#3561 RHONY S16E4 Part Two: I Bid You Adieu

0:00Therapy's biggest impact doesn't show up in some dramatic breakthrough. It shows up in the smallest moments. You bite your tongue instead of escalating. You put your phone down instead of firing off that text. You say what you actually mean instead of what would hurt someone else the most. Nobody applauds those moments, but they quietly change your life. That's what growing feels like, and that's exactly what Grow Therapy is here for. Grow is therapy that works, covered by insurance. Sessions average$21 with insurance, and some pay as little as$0, depending on their plan. There are no subscriptions, no long-term commitments.

0:37You just pay per session. Grow connects you with thousands of high-quality, licensed therapists across the U.S., offering both virtual and in-person sessions, nights and weekends. You can search by what matters, like insurance, specialty, identity, or availability. And you can book a therapy session in minutes and begin in as little as two days, not the national 48-day average. See if you could pay as little as$0 for therapy in seconds at growtherapy.com slash ACAST. That's growtherapy.com slash ACAST. growtherapy.com slash ACAST. Availability and coverage vary by state and insurance plan. This January, Bare Knuckle Fighting Championship takes over the ocean.

1:22The inaugural Brews Cruise sails from Miami to the Bahamas aboard the Norwegian Jewel. Three straight days with pool deck bare knuckle fights in the Caribbean. Massive parties, beach events, DJs, cigars, tequila tastings, and nonstop action. The lineup reveals coming soon. Cabins are disappearing fast, and the prices won't stay this low. Reserve your spot with just$200 down at BKFSEA.com.

1:53Watch what happens when there's so much that happens. Watch what happens when there's so much that happens.

2:22let's get right back into the recap so we get a lesson from aaron she's like real estate new york is insanely expensive and a rent control department is amazing to have i would trade abe for a rent control department oh my god if abe just had a place of abe would walk right into a popcorn ceiling apartment just to get some silence i can guarantee you that right now Abe the Babe. Abe the Babe needs a popcorn ceiling right now. So hard. He's probably had two weeks of walking around just listening to Jam. Jam. She calls me Jam. Is this nice? Jam.

3:01Ben Mandelker: He's going to write us a message. I actually enjoy when she talks about Jam. So, we love you, Abe the Babe. So, Cy is like, I would love a rent-controlled apartment. And Daisy's like, well, Cy, you would never live in a rent control department. Yes, I would. And so Daisy's like, what? Like, she would never. She's like, she'd be like, where's the amenities? Where's my sauna? Like, you wouldn't do that, Cy. And so then Cy is like, you know what? This is my first time having amenities. Now I'm in bliss, happiness, heaven. I love my fucking building. Is it expensive? And am I busting my ass to pay for it?

3:40Yeah.

3:40Ben Mandelker: And I'm proud that I can fucking provide that shit for my family at the end of the day. It has nothing to do with a goddamn rent-stabilized popcorn ceiling having fucking apartment. What is this monologue about? Like, I liked it, but I didn't quite understand it. Well, we find out that Cy has turned this whole conversation to being pissed off at Daisy because Daisy has been judging Cy's apartment. Because Cy's apartment is$90 million a year or whatever. It's like$25 ,000 a month. And she's like, why are you spending$25 ,000 a month when you're going through a divorce? You do not have the money to do this.

4:18And she's like, but it's got a sauna. She's like, oh, for Christ's sake. Well, we don't all want to live in a rent-controlled popcorn fucking ceiling place, okay? I work. Get a better job. So it seems like that's what their fight has been. And so Sai is using this dinner to, like, get back at Daisy and be like, oh, you're mad at them for judging your popcorn ceilings when you're judging my$25 ,000 a month apartment that I'm working my ass off for. So why is it okay to judge my apartment, but they can't judge your apartment? It was a really roundabout way of getting to a fight that I did not see coming.

4:50Ben Mandelker: It was, yeah, it came out of left field because like you said before, Cy was kind of saying like, hmm, you seem really insecure about them saying that you have a popcorn ceiling. You probably don't even want that popcorn ceiling. You probably don't like where you're living, okay? And you're going to judge me because I decided to move into a luxury high rise. And Daisy's like, why are you living in a luxury high rise? It's so expensive. Like, you don't have the money to do this. So that's like this weird subtext to this. But we're kind of having to figure it out because it's all coming in in weird bits and pieces.

5:20Carol's like, I haven't been here for eight years, but it only feels like a couple of weeks. Look how natural I am. All right. Hold on. Give me some popcorn as a prop. Whoa, popcorn. Well, now I'm going to look at the other side fighting. popcorn oh geez i'm glad someone finally came up with a popcorn bit to do on a housewives show i

5:41Ben Mandelker: know carol so daisy is like look i'm nobody talked about about how to spend your money but her rent is like 25 000 and i mean what's happening in your marriage you don't know where you're gonna be in the next six months shit is changing and changing quickly you know you could live in a gorgeous three-bedroom apartment and pay half of what you pay and not have to do this like but what But why is where I live a topic? It's because you were the one who turned the conversation into that sort of, I think. Yeah. This has been an unsolicited advice queen for years, and I'm sick of it, okay? Like she'd rather live under popcorn ceilings.

