#3583 Below Deck S13E02: How Many Tuk-Tuks Do I Give?

0:00Therapy's biggest impact doesn't show up in some dramatic breakthrough. It shows up in the smallest moments. You bite your tongue instead of escalating. You put your phone down instead of firing off that text. You say what you actually mean instead of what would hurt someone else the most. Nobody applauds those moments, but they quietly change your life. That's what growing feels like. And that's exactly what Grow Therapy is here for. Grow is therapy that works, covered by insurance. Sessions average$21 with insurance, and some pay as little as$0, depending on their plan. There are no subscriptions, no long-term commitments.

0:37You just pay per session. Grow connects you with thousands of high-quality, licensed therapists across the U.S., offering both virtual and in-person sessions, nights and weekends. You can search by what matters, like insurance, specialty, identity, or availability. And you can book a therapy session in minutes and begin in as little as two days, not the national 48-day average. See if you could pay as little as$0 for therapy in seconds at growtherapy.com slash ACAST. That's growtherapy.com slash ACAST. growtherapy.com slash ACAST. Availability and coverage vary by state and insurance plan. This episode is brought to you by Don't Lie to Me, a new video podcast available wherever you get your podcasts.

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2:38Ben Mandelker: Hello and welcome to Watch What Crappens, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to talk about. I'm Ben Mandelker, and joining me today is the wonderful, the charming, and the lovely Ronnie Karam. Hi, Ronnie. How are you? Aren't you lovely? I'm good. What's going on with you? You know, it's a festive, exciting day here at the homestead, getting my roof patched up ahead of any more super El Nino moments that are happening. So it's pretty exciting here, there's people overhead. Getting El Nino prepared. I know, seriously but otherwise, I'm just hanging out with you ready to talk with you, got a big exciting week because we're doing this I'm going on Kempire's show, we'll have information about that, but that'll be on YouTube so you'll have to check out Kempire Kempire will then also be coming on to What's Your Order, that'll be probably next week and there's a new episode of What's Your Order up with Laura Marie Shanehals from Sex Unique Podcast, so that's on our YouTube channel and that episode we're counting down the top five bravo songs which is perfect um also thank you again to everyone who came out in sauce in minneapolis and detroit over the weekend what an amazing amazing fun time we had with those shows um and then our next shows that we'll be uh going to are going to be in philadelphia and dc that's november 5th and 7th so that's about two weeks away and then after that dallas austin houston and texas then nashville uh clearwater for fort lauderdale and then in the New Year, we go to San Francisco, Salt Lake City, Denver, Charleston, Atlanta, Seattle, Vancouver, Portland, Toronto, Boston, and New York City for the Golden Crappies.

4:20Ben Mandelker: All those tickets are at watchworkcrappens.com. So, come join. And by the way, we got, it was great to see everyone so far in these first four cities. And what I love are the people who come up and say, you know what? I just decided to come alone, and then I made friends. And I just want to say to people who are like, I want to go, but I can't find anyone to go with me we say this every single time come alone you will have a great time i'm sure you probably listen to the show alone so why not why not arrive alone that's the same same experience lots of people got laid this weekend that's for sure that's for sure yes come to our show you'll get laid nothing will turn you on like going to a crap and show solo yeah i mean i listen I listen to podcasts right in my own little earbuds.

5:09Ben Mandelker: That's what I meant by you listen alone. I'm not saying you live a solitary existence and have no friends. I mean, you listen to these shows just in your ears most of the time. I'm always advocating a solitary, alone existence lifestyle. So if you do, find my me. Come be alone with me. Well, I'm with Ben, but you know what I mean. Come be alone with another person who loves to be alone. Do my eyes look weird today? I don't know if I slept wrong or wet, but I feel like my eyes are really blind. That's right with me. I do. They're crazy. You know what? They're ones like a little puffy, probably allergies.

5:45Ben Mandelker: Yeah. I don't have allergies. I've got the Andy. I'm getting the Andy Cohen eye for making fun of Andy Cohen so much. I have that. I'm getting the wonky eye. Anyway, the point is, today is Below Deck Season 13, Episode 2, Pure Pressure. Spelled P-I-E-R, in case you were wondering. I see what they're doing, yeah. Yeah, it's episode two. And for those who don't remember, Taylor and Gaston from the Southern Charmverse are on this boat, along with some really annoying people in matching Kenny Flowers' clothing. Someone online said that maybe it's a pun on Kenny Powers, which is like a Danny McBride character, which still elicits the same groan for me, honestly.

6:36Ben Mandelker: Like, I just... Oh, really? I mean, I don't know. I still think... I'm still really mad because I thought it was a flower company. I thought it was for florals. It's not. Well, it's for floral shirts. This couple is obnoxious because they not only wear matching florals, but they want you to all wear matching florals as well. And then they bring you your product, and then you have to wear their fucking matching florals as well. Yeah. I'm not going to be friends with those people. They seem insufferable. Yeah. So, tacky couple. Tacky couple and friends are on board. And the crew, you know, it's just day two, so they're still getting to know each other.

7:20No one's really sure if they hate Rainbow yet. It's just, we're just in such innocent times right now.

7:26Ben Mandelker: Yeah. Yeah, Rambo's also in her season two. Like, I'm no longer a freshman. I'm a sophomore now, so I have a little pep in my step. She kind of has a little bit of a vibe, like I've been here before. I'm Rambo, Mr. Arnell. But she's still a disaster, I just want to point out. Yeah. Well, I'm super excited to provide the guests an experience they'll never forget. We're going to a cove today, a private cove. A cove that's so private you could be lost in there forever. I don't know how we're going to navigate that, but we're going to try. And if we make one little step or we're off one inch, this could end in death.

8:10Ben Mandelker: This cove is so private you have to send it a request for you to even look at it first. And you can't even see what other coves this cove follows because it's private. it yeah so um we see scenes going on all over the boat the guests are you know in in prints it's really all i can say about these guests fraser is checking in with rosa who really seemed like she would be a lot more chill than she turns out to be in this episode and i loved it i loved it we're already having the breakdown of a stew and i think it's glorious because i think we all saw that coming with rainbow because we've seen rainbow but rosa just seems so like oh just such happy rosa i'm just so glad to be here so experienced and uh she's she's going nuts today already i know i thought i thought she'd be like stiff upper lip and um no that upper lip was not stiff at all so yes she curled upper lip curled up it's very very upset and curled yes um so the guests are all swimming.

9:19Ben Mandelker: They're wearing their matching bathing suits because they're super annoying. And then Carrie drives this Tinder over to the beach. In a once-of-a-lifetime experience, these guests are going to do something they've never done before, which is wear solids. And Fraser says, I've done a lot of beach picnics, and this one is definitely up there. I mean, what the fuck is this? Am I in Jurassic Park? Or is this just another day in the office? Hashtag fun Fraser. he loves the picnic now i wish it was jurassic park chase these fuckers and now that'd be great yeah beach picnic where you could all get beheaded by giant dinosaurs because of the patterns it just sets off all the dinosaurs i can't take the patterns so um chef mo uh heads over with matthew who's the lead deckhand and they're talking about the crew and mo mo's the one who's just trying, he's not trying to get in everybody's pants.

