#3526 RHOC S20E09 Part Two: As a Trash Thinketh

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1:58Ben Mandelker: Hello, and welcome to Watch What Crapins, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to talk about. This is part two of the recap. If you missed part one, go check out your podcast feed. It's right there. And without further ado, let's get right back into the recap. So Vicki and Tamra come now, and they're singing, I'm just overwhelmed. I mean, I would have done other things if I knew you were coming. I would have done. Troy, stop pumping that woman's leg. hey you know what um girls thank you for coming i just want to establish myself more um for my birthday that's my birthday wish and vicky's helping me with my finances and i put a lot of money into real for real and thank you all again for choosing not to support it i i think that's a great testament to your independence that you don't just do things for friends because they ask you to i thank you so i shut it down last year and i lost a lot of money a lot oh wow so much money.

2:54Ben Mandelker: Actually, I was, turns out I was$75 ,000 just short of keeping it in business. So that's too bad. Only had that$75 ,000 left. Wow. By the way, if I mentioned that I hate flying commercial, it's hilarious. I think I was telling you guys from my private, anyway, money, money, let's stop talking about money. What's your selfish wish, Shannon? Just be selfish for one. Well, I would like to be a mom. Maybe take my kids on a trip. Oh, okay. Well, maybe more affordably selfish. Just try that. Affordably selfish. Shannon says that her selfish wishes to take her kids on a trip, and Vicky goes, well, of course, but not first class.

3:39Ben Mandelker: We're only doing coach. Only coach. We already talked about that. Heather was clearly zoned out. Just sort of heard. She heard certain buzzwords and immediately she thought, oh, we're planning the cast trip. And so she hears, trip, and we're flying coach. She goes, what? Where are we going, coach? What? She goes from being like, look at me. I'm television's Heather Dubrow, enjoying a pizza with a friend in a small house. And to suddenly her eyes just turn black. We are not flying coach anywhere. Not you, Heather. Jeez. Yeah, not you, sweetie. Okay, it's all right. God, she's really sweating. Look at Heather It's about the most And we've seen that Of Heather in years And Heather's like Ugh Okay listen There were years We flew coach But now we've moved To the front It would be very difficult To go back I don't even like Flying commercial They're like putting Like a trauma blanket Around her Like patting down Her forehead It's okay Heather We're not flying coach You could be okay I just was It was so scary there For a moment I was there so Tamara's like well Shannon's been talking about moving to New York you gonna do that Shannon we're the tres amigas we can't do that if you're in New York I thought you guys broke up what the hell that show's still going on jeez no we're the tres amigas but we're working on being friends again so all three of us right oh really how's that going Tamara's like I thought we were and Emily says well Shannon's gonna have lunch with Tamara everybody and we see a flashback to Carmella's house where basically Tamara's like, hey, let's get lunch.

5:19Ben Mandelker: And Tamara's like, yeah, I'm having so much fun with you and I think that we should have cocktails. Just have fun, bitch. Yeah, she's telling us, I don't know. I just don't care why Shannon just can't get over me. You know, Shannon just can't forgive me for whatever reason. I don't even know what it is. It's so crazy. And then they show her like, you drunk, stupid sting of sly after nobody likes you. What, did I drive into a house or something? I drive into a house like yeee. No, Shannon and I had a great time in Vegas. No, she didn't crash into any single building. And I just feel like we're progressing and said like, we don't have to talk about the past, bitch.

5:56Ben Mandelker: We can just talk and have fun like our times. And by me saying we don't have to talk about the past, I will be bringing up the past later in this episode. Thank you, bitch. Oh, I don't know. I'll have to think about that one. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Now it's time to blow out candles. I love candles. Okay, here we go. Here we go.

6:17Why aren't they going out? Are these trick candles?

6:23Ben Mandelker: It's disgusting. Meanwhile, Heather's in the corner doing the thing with her finger. I'll never tell. What happened to Heather? She's still going through it without coach scaring.

6:36Now it's family time at Jen's house. And Ryan's walking around with a cane. And she's like, oh, wow. Maybe I need to ask Vicky if I can power a scooter for Ryan.

6:48Ben Mandelker: He had knee surgery. Parallels. Because he used to play soccer. And Grayson and Dawson are... Holy moly, when they showed that picture of Ryan playing soccer when he was younger. First of all, he looked 10 years older in the picture where he was young than he does now. Somehow. and god bless it that man was fine i don't think ryan is fine i hate to say it i think ryan's really hot i hate he is he's still hot but the picture of him when he was younger looking older somehow i mean he was been hot hot guy yeah yeah all you know between between heather amin and jen they uh they definitely had some they've had some fun with this guy and uh he's had a lot of fun with a lot of people so um what i'm trying to say is he's hot so he's had a lot of partners i'm sure and god bless it so uh dawson is back from the marines so uh for a little bit and um and then uh this is actually just like a nice scene with the sun gotta be honest like low-key low-key to be honest like it's crazy like low-key being in the marines low-key because like if you're having a low-key bad day, one of the guys are like low-key tell you gotta be honest, bro.

8:10It's a black day. Gotta be honest. Low-key. Learned all those words in the military. Thanks for having me back, Mom.

8:19Ben Mandelker: So basically it's a scene where Jen is trying to ask Grayson why he's about opening up and he says he just doesn't really like opening up to his mom because it's awkward for him and then he doesn't have that connection with the dad. Dawson has conversations with the dad, but Grayson doesn't. And Grayson is like, yeah, this is why I miss having a therapist because that was the easiest person to talk to. And I'm like, can someone get this kid a therapist? What happened to his therapist? Can you guys pony up some, instead of going to Vegas, give him a freaking therapist? I mean, it's like not even a cry for help is literally like a formal request.

