#3570 RHOSLC S7E4 Part One: Bad Vibrations

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0:36Ronnie Karam: There is such a better way to spend your time than doom scrolling or watching terrible TV. Get some stories in your life, okay? Audible is perfect for that. I use it while I'm cleaning the house, while I'm running errands. I listen to books all day, every day with Audible.

0:55Ben Mandelker: Yeah, they have a massive library of audiobooks and ad-free podcasts. And it is really the perfect thing to turn on when you're taking a long drive, washing some dishes. Like, enrich yourself.

1:06Ronnie Karam: New members can start listening with a 30-day free trial at audible.com slash WWC.

1:33Ronnie Karam: well hello and welcome to watch what crappens i'm ronnie and that's ben who's hydrating over there i'm hydrating look at that trying to sell us a coffee or what you know this is an unsponsored

1:46Ben Mandelker: promotion of blue bottle coffee and their ice nola one of my favorite coffee drinks on the planet Well, there you go. They're not paying for this. I'm just endorsing it.

1:59Ronnie Karam: Watch what crappens. Today is Salt Lake City Day, and we're back on tour. So come see us. Next week, we're going to be in Minneapolis and Detroit, which we're really excited about. Love both those places. Also, before the end of the year, we're going to be in Philly, Washington, D.C., Dallas, Austin, and Houston, Nashville, Clearwater, Fort Lauderdale. and that's for the year and then after that in the new year we're going to be in sam fran salt lake city denver charleston atlanta seattle vancouver portland toronto boston and then we end with the golden crappies in new york city on february 25th so get your tickets over at

2:42Ben Mandelker: watch what crappens.com just had a great realization which is that we're going to Detroit next week, which means Detroit pizza! I love Detroit pizza. I can't wait. I'm so excited. I just realized. I mean, I know you can get Detroit pizza out of Detroit, but it's particularly good in Detroit. So, getting excited for that. We get it every time. Every time. Every time I get it. Maybe I should switch it up and get a different sort of Detroit specialty, but that Detroit pizza is so good.

3:15Ronnie Karam: They make up their own cheese.

3:16Ben Mandelker: You have to get it. I know. It's so, so good. I mean, actually, technically, I did have Detroit style pizza at pizza mama when I was there last month. So, you know, that was very special style is different than Detroit in Detroit. So that's right. Can I say something else about pizza mama? I took a takeout menu and I was like, this'll be a great keepsake, a little souvenir from pizza mama, this little menu. And then, um, it was in my bag through all my little adventures across Europe, but it got all sorts of cramped. It got messed up. And I was like, I should throw this out. And every time I felt like I was going to throw it out, something told me, don't throw it out because pizza mama will inevitably go out of business.

3:56Ben Mandelker: And then I'll be able to say, look, I have a piece of pizza mama that like, you know, like how many people wish they still had their little sales tags from Kyle by Aileen too. You know, these places don't last forever and they are part of Bravo lore. So I have kept my tattered pizza mama menu and I think I'm actually going to frame it. Is that excessive? No.

4:20Ronnie Karam: Go for it. I mean, listen, you're a Bravo fan. That's what we do. That's what we do. It's like when people went to Tom Girardi's sale. Like Ryan Bailey went to Tom Girardi's estate sale. Well, he's not dead, but you know what I mean. His bankruptcy sale or whatever they were doing. And he bought all sorts of shit, you know, and he still talks about it. He's like, oh, I got this from the Tom Girardi sale. What do you think of that?

4:47Ben Mandelker: Didn't he buy back one of Erica's things that she... Wasn't he trying to get in touch with Erica to be like, hey, I got your things that Tom was selling. I saved them. Wasn't he trying to... Oh, he did? Oh, no. I don't know. I hope not. Or is that just like... I mean, I don't know. Who knows? I just don't remember. I got your stuff. Hey, I got your stuff in the bankruptcy tale.

5:10Ronnie Karam: Want it?

5:11Ben Mandelker: I think he was trying to get it back to her. like hey Tom was trying to sell this precious thing of yours and I got it and I'm going to give it back to you now this could also be a complete fabrication I mean what do I know I'm just a man on the internet drinking a delicious coffee drink but making yeah making shit up just starting rumors about our sweet Ryan Bailey

5:33Ronnie Karam: kind rumors though at least did you hear that Ryan Bailey tried to get somebody back they stole from the bankruptcy court get him

5:42Ben Mandelker: it was like a childhood thing i feel like it was it was some sort of like childhood photo or something where he's like hey i saved this that way you can have it or i don't again i this could all be a complete fabrication it's a thursday there's a lot of stuff on our minds yeah i guess

5:58Ronnie Karam: i don't even i don't i don't know that doesn't that doesn't ring a bell with me but i wouldn't be surprised anyway the point is pizza mama pizza mama mini frame it detroit yeah uh today is real Housewives of Salt Lake City Day, Season 7, Episode 4. Fortune and Miss Fortune. Mm-mm. Oh. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. I thought it was going to take a while for Whitney to just start making stuff up to start fights right after she said she apologized to Meredith and Lisa. But nope, here we are. I mean, I guess she started in Episode 2. But good to see Whitney's still working. Also, Whitney announced her official divorce filing.

