#3565 Real Housewives Ultimate Girls Trip S509 Part Two: Leave No Bluestone Unturned

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2:11Ben Mandelker: What happens when there's so much that happens? It's so funny. Watch what happens. Oh, I mean, don't you mean to. Who cares what happens when there's so much that happens? Hello, and welcome to Watch What Crappens, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to talk about. This is part two of the recap. If you missed part one, go check out your podcast feed. It's right there. And without further ado, let's get right back into the recap.

2:37Ronnie Karam: So, Kyle, sorry, I was skipping ahead. Melissa and Teresa say hi to each other. And Kyle's like, oh my God, they're on the band. And Teresa and Melissa really are working this to get their show back. Because Andy was like, your show's too toxic. We're going to fire half of you. And listen, it's either Melissa or Teresa or you guys make up. And so now they're like, oh, hello, Teresa. Oh, hi. That's my sister-in-law. So we're going to be close forever. Like, it's super awkward energy. Still hate each other. still hate each other i need it i need the hatred back but good for you guys for making up for the next nine episodes of your season okay we also almost breezed by a moment when kyle was

3:22Ben Mandelker: being shitty to melissa and being like you know what we should do we should just like all share dresses and save money meaning i'll buy them because i'm rich and then you guys can borrow them from me and heather's like that would be a good business like rent the runway more like rent the housewife thank you alfredo no no no you're not allowed into the heat stand in the

3:44Ronnie Karam: snow thank you oh i'm sorry girls you can't take him home i've already been renting alfredo that's already a business that's already a business rent the fredo um so kyle is she goes up to alex mccord who listen alex just did a 20 minute performance piece with shoes on her hand that I don't think I'm ever going to forget. And I know that Kyle's not. Because Kyle's like, Oh, hi. Wow. You literally look the same as season one. And you don't have shoes on your hands today. That's great. Good to see you. That bitch is wearing my dress from season, from Irene. Awkward.

4:29Ben Mandelker: Remember, we need you to do the Real Housewives of Australia. Because Alex is like, I don't know, maybe it's the drinking water.

4:34Ronnie Karam: um so now here comes she's never heard that there's a real house or two real housewives of australia kyle shady shady and i would love to see you try that shit if they brought gina over here or janet roach from the real housewives of melbourne you try that shit like why who are you who are you you insignificant ass hair of a bitch i'm a barrister yeah shut my fuck up

4:59Ben Mandelker: That would have been amazing if Gina was there. But now we have the freshmen. Here comes the Real Housewives of Rhode Island. So Dolores welcomes in Joellen and Kelsey and Liz and Rosie and Rula. And we know, and what's her face shows up. Ashley is, she's also in the mix there. Was there anyone else who was, I think the entire Rhode Island, oh, and Alicia was there. I think everyone from Rhode Island showed up. They definitely were like, we're going to get the entire cast here. And it's kind of funny because no one knows who they are because they haven't aired yet. All anyone knows is a trailer probably at that point.

5:35Ben Mandelker: And they've maybe, I think they were, they were at BravoCon. So like they just walk in and I was actually thinking like, this is kind of crazy. You're, you're a real housewife, but you're untested. No one knows anything about you. And you're just stepping into this like sorority of these women. And then like, that's gotta, that's gotta have been like a totally surreal thing to be part of.

5:56Ronnie Karam: and they come in and they are doing the audition thing which people do on these shows all the time like when it's your first season you're auditioning and everyone's really trying so hard and it is hilarious because no one else really is like they've all been here like oh maybe i'll have a moment later or whatever but they're like oh really what did you you know they're trying really hard it's very community theater minded and they're in like the big city you know and it was cute it was awkward um rosie comes off as totally like i mean they just all come off as so rosie's chewing gum how to say like unprofessional because it's a reality show you know what i mean but they do come off like very untrained yeah you know i think it was really shitty that they had no one from

6:43Ben Mandelker: dallas there or if there was someone from dallas they didn't show them because dallas is like that's a franchise it was on for five seasons it was not like dc that was there and gone it's not i mean like dubai had representation from ion i think dallas should have had they could have thrown deandra in there i know they probably don't want to associate with leanne anymore they could have thrown in tiffany moon they could have thrown deandra they could have even thrown in a carrie duber they could have thrown stephanie holman like there would have there would have been quote unquote safe choices and i just think that's like kind of shitty because there are those of us who still really love dallas and hope that it does come back as well and i think it should have been

7:19Ronnie Karam: represented in the mix in the mix you know dallas ended so problematically and in such a bigly problematic way i mean by god they were you know you had cameron and you had uh cameron westcott and cameron's husband and her brother-in-law just being vile online i mean really really bad so i mean i can kind of see it but this is housewives and there are so many problematic people. I think I would have been more offended if they brought someone like Ramona back, but not them. But at least Ramona was still kicked out too, you know?

7:54Ben Mandelker: I still think they should have represented. It wasn't like the show was like, it was like a legitimate Housewives. It was on for five seasons. It needed to be there. I also think Caroline Stanbury should have been there as well alongside Aon, because I think that Caroline is a big star for Bravo, although she didn't really start as a housewife. But either way there should have been at least one person from Dallas and I actually even think that like it would have been really cool if they brought just one person from DC like acknowledge acknowledge that like the tapestry of housewives that's there like why are you being cheap and like why are you like just not why are you not doing that like like this is for the fans and I think like we'd like to one thing that we'd love is when you get like a deep cut because that's that's like for the fans people who are there who watch it all as an acknowledgement of like, hey, we see you, we know we're like honoring your memories and we're putting this person in here.

