#3568 RHONY S16E5 Part One: Dunce On This Island

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2:13Ben Mandelker: Hello and welcome to Watch What Crappens, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to talk about. Hi, I'm Ben Mandelker. Joining me today from Mosquito Island, the Annex, it's Ronnie Karam. How are you? Might as well be Mosquito Island over here. It's a lot of mosquitoes. A lot of skeeters. Yeah, a lot of skeeters. They're big. But this is a glamorous Mosquito Island that's owned by one person named Erica. Or is it? maybe richard branson owns your house ronnie um uh we i'm i'm really excited to talk about this episode i was cracking up the whole time i am so delighted that i'm enjoying the errone again uh of course of course we have to mention we're going to minnesota and we're going to minneapolis and detroit next week saturday and sunday shows we hope you'll join us for that tickets are at watch what crappens.com.

3:14Ben Mandelker: We'd love a big audience, uh, a, because we go crazy and we're, we're even more hyped, but also we just love being in a room of all our people. And we love being in a room full of Bravo people. And, you know, we can all share the joy that is this crazy world of Bravo that we all have plunged into. So come join us again. Watch what crappens.com is where you get the tickets. And, um, if you're not going to be in Minneapolis or Detroit, don't you worry, We're going all over North America, Philadelphia, DC, Dallas, Austin, Houston, Nashville, Clearwater, Fort Lauderdale, San Francisco, Salt Lake City, Denver, Charleston, Atlanta, Seattle, Vancouver, Portland, Toronto, Boston, and New York for the golden crappies.

3:58Ben Mandelker: That's going to be on February 25th. We'll be at that point. We'll be 15 years old. Look at us. High schoolers. Yeah. So come, come check us out. Again, the ones that are soonest that are most urgent for you to know about because we don't want you to suddenly turn around and be like, wait, I had no idea. Minneapolis, Detroit next week, and then Philadelphia and D.C. at the top of November. So that's the big tour announcement for the day. That's that. This episode of New York, I just want to say thank you to the music department. You know, for a few years on Housewives, they've kind of, I don't want to say they've sucked, but it hasn't been noticeable as it used to be to me, at least.

4:42I mean, the classic Housewives music was so good. And I feel like they're trying to return to form. And this one was so good. They had all of the White Lotus ripoffs. Yes. And they did like 20 for this episode. And they were so cute. And they weren't just the typical. they were really cute little songs in there i thought well i don't know who's working back there but you're doing a great job i really enjoyed it yeah they're really they're really putting in an effort i think they knew that the reboot of the reboot could not fail because if

5:17Ben Mandelker: the reboot of the reboot fails it's actually over and they're like we we are going to make sure every single detail of the show is better than the reboot and that includes the music because that White Lotus music was really, really delightful. Yeah. I don't even know. I don't even know. I can't even sing it, but I was singing it all day yesterday when I heard it. Yeah. Really cute. So we are in Mosquito Island, and the ladies are being taken to the island, and we get the full, they're like, oh my God, isn't this like White Lotus? And then we get the full White Lotus, you know, arrival thing. Yeah.

5:55Ben Mandelker: yeah those staffs out there yeah all that stuff and the staff is like waving like hello they're waving and we just hear the staff someone on the staff say my hand is numb like okay well you can switch your hands now like you've been out here for so long you're just waving every boat that passes i know seriously so erica this is erica's big episode because she's sort of been a little bit on the periphery um hasn't really made too much of an impact she's been very nice um but now she's more central because this is obviously her island or her partial island or something like that and she's like i'm so excited to host the girls on the island it's like one of my happy places and the first time i actually came to the island i met anker's whole entire family i even brought a gift like this personalized beach blanket and then i shortly realized like these people don't need a beach blanket and then i realized also it wasn't even personalized and I realized I just got it at TJ Maxx.

6:53Ben Mandelker: So it was embarrassing in so many different ways. She's got this like little, she's always got this like little girl smile. She's like, can you believe it? I got a blanket. People don't even need blankets. I love Taco Bell. I love, I love shopping on Amazon. I'm just so relatable. She is one of those that gets to the island and has to hug every staff member very deeply so that we know that she's still one of the people guys she may be a billionaire but she is also from waco and she's nice that's right i am from branch lovidian and um she is giving a waco waco callback waco callback and pun not a very good pun a little dark a little dark i made it nice i made it about lovidian instead of davidian um anyway she's yeah i noticed that she like hugs everyone and um uh it is sort of funny because it's like but these people have to be nice to you you know at least heather dubrow is like hello oh too close alfredo too close i'm just gonna walk on by by the way heather dubrow someone i forget whoever uh i'm sorry for whoever sent this to me i I saw it in a haze last night while I was playing board games, but someone sent me a video of Heather Dubrow, and she's like, Ooh, when I travel, I enjoy Listerine, and it comes in this little travel size.

