switching to have conversations and everybody can just see each other on this pirate, you know, kind of hear each other on this pirate boat. This show.

1:09:46Ben Mandelker: Yeah. And so they're at the beach club. They're partying. Luke sends a video to Joy and he's like, salut, Joy. That's me working on my French. Hope you're having a wonderful day. Wonderful end of charter. Let me know how you are. I'd love to hear from you. Ciao. Oh, I apologize. Au revoir. French. hey showy old cheese to luke and they all give a big cheers to luke and jen's like i do not want to hear that name again like i want to have a good day please why are they talking about luke now cheese and joe's like well luke he's a good he's a nice guy regardless of what happened it's sad to see him leave but he's missed and she's like i actually thought this was disrespectful quite frankly jen is a monster but i've luke luke was was mean to her i'm sorry luke was a dick to her and luke was like the like she's absolutely right when she says in like two seconds you know like luke was the one who literally came on his boss's sheets and played two girls on the same boat why are we celebrating this guy and i 100 agree i think this was like obnoxious it makes her feel really uneasy they all know what he did to her and they're like oh but he's a good guy he's a good guy it's like oh boys will be boys i thought it was actually really obnoxious well unfortunately jen's not a nice person and everybody knows it so you know i don't think anybody's just not nice so i don't think that anybody's and also remember the night when it ended with luke and she was like i'm gonna have a talk over here and then she kept calling people she called like four different people to chat during the dinner and she's just i think she's just so much drama and she's so obnoxious and clearly acting like a narcissist you know asshole that nobody cares and look was nice and then luke did his shit and was like but i'm so sorry and then he gets puppy doll guys and all of that stuff jen's just never gonna to get the response she wants from people because she's not good to people yeah uh that's great luke was an asshole but but but she has no social capital on this boat so no one cares if she's unhappy you know and it was also it was also like oh she likes him well i'm not gonna have a love triangle so i'm gonna go interrupt them and get him for you know that whole thing was she was acting like an asshole in that triangle as well so i don't think anybody's gonna feel for jen yeah but i just still also think that like i think luke was a dipshit and i don't i maybe they must have really there must have been a side of luke that they all saw and they really enjoyed because the fact that joy is still texting with him they're all raising their glass to luke you know we did see in the first episode or two he has like a goofy side that was kind of funny and there must be something because i just feel like like why does luke get this like heroic edit you know i'm like edit not on the show but like amongst these people in their minds um i'm like it just feels it feels weird it feels privileged i don't know i don't it's heroic i think it's just that he keeps calling you know like he's still around and he keeps calling usually they're just gone you know how below deck people are it's like once you're on there they're like a brotherhood or a sisterhood or whatever a fraternity yeah you know what i'm trying to say so maybe it's just that because he's always calling he's still there i know seriously so he also apologizes and stuff which jen doesn't really do well but it's all it's all insincere it's all bullshit yeah exactly yeah but it's like you're you've got one asshole who is like really apologetic and really performative like I'm a good person and then you just have an asshole who's an asshole so yeah when making an effort's gonna win you know Coop is like he asked Aisha if he should check on Jen and she's like that's probably a good idea which is also shows that Aisha does not like Jen because Aisha does not go after her so uh Jen's like I ask everyone respectfully for my own mental health let's not talk about Luke and he's somehow like he's somehow screwed Joy over I don't know why the fuck she's still talking to him it's like yeah i'm sorry you feel like that anytime you need anything i'm a southern gentleman again she's like thank you i really appreciate that yeah jen's definitely a little harsh but at the end of the day you get daddy for daddy and i feel like we're all a team so i do want to be there to support her just as i want there to be support for everyone's except for cat she has too much too much pressure to support her so we can have just one big happy family yeah um so then joe asked kaylee um about her and jen and she he's like is jen still mad at you and she's like oh yeah you know i'm realizing how immature she is i wasn't coming for a second i mean she was obviously and i think this all just stems from that i mean she wants more you know just didn't work out and she's like upset and jen's just kind of there lingering around them she like walks up and kaylee doesn't stop talking she finishes her sentence and it's just like yeah kaylee's like fuck this bitch um so now asia is like cooper i think that you should get your convo wander over with cat okay he's like yeah okay i can handle it doesn't need to be an operation i'll get it done um meanwhile over on the yacht Sandy gets it.