8:58Ben Mandelker: He's like, I would like some mental health resources, please. and John's like, oh wow, okay, let me go inside and check in on some Ritz crackers. Okay, see you later. Yeah, I mean look, Grayson has an emotional connection. Well, he's got a connection. Is there a connection with Rod Stewart? And is Rod Stewart telling you how to comb your hair? Like what? He's forever young. Cut that connection off. He's forever young. He's forever young. So they have a very emotional scene talking about kids and that's just so great my boys both home and then the guys uh the kids talk amongst themselves and um basically like the older brother dawson's kind of more of it no basically dawson's just like listen bro don't keep your emotions bottle up inside it's good to talk i love talking about how i feel it's like very important for me it's like low-key important high key it's like loki yeah she says that he says it's loki important to talk about your emotions and he says 30 times yeah he loki loves saying it so then we go to um the surf and sand hotel uh for the scene that everyone was excited for it's tamara and eddie's romantic night of seduction featuring a flashback to their other night of seduction many years drown me in the surf and kick sand in my eyes restaurant.

10:26No one asked for this. No one needs this scene. Okay? How many times are you guys going to do this scene before you're going to understand that nobody wants this? So this is like a We need to get our stuff back to you. We're not even fucking emotional. Not even one time a week. I mean, we need to get in that hotel and I'm dressed sexy in lingerie. Look, I'm wearing it. I'm just wearing lingerie and in this jacket. He's like, we're in a restaurant, babe. Put on your jacket. She's like, yeah. So sexy. When I got to the room, me and Eddie, we're going to have sex. It's crazy. You guys want to watch us have sex?

10:59I'm going to crawl on the ground and bark like a dog. When she arrives, she goes, hello.

11:06Ben Mandelker: I have a room reserved under the name Juicy. The woman had to go, okay, Miss Juicy. We'll go ahead and check on that. I'm sure it's not the first time the Serpent Sand of Laguna Beach has had requests like this. but yeah um they have this awkward kind of date moment and uh tamra reveals that um this rolls up with eddie and which is i think probably makes him happy because i think that's what he voted for um and she says there's a wrap and it's starting to scare me because we got into a fight about six months ago we're in big bear and the entire trip we're just arguing about stupid things, not hot things like me.

11:50Ben Mandelker: But then we were driving home and he just looked at me and he goes, I think it's time to file for divorce. And that scared me. Scared me in a hot way. It scared my heart. And now you're muted, Ryan. Okay, we're back. So where were we? My microphone revolted against this Tamara scene. Where we were was just Tamara telling the story about how basically Eddie asked for a divorce on the way back from Big Bear after a big fight. But they still somehow are back together. And then, so that's why she's having a sexy scene, because she feels like if they can get their love life back together, then everything will be fixed.

12:32Yeah, I mean, okay. At least they're not going to try and have a baby or something, because that's normally how I would suggest fixing it. You know, when my friends are like, I just don't know if this is going to work. I say, have a baby! Just have a baby!

12:46Ben Mandelker: Well, I think the real way to fix it is just to renew your wedding house. I think that's pretty much. Yeah, that always works on Bravo. Do you remember the time? Well, Tamara's already done those things. She didn't have a baby, but she got that fake baby. Remember when she's like, I'm going to have a real looking baby. And there's my plan. I've got a baby now. Hilarious. So, yeah, she and Eddie do a lot of, you know, sex stuff. I will say she looks amazing. Whatever she does to keep looking so great is admirable. I will never do any of those things. But whatever she does, we all saw it. We all witnessed it.

13:23Ben Mandelker: It's like when she turned herself for three days into that stupid cartoon frog. Her face was green and burnt off. But then she emerged beautiful. It works. Whatever she's getting works. And she even got a belly button put back on. because remember there was like one of the things online a few years ago was when she got her whatever she's had so much done you know she's on bravo but she was missing a belly button and people are like where's your belly button don't bitch okay and she got one i think put in because i saw one today and only on real housewives did you notice things like that i was like wow tamra on a belly button this is so cool but congratulations love you well the long and the short of it is that they retire up to their bedroom after after terma opens up her coat and she is just like in lingerie in the middle it's like like 5 p.m happy hour um and so they go up to the room and they like in a brightly lit room that resembled like a hyatt house and um they're playing like sexy Jenga and first he has to like trace her body with his like over at the clothes I don't know he's like just touching her body and putting his finger into the lingerie and then he has to spank her it's just it was like you could feel the stagnant air in the room it was just so deeply unsexy and I was like please please take us away from here thank you yeah take me away I look I'm gonna tell these two the same thing I tell literally everybody I mean I don't need to see you fuck your husband That's all.

14:59It's a simple request. But I'm glad you guys are happy. Okay, do it off camera. It's time for a commercial. It's time for a Crappens commercial. There is such a better way to spend your time than doom scrolling or watching terrible TV. Get some stories in your life, okay? Audible is perfect for that. I use it while I'm cleaning the house, while I'm running errands. I listen to books all day, every day with Audible.

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17:30This is me, Shannon Bedore. I just wanted you to know I completely, completely appreciate your invitation to get together tomorrow, but it's Vicki's birthday and, you know, it's weird to not invite her on her birthday. and I just would feel weird. I would love it if we could invite Vicky. Okay? Can all three of us come?

