#3572 RHOC S20E14: Tokyo Miffed

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1:54Watch what happens when there's so much that happens.

2:01Ben Mandelker: That's so funny. Watch what happens when there's so much that happens.

2:11Ronnie Karam: Well, hello and welcome to Watch What Crappens, a podcast for all that crap we love to talk about on Yale Brubs. I'm Ronnie and that's Ben over there. How are you, Ben?

2:22Ben Mandelker: I am great, thank you. How are you, my sweet Rondola?

2:27Ronnie Karam: Good. Everybody, welcome to the show today. Thanks to Jeff Lewis and all of those guys for having us on Sirius this morning to promote the Watch What Crappens in the Mix tour. Coming soon to a city near you. We are back on the road. Go get your tickets. This year, we are going to be, or just, I mean, before the end of the new year. like 2026. We're going to be in Minneapolis, Detroit, Philadelphia, Washington, Dallas, Austin, and Houston, Nashville, Clearwater, Fort Lauderdale. And then right in the new year, we'll be in San Fran, Salt Lake, Denver, Charleston, Atlanta, Seattle, Vancouver, Portland, Toronto, Boston.

3:11Ronnie Karam: And we end with the golden crappies on Broadway, New York City, February 25th. Go get your tickets at watchwhatcrappens.com. And we look forward to seeing you at the end of the week. Next week, Minneapolis and Detroit. I'm excited. Yeah. That's going to be great. It'll be fun times. It's always been so fun. How are you feeling today about The Real Housewives of Orange County?

3:40Ben Mandelker: Well, you know, the vacation is happening. and um you know it's one of those things where as a viewer i don't think the show is terribly exciting these days i think as a recapper though it's very fun for us because almost like the more dull the episode is the more fun that we have so i'm a little bit of a split split mindset what

4:02Ronnie Karam: about you it's a lot of um people divorcing lately just on the bravo it's a lot of a lot of divorce It's like every night it talks about divorce. To which I say, good for you. Go do it. If you're thinking about it, do it. It's like the newest trend. Everybody do it.

4:24Ben Mandelker: Wife Swap has not got a very good track record. I mean, I think we've got Angie and Sean are already breaking up. Shane and Emily seem like they're on the verge of breaking up. I mean, Melissa and Joe are fine. And then who is our, oh, and then it's like Eddie and Wendy. who knows about them i think that's all going to depend on the sentencing but um yeah it's not great but i have to say watching the deterioration deterioration of emily and shane um really couldn't care less i really like it's i don't i don't know it's like you guys he proposed you

4:59Ronnie Karam: over gchat so what are you expecting true and also it's already been deteriorated it's like getting mad that cheese is not milk like but i knew this as cheese so why would i get mad that it's not milk anymore you were already deteriorated so yeah i mean i guess it's sad that you're sad i guess i'm sad that you're sad but f i mean ff yeah the light went on your gas light went on a

5:26Ben Mandelker: long time ago and now you're shocked that your car stalled out on the side of the road and now we have to sit and wait for the tow truck with you i'm like i'm i'm calling an uber i'm out of Yeah.

5:37Ronnie Karam: So here we are with season 12, episode 14 of Friends and Fortunes. And I know that we're all probably pretty worried about what this cast in particular is going to do in Tokyo. Because there's a very high chance it's going to be problematic. Yeah. So good luck to us as an audience.

5:59Ben Mandelker: But the good news is that we start still in Orange County and we're still at the Vena party. where a huge, huge crime has happened, which is that Alexis Bellino gave Heather a look, and Heather didn't like it. And now they're hashing it out.

6:16Ronnie Karam: Yes. And Alexis keeps threatening to leave, but still is just standing there on the curb with Joe. And Heather comes out, and she's like, Alexis, you are just trying to create something that's not there. It's not there. It's like Park Overall's career. It's gone.

6:36Ben Mandelker: gone you by the way just want to say empty nest premiered yesterday um in 19 like yesterday was the like the 38 year anniversary of empty nest wow premiering on nbc i'm saying that because it showed up on my twitter because the algorithm listens also yesterday was sigorny weaver's birthday and we didn't even celebrate it so like we're really failing as a podcast but you mentioning park overall i just want you to know that we are yeah like this is an empty nest yes it was an Empty Nuts Milestone Day. So just putting that out there.

7:06Ronnie Karam: And also yesterday, which is crazy that it was her birthday because yesterday was International Lesbian Day. Get out. Yes, which I did not know. So happy day, a day late, but happy day late to all the international lesbians out there.

7:23Ben Mandelker: Absolutely.

7:24Ronnie Karam: American lesbians, you can wait. Get in line.

7:28Ben Mandelker: Well, I hope that there was someone fabulous who had a birthday today. I will scan, But it's going to be hard to beat Sigourney Weaver from yesterday. She's a real major birthday for us.

7:40Ronnie Karam: Yeah, my lesbian friend, well, one of them, my lesbian friend, one of them, Brandy, she was in the city, in New York City, that is, yesterday. And it was International Lesbian Day. And she saw Jodie Foster in the village. So I think that that is a pretty good sign that you are on the right lesbionic track when you see Jodie Foster. Jodie, mother effing Foster.

8:06Ben Mandelker: Seriously. Well, Ronnie, your fellow countryman, Tony Shalhoub, it's his birthday today.

8:13Ronnie Karam: Oh, happy birthday. And Scott Bakula. Happy birthday, you wonderful Lebanese man, and you hot guy.

8:23Ben Mandelker: Yeah, there's not any really great ones today. It's like Sharon Osbourne, PJ Harvey.

8:30Ronnie Karam: Tony Shalhoub just hit his steering wheel You just took Tony Shalhoub from Jubilation to misery

8:36Ben Mandelker: Yeah, I'm sorry, I'm looking through here I'm just really not seeing anyone Really great Oh, you know whose birthday it is today? And I am so mad that he is not here I am so happy that he's not here to see it It's Juan Dixon's birthday today, everyone Happy birthday, Juan Dixon What a way to promote the new season of Potomac Coming up oh what a day wow we really what a time what a time really fall far from sigourney weaver sigourney weaver to wandix yeah we really did we just dove off the cliff after sigourney

9:10Ronnie Karam: so heather is um confronting alexis and alexis is like no i'm not heather i'm not trying to start something that's not there and i genuinely want to leave heather don't come attack me do not even

9:23Ben Mandelker: either do not even i did not attack you and i was like yeah i don't think she's attacking you bitch although she may have tried to kick your shit go after her go after her nexus it's like you gave me a look and as we all know unless you reach a certain tax bracket you must avert your

9:43Ronnie Karam: eyes for me oh are you that insecure that you think me little pee on me would give you a look Oh, Alexis, you're not just a peon. You're a washed up lady with John Janssen. Have some pride.

10:01Ben Mandelker: Yeah. Heather's like, it's not about being insecure. Okay. If I cared about people being insecure, I would call up Wendy Malick. It's about understanding how you operate. Yeah.

10:18Ronnie Karam: Instead of talking to me, she went on Tamara's podcast and then pieces got picked up by People magazine, which I did not appreciate. I did not like that.

10:28Ben Mandelker: I am very secure. Does an insecure person combine six different penthouses into a mega penthouse and then five different floors of a building into a mega basement that your children can live in? I don't think so. But if you want to come into my world and give me a look, well, then we're going to have an issue.

10:46Ronnie Karam: oh yeah well you're the operations queen not me okay not me heather you know what i'm good i'm

10:57Ben Mandelker: good i'm good don't worry about me i'm good so then heather walks away she's like over and everything and alexis is like yeah yep yeah okay okay bye bye i am leaving i am leaving as soon as I stop start moving my feet I'll be leaving I'm leaving everyone do I even look insecure to you

11:21Ronnie Karam: audience hmm me rich Heather Dubrow I'm done listening to her I don't give a feck what she has to say about me get it get it groundlings trained because she called me factless you see

11:36Ben Mandelker: that is the game there okay okay quickly um i have a red ball now you have a red ball now i have a red ball now you have a red ball that's called an improv game and then she goes shuffling over to

11:48Ronnie Karam: the other ladies and she's so happy to like get to go to the ladies with her own drama because it's been yeah it's been a pretty dry couple of seasons for heather so she goes like happily shuffling up She's like, oh, get this. That didn't go well.

12:04Ben Mandelker: What happened?

12:07Ronnie Karam: Tamara told Alexis that I said she gave me a look. And then Tamara told me she went bonkers and left. Oh, shocker. Whoa, shocker.

12:20Ben Mandelker: Wait, it gets better. Unlike Wendy Malick's acting, it gets better. Tamara and I went out to find out what the story was. and Alexis is crying. She's like, I didn't give you a look. You're so insecure. Am I right? Is this not hilarious, everyone?

12:39Ronnie Karam: And then she said, well, I just don't need it. And then I went, you know what? I'm good. Goodbye. And then I said, I don't give a feck, which was an offshoot of feckless because that's how comedy works.