10:18He's trying to get everybody into everybody's pants. He's kind of giving voyeur where he's just like, are you going to have sex with? Who are you into? Who are you into? Who do you want to stick it into? Hey, who do you want to make out with?

10:31Ben Mandelker: Yeah, he's a little messy. He's really getting into everyone's business, and he's trying to matchmake. But he seems to be aware of it. He's like, whatever, I'm bored. He's like, none of these people, I'm too old for them. So, whatever. I guess my version of having fun will be playing matchmaker. He's like a regular Emo. That's what his name is. And that is his Emo. Get it, wordplay. Wow, you can really tell Vanderpump is back on the air this week. Because I'm already making saucy puns. Oh, I'm doing the most difficult thing ever. Opening a hotel in Las Vegas. that is being done for me by everybody else.

11:13Oh, the Lisa Vanderpump show. So excited.

11:18Ben Mandelker: Vanderpump in Vegas. Lisa Las Vegas. So Mo is talking with Matthew. Now, Matthew is not the bosun. He's the lead deckhand. And I'm not saying you said bosun. I'm just saying that because I'm still cementing everyone's things. things. Matthew, to me, looks like a smiley face sticker. Like an emoji. He actually has an emoji face. When they made emojis, they were like, get that man in here. Remember Jacqueline, the fit model? He's like an emoji model. They're like, we need to come up with a new emoji face. Matthew, will you just play around? Do some freestyle. Oh, that's it. Freeze in that position.

11:59Ben Mandelker: This is going into iOS 57. He's like, hey, Matthew. I'm really indicated i'm liking to her vibe um her name is kaylee but you know yeah okay you'll you'll get it and uh he's like yeah energy wise she's like an attraction like super energy wise not that she's a hot blonde or anything it's totally her vibe so mo says out here out here throwing throwing i'm just out here throwing arrows baby i'm making sure everybody gets a little something The pool is too young for me, so if I can't swim, I'm going to make sure everybody else is swimming. Also, I'm just very, very bored. So then Mo goes up to Kaylee and is like, hey, just so you know, Matthew thinks that you're cute.

12:46Ben Mandelker: And you know he likes your vibe. And she's like, oh my god, I'm freaking out. I'm a paper blazer. I'm helpless romantic. I love love. I love it. I love having crushes. I love being in love. Well, that's nice that you love love. But I'm going to tell you this right now. You're not going to find any love on this boat. Nothing that you experience over the course of the season will be love. It will maybe masquerade as love, but there will be none of it. So don't get your hopes up. Yeah, you will be crying a lot. You're going to be crying a lot. I love love. That usually means I love stopping to my friends for hours on the phone about men.

13:21Why don't you? Who are never going to give me the kind of attention I deserve.

13:26Ben Mandelker: That's exactly correct. How about you put your focus into working a juicer? Say, I love juicers. because I think that will be more useful to you in this episode. She's like, oh my god, as soon as I saw him, I dropped an entire tray of drinks. Oh gosh, Widdly. Widdly breaks your heart in two days. You're going to be throwing those drinks across the room. He's like, you're going to be okay. You're going to be okay. Just chill. Chill. Yeah, it's always a bad sign when you're actually carrying the visual metaphor of your crush. just a glass spilling all over the place and falling on the floor walking on broken glass

14:08Ben Mandelker: i love any lennox as much as i love love um so then over on the beach the guests are um are there and fraser fraser serving lunch and he's like i really hope you enjoy what you're eating and what you're looking at, especially myself. That's a joke. I date a comedian now. This is as private as we could get for you, and all considering we wanted to keep away from people and nuts. Look, okay, hold on one moment. Pause for a smile. I am having a great time. And fun Fraser out. We want to keep you away from people, from nuts, from bad patterns. One of those things isn't happening fuck my life enjoy your meal you losers so we go back to azul five and kaylee asks rosa how she thinks things are going and rosa's like literally work-wise it's a complete pickle at the moment i mean that's because it's literally the birth of something great and birth is ugly do you understand so i'm like it just is what it is i'm a girl this is your second day you're Already comparing it to childbirth?

15:15Ben Mandelker: And a pickle all at once. There, the truth is this. My mother once gave birth to a pickle. My brother is a pickle. I carry this burden with me. He's not heavy. He's my pickled brother.

15:31Childbirth. You know, I'd look at this whole experience like I look at birth. It's a whole life flashing behind my eyes of cleaning toilets, making beds. It's like, okay, just get back to work. Sorry I asked. Jesus.

15:46Ben Mandelker: Just fold the towel. It's like John Beth.

15:54So Matthew is asking Alex what the plan is for tomorrow. And Alex is like, oh, no, no. You know what? I need to find that out. And just to see if there's anything you can do to keep reorganizing the LAS. That's a very, very big deal on Below Deck lately is a clean LAS. can make or break a person.

16:14Ben Mandelker: Matthew's like, but are we bringing out the jet skis here? Are you going to find them? Jet skis is kind of a state of mind. I'm going to say yes, no to your answer, to your question. We're just going to play it by ear. You know what? If we need the jet skis, then we will bring them out. If we don't, we won't bring them out. Or the exact opposite of that. I won't commit to anything yet. Well, Captain Kerry calls this very early on. later in the episode, he sees what Matthew is doing. Because Matthew's like, okay, okay, last, last, last. Oh, no, no, no, jet skis. No, no. What do we do next? What do we do next?

16:49What do we do next? Do we do the deck? Do we do that? And he's doing that so that he can later be like, this guy doesn't even know what he's doing. He has no idea what he's doing. I had to ask him a million questions and he doesn't know. But, you know, to be on his side for a second, Alex is very much like, I don't know, line, line.

17:07Ben Mandelker: his whole thing is that he's been out of it for what six months or something like that so he's a little rusty but he's like really rusty this guy needs some WD-40 or whatever they use by the way speaking of undermining lead deckhands something that we didn't really get to last night on crappy hour which go listen thank you Kelty Knight for joining us Lindsay Hubbard and Joe Bradley are like a thing this is like my brain is not computing this is this really true is it i haven't brought it up i haven't mentioned it because i just don't want to believe it lindsey is one of those people that i'm just on her side no matter what even when it's hard this one is hard this one is hard lindsey this one's hard you know people are like i also like fun and live her life you can have fun and live your life but this is just bad choices it's just bad taste you know and anybody you like you want to be able to tell them your taste right now needs work and i'm saying this out of love but bad bad choice yeah and like lindsey unfortunately is drawn to toxic men and this guy has like a full-on track record on tv like i just want lindsey to use the empirical data around her and and and go for better but like honestly what are they talking lindsey is also kind of toxic though so maybe it'll work out maybe it'll work out with those crazy toxic kids.