17:52Ben Mandelker: I mean, that's a totally different vibe. It's like, you know, I understand that. I am just a little bit uncomfortable. I'm just not comfortable with having a one-on-one and potentially going deep with you, and I just feel like the trajectory we're on, we need to have Vicky. I think everyone knows that Vicky is always a safe person to add to any conversation. So are you up for it?

18:20But good for Shannon because this is what Shannon knows by now that what she knows what Tamara does She does it season after season. I don't know what Shannon really thinks she's going to accomplish, because eventually you're going to have to become friends with her anyway, but... Yeah.

18:49Ben Mandelker: But... I mean, it is also Vicky's birthday. I think it is the right thing to invite Vicky. But I think maybe, like... Well, I mean, Shannon obviously just does not want to have lunch with Tamara 101. And she shouldn't have agreed with it in the first place. That's the thing. If you agreed to it, then you should follow through with it. And like, maybe you could have said... Did she know? I mean, she kind of technically agreed to it, but that was under duress because Tamara was just like, yeah, we're going to have lunch. Me and Shannon are just going to hang out. Me and Shannon are going to go to lunch.

19:19Can we get lunch tomorrow? We're going to go to lunch, right? It's kind of, it's duress. It's lunch under duress.

19:25Ben Mandelker: Well, also, like, Tamara, if she's serious about venting this friendship, she should respect what Shannon wants. And just, like, just take it slow. If she's not ready, then be happy just to have the three of them, you know? So she should also just cool her jets a little bit. So they agree that they're going to have a Trace Amiga's launch instead. So now we are at Javier's, home of Alfredo. So, hello everyone. Television's Heather Dubrow has arrived with Emily and Jen. Last night, we were at the iHeart Awards with Annabelle. And I mean, she is just so beautiful. She looks like she's 18. Now could someone please tell me Who is Annabelle anyway?

20:09Anyone? We see pictures of Annabelle Looking like a little adult And then we go to another restaurant This one is called Treehouse The Tree's Amiga's house Which there's only going to be two of us Because Tamara can't come So she tells Vicky That Tamara's probably pissed Because she called her and told her She's not ready to do one-on-ones and stuff. And Vicky's like, well, I don't think you need to do one-on-one. What is behind me? What is that? Oh, it's my gift. I love gifts. I love gifts. Bring them on. Bring them on. Bring me gifts. Is it a ring? Is it a ring? Could you hang it from that tree so it's kind of dangling over my head?

20:48That's how I like it.

20:50Ben Mandelker: Treehouse. So we see Tamara get out of her car, and she goes, she's sashaying, like, here comes a hot batch, batch. And we're like, okay, it's race, Amiga's lunch is on. But guess what? It's a silence of the lambs fake out because she is not at the address. We expect she's at Javier's. She has ditched the trace Amigas. Yeah. She's like, you better put some lotion on it, bitch. And Vicky and Shannon are cheersing. And Vicky's like, well, cheers to me because it's my birthday. Then we go back to Javier's and Heather is like, well, we were talking about last night, Tamara. I was like, yeah, I had fun.

21:32But then me and Shannon were supposed to do one-on-one. Then I got a FaceTime call of me, and she won't forgive me. So guess what? I didn't even show up to the lunch for Vicky's birthday. So what do you think about that? But don't worry, I sent the flowers. I'm a good person. I sent some flowers. She pulled a Porsche.

21:50Ben Mandelker: Yeah. Yeah, she did. So, and also, also Elisa Vanderpump to Adrian Maloof by sending the world's worst floral arrangement to celebrate the Maloof hoof. So, I'll always remember that weird mounded thing. So Heather's like, wait a minute. Did you tell them you were not coming? No. So they thought you were coming to lunch? Is that, is that right now? During this lunch at Javier's? And she's like, yeah. So then we go over to the treehouse And the flowers arrive And Shannon already knows She's like, uh-oh Because Vicky's like, oh, this is nice flowers And Shannon's like, uh-uh Oh, this isn't good This isn't good Okay, let me read it out I, that, yeah That said that I never had I wished I could be There But I don't I don't want Shannon to be uncomfortable.

22:55Oh my God. For Christ's sake, could you just have the waiter come read it?

22:59Ben Mandelker: It's this passive aggressive ass note. That's like, I wish I could be there. I don't want to make Shannon uncomfortable. I thought we were moving forward, but not everyone's there yet. So I'll just keep choosing growth by sending a passive aggressive bouquet in my place. Well, what does Shannon think is going to happen? Sometimes you just have to say, okay, yay, we're friends again. Yay, we're friends again. And just fake it until filming's done. You don't want Tamara as your enemy. Come on. Haven't you had enough of that for the past two years? Like, just placate. Placate. And Tamara said that she ended the note by saying, hope you whip it up today, Sand.

23:39Ben Mandelker: Tamara grudge.

23:46Oh, wait, Tamara grudge? Oh, that's funny because it sounds like Tamra Judge, but grudge, I think that's when you don't like somebody and you hold a – did you do that on purpose? That is so clever, Tamra. Thank you so much, Tamra. That is so funny. That's so funny.

24:04Ben Mandelker: If that was a typo, that was a brilliant typo. Heather's like – because Jen's like, you know, it was good until the Tamra grudge part. And Heather goes, by the way, it wasn't good until that. I love Jen thinking saying it was good it was bad out of the gate it was so cut fitnessy right from the jump and the fact that Jen's like oh you were doing so well until you said Tamra Grudge because that wasn't your last name why did you not use your real last name yeah so Shannon's like wow oh that is on your birthday oh that is just so rude so Vicky's like you know what She shouldn't be talking about Michael and I, I'll tell you that.