8:21I just loved Heather Dubrow discovering Listerine.

8:24Ben Mandelker: Like, I found this cool new thing for your breath. It's called Listerine. Was it like a sponsored ad? Was it an influencer thing? No. No, it was just like, like, it was like a get ready with me. It was like, this is how I like to travel. Look, this is called a toothbrush. I can't wait to show Alfredo about these.

8:49Alfredo has just been cleaning his teeth with paper towels. Finally, there's another option.

8:57Ben Mandelker: So, yeah, so Erica comes on and like hugs everyone. and, you know, the staff gives everyone coconuts filled with drinks, you know, and then they have to get onto golf carts and ride up a hill with their coconuts. How has Haley survived in this world for so long? I mean, I get that she's a stoner and stuff like that, but it's verging on worrisome. You know, she gets this coconut, she's spilling it, then everybody gets on a golf cart and she keeps spilling it everywhere. Like she can't understand a circle full of liquid. And yes, I don't think she's kidding. You know, I think sometimes she's just like, look at me.

9:38I'm wacky. I have marijuana, but I'm kind of worried about her. I don't know how she's made it this far in the world. People like this, but she has, she's here.

9:51Ben Mandelker: But she is here. I'm trying to find this saved thing. She was on virtual reality with We Love Danny and Evan. And she was going off on Aaron. And it was this – she was really going in on Aaron. And I was going to play the audio, but I can't actually – I saved it on X Twitter. But I actually don't know how to access the things that you save. So, oh, well. Oh, yeah. You go to history. Oh, history. Oh, there it is. And then something else. Here it is. It's 90 seconds. That's a long time to play on a podcast. Basically, she just doesn't like Aaron. She's like, Aaron came over, and when she came over, I didn't even know who she was.

10:39Ben Mandelker: I've met her like three times. She says she's going on about her daughter. I didn't know she had a daughter, and I'm supposed to cry? What? I don't know. Did you see Haley's mother on Kim D's podcast? No, but I saw that there was a thing where Haley posted something saying, being the daughter of a mother who's a narcissist is not easy, blah, blah, blah. So tell me. Her mom goes on Kim D, and Kim D's like, all right, tell me about what's going on. You got a daughter? She's on this show in New York. Yeah, we're watching this show. What do you think about your daughter throwing you under the bus?

11:15And she's like, I just, I am so betrayed. I can't believe my daughter is going on and making me look like this monster. I've always loved my daughter and she's betrayed me. Oh, you know, that's okay. I know it's probably not great to hear your kid talking shit about you, but we saw the scene of you making all of her pain about yourself. So, yeah. Sorry. Feels a little bit like, you know, good. Good. Sorry. I keep finishing a sentence, but then deciding that I'm not finished yet. That's my whole life. That's your right. It's not really.

11:52Ben Mandelker: Your right is to have a comma, and it's my obligation to understand punctuation. No, because I keep signaling you to come into the crosswalk, and then I put my hand up again, like a really controlling crosswalk person. I'm like, come on. Nope, nope, nope, nope, nope. Wait, wait, wait. Okay, come on. Nope, nope, nope, nope. Like a narcissistic mother. I was just going to say, this feels like it's Monica Garcia and her mom all over again. Yes. Which I love, personally. I thought that was a fascinating relationship. So, looking forward to seeing how this messiness continues to evolve. Oh, yes. I love a messy mother relationship, you know, both in life and on TV.

12:31So, unfortunately, her mother is not in Mosquito Island. But here's Haley. And she's like, you know, my mind is always kind of on a vacation. So when I go on vacation, the only difference is like, it's tropical.

