#3545 Real Housewives Ultimate Girls Trip S507 Part One: Lingerie Party with Amy Phillips From Drama, Darling Pod

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1:23Well, we made it.

1:25Ben Mandelker: This is the finale of our little Butterball journey. And before we get emotional and start crying into our beautiful personalized aprons, yes, this segment is brought to you in partnership with Butterball.

1:37Ronnie Karam: We got a gift. We got a recipe. We swore we would cook it. And, of course, we cooked it. It actually turned out really great. My whole family was in town. And guess what? I made them turkey burgers. They loved every second of it. So today we're looking back at the whole thing, giving the Butterball gals, Deb and Lynn their flowers, and running the little dish archetype game one more time.

1:59Ben Mandelker: Why don't we go bigger with it, though, this time? Okay, instead of just, like, casting a season, let's look at, like, some Hall of Fame moments and see where Butterball fits into that. Okay, the moments that broke the internet and refused to leave the group chat ever since.

2:13Ronnie Karam: Okay, well, the biggest one probably is the table flip, the iconic table flip. So what dish would be the table flip?

2:23Ben Mandelker: I am going to say the bold, spicy turkey sausage pasta. Turkey sausage pasta is definitely a table flip. Okay. It is a dish designed to be served with drama. Yeah.

2:37Ronnie Karam: I'll go with you on that one. Yeah. Thank you. Let's see. What other archetype moments are there?

2:42Ben Mandelker: What about like a reunion? reunion like a like a like a classic like hug at the reunion crying at the reunion handing a

2:52Ronnie Karam: at the reunion the tearful reconciliation if you will well probably the casserole dish i mean someone got caught lying and they were like why did you lie and she only lied because she whetted a casserole so i think that the ground turkey casserole would be the ultimate in you You know, sorry's at the reunion. That's the biggest hug of a dish. Yeah, I think so.

3:19Ben Mandelker: What about like an iconic entrance? Like, you know, what about, okay, which one would make an entrance that would just have like memes forever?

3:29Ronnie Karam: I think you should pick because I got to pick the last one.

3:32Ben Mandelker: Okay. Well, that's so nice of you. I'm going to say, I think like the turkey burger. the turkey burger with a butterball frozen turkey turkey turkey meat would be um the one that would have like that main character energy i mean like right there's like no other no other i mean like turkey burger is the one right like it's seven nights a week it's ready for you pure main character energy i think it's going to be the one that like walks in and everyone's like oh

3:57Ronnie Karam: comes into the reunion and they're like what are you wearing oh my gosh she looks amazing Has anybody seen Turkey Burger? How are you, Turkey Burger?

4:09Ben Mandelker: How are you?

4:12Ronnie Karam: If we were going to pick something for Devin Lynn, I think we would agree these icons would get turkey tacos. Best dish of all. Because no one has ever cared harder or cooked easier than Devin Lynn.

4:25Ben Mandelker: Devin Lynn are our two little turkey tacos, and we love them dearly.

4:29Ronnie Karam: Devin Lynn, this entire thing was for you. So best dish goes to the best super fans. And this is the one debate that we're not opening up to the group.

4:39Ben Mandelker: Thank you for listening to this segment brought to you in partnership with Butterball. Next time you're making a meal for someone you care about or honestly, even your frenemy, pick up Butterball Turkey, Butterball, Care Hard, Cook Easy. Find them at Butterball.com.

4:53Ronnie Karam: Well, hello and welcome to Watch What Crappens. I'm Ronnie. Ben is gone now. And guess who I have? the gorgeous the talented the bluntabulous amy phillips from drama darling podcast hello how are you darlings hello everybody so wonderful to be in your arms ronnie happy to be oh my god and you know what i thought i'd never find love in santa clarita here we are you know what we are in the middle of nowhere you know what i'm saying and i love it i love it live from santa clarita Are you terribly offended at the reputation that Santa Clarita has been getting on Bravo? No, I love I love any all press is good press.

5:40You know what I'm saying? And I am making Santa Clarita chic. I am bringing in, you know, my own vibes. So you can see me around town, you know, check me out. I'm over at Vons. A lot of the times I'm at the pharmacy. You know, I got to get my drugs. I'll be at the pharmacy at Vons. You can find me at the local library and the Chili's. So come on over. Oh, also, if you want to play tennis, let me know.

6:07Ronnie Karam: Oh, well, that's old school. Tennis and not pickleball or padel ball. Oh, wait, you get a load of padel ball over in Santa Clarita. It's taking over. It's taking over the world. It's everywhere. Yeah, it's a mix between tennis and paddle ball and racquetball. So you're talking about like mini tennis. It's it's it's a mix between pickleball and racquetball, I think. So it's like pickleball, but there's glass walls and you can also. Yes, there's another one. Stop. Wait a second. I was just talking about this on my podcast the other day about pickleball versus tennis versus versus paddleball. I'm sorry, racquetball.

6:49So, OK, I'm going to have to take this offline with you. Wow.

6:54Ronnie Karam: Well, you heard it here first. Now you need to open a Paddle Ball place in Santa Clarita. You'll be rich. You'll be rich as hell. Yes. They're all doing it now. I talked to like five basic people this week, and they were like, oh, Paddle Ball. I was like, oh, that's great. You're saying Paddle Ball? It's nice to not talk. I mean, I say Paddle Ball, but they're saying it's pronounced Paddle. P-A-D-E-L. Really? Really? Okay. I first saw it years and years ago, a couple months ago, on Real Housewives of London. And I was like, oh, wow. They're onto something over there, over the pond. But now suddenly we're all playing it too.