6:45Ronnie Karam: Serving. Her divorce filing. Her divorce filing yesterday on the day of Salt Lake City.

6:55Ben Mandelker: Yeah, she timed that nicely. Yeah, so Whitney and Justin, another forever couple destroyed. But yeah, we have another episode here. and again, another Kwai-centric episode. I still continue to wonder why Kwai is not a full-time housewife. It is really puzzling to me. You know, and also she got like a big kind of moment in the trailer for the season, and they don't do that for Friends of. I have to imagine she was supposed to be a full-time, and they cut her last second, and I want to know what was behind that. Why? Why Kwai?

7:31Ronnie Karam: I think she's failing her audition, is what I think. After watching this week, I think she's just failing. She's not doing great. I mean, they keep attacking her and stuff and she just has nothing to say. Like, you can't do that. This is your audition. You're supposed to come in here. You know they're gonna come at you with stuff, especially now after the last episode. So, you know, come in with your own lies to spew back at them.

7:55Ben Mandelker: I mean, I thought she was... Last week, I thought she was okay when Angie tried to confront her with a toothbrush and she's like, yeah i did it and then when she told whitney all i could think about is how disappointed my brother will be in you i thought that was like good house wifery i mean it's way better than what carmella does over in orange county you know so it was decent and then she had her whole like fake crying

8:17Ronnie Karam: thing on the side you know being a drama queen and not going into the restaurant so yeah i thought it was decent last week but this week this week no this week was not good she didn't handle it well She just didn't handle it at all. She just kind of sat there and looked at him. And this cast is so funny because they're so used to just fighting and yelling and screaming and then making up the next second. You know, they're one of the better casts about that. And so they were like, okay, you're going to give us nothing. Anyway, what else do you want to talk about? And then they just kind of went on.

8:46Ronnie Karam: And then it cuts to her shell-shocked in the corner like, what do I even say? So maybe that's why she's not a main housewife.

8:54Ben Mandelker: I mean, Whitney's being real shitty to her. But we're going to get to that. I'm sure we'll have a lot to say when we get to that scene. But for right now, we are in day two. It's now March 18th. It's the day after St. Patrick's Day. And, you know, everyone's checking in with their loved ones. Bronwyn's on the phone with Muzzy. And she's like, oh, well, this hotel must really know they really love me because they gave me three Dr. Peppers. Isn't that amazing, Muzzy? And Muzzy's like, oh, yeah, the preferred beverage for sinners. Enjoy that. in outer darkness.

9:30Ronnie Karam: Enjoy your caffeine. Your caffeine, your Satan-sponsored drink. No, it's not caffeine that they can't have. It's heated tea or coffee. Looked it up. Really? Runner. Yeah.

9:44Ben Mandelker: Heated. Heated. Wait, wait, wait. Excuse me. Wait, wait, wait. Hot. They can have iced coffee but not hot coffee?

9:53Ronnie Karam: Oh, well, that's a good question. Let's look.

9:56Ben Mandelker: I mean, if you can have cold brew, then like everything's solved.

10:00Ronnie Karam: I think it is, can Mormons have iced coffee? Oh, it's asked very much because it was an odd. No, they cannot drink it. Word of wisdom. Members of the church of blah, blah. It's a very long title. Follow a health code called the word of wisdom, which bans hot drinks. Okay, but I said iced coffee. Temperature does not matter. church leaders officially interpret hot drinks to mean coffee and tea in all forms

10:28Ben Mandelker: that is a real mental workaround there but drinks are banned and if it's cold it's still hot it's like don't you know they're saying basically a cold like an iced coffee is a cold version of something that was once hot so therefore it's banned but cold brew let me tell you something There's a reason why it's called cold brew. Because it never touches heat. It's just grounds that are steeped. Yeah, but the laws were made.

10:57Ronnie Karam: The word of wisdom came in Brigham Young days, which was a long time ago. So they didn't have, you know, Starbucks. They didn't have cold brew back then. And so people were probably trying to get around it by being like, oh, there's some coffee, but I'll just let it sit for a while and not be hot. And then I'll still drink it because it's not hot. And they were like, excuse me. that is also, that was hot. So you can't, so maybe it's just like an old rule that they haven't changed yet.

11:23Ben Mandelker: It's kind of like when you see someone who is like really hot in high school or in their 20s and then you see them later on in life and they're like, not as hot as they used to be, but they still sort of have that residual hot. Like the memory of their hotness keeps them hot despite the fact they've kind of let themselves go. That's I guess what -

11:43Ronnie Karam: You'd still drink them.

11:45Ben Mandelker: Yeah, because you're like, they're not hot anymore, but I remember when they were hot, and this is kind of like a retroactive victory for me. Right?

11:55Ronnie Karam: Who says you can't fuck a memory?

12:01You know?

12:03Ronnie Karam: Bronwyn's really going, she's really trying for this Dr. Pepper sponsorship. Has she had Dr. Pepper sponsorships before? Because she has been pushing this. Like, my favorite ring is Dr. Pepper. Like ever since she got on, because Lisa, you know, famously has her like Diet Coke that she's known for. So Bronwyn's like following in, following up with them. Well, I also have a beverage that I love very much. It's called the Dr. Pepper.