12:49Ben Mandelker: I'm not saying that Haley is the daughter of privilege. But when you say you just always feel like you're on vacation, you know, it's a strong indication. And don't change. That's what I want on my Real Housewives. Thank you. Thank you. I was thinking about it. You know, the show is called The Real Housewives. and i think it was originally called that well first of all because desperate housewives was on the air and we had you know all that so it was like oh this is how the this is this is actually what the real this is what the housewives are really like but i think the real in real housewives was kind of like can you believe it these are real people and they're crazy they actually live like this that's to me what real stood for and i think with the original reboot bravo changed real to be like this is the real new york city movers and shakers and fashionistas they're cool and they're real just like us and i feel like with like for instance with haley we're back to is this a real human it is and she somehow is living in this world doesn't even know how to hold a coconut full of rum going up a hill and a golf cart on a private island possibly owned by richard branson you know like i like this i like that we're back to what the real be real yeah but they they needed to go further i think the weakest part of this episode is size it's like the older cast member well i guess size the only one that's really not working still i was like i don't i don't care about your divorce it's not like i'm okay with it oddly enough it's been i don't know it's been happening for so long i don't care anymore if you when you've i think divorces should be quicker you know i think you should say i want to divorce you and then you just put a special code into a box and then boom your divorce i don't understand this taking so long and then you know and then you go to the courts and then that takes forever and that's 10 years later and you're still talking about your divorce just you say you're gonna get divorced get divorced it should be like ordering a doordash i don't want it to be longer than 40 minutes well bring it up with bell burden like i think the the thing i mean first of all it's the men i always believe it's the men that draw it out because the men are always the fuckers who are like i'm leaving you i'm leaving you for someone named miranda she's a reiki healer and i love her and don't worry i'll leave you the house and the kids and we'll split it 50 50 everything will be fine and then a week later oh by the way you're living on a sidewalk now i'm taking everything and so it has to be fought so i blame the men you know well i know it's not always not bad i don't blame the men yeah um yeah but in general it's all right it's a pretty good in in our experience it's usually a pretty good uh it's a pretty good strategy you'll be right 90 of the time i literally just finished reading strangers about a divorce so like i'm really on i'm really on one i'm like and another thing if a guy comes into your life and you give him a connection for his professional life fuck him um i don't know i'm not minding sai at all i i i i think her stories have been interesting so i'm okay with it okay yeah she's not getting on my nerves she's just not everything else is just so fun and then it goes to like every time they go to sai it's so sad and i don't you know i don't like that i like the happy parts so um uh the butler ivan gives them another drink it's a local drink.

16:20It's called the painkiller. It's also a drink you can find everywhere. But, you know, they make it here locally, I guess. So Jussel's like, well, on a fucking private island, I love everything about it. The little insects, the grass, the smell. There's not a man that I'm married to critiquing every chicken finger that comes out of the kitchen.

16:43Ben Mandelker: it's so nice to look at a tortilla and not hear that someone say i give it an 8.5 out of 10. it was just perfection perfection we go to the mansion and um the sign daisy are asking for vegetarian options and daisy's like yeah i'm mostly vegetarian and wow to be in a rich place a billionaire island to where you say is there anything vegetarian and to have the answer be there's fruit yeah there's a fruit plate right there you're fired yeah you're fired you're real you're really really fired and uh but also hilarious because daisy announcing that she's partially vegetarian erica tells us um this is the first time i'm hearing that daisy's a vegetarian we were literally at her house last week eating short rib that she cooked and they show footage of her slicing a big hunk of meat and putting in her mouth and then there was fish too so erica's like yeah she is not vegetarian this reeks of a below deck um uh charter guests who suddenly changes up their preference sheet as soon as they arrive on the boat you know it's time for a commercial it's time for a crappin's commercial you know those pieces in your closet ronnie that you find yourself wearing on repeat the sweater that goes with everything the perfect pair of pants or the tea is somehow always reach for first those are the pieces that make getting dressed easy and that's what quince does best quince focuses on high quality wardrobe staples made with premium materials like 100 % mongolian cashmere organic cotton, and merino wool.

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20:44Ben Mandelker: Higher app engagement was associated with greater weight loss at 16 weeks. now we go look at all their rooms that they're getting um they're these they're really nice big rooms and daisy is gonna room with aaron and we get to their room and they have little separate bedrooms or whatever but i love that aaron got stuck with the pull out bed i think it's very fitting that's her energy anyway you know when you pull out a bed energy she is like you know you have to pull you have to find a little tab you pull it and it's like and it comes out and then you you set it out and you think it's safe to sit on but it's not because the legs are sort of like bent inwards you have to like snap them into their locked position but you haven't done it yet it's all like way too much work for your comfort and then it's not even pleasant once it's ready yes and it's always squeaking and making noise and it's like the most obnoxious noise and then you're like three years in you're like why do i still have this pull out bed after three years like i know it's so annoying but then when you're you don't have to deal with it you don't ever think about it again it's not until you have to deal with it and hear the squeaking or god this is annoying i need to get this replaced we agree right that there were clearly other rooms and production was like you're not allowed to use these or production took them they put their producers in the nice rooms because i just can't believe a house that big doesn't have one more room with beds in it or they don't have the accommodations they don't they haven't brought in temporary beds or anything like that like this this it just has to be and every time they do this on any of these shows they always go these enormous mansions enormous enormous mansions and you put five people in it's like oh sorry one of you guys has to sleep on like a bamboo mat It's like, no, there are other rooms.

22:33Ben Mandelker: You cannot tell me there are not other rooms here. Well, pull up that it is. And she's like, pull up that the mattress is like paper. I just lost everything. I'm a nailist to me. I lost pictures. Out on the balcony, Carol's complaint. This is a really strong Carol episode, I think, too. Great Carol episode. Great Carol episode. oh no i left my silk pillowcase at the airport my skin hasn't touched cotton in like 20 years also my butt hasn't touched a chair in 25 years i only sit on counters um yet carol um carol being high maintenance about her pillow was not what i was expecting you know because Her whole thing is like, I'm a cool girl.

