#3509 RHOC S20E07: Zip It

0:00Hey guys, it's Paige from Giggly Squad. Okay, can we all agree that hosting is so much fun? And I really do love it. Every weekend, it's come over for snacks, let's make dinner together, and somehow the second you put out a fruit platter, it seems that bugs show up before your friends do. This is why I have to have my Zeevo flying insect trap. You plug it in and you let it do all the work. It's specially designed blue and UV light attracts the bugs you didn't know you had and wow did we have a lot like house flies fruit flies gnats and then with zivo bam next thing you know the pests are caught in the sticky cartridge and away from your yummy treats without any mess or strong odors the best part is the design is actually sleek and curved so it hides the bugs it catches keeping them out of sight and when the cartridge is full you just grab the no mess tab throw it in the trash pop in a new cartridge and then you're done no mess no stress So whether you're hosting a dinner party or spending an afternoon baking treats with all your friends, and you want to focus on hosting and not constantly swatting at bugs, Zivo has you covered with 24-7 bug protection.

1:07Plug in a Zivo flying insect trap so you can work smarter, not harder, and actually enjoy your time at home. This episode is sponsored by Butterball Turkey. Butterball. Care hard, cook easy.

1:21Ben Mandelker: I was watching The Real Housewives of Orange County the other night, And I was thinking so much of this drama could have been solved with turkey. I think that about so many things. Exactly. Just get everyone around the table with a delicious meal, a turkey meal. That's how you bring people back together. What if it wasn't Thanksgiving? Being the Grand Dame isn't a one-day-a-year affair. Every day is a chance to get down with turkey burgers, ground turkey, and more. Eating turkey is like watching Bravo. You can do it anytime. And the more you do it, the happier you are. Yeah, Butterball Turkey is made for everyday moments that bring people together with ease, and it tastes great while doing it.

1:57Ben Mandelker: Do you think if a Butterball Turkey showed up at the Real Housewives of Rhode Island reunion, it could bring everyone back together? Maybe it would, girly. Maybe it would. I love a turkey. Butterball simplifies cooking so you can focus on who you're cooking for. Butterball has turkey made for the way you care, whether you're cooking for your best friend or mending bridges with your frenemy. Butterball. Care hard, cook easy.

2:29Ben Mandelker: What's the crap we love to talk about? I'm Ronnie. That's Benuni over there. Hello, Ben. Hi, how are you? Good. Welcome to the end of the week. Thank Jehoshaphat. What a week. What a week. It is Real Housewives of Orange County Day. As usual, if you want to watch this on video, you get all of the videos of our recaps over on Patreon. That's where we do videos, bonus episodes. This week, we did a whole bonus episode about the banana split and ice cream. Yes. It was great. And it was really fun. We learned so many things. We learned a lot of things, and we had a lot of opinions about the man who claimed to have invented the banana split.

3:35Ben Mandelker: So that was good. And all the different iterations of it, and all the people trying to fight over ownership of it. So that was really fun. And you'll also find ad-free listening on Patreon and a Discord server where you can go and talk poo with each other. There's a free newsletter every week that I write. It's like a recap of all these shows. And that's free. You can just sign up for that for free over at Patreon. Monday night is crappy hour. That's our live streaming Bravo headline show that we do with you guys every other Monday at 530 Pacific time. And we do Amazon Live every Monday at 130.

4:13Okay. So join us for all that good stuff.

4:17Ben Mandelker: I think I'm ready to add something onto the pile of Ronnie. I think it's time to unveil a little project I have been working on on the side with Watcher Crappins, which is that in an effort to make our YouTube channel even sexier and more fabulous than it already is. I have started up a YouTube series called What's Your Order? And wherein I invite one of the fellow Bravo fan, most likely from the Bravo content creator universe, to come join me here in my office. And we come up with an order, a top five on a certain Bravo subject. and I've already recorded with Courtney Frayne from Two Judgy Girls, Kiki Monique from Reality Checked I've also recorded with Eric Williams from That's a Gay Ass Podcast and Julia Cunningham from SiriusXM and there will be more to come and I think it's time to slap those episodes up onto YouTube and I think I'm going to do it next week so keep an eye and an ear up for our YouTube because those videos are going to go up, maybe I'll put them up for the weekend And who knows?

5:30Ben Mandelker: I got to figure out a time to release it. But go subscribe to our YouTube because there will be some really fun content coming up very shortly. Wow, that's great. I can't wait to watch them. Congrats on the new show, buddy. Woo-hoo. Thank you. That's the Watch What Crappens YouTube. I should elaborate in case you couldn't figure it out. Yes. So you'll see that all over our socials and all that good stuff. So go check that out. Today is Real Housewives of Orange County Season 20, Episode 7. seven. All bets are off because we're in Vegas. So this show is still vicking, you know, through. It's limping.

6:08But I still laugh. So I don't know what that says about me. I still laugh. The show is limping. It's thirsty. It's trying. It's like, oh, the 20th anniversary. They're not quite making it over any kind of hill. But I still laugh. So that's really all I that's all I require in a show.

6:29Ben Mandelker: Yeah. Um, I mean, I'm, I'm amused by it. I don't think it's a very good season. Maybe it'll be like Beverly Hills. Beverly Hills had a dreadful start. And I think it sort of ended in a fun place. So, you know, here we are. It's episode seven, seven episodes in. Nothing's really happened. No real through lines. You know, also giving, you know, we also need to point out Tamra, the Tamra, what's happening with Tamara because Tamara is very much having one of her oh yeah I'm just nice person this season we'll see how you bitches like that I'm just gonna be nice to everybody just smile about them we'll see how your show is you idiots and Tamara was basically looking at the camera every episode like you like it you like it like look what I bring to the show you assholes so i think tamra is lying dormant i think she is waiting to splurt like a volcano her yeah one has to hope that her fire upon everybody yeah i'm hoping that a producer is like tamra it's time for you to do your thing okay just do it just do it yeah but uh we yeah i mean i guess maybe for the sake of the trace amigas she's being nicer but like unleash your wrath on Heather, Unleash It on Jen, on Gina or Emily, whatever, anyone.

7:57Ben Mandelker: But I mean, the thing is that we're also getting a lot of Gina and Emily. They're very centered and they're not quite interesting enough to be so central on this show. Okay. I don't know how many times we can say it, but they just can't carry this show. I don't think it was wise to bring both into the 20th season i'm sorry it's harsh but it's just a reality their storylines are not compelling it's not saying that other people's storylines are more compelling just saying their storylines i was gonna say no one's really winning this season okay no no there's no one that's like wow they're they're worth the money this season yet so we'll see but here we are in las vegas Nevada day two um before I well I guess I could say it right at the beginning because it's how it starts the ladies are getting ready for the Grand Canyon are you fucking kidding me you're gonna make me go to Vegas and then you're gonna make me get in a car for four and a half hours with these people to drive to the Grand Canyon no there's my answer no I won't do it I refuse to do it why would you bring me to Vegas and then make me get in the car for four and a half hours with these people no there yeah that is crazy you would think that um like if this were beverly hills they would just have like private helicopters taking them out there they could do it in like an hour but uh it is orange county so they're like guess what back in the car you go yeah so is it really four hours to the grand canyon from vegas i mean i didn't think it was like an hour away but i i figured it was i figured it was a little closer than that that sucks man that's that means eight hours total crazy right okay i'll do the math i'll check it out grand canyon let's see you get the bring in live results i looked it up last night because i was horrified you had the voice of someone who looked up these details so i tried oh yeah i looked them that's the first thing i did i pressed pause and looked it up it's saying four hours and four minutes here but last night it was saying four and a half hours so i guess maybe there was traffic last night but well it's four hours each way each way that's you know what i'm gonna say this they probably stayed over at the grand canyon and they they probably did a day there's no way those women are spending eight full hours maybe in a car together that's so you know the things you do for work i guess but nobody even complained and that's when i was like what is happening to this show that no one's bitching about it, that there's no fights in the car.

10:31Like, what even happened in the car on the way over? So I just, I have a lot of questions about it. The main one being, why? Why would you do this? So they are getting ready to go on this trip. Everybody's being wacky, talking about what they need to wear at the Grand Canyon. And let's see, Heather is checking with Jen, because Jen is the one who ended up buckling and giving Shannon a better room. So Heather's asking her if she slept okay. And she's like, yeah, the room is no different. I mean, what is this whole room change thing? I mean, it was just such a pain in the ass. I'm really upset with Shannon.