8:48Ben Mandelker: That's why people were so excited that Alex McCord was there because she's a deep cut and we thought we were going to get her on Girl Trip a few years ago, then that one got shelved. Like, give us, like, see it all the way through.

9:00Ronnie Karam: Yeah. So Rula comes up and I mean, this makes it especially, I mean, Rula's there and Rula's just like, hi. Yeah. I'm Rula. And Vick is like, oh, yeah, I don't know who you are. Who are you? Who are you? Put down my suitcase. Why are you in my room? We're in a house. Listen, I'm Rula from Rhode Island. I'm new. Nice to meet you. I've been watching you since I was a little baby. So is a little girl. Just big. I was watching. He's like, wow. You're a very old baby. Who is this person? Who is this person?

9:38Ben Mandelker: And Heather's like, none of these are on our show. So you can like anyone that's walking by, Vicky. It's okay.

9:47Ronnie Karam: You don't have to be mean to the new girls from other casts. So then Lou goes up to Ashley and says hello. And Ash is like, oh, my God, so good to meet you. Oh, my gosh, you're such an icon. It's one person who can't sing on key to another. You know, listen, we have both slaughtered Roberta Flack songs at some point in our lives. so just wanted to say thanks for paving the way i appreciate i appreciate what you just did there

10:16Ben Mandelker: ronnie but unfortunately i think this is the less interesting ashley from rhode island not the ashley which also doesn't make sense because they met on love hotel so ashley is ashley's kissing the ring she's being smart she's like it's so good to meet you i don't know why i'm crying right now and i was like oh god you're gorgeous you have the beauty of a woman who's second place to a latte

10:39Ronnie Karam: Thank you for acknowledging that.

10:44Ronnie Karam: You were such a queen slay. Oh, my God. She's like, well, welcome to Real Housewives. You know, you're still, you're obviously season one still chomping gum in my face. Good for you. She's like, oh, my God. It's literally been the scariest experience of my entire life. Don't be scared. Don't be scared. You know what I always say? Don't be scared. Be fierce. All right. Be fierce, girls. She's like, oh, my God. Slay.

11:10Ben Mandelker: Listen, we all know that when things get tough, you just have to rise above it. Literally rise above it. Oh, you don't levitate? I guess that's just a me thing.

11:19Ronnie Karam: Ha ha! Well, I don't really know anything about Rhode Island housewives. We haven't been on TV yet. We're almost supposed to know. Tiny place. They all sound like they're from New Jersey, but who doesn't? Am I right?

11:33Ben Mandelker: Hey, everyone. Hey, whoa. Oh my God. Have the bitches made the blue sound manner? So Luanne and Dorinda are wearing the same exact dress. And I don't know if it was planned or it was an accident, but I think it was an accident because Luanne's like, Oh my God.

11:54Ben Mandelker: And then they like sort of like hug and they're laughing. And then Luanne's talking about how they've come so far since that famous night, which then means we see the clips famously of Giovanni! Giovanni!

12:07Ronnie Karam: Giovanni! Well, it looks like all the Rhode Island girls are sitting together in the parlor. Oh, you don't want to be in the parlor room. Every time you go there, there's some drama. Do you remember that part where it just cuts away from Carol? No one remembers Carol. Okay, let's go try. Let's go over to Jessel.

12:28Ben Mandelker: Yeah, over at Jessel. And Jessel is talking to Melissa. She goes, oh, your nose looks great who did your nose and was like oh my god that was like a while ago she was like it was a while ago really she's yeah it was like a long time ago jess was like looks like a fresh nose to me but anyway we see a clip of jacqueline shading her for her nose and then we're back in the parlor you've had four nose lips or whatever whatever it was nose jobs so But the puzzle is exciting because the Rhode Island girls are in there and everyone wants to get the tea on the Rhode Island girls. They want to find out, like, what's going on.

13:06Ben Mandelker: They want to get the drama. And they also kind of want to, they want to kind of, like, you know, provoke them. It's very much kind of like freshman hazing, you know, like, they're all trying to figure out who's the cool girl, who's not the cool girl. So Kyle's like, so how are you guys enjoying or not enjoying this experience? I noticed that no one's wearing a dress that I've already worn. I don't know if I should be offended by that or to be unsurprised because you guys are much poorer than I am. So go on. Say something.

13:31Ronnie Karam: You're still on first season money, right? I got it. I got it. Well, if you ever want to wear something I've worn, just go to Melissa's closet. She's got knockoffs. Rilla's like, it's been fun, but it's been dicey. But did you show up authentic? Did you show up? Giselle, you're telling me to show up authentic? of all the

13:53Ben Mandelker: did you show up authentic and bring I don't know a hunk onto your show and pretend that he's your boyfriend for a season that kind of authentic

14:01Ronnie Karam: and Alicia's like yeah I did but that's why I'm a flip flop but I'm totally proud of it I'm a flip flop they're just looking at her like what? yeah flip flop I'm a flip flop I love a flip flop I love a flip flop

14:13Ben Mandelker: she probably actually we're thinking she means that she flipped and flopped on an issue she's probably like no I mean like the thing you put on your shoe it's like you know it's like comforting you put on your shoe and you can like walk some places I'm like that person I make it easier for you to walk places that's what I do

14:26Ronnie Karam: I'm between the big toe and the other the other ones

14:30Ben Mandelker: the big mama toe what's up

14:32Ronnie Karam: what's up and Joellen's like um well you had more fun than anyone in the whole cast she's so intense Joellen's like really always like giving her lines on stage she's like why is she

14:42Ben Mandelker: so much fun yeah I had the time I laugh except for that time I had to drive a car over a bridge that was not the time I laugh I almost hit someone again but whatever and that's why I can own it because like I like everybody. It's like, it's pretty good.