7:37My God. I can't wait. I am so going to get on this. I'm going to skip right over Pickleball and go to Padel Ball. Padel.

7:45Ronnie Karam: So you'll feel fancy. I'm fancy. I'm back, bitches. Yes. Speaking of being back, here we are. Did you know that you and I have known each other for like 11 years or 12 years? It's not nuts. You know, it's so cool because I remember when I first did your podcast and you guys were probably one of the first people to ever do it. And not only were you filming it, like that's how ahead of the curve you were. But I remember going to a studio somewhere like maybe in Culver City. And we were at a long table, microphones in front of us facing out camera in front of us. And we were all like three of us next to each other in a row.

8:30I mean, this, these were the time. Yes. Like grassroots. That's how you got. I mean, it's amazing where, how you began. And it was, I mean, there were tumbleweeds in the podcast space and And you guys just jumped right in there and your magic dust just grew it right up.

8:47Ronnie Karam: The magic dust. My refusal to get back up and wait tables again, I think. It was a straight up laziness, Amy. Well, no, I love that I have known you for that long. It's just so cool. I know. It is crazy. And you look exactly the same. I was flipping through my phone and your picture came up. I guess it knew we were about to spend time together. It must have. Amy. But I have bangs now. I have bangs now and I'm a pawn Paddle ball. So that's, that's the only thing that's changed. Bangs and Paddle. So you're doing five shows a week now at drama, darling, eh? Just about, I try to keep up, you know, with the crappins guys, I do the best I can.

9:27So you're looking at four, you're definitely going to get three, you know, and you know, if you're over on Patreon, you're going to get a bonus. But I'm in the public. You're going to get three over there. And I got a lot of stuff going on on Patreon too.

9:38Ronnie Karam: That's amazing. Amy, my God, that's so many. It's fine. So what was I going to tell you? So here we are, Real Housewives, Ultimate Girls Trip, season something, episode something, Miami. So we go to Miami. What do you think of this show so far? How have you been liking it this season? I love it so much. It's just a fun romp. You know, you get its ultimate girls trip and everyone is trying to be their ultimate self. A little too much looking at you, Vicky and Luann. But like, I love it. This is Luann on like steroids, you know, like she's so caffeinated, you know, she's just so caffeinated. And like, I love seeing her in her ultimate Luann space and everyone responding to it.

10:26Everything is great.

10:28Ronnie Karam: Yeah. Wow. What a positive person she is about herself. But I mean, just constant positivity. I mean, she's making megalomania fun again. I mean, we've lived in the dark so long. people like us just walking around our homes, enjoying ourselves, laughing at ourselves. And people have called us crazy narcissists. And here comes our hero. Here she comes with a song to boot. You know, there's that's what makes it better. You know, songs how when you're driving in the car and a song will play and you're like, whoa, wait a minute. Those are the words like you haven't really listened to it properly. Like I'm trying to think of one.

11:10Ronnie Karam: like Fly Me to the Goon. I don't know. And you're like, well, that song wasn't about gooning. It was about a moon this whole time or whatever. Right, right. I feel like that when Luann sings her songs, I'm like, wait, those are the words? Because they're nothing. It's like a grocery list or something, you know? I give them more credit in my head. In my head, they make sense. But when she says them, I'm like, what? What the fuck are you even talking about over there? Hair on, stockings full. Wonder what my bra is doing. It's like, what? Hold on. I thought this was about class. Mirror, mirror on the wall.

11:50Ronnie Karam: Hard work, doorknob. Bumblegum. Thank you. This is a song for women everywhere. Divas come out of the closet. They are skeletons. Ooh, boo, what? Huh? Wait, Luann, I thought that... It's a Halloween song, darling. It can be anything. Here it is. Gems, jets, silhouettes, champagne in the sky. Vine premieres and fireworks every single night. Gold diamonds, caviar. Life is but a dream. When every day you're living in is featured on TV. Wow. Yeah. Hair done, jewelry on. Oh, mirror on the wall. Who's the fairest in the land? Guess it's not his call. Stupid mirror. It's even talking about. All right.

12:42lover it's um they're like lullabies when my daughter's not sleeping at night i'm like okay darling here's what we're gonna do we're gonna start counting sheep one sheep two sheep three sheep cabaret darling here comes the fourth sheep with a fedora nine ten and she's like now she just pretends she's asleep because she wants me to shut up

13:06Ronnie Karam: this little biggie went to market because I wasn't talented enough to have a cabaret all right fuck that piggy

13:15I love that Luann's costume also had a fedora like I didn't know there was a lingerie fedora that existed but in fact it was probably just all if it was all lace and see-through like she was so close to making it iconic like it could have been so much more lingerie fedora but oh well

13:33Ronnie Karam: lingerie fedora coming right through uh totally different from alter ego fedora very different oh my god the red one with the black band wait oh no you're talking about like a regular i'm in a fedora where they had the alter ego party oh that one i'm sorry right her alter ego fedora oh my god um i was thinking about her picture that she threw back like her modeling photos and they showed pictures of her and she had one shot of her in a red fedora and this was back in like probably like the 80s early 90s wow yeah never let it go you know i like all the pictures of her with a nurse when she's like really young and you know has just like a little prim smile and a fedora and a syringe a nurse mirror mirror on the wall you've got heart issues okay like no time for rhymes clogged arteries veins are stuck gotta get you let's go fuck sorry i'm sorry

14:42Ronnie Karam: hypertension gangrene i really wanted to go dance with your spleen that was a good one That's a classic. I'm going to be a star one day, girls. Luann, Nurse Luann, if you could please come to the front desk. Please stop seeing these patients. Not seeing the patients. They're seeing me. What am I supposed to do? Give them their money back. Come on. It's an audience. Darling, what kind of insurance do you have? Oh, I'm sorry. My songs don't cover that. That doesn't cover my songs. Darling, I'm sorry. I've got to go to the next room. It has been painful in this one because I've had to update my Luan because she's really, she's that lady now in the commercials when we were growing up who had like a hole in her throat because she smoked too many cigarettes.