6:21I mean, it's like the old lady who lives in a shoe.

6:24Ben Mandelker: By the way, Sai is not one to talk about unsolicited advice giving. That's like all that Sai has done. You know what, I'm living a dream And I'm happy right now I'm happy, I'm fucking happy Look how happy I am, I'm bringing up a Passover At the Cedar, you know what, I'm happy And Erica's like, yeah Yeah, she's happy, just look at her, doesn't she look happy Yeah, she's happy, look at happy Happy Sai She's the haggiest happy Person I've ever met So Sai's like I'm living the dream, I got a pool When it's snowing, I'm in the fucking pool you know you know and they're like and then everyone's like but she sees your stress it's coming from a good place yeah well i'm stressed because of other things and that's why i'm stressed but where i live makes me fucking happy okay i see how happy my kids are that brings me happiness and daisy's like good fine then that's all that matters yeah because they're safe they're next to their schools i'm a 10 minute walk from fucking you okay that's nice i see you she's like okay great good for you can't you tell i'm really happy so then they do a little toast like thanks for dragging us here to remote brooklyn for this terrible satyr and and by the way everyone um just want to say while we're here um talking about daisy's popcorn ceilings uh while we are also in her parents old home from the 1950s i'd love to invite you all to my private island so we can finally have a nice place to shoot at for once.

7:56Ben Mandelker: Is anyone in? Where we call popcorn ceilings, the sky. Okay. They're like, sure, that sounds fun. Oh, you know, I love a private island, honey. Do bees love honey? Look at us three months ago, me and Pavit at the private island picked us. Pavit and I were actually on the island. It's absolutely stunning. that's like pop it being like i rate this palm frond an eight out of ten so then

8:32this pomegranate came off that tree over there and you know what it's a pretty good looking pomegranate uh the colors are pretty good on it i've cut it in half whoa whoa whoa extra seedy pomegranate i'm gonna go ahead and give this a six out of ten sorry aaron

8:48Ben Mandelker: so Haley's like not to overstate this but this may have been the worst Seder in the history of Judaism so they all leave and now it's time for everyone to do stuff around the town Haley is rollerblading guys just in case you thought that was a one scene for tv thing nope She's really rollerblading. And she goes into the coffee shop and she's like, could I have a regular milk cappuccino? And they're like, yeah. She's like, mm-hmm. That's right. I'm the one who got a regular milk cappuccino. They normally don't do that for people. Look at me being crazy on rollerblades, getting a cappuccino. And then Carol's getting ready for a gala that she'll be going to later this episode.

9:38Ben Mandelker: So she's walking down the street with her friend Eric, and Carol's just like holding all, like a ton of stuff, and Eric is just like, you know, just walking along. She's like, excuse me, but you're the gay and I'm the lady. You're supposed to hold all the stuff for me, especially because I'm famous. I love the theater. For me, it feels like the heartbeat of New York City. And I got involved with an off-Broadway theater group called Carolyn Bissette's Off-Broadway Theater Group. It's great. But they rebranded to the new group. something really interesting I find with the kids. It's called Carolyn Bursette Summer Theater.

10:15And, you know, so I'm really supporting it. Carolyn Bursette Summer Stock. I'm really supporting it because theater is the heartbeat of New York City. You know, when I think of theater, it's the beat that's the heart in New York City. Why do you keep saying that? Are you trying to just word it different times? They're getting them all on camera, Carol. Yeah, well, theater, theater's, you know, the New York is a body, and theater is the heart that makes the blood go through it. Do you need me to say it in a different way, guys?

10:50Ben Mandelker: She's just really trying to get, like, that Huey Lewis musical onto the schedule. Hey, guys, what about the heart of rock and roll for music? I think we could really do it well. It's time for a commercial. It's time for a Crappens commercial. FX's American Horror Story returns for an unrivaled 13th installment with the iconic horrors you love to fear and an all-star cast reprising fan favorite roles. Light your candles, draw your pentagrams, and prepare for a supreme surprise. FX's American Horror Story 13, now streaming on Hulu. Therapy's biggest impact doesn't show up in some dramatic breakthrough.

11:36It shows up in the smallest moments. You bite your tongue instead of escalating. You put your phone down instead of firing off that text. You say what you actually mean instead of what would hurt someone else the most. Nobody applauds those moments, but they quietly change your life. That's what growing feels like. And that's exactly what Grow Therapy is here for. Grow is therapy that works, covered by insurance. Sessions average$21 with insurance and some pay as little as$0 depending on their plan. There are no subscriptions, no long-term commitments. You just pay per session. Grow connects you with thousands of high-quality licensed therapists across the U.S.