24:46Yeah, she doesn't even know you and Michael, and that's the crazy part. She's been talking about your relationship. Well, what Gina told me that Tamara said was that he gave me a ring, but he took back the ring. What? What? Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

25:03Ben Mandelker: That's absolutely crazy. And two days earlier, Gina is talking to Vicky, and she goes, Tamra had this whole story Had this whole theory that he like Did propose to you He never did But then like you guys got into like a bad fight And then you guys broke up And then he like took the ring back And made me feel bad Those are all lies Listen would a man who doesn't love me Blow on my steak until it's cool enough For me to eat There taste just missed

25:35Ben Mandelker: So Shia's like well You guys aren't even having any issues Why would she even make something up Well We'll have issues now We'll have it now because he does not want to be on TV Mike is not putting up with this This is a different guy than Dom Brooks is Steve This guy will say see you later end your stupid friendships I'm out I'm out I'm leaving So great thank you for making my boyfriend break up with me Thanks thanks a lot Vicky if you can't Tamara's an asshole okay She shouldn't be saying all of them Saying all of this stuff is not cool That said, you're a TV Person, you've been trying to get back on TV For years, and you were on TV For decades So what is this guy Complaining?

26:20Yeah

26:22Ben Mandelker: So Vicky's basically like No, he never proposed to me And no, he never took the ring back or even gave it to me Mike doesn't like drama, so I'm not gonna Be the one that shares my relationship with anybody Anymore, I did it in the past and it didn't turn out Well, I'm over it, okay I'm not happy right now. I'm not going tomorrow. I'm not. She's like, oh, come on. You're going to go. You're going to come tomorrow. I mean, who doesn't want to go sit in the field with a psychic that Jen found? Surely she's going to have really good extensions. We have that to look forward to. Okay, I'll cut. Commercials.

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28:12So then we go back to Jen and she's like, well, I hope tomorrow's fun because, you know, someone's going to come to a reading for us. And, you know, an energetic reading, not a regular reading. We just saw how that went with Vicki. I'm sure that wasn't good. But if you're open to it, I'm going to wear a sundress. So you guys can wear sundresses too. It's going to be so fun. Sundresses are a dress that you can wear at night, but they're better to wear in the sun. I hope you can. You know, this is like Jen's personal calendar.

28:37Ben Mandelker: It's like Saturday. Wear a sundress. She's like looking forward to it all day. Wearing a sundress on Saturday. So Heather's like, oh, how fun. You know, I was with Carmela, and I went to her office in Corona Del Mar, which is not where they make the beer. So I had sent her an apartment that Max looked at, and so she showed it to me, and we took a little virtual tour. It was adorable. I am, I suppose, a woman of the people now. We even got Za. Ah, you're becoming really close with Carmella, Heather. Well, I mean, I don't feel like you're becoming close with Carmella. No, I do like her. I do like Carmella.

29:23You don't like Carmella. I do. I do like her. Let's be honest, Heather. I've had conversations with Gina, and Gina shared that you said not great things about Carmella. So just admit to what Gina said.

29:38Ben Mandelker: Heather goes, well, tell me what it is. Well, I'll tell you what they told me. I heard that you think she's trashy and she doesn't belong in this friend group and that you actually wish she wasn't even in the friend group, which I'll be honest, Heather. Now I'm like, what the hell? Yeah, when Emily told me that Heather was calling Carmella trash, I'm like, does that mean she's calling me trash? I mean. Yes. Yes. Her whole season, your whole first season with them calling you trash. You've been here before. you've been here. So Heather's like, oh, okay. Well, did I prejudge her? Yes. And I feel bad about that.

30:22And she's been incredibly nice. Okay? She's been very nice. And we're forming a very nice friendship. So I feel really bad about that.

30:31Ben Mandelker: Hey, you're not allowed to say Gina's line. You're such a bitch. Why do you always steal people's lines? You know what? Well, when Carmella first came around, there was information that there was a restraining order, and she kicked some girl in a bar or something. And I thought, as an adult, doing stuff like that is trashy. But that was just a knee-jerk reaction. What? It was a knee-jerk retraction. I don't know. You know what I'm trying to say. It's trash. She's trash. Look, I called her trash only because she had many trashy elements to her past. But now that I've gotten to know her, she is trash.

31:18Ben Mandelker: But like Oscar the Grouch, we can grow to love trash. And that is okay. She's more the cardboard container trash and less of the random refuse trash. They're different cats

31:38Ben Mandelker: She's like compost Yes, does she have spiritual worms Crawling through her? Perhaps But is she good for the soil? Also, yes What I'm trying to say is She's trash, but special trash The kind of trash that just turns into dirt Yeah, but it's the extremes It's like you're very opinionated But then you ask her to be involved in real estate transactions You know what I mean? But she lives down there. She knows the area. Listen, if you're going to ask a wadded up Kleenex to show you to a used paper towel, that's how you're going to find the used paper towel. You need to ask trash where trash. You guys are talking about this too much.

32:22I just want to stop talking about it.