15:27Ronnie Karam: And she'd be like, kids, don't. And had to cover her hole to say smoke. And then she'd open it and smoke would keep coming out of her neck. Oh, yeah. Oh, God. Do you remember those? Do I remember them? Yeah. I still smoke because of them. That lady was a hero. I know. Yeah, no. Smoking was fun. But like, you know, you just – I was proud of Vicky for the cigar, though. She was like – Oh, yeah. I do it in Mexico. I do it in Mexico. These are what I call get out of my neighborhood cigars. What are you doing here? Do you live in this neighborhood? Show me your papers. Vicky on the beach in Mexico.

16:06Vicky on the beach in Mexico. They're Cuban. Are you from Cuba? Get out of here. Get out of here.

16:14Ronnie Karam: Oh, socialism. Tastes wonderful. Don't tell anybody. Do not tell anybody. So today's episode is called Sisterhood of the Traveling Housewives. Why? I don't really know. I think they're just kind of reaching at this point. I'm really loving this show because it's, you know, just clips and people saying hello to each other. And normally I would hate that. Clives. Oh, we actually got the clip. We did. I want that. The blockbuster Dorinda. The blockbuster cutout of Dorinda. That's so good. That was amazing. It made me so happy to see that. I giggled. I did too. And Dorinda came in the restaurant acting like she was shocked.

16:54Ronnie Karam: She's like, oh, look at that. It's a plaque on the table. What is this? It's a museum. Like you haven't been here 30 times. Give me your camera roll. Because you know she's in there making her daughter pause by the table thing. Oh, my God. Yeah. I wonder how her daughter was doing. She was cool on the show. That's weird she didn't show up. I think she just got embarrassed finally. It was like, you know what? Just leave me alone. Yeah, you're right. She was like, me and my red lipstick and my black outfits are out of here. Private life. Private life. It's time for a commercial. It's time for a Crappens commercial.

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19:18Ronnie Karam: Okay, so we open with the ladies getting glam because today is another Real Housewives of Miami thingy. And Lisa is asking for bitch face instead of baby face. Come on, bitch face instead of baby face. I didn't know you could do that So like they're basically giving your baby face this whole time They're giving your baby gorgeous face Like that's the regular face Wow Yeah Yeah I had to stop getting baby face I bought new toilet paper for the family And my son said mom you look just like this baby on the toilet paper And I was like oh my god It's because I've been getting baby face He said mom I don't want to wipe my butt with your face That was so sweet That was so sweet.

20:02When Jack tried to feed me this baby food, I was like, what are you doing? And then he was like, oh, I thought you were a baby, mom. And I was like, oh, my God, Jack, Henry.

20:15Ronnie Karam: He was mushing up my French fries. My French fries. Yes. That was my first solid food. the first time i ever had solid food was the baby gorgeous meal from wendy's i was 18 days old

20:37they were like hi can i help you and i was like goo goo ga ga ga ga goo and they were like okay pull up to the second window and then i got my baby food first meal

20:53Ronnie Karam: No babies allowed at the first window. I can't wait till I'm not a baby anymore and I can see what they use that first window for. That's such a good point. You're always like, oh, I'm going straight to the second window. Like, is this VIP? Oh, no, it's four in the morning and I'm the only one awake. This is pathetic. No one's working here. It's just a soda machine working at the first window. It's always covered by something. Yeah. Yeah, and something that's really not in good shape. It's just tattered, so you feel kind of dirty. You're like, oh, God, this is not good. Yeah. Yeah, it's like the back of one of the big trash cans that they use to throw stuff out.

21:32Ronnie Karam: It's just like a trash can handle. Why'd you put that there? Put a mannequin or something. A mannequin. Let me eat here.

21:42Ronnie Karam: Okay, so Vicky is with Kyle. Kyle's trying to help her get bras off, and I guess she's wearing three bras. Yeah. Is that a thing? That's like a Shannon and Vicky thing. They love wearing multiple Spanx and bras. Layers and layers and layers, you know? Yeah. Yeah. You got to do it, I guess. I never really got into man Spanx because there's nowhere to just, it just never ends, you know? Like it pushes up, but then my boobs are like spilling over the edge of the thing. I mean, okay, I did try them on in a department store. Anyway, I don't know why I'm talking about this, but it's just like there's nowhere for it to go.

22:17Ronnie Karam: You just keep pushing it up and then I've got boobs under my chin. Right. It's almost like you need a full body suit. You know, like a tank into a whole body suit. Because where is it going to go? And that's a huge commitment. Yeah, well, normally it goes up to your boobs. But yeah, for a guy, you don't want your boobs up to your chin. No, you don't. Although at this point it couldn't be worse than what's happened. Anyway, the point is not my breasts. Monty is feeling himself. Slowly breaking down. He's actually putting on lipstick using he's squishing his boobs. It's like a Molly Ringwald trick from Breakfast Club.