12:30Ben Mandelker: It's literally so shameless the way she is just like aiming to have some sort of beverage sponsorship. Excuse me, I'm going to just have this blue bottle of coffee real quickly.

12:44Ronnie Karam: refreshing so then we go to ashley kwai who's on the phone with her wrestling ball lookalike husband steven and she's like oh my god steven we're in a hotel it is so old he's like really how old is it ditto she's like um it's like so old maybe from like i don't know 19 20 I just put my head in my hands Fucking Americans Everything to us is old 1920 is not old Yeah

13:17Ben Mandelker: 1920 is like a blip It's a blip for everyone else I mean look You've got Erica on New York Getting married in front of pyramids This hotel in San Francisco is not old And then you have Lisa On the phone with John And she's like I look haggard and Angie's talking to Mary, checking in. You are missed in a very Greek way. And Mary is basically hanging back with Robert Sr. And Mary's talking about how grief is coming in levels and waves, et cetera. But she's happy that Angie's having fun. And then Angie's like, look at me. I have a little bag. Cause she like lifts up, was it like a toiletry bag or something?

13:59Ben Mandelker: And Mary, I just thought it was so nice that Mary's like, that's a pretty color. It's just like a generic green bag, but I thought it was like sweet that Mary found the beauty in it. Hmm. Yeah.

14:10Ronnie Karam: So she's catching her up on the girls' trip so far. And she's like, well, it was up to a great start. But now, and then we see a rewind of everything that's happened in San Francisco, which really isn't that much.

14:25Ben Mandelker: No.

14:26Ronnie Karam: And then Angie bringing up the toothbrush. But then we cut back to Kwai talking to Stephen and she's like, well, Whitney really brought it live. You know, the whole toothbrush thing. Like they're trying to use me shoving your toothbrush up an elephant's asshole against me. And he's like, oh, God, that was so good. And that's when I knew you were mine forever. The minute you said you've got shit in your teeth and I said still. And you said, no, it's literal shit.

14:53Ben Mandelker: Wow, I've got to marry this person. I felt so connected to you. so we see all of that happening and then uh bronwyn's telling muzzy muzzy is probably hard muzzy is like my daughter is going to hell like like the story she's telling me why is she hanging out with these heathens you know i thought once she got a bob she'd be saved but it's never gonna

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18:19Ronnie Karam: trip i don't think seems like a very fun or nice person what do you think i don't have enough

18:25Ben Mandelker: of a read on him we've really only had one scene and he doesn't say much here so

18:31Ronnie Karam: i think i'm saying that because i saw i didn't even see clips i just saw people posting about heather being on watch what happens last night and apparently they did an audience vote like Like, are Heather and Tripp a long, are they going to make it for the long haul or something? And it was 75 % no. I'm sure she did not like that. She did not like that. And he just sat there like giving, you know, pissed off Angie worker eyes the whole time.

19:03Ben Mandelker: So now Angie goes to Heather's room. And this winds up being a remarkably sad scene. So they're talking about last night and Heather is like, I just told Tripp all of what happened. He's my forever man. And he just laughs it off. He's just funny about it. He says, this is fucking hard to be friends with you guys. He said, because you guys are basically meat grinders as women.

19:32Ronnie Karam: Yeah, he sounds great. and and he's like well you know he is so good for you Heather because you can talk to him about stuff going on in your life like I remember do you remember when we met Heather years ago and you you know and Heather's like yes you had a Lamborghini and a huge business and I was getting divorced and now how many years you married to Sean like I'm breaking up with Sean there I said it Oh my God. This is horrible. Heather.

20:08Ben Mandelker: It feels Roman when I am Greek. Uh, and so she is, she has, it's really sad. She's, she's been trying. Clearly she's been trying to talk about this and no one's, no one's asked her how she's doing. So she had to do this. Remember when we went to high school, our reunion and you were just like the sad old maid. And everyone was like, Oh, poor Heather getting divorced. her life is over but i had a lambo and a hot husband and everything seemed great and now look at me you know she's kind of like she had to tell that whole story just to get just to sort of be able to move the conversation over to the fact that they're bottom part yeah and it's like remember

20:48Ronnie Karam: when we met you were pathetic and i was great and now you're great and i'm pathetic what the hell and she starts crying and heather is pretending she had no idea like she hasn't watched his show and saw that Angie's relationship has not been great. I mean, Angie's whole plot on the show is like, me and my husband don't speak and don't like each other, you know, and sleep on opposite ends of the city block and stuff. So while it's sad, it's not surprising. I mean, were you surprised by the Angie and Sean thing?

21:20Ben Mandelker: I mean, I was a little surprised. Yeah, I kind of thought it was like there was a distance, but I sort of thought it was a storyline for the season. And then, yeah, I was sad. And then Angie tells us, you know.

21:35Ronnie Karam: I'm not saying it's not sad. I'm just saying it's not surprising.

21:39Ben Mandelker: Yeah, I was a little surprised, but I'm often surprised by things.

