#3496 McBee Dynasty S03E09: No Land for Old Babies

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1:52Ben Mandelker: Hello and welcome to Watch What Crap Ends, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo. We just love to watch and also the McBee Dynasty, which is what is today. I'm Ben Mandelker and joining me, as usual, is the wonderful and hilarious Ronnie Karam. Ronnie, how are you? Good. How's it going? Everything's going well. Well, I feel like something that we have not really mentioned lately, but we should, is that both of us are going to be in conversation with other people next week or so. Because you are going on a boat ride of sorts, right, with Hannah and...

2:34Ronnie Karam: Yeah, I'm doing a dinner cruise with Hannah and Daisy from Below Deck in San Francisco on August 23rd with City Cruises. And you can get information on that and link in bio at either Daisy or Hannah's Instagram. And that's fun. It's selling really well. It should be a really fun night. I've done one with Sheena and Zach and Hannah. And that one was in San Diego. It was so much fun. Everybody just comes and has dinners and drinks. And then we do a little panel and party with people. Yeah, it sounds like a great time. So if you're in the Bay Area, definitely go check that out.

3:13Ben Mandelker: If you're in the Bay Area or back down. And if you are back down, if you're in the LA area, that very same night, I too, I too shall be in conversation with someone. I will be in conversation with Martin Sorge, who won one of the great American baking show seasons. and I've been invited to have a conversation with him courtesy of Now Serving, which is a local and wonderful cookbook shop here in LA. And so it's going to be Sunday, August 23rd at 5 p.m. at Friends and Family in East Hollywood, which is a great, great bakery, coffee shop, et cetera. They just do such good things. So come join us.

3:57Ben Mandelker: I think it'll be really fun. He has a new cookbook out called Great Bakes. This is not a commercial. This is just making sure people are there. So definitely go check that out to find links to that event. I should put it up on my IG. I'll have it up later. But in the meantime, you just literally search for Martin Sorge now serving Ben Mandel. Look at look for now serving the cookbook shop and then they'll have their events calendar on their website. But come join. We're going to talk about baking and that's super fun. How are we doing?

4:28Ronnie Karam: We're doing that the same night.

4:30Ben Mandelker: Yeah, isn't that funny how that worked out?

4:31Ronnie Karam: same exact night so yeah um well that's gonna be a good time so we'll see you in both of those respective places okay today is mcbee dynasty almost the season finale we're almost there you know i say on a lot of shows on bravo that we cover we don't need this long of a season this isn't even that long it's only episode nine it's time to end it when your whole episode is about taking a fucking pregnancy test. Nobody is shocked that you're pregnant again. Okay? Let alone you. Why are you acting shocked? Nobody in the world is shocked that you're pregnant again. Congratulations. Do it over there.

5:12Ronnie Karam: I don't, it doesn't need to be half an episode. You just had a baby. You're getting pregnant. Is somebody going to get married? Is somebody else going to get married? Is somebody else going to get married? You all need to get some hobbies. There are just other things in life.

5:26Ben Mandelker: I don't even want to know what their hobbies would be. We already got a glimpse into it, which is inseminating cows. But they almost timed this perfectly because they had their baby on Friday, this past Friday. Their baby's name is Tate. So they got Tate and Blair. They're like, we don't want extra syllables. This is going to be one of the, well, they have a one syllable other baby too. Blair. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Like, what is Blair short for? blairzabeth blairella blair underwood don't you dare now that's a great blair blair underwood oh

6:05Ronnie Karam: the best well this is pretty cute too you know juries have cute kids and stuff it's just like i don't know it's like do i need a notification every time another cookie comes out of the take cookie factory no they're popping out cookies all the time it's not news like we know whenever when she said i might be pregnant i said you are what else is going on who is galena gonna beat up today

6:28Ben Mandelker: that's all i care about okay the show is just dreadful let's be honest it's dreadful it's a terrible terrible boring show and you could have made an argument you could have made an argument last year like no ben like that's hilarious like galena galena's attacking chickens look and Glita did this and look at what Masha did. And oh my God, look, Glita drove off the side of the road. Like you could make an argument that there's some actually like fabulous, campy things that I'm just being too close-minded to appreciate. But you, honestly, you cannot tell me something's happening on this season. Do you realize this entire season has been about packaging beef fat and now it's about harvesting tiny cows?

7:13Ben Mandelker: Like in some ways I would like that, but this show, it's just a show about stale air and I'm done with it.

7:22Ronnie Karam: Yeah. Well, and now tiny cows, like you said, little tiny puppy mill. They're going to have like a McBee puppy mill, but with tiny little fluffy cows. And I don't trust them. Who trusts them? Don't we have enough problems with like puppy mills and illegal breeding and stuff like that without the McBees getting into it? Do you really want a baby fluffy cow? It's probably going to have a limp and then it's going to get repossessed. You all know it is. Stop it. If you guys are even on this website looking at these stupid tiny cows, stop it. Because they're probably breeding them for hunting anyway.

7:56Ronnie Karam: They're going to be like, buy these tiny cows and then make them run. That's what they do. Just get drunk and run after them with guns and shit. I don't trust this family.

8:04Ben Mandelker: These idiots, they'll probably accidentally swap Tate and the cow at birth. and then Casey and Cole are going to raise a little Highland cow. And they're like, well, you know, Tate's just a little hairy, but we love her anyway. And it's like, it's a cow. You swapped your baby at birth. Don't you realize?

8:23Ronnie Karam: They'll just never know. The baby comes out. They've just put a tallow sticker on its head and put it on the conveyor belt. They've got a bottle in a baby cow's mouth.

8:33Ben Mandelker: We're concerned because Tate hasn't talked yet because it's a cow. You have a cow. There's a baby in the corner.

8:40Ronnie Karam: It would have as much charisma and energy as half of this cast, at least. It is shocking that they put some of these people on TV. It's literally Casey, like, staring kind of zoned out at the camera, like, Well, uh-oh, I might have a secret. I might be having another baby. Are the cameramen even there? Someone needs to snap their fingers in front of her face or get a clacker or something, you know? Like, scene, clack. we're on

9:10Ben Mandelker: just a wooden spoon just to make sure she's awake in there hello

9:17Ronnie Karam: I wonder how many hours they have of just Casey staring at a screen while we hear how many times has Casey

9:27Ben Mandelker: poured fish food on her computer in order to feed her screensaver I mean like

9:35Ronnie Karam: how many times has Cole tried to like spear one of the fish you know on the screen we're eating good tonight

9:47Ben Mandelker: can we probably bring those screensavers back as much as i love an abstract like swirly thing i miss the days of a of a fish i want us i want a fish screensaver and i want flying toasters again okay and if you don't know if you don't understand the reference that means you're very young But for those of us in the 90s. Flying Toasters was really classic.

10:07Ronnie Karam: Flying Toasters was great. Yeah. But don't we still have fish? I want to look now at screensavers, but I'm afraid of lifting my computer out while we're doing this. But I feel like there are fish. The Apple, you know, I use an Apple computer. And so the stupid choice is they're like, we have a 90 ,000 gigabyte picture and it's gorgeous. And we took it in the middle of India at exactly 5.01 a.m. at the perfect. And it's gorgeous and everything. But I really, yeah, I would rather a fish swimming around.

10:41Ben Mandelker: Yeah, I'm looking right now. My options are I've got landscape. So I can look. Right now I have Tahoe Day. And it's basically, it is like just the default. And it's, well, I can't tell. Because you know what they do now is they now have your wallpaper become your screensaver. because your wallpaper is just like a landscape that suddenly moves. And then when it goes into screen server mode, it just becomes that fully. And so there's like Sequoia Sunrise or Goa Beaches. That's the India one for you. Tea Gardens from above. California's Tumblr Range. Redwoods from above. Grand Canyon River Valley.

11:17Ben Mandelker: Look, Los Angeles Overpass. Where the fuck are the fish? I want fish and I don't want real fish. Okay, they actually do have, there's a dolphin pod. There's jellies. That's fine. cartoon fish. I want it to look like a fish tank. I don't want to have video footage of scuba divers.