23:01Ronnie Karam: It's like a Beverly D 'Angelo.

23:06Ronnie Karam: So they're going to a lingerie party in Miami. And they're all kind of freaked out because Miami is, you know, sexiness and being in lingerie and stuff. And Lisa's like, that's weird. Shit's weird in Miami. I mean, they want any excuse to get naked. Am I right? She does. And I'm just a baby, so I don't like this. I don't like it. It's problematic. Who was more covered? Like, so Jacqueline Loretta and then probably Lisa Barlow, right? They were the most covered. I don't even remember what Lisa was wearing. Was she probably wearing like a cowboy hat again and all black? Probably, yeah. This is me.

23:48Ronnie Karam: It's my alter baby eco, a cowboy baby in lingerie. A cowboy baby.

23:56At least the hockseeing.

23:58Ronnie Karam: Cowboy baby lingerie is chaps. Chaps. yeah lisa hoxing's like you're fitting in so great oh my god this is so perfect i love it yeah well the the budget on girls trip seems pretty low i mean it is bravo so i guess it is low but maybe they spend all the money on the women and then they don't really have money for much else but then you see in this episode they spend like marvel money on special effects i mean just keeping the nipples covered. They had to have little like special effects, like wipe out things. Dissolves and like transitions. Emojis, graphics, specialized coloring and saturation.

24:43Ronnie Karam: Yeah. It's like the little squeegee guy from Press Your Luck who would come on. They'd like get a whammy or whatever and he'd like sweep off the money. That's so good. Yeah. So there's a lot of nipple covering on this one. And we see different – we see clips from Miami that were pretty great. And Portia is a fan of Miami, but she does ask a big question. She's like, yeah, I've seen Lisa's lingerie party, but, I mean, who really wants to fight when you're naked? Not me. Well, that's Miami for you. I don't even like taking a shower when I'm naked. I just find the whole thing so distasteful. Yeah, I have my shower suit that I wear.

25:29Like a never nude? Yeah, never nude. Yeah, it's what Leah Black used to wear, all the lace, like the nude colored lace. So what was it called? Was it called never nude or barely there? I don't remember. There was a word for it. I think it was never nude. So yeah.

25:47Ronnie Karam: Never nude is from Arrested Development. Oh, Arrested Development. There was a guy in there who's like. Yeah, it's okay. I was getting it. That's right. But it's funny that you took it right back to Leah Black. Because Leah Black is like that. She's like, you want to come to my pool? And then she's like in five turtlenecks. Yeah. And a feather boa. Diamond necklaces. Yes. The pool parties on these shows. Can someone get in the pool? Someone. An ankle? Anything. An arm? Test the water? No one gets in the pool anymore. It's so much makeup, I think. They just put so much work into getting there. I don't think you can just jump in a pool with all that.

26:29I know, and it's sad. It makes me sad, you know? It really does. You know who you never see swim?

26:33Ronnie Karam: Drag queens. Oh, right. Right. I don't know, but I feel like that would be a great opportunity. If no one's doing it, let's open the door. Get your waterproof makeup, your waterproof outfits, your waterproof nipple covers, your waterproof fedoras, and waterproof wigs. Like, let's start. Start. Let's start it. All right. We're starting wet, free, drag queen swimming and paddle ball in Sierra. Sierra. God, what's wrong with me? Santa Clarita. Sierra Bonita. Oh, thank you. Point is, everyone likes to be naked in Miami. So Lisa Hochstein is there, very nudie time. And she sees all the other Miami women.

27:24Ronnie Karam: And I don't know if they know at this point that they've been put on pause. But they're going to fight for the right to be on television. Because they immediately come in. They're like, oh, hi, it's me with my conky. Really, Larsa, why are you being so mean to me? What do you mean? I'm like never mean to you. Ah, you never call me. You never answer your phone, though. No one invites me anywhere. It's like, damn, these ladies are ready to rumble. They really are. They were like, they're coming to Miami, so let's get our stuff. Larsa, you and me together. Lisa and Larsa, boom, you're together. Now Lisa and Lisa.

27:58Now Lisa and Luann, just all the L's. Just everybody do something. It was kind of funny that Lisa and Larsa were like upset. And then within about, I don't know, three minutes and 32 seconds, They were like, but we're okay, right? Yeah, let's hug.

28:15Ronnie Karam: Yeah, you're okay, but like you're a stupid bitch. But like I still like you. But like I was right about Jodi, right? She's still trying to fight about who followed Marcus on the, like Lisa followed Marcus on the Instagram. And then they're showing all the clips and them fighting over that. And I like that they're still getting on Alexia about her old lie storyline too, which was, I broke up with Todd. I'm not with Todd anymore. Like, why are you accusing me of being with Todd? Like, we know you're with Todd. Stop lying. No, I'm not with Todd. We just saw you at dinner with Todd. Well, you got to eat.

28:47Ronnie Karam: But like. Wait, no, but I literally you just said you're not with him. He's right behind you, Alexia. He's right there. Todd, I'm breaking up with you there. Are you happy? I broke up with Todd. Yeah, I am happy. I'm never going to talk to him again. No, he's a narcissist. Hey, you called me a narcissist? I never called you a narcissist. I don't know. Oh, my God. They're kissing and making up, you guys. I can't believe this. This is ridiculous. Todd, can you please leave this lingerie party? God. She says, do you think I'm stupid? Do you think I'm bringing my man to a lingerie party? They're like, oh, you're with Todd?