32:24Ben Mandelker: I just think it's very irritating for the rest of us who know what you've said, and you're looking at me like I'm all out of line. What I'm saying is absolutely accurate, though. So Heather goes, well, what do you want me to say? Which I love that she says stuff like that. Like, what do you want me to do, you fucking bitch? This is off camera. She's like, I just said I agree. I prejudged the girl. I feel bad about it. Hashtag Gina. And I've gotten to know her and I like her. What do you want me to do, you non-televised moron? Well, I'm glad she's on Petitents with Carmella. This is so funny. Well, now that we're not Now we're not going to be on good terms Because now I have to go tell Carmela I called her trash So thank you, everybody Of course I'm going to tell her I'm not going to let you guys have a big scene about this So, great Okay, so now we go to the park For Jen's garden party And this intuitive comes Lisa The intuitive reader Yeah And Jen's known Lisa for a long time and she trusts her a lot.

33:33And so Lisa's like,

33:35Ben Mandelker: okay, so today we're going to do a one-word prompt, which is going to help them create some clarity in their life and connection because that's the power of saying one word. Okay. And especially if their word is connection, then they'll really feel the connection. You see what I'm saying? Are you following Jen? Jen, are you with me? Are you with me, Jen? So people are arriving. Here's my word. Can you think of what I'm saying? Thank you so much. Just told me. So the first batch of people, Emily and Vicky are there. And Emily's like, oh, did you see Mike on your birthday? Was he mean to you? I mean, Emily's like fishing for gossip here.

34:11Ben Mandelker: Vicky knows it. She's like, yeah, we went to dinner. Oh, where'd you guys go? We went to Fleming's. Really? Were you allowed to order what you wanted? Tell me everything. But Carmela arrives and bails Vicky out. With gift bags. Oh, Carmela. She's in a hole now She's always got to give the gifts Yeah Yes So Vicky's like That better be presents For Shannon and I Oh look at us Just being girlfriends You buy expensive gifts I'm going to be very nice to you today Very nice She's like Yeah You know that I got gifts So Shannon comes last And she's wearing a polka dot dress And she's just stopping and posing In this like pretty woman polka dot dress Big hat Yeah Big floppy hat Big floppy striped hat She looks crazy And Tamara's like, she's got straps.

34:59Ben Mandelker: She's got polka dots. She's got salads. And it's awkward, Heather. And I goes, why? Because I didn't show up yesterday. And I goes, oh, right. I forgot. I was so busy, preoccupied by the fact that you've ambushed me about this freaking Carmela thing that I forgot that you actually started your own bullshit yourself yesterday. Okay, everybody. So Lisa's going to take us through a spiritual exercise. Lisa, thank you so much. Do you want to explain? She's like, yeah, let me explain. I also have notebooks, too. Okay, you all get a notebook. Okay? And they're like, oh, great. And he goes, what is this?

35:34Homework? So she's like, okay, I'm Lisa. You guys can call me whatever you want. You can call me a psychic. You can call me a medium. You can call me an energy. You can call me, I mean, I don't know. Dog psychic. I do it all. I do it all. I'm a bitch. I'm a lover.

35:50Ben Mandelker: I'm a sister. I'm a mother. I'm a sinner. I'm a saint. I will not be attained I don't know It rhymed It did rhyme I need more of a specific kind of psychic I don't want someone who's like I'm a medium, I'm a psychic I'm an advisor I'm a this, I'm a that You know what, specialize I don't need the global cuisining of psychics Yeah So She's going to give a prompt They're going to close their eyes and connect with themselves and they're going to write down what the universe is telling them. So in Gina's head, her eyes are closed and inside her head we hear her saying, Today I'm choosing peace. Which is a lie.

36:38Ben Mandelker: She never does. And then Jen's saying, Don't be fearless. You can do it. Do it. This part was cracking me up. You just hear all of their inner thoughts. And Shannon's like, Does my hair look like shit after wearing a hat? I shouldn't have worn a hat today. Why did I wear a hat? Vicky's like you're boring I'm bored I'm bored Heather's was the best we just cussed to Heather like deep breathing and she goes I can't tell if I'm hot or cold and then Emily is like vacation Greece Amalfi Coast yacht which is supposed to be funny but I didn't laugh so Lisa's like okay you gotta sit with it i got nothing it's like okay well how about um do you have a feeling i have two but i can't decide between them hot or cold so they're talking about whether or not they believe in psychics and vicky of course vicky and tam are both like nah this is bullshit this is stupid and they don't even try to pretend with the lady i love when they come at him it's like what are you thinking it's stupid that's what i'm thinking.

37:50Get it live. Your tracks are terrible. I can see your tracks. That's what I'm thinking.

37:59Ben Mandelker: All right. Well, what about, so Jen, why don't you tell us what your word is? And so Jen's like, okay, sure. So the universe told me that the word is fearless. Did I get that right? Lisa might got that right. What happens if I got it wrong? I'm a little scared about this and then lisa is she's like okay um why do you think the universe gave you that word i don't know i don't know i'm afraid of asking okay well you learned nothing well i wrote stop worrying it's literally consuming me worrying is wasted energy there i just thought of my family so i wrote down family and then i thought i could use another sign that says family because sometimes That's my family.

38:45He comes into the family room, and they're like, is this the kitchen? And I'm like, does it say kitchen? Oh, my God.

38:52Ben Mandelker: Dita, I'm sorry to tell you that the word you actually wrote down is welcome. Oh, my God. Thank God. I need another one. I wrote down guilt because as a mom, I operate in the land of always feeling guilty because my kids are fucking torturers. Okay. Well, I've got some really good news for you. Your kids are actually doing better because they don't need you to be there with them all the time. Oh really? That's not what my phone says It's going off all the goddamn time Fucking Luke Okay well They're just becoming more independent Tamara does anything come to you? My word is slow down Okay well that's two words But we'll accept it Who's slowing down?