11:03I'm really upset. Well, you shouldn't have changed the rooms, you dummy.

11:07Ben Mandelker: I need to clarify something here, Ronnie. To go from Caesar's Palace to the Grand Canyon Skywalk is actually two hours and 19 minutes. Wow. Well, thank you for clarifying. then how come when I put Las Vegas to the Grand Canyon, it says four hours? Is it possible that you sought out a different part of the Grand Canyon? Oh, it's a big canyon. It's grand. It is a big canyon. It's pretty big. It's in the title. It's in the title. Oh, so here's why. You type in the longest possible way. I put Las Vegas Strip to the Grand Canyon, four hours and 29 minutes. I will tell you why. Because the Grand Canyon is huge.

11:57Ben Mandelker: And if you just type in Grand Canyon, it takes you to the other end of the Grand Canyon. And that adds two more hours, which by the way, wow, the Grand Canyon is big. I didn't realize it was two hours just to get to the other side of it. But yes, the Skywalk that they went on to is two hours away, which is much more doable, makes much more sense. Yeah. And that would make sense that they would put the Skywalk as close to Vegas as possible. So, okay. Something was not sitting well with me. I'm glad we got to the bottom of that. Well, should we restart the recap? Because that was 10 minutes. I think, well, if you listen to that part of it like 10 times over, you could really cut through your commute from Vegas to the observation deck.

12:44By the time I'm done bitching incorrectly about the time it took for them to be there, you would have been there, basically.

12:52Ben Mandelker: Yeah, because you know we would have gotten emails about that. That's the exact sort of thing that would have been like, actually, from Vegas to the observation deck, it's only two hours. You know, you know. Okay, well, that is a lot better. Thank you. Sorry to everybody. Sorry to production. Okay, let's get on with it. Anyway, this Shannon not taking the room and getting out of staying in that room because of the electrical interference from the elevators is very Shannon. But, man, I wish they had just made her stay in that room so we could see Shannon just in the fetal position today. Like, I see the elevator.

13:31It changed my brain. I'm seeing people. A little girl crawled out of the toilet last night and asked me to cut her hair. They're like, get out of here.

13:39Ben Mandelker: I'm not myself. I've had elevator radiation I don't know what's happening with me I'm a zombie I'm actually literally a zombie I'm not even alive oh my god help me you said it okay you said it okay David David David David David David David David David um so um so yeah so they're changing rooms and everything they're getting ready did you mention this part already while I was looking up the distance to the Grand Canyon Jen saying how the room this like this whole thing is a pain in the ass did you mention that part Jen saying that Okay, well, what I'd like to add is, Jen, you were the one who volunteered to switch the rooms at that point.

14:15Ben Mandelker: Like, you can't complain if you volunteered yourself. Yeah. Like, you did this. I didn't want to move. I didn't want to move. I just already unpacked everything. The toothbrush was in the holder already. Do you do this? Do you unpack everything when you get into a hotel room? No, that's the other thing I wanted to point out. Like, I am not someone who moves into my hotel room. I definitely just, like, live out of my bag. Maybe if I was staying in a hotel for a long time, I would do it. Like, I hang things up. And, like, I take things out of my toiletry bag as I need them. And then once they're out, they're sort of out on that counter.

14:51I think it's a guy thing, how we do it. Because I think they have so much stuff that they have to, you know, like makeup and this and that. They have to. I was watching this thinking, God is, not that I didn't know this before, but God, it's so much more difficult being a woman. You know, every the stereotype when I was young was like, oh, he wants to be a girl because he's dressing up in his mom's clothes and stuff like that. And some some kids do, you know, that's fine. I didn't. I just have always like respected the hustle, you know. Yeah. Because it's a lot. It's a lot of hustle. A lot of work.

15:25Thank you. Yeah. We both. I'm sure. Unzip our bag. Get shit out as we need it. I put the toiletry bag by the sink. I do what you do. I get shit out as I need it and then throw it back in there wet. I don't even care if it's wet. I do not care. I'm a man.

15:42Ben Mandelker: That's wild. What I will say is this. I live a packing cube lifestyle, so I might as well just have drawers. Everything's organized in my bag, so I know where things are, generally speaking. But my parents, by the way, they are chest of drawers people. They get into a hotel room, and the first thing they are doing is they're opening those shelves up, and they are putting clothes in shelves. Even if it's for like two days, they are doing it. Like they just, they love to put things away. And so like there are some people that just, they just love to do that. And God bless them. But I just am like, it's too much work.

16:20Ben Mandelker: The bag. I just spent 10 hours getting here. The bag is going in the corner. These days, I used to not even put the bag on the little bag rack. Now I do do that. I'm starting to realize the value in having the bag a little bit higher up. It's like, it's almost like a buffet. It's like, ooh, what do we have in here today? What's in the bag today? But everything. Old baby buffet. It's like, wow, I could wear this cheap ass shirt with holes in it or this cheap ass shirt with holes and stains on it. I like to pretend that when my bag is on the little bag stool and it's opened up, that it's just like a 1920s waitress in a speakeasy.

16:56Ben Mandelker: Be like, what do you want? Cigarettes? Want some hooch? I'm like, I'll just take my socks, please. So Jen's saying, oh, oh my God, this one may need help. I mean, she's not even out of the bathroom yet, and I guarantee you, she's standing there with three hats on her head and shit all over my counter. So Shannon comes in, and she's like, I've got Diet Coke for you. She's like, this is not going to, you cannot bribe me with the Diet Coke, Shannon. You cannot bribe me. I'm very upset, Shannon. You could do that with me. I'd be like, well. Thank you so much for the Diet Coke. Thank you so much. I really appreciate the Diet Coke, Shannon.

17:26She's such a kind of person.

17:28Ben Mandelker: Really. You do put the ass in aspartame, but you know what? You're an ass that I love. Thank you so much. She asked us, why didn't the situation with Heather just go straight to the source? Why didn't it? It did. She said last night at dinner. Heather, I was very hurt that you took the room and we didn't even get to discuss it. And Heather said, really? Well, if you wanted the room, you need to communicate by saying, let's have a rock and paper scissors. Or let's pull straws. Or let's have an Alfredo toss. Whoever tosses Alfredo the furthest wins What's that game that you play With the things that you bash and cut And cut Alfredo with Rock, paper, scissors Why don't we play that?

18:17So the ladies all meet up in the main suite And Shannon comes in in a wacky scooter It's a jazzy It's a jazzy That's right It's me Shannon Bedore Here's how the horn sounds.

18:32Ben Mandelker: It's funny because my new next door neighbor is DJ Jazzy Jeff. So it sort of makes sense if you think about it. No, no one. Alfredo, where the hell are you? Could someone get Alfredo to Las Vegas as soon as possible? Thank you.

18:49So this is a wacky. Oh, there you go.

18:52Ben Mandelker: What took you so long, Alfredo? Come on. This is a wacky Vicky and Shannon scene. You know, Vicky's limping, so she's going to get a scooter now. Watch out! But Shannon comes in, and she's being so wacky on it that she runs over Vicky. It was actually kind of gratifying. It was gratifying. The audience thanks you. The audience did. Because Shannon on a jazzy is not what anyone needs to be. especially after her brain's been fried by elevator radiation. So she just should not be on any sort of thing that has wheels and a steering wheel. So Vicky's like, after that, I mean, there's bigger reasons for her not to be in a moving vehicle than that, but I'll just save you with that one.

19:41Ben Mandelker: The house without a face would like a word. Yeah, exactly. And so Vicky is like, what is Shannon thinking? Her heart is there, but she definitely, and she definitely wants to help me, but come on, you almost killed me. So Shannon's like, um, Jen, can I borrow my purse today? Because I bought it. I brought it for today for Grand Canyon going. And I just, I've never worn it before. And so it turns out that as part of this switcheroo, Shannon's going to let Jen use one of her bags for the day or something like that. But almost immediately, Shannon's like, yeah, that bag that you took, I actually want to wear that today.