11:35Ronnie Karam: The important thing is to have goals. In the case of this family, they do. We are going to save this family with miniature fluffy cows. I've been working on it for years. I've been working on it for years. I came up with this idea years ago, and we're going to do it. We're going to save this farm. Every week, you're going to save the farm with some new bullshit thing. And now you're not only bringing other live things into it. I don't know why it disgusts me. I mean, it's a farm. Of course, I have cows and stuff. I get it. But dabbling in the miniatures and then saying we're going to inseminate all our other cows with these embryos.

12:11Ronnie Karam: I don't know. There should be some choice in this. And I know cows can't talk. But at some point, they need to unionize or something because this is bullshit.

12:21Ben Mandelker: at this point i can't tell if we're talking about cattle insemination or bravo programming because honestly we need some better choices we need to we need to have a say in this take this show off the air um i think that like uh i think what's frustrating is that we have to sit through like another season of them complaining that like daddy's farm's gonna go away we're gonna lose daddy's farm what's gonna happen with that we're gonna have to lose the car I see we lost HQ. We can't have any more Christmas dinners every single week anymore over an HQ anymore. This was daddy's dream to have an HQ.

12:54Ben Mandelker: It's like, oh no, the farm, the farm is dying. Oh no. And it's like, okay, here's what we're going to do. We're going to sell miniature cows and that's going to save our massive multimillion dollar enterprise that we have going here. It's like, why are you wasting our time with this? Why? The cows are cute, but also like, I think, You're sort of suggesting there's a lot of cruelty on display, like inseminating cows, doing embryo transfers. No, the cruelty is that these little baby cows are going to have to sit there and get their hair blown out by Allie and Casey. That's just not right.

13:30Ronnie Karam: Well, that's part of it too. But I mean, you're putting all these cows you didn't ask for. You're just inseminating them with these toys that you want to sell. Start inseminating yourselves. You guys carry them if it's so fucking important to you.

13:43Ben Mandelker: Can you inseminate yourselves with brain cells? Is that possible? That would help. Let's get into it. I could use some, that's for sure. I know. Mine are gone. Between the lead plate and this show, I've lost a lot of brain cells.

13:58Ronnie Karam: McVie Dynasty, Season 3, Episode 9, Banks, Babies, and Bad Blood. So we've started Jesse and Ali's big city home.

14:08Ben Mandelker: Wait, did you hear that? There's the sound of the subway going by. Okay, continue. he's just here it's like a Jetsons car I don't know what it is like Kansas City is a legitimate city I'm not saying it's not there's just something about the way they keep saying I'm going to the city house that like you just would think that it's like the opening credits of the nanny or something like that like it's just like another generic house it looks just the same as

14:37Ronnie Karam: the house that's up at the farm well you know i mean it started because she was working in a bridal shop in flushing queens and then her boyfriend kicked her out one of those crushing scenes what was she to do what was she to say out on her fanny over the plush in queens from flushing to the sheffield's door

15:03Ben Mandelker: I don't remember that whole thing. It's a shame they never did a nanny, Mr. Belvedere crossover. You know, Flushing Queens is also how one would describe how Cole treated people in high school. Because, you know, he was taking some gay kids and putting their heads in toilets.

15:24Ronnie Karam: So Jesse and Allie's big city home. Casey Teagan and Allie talking about their Vegas trip. They're like, wow, remember the shotgun wedding? I was like, that could be a literal term on this show. I know. I'm ready to shotgun. I finally pulled the trigger.

15:43Ben Mandelker: It's literally like they actually will walk two shotguns down an aisle and marry them together. Well, I always knew this shotgun. The first time this shotgun met that shotgun, I knew they would always be together forever.

15:54Ronnie Karam: we inseminated this tiny shotgun we inseminated this big mama's shotgun with a tiny shotgun now we're gonna breed shotguns now here's what we're gonna do we're gonna grade up this shotgun put in a jar and call it shotgun tallow okay go sell it um now they haven't talked to christy much what is christy gonna think when she finds out you had a surprise wedding it didn't invite christy What is going to happen? Who's going to tell Christy? And Casey's like, uh-uh, I'm not telling her nothing. I told my parents already. He's going to have to do that with his own mom. Okay, but she's your mom now, too.

16:35Ben Mandelker: Yeah, she's your mom. Please don't make this the thing we have to wait all episode for. So then Christy comes over. She comes over, and they've arranged this zoo enclosure for summer, which I was impressed by, actually. I'm not going to make fun of it. I was impressed. They had like a giant set of fences that somehow like enclosed like an ottoman and a coffee table and Ali herself and Summer. They were just in this enormous pen.

17:01Ronnie Karam: That's what happens when you live in a barn. They live in a literal barn. They're used to it. You know, like a barn dominium type thing. A barn dimension. What do you call that thing? It's huge. But yeah, it's like a city block enclosed so the baby can't just crawl off to the meat grinder or wherever, you know.

17:16Ben Mandelker: Well, don't forget they were in the big city. So they had to make sure it didn't crawl off and get mugged. So public education.

17:30Ben Mandelker: We don't want that baby to escape and wander into an old bomb pen.

17:35Ronnie Karam: God forbid that baby escape and hit up a library or something.

17:41Ben Mandelker: Don't fall into a manhole. So life in the big city.

17:51Ronnie Karam: but we'll be in kansas city soon enough i'm sure um so they are nervous about christy and guess who's here hi guys it's me christy um with a latte taller than anyone in the room she's just like it has a joystick and you put quarters into the latte and you play pac-man

18:16Ben Mandelker: it's enormous so she comes in and she's like hi girls how's everything going she's like so like how's your trip was it fun and then we see a montage of all the debauchery and then we just now we see three days earlier Jessie just being a bad drunk on their first night and Ali sending her race that whole thing that whole thing with their 10 days of intimacy and Ali's like

18:44Ronnie Karam: I think we had a good time. The first time in a bed without a baby between us. You can imagine what would happen. We both had on three-piece suits and turtlenecks. It was really, really sexy. It's like, well, have the best for a party, y 'all. And Casey's like, I just don't know what to say because that's Cole's mom. I just don't know what I'm going to tell her. And so she just kind of stares off into space and shiftily looks around the room. And then everybody just stays really quiet. I mean, you don't have to make Christy feel like shit. Christy's like, did I fart? Why is everybody treating me like this?

19:21Ronnie Karam: Do I have something on my face? Did somebody tell you guys I might be voting Democrat? Why is everybody looking at me like this?

19:29Ben Mandelker: She is one of the most passive people on Bravo. You just see this as someone who just wants to know things or be informed about things. But I think she always is like, well, my feelings don't matter as long as the children are happy, which I guess you could say that's a good parent. But like, I just feel like she's just, you know, a boys will be boys kind of mom. And these are not boys per se. But like, they're clearly hiding something from her. And she's like, okay, well, I guess they don't want to tell me something as usual.

20:04Ronnie Karam: Not in my family. This just would never fly in my family. It's like, what aren't you saying? I just took care of your fucking baby For how long? And you're not going to tell me Go ahead, tell me what you're saying Okay, hand me that knife Hand me that baby I will kill this baby Tell me, tell me right now

20:23Ben Mandelker: Yeah, exactly So Chrissy's like Well, Grandma needs to get going I'm glad you guys had fun in Vegas I feel like there's probably a lot left out But I'm good with that Okay, glad I drove all the way down from the farm To come here and for you guys to not tell me anything. That was really fun. Okay, enjoy the 64 gallons of latte I brought you. Bye.

20:46Ronnie Karam: Yeah, no kidding. Enjoy all the food and all the support I give you while you just sit there and not talk to me. Thanks. And Tegan's like, I was scared someone was going to slip about the wedding. Oh, no. It's time for a commercial. It's time for a Crappens commercial. This episode is supported by FX's The Shards. a seductive drama from executive producer Ryan Murphy.

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23:33Ronnie Karam: Two to 300 jobs. Just think about that. Just think about that. Would you rather be doing trees or would you rather be doing cows? Yep.

23:44Ben Mandelker: He's on to something. So America, if you're looking to have a small cow roaming around your house, Stephen just reached out to Stephen McBee. He is the visionary who sees the next animal trend in America.