12:57Ben Mandelker: And Jen's like, oh, is Tamra still out there with her? I don't know. I left. I peaced out. I was like, I'm Audi 5000. I was like, this party is on fleek. I got to get back in. So here I am.

13:12Ronnie Karam: Meanwhile, Alexis is still out front. Are the Ubers just taking time to get here? Why are you still here, miss? I want to leave and I can't take this. She's so the thirst of Alexis.

13:24Ben Mandelker: God bless her. The thirst of John Jansen, who's like smiling, but he keeps on looking into the party. Like, I want to go in. I want to go in. I want to be on TV. I want to be on TV. I hate. I need my privacy. I want to be on TV. I want to be on TV.

13:36Ronnie Karam: Yeah. And Alexis is like, yeah, well, you know what? I took her to task. I took her to task. That's right. That's what just happened. In case anybody missed it. I took her to task. And Joe just goes, took the task? I don't know what that means. Could you make it smaller? Just a smaller phrase? Trying to keep up here. It's a little hard for me.

13:57Ben Mandelker: Tamara's like, I don't know what you're doing, Alexis. This is my party. Just no crying at my party unless it's me. And everybody needs to get along. Go kiss Shannon. Go shake Heather's hand. I don't care what you have to do.

14:08Ronnie Karam: Just do it, bitch. You can't be. I'm trying to get you back on TV to come for Shannon Bedoya. Come on. Come back in. It's going to be so fun. Alexis comes back in. And Vicky says hello to her. and she's like, oh, look at you, Alexis. Wow, I haven't seen you since you got married. See that man who wants to stop staring into the camera. Stop staring into the cameras. Stop it. John's just like, hey.

14:36Ben Mandelker: Yeah, he's like, hey, I'm back, everyone. Oh, wow. It's nice to see that Vicky's being so, oh, look, she's all, oh, I'm so friendly. Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho. I'm friendly Vicky Gunvalson just greeting Alexis, my rival, warmly. Just, I love that.

14:51Ronnie Karam: i feel so supported right now hey girls it's me emily who loves food i'm holding a whole bowl of

14:59Ben Mandelker: cheetos right now i'm relatable when i go to a fancy party i roll my eyes and find the cheetos because fancy food sucks why does emily always act like she's in like a like a like a weekday afternoon commercial for like sunny d or something like that like i don't want any of that stuffy adult food give me the sunny d like she always every time she's in a formal environment she's so she's literally acts like a kid in those commercials you know where they always like you know they always like pie the adult or something and the kid's like yeah man fruit

15:34Ronnie Karam: roll-ups yeah something like that preservatives get us some preservatives to get out of here boomer she's like well i've got it's like look everybody i've got a giant bowl of cheetos Does anybody have a larger purse I could borrow so I can carry these around with me? I need a personality for the rest of the season. I love how we're eating cheetahs.

16:01Ben Mandelker: So then Joe is like, listen, Alexis, it would be nice if you and Heather had a moment. Why don't you guys just talk? Go and talk to her. So then Joe brings Alexis to the table. And now Alexis has a whole, like Shannon immediately peaces out, just goes over to talk to Teddy. and Alexis now has a totally different demeanor and she's like okay so you know Heather yeah let's have a talk let's have you know I think we need to have a talk I think we got off the wrong phone let's have a talk and she's like suddenly being like friendly as if they didn't just get into a whole fight

16:30Ronnie Karam: oh really I don't need drama Alexis I'm good I'm good Alexis well I think it's a thing because we do have other beef Heather well you have beef with me I don't have beef with you you were annoyed because I told Shannon that John heard the crash there I said it.

16:47Ben Mandelker: And then Alexis immediately reverts back to being the monster. And she's like, you disclose information that's not for Heather Dubrow to disclose. Okay? There's the rainbow, Heather Dubrow. Got it.

17:05Ronnie Karam: I'm not negating that I disclosed this. And now is not the time to adjudicate. I told Shannon Bidor. And I told you, by the way, also. She's like, thank you. Oh, thank you for getting that camera. Heather is confessing to telling her in the first place camera. Oh, Alexis, listen, if someone is going through has been through a horrible breakup and then that guy is threatening to take video footage of her drunk driving. Yeah, it's Heather's place as a friend to tell that person, you dumbass.

17:38Ben Mandelker: And I love that Alexis feels like they just caught something on tape. Like, wow. Wow. Major confession. Do you see that? She just confessed to telling Shannon. And then they're like, okay, well, we've got one for you, bitch. And then just show footage of her telling Shannon. Like, we've known all along. You think you found like this amazing hot mic moment?

17:59Ronnie Karam: well honestly even if john and alexis had not had not said anything which uh you know i would have told shannon and there if you can tell people magazine i think that shannon should know

18:13Ben Mandelker: heather there's no reason to share she's like alexis you gotta you gotta be quiet you've got to be it was never yours to share heather you can't share what's over there see that was a good rhyme right it was a good rhyme i should be back on the show hey there can't share what's over there do brow head there i don't care about the weather heather you went really low heather do

18:41Ronnie Karam: bro oh really okay okay nursery run stop just stop with this also heather's got a huge issue with people magazine right now because it's like the second time she's like oh they went to people magazine and if you can go to people magazine i like to talk to people magazine she really is not into people magazine they fucked her well she's she just did this whole thing of like i just

19:06Ben Mandelker: discovered that i'm smart so now she probably wants to be in a smarter publication she's like don't put me in people magazine with their very simplistic crossword puzzles i demand the atlantic

19:17Ronnie Karam: i said feckless i should i've repeated feckless over i made a feck joke get me the new yorker

19:23Ben Mandelker: that's my point so alexis is just she's in her relentless mode and heather's like stop talking stop talking well if you give me that give if you gave me that you know you don't don't share you went low heather to bro you went low heather to bro ah so then heather does this thing where she puts up her hand she goes ah you know what you have to be quiet you have to be quiet you have to be you know what you know what i'm done i'm done so then uh carmella and shannon are watching and carmala's like she's so loud and obnoxious i mean alexis comes across as very dramatic i don't know what her deal is did she bring the husband and they're like you mean john oh and was he sticking up for her like what was he doing was he hitting on shannon maybe he was hitting on i feel like she's trying to like be shady it just was not landing for me yeah you

20:16Ronnie Karam: No, it's just Carmela. Bless her. Bless her. I would say like, well, at least she's trying. But if she. So then we go to Heather and Alexis still fighting. Heather's like, no one cares, Alexis. So then why? I don't know why you're here. I don't know why you're here. How many times do you need to walk out? Walk out. Just walk out. Walk out all the way to the Uber and get inside of it and drive away. This was a fail. And that's what she does. She walks away.

20:43Ben Mandelker: All right. Well, you're the one walking away. and I'm willing to litigate it with you, which is a word I can now use because I'm officially smart. And I feel good about that. I think we accomplished a lot here.

20:57Ronnie Karam: So Teddy's like, well, Alexis, I don't think you should leave. Hi, I'm Teddy. And Alexis is like, she's delusional though. Well, I wouldn't call Heather delusional. Okay, okay. Well, that's fine. You wouldn't call her delusional, but I did, Emily, okay? I think Heather argues pretty well, actually.

21:14Ben Mandelker: not only does she argue she litigates look i stood up for heather a little bit which means i'm now exonerated for treating her like shit all season so then heather heather comes sauntering back over and she goes i mean i tried it's like well i don't think heather's delusional i think she's very well aware of everything she says and does i think probably more so than the average person hey are you calling me average why did you call me average heather so teddy is saying

21:44Ronnie Karam: bye to alexis and alexis is like well i do want to hug from you though teddy and teddy goes okay well hi i'm still teddy um look alexis this time i think that when you leave you shouldn't leave and come back again it's awkward and i'm teddy and then shannon goes but she wants a storyline

22:02Ben Mandelker: maybe she says shannon says this and then immediately hides behind someone she's like Oh, that was a bit bold for me. I'm just going to hide back here.

22:10Ronnie Karam: Oh, really, Shannon Bedore? Well, if I wanted a storyline, then I would have said yes then. Well, none of that makes sense. Keep my name out of your mouth, Alexis Smellino. P-U.

22:25Ben Mandelker: There's the door. Alexis Bellino. Oh, that doesn't, it doesn't work. Okay. Well, I guess I, now I see why David left me. So, Alexis.

22:33Ronnie Karam: Walk out of the door made of pecorino. Alexis Bellino there

22:38Ben Mandelker: by the way would anyone be opposed if I just took a little chip of that door it just sounds delicious so Jen is like well she does not seem very popular at this party look at her everyone seems to hate her and Tamara then like goes like hey are you okay I hope you didn't get humiliated at my party she's like no I'm going I love you I love you so much you know I try with Heather it's a lost cause like did you try

23:01Ronnie Karam: I don't want you to be feeling bad okay everybody Ready, gather around Alexis. We're going to play pin the tail on the donkey. Alexis is the donkey. Alexis don't go.