12:16offering both virtual and in-person sessions nights and weekends. You can search by what matters, like insurance, specialty, identity, or availability. And you can book a therapy session in minutes and begin in as little as two days, not the national 48-day average. See if you could pay as little as$0 for therapy in seconds at growtherapy.com slash ACAST. That's growtherapy.com slash ACAST. growtherapy.com slash ACAST. Availability and coverage vary by state and insurance plan. the arts particularly broadway in the theater is the heartbeat of new york city we know and the gala is in a way is a way that we can raise money for the theater so now erica facetimes yes it's a heartbeat so erica facetimes and say hi carol it's me erica well obviously i invited erica because she's rich and i want to get her money so Hi, Erica.

13:18Are you going to be coming to the theater? It's the heartbeat of New York City. She's like, oh, yeah. I can't go because, as everybody knows, film trumps theater. And I have to go to the Devil Wears Prada premiere. Do you have to?

13:34Ben Mandelker: She's like, I mean, Ann and her husband invited me, you know, invited me and Ankh. Like? And the gay's like, like, Ann Ann? Are we talking about the same Ann? Carol's like. Ann Hathaway. Does she like theater? Wait a second. Anne, Anne? Do you mean Anne of Green Gables? I thought that was a fictional person. Anne Hase. Gosh, I haven't heard from her in a while. I should probably call her. No, it's Anne Hathaway. It is Anne Hathaway. Oh, well, Anne Hathaway supports Off-Broadway. It's very important. Tell Anne. I mean, come on. It's not like Meryl invited you. wow Anne Hathaway catches a stray out of nowhere from Carol who cares if Anne Hathaway invites you the real cat is if Meryl does it Meryl do you like the heartbeat of Broadway so Aaron's like yeah no I'm going to the Devil Wears Prada so sorry sorry so then we see now we have a sad scene with Cyan or Aunt Sophia I love Aunt Sophia because she's like really new yorkish you know and um you know size we met her before but si reintroduces her and that basically she was like a mother to her and they're talking about um they walk they're walking um along the water and she's like what is that out there what is that a dinghy what is that a yacht what is that a water taxi yeah she says is that a water taxi she's like ah it's a fairy not ma auntie yeah sophia it's a fairy so then so and sophia is basically like you know what when you're in the wrong relationship it's lonelier than being alone because in your relationship i have not seen you happy in a long time never any affection yeah there's no affection but like why would you want to stay in a relationship with no affection i mean come on why are you being so crazy when you're nuts and sophie i'm nuts Si.

15:40Yeah, Si's like, yeah, I don't give him any affection. I don't know why he's staying here. It's ridiculous. Fucking idiot. And let me tell you when it really died. It was my birthday. And he took me out to this gorgeous dinner. It was so nice. Expensive. Beautiful. And then we had really great sex after. Oh, okay then. Okay then, Si. You go, Si. Yeah, and then I thought, okay, things are back on track. And then I get the credit card bill. He put that debt on my credit card bill. And that's when I said, this is over that's a pretty good reason and i think that that would stand up in any court that one yeah i'd get rid of him that's bad i love answer no i want to divorce him yeah and it feels like you're

16:21Ben Mandelker: lying what oh my god oh god no so then they start talking about size mom and we sort of learn more this is sort of an evolving not an evolving story but we've learned a little bit every season and And what we learn is that she lived with them. And at one point, David and Cy went off on a little weekend or a vacation. And her mom was a disaster. And the dogs were – she never let the dogs out. They had pooped and peed all over the house. The house was in disarray. And the kids were there. And they realized that they can't have the mom around the kids anymore. So they put her out and they put her into a shelter.

17:01Ben Mandelker: And then three months after that, she died. And so Psy carries this enormous guilt, and then there also was never any sort of conversation with her husband about it. So it's been this thing that's kind of like hung over them. And I don't know if it was what contributed to the spark going away. It sounded like the spark was away before the kids were there. but it was a thing that just added even more like trauma or just badness to this relationship rot yeah so it was sad it was sad yeah it's a sad i don't it's it was really sad really depressing scene and we have heard this stuff about the mom before she's she's mentioned this stuff and it's it is terrible it's a terrible story i have nothing to make fun of with that well i will say i think the spark is gone because the husband is kind of a user and he's like oh i'm retiring and my wife is making all this money influencing so she could just pay the bills now and she's like no that's not exactly bye um so then we go over to jessel's apartment and jessel is speaking of husbands quitting to ride their coattails their wives yeah he's sitting on his laptop as usual and he comes into the room to shoot with her.

18:22And she's like, hey, Povet, what are you up to today? He's like, nothing. She goes, nothing. All right, well, listen, my stylist came in and we've got to get rid of a lot of these clothes because I've worn them for five minutes. So what do we do with that? What do we do with these things? He's like, donate them. To who, though? Who's going to want these? God, if only I need someone with popcorn ceilings desperate enough to take these hideous cast-offs.