21:43Ronnie Karam: I'm surprised. You know who I'm surprised by? Are you surprised that I'm ignoring you or that I'm interrupting you right now? I'm sure you are. I was really surprised by Whitney and Justin filing. I didn't think that they were really going to get divorced. first maybe it's because Whitney tells somebody lies yeah I just yeah I thought that they were going to stay together I don't know I'm all I really am usually surprised when couples break up because if I meet couples when they're together I just think that they're going to stay together forever I think it's just how I was raised where I'm like you you're good you're together forever I don't know I get used to it in my mind and then they break up I'm all Angie I wasn't shocked I I think because we watched the Wife Swap show, the episode with Angie, and I was like, you need to leave Sean.

22:32Ronnie Karam: Like, Sean clearly hates everything. He's never happy. You know, leave him. And then Sean's, you know, gross posts and stuff, which Angie kind of hints at. Yeah, she suggests it in this. Because she's like, you know, it's difficult. You get older and then you get different ideologies. I was like, oh, yeah.

22:53Ben Mandelker: there was there's i've always had a sneaking suspicion since the news of their demise came out that that played a bit more of a role than maybe is being indicated like i in my mind can imagine angie saying something like why are you liking these accounts we're on bravo you know what the audience is you know who you know who's watching this is going to be a really bad look for me why would you do that and it like turns into a larger fight like in my mind it turned into him being like, I just want to follow who I want to follow. And I'm sick and tired of not being able to live my life and enjoy, you know, who I want to enjoy.

23:30Ben Mandelker: And then like it, like everything unravels from there. Like that's the theory I have in my brain.

23:35Ronnie Karam: I'm not giving up my passport to the manosphere. Angie.

23:41Ben Mandelker: Theo Vaughn has a lot of interesting things to say. So.

23:47Ronnie Karam: Save Andrew Tate. Save Andrew Tate.

23:51Ben Mandelker: That poor guy. Sometimes. God, did you see the latest headlines about him from like yesterday? He had bestiality videos with a horse and an eel. The eel is very confusing to me. A horse. I'm like, okay, that seems like it's part of like standard bestiality stories. But an eel. I don't get that. And I don't want to get that. I don't want clarification on it.

24:14Ronnie Karam: Yeah. That's something you definitely don't click the headline to read further. You're just like, okay, bestiality, horses, and eels. All right. Well, that's enough Andrew Tate news for me for a year. Eel is really. I don't care. Maybe he was watching Little Mermaid or something in prison.

24:31Ben Mandelker: Maybe he was watching a lot of Below Deck Down Under. So Angie is. That's amore. Fat, fat, fat, fat, fat. So Angie is telling, just saying, she tells Heather, do you remember when you said there were times when you were just smiling and just but you were struggling through it and you didn't say anything you just kept on smiling well I started to feel that way yeah I guess it happened the first time I reached for a bolero jacket and I thought uh oh something is wrong here I'm turning into Heather Heather's like I had no idea tell me all about it Ange and Angie tells she's like we were incredible business partners you know put everything to you know like we were a great team and she essentially says that they were just co-existing and um i think it was around here where she says like you know we are we have all these roles we're daughters we're mothers we're wives and then you get to a certain point in your life where like the oh actually it was heather who said it look at that it was it was our own heather gay who basically says like you you're playing you're in these roles at a certain point you start you look at yourself and like but who am i who am i and uh that may be something that's contributing to angie's situation yeah she's like

25:57Ronnie Karam: you are right heather we are wives we are women we are hair salon owners we are greeks and uh the producer's like are you you guys still do that do you do the hokey pokey with sean what's what's going on there she's like let's just say we do not act like married people

26:20Ben Mandelker: there is no feta going into the spinach if that's what you're trying to say the olive is not stuffed with blue cheese the grape leaf is unfilled

26:40Ronnie Karam: he eats his grape leaves without dipping them into hummus like oh no this is serious i need a hero um so it's sad because she's crying and stuff and you know we like angie and she's got green eyes now she's seen talking she's like i will only talk about divorce with green eyes it was really sad i thought she was actually being there was like a

27:06Ben Mandelker: there was an emotional honesty that she was putting forth both towards heather and towards us and um you could see that she had had these i these thoughts on her mind for a long time and she hasn't verbalized them because it's scary to verbalize them because once you verbalize them they become real and it almost feels like you can't go back and i felt like that was all coming through and it was a it was a sad scene um yeah so heather hugs her and she cries and stuff

27:33Ronnie Karam: and then she's like heather i need you to keep this to yourself i mean it heather and she's like i won't tell a soul i will not tell whitney angie is getting divorced texting texting away I was actually proud of Heather that she didn't immediately go tell everybody. Like, wow, isn't it wonderful that you went to a vibrator shop and she's getting divorced? Did anybody get her a vibrator? You know, something like that. Because I thought, oh, gosh, you've got five minutes before Heather tells everybody. But at least in this episode, she kept it to herself.

28:08Ben Mandelker: Heather is going to do the sneaky thing of, you guys, I think you should lay off Angie. Just trust me on this. She's going through a lot. I can't say more than that. Just trust me. I'm like, is she getting divorced? I can't say anything. Just trust me. I promised her I wouldn't say anything. So she will technically not say anything, and she will lead all the horses to the water.

28:32Ronnie Karam: Yeah. Don't say horses right after we talked about Andrew Tate. Or water.