1:15:19Ben Mandelker: She's like, oh, I got a text from non-norma. Maybe she was really weirded out after our last conversation when I started. I inhabited her body and then just she wound up texting herself. That was so weird when that happened. But look, it's from a bravo deckhand, a bravado deckhand saying, Captain, I can come. Whoa, finally, yes. Got a deckhand. Somersault, somersault, eggplant, eggplant, somersault. God, I wonder who this could be. so she makes a call to the mystery man and she's like thank god i don't think anybody has ever said that when they found out that max has been put on their stuff i think this is the first time so congrats to him no i'm so upset that they're bringing max back for a third time like i cannot stand this guy i don't i just don't i personally don't think he's good tv i think he's just annoying you know it's not like ellie who they bring back and she is she could be like an absolute monster but she's just like deeply entertaining max is just annoying he's like an annoying man child like a 13 year old child bouncing off the walls who needs to be put into a shock collar so everyone is changing for dinner and but they and the point is that they bring him back to trigger nathan but nathan's not there so i mean i guess i see what they're doing they're like let's see if we can make joe just as crazy it's like be careful what you wish for kind of thing like okay now Now you're in charge, but you've got Max.

1:16:48Ben Mandelker: So Coop is like, okay, time to have this conversation with Kat. We're going to get on the same wavelength, and I'm going to let her know how I feel. He goes, so should we go ahead and just do this? Which is a great way to start a sensitive conversation. And she's like, I'm right here. She's like, yeah, why not? Hey, let's just be friends and vibe, and that's all that needs to be said, right? Let's just have a great freaking time. okay let's just be besties okay great see you later oh my gosh and everyone's showing up as he says that and she's like oh she's telling us is that a breakup and the producer asked cooper so are you feeling like you're on the same page now and he's like yeah we're pretty much on the same page without the page being announced but i feel like it doesn't need to be talked about we're good let's just move on oh great um she's like what was that that was awful so now they go to dinner yeah and uh coop is he's tired and kaylee's like you're being honest and good to my girl right he's like 100 i said i'm out of 5 000 right huh and cat then cat and jen are on the other end of the table and cat's like do you want to know what our chat was he goes let's have our chat so we're good yeah and we're like so don like i'm never lowering my standards because i think i'm valuable i wish kat had remembered that she had said this by the end of the episode i know i wish she stuck with that so uh it's just like okay this energy is really weird tonight much awkward energy so then she gets a maraca and then things are never the same isn't this where she gets her little maraca thing yeah she starts shaking this maraca and she shakes it for the rest of the episode and it is so annoying.

1:18:35Ben Mandelker: I like, she's really just shaking it nonstop. She's just in bed alone. Just shaking. It's like a fidget spinner for her. It's she woke up. It's the max of props. Like put it down, put it down. Why did she, who gave that to her? Uh, um, she's like, well, it's been a long day. And the only thing that's been able to break the tension is the baracka as you just start shaking it like crazy on screen. I was like, okay, please don't make this a running gag for episodes. So then we go back to the crew cabins and Aisha is still with the maraca and cat text Coop. And she's like, I'm not ending the day like this.

1:19:15He goes, okay, meet on the bio bosons locker. So now they go hide in that little locker. They shouldn't be allowed to do this. You guys are on a TV show. What the hell are you hiding? Like people do that to have sex, not to have this conversation.

1:19:29Ben Mandelker: but i know that's the thing too it's like this is this does not have to be a hidden hidden from production conversation like this you guys are literally acting like you're doing something illicit right now and so uh he's like i don't really like talking about my emotions but she does so i'm here for that if she needs it but since there is some tension that i think it's best we just part wise so then she's like what's been up with you like what the fuck's been up with you lately and he is like like you know all everyone wants to talk about is you and i and i feel like it's just a little eyes on us it's just like well how do you think i feel okay and now i just feel stupid like i did something wrong and then he pulls out the typical thing and we already saw luke do it this season where he was like do not tell a single soul that this that we're hooking up it's the big secret so he's like well i do like you but hey look i've got an idea what if we kept doing what we wanted to do but told the rest of the crew we weren't hanging out anymore because then we could have fun and sneak around just like sneak snooches oh yeah so you can make her look fucking crazy the next time you go out and make out with somebody which you will and then she gets all upset and be like see i told you guys she was crazy we're not even together yeah this seems like a great plan what could possibly go wrong because she's like okay that's kind of fun like it's like cool like we're like sneaking around like that's actually kind of cool it's like no until you're gonna decide you don't want to sneak around anymore and you'll be like why can't i if i like someone if he likes me and i like him why can't we hold hands in public you know or kiss when we're out at for dinner like this is a situation tactic so he can get what he wants from you and then also get what he wants from anybody else and then make you look fucking insane god damn it and he says he's like well what i hang around her she's you know she's beautiful and she's got a great smile and just she just pulls me back in sometimes i feel like i probably shouldn't but there is still attraction and it continues to happen which is uh his quote unquote southern gentleman way of saying i'm not really into her but she's hot so i still want to um have the option to bang her if i can a hundred percent don't ever ever ever be with someone who tells you we should keep this a secret never it is never worked out it's bad it's terrible um so now it's that's a new day and um uh kaylee is uh kaylee's decided that she's gonna have a talk with jen uh because she needs to she knows that jen doesn't like her she doesn't even like jen that much but she needs to sort of get that under control so she's gonna that's her plan for the day and then uh coop and cat are are talking over breakfast and they're they're all of a sudden being very chummy again but it's secret and cat's like day one of the secret relationship with cooper is very heated rivalry like no did you watch it is just as boring it is just as boring that's for sure yeah but the thing is it it you know it's heated rivalry coded but it's the closeted relationship that the guy has with the movie star you know when he starts dating the starlet or whatever and she's finally like yeah exactly you're not the main couple you're the you're the one that's kind of being fucked over here yeah the difference between this and heated rivalry is that in heated rivalry um both people like each other and that's not what's happening here um so sandy's like okay everyone preference sheet meeting okay bunny is an economist i don't know why that was like the funny bunny is an economist uh not what i was expecting the first description of bunny to be bunny is an economist an entrepreneur and a visionary launching their new venture econ club to celebrate they're taking their closest friends jace jordan Judah, Jacoia and Jacoia's twin, Sequoia.