18:49Ben Mandelker: so he's like um i don't know you could take it to the salvation army or goodwill she goes great you can do that he fell into the trap so um he's she's like so so where are you at with your influencing thing your fried chicken sandwich hunting that you're doing do you have a name for your company do you have a name for your blog do you done everything because you know i am a marketing whiz. I do PR. I can help. He's like, nope, don't need to. I'm like, uh-oh, this is bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad news. This is not good. Povet, don't – this is what you call a midlife crisis, by the way. Don't quit your day job for food influencing until that food influencing is bringing in a huge amount of money.

19:34Ben Mandelker: You are not Keith Lee, okay? You're Povet. Do not yeah go back to work it's like any other dream you have to do that in your spare time until it becomes yeah something that can support you so uh haley's parents house okay so now we go over to haley's and haley and her mom have a wacky bird watching scene oh wait was there something can i just say i loved the the the the little clip they showed of pop it doing his food influencing think he's like well this chicken breast tastes good i like the sauce i give it 8.5 out of 10. i was like oh gosh you quit your job to give reviews like that oh gosh i was mortified now excuse me everyone while i go work on my sub stack where i talk about a candy bar i ate in norway

20:23let's go to haley's uh her and her mom have binoculars and they're doing like a wacky bird scene uh back wacky bird watching scene um was and it's very choreographed and i still laughed i loved it and um hayley's like i could see the neighbors through the window they're having sex

20:43Ben Mandelker: where were they it looked like they were up in westchester or something they're probably like in scarsdale i wish they had said where they were because they did not look like they were in the city still and so uh her mom's like so how's therapy going she's like it's going well she fills my xanax prescription you know she's like yeah does she chat with you yeah we chat all the time you know i know all about her i'm gonna start charging her 75 dollars 5.75 an hour because sometimes when i tell her stuff though she'll be like oh my heart breaks for you gosh it and then she'll say things like i can't believe my client is the person whose scandal with john goslin has lived in my head for the past 20 years wow how lucky am i to be with someone so famous and so full of scandal.

21:26Ma, my story is so depressing that I depressed the therapist and the mom's just ignoring her looking for birds like, oh, yeah, well, I don't want to talk about this, honey. Now, but therapy is going well. You know, she's like, I feel I feel like I connect with people who felt bullied, ostracized like me, ma. And she's like, really? Oh, well, I'm basically the most bullied person in this family. Yeah, I feel like Aaron. Aaron is a bully, Ma. She's like, really? What did Aaron say about me? Oh, God. What did she say? Now what do I have to deal with?

22:00Ben Mandelker: She said, well, she went in. She said, you know, you're just a homewrecker. Well, you're just a woman that ruined a family of like eight or something like that. And, you know, the mom's like, well, I tell you, the way I cried after you said that to me, I just, my heart breaks for me. I'm glad you're here to console me. it's just reminded me what everybody's done to me for two decades you know they don't understand it's not something you could just like whoops get over it's not some instagram post she's like yes it has been very very hurtful for me oh gosh i can't even go on the facebook anymore it's the way it hurt me haley's like she's more of the same stuff like well that because of what the tablets put out there the trauma oh my god it still hurts when people take a cheap shot and And that's what Erin did.

22:48Ben Mandelker: She put salt in the wound. And for her to compare that to calling her jam, I should have called her spam. Because I think it's high in sodium and it lasts forever, which they always say is the meanest type of people live the longest and have high blood pressure from sodium. So there. I'm like, okay, let's stick with the jam. Her reads are so stupid and they make me laugh every time. It's like, you know what I'm going to do? I'm going to go on TV and call a spam. Boom. Boom. And her mom's like, well, you know, honey, no one can understand the things that we went through. We went through it. We.

23:26We. I went through it. Which, you know, you were there. But, you know, I'll still say it's a we because you were there while I was being traumatized. And it was really hard. I mean, you know, I remember being at the bathroom at JFK. And someone from outside said, are you Lauren Glassman? glassman and i said no i'm not lauren glassman and i did a shuffle ball change i flushed the toilet and i went out of there covering my head with my purse i still remember boarding that

23:53Ben Mandelker: delta flight and as i was checking in they said thank you lauren glassman and i said why why do you have to torment me like this and they said no we're just trying to process your ticket and show you your seat my seat you already know where i sit you're just stalking me i mean this scandal that took over my entire life. I'm still traumatized. She's like, well, during that time, I wouldn't say my support from my family was great. I mean, it was all about my mom. My mom would say how hard it is for her. Oh, my daughter wouldn't say how hard it was for me. She couldn't see how hard it was for me.

24:27Everything was about my mother, how much it affected her, and how all the magazines talked about her. She just made a tip-top about all the magazine covers she was on.

24:38Ben Mandelker: Haley's like I couldn't even get the tampons at Duane Reade they just reported back she's like I remember I remember getting those tampons god what was it I must have been 59 at that time I'd get those tampons and they'd be like look at this Lauren Glassman getting tampons at Duane Reed it was horrible for me I'm so glad you you can understand what I went through sweetie it was horrible for me when you couldn't get tampons I went through so much newspaper It was just so bad for us. Yeah, but you know what? My mom was good friends with John and wanted me to date him. And I thought it was a little odd.