20:17Ben Mandelker: So can I have a bag? Thanks. my Grand Canyon outfit requires the green bag I don't have another bag that's going to work with my Grand Canyon outfit her Grand Canyon outfit is like it's like funeral sun funeral you know it's like a sunny day funeral sunny day funeral sun funeral so Jen's like this is just so typical that she already needs to borrow it oh my god oh my god so they go they go out and um vicky's on her scooter and everyone's like oh my god watch our vicky and vicky's like i'm gonna be black and blue up to my anus after this um so now they head into the cars to head to the grand canyon for a two-hour drive and um emily is asking uh she's like so how's carmella in your room tamra and tamra's like well i went to get talked to last night and she was really all frazzled because her daughter's sick oh no that was he flashbacks of last night and carmella's daughter has the flu literally so stupid like oh my god honey i'm sending an iv for you at noon please call me and let me know you're okay she's like 15 okay she's calling sick because you're away and you can't stop her ass from not going to school.

21:45Give me a break. Like, oh, Carla. I mean, Carmela, she's just so distraught. Her child has a cold.

21:54Ben Mandelker: And we now cut to the other car where Carmela's, like, calling her daughter and just like, how are you? And then Carmela's like, well, she has the flu, guys. And Gina's like, oh, my God, how old is she? Like, who's, and then Shad's like, who's staying with her? And Carmela's like, well, her older sister's taking care of her. And then Danny is staying. too. I probably owe him big time for this. Well, it shouldn't be a big deal that he's taking care of your kid, right? She's like, well, to him, I don't think it is, but I definitely feel grateful. Faith, she's still not feeling well, which makes me feel very uncomfortable, because Danny's not the caretaker.

22:32I mean, yeah, he'll help with rides or something, but I'm the parent. It's me. It's me who should be there letting the IV person in. I know.

22:40Ben Mandelker: Danny, Danny can step up I'm going to say this right now If he's your boyfriend He is the parent right now And he can step up And he can bring her soup And Theraflu And whatever she needs And he does not need to be owed Yeah, Danny lives with your family Doesn't Danny live with them all? He's like part of the household And he cheated on you And he cheated on you Danny can be taking care of the kids Danny can be doing the oil changes outside Okay? Danny can be pulling weeds in the back The hells He doesn't have to Danny can do a lot of things Okay Yeah Yeah. So Gina's like, oh my god, though, but when you're like a step-parent, you fall in love with your step-kids.

23:15Ben Mandelker: Like, you know what I mean? You just do for them like you do for your own kids. That's why I'm always putting up shower curtains in the middle of their rooms, okay? I just treat them like they're my own. Well, when I filed for divorce at the time, the kids were three, four, five, and six. So it was quite a few years, basically. Consecutive. Three, four, five, six. Yeah. Clockwork. They were almost a dance beat. Chad's like, oh, so when did you actually file? She goes, oh, well, we were in the business together, and we kept on just kind of kicking it down the road. And their dad is, you know, he's a great quarterback, but business is not his thing, so I manage a portfolio.

23:56And it's a lot.

23:58Ben Mandelker: And Gina's like, but you're raising four children. She's like, yeah. And I quit my job to raise them so he could live out his career. um yeah she's going on and trying to open up to the ladies i'm bored frankly but um you know i mean she's she's new but i'm like yeah i need i need more than this and then i don't know what i wanted her to say but if you're like i have kids at three four five six i want you to say like one's a tap dancer loves tap dancing one has already robbed a liquor store you know some i need something you're new you know so the tap dancing one by the way was the one who robbed the liquor store.

24:35That's why I didn't get away with it. For Christ's sake, get it together. You're going to rob a liquor store in tap shoes? Am I right? But, you know, still we persist. Still we persist. And Vicky is hating this. She's just staring ahead. It's like, this woman does not make sense with anything she says. I mean, there's just something wrong with here. There's something wrong here. I don't know why nobody else is saying it! Why does nobody else say it?

25:00Ben Mandelker: And so then the other car, Tamara's like, can you explain to me what business Camilla's gonna do with you Jen and Jen's like I really can't um I don't have a real estate I don't have a real estate license and I'm not an interior designer I don't have a developer's license I barely know how to open a door um the other day I I got very confused by a stool I was like what is this drum and then I was drumming on it and then I got kicked out of the coffee shop it's a lot of things I'm just not capable of doing so I don't really know what I'm supposed to do with her when she told me I feel like it's putting the cart before the horse you know what I I mean, I think you need to establish a foundation and a friendship first before you throw out business ventures to people.

25:40I mean, what the hell? This woman gave me a$3 ,000 purse. Murder at the stake. I'm so sick of nice people.

25:47Ben Mandelker: I'm sorry, but are we not supposed to be putting carts before the horses? How else is the horse going to push the cart? No? No? Are we supposed to buy horses if we can't put them in carts? so how is a horse supposed to go grocery shopping if it can't go behind the cart to push it down the aisle well yeah what if she tries you and she's like okay yeah you work for me now you gotta pick up my dry cleaning and my coffee she's like okay well i'll do it for 20 grand i mean that's a pretty good offer right and she's like a year that's a lot i mean that that is that's not a lot for a year. I mean, you have dark cleaning, no, it's not a lot, my baby.

26:34Ben Mandelker: Tamara. I just love this version of Tamara that you have in the back. Yeah, it's not that much. It's not, but it's guys. I don't know. It's not that much. I'm just imagining this little Tamara gremlin in the back of the car trying to figure out like, if not$20 ,000 is a good deal to get coffee for someone. Yeah, maybe. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know, baby. It's time for a commercial. It's time for a Crapins Commercial. This episode is sponsored by Butterball Turkey. Butterball. Care hard. Cook easy. I was watching The Real Housewives of Orange County the other night, and I was thinking so much of this drama could have been solved with turkey.

27:13Ben Mandelker: I think that about so many things. Exactly. Just get everyone around the table with a delicious meal. A turkey meal. That's how you bring people back together. What if it wasn't Thanksgiving? Being the Grand Dame isn't a one-day-a-year affair. Every day is a chance to get down with turkey burgers, ground turkey, and more. Eating turkey is like watching Bravo. You can do it anytime, and the more you do it, the happier you are. Yeah, Butterball Turkey is made for everyday moments that bring people together with ease, and it tastes great while doing it. Do you think if a Butterball Turkey showed up at the Real Housewives of Rhode Island reunion, it could bring everyone back together?

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29:21Ben Mandelker: Hero Bread is offering 10 % off your order. Go to Hero.co and use code CRAPINS at checkout. That's code CRAPINS at H-E-R-O dot C-O. In the other car, Shannon's like, oh, look at the Grand Canyon. It's so big. Vicky's like, that's what she said. So now back to the other part. Jen's like, this is a dumb question. They're like, we know, Jen. Yeah, Jen, you don't have to leave that part in. It's assumed if it's coming from you. And God bless her, it really is a dumb question. It is dumb. Guys, how did the Grand Canyon get out in the middle of nowhere? Like, who found this? How do you even think to go looking for this?

30:08you're at a casino and you just say, wow, I think I'm going to go look for a big hole in the ground until you find it. I mean, what were people even doing out here?

30:18Ben Mandelker: And she was totally serious. She was totally serious. I mean, I have for sure thought about what it must have been like to be someone who stumbled upon the Grand Canyon for the first time and be like, holy shit, you know? Like, that must have been amazing. But it's also hilarious that she's like, who found this? How did it get here? Why is it here? magnets how do they work um just like her brain is gonna explode by the end of this trip there's just so much for her to consider it was so funny and she goes yeah like why do we even know it's here like that's crazy someone actually someone actually drove out here to find it and Emily's like what explorer found the Grand Canyon well I assumed when they created the 13 colonies and we all started expanding west they just found it oh yes of course 13 what found what's that what who has 13 colons it's like yes of course we no one started um exploring and ravaging this this continent until america was founded first like once america was founded we're Like, okay.

31:27Ben Mandelker: For those who are wondering, the European explorer, of course, you know, Native people found it way earlier. But for those who are wondering to know, want to know the answer to this precise question, it is Garcia Lopez de Cardenas who reached the South Rim in 1540, which was earlier than the colonies. And I'll bet if you look it up, it took him four and a half fucking hours to get there. thank you

32:00Ben Mandelker: actually I don't know when the 13 colonies were officially like came to be yeah those were 1607 well the first colony was 1607 but then the rest were much later because they all had to get together who cares the point is well actually I do care this is all actually more interesting than what's actually happening on the show let me tell you let me tell you when Mike came into this world August 25th, 1975. Before that, nothing was happening as far as I was concerned. The Grand Canyon didn't exist until you came here, Ronnie. That's it. Nothing is really there until you see it. Jen is like... So Emily's theory is that once the 13 colonies were all...