28:37Ben Mandelker: The eel is like, no!

28:41Ronnie Karam: That horse is coming towards me. so Bronwyn now texts the girls and she's like hi guys, good morning yeah, I hope everybody is good I planned quite a day some of you I like, some of you I don't like so we're going to have two events and one event is great we're going to talk to someone super important to me from my past it's going to be special and amazing the rest of you fuck off and you're going to do something horrible okay, see you downstairs

29:10Ben Mandelker: we had to watch Bronwyn really narrate this entire text message and we watch it slowly populate a text bubble and i think it was the act of having to watch that that made me slightly more invested in what these activities would be and i was so disappointed in the actual execution of them i thought they both sucked and i was embarrassed for her there and i didn't even get a special guest i thought we'd get christian

29:32Ronnie Karam: siriano yeah you know bromwin gets on my nerves here and there like every reality person that we cover but um i don't think that she should be the center of the cast i think that you know she's become very popular on the show and last i think especially after last season the producers were like this this season is centered on bronwyn and i just don't think she's i don't know like humorous enough to carry it off well she's not i think this is carry it off they don't need to center it on her i'm not saying fire could be a bad season for her no no but i think that i think this is

30:06Ben Mandelker: going to be a this is i don't think she is going to be a hero this season i think it's not gonna i don't think it's gonna work out well so then uh yeah brawn's basically like yeah we have this whole thing uh the science of how she divided the groups which is not terribly interesting she basically is going to have meredith and lisa over on on one activity and then she's going to stick them with angie and also kwai and then let me pull out a pipe for you to explain this because

30:33Ronnie Karam: it's really hard to understand okay lisa likes meredith and meredith likes lisa but meredith doesn't like whitney and britney doesn't like whitney and whitney doesn't like it's just you know you're taking the people that you like and shoving the other people over to another event

30:48Ben Mandelker: that's it it's a real chessboard um and uh then tonight they're gonna have dinner in chinatown so then we have meredith britney and whitney meeting up for breakfast and heather's getting mimosas, she's like encouraging Britney to get mimosas, which I feel like she just wants Britney to get drunk and say something ridiculous. And Whitney's like, It was kind of stressful last night. Cry. I don't even know where I stand with her. I'm like, here's a clue. She told you something in confidence and then you brought it to the group and that became the thing that the group used against her and now she's on the outs with most of the people in the group because of you who's supposed to be her best friend you're purposely trying to get

31:34Ronnie Karam: everybody to fight with her in her first episode that's yeah that's that's where you stand um i think she was doing the mimosa thing to point out that she's not drinking a mimosa she's like oh hi britney you want a mimosa i won't be having one but britney will um and she tells us quiet eyes Friendship is sacred. I've had so many great experiences with Kawhi. And I just told Angie about this situation because she was so paranoid about a new person coming to the group. And I said, she's not the kind of person that will come for you. At the worst thing she's going to do is a toothbrush in the toilet.

32:18Ronnie Karam: That's all. But I shouldn't have told the town gossip. You are the town gossip. I don't know how you said it. You were even on camera like, I wouldn't fuck with Kwai. Because what Kwai did to her own man. Whoops. Come on.

32:32Ben Mandelker: Yeah, exactly.

32:34Ronnie Karam: We just saw history. It was last week.

32:37Ben Mandelker: And if you're going to say the sentence, well, the worst thing I saw her do, the second half should be something like, she once stole a coffee from Starbucks. She stole someone's coffee from Starbucks. She was so thirsty. Or she went into the men's room to go pee or something like that. not like she took her husband's toothbrush and rimmed the rimmed the toilet bowl with it and made him brush his teeth like that's like legitimately like that is a that is a bad thing that's like not a good thing that's it's so it's so much of a bad thing that quiet holds you in confidence it's not like some trivial like oh nothing like she's she's done nothing don't worry about her so the fact that Whitney is trying to rebrand her messiness in this way is classic whitney and um you know i mean should we be mad this is what whitney does this is just her role on the show she just is like a messy messy person and then never understands why people get mad at

33:33Ronnie Karam: her the thing that i think gets frustrating as you watch the seasons as the seasons pass is that she is so good at the manipulating part where she does it she starts it and then she just keeps saying, yeah, but then that's why Meredith, blah, blah. Or she'll just keep turning it on the other person. And it works every time. Like by the end, people are like, yeah, Meredith. And she's like, what? How did this turn on me? Yeah. She's, when you watch it from the audience's chair, you're like, this is so ham-handed. She's so bad at this. But she apparently is really good at it because it works every single time.

34:13Ronnie Karam: It works every time. So at this point, I just give Whitney Rose credit. You know, I don't even get mad anymore. I'm like, are the rest of you this idiotic that you can't see what Whitney's doing? And if not, then you deserve what you're getting, you know?