29:21Ronnie Karam: No, no. I was never not without Todd. I was always with Todd. Wait, you just said you weren't with him, and then you just said you were always? I'm not not with Todd. So you're not with him? I'm with, not Todd, not. Okay. Can we get a producer? because I really am not understanding this. Wait, are you wearing Todd? You should get a producer for your own relationship so you're not worried about me and Todd. Oh, my God. You speak in Spanish? Wait, you guys. I think Alexia is, like, wearing Todd. Do you see Todd as her lingerie? Like, this is so weird. It's just Todd's skin. You just see big white teeth hanging off her wrist.

30:04Ronnie Karam: Like, wait a minute. You just see his video. like this video stills from when he did that like 45 minute explanation about why his business i don't i don't even know but i i actually watched that from beginning to end i would like to announce to america here is how interest rates work

30:29Ronnie Karam: thanks to watch every one of those videos those are my favorite things he's like america here's economic talk without the non-narcissist. Thank God I wasn't the only one. I don't know why I lasted to the very end. I don't know what it was. I think he's got a, now I understand the hold he has on Alexia. You can't look away. Yeah, truly, just a stud. I mean, I watched, I think, eight of those videos that he made, and then I filed bankruptcy three times. It was so weird. I don't if one thing had to do with the other. That is so strange. Yeah, that's so strange. Yeah, I watched it and then like I bought like several different commercial real estates, real estates, buildings and such.

31:15And then I like foreclosed on them because I shouldn't ever have bought them in the first place. So that was weird.

31:23Ronnie Karam: And that was a financially stable thing to do, America. here's why renting is better than owning things i've got the papers to prove it his papers are always with him thought in his papers just walking his papers alexia what um what does todd have what is he holding there i'm sorry i can't see what does he have alexia what is that oh my god i gotta go thoughts home do you hear his car pulling up No, I hear paperwork. I hear paperwork. It's coming up the hallway. I love Alexia's, I was never without Todd. When she spent that whole reunion being like, no, what do you mean? I never had a narcissist.

32:07Ronnie Karam: That party wasn't about Todd. And then it kept cutting to her being like, welcome to my narcissist party because Todd is a narcissist. Like it wasn't even just hinted at. It was called like Todd the Narcissist Party. And she's like, why? Why are you guys always trying to break up me and Todd? We you had a costume party for the best Todd narcissist costume. Like, I don't understand. You have to leave. You literally said, help, help, help me. You you hired a skywriter that said, help me get out of this relationship with Todd, the narcissist. We don't understand. All right. Whatever, Alexia. Let's hear.

32:44Ronnie Karam: Oh, my God. That was one of my favorite all time things. The Todd narcissism party. oh i i love your alexia i don't know what i like that you have a lot of impressions that i don't know it's hard it's hard to pick a favorite alexia is really right up there a thought it's because she does the blinking eyes when she's like oh my god you guys blink blink blink blink blink she has the teresa blink but hers is in spanish i love her i love all of them i even really grew to love marisol over the years which is weird Oh, thank you. So nice of you to say. Oh, you're uncocky. And that's literally all she really does.

33:28I know, but it's great.

33:30Ronnie Karam: Let's talk about my mother a little bit. Luanne's like, oh, yeah, it reminds me of a guy I used to fuck when my uncle died on the toilet. Oh, my God. That was so bad. That was so bad. I mean, it was so entertaining and yet so disrespectful. Yeah. Oh, Luanne. Okay, so now we're still talking to the Miami girls, and Adriana shows up in her same outfit she wore to the original lingerie party. Oh, didn't catch that. Hot, hot, hot. Fuego. Yeah. I mean, I guess in Housewives years, it's like saying, this is like my prom dress, and I still fit in it. Yes. You know, or my wedding dress. Dorinda, you know, and I have to say I am impressed that they were able to get into it because I tried on a pair of jeans.

34:19I was cleaning out the jeans the other day, and I was like, gosh dang, was I much thinner. And look at me now. I can't get in them.

34:27Ronnie Karam: Really? Yeah. You look exactly the same. I mean, look, this is what I suggest. Buy elastic, and that's all. Okay. Although you do still notice when you gain weight because you'll start getting marks. I have elastic. I do have elastic drawstring pants on right now. So I think I'm there. You do. Yes, at all times. Because you just never know when you're going to get hungry. Well, I think that you've got your new product. I mean, I think that you should launch just elastic pants. Well, I mean, those are a thing already. I think we really had it with the no wetness on your body swimming for drag queens.

35:12Oh, okay.

35:13Ronnie Karam: I think that's going to get us. All right. So we're not going to reinvent the wheel. All right. Fine. We are. It's going to be a drag queen in a swimming pool wheel. And in 10 years, people are going to be like, wow, I can't believe drag queens ever came out in the sun not looking like eggs. Easter eggs. Easter. We'll be making fun of you from inside an egg. Oh, is that what you're going to do? In a hamster wheel in the pool, running in that little sphere. Yes.

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38:11Ben Mandelker: Results based on a January 2026 analysis of 14 ,203 Noom GLP-1 RX program members who logged weight over a 40-week period. Higher app engagement was associated with greater weight loss at 16 weeks. Oh, you know what I loved? It's Lisa Barlow and Larsa talking about how they were both at the Accountant premiere.