32:41Ben Mandelker: once were all established, then that's when the gumption of America just headed west and then they found the Grand Canyon. And Jen was like, so you were just in your horse and buggy? Yes, people took a horse and buggy like the ones you see in Central Park. They just took it all the way out to Arizona until they fell into a hole. She just doesn't get it at all. But there's not even a freeway by here. I mean, what is a horse and buggy? Why would they do that? Yeah, and they're like, wow, look at that big hole. Let's go around it. And Heather goes, don't hang left. There's a big ditch. Sorry, that was just my text to Alfredo There's a joke There is a big ditch on the right He's gonna crash into it It'll be hilarious Yeah, who found the Grand Canyon?

33:31What are you, stupid? So Heather's like, I'm not Magellan I can barely get to 7-Eleven Heather, you have never been to a 7-Eleven Cut it out I know, Heather pretending that she's been to a 7-Eleven is as crazy as Jen not understanding anything about discovering things.

33:56Ben Mandelker: Yes, Heather, I'm not even sure she knows what a 7-Eleven is. That's where you go when you hire seven new servants at 11 a.m., correct? So the ladies arrive at the Grand Canyon Skywalk entrance, and they put on some booties because they don't want to scratch up the skywalk, which is really nice until they get on their hands and knees with all their rings and then start dragging their jewelry across it. First thing I thought of. So they're walking around the skywalk. They're being ridiculous. Like, oh no, I'm going to fall over. Oh, wow. And then Shannon's like, I'm going to barf. I am going to barf.

34:41Ben Mandelker: I'm like, Shannon, you are as far away from electromagnetic radiation right now. You're dangling over the Grand Canyon. You're safe. Except for the fact that you're not a precarious structure. But who cares? Do not look down. Do not look down. So Tamara's showing them how to do it, and they lay on their stomach and, you know, crawl on the floor and stuff. And Vic is like, oh, my God. Shannon's pretending like she's ice skating or something. She's, like, clutching the wall and unsteady. You know. it's not it's not i have to say it's it's she's not building her case for coming back next season i'll tell you that much i love shannon but this chick has got to go yeah you this is definitely a time where i think people were hoping that a couple of screws would pop out of that overhang like you want to be scared be really scared i want to see like some final destination shit where it's like, whoa!

35:38She's like hanging off and just like hanging by a thread of Vicky's scooter.

35:44Ben Mandelker: We're going to need Shannon to find a man soon because that's when she stops pretending to be wacky and fun. And then she just gets consumed with her own insecurities about her relationship. And that's much more fun to watch. Well, I don't know whose idea was to put all these accident-prone women on a glass bridge over the Grand Canyon. Jeez! And they're like, wow, woohoo, wow, woohoo, wow, being wacky, wacky, wacky. And Carmela's doing the typical Kyle Richards track of like, I'm just terrified. I can't look down. I cried on a Disneyland ride, like a virtual one that you ride in the air, but you feel like you're really in the air.

36:24And my kids were like, mom, this is embarrassing. I had Ivies brought in for all nine of us.

36:30Ben Mandelker: and then the staff who like works like the ticket booth at this place bravo's like here bring this vote of champagne out they're like uh okay and they walk out like like here's some champagne like oh wow this is great bash i feel like this is like luxe experience while there's like tourists everywhere and um jen's saying oh my god if the champagne would have come out before maybe we would have been running on the platform but we'll take it we'll take it now please i'm I'm like, yeah, that's why the champagne doesn't come out before. Okay. Unless we watch the first housewife fall into the Grand Canyon.

37:04Yeah, exactly. It's like the most dangerous place to be drunk, hanging over the Grand Canyon. And as we do on housewives trips, we get two options so people can split up and go do stuff. You can go zip lining or you can do a cultural experience. Please let Vicky not do the cultural experience.

37:25Ben Mandelker: Yeah, seriously. she has a yeah she luckily has a allergic reaction to anything cultural so she immediately goes to ziplining and Heather goes I'll do the cultural so they're going to split up some are going to do ziplining some will do cultural and Shannon's saying I feel empowered that I stood on that bridge please not only should you feel empowered I want you to stand in your power Shannon you seem like a new woman zipliners let's go i've i've ziplined a lot before mexico costa rica stepping out of the comfort zone and ziplining over the grand canyon i mean it's it's just so much fun i think i could do it i could do it i could do it so they go to up to the ziplining place and uh emily's like is there a saloon we can stop by first i need a shot or something i mean what are we gonna do is hey Hey, who do you have to know to whoop it up around here with?

38:22Oh, gosh, Vicky, you're not even remembering your saying. Your saying is, who do you got to whoop it up with to get a woohoo around here? It's been stuck in my brain, melting it for weeks.

38:34Ben Mandelker: And you're fucking it up? Come on. Seriously. So they have to climb the seven-foot structure, seven-flight structure. Wow, seven feet. There's a lot of feet to go up. Seven flights, they have to climb up the structure. And then they're going to zip line across what seems to be a field that's alongside the Grand Canyon or near the Grand Canyon, but not actually over the Grand Canyon, which makes sense. It looks scary to me. Big. Looks too big to zip line over. But they're just doing a zip line, something or another. And then we actually have to, they actually use it as a cliffhanger for the commercial break.

39:10Ben Mandelker: Like, will they be able to do their zip lining? It's always bad when the zip lining has to be the teaser to get you through the commercials. Yeah. The zip lining actually was scary to me because the way you do it is you hold on to a thing. I guess you're sat on like a little swing of some kind, right? Or is that the harness that you're kind of sitting? You're like in a harness. You're supposed to hold a thing. I was bringing up groceries the other day. I'm so weak. I was like, oh, my God, it's too heavy. I needed to kind of – it was two grocery bags, by the way. I had to stand there for a minute and like drop them and then resume.

39:44I don't think I have the arm strength to hang on to these things. I would fall off.

39:49Ben Mandelker: No, I mean, you would still go. You'd still go. It's not like if you let go of that thing, you'd fall down to the ground. You're in a harness. But I think— Well, that I know. But you still don't want to just let go of the handles and you're doing it like this on your back. Yeah. I don't know. It didn't look fun to me. I don't understand why people do this. but they did it and it was wacky so emily and jen go first and then we go to the cultural and they they do fine they're alive and then we go to the cultural experience with heather carmella tamra and gina and there's a guy who's like welcome to the huallapai nation on the reservation that we've been here since time began okay uh could you speed it up we don't have all day great culture Speaking of reservations Speaking of reservations We are expected at Nobu tonight Are you interested In working at my house?

40:57Let me ask you something You've been here since the beginning of time Does that mean you know how to use A broom?

41:10Ben Mandelker: Are you familiar with Richard Marks? Just wondering. We have tribal members come out and perform our traditional song and dance. Oh, great. Do we get to choose? I do whatever I want, whenever I want, with whoever I want to. That was a song I performed, written by Richard Marks. Thank you very much. Do that one. Oh, since we're performing, would you mind if I joined in? I did just take a performance class at the Groundlings last year, just to brush up on my musical theater experience that I got at Syracuse University. I wasn't anything goes. I don't know if you saw that, but sure. Okay, you'll just move out of the way and I'll take center stage.

41:52Ben Mandelker: Thank you very much. Well, we are going to be telling a traditional story. Yes, and?

42:04Ben Mandelker: Now, that's called improv. Go on. Go on. We are the birds. This is our final resting place. And birds rest in beds, which I am in because I am a bird. And? And I am bringing macaroni and cheese to this dinner party. And what about you? This is our home. and this is the best day of the year because it is mother's birthday and we got her crazy gifts and... I don't think you understand that this is a sacred ritual and... Scene, scene, wipe the scene, wipe the scene. I didn't like that. I didn't like that. You need to learn a little yes and, okay? There, there was my culture to you. You're welcome.

42:58You're welcome.

43:00Ben Mandelker: They're just not used to dealing with famous people. Well, we did recently have a very beautiful moment with the actress, Wendy Mellick. Quiet! My turn. My turn. Still speaking. Still me.