23:28I like to wear socks. You're going to see that soon. I don't really care about material things. But then she's also like, I need to have a silk pillowcase.

23:40Ben Mandelker: Yeah. Oh, is it Carolyn Bissette pillowcase summer?

23:48How dare you? That's very dramatic for me. and then we go to sign Haley's room and uh Cy Haley and Eric are out on the balcony and you know here we go with size story she's like yeah it's been a really long 24 hours you know it's a lot going on I haven't slept I want to have fun but I'm like a little checked out you know because I was excited but then the kids went upstate with David then all of a sudden I get this message saying are you okay and then another message saying are you okay and another message and even Aaron texts me. And Aaron said, oh my God, he filed. And my heart dropped. It dropped into my feet.

24:28Ben Mandelker: It dropped so hard that I got nauseous right now. I did like how she announced her nausea. They're just talking like, yeah, this view's great. Yeah, I really like this view. Can you believe it? A private island. It's so luxurious. It's really lovely. I think I'm going to throw up. But yeah, this guy, what a dick. What a dick. he takes the kids on like for spring break and then files how do you just not tell how do you not tell how do you not tell like your your wife you're like in a file I mean this is probably what happens all the time I mean I'm I'm naive but like it's that's crazy I mean I'm acting like how can you tell I'm like I literally just read a book where it happened but um well yeah here's my question about it what does she think i mean she she had a whole scene in her first or second episode i don't know what episode we're on we're on five now so one of the earlier episodes of the season she had a scene where she was on the phone i guess with her lawyer dividing assets and being like well this is going to be so she's planning on filing i'm wondering and she's shooting it on tv so i guess he found out i mean eventually he's gonna find out that you're calling lawyers or whatever so maybe he's trying to be i mean i don't know maybe i think the whole thing of like i can't believe it and i can't believe that he's filing this is so shocking to me but we just saw a scene of her dividing assets so yeah but they it's like one thing to be like okay we're gonna divide assets we're gonna do this together we're gonna handle this maturely we're gonna we're gonna to do this in a way like two adults because we're going to be co-parenting i feel like in my mind having not been in this position but having read a book about it over the weekend so like i'm kind of an expert um uh i sort of imagine the idea is like we're going to do this together and this is going to set the tone for the separation and what life will be like afterwards and how our family will be right and then this guy just goes and does this thing that becomes very public and now she's blindside and she's like not ready with a statement you know she's not ready like she gets a flood of all this concern and like like she just wasn't ready and it's it is like a blindside like i think i feel like the idea is kind of like hey just so you know full transparency i'm gonna file tomorrow and she can be like mentally prepared and like again i i feel like if it were me i would i would start thinking is this what is this what the next part of the process is going to be just constant blind sides we're not actually going to be communicating is like does this do i have to be concerned about like how i'm going to be raising the kids i have to be concerned about when i send the kids over there what's like it's you know it's like a breach of trust and so like you just at that point you just don't know and i think that's very scary so yeah okay i get it i get it with you explaining it that way because i was taking it from the scene that we saw before that she was kind of doing all of this behind his back.

27:25Like they were separated, but they hadn't talked about actual divorce, but she had decided to divorce and she hadn't told him yet. She was just telling the audience and her lawyer, like, Oh, how much am I going to have to give David and blah, blah, blah. And so then he got wind of it and was like, Oh, I'm going to go file for divorce because she's talking about this on TV and she's calling lawyers about, you know, it could have been. So that's how I took it. But I don't know where the facts are just to – I don't know where the evidence is there. That's just kind of how I took it from the way that she's talking about it.

28:01So that's why I was like, well, why are you surprised? But then the way you just explained it, now I'm thinking about it in a whole new way. Yeah.

28:09Ben Mandelker: Again, I really am in like a post-Bell Burden Strangers kind of space where I'm just like, fuck the guy. Well, you never know where the day is going to take you because I have a whole different opinion now. I've adopted a new opinion. I love – I read like one book a year, and then once I read it, I act like I'm such an expert now. But it could be all of the above. We don't really know. But either way, she was blindsided. Well, you're saying like I'm upset that something so private became public, but you've been talking about it for a month on national TV. And I know that it hasn't aired yet, but it's still you making it public in your way.

28:46so i guess part of me just feels like well why why shouldn't he you're doing it i don't know but then the way you explained it like oh maybe they were working together and then he just went

28:58Ben Mandelker: behind her back and all this yeah it's hard to know um but she's in shock and she can't believe it and hayley tells us when i first saw the headline about her divorce i stonewalled it because i and i didn't read it because i know how invasive being the tabloids is basically i was getting divorced in that moment from John and eight children. That's how I felt. And I was like, no more, no more. I can't take this anymore. No further questions, please. None. And I totally get it. Because the only reason she was with him was because her mother made her do it. And now she's left with eight children resenting her as well as tabloids coming after her.