23:15Ben Mandelker: You guys, I know you probably don't believe it, America, but Alexis has a huge heart. If Shannon was in trouble right now, Alexis would go help her. Trust me, that's how sweet Alexis is. But sometimes in a situation like this, I can't even make excuses for her, bitch.

23:32Ronnie Karam: So Shannon goes and tattletales to Heather. Well, that lady whose name I will not mention said Heather is delusional. And by the way, in case you didn't understand what I was saying, that was Alexis Bellino. Alexis Bellino said that about you.

23:47Ben Mandelker: Emily, she called me delusional. And what did you say? I said she's not delusional. Ah, high five, sister friend. Thank you. You get a bonus this year.

24:00Ronnie Karam: So Joe comes up to Gina and she's like, hey, I just wanted to tell you. I'm on 60 days of no alcohol, and, like, you're my inspiration. Oh, my God. Your shoulders are going to start growing soon. I don't know what that— Shoulder pads. You'll get it. Only sober people get it.

24:19Ben Mandelker: I feel bad that you're not drinking anymore, but I feel happy that I was your inspiration. So then Alexis goes up to Jen, and she gives Jen a big hug, and she's like, I'm so happy that you and Tamara are finally friends again. And she's like, oh, are you leaving right now? She's like, yeah, we're out. We're out. We got to go. And Jen's like, oh, I mean, I didn't even know where I stood with Alexis. But you know what? I couldn't sit here and say anything bad about her. How about the fact that she disinvited you from her wedding because of some bullshit? Remember on all the other things that you could say something bad?

24:52Ben Mandelker: She gave you one hug and everything's negated? What?

24:55Ronnie Karam: Yeah. Well, you know, Jen doesn't remember things, really. So then Alexis leaves and Jen's talking to Carmela. And Carmella's like, oh, this is my Tokyo hair. Oh, my God. Are you going to come to Tokyo? That's amazing. Of course she's coming. It's the cast trip. No newbie would miss their first cast trip on purpose.

25:17Ben Mandelker: And Carmella goes, I'm 99.8 % sure I'm coming, which, as we all know from anyone who's flaky in our lives, that means I'm absolutely not coming at all. I'm 100 % not coming. So even though I said I'm 99.8 % coming, that means there will be no me on the trip because we all know these people like hey i'm so excited for brunch tomorrow are you coming i'm gonna try to make it i am but i'm pretty sure i'm gonna be there like i'm like 98 99 sure i'll be there like unless something crazy happens the next day

25:48Ronnie Karam: there was a butterfly in my window i have to stay home yeah yeah that two percent that 0.02 percent is always gonna win out in the end always um so they're like no carmela you have to come come come really you gotta come and she's like well somebody punched a third a three-hole punch in my birth certificate so like i have an emergency passport so that was a thing i went to the passport office i got arrested for beating the shit out of somebody but that wasn't like you know 1987 so i don't even know if that counts against me anymore what was i saying about passports i don't know

26:23Ben Mandelker: yeah they're saying she has a lot of anxiety and uh with like travel uh she has a lot of phobia she's like afraid of like the plane she's afraid of this and that you know and she also says that she when she traveling with diabetes it's like the 16-hour time change it's really hard on her body but then it's also being far away from the kids and i just don't want to push myself to go so she has like a whole there's a lot of stuff that's wrapped up with travel for her which is totally understandable i will say if you um if you audition and volunteer for a job where there's like a mandatory trip involved like maybe consider think about these things ahead of time before you audition but you know hey you do you you do you i'd say it's a one season housewife not going on

27:06Ronnie Karam: the cast trip is a huge mistake i don't think anybody was like oh my god carmel is going to be a 10 season housewife at this point anyway so i feel like she's on the bubble i feel like this is

27:16Ben Mandelker: i think we probably are not going to see another season out of her you know i understand like if medically it's very very difficult um so i understand i just think that like it's like it's part of being a housewife and if it's not something that you feel like you'd be able to do. Maybe she thought she probably thought she was going to be able to do it and probably the anxiety snuck up on her. I'm not going to be a total dick about her or anything, but it's part of being a housewife is the trips. That's a big deal. It's a big part of the show. It's a big deal.

27:49Ronnie Karam: So then Eddie gets up and gives a speech and Tamara gives a speech and she's like, oh my god, that's Sissy Nelfina. You know, we built Sissy Huge into Streamy and Eddie, and we're not done, everybody. We're not done, so stay tuned for more edible marijuana. Yeah, everyone, get ready.

28:10Ben Mandelker: So to all the queen fries and clean curtains out there and Joe, whatever her last name is, cheers to you for being here for salsa. Ha!

28:22Ronnie Karam: So then she goes and talks with Terry and, oh, Shane's there. And so, oh, wow, you're just getting here now, Shane? He's like, yeah, I've got kids and I'm raising alone. I'm a single fucking father. What do you think I was going to be? God, why isn't there a giant bowl of Cheetos here? I really need some Cheetos. Oh, Emily put them in a large purse.

28:44Ben Mandelker: God damn it.

28:46Ronnie Karam: Damn, Emily.

28:47Ben Mandelker: well half so then terry is like ladies and ladies and gentlemen shane's here and he's like and half these people don't even know who i am geez well let the party begin so gina's like

29:01Ronnie Karam: hi shane come in i'll give you a hug he's like you're not even hugging me at home why are you gonna hug me here okay shane you know good god you know mr being a little miserable troll does not have to be your everything. You can do that 80 % of the time and then be somebody else 20 % of the time. You're at a party.

29:22Ben Mandelker: Also, this is like your wife's main gig. You became a stay-at-home dad so that way she could do these things. Don't agree to that and then make Emily's life hell. If you agree to be a stay-at-home dad, which is totally commendable and wonderful, if that's something that you agreed to do, then do it. I won't say don't complain because like it definitely goes the other way around where women are stay-at-home moms and the guys treat them like shit and i would never say to them oh don't complain you decided it's not that but it's kind of like she shoots the show for three months a year let her let her like she's at a like let her like do her scene like golly come on now let her live her cheeto

30:01Ronnie Karam: life i mean all of that said you know i think one job that you can always complain about day or night and i will always feel for you is the job of parenting anytime anybody's like this sucks i totally you can always come to me i get it not because i have kids but because i'm so horrified

30:22Ben Mandelker: by the thought i've i've never had kids but i've i've i've met them before and they're i have to say like across the board i would say probably like a 99 90 fail rate on being pleasant so i'm

30:37Ronnie Karam: I love kids. We're opposite in that way. Like, I love kids. I just don't ever, ever want them needing anything from me constantly, you know? That's right. Exactly. I like kids in the village. You know, it's like, oh, hey, hey, it's me, Uncle Ronnie up the street, crazy guy up the street, you know? Or like being an uncle. But, yeah, I don't need them around me. And so anybody who has them full time, I'm just like, wow, I get it. You can complain. You can complain here.

31:04Ben Mandelker: you complain about the kids but then but don't hold it against emily if like you guys clearly had a conversation of like hey while you're shooting the show i'll take care of the kids i mean i don't know i mean i guess i shouldn't be so black and white about it because he still deserves some respect and i don't i don't actually get the sense that emily gives him respect or like gives anything in return he's just there as like hired help it almost seems like so i know i'm sort of like going back in my words but i just don't i think it's just like shitty to like show up at a party late and then be like well i have kids as if you're like the first person in the world to ever have kids and then you're gonna like be obnoxious and be like embarrass your wife on camera like that i think that's what it just boils down to i just don't like it i'm trying

31:42Ronnie Karam: to find ways to be like well it's also the man it is a difference because it's a man you know and of course when the man stays home and takes care of the kids it's like every little thing it's like well i took care of the kid i did carpool it's like a list of every single thing it's you know like they don't hang on flipping out like when a man gets a cold you know it's like oh it's suddenly the worst thing to ever happen to anybody because we're men we whine you know we're drama queens yeah so yeah it's part like just shut up shane okay yeah i mean everyone else you're talking to here has raised kids you're not the only person i i believe he's

32:24Ben Mandelker: probably not feeling appreciated at home with that whole steak conversation from earlier in the season when emily's like i mean i made you a mistake once so i get it i get it that's crazy when you think he he's not appreciated at home i think his first line was i'm not appreciated

32:41Ronnie Karam: it's not it's not a subtle thing he is miserable and emily's miserable too and that's why it's always tricky getting into a conversation about emily and shane it's like going into the movie misery and then being shocked that miserable things happen so it's a mess it's called misery

32:55Ben Mandelker: I know. I just really don't like it when someone walks into a party and like their first announcement is like, like, I just don't like when people walk into a party and they're just downers. And they're like, well, I've got kids. I got kids. It's like, okay, just can you just like pretend to be like, like happy? And then you can like work into complaining about the kids later. I don't know. And so I'm just, yeah, I'm not into that.