23:59Ronnie Karam: Yeah. He's really big into trends like the beef tallow, the miniature cows. He was really late. They could have had McBee dynasty like fidget spinners. Yeah.

24:12Ben Mandelker: Well, maybe next season he'll start breeding strange-shaped raccoons. He's like, you thought Jimothy was cute. Wait to see the McBee Jimothys.

24:18Ronnie Karam: Here's what we're going to do. We're going to take the legs and the arms and the head of a raccoon and cut out the middle part and just start breeding that. Okay? We're going to breed them inside of Cole. Cole is going to carry them to term. We are going to make 18 ,000 more times than we would make in gardening projects.

24:39Ben Mandelker: I'm going to Cowboy Christmas and I'm bringing raccoon tallow. We're going to set it aflame.

24:46Ronnie Karam: There's a new market. It is raccoon tallow from miniature highlands. Because miniature highlands can get dry in the face. You have never seen a more gorgeous miniature highland than when it has raccoon tallow on his face.

25:00Ben Mandelker: So, yeah, Stephen Jr. and Jesse are going to get some mini highland cows from a local breeder. Because they're the cutest things you'd ever see. and they are, in fact, very cute, and we just see them feeding them, and they keep poking their head through the gates, which I'm like, enjoy that in your house, a head that's trying to poke at things all the time, a big cow head. Because, by the way, a small, a miniature cow is still very big, I have to say. So he tells us,

25:30Ronnie Karam: It's still a cow. It smells. It's a cow. They poop. You know, do you potty train a cow? I mean, I had a pig, as I've told you, And those are potty trainable very quickly. They're really smart. Are cows the same? Do you have the cow in your house? Does the cow just get up on your couch? Do I want one of these cows? Of course I do. Like I'm sitting here bitching about the injustice of even breeding these things in the first place. But of course, the second I saw one, I was like, I want one. I want one.

25:59Ben Mandelker: They're cute, but you have to like literally live on a farm to have one. so he's like Mini Highland cows have become this trending pet the trending pet or animal to have these things sell for premium 10 to 15 times what a normal Angus calf sells for even if you don't have a big farm if you have less than one acre in your backyard you can have a Mini Highland they're great for anyone if you have a fam you feeling tired, feeling sad get a Mini Highland you want someone you love in your life now get a Mini Highland do you want to congratulate that special someone for graduating from the school that they just were in get a Mini Highland mini highland big small now you can have a mini highland of your own okay so have a big experience with a mini highland called McBee mini highlands

26:44Ronnie Karam: yeah it's a big gamble and I'm gonna have six figures put into these embryos with all the time effort actual embryo cost having the vets out I mean there's a lot at stake here no pun intended I was about to say no pun intended so your family's broke you're gonna lose everything you've just sold everything off and now you're going to start breeding cows in jesse's backyard i can't how is this even legal so we see on the screen 20 000 per highland cow and 1300 per angus cow guys that's it's a no-brainer uh i'm just double checking how much is a mini highland cow

27:27Ben Mandelker: let's see we're seeing I guess online it costs I don't know if it costs as much as$20 ,000 between$2 ,000 and$10 ,000 so it says if you're looking for a quick number this is from katievanslike.net so I don't know if katievanslike she seems to have a lot of numbers she seems to have a lot of authority on this subject she says if you're looking for a quick number most mini highland cows costs between two and ten thousand dollars so already he already he's he's lying to us although she does have a stat that says if you want to get a micro mini highland it's five to fifteen thousand

28:08Ronnie Karam: so these are the most micro mini cow now it's interesting because i love a micro mini cow but if i am uh seeing a woman with the micro mini i will call her a slut and i will not marry her Do you understand me?

28:27Ben Mandelker: Do you want a micro mini Highland that's going to sit patiently while you journal from 4 to 6 a.m. every day?

28:34Ronnie Karam: Then call McFeed Family Farms. These are not just any micro minis. These are micro minis that will journal with you and talk to you about memberships.

28:45Ben Mandelker: And remember, you do have the right to send that micro mini to the private school of your choice.

28:52Ronnie Karam: we will guarantee that these micro minis will not be above five foot eight and will have nothing but blonde hair and don't forget before you journal from four to six a.m you will also be journaling

29:05Ben Mandelker: with your micro mini from 10 p.m to midnight that's right two back-to-back journaling sessions

29:10Ronnie Karam: with a sleep in between oh i can't wait for the first rage text to a micro mini who the hell do you think you are your hair is too dark and i do not appreciate you hanging out with that other Micro Mini.

29:26Ben Mandelker: Okay. So they go, they check out these very, very adorable miniature Highland cows. And their hair is all looking very nice. And in fact, they do say that, like, you know, Stephen says, they have such pretty coats. Do you blow dry their hair? And they're like, yeah, we actually do. And he's like, man, all right. Well, that's something that, you know, Alien and Casey can do. Which, first of all, is so insulting to be like, okay, your ladies, your job is to give blowouts to cows. Of course. No. And also, like, I don't trust their blowouts. I'm sorry. I'm, like, not trusting Casey with a blowout.

30:07Ben Mandelker: Yeah. Those cows are going to come out of there just wearing big sweatshirts.

30:11Ronnie Karam: Yeah. And one of the ladies is like, well, you can go in there, but they're going to lick you to death. cows who don't want to be covered in cow legs they are taking over the world so steven's telling us we're going to use embryo transfers from web cattle company into our own mama cows and that's going to it's this just it just sounds like um handmaid's tale to me it's like

30:33Ben Mandelker: mini highland handmaid's tale and i'm a handmaid's tale yeah i don't like micro mini handmaid's tale

30:40Ronnie Karam: I don't like it.

30:43Ben Mandelker: I just think I'm not opposed to the idea of people breeding miniature highlands. I just think the idea that these tiny cows are going to be the thing that saves this big farm is ludicrous. I mean, if it was like a tiny farm, it was like we have a little hobby farm that we make goat milk out of like some skin products like the like the beekman brothers or whatever in upstate new york they have like like a little cute thing that sells goods to like brooklyn fine but like a proper agricultural farm in the midwest that's like has millions of dollars of debt and be like aha it's gonna be miniature cattle and then this is the same guy who now wants to muscle in on casey's actually promising tallow business.

31:33Ben Mandelker: Come on.

31:34Ronnie Karam: Yeah. So they take some of these little cows and shove them in the car. And they're going to invest because daddy ain't here to say no now. And this could change everything. Wow. It's a second man. Daddy's gone. And the first thing you do is go buy a bunch of micro mini cow toys. And then propose to them. Will you marry me? I think the oldest one doesn't have a wife. It's like, yeah, look, There's a job for Casey and Allie and Blair and Summer whenever they get older. And we get everyone working on the farm. It's going to be so good. It's the whole family. You in, Jesse? You in? He's like, I got it.

32:11Ronnie Karam: It's pretty cute.

32:13Ben Mandelker: He's already predestined Blair to blow out many Highlands for the rest of her life. Like, this is her job. This is her job.

32:23Ronnie Karam: Maybe Blair wants something else in her life. You know, have you ever considered what maybe Blair wants? For fuck's sake.

32:29Ben Mandelker: Please let Blair be a lesbian who goes off into corporate America. That's just all I want for her. Just to leave this world behind.

32:37Ronnie Karam: I just want Blair to come home one Christmas and be like, guys, I'm adding a syllable to my name. And there's nothing you can do about it. Oh, my God. How am I supposed to spell her name?

32:51Ben Mandelker: What's her? She's like, I'm adding a syllable. It's an N. I've added an N. Blair. I still want a syllable, honey. Damn it. It's the curse of being Cole's daughter.