29:39Ben Mandelker: I felt my own way by me stonewalling because I basically was seeing myself for the tabloids again it was me showing her respect because i was basically saying si i did this before you it was kind of me it's the person who's been famous for longer i'm sorry and i don't know if it's tupac who said it but it's not your enemies who get you it's always your own people and that's the truest thing i ever heard maybe if it was tupac i don't know learn from utah it's like you better watch your fucking step bitch better quote me right so hayley's like well guess what i got some xanax if you need it oh my god this bitch is like a pharmacy she's like yeah well you know you room with the right one this weekend i don't know if it was tupac who said it but you know i got pills in the bag so just let me know what you need listen i don't know if tupac is the one who said this but i'm here to take your mind off the shish bibble i don't know if it was tupac who said it but big mac mcdl t a quarter pounder with cheese filet fish a hamburger a cheeseburger a half a meal mcdonald's can't hit the goldie franchise regular or larger size am i right god they really used to make them so good those commercials Listen, maybe Tupac said it.

31:04Hold the pickles. Hold the lettuce. Special orders don't upset us. So Erica is like, I've never taken a Xanax before, you guys. Whatever. Stop. What are you, raw dog in life? She's like, raw dog in life?

31:24Ben Mandelker: What does that even mean? Shushka Bibble over here. Just really can't keep up. I'm Erica. I've never heard of raw dogging or Xanax. What is happening here? I know I made the right decision to come because what was I going to do? Stay home and cry? I need to be around others to help me get through the situation. So Haley's like, okay, I want to see Karen. And Erica's like, no, it's Kendra. And Haley's like, Kendra. Who's Kendra? Don't worry. It's just some shishka bibble. she's my alter ego like when i get drunk i turn into kendra but she's in prison though okay because she's so bad she's so bad she needed takeout okay let me tell you a year and a half ago on our wedding day we're in egypt and there's like this moment where i was just like so gone and i got on the microphone and i was like this food isn't as good as taco bell taco bell's even better and my My husband was just so annoyed.

32:26He took the mic from me, and that's why Kendra went to prison.

32:32Ben Mandelker: Ankara's family hates her. That's what this story is really saying. They're like, this bitch brought a personalized blanket to a private island, and then when we paid for this wedding in front of the pyramids, you complained that there wasn't Taco Bell? I can't wait to meet her in-laws. Yeah, they hate her. And I can kind of get it. um oh wait i looked up taco island no taco bell taco island jet um taco bell does not currently operate any restaurants in egypt i was actually surprised by that that i just read that right now i was surprised five seconds ago i surprised myself i thought for sure there was a taco bell in egypt but there is a starbucks in one of those pyramids which is pretty cool there is no that was shish kabibble ronnie come on believe it i feel like everywhere has a strip mall now even the pyramids that was the joke that was the joke you gotta lean on the joke ronnie you know i'm not well-traveled enough to get it okay you know i don't i don't know if it was tupac who said it but if you have to explain the joke it wasn't a good joke in the first place or you're talking to Ronnie.

33:42So she's like, yeah, she's on the death set. And these people were so mad that I said, you know, like tacos are forever. So that's where her line at the beginning comes from. Like, I love tacos. And this worries me for Erica that this is her whole personality. The bad girl part of her wanted Taco Bell one time when she was drunk. i also don't i'm not like this whole like kendra i you know we've seen people with their drunken

34:15Ben Mandelker: alter egos we had leah mcsweeney we just suffered through dark side danny like we we know alter egos i just don't believe that she has an alter ego that's that's gonna be like that i feel like her alter ego is her just being drunk and then passing out at like 9 p.m because she's like a fitness person and which means that she probably gets drunk off of like one glass of wine and then she probably thinks it's so outrageous like oh my god i'm so drunk right now this is crazy and then she passes out and the next day she's like kendra really came out last night right i was i was singing the amen theme song that was wild no no yeah it's like a very innocent alter ego and her name is Kendra?

34:59Her alter ego name is Kendra? I don't know. I just, I'm not really buying it. So then we go to Erica still going on about Taco Bell and Cy's like, what? You eat Taco Bell? Don't you get the shits? And she's like, no because I don't eat the beans in it. Well, what are you even doing? You know? You're not even dangerous enough to eat the beans in a Taco Bell. Yeah, exactly.

35:23Ben Mandelker: Then we go over to Aaron and Daisy's room and Aaron's like, so how do you feel about everything and daisy's like you know i want to talk to sigh because i know she's upset and i cannot believe it you know i feel so bad for her she's like yeah i feel so bad like my heart is like really broken for her and i can't wait to find some way to come for her later this season it'll be it'll it'll really be spectacular then we go to carols and jessel comes in it's like oh let me see your looks for the trip aunt Carol. She's like, I don't do looks. I'm just a girl who's just happy being a girl. I don't care about all that.