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36:07Ronnie Karam: so then we go over to shannon's which of course is a scene that wrecks me because it's about her old dog and i have an old dog and i don't really like watching this stuff because it triggers me

36:16Ben Mandelker: so thanks a lot yeah it's um i thought this was going to be the i thought this episode was going to be like the the end of archie episode and this is just actually now they're they're setting it up but archie shannon talks about encountering archie and archie was having a seizure in the bathroom and it's like he had been a totally healthy fine dog and then all of a sudden this is happening and she was scared. And since we all know what happens with Archie, it's like very heartbreaking just to see him lying there. I know, it really is. It's really sad.

36:50Ronnie Karam: And she's feeding him a little carrot, you know, because he's kind of out of it. And, you know, if dogs could talk, he would be like, can we get a pizza?

37:02Ben Mandelker: I'm not here for a long time. I'm here for a good time. This is one day can I not have a fucking carrot? Is there a Tate's cookie around?

37:10Ronnie Karam: Yeah, so that's that. And then we go over to Jen and Emily going to the plastic surgeon for a little nippy-tucky-tucky-tuck. So Jen's like, hi, Emily, how are you? How are you? Thank you so much for coming here. Look at the receptionist. This is actually Ryan's daughter. And we meet Ryan. I don't know if we've met her before. I don't think we have.

37:32Ben Mandelker: I think maybe we have. We've heard about her. But she's there. And her name is Tyler. And she's like very Anne Hathaway-esque. She's like, you guys ready?

37:43Ronnie Karam: and be careful where you work especially where you're young because generally you get a huge discount or a lot of free things like when i started working at applebee's and the bowling alley snack bar i gained about 50 pounds and she is uh in a place where it gives you fake appendages and a lot of plastic things and you just need to be cautious as you go through there not to go too crazy on the samples. Yeah. You know what I mean? I could never work in a place like this. I would be injecting myself with every damn thing I passed. They're like, Ronnie, that is a fountain pen. It's like, I don't care.

38:19Ronnie Karam: Put it in my face.

38:22Ben Mandelker: Yeah. And I'm a little worried with this surgeon because later on when he was like, well, your face could look like this. And he takes their face and is like, oh yeah, this could look really good. Yeah. I could see. We could get that elasticity back. And they're pulling their faces all the way back like they're in the mid like really like going 90 miles per hour on a motorcycle um so uh so they uh they're gonna have a little concentrate john wants a consultation and um she's she talks about like the kids and everything and she is concerned because you can only do so much botox at a certain point it comes time to do the facelift you know it's time but before i mean before that happens you know i'm yeah good i was gonna say before that happens though she does speak about her anxiety is about marriage with ryan and the kids and like the kids gonna be a problem and what happens if they get married and then then he doesn't want he doesn't like the kids anymore is this gonna be an issue and da da da da you know yeah um so they're talking about all this

39:28Ronnie Karam: surgery stuff you know of course i was like how do i how much is this you know i was trying to add it up in my head but I'm also horrified just watching that whole thing of having someone coming in and tugging at you you know I've had that done and it is real and I don't know how people subject that themselves to that all the time um but they do and they're gonna go get some more stuff done it was funny when they got to Emily because Dr. Sadati's like okay your turn Emily so she sits down and he's like well he's trying to move her face but like nothing on there is moving because she's already had a bunch of stuff recently, I think.

40:05Ronnie Karam: And so there's no movement. And Jen's like, wow, isn't that incredible? Nothing on Emily's face moves. I can't even tell that she's living. Have you taken her pulse? Does she have a pulse? That is so commendable, Emily. That is so commendable. Do whatever you've done to me. Do whatever you've done to Emily to me, please. I want Ryan to be marrying a pet rock. That is what I want. I don't even want to be able to walk down the aisle. I just want a red wagon brought down the aisle with a little pet rock in the center to say, I do. I do.

40:37Ben Mandelker: It'll be like everything everywhere all at once. He's like, well, what if I pull your face like this and like Jen's eyeballs like on her forehead? She's like, I love that. That looks wonderful. It's just like yanking all that. What if we put your earlobe on the back of your head?

40:53Ronnie Karam: What would you think about that? What if we put your pinky on your knee? Let's get creative here. I'm sick of doing the same shit every day. All right.

41:01Ben Mandelker: Why not? Yeah. I never thought about it that way, but you know, it just seems like a great idea and I trust your vision. So yeah, I'd love to have my biggie on my knee. Yeah.

41:09Ronnie Karam: There's a new fad here. I don't know if you ladies have heard of it. Enlarging your middle toe. It's huge. Everybody's doing it. Let me just grab it to your middle toe. Well, Dr. Dottie is trying to really start a new trend here.

41:23Ben Mandelker: Yeah. So then they talk about the perils of a facelift because Emily's like, if you mess up your face, you're fucked. Like if you get a botched boob job, you can cover it and fix it later. But if your face is fucked up, I'm like, who are you telling? You're on Real Housewives of Orange County. We've been at this rodeo before.

41:45Ronnie Karam: Yeah, we've been to all of the surgeries. um so then um we go over to tamara's house and she's packing with sophia they're just making small talk about japan and tamara's like what do you think about this i got some booty shorts to wear to japan she's like mom those are like diapers i don't know about those okay i'll save them for vicky

42:11Ben Mandelker: what about stir up leggings she's like yeah and then we go to jen's house and she's like trying on some shoes and he's like i don't even know if i could wear those that's crazy and then emily emily's wearing like a skirt that has like piano keys on it but she has like a bow in her hair she looks kind of i don't know a little crazy i don't know if she's trying to do some sort of cool like japanese streetwear look but it was just crazy and annabelle gives her an even bigger than usual and shane's like i don't get it because you're a dude oh sorry annabelle because you're a dude and emily's like yeah he's an old dude that's why he's an old dude you're not

42:50Ronnie Karam: getting steak tonight that's for sure we are an old lady oh no i'm her old lady thank god so we go to heather's penthouse and uh you know she's packing it's packing it's packing montage and she's like well i'm a little worried about carmella but i texted her and i said how are you Did you get your passport? And then I used the trash emoji and then a laughing emoji and then the emoji for feckless, which is now in my vocabulary.

43:19Ben Mandelker: And she said, I'm feeling awful. My glucose is out of control. Oh, so she's got to bring syringes and insulin and other meds into Japan. Yes, but I'm sure diabetics can take syringes and things into Japan. She's like, thanks for checking. You're so thoughtful. And I said, of course I am. Not only am I a working actress, but I'm a sympathetic person. I'm actually one of the people. Wealthy, yes, but relatable. Thank you.

43:48Ronnie Karam: Everybody who needs sympathy, the person that they're not looking to is Heather Dubrow. I feel like Heather Dubrow wouldn't be a very sympathetic caretaker. It's like, hey, I'm having an attack of something. She'd be like, oh, that is terrible. All right, I'm going to make a TikTok of this, okay? I have a friend who's down. Doing her little elbow dances. I wouldn't feel safe.

44:14Ben Mandelker: Heather's really just like, Carmella, please confirm that you will be attending Japan because I need a buddy. I have no buddies. Please don't leave me hanging here. I'm the wealthiest one. I can show you a life of luxury and nobu. So please, come. We will arrange needles for you. So-so.

44:33Ronnie Karam: Okay, now we go over to LAX Private, the private suites. And they're making small talks. Gina's saying, oh, I have a whole clean ritual. I was like, okay, it's 12 hours. I'm going to do some self-care. Oh, really?

44:48Ben Mandelker: Like, what are you going to do? It's like, well, I got my face mask. I got my bonnet. I got my lip tape. You know, Jen's like, but what's 12 hours? Like, 12 hours where? To Japan. We're going to Japan? Yeah, I thought we were just going to Nobu. Heather keeps talking about it. No, we're going to Japan. Oh, is that in America? Okay, Jen, come on, keep up.

45:12Ronnie Karam: So the phone dings and we find out that Carmela is not going to be coming on the trip. And Jen's, I'm just so bummed. I'm just so bummed. You know, I mean, these are the most haunting moments. We've had such good times here. I mean, if it weren't for a trip, I never would have told Tamara she can go fuck herself for about 10 hours and stood up to her. I mean, these are the most bonding trips of all time.

45:35Ben Mandelker: Yeah, it's so bonding when we all get together and gang up on someone and maybe if we're really lucky, force them to run away and go back to America. So bonding.

45:44Ronnie Karam: Gosh, the girls really bond on these trips. I remember that trip we went into and Tamara quit the show and yelled and screamed and left and had to get her own Uber. God, that was fun.

45:53Ben Mandelker: It was like a warm hug. Yeah, it's like that. Remember that bonding time when we went to England and all the girls? revealed that they had hired a private investigator to look up Ryan. And then there was something about someone pushing someone down a staircase. Those were good times. Good times. So much bonding.

46:10Ronnie Karam: So Carmela FaceTimes. And she's like, I'm sorry, guys. I can't come. I'm just like too unhealthy right now to come.