1:23:33Ben Mandelker: Oh, and Tiara, but they don't talk to Tiara because Tiara doesn't start with a J. And they barely even talk to Sequoia. They only talk to Sequoia because they think it's Jacoia. Really, only J's allowed and Bunny. So anyway, they're here to honor their success. Bunny demands the best from gluten-free nighttime snacks to vegan cuisine. Oh, Jesus Christ. Here we go. They've had it too easy. I think they're like, okay everybody it's been pretty easy so far so here you go gluten-free and vegan and everyone else is just as picky and fabulous oh no i've heard that i'm gonna say right now none of them will be fabulous so uh sandy's like oh and joe guess what i'm gonna have you as bosa whoa is that Is that a pencil in your pocket?

1:24:25Ben Mandelker: Are you just happy to see some stripes? Whoa, here you go, Joey boy. He's like, oh, yes. But I'm erect. We know. You're always erect. It's the best thing about you. Captain Sandy's support means the world to me. I don't know how long I've got to prove my worth, so I'm going to take advantage of every minute. I'm going to hit the ground running like a splinter. That's what you get with Joe as bosun. I'm the fucking Jocelyn, baby. Okay. So Kaylee pulls Jen for a chat. And she's like, you know, I just wanted to have a little chat with you before we go on the next charter. You're just so good at your job, Jen.

1:25:09Good at your job, Jen. That's your nickname right here. Job, Jen. Jen job. You're just so good at it. You care so much. And I'm sorry if I ever made you think that I thought otherwise because it's just not the case. It's like, yeah, like, I just think, like, a lot of things were not going correctly, and, like, a lot of communication, which is down the drain.

1:25:33Ben Mandelker: Well, coming into this next charter, I want you to know that I do have your back, but I will make mistakes, and I've made mistakes. She's like, oh, yeah, it's called appetizer plate. Where were they? I mean, oyster and caviar on a bread plate. I mean, bitch, please. Yeah, so anyway, so I just, you know, I make mistakes, that's just what happens, and this is my nice way of saying, don't fucking come for me, bitch, because I'm the one in charge. Okay! She really handled this so well, because when she was kind of smart with her, she's like, yeah. She's like, yeah. I made so many mistakes, yeah, isn't it funny?

1:26:16And it just kind of disarms Jen, you know? She doesn't really know what to do. So she's like, well, I mean, I'm glad she took the initiative to talk to me, but I still don't think she knows what she's doing. So I'm just going to stay in my lane for my charter. I'm not going to say if she was on fire, I would watch her burn, but I definitely wouldn't use my strongest toes.

1:26:39Ben Mandelker: It was like, yeah,

1:26:43Ben Mandelker: famously, that's what Paul says to his mom. We all know that when you sign there, do an NDA. So Kaylee's like, we're going to kill this next child of Raw? She's like, yeah, we got it. So Sandy's like, okay, I have good news. I have good news. I have a deckhand starting today, Aisha and Joe, and he has experience. And both of you know him. You can watch the Odyssey with him, but you have to take off the eye. It's Max. It's Max. Oh, and everyone starts cheering. Has nobody watched his show? What are you cheering about? And Joe's like, oh, the man is absolutely off his nut. I mean, he's batshit crazy.