25:11You know, what would you want for your daughter to date someone with eight kids? But I've always wanted to make my mom happy and proud. So I did what she said. Okay, listen. I stand. Your mom does seem like a complete narcissist. I completely understand how that would be traumatic for you. I'm not with. And generally, you know, I stand for blaming our parents for everything. I'm a big believer. Like, that's my right as a child. Just as it's my parents' right to blame their parents for everything, which they do. So that's like a good old tradition. However, dating John Gosselin with eight children, you can't put that on your mom.

25:48I'm sorry. You weren't that. I know. You weren't 10. It wasn't like an arranged marriage.

25:54Ben Mandelker: Come on. but that being said i really appreciate this new mom archetype that we're getting on this show i mean we sort of had it before with mama d but this is a very sort of like specific evolution of the mom living vicariously to her daughter obviously the mom wanted to date john goslin like he's famous and i think she's probably drawn to that so she's like well i'll have my daughter date him and i'll be like i'm dating him and then her daughter gets you know entrenched in scandal and the mom is the one saying that she's in the scandal, it's actually hilarious and amazing. Like, this is the camp that I want from Roni.

26:28Ben Mandelker: It's living through your children, and it's just in the sicker way, you know? It's really sick. Like, my mom always really wanted me to be in a sport, you know? And so she made me get in all these sports, and I would do terrible. And she would take that as a... It was like she lost the game, you know? She'd just be like, the whole way home, she'd be like, oh, I'm so upset. I'm like, what are you upset about? She's like, we lost. We lost the game. You weren't even in the game. Yes, exactly. So I love that this representation of the parents living vicariously through the children is here through Haley's mom in this really, really twisted way.

27:04The sport that she wants to get fame through is fucking John Gosselin because he's on a TLC show or something. It's sad. I was actually grateful for my baseball trauma after watching this. I was like, damn.

27:19Ben Mandelker: yeah i mean people don't remember that like at the peak of john and eight plus a john and kate plus eight like they were incredibly famous and so i think it's very clear that mom was like date john because he's the most famous person right now and like you would be the guy you'd be dating a really famous person like that would be really cool like that's clearly what she was thinking and but i just love that she's like oh what we what both went through what we both went through Yeah. Like, it's hilarious. And the look on Haley's face the whole time. And she doesn't even argue with her. She's like, uh-huh.

27:54Uh-huh. You know, it's just so traumatic for us, but hopefully we'll get over it one day. She's like, oh, great talking to you, Ma. Commercials. Here comes one right now.

28:09Therapy's biggest impact doesn't show up in some dramatic breakthrough. It shows up in the smallest moments. You bite your tongue instead of escalating. You put your phone down instead of firing off that text. You say what you actually mean instead of what would hurt someone else the most. Nobody applauds those moments, but they quietly change your life. That's what growing feels like. And that's exactly what Grow Therapy is here for. Grow is therapy that works, covered by insurance. Sessions average$21 with insurance, and some pay as little as$0 depending on their plan. There are no subscriptions, no long-term commitments.

28:46You just pay per session. Grow connects you with thousands of high-quality, licensed therapists across the U.S., offering both virtual and in-person sessions, nights and weekends. You can search by what matters, like insurance, specialty, identity, or availability. And you can book a therapy session in minutes and begin in as little as two days, not the national 48-day average. See if you could pay as little as$0 for therapy in seconds at growtherapy.com slash ACAST. That's growtherapy.com slash ACAST. growtherapy.com slash ACAST. Availability and coverage vary by state and insurance plan. This January, Bare Knuckle Fighting Championship takes over the ocean.

29:31The inaugural Bruise Cruise sails from Miami to the Bahamas aboard the Norwegian Jewel. Three straight days with pool deck bare knuckle fights in the Caribbean. Massive parties, beach events, DJs, cigars, tequila tastings, and nonstop action. The lineup reveals coming soon. Cabins are disappearing fast, and the prices won't stay this low. Reserve your spot with just$200 down at BKFSEA.com.

29:59So then we go to Martha Stewart with her publicist, Susan, and they're the same person. They're basically the same person. They both talk like this. It's like, well, we've got to go over the schedule. I can't believe you're going to go here. I can't believe I'm going to have to go there. It's just so busy. It's such a busy life being a rich, rich woman. Is that your dog? Bring her here. That's my child. Bring her closer. Bring her closer.

30:25Ben Mandelker: This woman, Susan, by the way, has, what's the word, like a patrician voice, like a blue blood voice. She is, you're right, the same person. She has her hair like Martha. she is fashioned after like more like a like a younger martha she is doing clearly like this is what she has to do to keep her job and she has she is so waspy that i'm like in love because you know i love you know i love a waspy bitch on these shows and she is and she says such snotty things through this scene and so does martha that of course i'm like i'm like i could not be happier so they're both sitting it was at seraphina or something like that and they're right there on the street i mean martha huge international celebrity just sitting right there this woman passes by with her child and the woman i'm like does this woman even realize that martha stewart has just randomly given her child water please give the child water by the way acting like this child is in freaking mad max like please give the child some water it needs its water it's like i think the child's okay like it's not it's not a dog it's a child whoa what is that your daughter It's my son.