33:03Ronnie Karam: So, Allie, we see clips of Vegas again, and Stephen's really worried about Allie. He's like, yeah, I was talking about Allie earlier, and I don't know. I'm struggling. And we see clips in Vegas, like I said, of them talking about their arguments over Stephen's inability to have a direct conversation with Casey. that whole situation is so bizarre and how did they just completely swipe over that situation why wasn't there a conversation with other ally saying ally why were you saying this relationship was inappropriate well they were hanging out a lot and it was kind of weird you guys can't drop something like that and then not follow up yeah that's what i'm that's what i'm saying like this is why this show drives me nuts it's that it's like it's like a poorly made show it's it's like

33:52Ben Mandelker: it's like they just decide to give the interns a tv show to create so ali even's like well you know

33:59Ronnie Karam: now she wants to take a step back for me so she's going to texas so i'm moving to texas you fucking

34:05Ben Mandelker: stalker that's not taking when she takes you guys are not dancing okay when she takes a step back you don't take a step forward okay it means we separate away slowly like probably with a knife in her hand leave her alone but also like how ridiculous this is that i mean if we're supposed to take it on face value very wide chinny face value the truth is that like the the farm is like falling apart and you're foisting this brand new cow endeavor on it selling miniature cows but then you're also just gonna skip town for a girl that you met like two months ago it doesn't it none of it makes sense i mean it's either that this was like a storyline that they decided to put forward to make this show seem somewhat dramatic or it's like you're just the worst possible administrator for this farm which is probably the latter well steven's never i mean

35:03Ronnie Karam: ever since the beginning they've always said steven's never there you know so he's only really there to film and then pretend like he's in charge of everything from what i'm getting from this show everything they say on the show especially cole cole's always like and then he doesn't think he wants to boss me around but maybe he's taking the boss me around because i'm the one who actually is here and i'll do all the work you ever heard of soybeans

35:30Ben Mandelker: um so now 5 p.m yesterday uh we see steven talking about his relationship with christy And he's like, sometimes slowing down feels like. She's like, like you're ending it. He's like, yeah, it feels weird. I know. I get those emotions every time I get to the bottom third of my latte. It's like, oh, you get me, mama.

35:53Ronnie Karam: Let's see. So Stephen's like. He's like, this is crazy. You know, I dreamt of a relationship and we're doing a complete 180. We went from getting married within a couple of months. Now she's moving back to Texas, moving in with her sister. It always hits me a little harder that I'm the oldest son and get to start a family. This is not the place I want to be at this point in my relationship. That's not how it works. You don't just say, I'm ready now, and then come up with a template that you want, and then just punch a card. It's not an order. It's not a mini Highland cow.

36:27Ben Mandelker: Yeah, it's not. So Jesse is like, is Allie really set on living in Texas? because I don't know exactly how that would work.

36:36Ronnie Karam: He's like, well, there'd be a lot to figure out.

36:38Ben Mandelker: He's like, well, I don't know if that's something that you guys will just have to test it and see if it's going to work at all. Yeah, Jesse, that's literally what's happening right now. It's like, well, it's going to be what we have to do because I can tell you, I did not plan on going backwards. You are the most pessimistic person without going forwards. I'm a little old to be going backwards. Okay, I'll go sideways, sure, but not backwards. I don't go backwards. Guess what? If I have to back out of a parking spot, guess what I do? I go forwards. I drive right through that traffic media until I get to the right side of the road.

37:08Ben Mandelker: That's just the way I do it. I don't go backwards.

37:13Ronnie Karam: Casey and Cole's home. She's decorating the home for Blair's birthday. And everyone starts coming. And they're like, oh, my God, it's Blair. It's her birthday. It's like, it's Blair's first birthday. And I feel like that was the fastest year of my life. Because it's also Cole's birthday. But sorry, Cole Case, this birthday's Gonna be about Blair And then so is the next one And then so is the next one And then so is the next one And then so is the Quack scene Jesus

37:49Ben Mandelker: She's right, when she said it was the fastest year ever It's because it took her that long To finish her sentence What, a year already went by? So, she's stressed I'm a little stressed to see everybody today Because no one knows That we got married And Ellie's like, so you're telling Chrissy today? Right? How are you going to do it? It's like, um, it's Cole's choice I told him I think she'll be shocked, but I think she'll be happy Um, and yeah And I think he'll be able to say You got Blair's seamless name It's like really cute Like, isn't that cute?

38:23Ronnie Karam: Yeah, it's great It's a great time to take the McBee name, Casey Great timing Um, yeah, it's a big one Cause it's like, you know Christy doesn't know that we're married It's Blair's birthday at the same time as Cole's birthday And, uh oh, I might be pregnant again

38:46Ben Mandelker: Uh, so she's like I think I need to take another test And Ellie's like Wait, how late were you last time? I don't know, a few days but I'm five days late. Oh no. So they go into the bathroom and then she pees on the thing and she's like, I can't look at it. Will you look at it, Allie? Here, hold this stick that has my pee-pee on it. Okay, tell me, what is it?

39:14Ronnie Karam: But I think we have to wait a couple minutes. Yes, Allie. Other person who's had a baby. That's how that works. So they sit in there and wait and Casey's like, this is gonna be hard two babies at one time i think it's been a couple minutes now should i look at it but what if we have a baby then we're gonna have two babies i got it want me to look at the stick yet yeah but more than one baby's two babies unless it's three babies what if we have 10 babies at one time oh god damn you're pregnant you're pregnant what what happens if cole meets a magic

39:52Ben Mandelker: frog and touches it and it turns him back into a baby then i got another baby what then wait a

39:59Ronnie Karam: minute i'm not sure is it supposed to be one stick or two sticks for pregnancy what does this mean it looks like it's just a big hole in a tree trunk uh that means it's cole's baby

40:13Ben Mandelker: but it should be a small hole in the tree trunk oh yeah you're right So she's pregnant

40:20Ronnie Karam: It was an artistic representation

40:25Ben Mandelker: She's pregnant Another McBee enters this world And a little baby Future baby Tate Is now brewing inside of there And they're like oh my god this is crazy And guess who walks in the front door It's Christy So um Christy comes in and they're like What are we gonna do I just found out I'm pregnant. And on top of that, she doesn't even know I'm married. And on top of that, she doesn't even know I accidentally erased all her touched by an angels that she had saved up on her DVR. What do I do?

41:03Ronnie Karam: If this family really wanted to make money, they would open a balloon factory. Did you see how many balloons were in this place for this birthday party? Listen, I get balloons, but why is everything this family does is so problematic? Like, do you need that many balloons? And you know they're just going to release them up into the air, and then dead birds are going to start falling from the sky. They're going to be like, well, that's good luck, Kate. That's good luck, Blair. Look how many birds fell from the sky on your birthday. Hey, your mama might be pregnant. I'm going to do rabbit tests.

41:38Ben Mandelker: My puppy always said that if a connection goes— If a Canadian goose falls from the sky because it's asphyxiated on a balloon, that's a good sign for your baby.

41:49Ronnie Karam: Yeah.

41:50Ben Mandelker: That's what we call liberal geese. Hey, what's that stick with the equality sign on it? That's a pregnancy test. Two lines. Oh, never mind.

42:02Ronnie Karam: Well, either way, get it out of my house.

42:08Ronnie Karam: So everybody comes. They're all telling Blair happy birthday. Even Galena's there. And Allie and Casey are walking into a conversation Christy's having, asking about the trip and Allie. And Allie's running late, guys, but she's coming. Do not worry about Allie. She's going to be here. And Casey, you know, doesn't know how they're all going to do this. I don't know. It's like this show's like literally paint drying. So a lot of people just keep coming in. And Cole's like, I can't believe my baby girl's already one year's old. It just seems like yesterday she was less than one year's old. It just seems like I got it.

42:51Ben Mandelker: I remember just last year hiring the helicopter and getting some AK-47s and shooting big little pellets out of them for the gender reveal. God, time flies.

43:04Ronnie Karam: So Allie comes and is like, oh, my God. Hi, everybody. Is this your grandma? What a gorgeous creature. Am I right, everybody? So good. I would take a picture of you, but that's content. You'll have to pay for that. So back the fuck up, Meemaw. Okay?

43:22Ben Mandelker: I have a finance degree. So Steven, yeah, he introduces Allie to his grandma, Sherry. And Sherry's like, oh, wow, yeah, I've actually seen you on your social media pages. Wow. And this is Gary. I was like, hi. It's like, yeah, well, this one right here is a keeper. As in, I've got a keeper. She's mine. Don't go anywhere else. You don't get to go to Texas. You're mine. I'm putting you in a cage, okay?