34:25Ben Mandelker: Yeah. So then Brittany is saying, well, everyone, I'm trying to tread lightly because Bronwyn and I are in a good place. And I don't want to be like, you know, talking shit. But I do feel like stuff isn't adding up. Things are supposed to be hunky-dory with this divorce. But then last at the table, she says, I'm drinking so much because I live in constant stress and anxiety. I don't understand. so Bronwyn's gonna try to poke holes not Bronwyn I mean Brittany's gonna try to poke holes in Bronwyn's divorce because she's just she's playing the long game she wants revenge from last year she's had two seasons of being bottom of the barrel with this cast and she sees a way that she can climb the ladder yes

35:06Ronnie Karam: and Heather's like wait a minute so let's talk about what's going on so you're at the Capitol Grill with him wait so sorry heather's like well they were seen together at the capitol grill basically and britney's like what what bronwyn and todd were at the capitol grill i told you things aren't adding up she is lying about todd she's supposed to be a democrat but she went to the

35:33Ben Mandelker: capitol to go to a grill no no britney just just just listen to the story heather's like well

35:40Ronnie Karam: Todd and Bronwyn were at Capitol Grill on Saturday night. And she said she was there to sign the papers that's selling the house because they sold the house. And Brittany's like, wait a minute. No, I'm so glad you brought this up because I've got my real estate app open. She, that house was owned by an LLC. Like I saw the deed because I'm in real estate. And when people were talking about it, I just naturally looked it up and pulled the report. it and Heather's like oh naturally I just completely investigated it

36:14Ben Mandelker: and she's like it's Todd's LLC so when she says that we sold the house Todd sold the house I saw the actual deed there was only one signature and it was Todd's it's kind of like you're being you're being quite a literalist about this like we stuff I mean like it's in Todd's name but it's like it was their house I mean they're married this is not going to work out well for you Brittany you're going to get demolished when you finally confront Bronwyn with this

36:43Ronnie Karam: yeah Brittany really is a ding dong this is her thing she's like I'm going to come to the season and I'm going to prove that Bronwyn's home was owned by an LLC ooh so the producer's like why are you digging this up and she's like well as much as I like Bronwyn we all fact check each other but also for once i just want some respect and i want to be right about something so i took it upon myself because i'm the one who knows about real estate i'm just so proud of my

37:16Ben Mandelker: detective work i feel like britney is like that is like the aaron brockovich's lawyer just like some low-end lawyer operating out of a trailer or something and it's like i think i finally found my case oh i guess that was that was that tom that's not tom girardi killed it no but you remember in the movie it's like she had to go to some local yokel lawyer right albert finney wasn't albert finney she had to like go and and like yeah because she couldn't go to any major law firm so she had to go to some local yokel and he's just like some whatever but then this winds up being the case of his lifetime and britney's like i found the case of my lifetime this is it i've had two years of people not trusting me being on the bottom of the totem pole but i'm gonna be right about something and i found it i found what i'm gonna be right about which is that Bronwyn didn't own the house that she claimed that she sold.

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40:38Ben Mandelker: um so she's uh she's really she's like i'm proud of my detective work i have to say i'm like wow your detective work of looking up a deed and seeing that todd's name was on it Hello? A public record search.

40:56Ronnie Karam: Wow. Well, Todd signed as a manager, but that doesn't definitely look like Bronwyn has anything to do with it. Here's the deed, guys. Here it is. There's the signature. No Bronwyn. There is no Bronwyn. And Heather's like, yeah, Brittany's no detective. She's Inspector Gadget at best. How dare you? Calling Inspector Gadget not a real detective.

41:19Ben Mandelker: Oh, I'm sorry. Is it me or does Inspector Gadget have like a 100 % gets it done? Okay.

41:26Ronnie Karam: He does. He can solve. He can be on the first floor and solve a crime on the tattoos. That he's me. Yeah. And that will bounce him. I mean.

41:36Ben Mandelker: You only wish you could have a propeller come out of your head so you can fly somewhere swiftly. Or how about this? Good luck driving through that Salt Lake City traffic with your car that doesn't have wheels on giant legs that can go over other cars. Idiot.

41:52Ronnie Karam: Seriously. She's like, Heather, is like, just because Bronwyn's name isn't on the D doesn't mean he's not part of the LLC. I mean, I own a home. It's in an LLC. I own a business. That's in an LLC. My name is not on anything. So, I mean, what's the big deal? Of course, she's not saying this to Brittany. To Brittany, she's just like, this is fascinating detective work, Brittany.

42:22Ben Mandelker: So then Brittany now expands her theory. She's like, but then she also says, I bought Gwen a house and I might live there. So you bought Gwen a house, but you didn't buy yourself a house or an apartment or anything? Is this part of our divorce settlement? And if so, she's trying to cover it up by being like, oh, I bought a house for Gwen to make it look like it's my, and Heather goes, oh, so it's really the house that she's getting from the divorce and she's moving Gwen and Muzzy into it as a cover. I'm like, so here is the accusation that Bronwyn is receiving a house from the divorce, but she's acting like she's buying the house for her daughter and her mom.

43:06I guess,

43:07Ronnie Karam: Like Bronwyn's trying to look like a good person. Like, oh, I'm doing all of this. But really, she's getting it from her divorce, which still doesn't make her a bad person. It's weird to be standing up for Bronwyn in such a way because Bronwyn has been known to lie, as we see in a montage coming up. But like, who cares? I don't understand what the big deal is because she deserves money from her divorce. She was married to somebody. So, of course, she would get money from the divorce. I just don't see why that's bad. or buying your daughter a house. I don't understand why any of this is bad. What's happening?