31:29Oh, okay. What's their name? David. All right, Stephen. Go ahead and take some of this water.

31:38Ben Mandelker: It was so Lucille Bluthy. It's like go see a Star Wars. And the kid walks away. The kid does take the water, and the kid drinks it and walks away. And the mom's like, say thank you. I'm like, get us the hell out of here. The kid goes, thank you. She's like, okay, Susan, get that water and move it far away so nobody touches it. poor child water oh child water poor child we don't we it's nice to donate but we don't want the donations coming back to us put out the very edge of the table but closer to Daisy because she's the poorest of us so Daisy I don't think you can catch poor if you're already poor right Susan just put it by Daisy put it by Daisy so then um Daisy arrives and she's she's late because she says Dale has the week off, which I think was her way of establishing a precedent that we do give people a week off, Martha.

32:32Ben Mandelker: Yeah. Oh, God. She drove yourself? Oh, disgusting. Why would you drive yourself? She's like, well, it's Martha. Okay, we can't all have a driver 24 hours a day. All right. Well, what's cheaper? Is it paying for the tickets that you're getting or paying for a driver? Because you're going to have to do the financials on that. Do you have to have sex with him? in addition and susan's like martha well i never know what days she's up to what with those popcorn ceilings that she has i mean she's pretty much running a brothel in there now that's why it's so cheap so they laugh now they're going over martha's calendar well you know i've got this usa today thing here katie kirk wants me on tuesday uh dan rather i'm not even really sure if this is on the news but that man really just won't stop calling i have a meeting with suzanne vega she wants to do some sort of special thing to celebrate Luca upstairs and then I guess there's something with friendlies the last friendlies in Connecticut will be doing some sort of ribbon breaking there so you're gonna trying to get through and does anybody know an an I'm not really sure who am is and just left me a text message it said I hate theater please make sure I'm not invited into any more theater events Susan please write back in and say I won't need her ticket because meryl invited me first so just to remind her so daisy's like uh daisy's like now martha don't forget next week i'm going away because i've got to do the vacation for roni and martha's like well i'm getting a little pissed off i have to say she's like why because i don't know daisy when i need daisy and martha's sort of like sort of smiling but you know she's not joking She's like, no, you're mine.

34:20Ben Mandelker: I own you. When I need my hair and makeup, you need to do my hair and makeup. You're my 24-hour hair and makeup person. And then Susan's like, yeah, know where your bread is buttered. Know where your bread is buttered. And she, like, laughs. But I was like, oh, she's serious, too. I was like, I love that. She's like, know where your bread is buttered. Like, don't you dare. Don't you dare leave Martha out in the cold. And Daisy says Normally I don't really have work-life balance I mean like I had a baby and then five days later After my C-section I was at work So you know what after 17 years I've earned my girl's trip Okay Have you though?

35:00Ben Mandelker: I don't think so Look at Susan's face Susan's like uh-uh She like pulls out the scroll Like a magic scroll that says As far as I can tell you're only Three years into your 260 year contract with martha stewart so listen i'm susan and my daughter is getting married right now she's at the chapel right now am i there no i'm here where it's important serafina with martha watching martha feed poor children what we do by the way watch out for that child water so then she's like daisy starts talking about well my kids start camp soon and god the price you won't believe how much they're charging for camp now eleven thousand dollars and martha goes oh that's good That's a good price.

35:47You know, Martha's like, I'm so influenced by Martha's life. I mean, she's rich, you know, so I'd like I go on her private plane. Then what am I supposed to like, like Southwest after that? I'm not going to do it. I'm not going to do it. Like, I really, I literally feel like I should live Martha's life. And so Daisy starts hinting around. She's like, you know, I love, I love soccer. And Susan's like, oh, yeah, well, you guys should get tickets to FIFA. and Martha's like yeah I have those already to the final mm-hmm yeah I got one they're like forty to sixty thousand dollars you should ask your friend Erica that's who got me mine her husband got me mine pretty expensive and

36:26Ben Mandelker: and she's like well well can I go she's like hmm she's like she's like well like she's like I mean how did normal people go to these games she goes they don't don't she stares at her like she says you don't you don't sorry didn't have the quote there but it was it was like how do normal people do this you don't dear and okay it was like why she's like why do you a hair and makeup person think you would ever get a chance at sitting at the five of vinyl and i love that she was like yeah well you know he's got a i got some tickets you know he's got to take care of his clients first which is me like you're not a client of this wealthy man well she's talking about anchor right yeah but she says what kind of client is she is she like a built rewards member she's like i'll get points on my mortgage maybe there's some sort of arrangement with like her properties or her products with the built rewards but like she basically is like daisy you're not going to get a ticket because i'm a client i'm a more important person than you and i'm also martha stewart so good luck you'll watch it on tv with everyone else yeah the joy that martha took in poor shaming uh her hair and makeup lady i thought was so fun i enjoyed it so then we go to the new group annual gala it's the theater gala you know what i've always thought about the theater it's the heartbeat of new york city