18:30I just don't want to see him on my screen. So it's, you know, like when I give my friends the advice of don't make a bad choice, a lot of times it's because I don't want to hang out with your boyfriend. You know, you have to think of me when you're dating somebody too, because I have to go to dinner with you guys, you know? And also, as we mentioned earlier, I'm chronically single. So I'm always going, you know, the third wheel for fun. I like it, but I have to, I'm dating your boyfriend as well in a way. So I don't even know Lindsay in real please don't make me watch this person also i think one thing that we've come to really learn

19:02Ben Mandelker: is that um certain kind of like bravo verticals just can't intermingle like whenever there's like someone from like the housewives that crosses over or vice versa into like basically the straight people shows which by which i mean like southern charm bander pump rules basically like ashley dating Luke. It's like, that was weird. Or when below deck people really interact a lot with these people, like Vanderpump Rulesians, like Winterhouse, it just was strange. It's weird that it doesn't quite work. But so the fact that this is a below deck person coming into the world of Summer House and in the city, it's like, my brain is not really allowing it to even happen.

19:54Ben Mandelker: It's like they're just in two different genres. I can't conceive of it. Yeah. It's like one of the golden girls showing up on ER, but as a golden girl. And you're like, Rose, what are you doing here? You're like, it's like you're in comedy. Yeah. That's actually an amazing, amazing example. Because it's like, Rose is in comedy, and this is ER. You can't do that. It's like when they come up with serious versions of sitcoms. yeah i don't want it um so we are in the lab the guests come back from their excursion they're everyone's unpacking their stuff rainbow starts giving rosa instructions she's like okay so um all of these need to go by the port hallway on the galley door okay these are dirty deck towels so do you understand what that means you need to put the dirty deck towels into the washing machine.

20:49The washing machine is a big square, but don't be fooled because in the middle it's round. That's just a door. You pull on it, that opens the door, and then you put things into the machine and close it. Now, don't be afraid of this. There's a button you press that is for on. Oh my gosh, this is going to take me a really long time to explain this to you. And Rosa's like, oh my God. I'm not a fucking moron.

21:17Ben Mandelker: I'm having a contraction. the child is coming Rosa's losing her mind and she says Rainbow is very blunt she doesn't say please and thank you and manners are free so Rainbow's tone is just completely unnecessary and I'm over it now I personally think that Rainbow being like okay here's some towels so you can put those over there you could do that whatever it's not like the worst but I think that Rosa is still so furious about being highly micromanaged the night before that like now anything rainbow does is just like fuck this bitch which you know she's also got to be pissed that she's got all this experience and then here comes a rainbow and she's been on the show before so she's immediately given seconds to before they even get a chance to prove themselves or anything and she is not liking this and i agree with you that rainbow rainbow's not even being rainbow right now she's being condescending but it's not in a way that she's not to everybody you know she's just being rainbow she's not even being a jerk or anything and rosa is not liking this and then she walks off and starts crying oh no and oh yeah yeah but i was like oh no but oh yeah yeah she starts crying so fraser sees her and he's like are you okay she's like no i don't want to be in service right now i'm not i'm not gonna lie what's wrong i don't want to i don't want to talk about it in front of everyone don't worry Very fun, Fraser is here to solve all your problems.

22:50Ben Mandelker: Shall I put on a clown nose? That's fun, right? You want to laugh? If anybody needs emotional support, they come to me. Fraser, it's basically like talking to nobody. Please, emote things. And she's like, oh God, this is just so hard, you know. I'm trying to find my dynamic with Rainbow. Everything's just gone wrong. And he's like, I'm so sorry you're feeling this way. Are you feeling a bit like the message coming from Rainbow is a bit strong? I'm a virtual assistant. So please, just explain in your clearest words how I can help you. Let me pretend as if I will hear any sort of question that you have, but ultimately funnel you into one of two options that I'm given.

23:33Well, I guess patronizing is the word then. Patronizing, you know. And listen, I can take a direction from anybody. I love taking directions No you don't

23:44Ben Mandelker: Okay Billy Let me get you over to that person No Por favor Dame cinco minutos How did I get into Spanish then You want Spanish

24:02Ben Mandelker: Sorry you were saying something Like Rosa Like Rosa saying I can take direction from literally everyone It's how it's done. It's like, well, obviously you can't take direction from everyone because rainbows break you already. Well, the direction needs a bit of improvement and I can soften that as much as I can on my side of things. Now, listen here, Rosa. What is that dinging? Is that me? Is that you? It's my AirPods charging, I think. Listen to me, Rosa. You are stronger than you think. And I love you. And I'm here for you. And if you make a left one mile past the Marriott, you'll find a gorgeous breakfast section where you can enjoy breakfast with your family.

24:50And if you press five on your remote control, you can watch whatever new movies have been released.

24:59Ben Mandelker: Go through this stop sign and at the next light, make a left. You turn. You turn. You turn.

25:12So, they hug.

25:14Ben Mandelker: She's like, thank you. And he tells us, Rainbow is an incredible stewardess, is what I'm supposed to say. But she really lacks in the ability of communicating with people. I just have to manage everyone's feelings, and Rainbow may need speaking to you about how she delivers her tone. But she's good at her job, and we just need to work on that. And where there's a will, bitch? There's a goddamn way. Now, if you'd like to talk about your account, plus three. If you'd like to speak to someone in service, press zero. Calling attendant over. Calling attendant over. Something has not been put in the checkout area.

25:54It's time for a commercial. It's time for

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29:11growing feels like. And that's exactly what Grow Therapy is here for. Grow is therapy that works, covered by insurance. Sessions average$21 with insurance and some pay as little as$0, depending on their plan. There are no subscriptions, no long-term commitments. You just pay per session. Grow connects you with thousands of high-quality, licensed therapists across the U.S., offering both virtual and in-person sessions, nights and weekends. You can search by what matters, like insurance, specialty, identity, or availability. And you can book a therapy session in minutes and begin in as little as two days, not the national 48-day average.

29:50See if you could pay as little as$0 for therapy in seconds at growtherapy.com slash ACAST. That's growtherapy.com slash ACAST. growtherapy.com slash ACAST. Availability and coverage vary by state and insurance plan. So we go to the swim platform and Fraser comes out to check on everybody. And they're like, hey, we're really hungry. Could you bring us some chips and dips? Make it like a dip with something in it so it'll have a pattern to it. Okay? We're pattern people.

30:28Ben Mandelker: Yeah. And so Fraser's like, no, he's not going to give them chips and dip outside because they'll get gross in 40 seconds because it's so humid out there. And by the way, did I not just complain about this last week? I said, ugh, I hate when they go to Thailand on the show, because then everything's always about sweating and humid. Even the chips. By the way, even the chips get sweaty, but I did love this. And they're like, can we have some chips? And he's like, no. You can't. Fun Fraser has his limits. I'm sorry, I've been fun all day, and I'm on break. So no chips for you. There's no alternative.