43:44Ronnie Karam: But she's a real keeper. I'm not even going to call her a keeper. That's just too old-fashioned. I'm going to call it a trapper. This one's a trapper.

43:53Ben Mandelker: You know, everyone's talking about, like, Stephen and I getting married and, like, what our plans are. And I'm still wondering, like, what's Stephen's favorite color? I mean, I also want to slow down and be realistic. And the fact that we've only known each other for a couple of months. And I don't know what's next. But as far as I can tell, this is the season finale coming up. So then I get to go back to my normal life. Thank you.

44:14Ronnie Karam: Yeah. I don't know if I'm going to dump him yet, but the cameras are almost down. So we're getting pretty close. And by the way, you know his favorite color. It's blonde. Duh. Do you even watch this show?

44:25Ben Mandelker: Seriously.

44:27Ronnie Karam: So now Christy announces that Blair is going to open up her presence. and uh cole's like oh my god i can't even have fun because we know that we didn't tell mama nothing about getting married when mama does we're gonna get married we're gonna bring players

44:42Ben Mandelker: birthday so you know what we're gonna do there's a good chance that mama might get upset because this could have been like a very important time for her and she was excluded from it and she could be like you know feel like embarrassed and humiliated may have some sort of reaction so we're just going to tell him in front of all these people okay so guess what guess what um so casey and i wanted to tell you something special for blair's birthday and we decided that casey would have the same last name as blair so while we were in vegas we got married on thursday night

45:12Ronnie Karam: are you lying you you're gonna take that from your mother you wouldn't take that from your mother

45:18Ben Mandelker: would you damn it's like that's that coming in hot back there hold it back hold me back hold me back so i'm saying love it is an angel oh god i can't believe they do this you know i would have sang

45:34Ronnie Karam: one of my greats here waiting ymca won't you come into the ymca

45:48Ben Mandelker: Don't blame it on the don't blame it on the moon Don't blame it on the sunshine don't blame it on the good times Why would you do this to your mother?

46:00Ronnie Karam: I like pinacoladas Getting out in the rain

46:11Ben Mandelker: There is a time When the world must come together when sorry Sometimes I get swept up in emotion. Just want to remind everyone about We Are The World.

46:25Ronnie Karam: I like big butts and I can't not lie.

46:34Ben Mandelker: Hey, this is crazy. And I just met you. But here's my mini Holland cow. Call me maybe.

46:44Ronnie Karam: I got my driver's license.

46:51Ben Mandelker: I don't even know what that one is.

46:59Ronnie Karam: So, yeah, they announced that they are married, and it's right before commercial, so it looks like Christy is pissed. But Christy always has a really pissed-off look, and then she gets that teeth smile. So she's like, oh, are y 'all serious? Oh, my gosh, I'm so happy. Yeah, it looks like Chrissy's going to be pissed But it turns out she's fine And hey, Blair also got her other gift It's going to train her for life A little mini blow dryer It's really a sweet scene

47:30Ben Mandelker: It's the prophecy It's the prophecy A song of blow drying and ice The song of lice and fire You are the prince that was meant to be um so christy yeah she does she does smile like she's about to go sell some popcorn on tv and then you know she's like wow they got married i don't know what's gonna happen next i realized i've lost control of my family they didn't even tell me oh wow i'm smiling through the pain smile through the pain would have been nice if i could have been included in this and see my son get married it would have been a very special time for his mother yes but boys will be boys so they I have to be okay with anything that they do.

48:15Ben Mandelker: Okay.

48:16Ronnie Karam: Great. Great. I mean, even Steven didn't tell me. He usually can't keep a secret from me. So this is great. I think I'm going to leave some control of my whole family. I love it. It feels great. It feels... I'm just so happy for you. Oh, my God. Let me see the pictures. You're in a wedding dress. Wow, cool. She got a wedding dress. So this was planned. So she planned a wedding with a wedding dress. This is so, I'm so happy for you. It's like blood coming out of her eyes.

48:45Ben Mandelker: She's like, well, at least you guys got a nice ring. Oh, turquoise. That's great. So happy. I'm so glad you got a turquoise wedding ring.

48:54Ronnie Karam: Got it at the cowboy Christmas. Oh, okay.

48:59Ben Mandelker: Well, I'll just put back this heirloom I was going to give to you on your wedding day. I'll save this for, I guess, Brayden. You're going to get married, right?

49:08Ronnie Karam: Okay. well this is gonna be great you know what they're gonna have a wedding when uh steve gets out i'm so happy and galena comes up to her she's like no no we have to plan reception right we are going to have reception i will be in charge of no master reception yeah and at some point in the middle of

49:27Ben Mandelker: this this situation um someone pulls uh christy aside and was like don't worry galena was not at the wedding because last week we were like this is so rude galena's there she's in vegas they don't even invite her to the wedding but i know in retrospect i'm like oh yeah that would be kind of fucked up if galena got to go to the wedding and christy didn't so yeah christy would have

49:49Ronnie Karam: been pissed that's true yeah um so she's like yeah you know casey's already my daughter and watching her just be such a good mama to blair it's just made me love her even more i can't wait to give her more uh free babysitting while she completely ignores me and doesn't tell me what's

50:04Ben Mandelker: happening in my son's life yeah well i'm i'm so glad that i uh gracefully stepped aside as for running their company at their wishes for them to repay me by not inviting me to their wedding that's so great that's great feels good feels so good so tessa's like well i'm just so

50:25Ronnie Karam: proud and i can carry y 'all help me all these years it's been a privilege it's been a privilege

50:33Ben Mandelker: I've been with the McPee family for a long, long time. Colder beans still on his daddy's lap when I came to the farm. So to be here in this moment, you know, watching the kids grow up and still want me to share these special important moments with them, it means everything to me. I'm real happy.

50:52Ronnie Karam: Sorry, a big gulp of water. Yeah, poor Tessa. She has to remind everybody every time. I'm saying, remember me? I've been taking care of you since you were little boys. Tessa's the only one on the show that I like. Thanks for not inviting me as well.

51:05Ben Mandelker: Huh? Yeah. I'm glad they invited Tessa to this because she's been, they like, what were they? They took her away from the dribble door and they put her off in wherever. Like, oh, the gas.

51:18Ronnie Karam: Oh, they took her off the gas. The gas. Remember, she was filling up the gas on the trucks. Yeah, she loved that. Well, I guess I'll be the office manager now. Yeah. Do I miss filling up trucks with gas? I sure do. But you know what? I'll just do whatever these boys need me to do. They want me to get my hand off of the gas lever. Then I'll go do it because I just love these boys more than I love my life. I miss you guys.

51:45Ben Mandelker: She loved filling gas up in those combines. I think she really did because she would just sit there in the garage and the guys would just come on by. They're like, well, Tessa, we need someone to fill up the gas. I got you ready. Watch out for the Lord. And then she's like, I do it out there in the field.

52:01Ronnie Karam: How are those adorable little kids? You tell me, you show me bigger than those little kids. You show them to me right now. You show them to me right now.

52:11Ben Mandelker: I do.

52:12Ronnie Karam: I do really like Tessa a lot. I do too. She's so sweet. She's just stuck in a fucking office now talking to staplers. There's nobody in there. Some big empty warehouse, you know, that's her heart.

52:23Ben Mandelker: Firm fulfillment facility. It's great. well what a wonderful family this is says tessa and no one else and so casey um is just like like whatever she's walking around and christy is like wow i have to say casey mcb casey mcb casey mcb wow this is crazy commercials here comes one right now

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53:56Ben Mandelker: Cole and Casey are in the bathroom because she's got something else to say. And Cole has an observation. He goes, this ring is kind of sticky from ice and I got to take it off and wash it. It's sticky from ice. How are you eating your cake?

54:16Ben Mandelker: Just Cole plumping his hand into the cake.

54:18Ronnie Karam: I hope I'm icing, yeah. I'm going to take it off and wash it. So Casey's like, well, you know, I'm stressed. How's Cole going to react? I mean, it's Cole. It's the same way he reacts to anything. He's going to go, wow, what? No. Huh? Wow. So she gives him a little present, and that's what he does. There's a little wrapped thing in there. He's like, wait a minute. No. Wow. Huh? What? No way. I mean, I'm happy and everything. But gosh, we already weren't getting sleep or nothing. Well, it's not like Jesus just like implanted this into you like you're about to do with cows. Have you ever watched your own show?