46:18Ben Mandelker: She's like, last week, I've been so stressed. My sugar is like 400. I don't know what that means. But is that something you're putting on yourself because you're very nervous about leaving? why are you having so much sugar uh no it's not i'm not actually eating sugar but like i'm just anxious to travel that obviously affects the diabetes and i know it's difficult for everybody to understand but i'm like 12 injections a day so it's hard that's crazy 12 injections oh

46:45Ronnie Karam: my gosh yeah um and so she's you know she's like well and then the other issues i'm working with the jacket japanese consulate to get my adhd medication approved and i don't have enough time to get that approved and she's like what how does anybody travel like 90 of orange county is on

47:04Ben Mandelker: annouville well i guess you know you you have to have like 14 days so there wasn't enough time so i do truly like want to go so bad i want to go so badly that i made sure to do this last second um so then uh heather is like well we would love for you to be here we have all sorts of plans to gang up on you and make you feel embarrassed in a foreign country.

47:32Ronnie Karam: Who is Vicky going to mom shame?

47:37Ben Mandelker: It's really unfortunate that you can't be here to be shamed.

47:41Ronnie Karam: It's like a ball in racquetball just decides not to come to racquetball that day. We are supposed to be beating you around this court. Yeah.

47:50Ben Mandelker: They are like, what do you mean? So Heather says, when we texted the other day, I got the vibe that she was handling things and it was going to be fine. And I was really looking forward to spending more time with that trash can. I mean, Carmela. So, you know, it's a bummer.

48:07Ronnie Karam: Uh-oh, Carmela's not coming? Well, I think that was a good decision. It was a good decision for Carmela not to come to Tokyo. She doesn't know us. She doesn't know us. And guess what? I think she's a teppie downer. What do you think of that? What do you think of that? Vicky walking in with her tracks. hanging all out, just looking terrible. Like, Vicky, you know, at least Vicky's not just pretending she doesn't want to be here. Everything about Vicky says, I do not want to be here. Yeah. She's got cardboard and tape coming out of her weave. My gosh, just zero effort.

48:42Ben Mandelker: Ladies, I don't want this Carmella news to bring any of us down, because we're about to go on vacation, and we're going to have fun. So even if Carmela's not here, let's have a great time. But also, I do want some of you to know that Archie was diagnosed with brain cancer on Friday, and he had three seizures in five days, and we're going to see an oncologist when we get back.

49:06Ronnie Karam: Wow, everybody, a goof chip. It's like, geez. Maybe a hug's around or something.

49:17Ben Mandelker: But we're going to have a great time. We're going to have a great time. But I just want you to know when we are having the best time ever and doing sake bombs, just remember my dog has brain cancer. It's the Vicky of dogs right now.

49:32Ronnie Karam: And I'm glad that I got you guys that information before Gina told everybody. Yeah, it's not right, Gina. They're telling people about brain spots. That's not right.

49:44Ben Mandelker: Okay. So it was like, cheers, everyone. Let's pretend we didn't hear that really sad bit of information. Cheers to flying private without any garbage people on board.

49:55Ronnie Karam: Twelve hours later. Where's Japan? Can you play with everybody? We're here. Oh my God. We're like literally in Tokyo right now. Isn't that crazy? You know what? I don't know if my eyes are just blurry. I can't read any of these signs. It's because they're in a different language. What do you mean? Where's the Chili's? Where's the Chili's?

50:14Ben Mandelker: this is my first time here and i'm so excited to find out if my television sitcom that's life made an impression in japan i may be a huge celebrity here so they're all really excited

50:28Ronnie Karam: um and then vicky is worried that she's not giving us enough entertainment so she goes back to her old oh my god i might throw up and that's her hilarious moment for the episode vicky making barfing sounds into a bag because she ate sausage at an airport. Yeah, she had a sausage.

50:50Ben Mandelker: And Vicky's like, yeah, word of wisdom, don't eat sausage from an airplane. Things that aren't settling by my stomach and it wants to come out and play. I'm like, I'm sure, that sausage is probably cooked within one inch of its life. I'm sure it's not the sausage's fault. I don't want to stand up for airplane sausage, but I'm going to assume it has something to do with whatever she ate in Orange County.

51:09Ronnie Karam: I think she's just trying to be cute. And it's just like, okay, wow, the 20th year of Vicky trying to barf to be hilarious. Last week it was Vicky farting. This week it's Vicky barfing. Can't wait till Vicky shows up into a glamorous restaurant with just a hat holding a beer with a straw that comes down into her. I mean, just don't want to watch this. Get her out of here. Everyone, everyone, look at how large Tokyo is.

51:35Ben Mandelker: Just so you understand the size of this place, Tokyo is 242 square miles and Manhattan is 23 square miles and Gina's house is 14 square inches.

51:48Ronnie Karam: Okay, okay, Heather, you know, while you're looking things up, look up how to say, pull my finger in Japan-ish.

51:57Ben Mandelker: It says, pull my finger and Wendy Malick noise comes afterwards. Okay.

52:05Ronnie Karam: Um, so Jen was stuck in the car with Vicky and, uh, Shannon. And they were like, I'm going to vomit. I'm going to vomit. And she's like, well, this was great. Thanks. What a glamorous trip. You just stuck me in with, you know, the barf sisters. Well, that was great, guys.

52:23Ben Mandelker: Yeah, this is a real great way to open up our trip to the Japanese part of California. So, uh, then they arrive at their, their hotel, the Balustar Hotel. and they are greeted by the staff and all that stuff. And Jen's complaining about how Shannon and Vicky were barfing in the car. And Shannon's like, you know what? I keep on burping. Is anyone else burping? I am burping. I'm burping a lot right now.

52:52Ronnie Karam: So they are welcomed to the hotel by the staff. And Tamara's like, we're going to get our rooms and freshen up and then we're going to go to dinner. It's going to be so fun, everybody. okay who's gonna share a room uh gina and emily are gonna share a room and emily's like does someone have a problem with it because you know she was waiting for heather to be like just once it would be nice if emily asked me to share a room but heather's like i'm not sharing a room with anybody i'm rich fuck you people emily though is like well i already told alexis bolino that

53:24Ben Mandelker: you're not delusional so that fulfills my obligation to you as a friend so therefore or I'm going to room with Gina. Heather's like, that's okay. My dear friend Tamara will room with me because we are great, great friends and she hates Jen. I've been going with Jen. Jen, me and Jen forever. And then Shannon and Vicky are together. So Heather's like, that's great. I'm alone. It's all good.

53:48Ronnie Karam: Yeah, I think she likes it because these, I mean, I know she's been hurt in the past by being left out or whatever, but this is a time you want to be left out for sure. Yeah. I see. So Heather's like, wow. Well, I mean, Jen and Tamara rooming together. Wow. Sick invite. I mean, hi, come to our room, whatever.

54:12Ben Mandelker: That's fine. Notice how I use the word sick. Cause I'm cool and young. So they go to their rooms and then they're just like, oh my God. So cool. And Gina says, it's like Mary Tyler Moore and Dick Van Dyke. And they're excited because the rooms are nice. And it's much nicer than where Gina lives. So she's really, really excited. And Tamara's saying, Jen's asking Tamara how her ride was. And Tamara's like, He was good. Emily was talking about her marriage. And she just said that Shane was being like really shitty to her. And she was like, He just makes me feel like I'm a bad mom. He says I don't spend time with the kids.

54:56Ronnie Karam: Yeah, well, if I say, like, what are you going to, you and the kids going to do when I'm in Tokyo? And then he says the same thing we always do because you're never here. I take care of them all the time. I mean, jeez.

55:10Ben Mandelker: Every little fucking comment. Yeah, if Emily's not happy to continue, something's got to give. Somebody's going to leave. Sorry, am I laughing?

55:21Ronnie Karam: well you know i i hate to be the misogynist in the group but do you think emily's doing enough i mean is emily doing enough guys you know it's one thing for a woman to be home raising her kids

55:31Ben Mandelker: and just being there all day for 12 hours and the man comes home late at night and we don't have to question that because they're the man they're allowed to do that but when it's the woman who

55:39Ronnie Karam: does it is she doing enough i don't think so yeah yikes so then we go to heather's and uh tamra comes to visit and she's like whoa you've got the girls out tonight wow are those all you or something pushing those up she's like something's pushing them up i've got alexis bolina up here just helping them up just looking for another chance you better watch out yeah they're doing

56:07there's the bra heather do bro so heather's like well you two are turning into shannon and carmela

56:15Ben Mandelker: Ha ha. Late. Because you're late. You're running late. Do you see the joke there? Shannon runs late and Carmela runs late. You see, there's a lot of humor in the sentence construction if you really think about it.

56:30Ronnie Karam: You'll get it later because you're poor. So then we go to Shannon. She's getting makeup all over her. I was trying to put on powder. Why are you falling down, Shannon? I don't know.