43:19Ben Mandelker: So we're at the zipline. Now Vicky doesn't want to do it anymore. She sees her life flashing before her eyes. Oh, my God. Did I tell Michael I love him? My four grandkids. Did I tell them I love them? My daughter, my son-in-law, Coto Insurance. Who's going to buy Coto Insurance? I need to call all of my loved ones. Yes, Vicky, you called all of your loved ones. They were sent to voicemail. Yeah. Okay. Just move on with your life. Okay? Michael's like, I saw you once. It's not going to happen again for four years. Stop calling me. So basically, Vicky and Shannon decide not to do it. So they head over to the others.

43:53Ben Mandelker: They meet up with everyone else. And Shannon's like, God, I wish I wasn't such a wimp. Maybe if I had all my facilities about me and hadn't been fried by an elevator, even though it was minimal exposure, it was just enough to make it not safe for me to zipline. I'm sorry, girls. Yeah, so they just go down and meet them, and they're still wearing their harnesses and everything. And I'm like, why are you still wearing your harnesses? Well, they didn't come to take them from us, so we just stole harnesses from a native reservation. I guess we missed the cultural part, huh? Well, yeah, well, you know, that's okay.

44:35Ben Mandelker: I mean, we are our own culture, if you think about it. Housewives culture, isn't that a lot? Americans have been stealing from the natives since the beginning of time. I saw it on the front, so. Chase me. Yeah, wow. Yeah, and then we do also see, like, Tamara's crying over the cultural experience, by the way. She's like, cause it's a piece of the song about the birds. It makes me want to cry. And Gina's like, aw, are you getting emotional right now? That's like so sweet. Like, I'm like really happy that you're doing so well. Like, I'm seeing such a difference this year, Tamara. Like, I could tell in everything you're doing and you're communicating, you're just feeling better.

45:19I was like, yeah, I just kind of let things go. Yeah, it's like crazy, Tamara. Like, we've been to, like, two dinners where you've opened your mouth and black smoke didn't come out and start choking children. I'm just, like, so proud to be your friend.

45:37Ben Mandelker: So proud. So then we see Emily and Jen walking around the Grand Canyon. And Emily's like, you know what I was thinking? I feel like maybe you should say something to Shannon just about the tantrums and the behavior and the meltdowns. Go do it, Jen. Jen's like, okay, thank you very much. I will absolutely do that. Yes, thank you. Got something completely natural for you to do. Get upset about the rooms, Dan. We're sucking air. Please do anything. So Jen's like, one million thousand percent. Heather's right. Okay. you know, this is just really upsetting. Shannon is definitely directing her energy in the wrong place.

46:21You look crazy because you just don't address the realness of whatever your problem is. She did already. But keep milking this. I mean, I guess. You guys don't have anything else. So go ahead. I'll go along with it. Vicki and Shannon come over. And Vicki's like, I'm humiliated that I didn't do the zip line. Okay, you're still going to just steal those harnesses? What are you doing? Well, nobody took it off us. So you know what? I'm taking it. Well, we're talking about you. You know, you came up from my perspective. I kind of feel badly about Jen. Poor Jen about the room we were talking about. It was really rough on Jen.

46:59So you guys fight about the room again.

47:02Ben Mandelker: Come on. Well, you know what? What angered me is that Heather always cares about the room. And you know that she does. And she walked in and she sat in a bed and I go, oh, is this your room? And she goes, well, I took my shoes off. So yeah, it is. And Jen's going to be in the primary. So you take this room here. And I thought, don't tell me what I'm doing, Missy. And the way I expressed that is that I looked at her and I gulped and I said, oh, okay. And I think I was pretty clear when I said that. Yeah, I said, okay, I will be in that room dying from electromagnetic waves coming off an elevator.

47:38Ben Mandelker: I was so furious. If you hear me shriveling into nothing, that's why, Heather, enjoy your room. I was absolutely furious. I was livid. I could barely control my emotions, which is why I then walked by Heather's room, and I said, oh, you look very pretty today. And then I walked back to my bed, and I felt great that I got that off my chest. You know what she did? She peed out of the bed. That's what she did, Heather. She just peed out of the bed. Vicky, you're someone who's like literally peed on beds on this show. Just say anything else, you know? How they did not throw clips in here of Vicky pissing all over beds is shocking.

48:13It was kind of a miracle. I don't know how that wasn't in here. Yeah, seriously.

48:20Ben Mandelker: So Shannon's like, what do I care about? It's Heather's whole era. It's Heather's way, okay? So, well, then that's what you should have said at dinner. Well, I thought I did say that. You're saying that it didn't come across that way? No, I think what you said was, oh, I remember now. It was, could you please pass the bread? I think that says it all, right? No? Well, it really didn't come across that way. Well, I was hoping that I would say, oh, you look so nice. It's so nice seeing you up here from heaven after I've died from electromagnetic elevator waves. thought that would convey the point but apparently not you know this is a real wake-up call for me i need to be honest with heather lord knows she's honest with everybody else here it's also a wake up call for me because i've heard nothing but ringing ever since i was close to that elevator wow well i've had issues with heather and it's not easy you've got to have your points ready you've got to have some protein first maybe do some calisthenics you've got to get some feathers on your sleeve i mean i've got that i think people avoid it sometimes because they just don't have it in them they're just tired is you you're just too tired to fight her i i'm it is a good point how heather is because there is no winning with heather and i love it it's so fucking funny to me so shannon's like i'm i'm i'm i'm i'm getting meltdown about it now guys now you're gonna be very meltdown about it no more meltdown shannon geez just talk to her well you know i i prided myself on the fact that i didn't demand the best room like heather does all the time me shannon I could have been a diva and I wasn't.

49:52Shannon, you just cried all night about fake electromagnetic waves until somebody gave you your way. You're like 30 times worse than Heather. At least Heather is just like, this is my room. Get out.

50:03Ben Mandelker: Yeah. Yeah. I feel like Shannon has had a fit over rooms before. So Shannon says, I'm just, Jen, I'm just going to talk to her now. Okay. Is that all right? Because they're back at the hotel now. So she's going to go say something. Jen goes, oh, okay. You want me to step out? oh yeah no it's fine um you can step out if you want or or not it's it's okay but um yeah you could go it's go get out of here so heather's like okay i'm sensing you have something to say to me so uh yes heather when you came into the room i said is this your room which was my way of saying i want this room and you go yeah because i took my shoes off and it bothered me because what you don't understand is it has nothing to do with the rooms it was that the decision was made and i feel like I wasn't talked about it to me what no one talked to me about it and that's what bothered me

50:56okay listen I hear what you're saying but I don't a hundred percent agree with you you have a voice and if it bothered you and if you felt that way you should have told me we're playing rock paper

51:10Ben Mandelker: scissors but I don't like to hurt people's feelings and I would like to remind everybody I don't have someone that I just, I feel really low this week and last week. And when there's an altercation or I don't feel good, I don't have somebody to come home and talk to about it. I mean, sure, I could always open up a brick of Philadelphia cream cheese and pour my heart and soul out to it. But it doesn't ever say anything back to me. And I don't have a partner to bounce shit off of. That's it. That's it. I'm alone. Oh, I understand, Shannon. You're alone. own you know you remind me of those those dog stores they used to have in the mall where you'd walk in you'd see pets they'd be in cages they'd be so sad nobody would pet them little homely ones you'd walk by kids wanted to buy the cute ones the homely ones just sat there and you thought they're probably going to be taken away and turned into hot dog meat at some point and you would think aww, and then you'd get the cute animal.

52:08And that poor little gerbil never had the chance, did it? What were we talking about? Are you hungry? I have a carrot in my purse.

52:18Ben Mandelker: Are you equating me to a puppy mill? Well, I'm just saying, those things never fought me for a room. You know, and if they had a feeling, they would tell me, Shannon, I'm sorry you're dying alone. That said, I got the bigger room because I was there first. So if you don't like it, you need to say something. Heather's trying to be understanding because Shannon's whipping out the, I'm single. And Heather's trying to be nice, but she can't. She's literally just staring at her with her black eyes, rolling her eyes. Now we have to listen to the Shannon is single thing. Oh, God. I think this is the best apology that I'm going to get from Heather, and I just wish Heather would just say, But you know what?