38:01Ben Mandelker: so they're sort of gathering hayley walks in and just ignores erin which is really satisfying and erin's like this is a classic classic hayley move pretending that i don't exist like i'm just some jam at a diner well i'll tell you i really hope that hayley's stoned tonight because i do not want to deal with another episode like passover she clearly had not hit the pen see that read was boring that is a jam that is a diner jam read that's a jam read that's an erin jam right there um also you started the stuff at passover so hey hey can i ask you a question because you just came in and you didn't say hello to me like what's happening i don't got it you were um an incredible asshole to her and you didn't apologize and she sat there crying the whole time that's what happened right and then out of out of nowhere totally unexpected on the heels of a martha stewart scene here comes jennifer tilly i was like what what did we do i was like bravo is really trying to win us back they're like we know we gave you two shitty seasons of new york and it was awful so here martha stewart and jennifer tilly and back to back scenes in an episode hello non-theater people it's me jennifer tilly so good to see you thank you so much for coming to see the theater which i've always considered the heartbeat of new york city hey so haley's like oh my god i just want to play the banjos on your boobs and they're like i think you mean bongos so she just starts she just starts touching jennifer's boobs like left and right and she's like tapping them and squeezing them which is kind of inappropriate but jennifer doesn't seem to mind you wouldn't be the first one that's for sure all right everybody great to see you i haven't i have non-lesser real housewives to speak to and then just like that she's gone so then uh they all go to their table and it's time for the auction but as the auction's going on um hayley and erin um start to sort of like discuss what happened at passover so hayley's like you know how i'm going to get you i'm gonna i'm you know what i'm gonna have you like this i'm gonna take this paddle in your hand and when they say ten thousand dollars i'm gonna lift up your hands you have to pay ten thousand dollars and of course erin's like why are you trying to get me.

40:27Oh, come on, Aaron. When you say something that you know was hurtful. Well, it's not a secret that I brought to light. No one's accusing you of bringing a secret to light. They're accusing you of shaming people with their 20-year-old mistakes.

40:41Ben Mandelker: Yes, exactly. And Aaron's like, yeah, I said I would rather be boring than that. Yes, I said that. But I said jam. I said jam, Yeah, that's very offensive. So then Carol and Eric are starting to get annoyed. They're like, shh, be quiet. Be quiet. You can't hear the heartbeat of theater throughout the city. But like you said it just from there, I was like, how could she do this to me? Okay, guys, we need donations. I know this party probably costs$500 ,000 to throw, but we're hoping to raise$520 ,000 so we could at least get some pencils for a theater kid. Okay. Because, Erin, you went for me. So that was, like, obviously, like, so there was, like, that was so obviously there was, like, still, like, a lot of hurt there, you know?

41:33And Carol's like, guys, quiet, quiet. Shush, shush. You were talking about me and a million people. I mean, what did you expect from me? Jam on the table, Erin. You said I said you were useless. Never did I say that. I would never say that. Jam is useful, Erin.

41:51Ben Mandelker: It's boring, but it's useful. It's like, well, it's kind of like the same thing. No, it's not. Quiet! Stop fucking talking! God, you don't have to get one-on-one! And Aaron's like, well, I'm offended. Shut your mouth and raise your battle! That's the instructions! So a woman behind them gets all pissed off at Jessel. She's like, excuse me, this is very disrespectful. This is an important program helping children! And Jessel's like, ew. God. Who's this person? She probably has popcorn spinnings, too. That woman was hilarious. She looked like Kathy Hilton's assistant. She's like, this is important.

42:29Ben Mandelker: You guys are really out of line right now. It's like, gross. I said jam, Aaron. No, look at me. Look at me. It's a big it's all nonsense, Aaron. Zip it! Zip it! Well, okay. I didn't know I was gonna get you that upset. Okay, Hayley? I didn't. I wouldn't have done it. I didn't sleep that night. Mostly because I was thinking about how my house has turned into Hurricane Katrina. Where's my sympathy? You know, maybe I went a little hard, but I didn't think it was going to be this thing. And he was like, you think a jam comment is below the belt when compared to something that almost took my life, honestly?

43:11Ben Mandelker: Well, I didn't know it almost took your life. It ruined my fucking life. And I was just waiting for her mom to pop up and be like, yes, I mean, it's a miracle that I'm standing here right now.

43:25Haley, I get that it ruined your life and it was traumatic and stuff, but you talk about it every five minutes. Like, come on. I mean, I think Erin does have a good point here because Erin shows us her phone. She's like, look at these TikToks. It's like TikTok after TikTok. Look, look at me in this magazine. Oh, what a chore. Look at this. 20 years ago. i'm still tormented which is why i still have the magazines in this box to make tic tacs tic toks out of you know 20.