14:55Ronnie Karam: I was like, well, like it's hard, right? When you like people a bit, then they're also arguing, you know? You know what I mean? Like when you're in the middle, two friends. Yeah. Sorry. Sorry. I don't know what you're talking about. Well, you know, you know, you can also have like, you know, maybe you could have handled this differently or something. I mean, you do you. I'm just saying. And she's like, oh, I'm sorry. My whole foot turned this out. what are you talking about over there so Ashley's like you're seeing a flip flop vagina here

15:27Ben Mandelker: meanwhile Ashley she's like did you notice like Ashley's like behind like three rows of people she's like not even with everyone she's like hi new cast member here I will say that of all of us Rula is probably the one caramel macchiato oh sorry that's Jared who's just calling out from Rhode Island but Rula's probably the one that the most on her shoulders right now just want to say that and i don't want to cry calling up the coffee order oh my god

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18:42Ronnie Karam: And Rula's like, yeah, I was put in a position. It was very conflicting in my personal life. and they're just all looking at them like, can one of you make a sentence? Is there anyone on this cast who's going to be able to form it? I don't know what you're talking about.

18:57Ben Mandelker: So Portia's like,

18:58Ronnie Karam: did you feel supported by the other women on the show?

19:01Ben Mandelker: She's like, no. And then, so now Liz, in one of the precious few remaining Liz moments that we have,

19:08Ronnie Karam: she's like, ha, you didn't allow us to support you though. So don't say you didn't feel supported by us, ma. You didn't allow us in. Liz, you gotta stop throwing that at me You gotta stop You know what it is? I don't think I have to say it And I think once you all get to know me You'll see I'm genuine That's why they call me

19:33Ben Mandelker: Ruler Sorry, I didn't mean to get so excitable right there But I do wear my heart on my sleeve Look at me, emotional ruler Wearing her heart on her sleeve

19:49Ronnie Karam: Wow I'm crying again mmm wait a minute is that a heart on your sleeve for a flower that was a joke guys you can laugh at that all right noobs you guys

19:59Ben Mandelker: guys oh ha guys let her finish let her finish guys I'm their helpful big sister

20:06Ronnie Karam: hey intense possibly coke head over here ooh Joe Ellen's like um oh it's her husband he cheated you want to see the Instagrams we've got a lot of them inside his car outside his car i've seen one in a car wash in an actual car wash she's cheating on her want to see oh sorry even worse than death so um rule is like i had to deal with some infidelity

20:27Ben Mandelker: that i was learning about in real time oh that's hard everyone's like oh no oh no and lisa hawks is like oh i'm so sorry that's terrible that you had to take my storyline

20:45Ronnie Karam: I get it. I was like, oh yeah, well, I did it on TV too. His name was Tom. You ever heard it? You ever heard about, well, we got the, hey girls, we got the, when Tom left me, well, please say it's not about Tom, it's about Tom. It's iconic. It's a huge moment.

21:01Ben Mandelker: And Liz is like, listen, she's full of shit, okay?

21:06Ronnie Karam: and she knew what was happening the year before we even filled bar. It was kind of like the ongoing. Oh, God, who said the ongoing? Who said the ongoing? They're all giving so much to the Real Housewives of Rhode Island, and the other housewives are just looking at them like, what are you guys doing right now? Oh, yeah. It was bullshit from the year before. Just shut up, Ron. Shut your fucking mouth. It was tragic what happened to me.

21:39Ben Mandelker: so then um they're all just like so they're the the Rhode Island people are getting like of course you know they're like Liz Liz and Rola are starting to get chippy because of course all the women are like are prodding them like what happened and then what happened next well what do you think about that is that true is that true and uh Dorinda does not like any of it she's like okay hey what's going on kids lights out the slumber party is over okay you're up too late I said lights out at 9 o 'clock and you're all still talking.

22:07Ronnie Karam: Joellen, I'm done being quiet. I'm done taking the high road. I have class. But if I gotta stop stoop to that fucking level, I'm gonna do it right now. Cause I'm fucking done, Joellen. You got me. It's like, oh, really? Really? I'm filming you right now on Instagram. Okay? I've got a live stream going of your husband fucking someone in the truck stop. How dare you? And Louis is like, all right, Dorinda's like, nice and love. Hey, guys, this is my house. And one thing we're not gonna do in this house is make asses out of ourselves you got these it's bluestone manor this is the classic

22:38Ben Mandelker: fucking place movies yeah since when does dorinda have you know like like guard rails on arguments at bluestone manor like that's what built this manor here that's why you're having an entire tv show being filmed there right now while you had a whole season of a show filmed there right now and then suddenly she's like this doesn't happen at bluestone manor but it's purely because they're the freshman and she's like uh-uh you haven't earned your stripes yet you're not allowed to fight yet if anyone's gonna fight it's gonna be the elders we earned the privilege to fight on