56:44Ben Mandelker: Well, at least I don't look like a man. And everyone in the audience is like, what was that? Emily goes, did somebody tell you you look like a man? Tamara did. And then we have a flashback to the lobby of Emily saying, Shannon, where did you get this outfit? My closet. She looks like an old man.

57:04Ronnie Karam: So I guess that really has stuck with Shannon. Well, her travel outfit. It wasn't anything glamorous, but, you know, still. and Shannon's like, but it was a cashmere set. I want it to be comfortable. Well, I don't think the thread count matters, Shannon. That shit was bad. And I'm Gina. Yeah.

57:23Ben Mandelker: That was like some bad thread count. I feel bad.

57:27Ronnie Karam: I just wish they'd put a montage of Gina fashion from the past decade up on the screen. Gina, you're not in the place to say anything. I don't care if she was wearing a trash bag.

57:38Ben Mandelker: It is not your place to say anything. Yeah. when it comes to gino we are more thinking about thread discount so then we go to uh restaurant the discountess um so they're at the hotel restaurant and gino's like i can't believe we're here you know jen's like i know isn't it crazy i mean costa mesa is really looking crazy these days all these strange languages well it's pre-fixed we don't get to order anything

58:06Ronnie Karam: Everybody just wait and eat whatever comes out. Good. I'm so tired of making decisions in my life. So the first course comes out, and it is, of course, like a raw tuna or something like that. And Vicky's like, I think this is duck. They're like, oh, you got something different, Vicky? She said, yeah, I don't eat raw fish. I do not eat raw fish.

58:29Ben Mandelker: This is the wrong country for her. No one gets it because they're all dumb. jen was like hey do you guys remember the food in iceland yeah yeah yeah i ate well yeah and then we brought you a casserole but he's like oh yeah that's right you guys once were nice to me that was cool yeah and then he went to jail no that's yeah he went to um what's it called what's it called hospital hospital yeah that's right hospital it was like watching a really bad episode of windows or draw what is that jail box hospital and then we got clips of vicky on that

59:03Ronnie Karam: trip being wheeled out with a blanket over her face. Yeah. Classic. That was a classic. So Tamara's like, wait, Vicky, you've never been to jail. No. No, I have not been to jail. What kind of thing are you asking? I'm a Christian.

59:20Ben Mandelker: But it's not fun. They don't even have pecorino doors there. Gina goes, well, you don't even go to real jail, Tam. I mean, Shannon. I went to, like, real jail.

59:30Ronnie Karam: Okay, what's the difference between fake jail and real jail? That's great. It's a cell. She was like, no. Like, she went to, like, an office. A new bar at Binge. Oh, Jimmy, she went to boozy jail. She's like, oh, trust me. It was a cell. It was a cell. Okay, well, it wasn't open bars, you know, which was fine because I was not drinking at that moment anyway because I do not have a problem. It was just a door with a little window. And I saw it and I said, I cannot stay in here. I will not. No. No, I will not stay in here. and then the guy said, okay, well, this is the biggest room. And I said, well, let me see how big it is then.

1:00:08Ronnie Karam: And I walked in and he shut the door behind me. I'm telling you, the service is disgusting.

1:00:14Ben Mandelker: And I said, furthermore, I don't appreciate this Cape Cod looking sofa over here and this wooden table. It's not rustic, it's faux rustic. Turns out I was in a pottery barn the whole time. Who knew?

1:00:27Ronnie Karam: Shannon trying to get snotty at the jail is hilarious. I will not stay in there. All right, well, I'll check out the room and just see if it's, if it meets my standards. She pushes her in there and shuts the door.

1:00:42Ben Mandelker: She goes in as if she's surveying a hotel room. Well, well, ma 'am, we do have some, we do have a lovely little coffee table. Oh, there's a coffee table. Let me take a look.

1:00:51Ronnie Karam: Oh my God, I got trapped in here. Oh my God. You are lucky I don't know how to yelp. I'll tell you that. That was disgusting. So then now they're talking about Alexis and the party. And Jen's like, are you even sure that Alexis snubbed you? Because she was nice on the way out to me. So I just don't think that she would snub somebody. There, I said it.

1:01:14Ben Mandelker: This is what happened. Tamara was standing, not next to me, but sort of over there. Not really close, but not really far. Not quite diagonal, but not quite horizontal. Do you see what I'm saying? And then I looked over and then Alexis just went like she just watched a Wendy Malick movie.

1:01:35Ronnie Karam: wait so you didn't see her give you a face well i didn't see any face i didn't see any face well i didn't make it up and then later she said to me let's be honest we do have beef and i go we don't have beef you have beef wait a minute do i have beef what is this what is this is this duck is it

1:01:53Ben Mandelker: a cow where are we so there was a long podcast where she was given a platform to attack my character multiple times and that bothered me yeah well she called you feckless fleckless right you're flat you don't have any flex right not fleckless feckless and we see this clip of her on tamra's podcast where alexa says by the way at 50 years old why can't we all be friends like if you're 50 and you have to choose a lane you are feckless that is the word i would like to use i'm like but if you're 50 years old and you go to a party and you have a tantrum twice in a row maybe you're the one who's feckless and reckless.

1:02:32Ronnie Karam: And if you're going on a podcast and have to look up words to make you sound like less of a ding dong, you're a five-year-old. Like seriously, feckless. Nobody's buying it. I did think it was funny that Heather's like, well, she was given a platform on a very long podcast, which I did not appreciate. And she's talking about Tamara's podcast. Yeah. So she's like, we'll fight about that later. So now they're trying to figure out what feckless is. nobody knows what it is um which is very this cast and shana's like well i she's a whack job all right people who say feckless are whack jobs period okay i'll look it up feckless is an adjective that means incompetent irresponsible or lacking any real purpose or strength of character wow shana said all these words to me and never come up with the word feckless idiot also that's totally

1:03:27Ben Mandelker: not the right use of it like feckless meaning incompetent irresponsible or lacking strength or character so alexis said at 50 years old why can't we all be friends if you're 15 you have to choose a lane you are feckless is that the right use of that word there you're in contact that means you are incompetent you are you're if you're 50 years old and you want people to take asides that means you're irresponsible and incompetent and you lack purpose

1:03:58Ronnie Karam: or strength of character. Okay. Oh, Jen's like, by the way, I was telling the girls about my amazing car ride with these two barfing and shitting in the backseat. Okay, we are eating now. We are eating now. You were the one making your barf play. Yeah.

1:04:15Ben Mandelker: But also they were saying, Emily, that there's some serious stuff with you and Shane. Are you and Shane doing okay? because I'm about to take a nap. So I just want to know if this would really help me get some Z's. She's like, no, we're not okay. No, but I kind of believe that the stress of what you guys are both going through with Luke is going to be hard on your marriage. Man, I hope that Luke really gets to see this on TV, that he is the source of your marriage breaking up.

1:04:41Ronnie Karam: Yeah, I'm just saying, if I ever do divorce, Shane, the divorce papers are going to say, his fault, kid's fault, Luke. Stupid Luke.

1:04:51Ben Mandelker: Everything was fine until the children.

1:04:55Ronnie Karam: Well, we're just at the point where we wake up in the morning. We don't even speak to each other. I mean, I guess that would be step one. Sounds good to me. It's my kind of marriage.

1:05:06Ben Mandelker: Are you sleeping in the same room? No. But when I say that, it's not like you guys are in separate residences and he's at the mansion in Orange County and you're in the penthouse, so you're naturally sleeping in different rooms. but if you were in the same penthouse, you'd be in the same room. Is that the situation? No. One residence, two different rooms.

1:05:28Ronnie Karam: Oh, I see. Gina's children all even sleep in the same room, and there's 19 of them.

1:05:35Ben Mandelker: So are you, like, in the east wing, and he's in the west wing of the compound? No. I don't understand how any of this works.

1:05:46Ronnie Karam: Heather's just like trying to add things in her mind. So do you have an apartment under your apartment?

1:05:54Ben Mandelker: Question. When you have to access your wardrobe, is it awkward when you get in the elevator and ride it up to your room?

1:06:04Ronnie Karam: Tell me this. Do you have privacy in your vestibule? What the fuck is a vestibule? God damn it. Do you ever talk about the voice of the day? Do you ever talk about it? She's like, well, I have before, but he never has. And I can tell you in 17 years, he's never, ever used the word divorcee ever. I mean, I'm the crazy one. I get pushed to the brink. I say it all the time.

1:06:26Ben Mandelker: Yeah, but you know what, though? You don't ever want it in the back of your mind. Like, don't even do that. Because if you guys love each other and you can make it work, like, I bailed out too soon on Don. Yeah, like, I did the wrong thing with Don. I mean, I'd be gone on a business trip for three or four days and I'd never hear from him. And I'd be like, how could you not call me? And then if you, like, don't spend time together, there's, like, nothing to glue you back together. So I'm totally aware of making a priority with my relationship with Mike. My priority with Mike is to remind him on the daily that I would have been better off with Don.

1:06:51Ben Mandelker: And that's so important to me to do.