55:10Ben Mandelker: Because that would really help you get more sleep. So Cole's like.

55:15Ronnie Karam: Do a peacock binge of this shit. You'll be out like a light.

55:20Ben Mandelker: Uh-oh. I got some usin on the pregnancy test. Does that ruin it? Does that mean we're not having a baby anymore? No.

55:27Ronnie Karam: You're pregnant with the store-bought cake?

55:32Ben Mandelker: Wait a second.

55:36Ben Mandelker: Wait a second. It says the results of your pregnancy test say Duncan Hines. What does that mean? Looks delicious.

55:44Ronnie Karam: oh gosh so they're pregnant yeah super exciting and this was a good half hour of my life just this pregnancy stick part so then we go to Stephen Jr's and Ali's packing a carry on and it's very sad because Ali's leaving guys and Stephen's like yeah for me long distance is the kids of death in relationships yeah straining orders long distance relationships

56:12Ben Mandelker: That's it. Yeah. Those, yeah, restraining orders. Yeah. Screaming at your girlfriend and her family. Also usually a kiss of death. Yeah. So they get in this car and Allie says, this whole situation is like really tough for me because I love Steven and I care about him deeply. We've just had like a whirlwind of a few months and I just need a second to digest it all because like if cameras aren't rolling, do we even have a relationship? I don't know. Got to go back to Texas. So then he's like, are you even sad? She's like, yeah, I just, I didn't even get to say goodbye to the chickens. He's like, well, yeah, you didn't.

56:52Ben Mandelker: Or you didn't even get to say goodbye to Todd. She's like, Todd's the pig. I don't know. We see a little. Todd the pig.

56:58Ronnie Karam: Todd. Oh,

56:58Ben Mandelker: Todd.

56:59Ronnie Karam: Todd's like. Um, and so then they drive off and, uh, Todd the pig's eating an apple. Like later losers. Don't, Don't try and implant me with one more fucking thing. Okay. So they're talking about how she feels going back. It's just like moving so quickly. It's like almost like survival mode. And it's like worrying me about like, I hope my move to back to Texas is going to like help us slow down a bit and like get to know each other and just like go through that normal dating phase that you go through where, you know, you're not really in the same location as somebody. And you're just waiting to see if they're picked up for another season.

57:39Ronnie Karam: you know it's just like a natural progression of a relationship yeah i feel like

57:47Ben Mandelker: i don't know like there's something about this whole situation with ali you know meeting steven on instagram and then just like flying out to go like meet him in person and then just like staying for all this time it's all very like sarah plain and tall and i just feel like it's so it's like weird it's weird i'm like very glad that she's going back to texas

58:09Ronnie Karam: what was the plot of sarah plain and tall because all i remember is that it was glenn close and like a like a old school like mormon dress like what do you call the the super religious mormon like in the prairie dresses on the poster and i thought that's such a mean title to give glenn close like sarah plain and tall like geez yeah i i seem to remember it's about like a farmer who like

58:37Ben Mandelker: buys a wife or something or like says hey i'm looking for a wife will you be my wife or something something like that but it's definitely like steven definitely has that old school vibe of like well it's time for me to have a wife so gotta find one bring them up here they're not they'll don't be my wife so and it feels like she was sort of i don't it was just a weird cosplay i felt like they were kind of doing and i think she just sort of snapped out of it like whoa i thought i was coming up here to get laid and he's like oh we're getting married i'm going back to texas no i i think she's here for the show i mean just to get laid she wouldn't

59:16Ronnie Karam: have been here for this whole shooting time and then just happened to be leaving at the end yeah um no she's she's a player too but you know why shouldn't she be they all are you know she's like okay i can be on a reality show what was it last week or the week before there were pictures of her out to lunch with austin kroll from southern charm so you know she's making those tv rounds yeah well so um good for her bad for us yeah she uh she has uh so he drops

59:49Ben Mandelker: her off at the airport and it's awkward they have like weird strained conversation in the car because he's clearly upset so they'll be like driving quietly and she'll say things like hi hey hi hi, how are you doing? I'm like, just leave.

1:00:05Ronnie Karam: Just drop her off at the airport and leave. Let's never turn back. Yeah, and he's upset because he feels like he's getting dumped. And he's like, wow, you know, it's just, I don't know. Maybe I shouldn't have started off so strong and heavy. Allie has her own career. She's traveling all the time. She's so in the moment, living in the present, that she forgets to call back home or talk to her family or talk to her friends. So I'm sitting here thinking, you're going to be in Texas. I'm just not going to hear from you. Is that the way it's going to go now? You're just not going to call me? Oh, really?

1:00:32Ronnie Karam: We'll see how that turns out for you, stagecoach slut.

1:00:38Ben Mandelker: You think you just could go slut around, around the country, all these liberal cities while little cows are there? Hair not blown out. We need you at the farm.

1:00:50Ronnie Karam: Yeah, but, you know, we talk about how Ali is clearly here for the show. But I think Steven is clearly with an influencer for that as well. you know because he loves the fame too so he's you know he met kella on that millionaire dating show like may marry a man with the tractor and a million dollars or whatever that show was so yeah um well millionaire so uh they guess what now it's cold and snowy on the farm and it's time

1:01:21Ben Mandelker: to make the embryo transfer we've seen a lot of in vitro stuff on bravo but this is a new one So they've got to do it. It's a really cold day. It's a scary day to do it because they may not take because it's so cold. But this is their window to do it. So we watch them inseminate cows. And it's exciting for everyone who is there. It's disturbing. It's so bad. Tessa's there. So, you know, they're all there.

1:01:51Ronnie Karam: Jesse's there. Cole's there. And Stephen's like, who thought it was this? Of course, today we decide to do embryo transfer, and it's two degrees outside and five inches of snow on the ground. It's the coolest day of the year. Damn it. Allie freezes in the cold. We could have implanted her. Never leave. That's one way to keep Allie. We'll just start having her birth. Minnie Highlands.

1:02:14Ben Mandelker: If we want the business side of Minnie Highlands becoming truly profitable, we need a hell of a lot of them. So Cole then ushers all the cows inside.

1:02:29Ben Mandelker: is they're all like oh god we're going inside just to get away from this idiot so now they do all their insemination and tessa's like well those boys i love them and i'll do anything if i have to give a cow an epidural i will because i'll do anything for those

1:02:43Ronnie Karam: boys all right it's an epidural he's gonna put a block on them which is gonna make them numb then I'm going to throw the embryo. I'm giving it to him. He's just going to put it in. What the fuck is this? ER in the backyard? What are you guys doing? You can't do this.

1:03:02Ben Mandelker: I will be your father figure. Put your tiny embryo in mine.

1:03:10Ronnie Karam: So the cows are running towards, you know, they're running.

1:03:13Ben Mandelker: Of course. I'm sorry. I can't. Can we just go to the next scene? I'm so sorry. I can't talk about it. Thank you. I don't want like There's nothing more I can I don't want They stick it in the cows So now we go to Christy's house And

1:03:31Ronnie Karam: For their fucking toys And financial gain I fucking hate these people I'm not even upset about that part

1:03:39Ben Mandelker: I'm just more like There's nothing left to say about this So Christy's house And And Stephen and Christy are talking about Allie and the long distance relationship. And Stephen's holding Blair. He's like, what do I do with this one? I don't understand. It's a baby. And Christy's like, okay, let me help. So she's like, so did you get Allie dropped off? He's like, I did. She's heading down to Nashville. Which I thought she was going to Texas, but it's fine. And Christy's like, are you missing her already? Here, I got you a keg size of latte. That'll help you, our little broken heart. And she's like, yeah.

1:04:17Ronnie Karam: It was harder than I thought it would be, Mama. Yeah, it was real hard, Mama. And this is the time to tell you, I think I'm going to be spending my time in Texas. I was like, so you mean for maybe the winter? Well, maybe about half the time here, half the time there. I'm going to split the time. I mean, I don't know how many halves are in there and split. You know, whatever. It's a lot of time, a lot of time. I found a really nice property right outside Allie's window. I'm just going to stand there tapping on it. Like this, saying, open, open, open, open, hoping her dad doesn't shoot me. Well, that sounds a little dangerous, honey.