38:36Ronnie Karam: Oh, this was good. This was great. Because she never said why she was with Ben Affleck when she missed that camping trip, you know? So, like, for her to be like, oh, I was with, you know, I was at the Accountant premiere. I don't name drop Blake Lively, Ben Affleck, Julia Roberts, Julia Stiles, Julia Childs. Like, she's like, I don't name drop. Meanwhile, she just drops eight names. And Larsa's like, you should, you should name drop. Yeah. She's like, yeah, maybe you should stop like name dropping Lisa. Like, that's all you have to do. But I was there. I was at the accountant premiere. Listen, it's because where I work, you know, and I was just telling my friend Blake Lively this the other day.

39:18Ronnie Karam: I was like, I don't need to name drop. But you just name drop Lisa. No, I didn't. It's so crazy. Janet Jackson doesn't think so. Nuts. Charlie XCX. Charlie XCX. CXCX, Charlie. Or something. She's like, no, but I was at the accountant premiere night and I didn't see you. Yeah, but I didn't see you. So how were you there? But I was there, but were you there? No, but that's what I'm saying. Like, how were you there? And I didn't see like you like. Because housewives would definitely see each other at a premiere. I was shocked. It's like if you're a gay guy at a straight person premiere. People are like, oh, my God, Ronnie, did you see the other gay guy over there?

40:06Right. Totally. It's always going to be. And there's like a spotlight. Yeah. I don't. I'm shocked. Because also, if they didn't happen to catch each other, people would have been talking. Whether it's like press people, fans of the show. Oh, my God, I saw Larsa was here. You know, anything. So I am honestly shocked that they are saying that they didn't see each other. Weird.

40:28Ronnie Karam: It is weird, but to me it's clear that Lisa's just lying. She got caught in another lie. Because I think maybe she was doing party planning for something to do with that. I'm so naive. And maybe she showed up. They didn't see each other. Yeah, like maybe she put out popcorn and crackers. I mean, I don't know. What kind of things do you have special for an accountant for me? Or like adding machines that are really Snickers bars? Yes. And then she left when the employees left. And then Larsa actually came to the premiere. She's like, I didn't see Lisa Barlow there. What? Oh, that's so interesting.

41:00Right. So it's like she was there, but she was working. So she was not on the red carpet or sitting in the seats watching the movie.

41:08Ronnie Karam: That's what I think. Because, you know, Lisa has a wonky version of the truth, which, by the way, I stand up for every single time. I'm like, how dare you come for Lisa Barlow? And then they show Lisa Barla saying the most horrible things. I'm like, yes. I know. I know. She's just a baby. We have to defend her. I mean, like, are you kidding me? But, you know, also she could easily be like, I was working so hard. I like put 52 steps on my stepper that day. Yeah. You should have seen my rings that day. They were complete. My watch like literally fell off because the rings were so completed. Even John said he was sorry for a fight we had like two years ago when he like laughed at me and we didn't speak for two years and he finally said he was sorry.

41:58And so that ring closed.

42:02Ronnie Karam: Yeah, my ring was so closed that when I got in a fight, I took it off of my watch and threw it out the window and John had to go get into the snow.

42:14my ring was so closed i dropped it in the airport bathroom and it was a 65 000 ring wasn't that her didn't she drop a ring in the bathroom yes and she freaked out i still think

42:27Ronnie Karam: heather gay stole that fucking ring i still think she stole it i've always thought that and i think it and then they did that girls trip in thailand where heather gay stole uh uh Giselle's tequila she stole her bottle of classe azul and hit it and the whole season nobody knew who did it and Giselle was coming after someone every single day and we finally found out in the last shot it was Heather the whole time you're right wow black eyes casa azul um diamond rings and I'm sure trip is someone else's boyfriend so let's just put trip in there oh my gosh well if If you're going to make up a boyfriend, why?

43:08Ronnie Karam: Here's why I kind of believe her. Because if you're going to make up a boyfriend, it's going to be like Bronwyn. Oh, look, it's this 26-year-old model. Or look, it's the head of some tech company and he's a gazillionaire or something. You're not going to be like, here's my fake boyfriend. I hired him off Angie 10 years ago and he cheated on me before we even dated. And now he's back. I'm like, what? Before we dated. What do you think? I'm happy for Heather. What do you think? Yeah, I mean, I'm happy for Heather. I'm confused. I don't know that I believe it. Oh, really? I don't believe anything on – I don't believe them on Salt Lake City.

43:44Ronnie Karam: I feel like they mislead me. I don't believe Bronwyn's life. I don't believe Heather's boyfriend. But I don't know. I think I'm housewives trained to not believe that. I understand. I understand. A lot I don't believe and a lot I'm naive to. So, I mean – so, I think, like, I like Heather having a boyfriend. I think what sold it for me was the personalized helmet for the motorcycle. Oh, yeah. What was it? I didn't even notice it, actually. I'm saying, oh, yeah, but I didn't notice it. What did it say? It said Heather. And it was a black helmet. I think it was airbrushed with her name in pinks and purples.

44:25And when they scooted away and she was on the back, you could see it. And I thought that's, you know, it takes time to get something personalized, you know, like a helmet of sorts. So they've been together for at least before this, at least three weeks, you know.