39:37I don't want to slow down That's ridiculous Heather your turn I wrote confident And I wrote it because it's really important for me to be confident about friendships. You know, when things come up, you can deal with them and move on. I mean, listen, I want people to be confident enough that if somebody else offhandedly says that they're trash, they can get over it.

40:06Ben Mandelker: Isn't it great to be confident? Let's just say that word 50 times. okay and then i'm gonna have a conversation with carmella so um yeah so basically uh then gina's like i'm like really very irritated that heather is using carmella as her realtor and honestly that she just hasn't even said anything to me about it but fancy pants has bigger fish to fry today you know what at least she has a fish to fry okay you are you are just like getting tin cans and putting them on a grill on the season so please so um carmella's word is fear um which i think somebody took well jen was fearless so carmella just shortened it and called it a day and then um jen is like okay well does anybody have any questions for Lisa?

41:01And Gina's like, I would like a snack. That would be good. Shannon, did you happen to bring any of that pizza in your purse? Like, I'm really hungry.

41:09Ben Mandelker: Do you mean za? So then, uh, so Heather pulls Carmella to have a talk, and, um, so Heather's like, thank you, Carmella, for talking to me in the middle of this birdwatching field. First of all, because there's all these birdwatchers that are walking around them, like, they're they're like drifting through the scene and you know they don't watch Real Housewives, they have no idea what's going on so it's like wow, this bird watching is nuts isn't it? We call it poor watching fascinating keep your mask on I went to the Groundlings last night to prepare for this and they said the speech you gave Shannon and the speech you gave Taylor Armstrong do the opposite of that, so here goes anyway thanks for coming to talk to me first of all I really like you.

42:01Ben Mandelker: I think you're a fantastic girl. I really like our friendship. Are you suspicious yet? Good. Because I fucked up a few weeks ago. Other me, take it from here. I owe you an apology. I was so judgy. I didn't feel like you belonged in our group. And I said some shitty things. And I used the word trashy. This was a great talk. kind of like those geez heather well she kind of laughs she kind of has to laugh because what the fuck heather just lays it all out there and i use the word trash she's like well when i heard you know i heard about a restraining order and i mean she goes well in fairness i was a kid when that happened i was 20 you don't owe me an explanation i owe you an explanation i can't even tell you i'm so truly sorry that you used to be trashy.

43:02Ben Mandelker: As someone who lives next to Drake, let me be the first one to tell you, you can always call me on my hotline bling. Okay? I accept calls for everyone. Trashy or not. She's like, well, I mean, I always feel like I've been judged, but I've been judged for a lifetime. It sucks to hear that you're trash, but I mean, I guess it was nice of her to have a talk with me about it. She's like, good, good, great, great, great monologue you just gave the camera. This was fun. Okay, so it is not Wednesday, which means that you are not being picked up today. And I've already spent my allotted time with you.

43:44Ben Mandelker: I have a question. If you were to perhaps eat too much, would they have to call for bulk pickup? I'm just curious. I just want to know what it's like to be trash so Carmella ends up by saying she's not mad and so everybody else is of course watching this and trying to see if they're fighting or Carmella's happy and Tamara's like God knows what she said Heather did she take the trash out I give Heather credit now that she wanted to address it you know because Carmella doesn't deserve those things being said about her and emily's like well i'll tell you what's going to change she's not going to tell us anything anymore she'll just tell terry and it'll end there the buck stops at terry i'm like yeah because you weaponize totally an untrustworthy friend and you're not somebody that anybody can speak around emily so yeah and also i would doubt that she does do that because she's still talking to your ass after all of these years well i guess she didn't tell emily that she told gina but still so they all sit down for lunch and Tamara by the way if you think the situation with Heather and Carmela is dead it's not because you know that Gina and Heather are Gina and Emily are going to be like I just think it's like Van that she called you trash and like if you really think about it like it's like just not cool that she just gets away with it like the simple like oops I'm sorry you know they're going to really like because they're not going to be happy that Carmela is like chill with that with that with Heather's apology yeah so now we move on to vicky so wow that's so great happy birthday vicky happy birthday what'd you do for your birthday with your boyfriend she's like oh we were in huntington we went to this hotel i was looking forward to having you there tamra and she's like uh well i don't know you know but i was gonna come but she was gonna feel uncomfortable about me and i just wanted to make sure that shannon was gonna to be okay.

45:45Oh, well, oh, well. It's important for me to be honest, Tamara. And I am just not there. And Emily's like, well, were you uncomfortable when you helped set up for a party? She goes, well, I actually, yes, I was uncomfortable. And I said even going in, I am very uncomfortable.

46:05Ben Mandelker: So, yes, I'm consistent. I said, just focus on the balloons and just put the balloons up. And if she asks you any questions, just blow on the noisemakers. And that's what I did for 10 minutes, just blowing out the noisemakers. Oh, is that why you did that? I was so confused. I thought, what do you think I'm going to do, Shannon? Why are you so scared? I spent 10 years since your best friend. Yeah, but then, remember, you ended that because you were telling everyone that Shannon is pathetic and miserable and wouldn't stop calling you wasted in the middle of the night and crying about her divorce.

46:34And you were sick of hearing of it. So... Whoops. I don't know. I don't know, Tamara.