1:04:55It's love, mother, and it's called love.

1:04:57Ben Mandelker: Mama, do you have a trench coat in a boombox? I was kind of thinking about sitting outside our window playing some Peter Gabriel.

1:05:05Ronnie Karam: Well, I don't, but I do have a trench coat and Tessa. You could just stand out there and kind of hold Tessa up. She'll sing whatever you want to. She'll cry while she's doing it.

1:05:16Ben Mandelker: I would love to do that. I actually have an old boombox costume from Halloween 1997. I can just put that right on.

1:05:23Ronnie Karam: I've got a box dress. Can I do anything for them boys?

1:05:30Ben Mandelker: Well, how's it going in? In your eyes. In your eyes. In your eyes. In your eyes. In your eyes. Am I doing it right for you, Stephen?

1:05:41Ronnie Karam: One is the loneliest number that you'll ever know.

1:05:50Ben Mandelker: Every day is a winding road.

1:05:55Ronnie Karam: Well, for the last decade of my life, I put this farm and these businesses before anything else. And this is the first time I'm going to choose my personal life over the businesses. That is not true. And I wish that we could have a little sidebar of Cole as he's saying all of this, because I just don't believe you for 10 years. I'm finally going to go get a woman.

1:06:18Ben Mandelker: Well, there's also just something so obnoxious about, like, making all these mandates about what the farm has to be and then just saying, and now I'm going to put myself first and I'm going to I'm not putting the farm first. Well, if you're not putting the farm first, then why are you calling the shots? Like, get out of here.

1:06:33Ronnie Karam: Exactly. Yeah. Yeah. So he's telling Christy and Christy's crying because she's. That's my boy. That's my boy. I'm a boy mom. And it's terrible. It's the worst thing I've ever heard in my life. This is Delilah coming in here to steal my boy. Steal my boy. Why don't you just cut his hair? Cut his hair and take his weakness.

1:06:56Ben Mandelker: I think nature is already doing that for Delilah. So then Jesse and we now go to Jesse and Allie's farmhouse. and it's undergoing a major overhaul, which is exciting. And so Cole walks in and—

1:07:13Ronnie Karam: You know what you want from your man who doesn't know how to open a tractor door? To remodel your house by himself.

1:07:21Ben Mandelker: Yeah, seriously. I don't actually remember that there was an overall happening, but I'm not going to lie. It was around this part of the episode that I literally fell asleep. And so then I had to wake up again. And sometimes when that happens, I get a little hazy about the surrounding details. But yeah, I definitely dozed off during this scene. I'm not even lying. So Cole's super important.

1:07:45Ronnie Karam: It's very important to the plot. So Jesse got laid in Vegas after being a drunk asshole to his wife. And so now he's happy. So he's going to remodel the house so that she'll want to spend more time at this house instead of the big city house. So, yeah, it's it's it's great. So then they're talking about how Stephen Jr. might be leaving. He's going to Texas. And Jesse's like, well, definitely, I guess at the time, no, it's like New Venture and Highlands. And obviously, like, it's kind of crazy news. You're just going to run off and go live somewhere else. I mean, I might put a new load bear in something or other up there with this humor.

1:08:33Ben Mandelker: Steven's like, well, I'm not ducking responsibilities. It'll still be handling. I'll still be handling everything that I handle now. I just won't physically be there. And Jesse's like, well, all the other things that we've got going on, all the banks and the loans that are getting called and stuff. And that needs to be he needs to be here for that. It feels like a little bit selfish that he's just up and moving away. not that I'm gonna say anything about it so Stephen's like well I don't know I just feel like everything's falling into place and now is a good time forward it's a great time for me to abandon the farm yeah I knew this was gonna probably

1:09:07Ronnie Karam: gonna happen you know it still sucks hearing and stuff but like you know I'm worried about the farm worried about the future I'm worried about daddy I'm worried about my kid I'm worried about my new kid I'm worried what if I have another kid I'm worried about all those birds that didn't fall from the sky Let the balloons go, Casey. I got to fix everything for him. And if Steven ain't going to be 100 % invested in this farm, I'm taking over and that's it. That's the this and the that about it.

1:09:33Ben Mandelker: There's so much to worry about in life. Like Takis. Are those like tacos, but they're just called Takis? I don't understand things.

1:09:41Ronnie Karam: So, Cole. Are Takis immigrants? Think on it.

1:09:46Ben Mandelker: Takis? What? What? It's spelled with a K, but isn't Taco spelled with a C? I don't know. I'm just confused about packaging these days.

1:09:57Ronnie Karam: Well, I didn't want to come drop this on you guys, but I wanted y 'all to know where my thoughts are, and they are on for freedom after being chained to this company for my entire life.

1:10:07Ben Mandelker: So now we go to Cole and Casey's house, and Casey's like, Cole, why won't the closet pull down work? I'm on a stepstool. i don't know why i missed that line last night but there's something there's something so sad about like casey's announcements i'm on a step stool

1:10:30Ronnie Karam: well they have one of those closets their house is so big and the walls are so tall that they have a closet where you have to get a stick to pull down the top bar so you can get the clothes from the top bar hop but guys we've seen your clothes like do you really need three full racks going up to the ceiling it's the same it's the same target cotton shirt on the bottom rack just wear that one how many generic sweatshirts do you need so um uh steven meanwhile steven is uh

1:11:05Ben Mandelker: uh, that's literally all the scene was, was that she was on a step stool and the thing wouldn't come down. So now Steven, uh, goes, I, I, I thought that was gonna be the end of the episode, but now we have Steven in the car with Jake.

1:11:16Ronnie Karam: I mean, it was, it was pretty big. You should end on the bigger things. And Casey pulling down a closet rack was pretty huge, but you know, you guys are running the show. You do it how you want. Yeah,

1:11:28Ben Mandelker: that's right. So now Steven and Jake go ring shopping because Jake is finally going to pop the question to Tegan. and so um jake is uh uh they're excited and uh he's like i think i'm out of time if not it's getting close to time i don't know it's been eight years and so jess steven's like well you're waiting about as long as jesse has so let's go in and see what they got for a ring so they go into the drennan jewelry store they i feel like this is like the um kyle chan of yes of McBee Dynasty, this guy. They just come in here every episode. Yeah.

1:12:04Ronnie Karam: So, yeah, it's the Kyle Chan. And he's like, hey, guys, welcome back to the Ring Factory. What do we got here? Okay, today we've had a baby birthday, a baby on the way, a marriage, another marriage, implanting cows with babies. Wow, this show's got every base cover. Do we want to get rings for the miniature cows? Okay. Are they going to have babies in sin? What are we doing here? What are we doing?

1:12:33Ben Mandelker: Well, so Jake is there to look for a ring. But, of course, then Stephen makes it about himself. So now Stephen starts looking for a ring for Allie. And he's like, Allie's like, you better not get me a lab real diamond. You know, she was married before. The one that she had before was like$150 ,000 ring. So I want to get something bigger. Give me a$45 million ring. Daddy's going to pay for it. Okay. Many Highland cows will pay for this ring.

1:12:58Ronnie Karam: Wow. We're broke. We have no money, and Cole's house is about to get taken away. I'm going to spend$150 ,000 on a ring. And I love Allie. He's like, this is moving too fast. I don't like how fast this is moving. Okay, here's the specifications of the ring I want. Exactly. I know. He pulls out a list. It's like, do you have, do you have, wait, where is this one? He pulls it out at some point. We'll get to it in a minute. But it's like, do you have something that is four quarters of an emerald and three quarters of a dynamite and two stones on the side that center set and place over? Okay, Ali. You don't want to move too quickly, but it's like a page long of descriptions of the ring you want.

1:13:40Ronnie Karam: And it must be over 150.

1:13:42Ben Mandelker: Do you have yellow gold emerald with no halo, no cushion ring with two stones on the side of the Cussheader's side?