23:08Ronnie Karam: camera but not you guys because they're so clearly trying to like have these staged you know cast moments and the cast is goading them into it but dorinda's like not here i don't even know your names bitches all right if you want to do that you go outside you can go outside which i'm gonna ask everyone to go outside in about five minutes but still you want to go outside go do it outside

23:31Ben Mandelker: i mean when she was like we are celebrating 20 years and we're not gonna turn it into episode six of rhode island that was so hilarious but it was really her way of being like you guys just got here you're not allowed to have a fight on the tv show that's like yeah exactly you have to sit and watch how it's done by the professionals although quite frankly the rhode island fight was the was the best part of the episode and i don't remember when it happened it was probably later on or whatever because there's there's so many clips but man the way my heart accelerated when they just there was like one moment where joellen just leaned over goes knock it off like god when she says that i crack up because she does it so often all the time to people knock it off

24:14Ronnie Karam: it's so good it comes when she gets mad knock it off and then that's where um rosie's like dropping her gum like no I didn't even remember my mom and Lisa's like you know what these girls need to learn like they need to clock in and go watch season two of ultimate girls trap where Durinda yelled at like Tamron Vicky because they ate crumbs in her bed like you don't want to piss

24:39Ben Mandelker: off Durinda in her own house don't do it a lot of rules yeah hey girls have you ever seen the fish room it's kind of iconic because of me because I said I didn't want to sleep in it I kind of made the fish room a thing they should just really call it a luann room anyway who wants to come see one of my most iconic rooms that i made and invented anyone anyone want to come

24:59Ronnie Karam: like okay all right yeah here's the fish room all right let's talk about what a bitch vicky is am all right like melissa i've i have grown to to understand her a lot you know it's kind of like i understand texas i hate them but i i get them you know yeah it's like you know when a mushroom

25:16Ben Mandelker: grows in your garden you're like oh no it's a poisonous mushroom and then you look online they They say, well, guess what? It's a sign of a healthy, healthy soil. You're like, well, fuck that soil. But I guess it's a good thing. That's Vicky. She's a mushroom. Anyway, what are we talking about?

25:30Ronnie Karam: So Portia's like, yeah, you know, it's crazy because no one has given Vicky the respect she earned for being the pioneer of Real Housewives. And so they decide they're going to honor Vicky here at the season finale since the Orange County ladies were just so mean to pull a victim Vicky. I hate this rewriting of Vicky on both of the shows where Vicky and both of the shows like episode back to backs. It's like, oh, poor Vicky, poor little Vicky.

26:04Ben Mandelker: I do think that even if they were like very complimentary to Vicky at the quiet woman, they would have been the same trajectory for her. You know, I think that she's I think she's actually genuinely in like also a funk. not to make excuses for her but like i wasn't there the episode where she talked about like basically being alone but she is basically alone like and i do think that that weighs on her i'm not saying like oh that's that's gives her excuse to be like a shitty person but i do think that she's like very sad these days and uh but i think whatever would have happened the quiet woman would not have changed any of that and remind me again why are shannon and tamara not at this they got disinvited, right, to Blusso Manor because of the fight they got into with the White Woman?

26:47Ben Mandelker: Is that what

26:47Ronnie Karam: happened? I guess so. Yeah, because they thought about it on Orange County and were like, okay, we got disinvited to the season finale because of this fight with me and Shirley. That really hurt me. Couldn't even go to the season finale because you called me an alcoholic. You couldn't go to the season finale of the person everybody has called an alcoholic for years because you're an alcoholic? What?

27:10Ben Mandelker: That didn't make sense. I don't think that fight, the fight honestly at The Quiet Woman, like we had like some weeks leading up to it on Orange County where they were like, oh, well, what happened at The Quiet Woman? Oh, well, that night, that dark night. And then when we saw it, it was just like a below average tiff between Tamara and Janet. It was like nothing crazy at all. It was a retread, yeah.

27:33Ronnie Karam: They were like, yeah, you're distant drunk. You didn't have anybody. So I can't tell you. That's very hurtful. So then they decide they're going to honor Vicky, basically. and then the Rhode Island ladies are still going at it amongst themselves over stupid stuff and Camille's like hey guys, you know what hi, it's me Camille Cramer we should let them work it out it's really important that they just

28:04Ben Mandelker: it's a lot of emotions and they've got to talk about things like different points of view I will be running for mayor yes I will be running as a Republican but I assure you that everything I will stand for is purely to help the houses that I'm going to be selling for millions of dollars

28:23Ronnie Karam: so upsetting so upsetting so Marisol is with Heather Gay now and it's like oh I can see her it's Hunker it's Hunker

28:37Ben Mandelker: by the way where was Alexia she must have had a conflict it seems crazy that there was like Marisol with no Alexia. That's weird. So then Dorinda's like, hey everyone, hey everyone, lady, lady, lady, man of the house, lady house, I'm a, I'm a, she's a brick house. Okay, Rhode Island, Rhode Island, we're speaking, we're speaking Rhode Island.

28:57Ronnie Karam: Shut up Kelsey, shut up Kelsey, you came for my square footage, you fucking bitch.