43:40Ben Mandelker: Well, you know what the argument's going to be? You know what? The conversation's going to be later on in a future episode. Bronwyn will be talking. Her upper lip will be curled up over her teeth because she's really mad. She doesn't. She's mad. And she goes, I never said I bought it. I said I got a house. I said I got a house. I never said I paid money for it. I said I got a house and I gave it to them and you're a real fucking piece of shit for trying to weaponize my daughter and my mother having a house during the worst, the lowest part of my life while you're sitting here singing songs to an Osmond and I'm just trying to find a roof for my children so that way all our bobs can be dry at night.

44:13Ben Mandelker: Thanks a lot. You know what? I don't want to fucking hear about it anymore and then just can get up and storm away from the table. I guarantee that's going to be the scene.

44:19Ronnie Karam: You're trying to make me look like a bad person for buying a place to shelter our bobs? How dare you? How dare you, Raymond?

44:28Ben Mandelker: That's what it's going to be. It's going to be an argument about I never said bought, I said got. I guarantee I'm putting no money on that. But if I decided to put money on it, I'd be putting money on it. But I'm putting no money on it. But I think it's really going to happen.

44:40Ronnie Karam: And she'll be right. I mean, this is such a bizarre thing to come for her for. So Whitney's like, yeah, I love Bronwyn, but this is messy. And she gets that little twinkle in her eye. Like, ooh, now they're going to go after somebody for nothing, which they love on this show. They do love it. So now they find out what they're doing for Bronwyn's day out. Everybody meets in the lobby, and Bronwyn's like, girls, okay, some of you are going to just meet somebody so special to me, you're going to have the most special experience. The rest of you are doing something curated. Let's just say it's curated.

45:19Ben Mandelker: Yeah, so they break up into groups, and Angie's like, first my morning breakdown, and now just to add insult to injury, I'll be spending the morning with Meredith, who I'm not the closest with, And then you throw in Kwai after Toothbrush Gate and is like, I just got handed a shit sandwich. So, yeah.

45:39Ronnie Karam: So now we go to Bronwyn's group and Bronwyn's like, oh, they're going to get the best experience. And Heather's like, I don't know what their experience is going to be, but she hates them. So it's probably going to suck. I mean, maybe she'll send them on like a mini Iron Man to have to bike the Golden Gate Bridge and up Lombard Street and then swim to Alcatraz in the Sharfield waters.

46:07Ben Mandelker: I mean, honestly, just put up like a test pattern signal. You guys don't have enough content to fill out the episode. Just put up some color bars and like play like a high pitch beep for like a good 25 seconds. That would probably be better than this. so then Angie's group is on their way and Meredith's like does anyone have any idea what this could be do you think I will be able to procure a bib for my toddler there and Angie's like no but Bronwyn seemed really excited about it and she's a great hostess and Lisa's like I'm a great hostess

46:43Ronnie Karam: I am yeah I'm a great hostess I don't know if I've seen great hosting from Bronwyn

46:49Ben Mandelker: We are all great hostesses, but she goes big, right?

46:54Ronnie Karam: Okay, really? Because last time we went to Palm Springs, and that was a Bronwyn trip. There was no food in the house. She flew us back coach. People tried to get me to, like, dress in costumes. Not use glam. Not use glam.

47:09Ben Mandelker: I had to fly on 17th Sea. 17th Sea. Okay, so they arrive at this place called Good Vibrations, and it's an antique vibrator museum. And Angie tells us, we just got fucked. See what I did there. Greek comedy.

47:25Ronnie Karam: Well, I get enough action, but I'm happy to like scroll through to be inspired. If she thinks this is going to upset me, it won't. Just watch as I try not to have a fit this entire time in a vibrator store.

47:37Ben Mandelker: Yeah. And then Bronwyn's group is like, so everyone, can I tell you where they're going? They're going to the vintage vibrator museum. And if they don't have a good time, They can literally go fuck themselves. I stole that one from Terry Dubrow. So then Bronwyn is, yeah, she's like, she's like, everyone's gonna be very satisfied at the end of the day. You get nothing for nothing.

48:03Ronnie Karam: And Heather's like, what's a vintage vibrator? A cucumber? That would actually be too good. I cannot believe what some of these vintage vibrators are. A cucumber would have been perfect. And it's there. It's just there. You can get it. It's available at your local HEB or whatever. I mean, I don't know if they had that back in the day. I'm assuming cucumbers were always around. Or something. These things aren't even shaped like penises. They're shaped like flat irons and blow dryers.

48:40Ben Mandelker: I didn't understand it. It was crazy. It was like pepper mills. So they're like the women are there and you can see they're like, oh, okay. Like none of them are excited partially because some of them don't really care about this. And Lisa is like, oh, I see. She just wants us to feel uncomfortable. But also because it's kind of like a big boring museum. It's like one room with a bunch of vibrators and cases. There's like nothing to do. Like they're bored out of their minds. And I'm actually bored watching them as well. Like I'm like, really? like you have your whole day in san francisco and you're just in this stuffy small room and then this lady comes out the the curator of the museum and she's like hi oh my god welcome to the wide world of vibrators and they're like hi she is real this lady who works there is intense

49:38Ronnie Karam: she's like wow vibrators they go back two thousand years like whoa whoa whoa relax just relax okay we can't get away from you she's really intense and also this is just a joke at their expense that it's like okay ha ha ha so now we have to sit here like for this four-hour shoot and be good natured and it's just not really that funny which is why i'm saying this they shouldn't have Bronwyn-centric. Yeah. Because Bronwyn's like, uh-huh, isn't that hilarious? Oh.