1:06:53Ronnie Karam: I mean, it might have also been the fucking Brooks while you were on work trips. But I don't know. Let's just skip that part. So Jen's like, do you think there's any part of Shane that's just like, you know, you're just so fucking hot that maybe he's insecure or he has resentment. You know, maybe he's just like, oh, my God, Emily's too hot for me. or do you think that maybe he's like wow it's really hard having a hot wife while i'm stuck at home with children do you think it's maybe the children while you're out are you out too much

1:07:20Ben Mandelker: could you do something i don't know you'd have to ask him what's going on in his mind i'm like i think he's told you many times i'll take care of the kids just can you make me a steak once in a while not just once see look at me now defending shane see how the worm has turned so emily's like you know he doesn't say that to me but i feel like his attitude towards me has definitely changed

1:07:44Ronnie Karam: not really actually in all these years it's been the same but um shitty all the time i don't blame her for not liking it i just think it's funny that emily's like wow i just wish shane would communicate and every time it cuts to shane he's like i feel like i do everything around here all the time and you're never here god shane learn to communicate but what's really on your mind

1:08:05Ben Mandelker: And so Jen says, before my divorce, we stopped talking. We stopped sitting in the same room. We stopped connecting. And I just stopped caring. And we both just quit. And maybe Will and I could have made it work, which would have been amazing for our five children. But the what-ifs are horrible. And she says, I'm telling you, as somebody from divorce, talk for your family. Because divorce sucks, Emily. It literally fucking sucks. What's better is staying in a marriage where you don't talk and you don't sleep in the same room. And you're both miserable.

1:08:34Ronnie Karam: that's what's much much better yes it's kind of an odd cast to be giving advice um and emily's like well i don't know i mean i don't know maybe the next step below indifference is to go separate ways you know maybe just the cycle of being defensive and hating each other i mean maybe

1:08:52Ben Mandelker: we should stop that you know what shane needs help okay because i think he's drowning at home with the kids and i have somebody coming over once a week just do my laundry you know i don't cook I'm not doing anything. If I could pay for it to be done, I'm doing that because I need help. And Tam is like, what? Wow, Gina's bougie now. Gina can just make it rain, baby, make it rain. I think their problems are deeper than that.

1:09:18Ronnie Karam: Yeah. Heather's like, well, I think Gina's being a little flippant with throwing money at it. Roll in your money. So if some falls on somebody, it happens, you know, but parents do need help. We all need a break sometimes. At one point, Alfredo had one baby on his nipple, another baby on his nipple. He was driving another one to school making dinner.

1:09:44Ben Mandelker: I mean, Gina doesn't realize you don't throw money at a situation to solve it. You dangle it. Much better.

1:09:53Ronnie Karam: If you really want someone to raise your children properly, you don't pay them to do it. You threaten not to pay them.

1:10:02Ben Mandelker: you withhold withhold don't throw

1:10:09Ronnie Karam: so emily's like i just need validation that i'm a good mom well does he ever tell you you're a good mom no what does he tell you i'm a terrible mom god

1:10:22Ben Mandelker: okay well guess what i'm bored let's go check and see what's going on outside i think i need some fresh air and a little Tokyo nightlife to show America that I'm a pretty fun, cool person who can just go out and be chill and drink shots of beverages. So I think this will be good for us to go out into the bar life of the evening of the Tokyo.

1:10:43Ronnie Karam: Oh my god, that sounds miserable. I'm not doing it. I'm not doing it. My knee hurts. My face hurts. I almost barfed today. No, I'm not doing it. I have a job. I have a job. Work.

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1:13:18Ben Mandelker: So everyone but Vicky goes out and they're like, wow.

1:13:21Ronnie Karam: So miserable. Jeez, she's just so miserable. And I felt so bad for the producer that was stuck following Vicky because she's just hobbling up to her room like, I hate this. This one's going to burn in pain. I hate being here. Who are these people? They even have citizenship. Some of them are not. But the producer's like, great, I'm in Tokyo. I could have actually been out seeing something. I'm following Vicky around. This is great.

1:13:45Ben Mandelker: Thanks. I just felt bad for the producers in general because they're like, okay, the 20th anniversary season. There's a lot riding on this. All eyeballs are on it. This is supposed to be an iconic season to celebrate an iconic franchise. And it's been a little slow, but don't worry. We're up to the budget. We're sending the women to Tokyo this year. We're not just going to Temecula. And okay, so one has already bailed and one's going to sleep early. And great.

1:14:14Ronnie Karam: One might bail. Shannon, because she might have a trauma of it she has to go home for. So it's like, that's really working out.

1:14:21Ben Mandelker: Like, okay, we're trying to save the season. Okay. Yeah. And Tamar's like,

1:14:27Ronnie Karam: this is the electric district. Oh my God. It feels that way. Cause there's like so many electric things. Yeah. It's like lights and there's more lights. Oh my God. How much does this cost? This is crazy.

1:14:40Ben Mandelker: Oh my God. Guys, look at this. This is a Japanese 7-Eleven. Oh my God. You guys know about 7-Eleven? Oh yes. The age range where you start to teach people how to be servants. No. Oh, my God. It's how much my ring costs. Oh, my God. That's the dimensions of my home. 7 by 11. Oh,

1:15:08Ronnie Karam: guys. I started looking at Japan on my Instagram because my alga was serving me nothing but Japan. and all they talk about is egg salad sandwiches that made in the art of Japan. I didn't know that was a thing, but now, of course, this is all I've been thinking about because they go on and on about these egg salad sandwiches and they go get them and then they all review them. I want wine.

1:15:31Ben Mandelker: 100%. Tamago Sando. I feel like you can get some over here in LA. We have to investigate. I feel like we have access to them. I don't know if you have to go all the way to Japan for it, But if that's an excuse to go to Japan, I will do it. So they're like, I'm not getting excited. And Jen says, whatever it is, it is whipped to the most decadent, creamy, light, you know, delicious, eggy, puffy, beautiful thing I've ever had in my entire life. It's like, Jen, you're eating your sleeve. Oh.

1:16:07Ronnie Karam: Guys, these are bars. It only fits five people in each one. So they think I think he didn't come. So they go into this like little kind of booth bar thing. And there's a list of drinks there. And one of them's like a J and a J. So they're like, oh, my God, you're going to get a John John. What's your patient in?

1:16:31Ben Mandelker: Well, I would thank you for bringing up that sore spot there. Thank you so much. Oh, my God, is that a snake in a bottle? Do you drink that? Oh my god, what? That's not like an egg salad sandwich. That's terrible. And the waiter's like, yep, yeah, that's the thing. It's a snake shot. He's like, I will taste it because I am basically Japanese since I have my plates in Nobu.

1:16:57Ronnie Karam: It's a viper. Oh, well, do they ever get to move around or do they just have to sit there in this alcohol bottle? Gina's like, they're dead. Do you think that they're alive? Well, how am I supposed to know? It's a snake. I just see snake and I say, no, no. Do you want to spend time with the snake? No, no. Everybody, look at that snake. Its face is moving as much as Emily's does. Look at that.

1:17:25Ben Mandelker: Can I get a margarita? And then Heather takes the shot of the vodka. Oh, my God. Dubrow just took a shot of snakehead vodka? That's wild. Japanese Heather. Japan Heather is a different type of Heather. Yes, I am fun. Look, that tasted like cinnamon, a cinnamon snake. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Guess who's jealous of not rooming with me now because you're missing out on Japan Heather.

1:17:54Ronnie Karam: Nuh-uh, it tastes like licorice. Cinnamon, Tamra. Licorice. Okay, maybe licorice and cinnamon like a Malibu.

1:18:02Ben Mandelker: If you ever call the snake vodka licorice again, it will cost you a lot. It is cinnamon and nothing more.

1:18:11Ronnie Karam: Cut to Vicky. It's like, ah, ah, my luck hurts. Good. Where's the Wi-Fi? I want to check my emails. You're going to give me my emails right now.

1:18:21Ben Mandelker: So now they go to the hotel afterwards, and Emily faces, or is it the morning? It's the new morning, new day. and since it's the new morning, they're all obligated to call home so we can watch them be relatable. And so Emily FaceTimes Shane and he doesn't put the camera on. She's like, Hi, why can't I see you? I don't know. What do you mean you don't know? It means I don't know. But what are you talking about?

1:18:46Ronnie Karam: Hey. Can you not say what are you talking about? I'm in the car with Annabelle too, by the way. Oh, fine. I'll talk to you later then. Bye. It's like, well, hello, Annabelle. Yeah. Hi, honey. Hi, honey.

1:18:58Ben Mandelker: How are you doing?

1:19:01Ronnie Karam: At least make the effort to try to win the audience over. You know what I mean? Like, you need to be like, wow, Shane's being so mean to me. Look, I'm just calling to be nice and Shane's being a dick. And hi, honey, are you doing okay? I'm so sorry I'm not there with you. I wish I could be there with you taking you to school or whatever. At least try to win the reputation war. Oh, whatever. Animals in the car will fuck off both of you. Bye.