29:01Ben Mandelker: Knock it, knock it off, knock it off. Okay, Rhode Island, Rhode Island, you shouldn't even be here, okay, you shouldn't even be here, Okay, we're talking. Okay, so, to strong women and to the iconic moments, cheers to 20, 20 years of the Housewives. It's a long time, and the way I see it is we've come a long way, and there's been a lot of people here losing. And we finally, you know, you know.

29:36Ronnie Karam: Andy Caldwell, everybody. and then we see Andy coming out his hair is all slicked back he gets out of a gilded age fancy car hey it's me daddy

29:50Ben Mandelker: yes his hair is slicked back here and everything wow look at this and they're like oh and he's like the Truman Capote here oh my god it's Andy but of course the Rhode Island girls haven't really met him yet I don't think maybe they have a zoom with him but like they're like they're fanning out everyone else is kind of like oh we got to you know that's andy we gotta like be nice to andy but the rhode island girls are literally like at bravo con like oh my god it's happening andy cohen is here oh my god i'm gonna pass out i'm gonna pass out

30:21Ronnie Karam: well ladies there are 175 million people that can i ladies who can identify as real house but only under 200 can call himself real half-wives. Wow. Wow, guys.

30:44Ben Mandelker: Wow. Pretty cool. If you think about it, everyone's like cheering. It's like, and Portia's like,

30:51Ronnie Karam: Yeah, if there's one thing about it. I've been profiting off of your pain for 20 fucking years. Cheers to me, ladies. It's like, bye, Indie guys.

31:01Ben Mandelker: All right. Well, there's a lot to unpack here. Quite literally a lot of boxes, Terinda. And if anyone needs me, I'm going to start to start some fights around the party. First up, Teresa and Melissa, let's start this one off.

31:18Ronnie Karam: Can we talk? How are you two? I think it's important that we move forward. Anybody want to say I'm sorry? Yeah, Teresa, it's so good to see you as my sister-in-law. Yeah, yeah, like such a good sister-in-law I am so happy to move on Good, good, okay Max, Max, who's up? Alright, get the fuck out of here, you two

31:39Ben Mandelker: Wait a second But before we just Excuse them So, it seems like A lot of your fighting started Because Melissa, you joined the show That Teresa was already on Do you want an apology from her, Teresa? And Melissa's like For joining the show? She's like I'm back she's like well I mean I told her I was going to audition you know at my shore house on my wave runner and then like you said good luck and Teresa's like no absolutely not she did not text me before the auditions now she's not by the way I 100 % believe that Melissa texted Teresa and Teresa just sent it automatically to the trash because she's like it's my bitch sister-in-law not going to listen to anything she has to say I don't believe it for

32:21Ronnie Karam: one second I believe all that stuff from the Jersey reunion years ago when it was like, oh, you didn't, you went behind my back and then you were Facebook messaging Danielle trying to get on the show to get some drama. And then once Danielle and I fought, then you gave Danielle all this information. Then Danielle, you know, fed you finally to the producers and then you came on. Because that whole thing was such a clusterfuck, like the christening and then Melissa and Joe are there and Teresa's like, oh, wow, my sister-in-laws is here. And then it turned into one of the most epic episodes of all life, of all time.

32:56Ronnie Karam: But yeah, Melissa's totally guilty. But I love it. It's housewives. That's what you do.

33:04Ben Mandelker: Yeah, so Andy apologizes. Andy's like, well, I'm sorry that you had that experience, that we did that to you and we were able to mine it for 15 years of television.

33:14Ronnie Karam: She's like, oh, thank you for saying that. That means a lot to me. Yeah. Now, Melissa, what do you want to say? He is going with his whole, like, everybody has to make up okay let's go back to one of your original fights and they're still like liar liar liar but i love you though so it's basically promised that even though they're saying jersey's gonna be less toxic hopefully that will only be for a year because these two

33:39Ben Mandelker: clearly still hate each other yes yes they do um yeah because they barely are able to to like hide their own fury at each other and they don't believe that either of their accounts on how this whole thing went on. And then Teresa's like,

33:53Ronnie Karam: yeah, it's nice to make up. It's like a fresh breath of air, you know?

33:57Ben Mandelker: And Melissa's like, no, honey. Oh my God, it's breath of fresh air. Oh my God, wackiness, am I right?

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35:36Ronnie Karam: He lurks in shadow. He slips into dreams. He casts no reflection.

35:41Ben Mandelker: Audible presents Bram Stoker's Dracula, a full cast audio thriller starring Ella Pernell from Fallout as Mina Harker, Jonathan Bailey from Wicked as Dracula, and an A-list cast including...

35:55Ronnie Karam: Maggie Gyllenhaal, The Dark Knight as Van Helsing, Amy Lou Wood from The White Lotus as Lucy, David Johnson from Industry as Dr. Seward, and many more.

36:05Ben Mandelker: The new full-cast thriller locks Mina Harker in a battle of minds with The Count.

36:10Ronnie Karam: When Mina's fiancé Jonathan Harker, Louis Partridge from Enola Holmes, vanishes in Transylvania, Mina pieces together letters, diary entries, and chilling testimony to hunt the predator stalking those she loves, only to discover Dracula's already hunting her.

36:25Ben Mandelker: Joined by the enigmatic Van Helsing, Mina and a small fearless band race against time to stop this ancient terror, Using her intellect, her resolve, and a gift for drawing the unseen lines between clues, Mina just may hold the key to bring down the Count if he hasn't already found his way inside her mind.