46:44Ben Mandelker: so tamra is like you were talking behind my back and because now tamra's saying that shannon started the the divide which is funny because it was i believe it was because when shannon got her dui tamra was hounding her for it and ridiculing her yeah so tamra even before that it all started because tamra well who knows where it all started the origins like crazy but yeah it goes back years and years but the most recent huge fight between shannon and tamra i remember starting because tamra got her podcast and became friends with teddy and then quit doing the tres amigos because i don't know it's embarrassing probably and they were mad that she was focusing on this new friend project instead of being in their tres amigos project and then it all started

47:34Ben Mandelker: so then um if you want to if you want to go back in the past i could list a hundred things that you've done. It's like, no, no, we're going to go forward. Okay, going back is not going to fix it. Shannon's like, but she keeps bringing it up. And then suddenly Shannon just starts to cough. She's like, but she starts being... Yeah, but you didn't want to go to lunch with me, and I had no intention of talking about the past. Oh, well, I'm...

48:08And now they're trying to keep this fight going, but Shannon can't stop sneezing and coughing. She's like covering her face and like getting up and waving her arms. Yeah, but how could you treat me like that, Shannon? I'm bleeding.

48:25Ben Mandelker: And they're like, and they just start cracking up and just sneezing and coughing and everything. She's like, what am I supposed to do? What am I supposed to do? They're like, of course, now I'm coughing because I have them getting over a cold. So Emily's like, is it the feathers? is it the feathers? And she was like, no, I'm just, I must be allergic to the toxins in this croissant. Why did you have to put it into a box? You know, boxes are the most unsafe thing in the world. Cardboard, we're not supposed to be around cardboard as humans. There is gluten in the air. There is gluten in the air. So Emily is like, okay, God, please tell me she's not sneezing all over the dessert over there.

49:04It's disgusting. So Emily tells Tamara, like, you say you're ready to move forward, but you know you bring up a lot of shit tamra it's like you're holding she's like i'm not holding the grudge but i'm not i mean i just said them cards because it rhymes with my name oh my god you know what i just realized grudge rhymes with judge which is your last name that is so funny

49:26Ben Mandelker: tamra that is so good that is like a very funny joke that you've done that's so funny At you! At you!

49:40Ben Mandelker: Shannon, do you think the reason why you can't get forward is because the last thing that happened was that you and Tamra were at the Quiet Woman and that you were not invited? Is that what it was? Yeah, but it's in the back of my head. Yes, that is kind of in the back of my head. Oh, Jesus. Oh, God, I'm going to see. And so Carmela's like, maybe she just needs time. I'm acknowledging how kind Tamara's been to me, but I need baby steps. Baby steps, Tamara. Okay, baby.

50:13Ben Mandelker: So Jen's like, okay, well, then Tamara's going to take a step back. Okay? That's what you'll do. The ball's in your court. Well, I'm here for you. If you want my friendship, you just let me know when. And until then, I'll be sending pass for the rest of your kids. Well, I appreciate you. I do not want to hurt you So they agreed to just let it go They don't have like a huge fight about it Oh now we move on to Vicky I said we moved on to Vicky before but it was Shannon's turn So now it's Vicky's turn Yes so Gina's like It's so weird Victoria That you're not talking to Tamara about what I told you about Mike Like it's crazy Like I really made an effort to start some shit You guys aren't even going to fiend about it Yeah Like that's crazy Do you want to fight now?

50:59Ben Mandelker: I said, wait, what happened? Well, I told camera that Mike proposed and then took back the ring because it didn't happen. You're so bad at this. You can't even start shit properly anymore, so now you have to bring up that you started shit. I know. You're mad that they won't talk. It's just so bad. Come on, man. Vicky's like, look, if I get engaged with Mike, it's going to be a joint decision and we're just going to get eloped. Okay, we don't want to do a whole big thing. And Jen's like, what? And then she goes, yeah, I'm not going to do what you guys are doing, Jen. Okay, we're going to get married right away.

51:32Ben Mandelker: Jen's like, what? It's me? What the hell did I do? Why am I in this? I'm not going to do some sort of stupid wedding or stupid prolonged thing, like on a beach with some bikini slut thing. Like this one would. What? Huh? Me? What? Huh? Yeah, so why are you yelling at me? Because I heard your voice. I heard your voice. It's like, well, geez. And Heather goes, well, what's so wrong with how Jen's doing it? And Jen's like, wow, so your man sits on a ring for a year and doesn't give it to you and that's better? He's like, none of your business! Shut the fuck up, Jen! I did like Jen saying, well, I have a ring.

52:10Ben Mandelker: It's actually really beautiful and I love wearing it and I don't have to be a good girl to get it. And I don't know, maybe I can get an insurance policy from you, Vicky, for the rock that I actually have. Ew. So Tamara's like, wait, so you gotta be good for 90 days? Well, he said 90 days. He was laughing about it. It was a joke, Tamara. Come on. It was just a joke. Well, I always feel like when someone jokes, there's a little bit of truth underneath it. Well, then you better re-examine what the king of snark has to say. We're not ready to talk about Mike. We're not talking about Mike anymore, because Mike says we're going to be talking about it on the TV.

52:45We're not going to do it. You're not going to break up my relationship, okay? Just because you want to talk about something on TV. It's not going to happen, so that's it. Everything's great with Mike. Thank you.

52:54Ben Mandelker: So Vicky is like We're not ready to be married I said why would he do this And I thought well I don't know Maybe he gave her the ring and they got into a fight I don't know something like that No she said she never saw The ring she doesn't even know It could be an urban legend Like Wendy Malick's career So Vicky is She took a bath and was missing A kidney after Urban legend And so Vicky's like No I don't want to talk about this Okay he didn't hold anything over my head I'd never seen it It's like no I don't care about the ring He's going to lose his shit if this comes on TV He's going to lose his shit But why?