1:19:25Ben Mandelker: No, seriously. Especially because so much the season has been. I was ignoring Annabelle because I was dealing with Luke. Just another way in which Luke has ruined the family. But now I'm paying attention to Annabelle. I took her to the mall. I moved her into a different room. I put a bow in her hair. I'm the best mom ever. Well, she's right here. Fuck off. Goodbye, everyone.

1:19:49Ronnie Karam: So Gina has decided that it's time to go to a temple because Emily needs some spiritual healing, okay? And yeah, when we were in Bali, I went to a temple and it like changed everything. You know, like it changed everything. I became a real estate person after that. Now look at me, I have shoulder heads.

1:20:09Ben Mandelker: You know, at first I was going to become a trainer at Bali's, but then I found out I went out of business. So I became real estate instead. So yeah, this will work. This sounds like it'll work. A spiritual moment for Emily will fix everything. uh so but you know she's desperate because you know we all joke but like that family is definitely in a crisis at the moment so emily's saying not only am i trying to be a good mom to my kids and to deal with these issues and to do what's best thing for luke but then i feel like i have someone someone taking shots at me and it just feels like we're enemies and i just feel like i'm failing all

1:20:42Ronnie Karam: the time so so now we go to the temple so gina's like guys it's the temple and there's like a hand washing station and then we're gonna go do incense cleansing. And they're like, oh, okay. Okay, light your incense. Okay, because I went to a temple in Bali. Okay. Someone? It was, like, so transformative. And everyone's temple is different. Like, you know, this one's, like, pretty. Like, there's so many different kinds of temples you got. I'm a temple person now.

1:21:10Ben Mandelker: God help me if Gina Kirshenheider is, like, my spiritual guide at a temple. You guys, you guys want to be spiritual for a second? Like, I'm over here. I'm like, there's gotta be someone else is there someone on loan from one of these other tour groups it's just is there someone at the temple that can could swap in because like gina is just not the one i needed this but gina's information so funny she's like i went to a temple once and let me tell y 'all all temples are different but i'm gonna act like the expert for this temple because i went to a temple once also i once saw a basketball game you know who played temple it was amazing so she's It's like, okay, so, like, when you see the smoke, okay, you want to breathe it in because it's, like, a cleanse.

1:21:50Ben Mandelker: And it's, like, you know, like, in with the good, out with the bad. Like, I feel bad, but now I don't feel bad because I went out with the bad.

1:21:59Ronnie Karam: I feel bad. I feel tempo bad. So, Gina is saying breathe in because it's meant to cleanse. Okay? Out with the good, out with the bad. Okay, so we're cleansing. And then after we cleanse, we're going to do a fortune. And some people get good fortunes and some people get bad fortunes. But if you don't like the bad fortune, start it on fire and pretend it didn't happen. Then you won't feel bad.

1:22:25Ben Mandelker: You won't feel bad. Well, no one wants a bad fortune. That's terrible. But I do like that there's a way to wash it away. Hmm. I wonder if there's a way to do that with people who work in your house.

1:22:37Ronnie Karam: I've been burning Alfredos for years. I'm into it. so um they ask like what their dream fortunes are oh well you know a bad fortune for me would be a world without champs a ground floor apartment i would have to drive myself

1:22:56Ben Mandelker: i'm rich what about a new sitcom when jane leaves now we're joking i thought you can't say things you can't take back that's just not nice of you to say who needs a fortune when you've

1:23:08Ronnie Karam: already got one.

1:23:12Ben Mandelker: So then Heather's like, so if we do get a bad fortune, where do we burn it? Okay, well I'm glad you asked. There's like a burning station. I know this because I've been to a temple before. By the way, you know what my head has? Two temples, so I sort of know a thing or two about temples.

1:23:28Ronnie Karam: Dropping a yen when you're praying for your wish. Um, I'm sorry. Dropping a what? A yen. I don't, I don't know. I don't know where we are. We're in a different country, Jen. You're just going to have to roll with it. Do I give a peso?

1:23:45Ben Mandelker: My name's Jen, not Yen. Sorry, I think you were misspeaking.

1:23:51Ronnie Karam: So now Gina. She's like, it's still Gina, teaching everybody spirit. Take out your stick. Okay, your sticks are going to have a number. Okay,$25. She gives us the salt. So she finally gets a fortune. When spring comes, all trees and grasses are in full bloom. Wealth will grow large. Your children will still be poor. Spend the money on your wedding instead of your children. They don't need any space. They're just kids. Who cares? Oh my god, that was so nice. We're starting out the trip right.

1:24:22Ben Mandelker: Oh my god, wait, there's more of the fortune on the back of it. It says, also, you should definitely wear a bikini for your marriage. Okay, that's nice for your wedding. A bikini wedding. That's so nice, this fortune.

1:24:34Ronnie Karam: Yeah, it feels good to pull a good fortune. um uh gina will you read mine i just love to hear the alternate language of poverty

1:24:45Ben Mandelker: what everyone wants to hear when their fortunes are being read is gina's long island accent okay everyone gather round kids had his fortune everything does not go smoothly burning it burning it burning it right now burning burning burning burning burning okay this one's for jen

1:25:04Ronnie Karam: Marriage and employment are both beyond

1:25:08Ben Mandelker: Oh wait a second I don't like that Can we get rid of it?

1:25:12Ronnie Karam: Mine is absolutely crazy Okay Shannon said good luck will come from the heavens The person you're waiting for will come soon

1:25:21Ben Mandelker: Also you will have a pecorino door installed in your home Oh my god This is what I prayed for It seems like it's finally happening A pecorino door Oh my god Umami flavors all the time when I come in and out of the house.

1:25:37Ronnie Karam: Gina, can you read my fortune too? I've already been confronted with words like flagless today, and I just don't want my brain to explode. Okay.

1:25:47Ben Mandelker: Talk with tongue entangled by your getting drunk, but gives no unpleasant impression to others. There may be a little trouble in your family, but when you believe in God and ask for happiness, you can get calmed down, and the person you wait for will come, Lee.

1:26:05Ronnie Karam: Oh, my God. It's about Sydney coming home. I knew it, the fortune. Everybody's telling me that my daughter, who doesn't want to talk about Sydney, Sydney's her name, Dutch, is going to come home. Hey, find it. Find this Sydney. Here's a picture of her. Here's a picture of Sydney, the girl who won't talk to me because I keep bringing up her name on TV. She's coming home.

1:26:27Ben Mandelker: Oh, I'm sorry. I just burned that for you, Tamara. No!

1:26:35Ben Mandelker: So Vicky's like I only want a good fortune Okay I don't want any more bad Give me a good fortune Okay Vicky Your mind is unsettled Because it's damaged in big ways And you're wondering whether to leave or stay And you made a big mistake with Don Gumbelson Wow this is really specific

1:26:53Ronnie Karam: All your deeds and work and emails Which you won't stop answering non-stop Are gonna go to hell Because your whole life sucks And she's like oh my god I don't want this rip one I don't want this. Rip it up. Burn it. Your mind doesn't stay still, and you're going to lose your mind right away. Oh, my God. It means you're fucking going senile. Brain spots. Oh, my God. Your fortune says brain spots.

1:27:14Ben Mandelker: It also says you're going to wind up going back to Atlanta.

1:27:17Ronnie Karam: No. No.

1:27:19Ben Mandelker: No. Burn it. Burn it. Burn it.

1:27:21Ronnie Karam: Do not say that I'm going senile. Do not say that. Well, it's a fortune. I don't know what to tell you. Oh, and it also says start marriage of any kind to people named Mike who are usually colored purple. Okay.

1:27:34Ben Mandelker: You know what? Whoever wrote this damn fortune needs to be fired. Okay. It's the worst fortune ever. So I hate this fortune and I don't ever want to do it again. So they burned that. And, oh, Emily has a fortune. Your gem has no flaw and it will glisten better when you polish. Your hope will become true and it is good for you to make a trip. Both marriage and employment good.

1:27:56Ronnie Karam: well that one missed some of them were very accurate okay oh i forgot to read the back shane does everything around the house

1:28:09Ben Mandelker: oh i feel like it's a good sign from the universe and i feel like i needed it and the universe knew that i needed it so thank you universe the universe is like um we thought nicole kidman was coming. Sorry. It was for her. Yeah.

1:28:25Ronnie Karam: All right, everybody. Thank you for coming to my temple. All right. Wow. What an episode. So that was that. Real Housewives of Orange County.

1:28:36Ben Mandelker: Yeah. That was great. Well, thanks everyone for being here. What a tremendous moment for Japan and for the ladies of Orange County on this momentous first episode of their 20th anniversary trip.

1:28:49Ronnie Karam: Yeah. it was a good one alright everybody thanks so much for being here we'll talk to you next time bye bye

1:28:59walk into the club everybody say my name walk into the mall

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