36:05As I look at the door here in Mosquito Island, I think Mosquito. Just because it's spelled differently, does that make the sting any less potent? I couldn't help but wonder if If maybe we put a silk pillowcase around this island, maybe the mosquitoes couldn't get in after all.

36:36Should a private island have its own silk pillowcase? Or is an island not an island with a few wrinkles? They say that no woman is an island. But what happens if that island is watching another island on TV?

36:59God, look at you. You're so organized. You've got packing cubes. Look at that. What is this? Socks. Why do you have all these socks here? And they're like those white knee socks with, you know, like the Adidas socks that people would pull all the way up to their knees in the 80s.

37:18Ben Mandelker: It's kind of like American apparel. and um first of all i love jessel just coming in saying oh look you're so organized you have packing cubes she says it in like such a cut fitnessy way like like who would have packing cubes um and i didn't really understand why she was being dismissive of packing cubes because they're like actually very very helpful i literally just got some new ones yesterday but i loved it i was like i don't know why you have this you have this condescending view of like the packing cubes um but like i i i'm loving jessel this season and i really again i'm gonna say it every week like if you're not if you're if you're if she's if you're aghast by her then guess what she's doing her job and it takes so little to it's like what are you packing cubes people like monster killer And Carol's like Well I'll tell you I really like socks We're on an island Carol I feel my feet I like my feet to be cozy It's weird Especially when I travel I want my feet to be cozy So these are kind of like Silk pillowcases for my toes

38:34We're here for two days And what do you have Five pairs of socks

38:40Ben Mandelker: Why do you have so many socks? I thought I got away from Povet and here he is again in sock form. But they're tube socks. Okay.

38:53She's so confusing. I don't even know if she knows where the fuck she is right now. I mean, tube socks on an island. No, but I'm wearing them now. Look, I have never.

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41:33Ben Mandelker: I also think it's a funny way that Carol's like, I don't do looks. I'm like, you do do looks. You just do a different kind of look, but that's okay. And so Jessel is like, it's like she's lost on a freaking safari or something. So Jessel, she cannot get over the socks. She's like counting all of Carol's socks. It's objectively obnoxious. And Carol's like, I'm feeling judged. But you did call me a dingbat. So dingbat must count socks, apparently. Here I go. Two, three, four, five, seven. Carol, you have too many socks in here. Well, that was a term of endearment. Oh, really? You're not going to flip that on me, term of endearment.

42:10Well, first of all, dingbat is a cute word. Google dingbat. She's like, I mean, Google dingbat, I guess. Google dingbat.

42:20Ben Mandelker: when she said when jessel repeated google dingbat did she why did she repeat it that way but she did she think the term was google dingbat oh i guess it's google dingbat it's better than a regular dingbat it's an informative dingbat she's telling me it's in urban dictionary which you may not know about but us gen zers use it all the time us urban gen zers we're really into it it's like urban dictionary i don't think you'll find dingbat in urban dictionary by the way and they pop up on the screen well in fact it is in the urban dictionary i think what jessel was saying was like how is that urban that's like old lady terminology exactly not urban urban dictionary terminology and it does literally say a stupid or eccentric person uh there's also a ridiculous silly or stupid person um i always love the alternate definitions because they get crazier and crazier as you go down uh we have so a ridiculous and silly one you know what it actually froze the screen froze so apologies i won't be able to tell you what else it says so and kentucky a slang term for somebody so daft that they literally don't know which way is up that's also a dingbat okay yeah usually i find if you keep reading long enough there's always like some sexual term for it too it's like oh here's that there's also a guy who likes taking dick up his nostril until his brain goes ding it's like whoa wow really yeah it always gets worse like here's one dingbat female and perhaps effeminate males that are exceptionally flighty and irresponsible are often called dingbats reason and accountability are concepts that dingbats refuse to acknowledge oh well thank god there's no there's no non-effeminate men that could be called dingbats yeah that one felt really personal yeah very upset yeah oh okay stupid or eccentric person is what they put up on the screen and jessel's like what what kind of emerged from this.

44:28You know, let's talk serious now. All right, Tube Sock. Listen, the thing with Carolyn Bessette, it's just all I was trying to say is she had iconic style. That's all I meant. Well, I know. I just wanted to go away. I wanted to be private again. I just can't explain to anybody. It's just so uniquely unique to have the most painful part of your life being dramatized on a TV show. I know, darling. I mean, I've got someone playing parvet right now at the house.

44:58Ben Mandelker: Do you know how hard it was for me, for my socially inept child to not get into Tom Cruise's daughter's school? That was difficult and that played out on television for me. So we're really quite bonded on this. Do you remember when she called her daughter socially inept by accident on the application for that school? My child is socially inept. I can't believe she didn't get in there. Poppet's like, you should probably look up words before you put them onto the school forums. So I hope we're okay. You know, it's just, you know, my life is dramatized on a TV show. And it's just, it's a phenomenon.