53:39Ben Mandelker: What's the big deal? He'll be a celebrity like Terry Every time I talk Heather You interrupt me She's like I haven't even said anything This is the first time I'm interjecting into the conversation, Vicky, do not talk to me like that. You're screaming at her for no reason, stupid Vicky. I was cracking up with this. And so, well, because Heather just says it in that way. This is the first time I'm interjecting into the conversation. So Heather's like, you, oh, I love, I do love when Heather starts off by, when she starts to say you in that way, like the you is going down a slide on a playground.

54:20Ben Mandelker: You just told me I'm interrupting you. So let me finish this sentence. I was going to say something nice. I was going to say that we all like him. It was lovely spending time with him. But now I will not say something nice. I don't care. I don't even care, Heather. I don't care. At one point, Heather, like, leans her whole body back in a straight line, but her head stays right here. She's like. I know. I love when she does that. Excuse me.

54:53she's just very rude very very rude I'm not even saying anything bad Vicky which is weird for you because you're with a monster of man who's probably mistreating me and treating me terribly and your relationship's horrible that's not what I'm saying marriage is a big deal you know at my age I'm not doing it unless I have zero red flags which is why I've talked about wanting to get a ring for this man since the first episode of the season like Vicky you remember everything that you've said up until now, right? But nice trying to cover. She's like, what? When I'm thinking about marriage, I would never even get married.

55:25Ever. Ever again.

55:27Ben Mandelker: She has like a... She's like... I mean, like, this guy has nothing but red flags, but she has now put a new... She has a new timeline for herself, which is that she just wants... She thinks she only has, like, 15 years left. And she's like, I want to find someone for this final chapter. And so she feels like she's running out of time to find a guy to spend the rest of her life with and so she's ignoring red flags and normally you see this conversation happening with people who just want to find a partner so that way they can have a baby but it's interesting to see it happening here like at a time of her life where she should be the most discerning and have the most wisdom uh and like the most experience and to really be able to like to cut through everything and now it's like obvious red flags and she's like no that doesn't matter i just need someone to grow old with lock it down yeah and so she's saying listen he's not asking me to marry him he's not ready to ask me to marry him and heather's like well i understand but you know telling you is kind of sending a little message like there's a ring it's hanging out over there and gina's like yeah he's saying be a good girl no no there's more to what you're saying and i'm not going to go down that rabbit hole anymore i do not like rabbit holes i will not do it this makes no sense to me i don't feel like men like shopping or buying jewelry so why would you go and spend the time and effort to do that and bring it home and put it in a safe and Tamara's like I just want to know did Vicky have to buy it so Vicky's like look we're at a place where we don't need this whole engagement party okay we don't need all that okay him and I will just elope and that's it that's our agreement so Tamara's like oh we have an engagement party for you she's like yeah with Steve and it worked out so well didn't it so they all crack up and just agree to drop it because vicky's not having this you know vicky's like i will say come on camera so then um now it's time for carmella to give her birthday presents and of course she's giving them really expensive presents yes and uh well back i guess vicky gets a wallet but um yes you know it's expensive because shannon's like well Carmella thank you so much oh this is almost as exciting as that pizza that I'm getting this is wonderful thank you so much oh my god yeah well also Shannon's extra nice to Carmella because Shannon is having Carmella as her like she's recruited Carmella to be on her side so everything Carmella does you can see that Shannon also finds Carmella trashy but instead she's like oh you are You are so sweet What a lovely person And you are not Driving down property values In Rancho Santa Fe You are a great addition To my childhood home You are great Oh poor Carmela She's also got another gift At the bottom of the bag For Vicky And it's not a dildo guys It is a scarf And so she puts it on her head And she's like well I'm not really a scarf person And I'm not really a wallet person either So I'm going to return this stuff and get something that I actually want But it was nice Jeez Thank you, thank you sweetheart This is so kind, thank you And Shannon Is like and by the way I just want to say Thank you guys all for coming over And bringing over A food that I have tried to avoid For the past 15 years I really love all of you so much.

59:05Ben Mandelker: All of you. That includes you, Tamara. I do love you. The gift of dietary sabotage. It was really heart blockage warming. So thank you very much to everybody here. I love you all. And that's the end. And that's where it ends. Fun times. Yeah, it was a pretty fun one. Fun way to end the week. Everybody, thank you so much for being here. Have an amazing weekend. And we will be back Tuesday. We're off Monday for the holy days. But we will talk to you on Tuesday. See you then. Bye.

59:44Walking to the club, everybody say my name. Walking to the mall and saying everywhere I go, people holler every day. I raise my hands up and holler back. Hey, bitch. Hey, bitch. Hey, bitch. If you don't know me, you're welcome to blow me. Batch. Hey, Batch. Hey, Batch. Every day's a parade, don't even try to shake. Magazines and blogs were to Facebook and Insta. I ruled them all, because when I play, I went up. People magazine called and said, I'm the man. Asked me lots of questions, I answered every one. Hey, Batch. Hey, Batch. Hey, Batch. You pretend not to love me, but don't think you're above me Batch Hey Batch Hey Batch You can try to hate me, but life celebrates me Boy, girl, Batch, another boat Batch, Batch, all around the world Even sharks, that's a stretch Batch, Batch, Batch, Batch Even baby, Batch, Batch Read the holy book, even God saved a wretch Batch

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