53:04Ben Mandelker: Yeah, I contributed too. I was maybe inconsiderate. Heather does not care. She's like, I'm going to get dressed. And when I get dressed, I'm going to swirl around a lot because I have so much room in my room. I really put the idea of room in the bedroom. Know what I'm saying? Okay, if anyone needs me, I'm just doing whirling dervishes over there. Bye. Commercials. Here comes one right now. Losing weight can be like trying to roll a wheelbarrow up a hill. You can do it, but it's so much better and easier with support. Noom combines GLP-1s to kickstart your weight loss with healthy habits to help you keep it off, even if you stop the meds.

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55:50Ben Mandelker: Download WhatNot today and get$20 off your first purchase. Search WhatNot, W-H-A-T-N-O-T, in the App Store. Sign up and start finding the best deals on the products you love with$20 off your first purchase. Now we go to the casino. The ladies are walking into Gamble and Vicky's doing her scooter thing before we watch her run up more stairs, which I think she's already run upstairs in this one. and Shannon wants to play blackjack because when I win, I get to go, which is different than woohoo because Vicky has woohoo, but I have woohoo, woohoo. It's very different. And so they're gambling and Heather wins at roulette and Tammy's like, why do the rich keep getting richer?

56:39Ben Mandelker: And she's like, I'm not a big gambler, but I kind of wish that my numbers would come up a little bit more than I often liked in Brunswick, bitch. Heather's numbers aren't even coming up They're just rolling the ball And then Heather's going Put my chips on the winning number Alfredo I won If you wanted your number To come up We could have played rock paper scissors So Jen Carmela She had so much fun today And Jen says By the way some of the girls were saying that they felt like it was odd that you're building a business team before working on friendships. Carmella's like, oh, so we're just not going to support each other?

57:22Ben Mandelker: Is that what, was that what we're going to do? We're not supporting friends like women supporting women. That's what we're not going to do. Oh no, we support each other. We support you. We support you. Don't worry about it. We support you. And then the other ladies come up and Emily's like, it's awful loud over here. I hope something's being stirred up because this episode really sucks. And Carmella's like, Well, listen, I mean, it should be a happy thing, not a contentious thing. I'm still not sure what we're upset about here. And Heather's like, what happened? Did Shannon start crying about a room again?

57:55Joan's like, well, I just asked Carmela, you know, talking about the business thing, you know, because people thought it was weird, right? I mean, Emily thought it was weird. Remember, Emily, when you said that freakazoid Carmela just giving you money in a business and you're an idiot and you don't deserve anything? It was something like that. I did say it. It was weird.

58:12Ben Mandelker: well we have a new friendship and she wants to try something new and i want to support her in that yeah so what like be an employee and be an apartment like what what is it like tell me like get a job and emily's like um well the way you put it like that that makes me that that makes sense to me but when you told me about your house you were like oh i'll just like have her help and then throw her 20 grand so then shannon's like well i just i got my fellow rancho santa fe i i I just, I feel so bad, sweetie. I feel like you're defending yourself for your generosity and your kindness. And unfortunately, as we see what happened with hotel rooms, generosity is just often not reciprocated in this group.

58:50Ben Mandelker: So I feel so bad for you, sweetie, my fellow Rancho Rancho. You shouldn't have to defend your generosity and kindness the same way that Heather doesn't have to defend not having generosity and kindness. Do you think, do you think, dear? These people just don't understand the Rancho Santa Rancho way of life. Please tune them out for your own sake. Please. Rancho to rancho, sister. Well, it's just a lot of red flags. We're just wondering about stuff. Well, who's wondering, though? I'm wondering. It's a red flag. That's all I'm saying. It's a red flag. And Carmela's like, well, I've never in my life done something I thought was nice and had it picked apart to this degree.

59:32I'm so sorry, dear. Oh, I'm so sorry, my little almost kookamonga. We could have been rancho kookamonga. Rancho Santa Fe. That's what makes us special. It's just, it's, you know,

59:44Ben Mandelker: there's another world where we could have been San Juan Capistranos together, but I'm glad that we're ranchos. I'm glad we're ranchos. Okay, well, you're a new friend. You're a new friend. And I like you as a person, okay? I like you as a slutty person, at least, you know, which is the type of person I normally don't like. But you're a person, you're breathing. And I like things that are breathing. So, listen, I don't like all these adotes, though. Do you live in Orange County? Yes or no? Do you live in Orange County? Well, I live in Rancho Santa Fe, and I have a second home in Orange County. Okay, and you left your kids in San Diego.

1:00:17That's bizarre to me. Who would leave their children? Who would leave their children?

1:00:22Ben Mandelker: People have different living situations. And Carmela's like, I always put my children first. That's below the belt. I understand. But, like, then why are you in Orange County then? Like, why? She's like, because I have a job. Like, it doesn't make sense. because at 14 years old, one year older than my grandson, there's no way my daughter would leave that job. No way, no way. And everyone's like, whoa. Also, let's just remember who's saying this here. Vicky, the mother of the year, who when she was dating Brooks and Brianna said, wow, Brooks said, Brooks told my husband to beat me. And then he asked me if he could show me his girth Brooks.

1:00:59And Vicky stood up for Brooks and stayed with Brooks after this. So can we not get into what a wonderful mother Vicky is?

1:01:09Ben Mandelker: Yeah, can we not? Also wild that Vicky's one of those kids is already 13. That's crazy. So then, of course, Heather goes, Vicky, that's no, we are not doing children. No, no, no, not children. Heather starts yelling at Vicky like she's a dog that got into the trash. No, no, no, no, no, Vicky. no don't tell me what to do you can't tell me what to do just move on do not talk to me that way i'm telling you 14 50 60 i'm with my kids i'm with my kids i know when they were that age i was always with them yeah and neither one of them will even come see you or spend time with you vicky okay maybe less of that yeah no kids no kids so carmella's like my children know who their mom is stand down don't talk to me that way do not talk to me that way so everybody agrees oh go ahead we have to now like move Heather to the front lines of some conflict stand down she's also like auditioning for like you know House of the Dragons season 4 or something both lips that she makes stand down I'm very angry Heather right now I'm chip clipping your face stand down Oh, God.

1:02:32Ben Mandelker: She just... It's just disciplining Vicky. So she's... This has gone too far. How Carmella chooses to parent is none of Vicky's business. We can shame her for so many other things instead. Not this one. You cannot criticize someone as a mother, ever! Unless it's your own, of course. Fuck her! Yeah. Well, I did say as a mother. I did say as a mother. Well, I know who I am as a mom, and I don't need to defend that. That's one place in life I'm motherfucking solid. Thank you. And Vicky's like, why is everybody just drinking Carmela's Kool-Aid? Why? Maybe Carmela gave everybody a vibrator. Maybe that's why they're excited about her.

1:03:11Ben Mandelker: Weird. Weird. It's crazy. It's crazy. Good one. Crazy town. So then Carmela's like, fuck that bitch. Fuck that bitch and her scooter. And so she goes off. Fuck that bitch. Fuck her scooter.

1:03:27Ben Mandelker: so now um it's it's a new day emily's facetiming with shane asking how the kids are luke is at school um and then um they're just talking about annabelle emily's like is luke at school because he keeps texting me and shane's like well don't text him back well gee shane yeah you send annabelle grilled cheese when i'm trying to make her eggs and then you send her a grilled cheese sandwich Well, I feel bad I'm not there. I get guilted into things. So I call her DoorDash. Well, then buy it for her when you're here. What's the excuse then? He says she does at the same time. I love that Shane's sitting there making eggs and Emily's like, fuck your dad's eggs.

1:04:08We're calling DoorDash. I know, seriously.

1:04:15Ben Mandelker: So we're at Shannon, Heather, and Jen's suite and Gina shows up. She's like, I got up early and I'm still riding a high from the club. because they all went to the club last night and Gina showed them how to like fist pump and everything. And it was a great time had by all. Yeah. Shannon tries to show us her fist bump and saying, oh God, was my underarm? Oh God, my underarm just shook. Did I look fat? Oh God, just cut that part. So then we go to Carmela's and Gina's like, oh, we save out here, Carmela. We save. That was so awkward last night. It was awful. How are you feeling? She's like, I feel awful.

1:04:50I mean, the narrative, it was just so far from the truth. I mean, you don't know me. But then to say I left my kids, my kids are everything to me. I live for my kids.