45:42Ben Mandelker: Yeah, it's like a pop culture phenomenon. That's actually pretty amazing. She's like, yeah, but like, it's just hard. It hurts me right now. I can't even imagine. You know, we're still getting to know each other, but my dad passed away a year ago, and I kind of have done this thing that I've become really good at. Oh my God, are those drones outside?

46:04Ben Mandelker: Jessel finally baring her soul and admitting, like, I have to act this way, because if I don't, I cry. Oh my God, there's a drone! Oh my God, when will FX ever stop? The love story must end. They're so invasive. I just love that Carol is like, listen, my trauma is so hard. All these years later, seeing my trauma again. And Jess was like, I have trauma too. And here's what's hurt. The drones. Oh, my God. And then she never even comes back to it. She's like, oh, yeah, what about your dad? I know. Part of me suspected they just did a hard cut to like 45 minutes later in their conversation. but I just went with it.

46:47Ben Mandelker: And so they're looking and she's like, it's a drone. Oh my God, Ryan Murphy, stay away. Stay away. And then Jess was like, well, maybe it's like a security thing like to make sure there's no mosquitoes getting into your tube socks. I don't understand why there's a drone out there. Wait a minute. It's a bird. It's a bird. Oh, those are birds. You really need glasses. Well, birds can spy too. You know, birds are the original people who leave Carolyn Bessette fashion goss. You know, they roll up little gossip things and put it in their little beak and they would take it to a king. Didn't you ever see Game of Thrones?

47:28They would always send birds to each other. I really can't watch Game of Thrones because I once had a chair and it got broken. And it's just really hard for me to watch a show about Thrones because that show is a sensation for everyone. but it's me reliving my chair. Oh, God, this poor tube sock obsessed lady. I mean, you're sitting there thinking there's, you know, CSI FBI drones spying on us, and they're looking right into a room, Carolyn. And she's like, wait a minute, my name is Carol. Carol, right. Being bad.

48:00Ben Mandelker: The fact that she called Carol, Carolyn. Oh, my God. I don't know how I would have gotten that mixed up. One is a fashion icon, one is a tube sock. All right. so daisy and aaron go outside where it's like some sort of like tornado coming through it's so windy and this they sit on some seats amid some patchy crab grass it's not the most scenic little exterior shot and um aaron's like i really need this trip right now because with everything going on between my house and the damage i have to figure it out and i've got four kids and they are at challenging ages and then mezcaloom is going through growing pains because it turns out someone else introduced mezcal to america first so we have to really figure what's going on with that do we have to sue them i don't know i just have so much constantly weighing on me like i really need to decompress myself and just have fun with my girlfriends like have a cocktail oh daisy just breaks in she's like yeah so you're gonna say anything to jessel i've decided i'm gonna be really messy all of a sudden on episode yeah i don't know if someone had a talk with daisy or what but she comes in swinging today it was the popcorn ceilings she was really upset about the popcorn ceilings and she's decided to get her revenge by turning erin against jessel well they already returned but she's gonna inflame it some more so erin is like i do want to talk to jessel because i'm just like over it okay it's like wearing only one striped shirt i'm over it there have to be at least two if not three at the same time this he says but like how many times have you guys like tried to make amends and then nothing happens like i know you've had talks with her before like when you said you went to lunch she was horrible to me like no one literally no one has ever been that horrible to me at lunch you know and she said i was a one-person ponzi scheme like what is that she said have you googled yourself i mean that's gross that's gross like you're logging up information what did jessel say to her last week i thought it was so funny she's like you think you're cindy crawford but you're really blossom whatever it was i wish they played that clip instead because it was like joss like clearly crafted that diss on the way over and was so excited for it.

50:27It was just such a strange compare and contrast.

50:31Ben Mandelker: You're not Zendaya. You're Blossom. You're a bootleg Houdini. I loved that scene. I was sad I couldn't be there to recap that with you. But out of all of that, the most offensive to her was, have you gone all day or so? That is gross. That is gross. Daisy's like, yeah, Jaisal told me about that too. And Erica too, like they were trying to make it seem like you had money problems. Like, money's really gross. Google, money problems, cockling hands. Oh yeah, and they were like, maybe the flood was for insurance. And Erin's like, what? Erin's furious. And so, you know, she's like, I can't even believe it.