50:08Ben Mandelker: Yeah, and she's like, these go back to 2 ,000 years to the father of Greek medicine. You're welcome. You are welcome. And she's like, yes, because women in Greece had hysteria, mass hysteria, and vibrators solved it. That is right. Greek science at work.

50:27Ronnie Karam: Yeah, I didn't know this, that that's where vibrators came from. That the men were like, women are suffering from hysteria and the only way to solve it is by giving them, you know, what did they call it? Like a pokeage of the upper edge in the aginovage that, you know,

50:46Ben Mandelker: Yeah, it was a very formal, it was a very formal, like, it was a formal, not declaration, it was a formal title of

50:56Ronnie Karam: It was a declaration?

50:57Ben Mandelker: For orgasm. A declaration.

51:00Ronnie Karam: They're like, you know what would solve everything with women's hysteria? Dicks. Just find some dicks. And so we start seeing all of these different things. One of them looks like a hand sander. Not a hand sander, but like a hand saw. You know, an electric hand saw. It's disturbing. It looked like a saw movie. It was really intense.

51:20Ben Mandelker: And the women are all kind of like, I can't imagine using any of these. So then we go back to Bronwyn's group. And we meet John. who's a stylist. So this is where Bronwyn's like, you guys are about to meet someone very close to me. And so she really is building it up. And maybe John is a celebrity in the world of styling. I didn't know who he was. I really thought it was gonna be Christian Siriano. But instead of just, it was just this guy, John. And she's saying how he's like, this is an unbelievable stylist. And I've been buying vintage pieces from since forever. Yep. And he's like, oh yeah, Bronwyn, she was spicy.

51:57Ben Mandelker: and she was very of the moment i met her in her dolce and gabbana flower feathered jacket and

52:03Ronnie Karam: tight pants and those were fun times yeah and so bronwyn bronwyn does a monologue about how san francisco was when she became a fashion girly with this guy and um she's like you know britney you could use some styling help for me or what do you know nobody needs styling help from you Like it works for you. It's fun for you, but no, nobody needs this. Like she's saying this as she's wearing a dress with a gigantic bow. It doesn't look like it fits her. And her hands are under the bow, kind of shaking the bow as she talks. Like, no, no, nobody needs this. But it's worth it. Don't spread it.

52:42Ben Mandelker: It's worth it because they put Brittany in this big red fur coat. And when they tell her that it belonged to Lenny Kravitz, she gets like these stars in her eyes. Brittany's like, I'm basically friends with Lenny Kravitz now. Isn't that amazing? this is so exciting

52:55Ronnie Karam: and she puts on a big flowered hat and Whitney's like that looks like the pigeon lady from Home Alone

53:04Ben Mandelker: and it does look, it is wild and she has this like, she has the fur on with this big flower hat and then she's like looking herself in the mirror and she kind of becomes enchanted with her own reflection and she's like oh hi, I am a star I am known as Lenny Kravitz's mistress, wow this is exciting Hello, pretty lady.

53:24Ronnie Karam: Do you have a real estate app? Yeah. Then we go to Angie's group learning about the hand crank vibrators. And Lisa's like, oh, my God. It looks like we're getting great chase. What are these?

53:37Ben Mandelker: And just like, you're like, tonight we're grabbing the pasta maker. John will be right back. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. I think if Lisa had lived back in this generation, she would be a whole do a whole lot more cooking for John. Because it looks like a cooking tool. but it's a vibrator see what the joke is there the tour guide lady's like so do any of you have

53:59Ronnie Karam: vibes of your own tell me about your own vibrators let's go around in a circle and um and quiet is like um oh i just have one that my husband can control yeah yeah and the tour guide's

54:13Ben Mandelker: like wow that's exciting are there any laws restricting vibrators in utah is it true you can only have cold vibrators, not hot ones.

54:24Ronnie Karam: And Kawhi's like, well, within the Mormon community, I mean, you're being a little watched. You're being a little watched. Yeah, behind closed doors, though, they're probably like the naughtiest. I mean, Brigham Young was keeping him happy somehow. He had a lot of people to please.

54:41Ben Mandelker: And now

54:44Ronnie Karam: anybody who's looked into Brigham Young history.

54:49Ben Mandelker: Hey everyone, this is the end of part one of this recap. For part two, keep an eye on your podcast feed. It is coming up in just a moment. Thanks so much for listening. Catch you on the second half. Watch what Crappens would like to thank its premium sponsors. Ain't no thing like Alison King. Our way is the Amber way. It's the Foster and the Furious. It's Amanda Foster. It's Always Automatic with Ashley Otto. Put your hands together for Carly Clapp. Get on the right foot with Chrissy Offutt.

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