1:27:24I've seen him drive Nathan off the wall. I'd be lying if I didn't say I was a little bit nervous, but I've got it covered.

1:27:32Ben Mandelker: Yeah, and so Max is like, hello, I'm back. So annoying. But then the previews for next week, we see that Nathan texts Max and is like, have my back no matter what. And I'll make you lead deckhand, which I think is so fucking toxic. like nathan is actually really falling off this year you know he's really bad he's really gone off the deep end this year and i get like he has a new baby blah blah blah i get it he's just he's been a fucking asshole this whole year and to see that he's this immature it's great it's basically a wonderful parallel with house the dragon uh which we will be recapping next but uh you see power corrupts power corrupts paranoia ego it all comes in gotta watch out yeah all right well everybody thank you so much for being with us we will talk to you next time for the leading backs joining below take me there talk to you next time bye bye bye watch what crappens would like to thank its premium sponsors ain't no thing like alison king our way is the amber way it's the foster and the furious it's amanda foster it's always automatic with ashley auto put your hands together for carly clap get on the right foot with chrissy offutt we never miss her call it's diane call big yay it's emily gotier aaron mcnicholas she don't miss no trickless holla nagila weber you'll never hide from heidi eleanor jones it's no bs we love hugo es jamie she has no last naming.

1:29:10Sips some scotch with Jessica Trotch. She's our paliger, it's Karen Gallagher.

1:29:15Ben Mandelker: She's our favorite streamer, Caroline Peacock. Kristen the Piston Anderson. Let's give a kisserino to Lisa Lino. Fresh as a daisy, it's Maisie McHenry. Come again? We're obsessed with Margaret O 'Halloran. Megan Berg, you can't have a burger without the berg. This is Livin' with Michelle Vivian. I love a ya, Olivia Williamson. She's the lady of the house It's Rachel Sherouse. She sure is swell. It's Raquel. Yes, we canna. It's Sadana. Cast a spell with Shannon Spellman. Let's share with Sharon Eldridge. Darn Skippy, it's Tippi. And our super premium sponsors. She's VVIP. It's Amanda V. Somebody get us 10 cc's of Betsy MD.

1:29:59We're taking the gold with Brenda Silva. Let's get real with Caitlin O 'Neill. Put us on a stretcher. It's Charlotte Fletcher. Don't get salty with Christine Pepper Can't have a meal without the Emily Sides

1:30:12Ben Mandelker: Who, what, why, where and Gwen Pentland Nobody holds a candle to Jamie Kendall We got our wish, it's Jen Plish My favorite Murdo, Karen McMurdo Let's get savage with Laura Wildman In the study with a candlestick, it's Leslie Peacock We're ride or die for Lisa Ryder Barron She's a whiz, it's Liz Sarthy Always killing it, it's Lola Alkalani Roger that, it's Marlis Rogers. The incredible edible Matthews sisters. She eases our woes, it's Melissa St. Rose. There's a chance of meatballs, it's Rebecca Cloud. She's our princess, it's Rebecca Prince. She's the Queen Bee, it's Sarah Lemke. We cannot tell a lie, it's Sarah Tell of Sun.

1:30:54Ben Mandelker: Shannon, out of a cannon, Anthony. Please don't stop, it's Soli and Pop. Let's take off with Tam LaPlane. Strike a pose, it's Tori Rose. She ain't no shrinking Violet Kuchar. We love you guys.

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1:32:16This episode is sponsored by McDonald's.

1:32:18Ben Mandelker: I'm having my hot Caesar summer, Ronnie. Yes. Caesar sauce? I feel like we don't talk about Caesar sauce enough because it's so, so good. I love to dip everything into it. Have you ever dipped fries in Caesar sauce before? I mean, I just have. It is delicious. Caesar sauce is like a Parmesan, garlicky blend with some lemon in it. And you can dip anything in there. One thing I have been known to do is to stop over at McDonald's and go to the drive-thru and get myself a Caesar snack wrap and just dip some fries in the Caesar sauce. Also, the crispy strips in the Caesar sauce. Honestly, try it. It's really good.

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1:33:00Ben Mandelker: I think I just want to have just a constant supply of Caesar sauce and put it on things at all times. Yeah, I'm a straight up French fry and Caesar sauce kind of a boy. That's what I love. And that's how I'm going to go down. Right now at participating McD's, the$2.99 Caesar snack wrap is making me rethink my go-to order. Caesar sauce at participating McDonald's for a limited time. Prices and participation may vary. Hey, it's Paige from Giggly Squad. You know when you finally get started on a project around the house and then five minutes in you realize you're missing one thing? Somehow it's always that one thing that sends you back to the store.

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