1:13:49Ronnie Karam: And you pointed this out already. But, dude, why do you have to make this about yourself? This is Jake's moment. You know, let the man have his moment. For Christ's sake. Exactly. And then Jake's like,$150? That's like five years of my salary. What are you doing here? These people are paying you$30 ,000 a year. Burn everything down, Jake. That's what I say.

1:14:14Ben Mandelker: Yeah, honestly, Jake's like, Stephen obsesses harder over a girl he thinks he's in love with than he does taking selfies in the gym mirror. We all really like Alex, Stephen. Don't scare this one away.

1:14:24Ronnie Karam: It's too late. We see a bunch of Stephen's gym pictures when he said that, and I was cracking up that he's such a Sheena. Like every pose he does is exactly the same, and he faces his face towards the same direction so he can always have the exact same good side. Wow. It's Sheena. It's a male Sheena at a farm.

1:14:51Ben Mandelker: corner um so uh jake's like i mean i thought when you went down to texas you was torn with a daughter asking her dad to marry and steven's like well i just feel like i'm 31 now and i'm not one where i'm not one where like i'm like jesse you know like we have to like wait eight years you know what i go after what i want i know what i want i want allie i'll be perfect we're gonna journal together well actually she'll sleep and i'll journal then she'll wake up and Then we'll talk about my journal. And then we'll do memberships and send our child to the private school of our choice. It's going to be great and wonderful.

1:15:22Ronnie Karam: And poor, this poor guy is just like, do you have anything for about$30? I'll look at that one for my engagement. And see, it was like, you know what? I think it's too soon. You're right. It's not time. Do you have diamond handcuffs that I could buy? Give me those. so now we go back his is like a crumpled little piece of foil on a garbage tie yeah

1:15:50Ben Mandelker: well he can always have only fans to get a better ring and I encourage it so then we go to the Farm Fulfillment Center it'd be a great plot twist Farm Fulfillment Center and Casey is she's working on the tallow she's putting labels on jars and Cole comes over with Blair and Casey's like, Stephen and I still have not figured out a single thing about the tallow business and Stephen's been absent and hasn't really helped with anything since the last time we talked. So yeah, basically Stephen is, he heard that there was money in it. He wanted to get involved and then he found Little Cows and now he's onto that one.

1:16:34Ronnie Karam: So he found out that they're going to stand up and not give Allie 20%. So he's like, fuck you, and then found something else to go do. So, yeah. So Cole, so she's holding the baby and trying to put stickers on these fucking products, okay? And she's like, Cole, could you hold the baby? Can't you just do it at the same time? No, she's working. She's using a bro. So then she hands him the baby. He's got her for two seconds. And then Steven calls like, we need to talk in private. I do not want you talking in front of Blair Casey. He's like, okay. here's the baby okay come here big girl trying to put stickers on

1:17:13Ben Mandelker: these are consumer facing products and she's got to do it like while holding a baby meanwhile all the labels are going to be like askew we'll smell it all over them and shit

1:17:23Ronnie Karam: people are going to be wiping this stuff on their face no offense Blair but you're a baby and that's what babies are snotty little goo factories

1:17:31Ben Mandelker: meanwhile we know Cole can't handle those labels because it'll get icing on them somehow so Stephen's like the only labels Cole's into are for bathrooms.

1:17:43Probably.

1:17:44Ben Mandelker: The only label he's into is Forever 21. Stains. Forever 21 Stains. That's what his shirts look like. Get it, everyone. Get it! Heather Dubrow, get over here. Thank you! So, um...

1:17:58Ronnie Karam: So he walks off into the warehouse. Can Blair hear me? Because I don't trust her. Okay, now listen here. They're calling in the loans. and the land that your house is on, they're calling it a loan. Sorry, Cole, but we're broke, okay? And I'm about to spend$150 ,000 at the ring store, so you're pretty fucked. We spent all the rest of the money getting embryos into cows that didn't consent to that. So, sorry, going to have to wrap it up here. Pack it up.

1:18:27Ben Mandelker: Yeah, I know you have your dream house, and I know it's literally a roof over your family's heads, but the money that we could have used to make sure your house would be secure for the future I did spend on a diamond ring so I could love bomb Ali a girl I've known for eight weeks and the rest of it I spent on a tiny tiny cow that has hair that you guys will now have to blow dry since you don't have a house anymore

1:18:50Ronnie Karam: okay have a great day goes like what? why is everything happening to me? why is the government coming after us like this? I just don't get it when are things going to turn around for the Mickey Boos?

1:19:04Ben Mandelker: when's it going oh us poor very wealthy people bond diamond rings here and there and invest again novelty cattle when are things going to turn around for us poor folks and that is the

1:19:17Ronnie Karam: McBee Dynastie so god I'm praying that next week is the season finale it allegedly is I will believe you but if it's not it will be our season finale either way but everybody thank you so much for being here. Always fun talking about this idiotic show. We will talk to you next time. See you later. Bye. Bye.

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1:21:21Ben Mandelker: Who, what, why, where, and Gwen Pentland. Nobody holds a candle to Jamie Kendall. We got our wish, it's Jen Plish. My favorite Murdo, Karen McMurdo. Let's get savage with Laura Wildman In the study with a candlestick It's Leslie Peacock We're ride or die for Lisa Rider Baron She's a whiz, it's Liz Sarthy Always killin' it, it's Lola Alkalani Roger that, it's Marlis Rogers

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1:22:11Ronnie Karam: She ain't no shrinking Violet Kuchar. We love you guys.

1:22:19Ronnie Karam: This episode is sponsored by Nature Raised Farms. There are so many complicated things on Bravo. Like opening the front door on Summer House. Or figuring out how to wear a Linfinity dress.

1:22:29Ben Mandelker: Or understanding Tom Schwartz's purpose on the valley. In a world full of confusing choices, thank goodness for nature-raised farms. They believe that food shouldn't be complicated.

1:22:38Ronnie Karam: Especially chicken. But the freezer aisle often makes it that way. Too many options, too many additives, too many compromises.

1:22:46Ben Mandelker: Do I like complicated chicken? No. No.

1:22:49Ronnie Karam: Chicken should be fun. Complicated chicken, not fun.

1:22:53Ben Mandelker: Chicken should meet a higher standard. And nature-raised farms is free from gluten, dairy, and soy.

1:22:58Ronnie Karam: There are no seed oils and no artificial ingredients.

1:23:02Ben Mandelker: Also, Nature Raised Farms Chicken is a good source of fiber and only between 8 to 12 grams of fat per serving dependent on the product. Chicken, that's just chicken. When food is that simple, there's a quiet joy in it.

1:23:13Ronnie Karam: And we love quiet joy, like the moment Erika Jayne puts down her microphone. Keep your life simple with your new favorite chicken. Nature Raised Farms Chicken, because chicken shouldn't be complicated. This episode is sponsored by McDonald's.

1:23:27Ben Mandelker: I'm having my hot Caesar summer, Ronnie. Yes. Caesar sauce? I feel like we don't talk about Caesar sauce enough because it's so, so good. I love to dip everything into it. Have you ever dipped fries in Caesar sauce before?

1:23:39Ronnie Karam: I mean, I just have. It is delicious. Caesar sauce is like a Parmesan, garlicky blend with some lemon in it. And you can dip anything in there.

1:23:47Ben Mandelker: One thing I have been known to do is to stop over at McDonald's and go to the drive-thru and get myself a Caesar snack wrap and just dip some fries in the Caesar sauce. Also, the crispy strips in the Caesar sauce. Honestly, try it. It's really good.

1:24:01Ronnie Karam: Listen, I say if you put Caesar sauce on something, that automatically makes it better. Yes, that's really all you need is the Caesar sauce.

1:24:09Ben Mandelker: I think I just want to have just a constant supply of Caesar sauce and put it on things at all times.

1:24:16Ronnie Karam: Yeah, I'm a straight up French fry and Caesar sauce kind of a boy. That's what I love. And that's how I'm going to go down.

1:24:21Ben Mandelker: Right now at participating McD's, the$2.99 Caesar snack wrap is making me rethink my go-to order.

1:24:30Ronnie Karam: Caesar sauce at participating McDonald's for a limited time.

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