31:00Just no. No chips for you. They'll get disgusting. Goodbye. He leaves.

31:06Ben Mandelker: I know. there's no one to take your call. Goodbye. Don't you hate when automated systems do that? They're just like, yeah, bye. Yeah. I'm like, why are you not serving them chips? Let them get humid. That's what they asked for. If they want some sweaty chips, that's up to them. And listen, even a wet chip is a good chip. They put chips on top of food now, remember? What did you just have encrusted with potato chips? And I thought, God, that's going to be soggy. And it was kind of, but it was still good.

31:43Ben Mandelker: Well, that I had encrusted with potato chips. Well, there was the breakfast sandwich that I almost got with tater tots on it, but then I got the no tater tots on it. Was that what you're thinking of? Is a tater tot a chip? I just rainbowed you. Hmm. I'm not familiar with that. Were you thinking about a potato chip with a tater tot? here are your tater tots um so he can i say something i thought you were god we've been together a lot i don't even know what you're ordering or what i'm just hearing from around us or whatever but i don't remember what i just ordered something encrusted in potato chips and oh my god that's lovely well i did see um ali's legal in new york times had a recipe for instead of a sloppy joe it's called a sloppy lenny because instead of ground meat she uses lentils and then she added Frito chips on top of it.

32:32Ben Mandelker: And so I just read that yesterday on the plane. So if you were watching me from your plane, then maybe that's what you saw. Well, I can't watch you on planes. I get boners. I'll be removed from the plane. I'll be like, what are you watching? This guy has been watching Ben Mandelker food videos again. Get him off the plane. So in Minnesota, I went out to dinner the night before our show with our friend Nikki. And so she called, she was on speaker and she called to make a reservation at this restaurant in town. And I was like, hello, welcome to Sazer Sazer Grill. And she's like, can we get a table for three, but can we make it inside?

33:10Ben Mandelker: And the lady was like, I'm not really sure I can speak to that right now, but I can check if you want. And she's like, well, okay. And I was like, in my mind, I was like, wow, this is so frosty. And then Nikki just turns to me and goes, fucking virtual assistant. And it turns out this was an AI assistant. I was with you. That wasn't with Nikki. That was when we were in the car with Amanda and stuck in traffic. And she's like, I want to take you to this restaurant. She calls it. And the accent was so, like, we didn't, we totally fell for it. Because she's like, hey there, welcome to Octavia 2. You know, what kind of table do you need?

33:42do you have any room inside and she's like i can't speak to that right now i'm a virtual assistant she's like okay well can i speak to a person she's like well you can if you'd like but you know i'm in a virtual assistant so if you'd like to ask me something god damn it and it was just like so homey and down to earth they're really they're really tricking me now but it was also

34:04Ben Mandelker: kind of like not i didn't find it to be warm it was like i can't speak to that right now and i'm I'm like, if you're going to make a robot hostess, at least add in, I'm so sorry. Unfortunately, I can't speak to that. But where was the floweriness of a hostess? I was really upset by that. That's true. But I did appreciate the accent of it. They're like, okay, you know what? Give us, I don't want any fakey, bakey, virtual assistant sound. Give me someone that sounds like her and make her sound like she's been working this phone for 30 years and she's pissed. She's pissed off about it. That robot was not happy.

34:47I'm sorry I raised you some memory.

34:48Ben Mandelker: I can't speak to how many people are inside right now. That was funny. Well, we all know that if it had been Minnesota. See, of course this was in Detroit where we got this one. Because if it had been in Minnesota, it would have been like, oh, well, you know, we do have some tables. But, you know, it's getting cold out. Isn't it crazy how cold it is? You know, two days ago it was 90 degrees and now it's, you know, 45. I was like, yeah, but can we get a table inside? I'll check. You know, it's so funny. Speaking of checks, my friend Richard, he just, you know what he did? He bought a new shirt that had all sorts of check marks on it.

35:20Ben Mandelker: I said, that's a fun pattern. He's like, but can you check on the table? Unfortunately, I can't. I'm actually just a robot. It's like, what? You're a robot after all that? That'd be like Minnesota AI. Hey, what, you'd like a table for two? I'll tell you what I'd like. Some warm weather and a hug. Okay, we'll see you in 10. What? Do you have a table? Do you have a table or not? Where is it? I can't answer that. I'll tell you what. I've got two very long sleeves because it is burrito outside. Do you have a table for four or not? Well, I'll tell you what I do have. I have some toffee. We have a great candy shop down the street.

36:02Ben Mandelker: I didn't ask about candy. Do we have a table? okay so matthew is talking to james uh some one of the other guys that works i don't know who they all are yet they're all still kind of blurring into me um and james is the tall mediocre guy oh right well i went with tall i don't know mediocre why is he mediocre his entire persona just seems very mediocre to me he just seems very very mediocre he is clearly a tall, privileged person who gets everything in life because he's tall. I'm telling you right now, he's very mediocre.

36:40My thing that I didn't love, like my first sign was maybe I don't like you, which I kind of assume I'm not going to like most of the guys on these shows. But when he was talking about his tattoos later and he's like, yeah, I really wanted to get a tattoo, but the pain is horrible. So I just got my entire back done in one day in Thailand. you know like he thought it was cool and so he could just take the pain for a day just to have the cool factor and i was like oh i don't know there was something heartbreaking and gross about

37:10Ben Mandelker: it at the same time yeah and i didn't like his tattoos i did not think that they were they were just sort of like it was like patchwork it was clip art i didn't like it um so uh james says alex has been a good bosun he's letting us do our thing and i like his managing style and Matthew is like, we're very easygoing. Also, the captain's wicked, eh? Right? I got unlucky with a couple of captains. 90 % of them don't like me. I'm like, so you got unlucky with the captains, or did they get unlucky with you? Yeah, we've had you on screen one episode in five minutes, and I can see where they're coming from.

37:48You're very arrogant, sir. And James is like, hmm, I wonder why. He's like, I don't like them either, so it's fine. When it comes to Alex's leadership style as a bosun, he's a little bit more chill, a little bit more laid back. And he second guesses himself a bit too much. And in order for us to fully trust and respect him, he really needs to prove himself. He needs to get down and dirty. I want to see him in this saving the lads' life. Clear the lads! Clear the lads! Jesus, man. Let the man throw a few lines.

38:17Ben Mandelker: Yeah, seriously, this guy would be a nightmare on the traitors. He'd be like Abby on the current traitors. He'd just be throwing out ideas, just insisting that he's right every single time. So now we go to Kaylee and Rosa. And Kaylee's like, so what happened before? Are you okay? Were you crying about love? Because love is great. Isn't love great? She's like, no, I just feel like we're being very patronized. We're being so patronized that we're actually being patronized. And it feels like Fraser's powers here are because he's Chief Stew. and then it should just be equally second and then equally third and then equally fourth.