51:20Ben Mandelker: Okay, now I'm fucking pissed. i i now i'm pissed i'm no no no no no so now she's you know she goes storming off because now she knows she's got a leg up because it was a you know i mean i when they said it they were they were to me they were cracking a joke and it was you know if it weren't on tv it would just be like a little shady joke on the side but like this is on tv it's becoming it's gonna be a thing you know it's like she had the kids ages on the wall that were destroyed and photographs and it's it's gonna be a whole thing and erin knows it and she is gonna lean into it yes so that is disgusting everything in my house my pictures my pictures like oh don't get upset why are you so upset like that is so mean googling insurance gackling guys and then daisy does the classic bone collector thing when she tells us oh my god what the fuck did i do i mean i'm not trying to add more fuel to fire with him i just want everybody to get along and have fun and you know i would say eat but there's no food so um you know just have a good time like you want everyone to get along so you're going to tell aaron that two girls were laughing behind her back and potentially you know like surmising that this was an insurance fraud situation no yeah i don't know aaron crying and having this big fit is hilarious the week after she was like well i would rather be boring than being the person who broke up a marriage with eight children that's right that's right um so erin is now you know having a moment and everyone else is getting ready for dinner and hayley is like oh my god oh my god you're never gonna believe this shishka bibble i just broke my forehead with my curly wand and then um erica announces that dinner tonight is going to be in the pool we see them setting it up it's very much like that date that huda went on uh her final date on love island where there's like a table set up in like a very shallow pool i hate everything about this i don't want to have i don't i don't want to be eating in a pool unless i'm in a bathing suit but like if i drop my napkin it's done for and i drop my napkin a lot like i don't want to deal with that i don't want my cell phone to actually tumble out of my pocket okay i don't want any i don't want i don't want i don't want to eat in water like that i also like as a pool i don't want you to eat in me you know what i mean like i was a waiter for a very long time and you should see what the floor looks like when you get up to leave not you personally but people it's disgusting personally okay people are monsters yeah i think it's a terrible terrible idea if it was like maybe if it's like 100 degrees out i'd be okay with it because it's like so hot But again, I have to be in my bathing suit.

54:11Ben Mandelker: And the fact that Erica does not give these women a heads up until after they're already in their looks. And she doesn't give them a heads up before they even arrive at the islands. They have like an appropriate look for dinner in a pool. So they're all in these like very expensive, nice gowns. And they're all, it's just, it's a clusterfuck. Congratulations, you've reached the end of part one of a two-part recap. For part two, go look for the recap that says part two. See you over there, suckers. Watch what Crappens would like to thank its premium sponsors. Ain't no thing like Alison King. Our way is the Amber way.

54:51Ben Mandelker: It's the Foster and the Furious. It's Amanda Foster. It's always automatic with Ashley Otto. Put your hands together for Carly Clap. Get on the right foot with Chrissy Offutt. She's not just a Sheila, she's a Daniela. Itchles! We never miss her call. It's Diane Call. Big yay. It's Emily Gauthier. Erin McNicholas. She don't miss no trick-a-less. Hala Nagila Weber. You'll never hide from Heidi Eleanor Jones. It's no BS. We love Hugo ES. Jamie. She has no last namey. Sips some scotch with Jessica Trotch. She's our pal-a-ger. It's Karen Gallagher. She's our favorite streamer, Caroline Peacock. Kristen the Piston Anderson.

55:31Let's give a kisserino to Lisa Lino. Fresh as a daisy, it's Maisie McHenry. Come again? We're obsessed with Margaret O 'Halloran. Megan Berg. You can't have a burger without the Berg. I love-a-ya, Olivia Williamson. She's the lady of the house, it's Rachel Sherouse. Yes, we canna, it's Savannah.

55:51Ben Mandelker: Cast a spell with Shannon Spellman. Let's share with Sharon Eldridge. Don't get mixed signals, we love Signy. Darn Skippy, it's Tippi. And our super premium sponsors. She's VVIP, it's Amanda V Somebody get us 10 cc's of Betsy MD We're taking the gold with Brenda Silva Let's get real with Caitlin O 'Neill Put us on a stretcher, it's Charlotte Fletcher Don't get salty with Christine Pepper Can't have a meal without the Emily Sides Who, what, why, where, and Gwen Pentland Nobody holds a candle to Jamie Kendall We got our wish, it's Jen Plish My favorite Murdo, Karen McMurdo Let's get savage with Laura Wildman.

56:33Ben Mandelker: In the study with a candlestick, it's Leslie Peacock. We're ride or die for Lisa Ryder Barron. She's a whiz, it's Liz Sarthy. Always killing it, it's Lola Alkalani. Roger that, it's Marlis Rogers. The incredible edible Matthews sisters. She eases our woes, it's Melissa St. Rose. There's a chance of meatballs, it's Rebecca Cloud. She's our princess, it's Rebecca Prince. She's the queen bee, it's Sarah Lemke. We cannot tell a lie. It's Sarah Talafson. Yes, we canna. It's Savannah. Shannon, out of a cannon, Anthony. We have no notes. Shelby Walter. Please don't stop. It's Solian Pop. Let's take off with Tam LaPlane.

57:13Ben Mandelker: Strike a pose. It's Tori Rose. She ain't no shrinking Violet Kuchar. We love you guys.

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