1:05:02Ben Mandelker: Fascinating. So Gina's like,

1:05:08Ben Mandelker: Gina's like, Vicky told us not to engage and get to know Carmella the entire time we were in the car on the way to the Grand Canyon. And like, that was like such a missed opportunity for you to get to know Carmella and what she's like not about, and what she's about, you know? but I'm sorry I meant to say Vicky chose to not engage she told him not to engage so Carmela's like if anything I show my kid what it's like to hustle and to work which I see her doing every single time she asks if she can skip school you know and why can't why like why can you win but no one else can am I right yeah and Jen's like it's almost like a mentality of like is it insecurity I don't even know I don't even know she's like everybody's up here and we're all down here it's a housewives classic line so now we go to vicky and tamara and tamara's like hey what happened last night with you vicky there's just so much yelling it's a cream and yeah you didn't do her mom shaming kind of barely calling her a bad mom i mean bad vicky because so funny don't do that vicky it was so good vicky i mean i know she's a good mom she's freaking out because she's away from the kids she's been in college she's been wanting to go home because like well of course i mean i appreciate like that she's a good mom but like i'm looking from the outside in and i feel like carmela is like buying her way into all this like i'll employ you i'll give you a vibrator a chanel purse did you not employ laurie wearing for like several years on your at your insurance agency like people do things for people so yeah but that was before laurie was a housewife wasn't it wasn't laurie a real housewife in season two season one didn't she just work for vicky and then she's just a friend of him i think so but i don't know i watched it so long ago it's the 20th year anniversary so who knows but i think she was someone who worked for vicky and then became a real housewife because she was kind of popular but i don't know um i think she was i think she was originally the original cast was vicky gina joe laurie kimberly bryant so uh she was probably my facts are just off today Poor Lori is still on her way to Las Vegas, or on the way to the Grand Canyon with the wrong directions I gave her.

1:07:21Your brain's just a little tired from all that driving. Don't listen to a thing I say today. You've just done a lot of driving. But then I remember the second year when Vicky was all pissed because Lori was all full of herself now, and Vicky was the one who gave her the opportunity in the first place.

1:07:37Ben Mandelker: And then Lori met George. Yeah. Vicky Rico. Rich Rich. Got a lot of money. Yeah. Okay, so Vicky's like, you know, I take it slow with new people because not everybody's truthful. You're one of the biggest liars on this show, Vicky. You are one of the biggest proven liars, like one of the lowest of all of the low liars on this show with your cancer scamming ass. So he's like, I've been through it with boyfriends. I believed everything they'd tell me in reality when it wasn't. When I would bring paperwork to reunions that were talking about my boyfriend's cancer and it was just gobbledygook and lorem ipsum over and over again, I fell for it.

1:08:19I fell for it. You helped him. You did.

1:08:24Ben Mandelker: She's a liar, Vicky. I know she is. Kill a cancer. So Carmela is like, well, I guess it softens the blow a little bit that I'm not the only person that Vicky has targeted. but there needs to be like a level of accountability taken and you're a grown ass woman fucking act like it so everyone gets ready because guess what today's gonna be a scavenger hunt organized by heather dubrow so it's gonna be extra extra fun so everyone get ready because if you thought the fun and games were done for the episode because normally there's fun and games only one part of an episode. You're in luck. We're getting fun and games in a second part of the episode because there's nothing really going on.

1:09:15Yeah. So let's see. Scavenger Hunt. They go to downtown Las Vegas and they talk about how wacky this is going to be. They do Fremont Street and all that stuff. And Heather is so fun. I've even made you all beauty sashes that say funny names like vicky the verminator or you know titty tamra or gina the poor one so cute

1:09:47Ben Mandelker: emily snuffle up i guess it's a compliment

1:09:54Ben Mandelker: so why is my sasha size eight really hurt my feelings elizabeth bender designed that one it's not my fault so they do this scavenger hunt um i'm sure it was super amusing for them i'm fast you know we do fun things like hire an alfredo or put an alfredo in a private bus that goes directly to my house or hire another Alfredo. Things like that. Yeah, it was a wacky scavenger hunt and they also have ziplining on Fremont Street. So Shannon and Vicky decide they have not just had one, that one wacky ziplining scene isn't enough. They're going to do another ziplining scene and it's going to be 10 times the wacky.

1:10:45Ben Mandelker: Yeah, they're really going to do it this time. So they do, there's their, their, uh, zip lining. And this is after Vicky crashes her scooter into like a display in some tchotchke shop, by the way. So they do it and they land and they get to, they, they, they, they, they land at the same time. And I'm not sure if there was a winner of the scavenger hunt. This is the second scavenger hunt we've seen in a week on Bravo, by the way. It's, I don't know if it's great TV. Um, but for some reason, here's what I'd love afterwards. Ginny goes, guys, okay, because I feel like we hit the jackpot. I've got one more trick up my sleeve.

1:11:23Ben Mandelker: I organized as a ride home. So you're thinking, oh, normally on a Real Housewives show, you're thinking it'll be some helicopter or something luxe. But for Gina, she got them an oversized shopping cart that they have to crawl into and ride back to Caesar's Palace. I'm not sure what the point of this vehicle is. It doesn't do anything differently than a double-decker bus or any sprinter van. It's just something shaped like a shopping cart. Well, finally, I understand how they fit a horse in a cart. So that's good. Wow, where's the horse? I finally did learn something this episode. Of course, Gina would be the one who could only afford a vehicle that doesn't have all its walls.

1:12:04Ben Mandelker: Yeah, Gina. She's like, all right, ladies, sit down. This is all right. This isn't moving. It's just a tiger that you put a nickel into, and it's vibrating me. Well, after we're done going to the moon on this special speed ship, we're going to get into Kartzilla. I mean, poor Heather. You can just imagine Heather being like, Oh, Kartzilla, this seems like fun. I often ride a Kartzilla to sevens of elevens. Okay, great. I love this. I'm a joiner Can we stop by the$30 store? I want to get something poor

1:12:50Ben Mandelker: Excuse me Does this cartzilla have another floor? Is there a Is there a dining room where there may be some hors d 'oeuvres laid out for us? No? Oh, okay Now we go to Caesars Everybody gets ready to go out and have fun and Carmella FaceTimes Danny and her kid has a towel wrapped around her head because she's sick, guys. She's not sick, by the way. Anybody who has ever helped raise a child or been a child and knows faking sick, this one is faking sick. She's like, oh, I've got a towel on my head, mom. Can I go to school at noon tomorrow? Because I'm basically sick still. She's like, okay, fine.

1:13:30I love you. We'll go to the mall.

1:13:33Ben Mandelker: Well, why would you go to the mall if you're basically sick. If you're basically sick, you're staying in bed. Man. That's right. That doesn't make sense. You don't avoid school because you're sick and then go to a public place instead. Yeah, to get everybody else sick. It's not even about that. It's just like if you don't have the stamina to go to school, then you don't have the stamina to go to the mall, okay? You're staying home and you're watching 3 o 'clock high on VHS. So we wind up now. We're going to watch Another World in Days of Our Lives in Santa Barbara. Like every poor sick child should be forced to do.

1:14:10Ben Mandelker: Yeah, you're going to watch daytime television. That was always the worst part. When you stayed home sick, you're like, yes, I get to stay home sick. And then all the TV actually sucks so much. You're like, oh, it's like Donahue. I stayed sick all the time just so I could watch all those shows. I mean, I know I leaned from Days of Our Lives back in those days. And Lisa Rinna, I used to actually watch that in live time, guys. Also, I refused to go to PE, which I've told you a million times. And that was right before lunch. So I would walk over to my grandma's house and watch Days of Our Lives in Another World for those two hours.

1:14:42So I was huge on daytime TV. I fucking loved it. So I was like, I had to know what happens with Marlena.

1:14:48Ben Mandelker: I would watch daytime TV, but I would really just flip through the channels waiting for like a shirtless guy to show up. I was like, is that one shirtless? No. Is that one shirtless? No. Back to this one. They shirtless yet? No. Yeah. You know what you do. It's like when you go shopping and you go to the underwear section just to see guys in their tight underwear. You just got to get what you get. Guys in their tight underwear. Yeah. And then I played in the demo, of course. So let's go to Nobu. Last dinner in Vegas. So they all show up and Vicky tells Carmella, like, I owe you a sincere apology.