38:53Ben Mandelker: And then I just feel like it's first and the second and there's third and there's fourth. And she's just really upset. Yeah, you're taking this way too seriously, ma 'am. And Kaylee's like, yeah, well, maybe sometimes people just need to learn how to communicate a little bit nicer. there. It's like 100%. 100%. I can no longer take the way I've been asked to put towels into the washing machine. It's like I birthed 10 children in one day. I birthed the entire cast of Annie. So now we're in the galley and Fraser is telling Mo to plan on Dinner for Nine because Captain Kerry's going to be there. And Mo's like, I'm not afraid of the captain's sitting down at the table.

39:43What do I care? Let me tell you a story about when I was two years old and had my first job working in a factory.

39:52Ben Mandelker: You know, he's been in this industry for a minute, so I think his words of wisdom go a long way. I think he's very straightforward. He's not going to bullshit you. He will tell you that everything's an adventure, though, and that's a little weird. Like the other day, he grabbed the ketchup out of the fridge and went, adventure! And I was like, I don't get it. But if you fuck up, he'll just tell you in a decent way. And at the end of the day, you know, I just got to put out the best food because you get nothing for nothing. And either you're going to ride with it or you're not. Thank you. Thank you for adding that in there.

40:19So then we go to the pantry and get the nothing for nothing. And Kaylee's talking to Rosa about Matthew. And she's like, oh, my God, I found out some tea. Apparently, Chef was saying that Matt says he fancies me. Oh, can you believe it? Can you believe it? I was just like, well, I hope it was said in a non-condescending way. So we go to Matthew and James on the deck and Matthew is like, yeah, that girl, you know, her vibe. What's her name? Katie? Caitlin? Daisy?

40:53Ben Mandelker: Danny? Claire Deans? Yeah, Claire Deans. Babka? Barbara? So we go back to Rosa and she's like, well, me and James were on a date last night. That was, oh, no, not on a date. Sorry. We were on late last night and that was really cute It was so cute And then we cut back to James And Matthew talking and James is like You know she's not single And they're Talking about Rainbow though this time And Matthew's like yeah but that doesn't Really mean anything bro So now we go back to the girls It's very like tell me more tell me more So Kaylee is like Talking about boys it's so fun I love talking about boys And love Yeah, this Below Deck in particular is the most obsessed with the people fucking on the bottom.

41:46And that was the last one. It was kind of like a Love Island version of Below Deck where it's like, oh my god, who's having sex with here? I mean, I like a little of that in Below Deck. It's classic Below Deck, but I don't like the whole thing being about that. But this one really leans into it. I don't care who the maids are fucking. I just don't. You know? Yeah.

42:07Ben Mandelker: so there's this concept I only just learned about called competency porn where like you're getting off by watching people being good at their jobs and I kind of feel like that's what blow deck that's when blow deck is at its best when people are being really good at their jobs and when people are doing badly you get all into a tizzy because they're like ruining the porn but regular blow deck has forgotten about the competency point and now it's just like it's not even porn it's just it's it's like delinquent porn or something i don't know like people ineptitude porn or i don't know it's like it's lost its way a little bit i feel like this season is already better than last season so far because last season i thought was a total disaster right out the gate but um and they are veering back into the does he like me i like him who do you like who do you like oh wait you want to go on a date later let's go on a date i'm like oh my goodness please stop yeah i just there's enough shows that are all about like oh my god am i worth anything does a man like me or like am i worth anything can i bang half the girls on this boat you know or whatever on this island and i come to below deck to criticize how people are cleaning a toilet that's it i don't need all of this other shit we come to this place for the criticisms of the toilet.

43:29Ben Mandelker: I wish I knew the rest of that monologue. I'm a bad gay. What is it from? We come to this place. It's Nicole Kidman at AMC Theatres. We come to this place. We come to this place to laugh, to cry for the experience of life. You would think we'd know it by now. It's been running in front of every movie for a long time. I just, you know, I can't remember. I'm really bad with the quotes and lyrics in case anyone hasn't noticed over the past 15 years of this show. Yeah, neither one of us are great at that. That's why we love karaoke. It's like reading a book for the first time. I'm like, oh my gosh, wow.

44:11This song is beautiful. Something just started playing. I'm all over the place today. Sorry. So, okay. So, Kaylee's talking about boys. And so now everybody's gossiping about each other, and the guests are still sitting there wondering why they didn't get chips. What part of no didn't you understand? He said it pretty loudly when you asked for chips. He said no, and then walked away. And they're like, wow, it's been an hour since we asked for the chips. He said no, because they're going to get disgusting, I thought.

44:43Ben Mandelker: No, I thought he told one of the stews, like, I know they asked for chips, but we're not going to bring them to Kia. But why didn't they, like, encourage them to go? You know what? I don't even know. All I know is that they want chips and they're not getting chips. And everyone else is on this boat and sitting around gossiping about who they like. And the guests, even though they're stupid and they have patterns on that are matching, they deserve their chips. They deserve their chips. I agree with you. At least give them those little 100-calorie packs like they give you on a plane, you know, so you can control your own goldfish, you know, humidity.

45:15That's right.

45:15Ben Mandelker: You know that Delta stopped carrying that amazing chip mix that they had that was like Doritos and Sun Chips? It was like the Avengers of chips that they used to have in a little bag, and they stopped carrying them. The Fraser probably came on and was like, hmm, what do we have here? What are we serving? Doritos, Mixtures, Sun Chips. No, absolutely not. I know. or at the very least they got rid of their sun chips and that's also really bad i was like i need the sun chips i mean what are you doing to me delta i need the sun chips yeah but this stuff remains it's so there you go yeah but now we go it's just it doesn't hit the same it doesn't scratch the same thing as the sun chip i'm sorry yeah we'll move forward uh premium pringles $10 thing of Pringles.

46:10Okay, so dinner table. The guests give Captain Kerry his own tacky Kenny Flowers t-shirt, or not t-shirt, patterned shirt. And I was surprised that he put it on. I would have said, sorry, can't do that. Oh, I've got to always be in my captain. My captain.

46:28Ben Mandelker: Uniform. I knew he was going to put it on because he walked out there in his uniform, which meant he was in a blazer and a shirt, and it was 110 degrees out there. and I was like, this man is going to die. So as soon as they said, you can put on a patterned shirt, he was like, I'm out of here. I'm putting on this thing. Yeah, they're lucky it wasn't Jason. He would have been like, I'll wear a kimono. None of you mind. Could you put your nut sack away while we're trying to have our dinner, please?

46:57Ben Mandelker: So dinner is served. Mo seems to be doing a good job, but I did have to say that burrata salad had a lot of burrata on it. Was that crazy? that seemed like a lot that was like i felt like that was like a share size that they all got was that just me is that a bad thing i mean it's one big giant ball they each got their own giant ball of burrata um but i thought it was funny that they're like oh my god this burrata is stunning they loved it yes burrata yeah i'm kind of university package burrata yeah uh well for My first impression of Mo, he's knocked it out of the park. It was on time. It was hot.