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36:57Ben Mandelker: Feel the terror of being hunted and the thrill of the hunt.

37:01Ronnie Karam: Don't miss the year's best new audio thriller, Bram Stoker's Dracula, Audible's new full cast original adaptation.

37:08Ben Mandelker: Written by Robin Ahern and directed by Mary Lambert.

37:11Ronnie Karam: Now on Audible. Listen to the darkness. Go to audible.com slash listen to Dracula. So Aaron and Carol were talking about how like famous there are like so many millions of people. And Aaron's like, yeah, like, we're so real. You know, like, people don't get how real it is.

37:32Ben Mandelker: Yeah, I'm just, like, a real person. I'm just, like, very relatable. You know, just like another person who just, like, survived Katrina. And so, and Kevin's like, yeah, yeah.

37:42Ronnie Karam: Do you think that there's people who are not real? Maybe on your cast?

37:46Ben Mandelker: And Aaron's like, I mean, a little bit. Like, I don't know. Like, Jessel. and of course you know we see a clip of Aaron in the in the limo unprovoked just like going in on

37:57Ronnie Karam: jessel so so she's the biggest person here is jessel guys not gonna lie it's jessel just cut to Aaron you know at the gas station going to the bathroom jessel jessel's a liar jessel's so fake like everywhere she goes Aaron trying to do this I was expecting it to be more of a a thing because that's another one that's become a plot line on their show. Yeah. Minor, minor shit talking. Yeah.

38:25Ben Mandelker: Dorinda sees both like, oh, yeah, we gotta take a picture of you. Oh, well. And then Chanel is talking to Mary, saying how she looks up to Mary so much. And Mary's like, but you're like the model. Uh, and then, then Rosie's still so star truck by Andy. She's like, I am sobbing right now to meet you. Oh my God.

38:47Ronnie Karam: You're here. You're in the club. You're in the club. Okay. And Jussel is talking to Carol. She's like, every woman I meet that's a Taurus has this, like, male energy that I'm, like, so attracted to. Well, I'm a Leo, so I'm not really as attractive, I guess, as a Taurus. Well, she's like a little kitty cat. Okay, we'll call her a pussy cat. She stole my chef from my kitchen. My chef was in her late 20s. She stole him. She's a little 20-year-old wiener in the hole. Carol. Stole him.

39:22Ben Mandelker: Wow. So what sort of summer was that? Because that was way before Carolyn Bessette's summer, right? Was that, like, Carolyn Bessette has a fling summer? Is that what we'd call that? Hey!

39:33Ronnie Karam: I'm actually really impressed to hear this. Like, how many good summers do you have left, Carol? Oh, I can't help that young man are attracted to me. because then carol's like he was like 30 he wasn't oh please 30 he was 29 can you believe

39:50Ben Mandelker: this one lying after all these years next she's gonna say she's a real princess please

39:56Ronnie Karam: the real housewives of rhode island are still going at it i didn't do anything hang on kelsey and rosie going back and forth john's like stop screaming you are in someone's hell knock it off um yeah they're just still

40:15Ben Mandelker: fighting because they're just yeah they're all rehashing it and porsche's like wow they're just not hiding anything i mean they're just letting it all hang out they think this is their reunion i mean kind of they know it's definitely something that they have to like be on for also maybe some people could take some tips from it as well okay i would not be the worst thing in the world if some people followed Rhode Island's lead these days.

40:35Ronnie Karam: And they're trying to get Andy's attention to come do his live reunion thing with them, but he doesn't. He's just like, all right, next, Lisa. You having problems with Heather Gay? He's like, yeah, I don't want to talk to her. I don't like her. Well, we're going to. And Heather Gay's like, oh, you want to talk to me, Andy Cohen? Okay, here I am. Hello, Lisa Barlow, sister, also horrible human being. Sorry I said that. Only because I love you, Lisa.

41:04Ben Mandelker: I love you like a sister. And don't you feel that from me? Lisa's like, no, I don't. I mean, like, I can coexist with anybody. But, like, are we friends? No, I've tried. I've given it, like, an A for effort. Like, I'm, like, A++++++. Because I have, like, a 5.0 GPA. And, like, trying to move forward with, like, Heather Gay. It's, like, so much. By the way, especially when you're saying, like, fuck you. With all these, like, egregious things. Like, being so nasty. especially like right before the oscars it's like not cool and this is where she's like yeah

41:36Ronnie Karam: they're like you know they're like all the cast of salt lake city coming again the berkshires they're like glitter it's like the herpes of craft like once they arrive they never go away you never get rid of it so annie's like okay well you know you guys you have a baseline of positive feelings i mean heather gay you've said sister sister sister sister so that's got to mean

41:59Ben Mandelker: something right lisa and she's like no basically like like andy andy thought like okay i i got melissa and theresa to do a fake apology this should be no problem and these two are not like lisa's just not allowing it lisa's like i've tasted what it's like to actually be you know liked on a cast and i'm not i'm never going back i'm never going back to people who hate me

42:24Ronnie Karam: yeah and heather's like oh my god lisa's mad at me oh well she's gonna be gaslit like we have six years of footage and she's been a horrible person to me no she hasn't it's you it has been you i feel like the only thing that i can really and like listen lisa can be an asshole to a lot of people i think the worst thing she ever did to heather gay was that first thing when she said you know good time girl i don't really know you in college i just knew you was like the good time