43:51Ben Mandelker: so then hayley basically is like you know what like we're not gonna keep doing this okay we're just we're gonna find a happy footing we're just gonna gain each other's trust again and so they sort of like reach this loose tentative peace and everything and um and then meanwhile the auction's still going on and um carol's like carol's just like clapping loudly and just like oh my god you clapped like a seal did carolyn beset like that i can't imagine she did okay are you guys okay now i can't tell if you're best friends or if you hate each other and aaron's like me neither and that's where it ends that brings us to the end of real housewives of new york city so funny really doing great job with this show So that's it.

44:44Ben Mandelker: Everyone, please come see us. Tickets for our live shows, which start this weekend, are at WatchWhatCrapins.com. We want to see all of your smiling faces. And just a programming reminder, our Salt Lake City recap will be up Saturday night, and our OC recap will be up Sunday night. and we have a bonus episode coming to you later this week and we will talk about the traders so it's really fun and we will talk to you that's at patreon.com slash watch what crappens and we will talk to you on the next episode bye everyone bye watch what crappens would like to thank it's premium sponsors ain't no thing like alice and king our way is the amber way it's the foster and the furious it's amanda foster it's always automatic with ashley auto put your hands together for carly clap get on the right foot with chrissy offett she's not just a sheila she's a daniela itchals we never miss her call it's diane call big yay it's emily gotier aaron mcnicholas she don't miss no trickless hava nagila weber you'll never hide from heidi eleanor jones it's no bs we love hugo es jamie she has no last namey zipped some scotch with Jessica Trotz.

45:58She's our pal-a-ger. It's Karen Gallagher.

46:01Ben Mandelker: She's our favorite streamer, Caroline Peacock. Kristen the Piston Anderson. Let's give a kisserino to Lisa Lino. Fresh as a daisy, it's Maisie McHenry. Come again? We're obsessed with Margaret O 'Halloran. Megan Berg. You can't have a burger without the berg. I love-a-ya, Olivia Williamson. She's the lady of the house, it's Rachel Sherouse. She sure is swell, it's Raquel. Yes, we canna, It's Sedana. Cast a spell with Shannon Spellman. Let's share with Sharon Eldridge. Darn Skippy, it's Tippi. And our super premium sponsors. She's VVIP, it's Amanda V. Somebody get us 10 cc's of Betsy MD. We're taking the gold with Brenda Silva.

46:45Ben Mandelker: Let's get real with Caitlin O 'Neill. Put us on a stretcher, it's Charlotte Fletcher. Don't get salty with Christine Pepper. Can't have a meal without the Emily sides. Who, what, why, where, and Gwen Pentland. Nobody holds a candle to Jamie Kendall. We got our wish, it's Jen Plisch. My favorite Murdo, Karen McMurdo. Let's get savage with Laura Wildman. In the study with a candlestick, it's Leslie Peacock. We're ride or die for Lisa Ryder Barron. She's a whiz, it's Liz Sarthy. Always killing it, it's Lola Alkalani. Roger that, it's Marlis Rogers. The incredible edible Matthews sisters. She eases our woes, it's Melissa St.

47:25Rose She's our princess, it's Rebecca Prince

47:28Ben Mandelker: She's the Queen Bee, it's Sarah Lemke We cannot tell a lie, it's Sarah Talafson Yes we canna, it's Savannah Shannon, out of a cannon, Anthony Please don't stop, it's Solian Pop Let's take off with Tam LaPlane Strike a pose, it's Tori Rose She ain't no shrinking Violet Kuchar We love you guys This episode is sponsored by Nature Raised Farms. There are so many complicated things on Bravo. Like opening the front door on Summer House. Or figuring out how to wear a Linfinity dress. Or understanding Tom Schwartz's purpose on the Valley. In a world full of confusing choices, thank goodness for Nature Raised Farms.

48:08Ben Mandelker: They believe that food shouldn't be complicated. Especially chicken. But the freezer aisle often makes it that way. Too many options, too many additives, too many compromises. Do I like complicated chicken? No. No? Chicken should be fun. Complicated chicken, not fun. Chicken should meet a higher standard. And Nature Raised Farms is free from gluten, dairy, and soy. There are no seed oils and no artificial ingredients. Also, Nature Raised Farms chicken is a good source of fiber and only between 8 to 12 grams of fat per serving dependent on the product. Chicken, that's just chicken. When food is that simple, there's a quiet joy in it.

48:46Ben Mandelker: And we love quiet joy. Like the moment Erika Jayne puts down her microphone. Keep your life simple with your new favorite chicken. Nature Raised Farms Chicken. Because chicken shouldn't be complicated.

49:20Ben Mandelker: and launch. And if you want a hand, our podcast specialists are there to help you launch with confidence. This is podcast advertising without barriers. Get started at acast.com slash advertise.