47:39It was tasty. And that was just my Tinder profile, eh? Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Ha, ha, ha.

47:47Ben Mandelker: Now, here's my second impression of Mo. Hello, I'm Mo. I'm from New York City.

47:57Fraser is talking to Rainbow in the pantry. He's like, oh, hello. All right. Rainbow. Now, I was explaining to Kayleigh earlier to just have a little bit of sense of urgency. Listen, we've got sensitive girls on board, by the way, and I've noticed their responses to how they are with you. Listen, you just need to be a little calmer, a little sweeter with our words and our requests. We had a cry today, is what I'm saying. You've already broken one of them. All right, get it together. She's like, what? Who was it, Rosa? It's like, specifically, specifically, it was Rosa.

48:30Ben Mandelker: Yes. I just wanted to make sure they're okay We're on day one So Rainbow You're supposed to go to your boss So that they can handle this for you In a nicer way Brace is like, you've made one cry already Alright, you've made this girl Feel like she's going through childbirth So please, anything you could do To minimize The damage So Rainbow tells us, I just don't have time for girls to be talking shit behind my back. Please just say it to my face, because we're here to work as a team, not to take care of you and your sensitive English girl feelings. Rainbow, you're not allowed to have that monologue.

49:14Ben Mandelker: I'm going to say that right now. We watched you hyperventilate and nearly pass out when someone told you to vacuum last year. Okay? You've already sat down on the floor of your room and stared at yourself in the mirror and took deep breaths to calm yourself because Fraser told you to put a fork in a drawer. So you don't get to tell someone. In episode one, you were on the floor rocking back and forth crying, okay? You don't get to say somebody else has sensitive English girl feelings. Also, if she had come to you and said, I feel like you're being a little patronizing, she would have been like, ah, how dare she talk to me like that?

49:53So I think Rosa ultimately did the right thing. I mean, I think she's being ridiculous, and I'm not on her side with what she's upset about or why she's upset, but she did the right thing by going to Fraser, and Fraser did the wrong thing by being like, you made her cry, she's already sobbing, Rainbow.

50:09Ben Mandelker: would you like to hear your account balance but you're right i mean i i think even to be fair rosa even did tell rainbow last night please have more faith in me like you know that is kind of her saying her piece there and then also she didn't go and seek out fraser fraser found her while she was crying in the pantry and she told him but like ultimately it's fraser should have said look just be you know not everyone here is Celine you can be friendly yeah so then we go to after dinner they're doing the Azul 5 cabaret talent show great and it's a rough one by the way first there's some weird gymnastics and then Rainbow comes out and yodels but like this is not proficient yodeling.

51:09Ben Mandelker: Like, no. Believe it or not, this is going to sound crazy, but about two weeks ago, I listened to professional yodeling.

51:21Ben Mandelker: I was playing a board game that was like German themed, and I put on like Oktoberfest music, and there was like a track where there was a lady going, oh, yeah, yeah. There really is an art to it, and Rainbow does not have it. Yeah, yodeling is a yodeling is a thing. I think people work very hard at. Yeah. And Rainbow was just like, yodel, yodel, yodel, yodel. I was like, no, stop. It's bad enough having to watch all my waiters perform, but at least try something that I can judge. Was this like Dutch? Maybe this is like Dutch yodeling. Maybe this is like a traditional Dutch yodel, but no. No. Mo says it best.

52:05He's like, yeah, I've never heard yodeling before. I don't want to ever hear it again. That was enough. That was pretty bad.

52:17Matthew's talent is feeding a condom through his nose to his mouth. So he sucks up a condom with his nose and yanks it out of his throat.

52:28Ben Mandelker: Why a condom? I know people do this with spaghetti. It's gross enough with spaghetti. But why the condom? Just do spaghetti, sir. And how do you find that out? Like, how do you find out that you can do that with a condom? There are so many questions. I love our note taker who said, Fraser says, Matthew will be feeding a condom through his nose to his mouth. And then our note taker says, Matthew does exactly that. She's like, why are you guys making me watch this? Well, the winner of this is Matthew and his condom. Everybody is standing ovation. You're welcome. Luxury yacht. You get to see one of the employees suck a condom and get it out of their throat with their fingers.

53:18They're like, wow, yeah, that was really good. So then in the crew mess, Alex is telling Matthew that, you know, it'll just be himself and Sen, jesenia for those of you who don't remember she doesn't want to be just a jess you guys she's a sen on the anchors tomorrow so she can learn the process

53:40Ben Mandelker: yeah or she likes to call them because um so she will be learning uh and then alex is telling sen he's like you're absolutely smashing it by the way she's like i'm trying to i don't know a lot But I can work hard Because I'm one of the guys He's like, well, keep a smile on your face It's perfect Rainbow is telling Grosso what needs to be done For the late shift She's like, okay, so here's how it goes In the daytime It's brighter in here Because there's something called the sun That's what's in the sky When that goes down, it gets dark like it is now So this is called night You're on night She's like, oh my god The disrespect back did i by the way did i do something to piss you off today did your thin skin get get cracked by my normal wording of things are you just too big a pussy to come talk to me about anything to be honest i felt quite patronized you know and that's why i said to you the other night please have more faith in me you know i'm here to work well help you help everyone else in this crew here's what I need from you.

54:54Think of me as George Michael standing here. You've got to have faith. Faith, faith. You've got to have faith. Thank you.

55:02Ben Mandelker: I'm sorry, I don't know who that is. I only listen to yodeling. But, you know, I was in a horrible situation last season with the other stewardess on late, and I just, I went PTSD straight back there. And I'm really sorry. She's like, oh, trust, trust, I get it. thank you babe for a nice honest open conversation and now Rosa's fine because it really was just that Rosa wanted to be like seen and heard and respected and so like Rosa's like cool now she's like I'm feeling so much better and if she knows that she can trust me if she knows that I know what I'm doing then she will hopefully just relax everything is great with me and Rainbow for the next 25 minutes of air time so everybody goes to bed and rosa is talking to james because they're up late together and um they're making small talk about how is it to meet everybody you know how have you been liking everybody and she's like i mean when we actually saw each other it was like electric and he's like yes um yes you were a good first person to speak to i that you're right it's like electric i'm telling you wasn't it i still feel it coursing through my body just crazy like i've been plugged in steams about to come out of me you put me over a shirt the the electric is what i'm trying to say it's like yes it's been lovely to meet you just yes i mean when i when i saw you i thought that's a lady with two arms and two legs and it was nice having a conversation with her oh yes the sparks It's like, are you excited to go out tomorrow?

56:43Electricity! And he's like, yes, I'm so excited to be with everyone. Everyone, you know, not in a professional environment, just relaxed. This is keeping me entertained. You know, I like it when you're around. You're very entertaining. Very entertaining.