42:49Ben Mandelker: girl you know woohoo yeah they have been coming for lisa i mean lisa does blatantly lie i mean we literally this week she's on the show saying that she gets invited to the oscars every year i mean come on this is someone who lives in a distorted reality and i understand that that's very

43:06Ronnie Karam: frustrating for you for five years she's done nothing but horrible things to you i don't name

43:11Ben Mandelker: them name them well they think that she leaked shit to the blogs that's what they think so um um teresa but teresa stands up for her and she's like you know she's like the best thing they had

43:23Ronnie Karam: that could have did was like went out to lisa and be like you know what i'm so sorry like maybe i had too much to drink out and i apologize the way not to come in like i love teresa giving advice on

43:35Ben Mandelker: like how to like be humble and apologize and come in with a tail between between your legs and like moving forward with people i'm like yeah teresa famously does that all the time on her show

43:46Ronnie Karam: and then Angie comes in and she's like Lisa I want to talk as well I am Greek no not now not now not you too and Teresa's like you want me to have that she's like I mean to Lisa I mean I saw her and texted her and said we're sisters she said horrible things to me Teresa she said horrible

44:06Ben Mandelker: horrible things so then Teresa is still defending her and she's like well if you call her a fraud

44:13Ronnie Karam: and say she's like a sister like that don't make sense and heather's like well she needs to pay

44:18Ben Mandelker: her bills and lisa's like um i just had like charlie xcx in my lounge but i'm a fraud okay heather i'm like that literally sounds like a fraudulent statement okay does charlie xcx hang

44:31Ronnie Karam: out with frauds i don't think so yeah charlie was in my lounge so whatever you're a fraud stupid bet i would not you know i wouldn't love you as a sister if you called me a freaking fraud her

44:45Ben Mandelker: husband may have signed those papers well i take that back that i love her as a sister now borsha's there and then borsha just like ends it she's like um i know you're not acting up in front of company she's like stop fighting in front of andy you guys are supposed to be mature in this moment

45:02Ronnie Karam: and you botched it yeah so then atlanta ladies come over phaedrus cynthia and sharae are coming to the party and andy's like wow the nice of you guys just show up you're lucky this isn't atlanta three hours late i'd be like nini leaving you in the park leaving you on the driveway of a hollywood

45:19Ben Mandelker: hell's rental mansion yes but their luggage got messed up or something so they clearly had to wait for their baggage and then they had to like changing into glam so that's why they're all all them are so late but they all say hi to everyone cynthia says hi to kyle and cynthia's like last Last time you saw me, I was like a whole man. Remember when I was 50 Cent? You didn't recognize me? And Carl's like, I know. Wait, who are you again? Your housewife?

45:45Ronnie Karam: Chanel is picking the grapes that are hanging off candles. She's like, I know that decoration, but I'm hungry. I don't care. I'm eating them. So they're talking about all the arguments that they've had at this very table. And then Lee's like, all right, Carol, you know what? I'm going to throw a grape. You're going to catch it in your mouth. Okay. Come on, little aunt. No, I'm going to do it. Okay, just pretend this grape is an underage 20-year-old. Okay? It's working in my house. Just open your mouth and swallow. All right.

46:14Ben Mandelker: Come on. You can do it. Open that big old mouth of yours. Open that mouth. So Carol's like.

46:23Ben Mandelker: This is like for 20 seconds. And then like it misses. And it like goes down Carol's shirt. And I think the whole reason why they kept this in was just that way we could hear the man go. well I love that it went down her decolette it went down the decolette everyone the decolette it's a real word decolette decolette

46:47Ronnie Karam: listen anybody need french lessons you know where to get them

46:54Ben Mandelker: exactly I love that Luanne goes around cheating people for their french but she doesn't even know how to say decolette correctly um I thought it was decolletage personally well I thought I was like, before I make fun of this, let me just make sure. And the word is décolleté. There's décolleté, but the other word is décolleté. But either way, it's D-E accent aigu, C-O-L-L-E-T-E, accent aigu, which is pronounced décolleté, which any French person would be able to know.

47:29Ronnie Karam: Clearly. So she's like, the décolleté. Or Lou.

47:33Ben Mandelker: down the decollette unlike me so just like you all watched our season well i mean the first one

47:40Ronnie Karam: yeah yeah you had very big shoes to fill all right well listen i'm all for you guys have you filled the shoes no no well i mean there are shoes they're there they're huge good luck okay hey you know what one thing i think that if i watched your show hopefully i would see the scene where you guys get a little channel called e exclamation point all right turned it on yeah golden life coming

48:03Ben Mandelker: soon okay it's about five great women and one who can levitate so tune in our job which one is

48:11Ronnie Karam: so um so lose that all right you know i i know enough to say it's time to go i don't have to be melancholy man it was time to go you know let these girls take over this sinking ship you know what i mean i don't want to be a band like on the fight tunnel you know just going down with the shelf

48:27Ben Mandelker: go ahead ladies have fun great do you mean this yes here will you accept this torch on behalf of the ogs of new york city it's technically a giant wax candle in the shape of a head with a flame on top but you get the point take this and everyone's like really and you're giving it to me which means that i'm kind of the best person on the cast wow her words not mine everyone wow thank you just don't fuck it up i'm like luann it's about two years late for that but that's okay they're on

48:54Ronnie Karam: the mend yeah so then um sharae andy's talking to sharae asking her about a man and she's like oh i i uh have a couple that i'm dating i have a couple of men that i'm dating right now um there's that one this one spring september october fall summer spring somewhere it's like all right we are still full of shit. All right. Is it time for the, is it time for the fireworks yet?