44:41Ronnie Karam: Well, that's a long time. It is. And you actually just sold me on this relationship. Here's another reason I didn't really believe it, because when he rides up his Harley or whatever, he puts his kickstand down with his hand. And I thought that was really weird. What? Yeah. See, I missed that. And he puts it. I didn't see it in the show. I saw it on Reddit. Someone put it on Reddit. I was like, whoa. I love that. No, that's so good. Thank you, Reddit. See, that's so good because, like, there are things that we're going to miss. And then you get these, like, eagle eyes out there. But why? I mean, it's either broken or I don't have a reason.

45:24I can't understand. It's also not sanitary. There's electromagnetic things coming off of that kickstand.

45:32Ronnie Karam: I could have died. I could have died. I do not want to write this matter, Zach.

45:38Ronnie Karam: I like boats better. Yeah. Boats? I grew up on boats. Is that John Jansen's son? Hi, John Jansen's son. He's in a boat. Is that Joe? Is that Joe? Is that Joe?

45:56Ronnie Karam: Okay, so scrolling through here, Lisa and Larsa fight for a really long time, I guess, about who's following who on Instagram. And then they make up. It's very easy. And then Melissa is talking. Melissa has a little conversation with Jacqueline Lareda. Crazy. This was big. Seeing Jacqueline and Melissa and Teresa in the same spot for the first time. Like this is the first time we've seen them with Teresa and Melissa actually on our TVs, you know, getting TVs. Guys, you know, I mean, I'm from like the 80s getting acclimated and letting us see that they are getting along. Now, this is what I don't believe, Ronnie.

46:39I don't believe that. I mean, I know they're getting along, but I don't believe it's real. I think they did it so they could get back to the show.

46:47Ronnie Karam: so yeah i think so but um what's her buns uh lorita is living in orange county now oh that's right i think she would be a real housewives of oc she'd probably fit in better on that show yeah that seems like a really good fit i remember learning this several years ago and thinking oh maybe she's angling for a spot there or whatever um but completely forgot that That's her residence. Wild, right? Yeah, I think she's back there. But then this Melissa and Teresa thing, I don't know. I don't know if I'm looking forward to a season of Melissa and Teresa getting along. I love the toxicity of Jersey. That last season where it was too toxic to even have a reunion and they had to do it at Rails in two separate rooms.

47:32Ronnie Karam: I thought that was amazing with just Dolores in the middle drinking everybody's drinks as they each stormed off. Going up and down, room to room. yeah she was they were like in their own escape rooms and she was like the person in charge of the escape rooms you know she's like you get that do you guys get out of here yet no okay keep working on it and then they started playing the mafia music from the godfather at the end and dolores is like friendships sometimes it works sometimes it doesn't work the point is i've never had a southern comfort martini it was pretty good i never would have ordered fries but here they are.

48:14That's so funny. Yeah. Well, I'm not looking forward to it because I don't believe it. You know, that's what's weird. So I just feel like, you know, it's seeing Teresa and Melissa being like, you good? Yeah, you're doing good. All right. Just saying hi to my sister-in-law. And then leaving. And I'm like, guys, we know you hate each other. You know, I mean, I'm glad that the show made you, you know, actually be cordial to each other. But if it wasn't for the show, they wouldn't have done that. I really don't believe it.

48:48Ronnie Karam: Yeah, I think they should have just picked sides of the show. I think they should have said, OK, we like Teresa better. That's who I would have chosen to stay or Melissa. But keep either one and then just build around them. Although I think either way we would have been missing my personal favorite. Oh, my God. Joe. Seriously, Joe, put on a different outfit. I can't. You smell. You smell right now, Joe. Were you plumbing? It was little Margaret Josephs. Oh, man. She's on The Golden Life, right? No. Oh, yeah. That's right. She joins The Golden Life later. I think she's on like an episode or two.

49:22Ronnie Karam: And she's on. I think she's going to be on another show coming on E. Yeah. I think it's E. Or VH1. With a bunch of ex-cast members of things going on a vacation. Okay. Yeah. They're just going to be popping up everywhere. You know, look out your window. They're probably filming on your lawn. They are getting around, you guys. Margaret Josephs just floated by the outside of my house. You know what? I've said it before and I'll say it again. Shut up, Teresa. Just shut your mouth. You're stupid. You idiot. Ha, ha, ha. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. I love Margaret. Dang, she's so great. She's like. Yeah, me too.

50:02She should, you know, if she's going to be bringing it back around at some point, like on these trips, she needs to put the pigtails back in at least for just one up or one party.

50:14Ronnie Karam: Doesn't that seem like 500 years ago, those pigtails? Wow. I looked her up the other day for some reason. I mean, just because I was living my normal life. That's why. I looked her up and the first picture that came up was her in pigtails. And I was like, oh, my God, those were the days. They were. And to think like that's how she, you know, she got go. She got go. She got Joe to go. She got Joe. She was like coming down the stairs in her house. And she was like, oh, this lady here picks him. And he was like, wah, wah, wah, wah, ha, cha, cha, pigtails.

50:51Ronnie Karam: I haven't taken that to pigtail since. I still put him on at night, but Joe, he's the size. He wants that for me. We take a shower. Why do you know we keep them in there? Amy, I have a very important question for you. Do you want an iced coffee? Do you want an iced coffee? I can make you an iced coffee. Yes, I do. What kind of creamers do you have? Snickers only. Only Snickers. Oh, I'll have only Snickers. Is that like only fans for Snickers? I have only Snickers. We make a lot of money. The cows that make this basically are naked except for Snickers wrappers. Make the delicious, delicious creamer.