57:01Ben Mandelker: So she says, James, it's definitely nice when I see his face. And he says, yeah, there's definitely chemistry between me and Rosa. It's like when you put two batteries into a remote and it's like, ooh, the remote works. And you're on with your life. Electricity. I guess that counts as electricity, but you don't think that much about it because it just sort of happens. Portable electricity. But if you were to touch the battery, you wouldn't get shocked. So there's technically electricity, and yet it's not dangerous or exciting electricity. Do you know what I'm saying? Still electricity So now it's the final day of charter 6.30 in the morning Carrie's telling Alex to stop pulling in the equipment The equipment's still out We need to get the anchors done The first docking of the season can be challenging To dock the boat We've got a new crew We've got a boat that needs a little bit of love We've got a 4 metre tide change The currents are so strong There's whirlpools We could be going out into this water and being sunk down under any moment.

58:11Ben Mandelker: We could die. And as long as that anchor ball is not on the side of the boat, everything will be fine. So 30 minutes to departure, and it's just Alex and Sen, and they're pulling in the inflatables. It seems a little weird that there's only two people on deck for a getting ready to pull up the anchor and then go kind of mope. I feel like every episode of all the other ones, there's like five people doing this stuff. But it's just Alex and Sen. And Kerry's like, if we don't get going soon, the tide's going to fuck me up when we dock. And in fact, we won't be able to dock. Some guy won't be able to catch a rope.

58:50Ben Mandelker: And then he'll be late to get back to his missus. He'll crash his car. The car will catch on fire. There'll be a giant, giant fire in Phuket. So much smoke. Planes can't fly overboard, so a plane will be rerouted. We'll crash into the sun. Planes can get so confused, they'll fly into outer space, a crash into the sun. The sun will crash into the earth. And guess what? Humanity, as we know it, will be gone. Okay, that was dramatic. They're pulling in water twice. Okay, let's relax. So then we see the real disaster looming. It's Kaylee. She is trying to make juice for the guests. Now, to be fair, every single one of the guests asks for green juice.

59:33And that's not the easiest thing to make. It's not the quickest juice to make. It's not an orange. We're just like, you know. Yeah. How do you make it? Tell us. I had a juicer for a moment. I went through that phase. And green juices, there's just not as much juice in the green things. Like you put the celery in or the kale. God forbid kale you know you put the vegetables in but it's not like a big juicy thing that's like a whole ball of juice they're like a little you know uh what do you cruciferous things they're like no you put them through they're like no we're not made to be juiced I'm gonna have something green god damn it yeah I read it in a diet book the vegetables are like this isn't how to do it

1:00:23Ben Mandelker: I never, I didn't think about it one way or another, but it seems like she doesn't know how to even use the machine. And that's, that's the problem as well. I agree. They did ask for many green juices. That does seem like it takes time, but they could do that at Jamba. I'm sure they could. If you go to Jamba and say, we need eight green juices, they could do it. yeah i'm sure you know it's not that it's hard it's just that it takes more time to get all the stuff through there especially this one where you're like pushing it down you know it's not like one of those big industrial machines anyway nobody needs us talking about juicing for an hour um so she's trying it she's failing and she's like oh my god for fuck's sake i have no idea what i'm doing i'm a massive people pleaser what if people aren't pleased with my juices please there had let me tell you a person who says they're an enormous people pleaser generally does not please many people she said it every time she's on screen she's like oh i'm a people pleaser i'm like you have been fired from a lot of jobs i can tell yeah because if you're pleasing people you don't even have to say it because you've already pleased them like the only reason why you're ever announcing that you're a people pleaser is because someone's asked you why didn't you do that?

1:01:33Ben Mandelker: Or why were you so slow? Or what was wrong with that? But if you're doing your job great, no one's going to check in to be like, why were you so good at your job right now? Because I'm a people pleaser. It's like when people say, I'm a good person. I'm a good person. Usually you're not, and you're being confronted for something you did that was bad. You know? She's a bad person. She is a bad juicer, though. Commercials. Here comes one right now. He lurks in shadow. He slips into dreams. He casts no reflection. Audible presents Bram Stoker's Dracula, a full cast audio thriller starring Ella Purnell from Fallout as Mina Harker, Jonathan Bailey from Wicked as Dracula, and an A-list cast including Maggie Gyllenhaal, The Dark Knight as Van Helsing, Amy Lou Wood from The White Lotus as Lucy, David Johnson from Industry as Dr.

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1:04:16So, Fraser checks on the guests, and they're still waiting for their juices. And he's like, Kayleigh, Kayleigh, please get a juice ready, please. I do not have time to go squeeze Rose's face until tears come out. Please.

1:04:31Ben Mandelker: And the guests have nothing, and they're not bringing out any beverages. Like, at least bring them some coffees or some waters or something. But those guests are waiting 40 minutes for juices. so then on the deck meanwhile things are going bad there so Sen is she's in she's in that like she's in a hole basically it's the same hole that they store garbage in and she has the pole that she has to use to flake the anchor chain but she explains this really awful situation which is that there's not a lot of room down there and because they're putting garbage in there whenever she moves the stick the stick is big it juts into the garbage and she can't really move it right and if she does it wrong she could lose an arm pretty intense she also she's like standing in a trash hole yeah yeah it's just me one of the guys standing in a trash hole trying to get a stick around here and it's like the stick down there's like i can't it's like there's trash like could you move the trash a little bit and meanwhile carrie's like what is happening Pay attention to the chain.

1:05:41Whirlpool coming. Whirlpool coming. They're like, oh, my God, I can't do it. I can't do it. I'm at the trash anchor. We're all going to die because of the trash.

1:05:51Ben Mandelker: Totally balls up. Total clusterfuck. The tide is moving. I'm getting pushed around, and I'm getting told nothing. I'm pretty pissed off. It's unacceptable. And here comes a whirlpool. So Kerry goes outside. It did remind me of the Odyssey where they're all on the boat, and they're like, do we go through around the whirlpool to this side or around the whirlpool to that side? Either way, you're either going to lose everybody or two people, whatever the thing was. And the show makes everything so dramatic. They're like, oh my god, we'll pull ahead, we're all going to die! And then we see it, and it's just the book going really slowly, getting ready to come into the dark.

1:06:29Ben Mandelker: Yeah. Sikara's like, alright, what's going on down here? They're like, well, for some reason and the chain will come up. He's like, oh, the brakes on. He's like, I took the brakes off. He's like, you took it off the left side, right? It's like, yeah, but what about the right side and left? But brakes were on, guys. The guy did not take the brakes off. He took brakes off one side and not the other. Yeah. Right? Yep, that's exactly right. He's like, you got to do both of them. This is tits up, balls up. Very rookie mistake. If you can't get this right, what other things do I have to be checking?