49:19Ben Mandelker: No, because first, Vicky, you've got to come with me. I'm putting you in a chair. Okay. You're sitting in a chair now. All right. Think of a number. All right. While you're thinking of that number, let me hold out some flowers and be like, everyone, hello. I will be making a speech for the next 45 minutes while Vicky thinks of her number. I'm just going to say that through these weeks, we've been traveling together, some of us in cars, some of us just floating in air because that's just our innate ability and it's been amazing and i think vicky and i got off on the wrong foot this trip but you know what she's really grown on me because underneath her really professional and tough and unpleasant exterior as a person is saw organs and blood and meat so anyway here's some

50:02Ronnie Karam: flowers bitch okay well i guess i'll give a speech now you know what i'm so special you know uh the other day, Scott Dunlop, who's the producer. I found him. I made him. And he told me that 1.6 billion people have watched me on Real House. What are you, burgers served at McDonald's? Get the fuck out of here, 1.6 billion. How many people are there on the earth, Vicky? Are you counting the minutes watched over 20 years? All right, well, Vicky,

50:34Ben Mandelker: do you want Luann to sing you a song? No, no, no more song? No, no, no, no, no. Well, wow all time. She's like don't fucking see could you imagine you have a world-class talent in a limo with you? You don't want them sing one bar music. I mean, it's crazy

50:50Ronnie Karam: All right, listen, we're going to go outside for something super special. You guys got to put on boots so we can go outside. It's very pleasant. You put something down here. You guys just surprised. I want to tell you what it is. It's fireworks. Here we go. It's fireworks. It's fireworks. I love fireworks.

51:06Ben Mandelker: I'd be so mad. It's obviously it's going to be fireworks. We know they all have to put on special boots. By the way, expensive. They all have special boots that they get into. They all have to put on their coats. They all have to get out there. fireworks go off and i mean it is pretty cool i have to say seeing all those women out there and they're just a fraction of like the amount of people who've been on the show the real housewives is really dope it's really cool that it's there this is a show that just focuses on women women who are not just like 23 and like just like hot for guys like it's just meaning like like that they don't they're not there to service men like these are just women dealing with their shit Whether they're fighting, whether they're going through stuff, whatever it is, I think it's awesome that this show exists.

51:46Ben Mandelker: And it is really cool to see all these women who, honestly, Hollywood would never, ever, ever care about. And now they are famous in their own sort of sphere. And it's like, I don't know. I got reflective when I watched it.

51:59Ronnie Karam: Well, yeah. I mean, look at us. We've been doing this for 15 years, just talking about them. We've been doing it for 20. Yeah. We're certainly not going to complain about it. I mean, we will complain, but we're not going to complain that Housewives were invented. That's for sure. We'll fucking love these shows.

52:15Ben Mandelker: I just think that the show, I think it's actually an amazing pop culture force. And I always want the show to get, it doesn't need flowers from the world beyond Bravo and the fandom. But I get frustrated when I see people. I get frustrated when I like the New York Times ran a whole thing across all of last week about the top 100 TV shows of all of the century. and Real Housewives wasn't on there and I knew it wasn't going to be on there but the truth is that these are stories that are worth telling and they're fun almost all of them are funnier than any fucking Ted Lasso they put on that list and they're more interesting and they're more memorable and the show has been massively impactful on pop culture in terms of storytelling in terms of shows, in terms of fashion, in terms of plastic surgery, everything and I just think it's like despite it being such a juggernaut it still in many ways feels like it is an underdog amongst certain intelligentsia and I just think we don't live for the approval of the intelligentsia but it makes me happy to see them all there and seeing that their lives have been for the most part changed very positively and it's like I don't know I think it's like despite you know you're watching this whole big campy show and then I sort of had this moment at the end where I thought this is actually really really cool so yeah I liked it

53:34Ronnie Karam: yeah we love we love all these ladies and everything bravo's brought to our lives that's it for us forever we're out of here as well we are this is our final episode yeah goodbye uh for

53:46Ben Mandelker: my real house 30 more minutes for 30 more minutes and then we're doing crappy hour yeah but um yeah

53:53Ronnie Karam: i agree with you and we don't need intel the you know super smart people at the new york times to be like oh my god this is super amazing this is the best thing we both started reading a book this week that they're like, this is not only the best book of the decade, this is the book of the century, this is the best book that's ever been written. And it is a good book. But I'm reading it and I'm thinking, yeah, they sound like us, but when we're talking about Real Housewives,

54:20Ben Mandelker: you know? Yeah. It's like, it is a good book, but have you read Sheena's memoir? That's what I'm saying.

54:26Ronnie Karam: Yeah.

54:27Ben Mandelker: That's what I'm saying.

54:28Ronnie Karam: Exactly. Have you seen the art that has been coming out for 20 years on Bravo? Exactly Alright everybody Thank you so much for being here We're gonna jump over to crappy hour And we will be back on regular schedule For the rest of the week So we will talk to you next time Bye

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