51:30Ronnie Karam: $19.99 a month. Extra for DMs. Sign me up, baby. Sign me up. Sign me up. All right, so there's a lot of little hellos here and there. And then we get, I think, one of the best speeches. You know, ever since our current politicians have taken over, we haven't really had a speech that makes any kind of sense. It's just been a bunch of babbling and nonsense. And I'm the best. And, you know, here we are at an airplane opening. I am an airplane. I'm the best airplane. There's no airplane better than me. Those are the kind of speeches we're used to now. So it was so beautiful to see such an eloquent piece of work put forth by Lisa Hochstein.

52:13I was, you know, I was taken aback. I'm embarrassed to say how emotional I was to think she was 27, I think, when she came on the show. Is that what she said? Yeah. It just took me back. Like, I was just thinking about like, where was I when I was 27? You know, like when, how was she, you know, 27 and just how great she looks. She looks the same, if not better. And I just, you know, head and hands. I had to wipe away some tears.

52:42Ronnie Karam: Yeah. Yeah. She looks great. Well, in her, I think to her credit, she went way overboard with the plastic surgery when she met Lenny. I mean, Lenny was just like, hey, can I practice on you? And did just God knows what he did to her. And when she showed up on the show, you know, that was a long time ago. And people were like, holy plastic surgery, Batman. Like, what? Have you seen this chick on the new thing? And now I think she looks so, like, she settled into it. Yeah. It's unbelievable. Because if she's had any other work done, you can't tell. She maintained the original work. She went too far and she stayed too far.

53:24Ronnie Karam: Right. And that's, and it looks great. now and that's beautiful thing it is a beautiful thing guys it's art so her speech is like yeah i was 27 when i started this show can you believe i was the youngest one and then you see her just kind of go back remembering what that was like it's like all right well anyway here i am i'm still so beautiful i like bathing suits oh one time i had a party in miami it was so great everyone was there. Anyway, celebrate me. It's me. Well, I've been on Housewives 20 years. And everyone's like, wow, this is literally just a speech about herself. Smattering of applause.

54:06Kyle's like, are you kidding me right now? Are you kidding me right now? Are you kidding me right now? Are you kidding me right now? Are you kidding me?

54:14Ronnie Karam: Oh, so I guess this is about Lisa, not the Housewives.

54:21wait there should be a blink a blink off and a tongue off between the housewives you know like at the next bravo con like who can like a staring contest between theresa and alexia and then who else does a tongue with kyle there's other people who does kyle does the touching her

54:39Ronnie Karam: the corner of her mouth with her tongue where she's like ah ah it's like a really fast kind a lizard thing. Diana Jenkins was a big lizard. Oh, right. Kim Zolciak does the posing with her tongue out thing still that kids did a long time ago. Oh, Lord. She's like, how are you going to get me on your TikTok? Peace. Look, I'm in the hospital. I'm in the motherfucking hospital. Who the fuck are you? It's good to fucking be here. I'm a hospital girly. Who are you? Damn. Shit's good in here. Fuck. Oh, shit. Here comes a hot nurse. Darling, darling, you're in the hospital. What's your name? Kim. It's Luanne.

55:28I'm trying to bring it back. I'm not. I didn't have anything. It fell. It fell. Anyway.

55:33Ronnie Karam: Darling, darling, what's your name? There's a mirror. My knee hurts. Sorry. I was doing a number into bushes. Did you see it? Here, let's watch it on TikTok. It's great.

55:47Well, let us know who does the tongue, who can have the tongue off with Kyle, because it's not coming to me. I know there's we need a current housewife that will show up at BravoCon that can have a tongue off. Probably Jax. No, Jax is because a lot of them have little.

56:03Ronnie Karam: Yeah, Jax. I think Jax is that. Well, you never know. It seems like they're prepping him to come back for the valley. So who knows? Do you think he will with his PR agent? Yeah, I don't know, girl. I don't know. Okay. I don't know. We don't. Let's not put that into the universe. Yeah. I already did, darling. Yeah, the tongue thing. I'm still on the tongue thing. I think Vicky does a tongue thing when she like kind of moves her lips up and down like a fish with her eyes really wide. And then she like kind of licks the bottom of her lip where she's like. Oh, yeah. That's more like I fell asleep in the middle of this sentence.

56:40Yeah, you're right, though.

56:41Ronnie Karam: Tamara does it when she's laughing at someone. She's like, dang, you're so good. Those are tongue people. Yeah, there's a lot of tongue people. Yeah. Snicket's tongue. Okay, so now we have the speech is still going and everyone's annoyed. And, of course, Luanne's like, hey, microphone, hand me the mic. Do not hand her the microphone. Happy birthday to Dion, the producer here. I'm singing happy birthday to him because he has a microphone. learn how to celebrate the important people on my right hand me back to microphone god damn it it's not my birthday okay it's no one's birthday you asked you you you sent out an email that we did not approve it is no one's birthday you know happy hanukkah it is not hanukkah is it happy anything?

57:39Ronnie Karam: Well, God forbid, it's shoot me in the face for being happy. We're sorry, girls. I have little fedoras covering my nipples.

57:50Ronnie Karam: Congratulations, you've reached the end of part one of a two-part recap. For part two, go look for the recap that says part two. See you over there, suckers.

58:01Ben Mandelker: Watch what crappens would like to thank its premium sponsors. Ain't no thing like Alison King. Our way is the Amber way. It's the Foster and the Furious. It's Amanda Foster. It's Always Automatic with Ashley Otto. Put your hands together for Carly Clapp. Get on the right foot with Chrissy Offutt.

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