1:15:22Ben Mandelker: And she's like, you know, I didn't mean to come off so strong. You've been through hurt. I've been through hurt. Your hurt is a little faker than my hurt, but that's okay. I don't trust a lot of people in my life, and it takes a lot, you know? And I verify and trust. I trust and verify. That's what I do. Yeah, I hate people like this who are like, you know, it just takes a lot. Like, you really have to work for my friendship. Yeah. Good luck with that. I don't need to do that. Just go away. Like, be nice or fucking go away. Work to be Vicky's friend. Who gives a fuck if you're Vicky's friend? Get the fuck out of here, cancer scammer.

1:15:59So back at the table, they're like, uh-oh, what's going on in this? Should we save it? She looks scared. Because Tamara was standing up there, too. And they're like, Tamara, get away from the table. We need to talk to you. Because they wanted them to have a private conversation. And then Vicky just keeps going on and on with this. It's not a bad apology. But then she tells us, she's like, yeah, basically the girls are making me apologize to this girl. So I'm doing it. Like, I don't get it. But whatever. I'll do it. but they're all making me do it.

1:16:29Ben Mandelker: Yeah, so it's just as insincere as we could have imagined, right? Yeah. She's like, I just want all those ladies to stop yapping in my ears. I'll apologize, and then let's see where it goes. She goes, well, I'm embarrassed that I would make you feel that way, and I've got to make it up to you, and I'm sorry. So Vicky, who's so concerned about people being fake, is the one who's actually being the fakest right now. Yeah. So then we go to dinner, everybody's eating, and Vicky announces that she apologized and Carmella's like, thank you because I really do love my kids, you know and then also I recognize in this guy's Danny, he's just trying so hard he's just doing such a good job he's taking the care of the kids and he's making a mistake the way I do so they don't miss my mistake I mean, it's just so sweet like, oh my god, that's so nice, and she's like maybe I do need to soften And, you know, infidelity, it hardens you with a person you love being vulnerable should be a beautiful thing.

1:17:27Ben Mandelker: And I look at it like the enemy because I can't protect myself if I'm vulnerable. I'm like, ditch him. Sorry. Ditch him and find someone else who will not cheat on you and won't tell little white lies all over the place. Well, do you think if you soften, you're doing it for him? Because if you soften, you're doing it for yourself. You know, I had to do that with Shane because I was so pissed at Shane and I had so much resentment. And we wouldn't talk for weeks and it was bad. And then he was overwhelmed with kids and all this stuff. And then I made the first move. You know what I mean? Now look how happy we are.

1:18:04Hmm. Yeah. The previews are like, I can't stand Shane. I'm leaving Shane. Fuck Shane.

1:18:13Ben Mandelker: Camilla's like, it's just hard to make the first move. He's like, yeah, it is because I'm probably like you. I would call myself a hard ass too. Cause I'm always intense. I've always been like that. You know me, Emily, quote unquote, orders DoorDash her daughter, intense Emily. But I do know that Shane would like it if I showed more gratitude and initiated more things. And I need to do that more. Yeah, hey, are you going to do Taco Tuesday? And they're like, what's that? Well, it's Tuesday and I've got a taco in my purse. Um, that's a syringe. Shut up. It's my lifestyle. Isn't she supposed to be doing like movie night or something after wife swap?

1:18:54Ben Mandelker: Wasn't that like the deal? Like the family gets together and watches a movie together. We eat at the same table. Well, Tamara had naked Tuesday with Eddie. So I thought that's what they were talking about. I don't remember what Emily's was. I don't remember either. All I do know is that I don't think that like the off the grid lady from Idaho was much of a help for poor Angie. That didn't work out so well, her advice. So Eddie is, we see like Eddie, a flashback to Tamara's Naked Tuesday or whatever. And we see Eddie saying, hey, all our kids are gone. Maybe our new hobby is walking around the house naked and seeing what happens.

1:19:37Naked Tuesday, bitch. Yeah. So basically Tamara's like, I'm not in the mood. I'm not the hardest thing in the world right now, guys. I don't know. I don't want to do testosterone pills, but, you know, I guess I gotta break out the lingerie and do something sexy. It's really hard in my age. I don't want to do it.

1:19:56Ben Mandelker: I think the secret is you have to schedule it. And so Sean goes, so you're saying, so do you just say tonight? Just no, no, no. I set up an iCal and I have an alarm and it says, do me at 8 p.m. Thank you. Then I put an apple in his mouth and say, good boy, Alfredo, now go away. did I say too much? Or, you know, and Shannon's like, what do you do? Just say tonight? We're doing it tonight? Well, sometimes Terry will say, hey, honey, it's been a minute. And I go, yeah. Or I'll say it to him. Or then when we're having sex, I say, Terry, it's been a minute. And then he climbs off me and walks away dejected.

1:20:44Ben Mandelker: I don't make plans for sex because it probably should, like, would get canceled because I'm like so busy. Like if I plan to have Tuesday at like four o 'clock and I'm not home by four, then like what's the point of planning it, right? Like how about Tuesday at 9 p.m. instead of 4 p.m.? She's like, I always initiate. He will never deny me, but I'm always initiating sex. And Heather's like, we know. We know. Stand down. Sorry, that's what I say to Terry when he tries to go off the schedule. But if you're not taking care of your bad, somebody else will. And my mama taught me. My mama taught me that.

1:21:16And you know, Mike works really hard, really long, and he's getting older, and so now I just have to say, take off your pants, just take them off. We're gonna do it. Who do I gotta whoop it up with, the woohoo? I don't know, you guys know the same, right? It's gonna be our t-shirt soon. Then we fuck, we fuck really hard. They're like, okay, all right. So then Tamara's like, Shannon, have your pleasure with yourself because we all know you're so alone. And so stand about it, and poor Shannon got nobody, nobody. It's always dark and alone in Shannon's world Are you too depressed? Do you masturbate Shannon?

1:21:50What's going on with people?

1:21:51Ben Mandelker: I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I do not masturbate, especially here being so close to an elevator. It's just not. It's just I would not like to talk about this. Thank you. Shannon, you got to put yourself out there because not everybody hates an alcoholic. Sometimes people like him. They even have meetings where they all go up. It's usually like singles meetings. You should probably go there and be like, hi, my name is Shannon. I'm desperate. I hear they have chips. Can I tell you something, though? Shannon, after knowing you for so many years, you have never been with anyone that deserves you.

1:22:32Ben Mandelker: They just can't drink up as much as you, ever. You have not found the love of your life, and you have not met the person yet. and you're such a special person and you deserve all of that. The only thing I worry about for you is that you always go, I'm okay by myself and I'm doing this. See, look at me being a good friend. I will stay in my room. Thank you in advance. You know, I am okay. I just love being alone. I love it. I love going to get dogs ice cream cones. Dropping them, having them fall all over the street. That's real fine. but you know i am starting to you know it's like the other day i said i don't have anybody to go home to like if i'm gonna need to complain about you guys there's nobody to listen to me so i am starting to feel lonely well you deserve to have a person to come home to bitch about all of this unfortunately you can't afford an alfredo so you know find a terry i was kind of thinking what about that twin from the hogan's family not Jason Bateman, the other one.

1:23:38Ben Mandelker: He's probably single. Should we get him for you? I don't even understand that proposition, but the girls are right. It's time for me to start dating. There have been quite a few occasions recently where I came home and I'm talking to the dogs. I need to get out there. So they're like, yeah, Tamara, you got to date again, okay? Get out there. Yeah, like, go ahead, Shannon. You can do it. And Tamara's like, Just say I'm open to the universe. Bring me a penis instead of a martini. Maybe it'll work like that. We've been in Vegas for too long. We gotta go home. Da-da-da-da-da-da. Da-da-da-da-da-da.

1:24:22Ben Mandelker: Da-da-da-da-da-da. See you next week, America. And that is it for Real Housewives of Owens County. Thank you for being with us. We will be back next week. Talk to you guys later. Bye, everyone. Bye. Watch what Crappens would like to thank its premium sponsors. Ain't no thing like Alison King. Our way is the Amber way. It's the Foster and the Furious. It's Amanda Foster. It's Always Automatic with Ashley Otto. Put your hands together for Carly Clapp. Get on the right foot with Chrissy Offutt. We never miss her call. It's Diane Call. Big yay. It's Emily Gauthier. Erin McNicholas. She don't miss no trickless.

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