1:07:01This is fucking bullshit. And when you wake up on an island with your men stuck with Sissy and you're wondering why everyone around you is an animal, don't come complaining to me.

1:07:13Ben Mandelker: And then he's like, then he gets back up in the wheelhouse. He's like, oh, good God, bullshit, bull crap. The anchor ball's still up, which we don't really know what the anchor ball is. But what we have learned is that the anchor ball signals to other boats that the boat is anchored. so if you're moving and the ball is up it's very confusing and um so carrie is losing his mind the anchor ball someone take the anchor ball off i see the anchor ball take the anchor ball it's sort of a funny thing it's like of how high tech this yacht is and it's like the way you say that you're yeah that you're your anchor did you put a little ball up yeah i got my ball up i'm gonna say put here follows that uh fraser is chatting with rosa about how everything's been and she's chatted with What's Your Buns Rainbow and everything's fine now.

1:08:03And meanwhile, I mean, after that, Sen, rather, comes to Carrie and she's like, Captain, it's just kind of a learning curve, so I apologize for the delay. I was in a trash hole, basically. I'll twerk for you. I can't twerk. One thing I can do is white girl twerk.

1:08:28Ben Mandelker: Well, you know what? It's your first time down there. You did a great job. And we're going to get to a system up there so it works better. And just remember, the anchor ball is at the bow of the bow. Little joke there for you. Anchor ball at the bow. She's like, got it. But then we cut to Alex and Terry's like, nah, being nice. And he's like, so what was going on up there? Did you know the anchor ball was on the bow? He's like, well, I thought it would be an easier pull. And I just, I need to make sure that I probably have Matt or someone who's more experienced with me doing that. He's like, yeah, I really don't want to see that again, because you know what?

1:09:00Ben Mandelker: I'm going to have nightmares. That anchor ball on the bow. Yeah. And he's like, well, yeah, I mean, I can all do better next time. He's like, well, what happens is I miss a step. And if I miss a step, we could all die. So listen, I need someone on deck that can take care of all this. Are you Matt Damon or are you one of the thousand people that died? Which one are you? I don't know. Oh, it was an easy answer. You couldn't even answer that. So in the pantry, the guests are sitting for breakfast and Fraser is like, they're eating, they're all eating off the chargers. And Fraser goes up to Kaylee and he's like, okay, Kaylee, fun Fraser here.

1:09:46Ben Mandelker: So for future reference, the chargers are not actually plates. She's like, but they look like plates No, but they hold plates They're plates that hold plates So the charger, so we serve them food on chargers But then what do we charge our phones? No, don't Okay, start plugging your phone into the plates You're all confused now Start from scratch I'm just a people pleaser So we go to the bridge And Carrie brings the deck team up And he's like, here's what we're gonna do We're gonna talk about talking all right get in here everybody oh no oh geez oh gosh all right probably time to get some of the interior staff to help we don't have enough people out there and alex is like well jacking is a or docking rather is a pretty big part of my job i can't really fuck this one up i need this to go perfectly is this gonna go perfectly so then like they all they're all like lining up they got the fenders out there rose is out there kaylee's out there like rosa kaylee kaylee i'm sorry we need to dangle a fender you've dangled a charger out there it's not going to be very helpful i'm so confused about what's what and rose is like i can do this because i'm a girl's girl but i'm also kind of like a guy because i've got brothers they're like okay we're gonna do this everybody so everything's fine they dock smoothly it's all it's all great so then we go to the sky lounge and it's time to depart and freezer is complaining about heat of course but you know it's going to be a long season of that and um then and they're docking and saying goodbye to everybody and carrie's like well matt and alex both have different strengths all i can see a power struggle here and the personality type is to really prove himself this one this which one is it matthew it's matthew right which one's the asshole alex right you been help me out here Matt is the asshole Alex is the passive one He's trying to take over I can see exactly what he's doing He's not in charge, you gotta dip this in the bud And an example of this Is that they're bringing the luggage out And they're like, wait a second It looks like they came on with more And they're leaving with Like something's missing And it turns out there was an entire cabin of luggage that they missed And I guess Matt's kind of like, well I'll do this, I'll do this, I'll do that And they're like, no It's like a little bit of a squabble for powers.

1:12:12Ben Mandelker: And Carrie's watching like, look at him. Look at him. Drawing to you old. So the staff lines up and the guests say goodbye. And then Kenny and Christina are there. And Kenny is like, I have to say, I have never had more fun burying my chest hair and showing off my golden pendant to a bunch of strangers than I have had the past few days with you guys. Thank you so much for letting me do that. Christina is like, yeah, guys. I just want to say you guys bring such great energy to your job. And let me just say, you can totally tell that none of you have ever worked together before. That said, the food was good.

1:12:55Wow. That ball of burrata. And they're like, Whoa, like it didn't sound like she was saying anything critical at all. But then they let the word sink in and they're like, God damn.

1:13:07Ben Mandelker: Yeah. Like, well next time we'll put we'll sneak a peanut into your burrata um so but then we do see a collection of all their little snafus in service etc and um just like okay that came out of left field for us she's not wrong left field um what's a shady bitch what's a shady bitch so now everybody is changing uh and it's time to cling get cling get meeting all that good stuff and then uh we find out about James and his mysterious tattoos, which we mentioned a little earlier. So he's asked about his tattoos and if it's a tie, if it's bamboo, sorry, he's asked about his tattoos and he's like, is that bamboo?

1:13:55And he's like, it's Thai bamboo. And then we find out the story of his tats. He's been to Thailand guys a lot, backpacking, potting. He used to have a Thai girlfriend and he's got a lot of ties to thailand and he went to thailand he got his whole back done and it's local thai bamboo because he's an adrenaline addict so it was a test to see if he could get through it could i get through this back tattoo and he did it it's a thrilling story

1:14:25Ben Mandelker: for all of us and i'm like you should submit that to the moth so um now it's time for the tip meeting. Good day, everyone. What a great first charter. I really believe the hottest job on this boat is the chef. So, absolutely outstanding, mate. Interior, really good job. Deck team, you fucking suck. We almost all died. That whirlpool was staring right down at us. Could be better. So, anyway, they get a tip for$25 ,000 and they all cheer. But it's funny because on Below Deck Med, the tips were really high this season. Everything was in the 30s. So, I don't know. I was like, this is kind of a shitty tip, personally.

1:14:59Ben Mandelker: But Matthew is very happy. Two grand each. They got two grand each for two days. I mean, that's pretty good. Yeah, but I'm just saying, you know, inflation. I feel like Kenny Clarence has done better. They kept his wife alive. That's how much DoorDash costs. So Matthew's, you know, they're talking about how happy they are with tips. And we find out from Matthew that he really needs the money because last year he lost$80 ,000 trading cryptocurrency. years. Oh gosh. Saw that one coming. He's like, I was so flipping upset and depressed. I think I smoked weed for like two weeks just to distract myself and I'm pretty bad at managing money.

1:15:43Ben Mandelker: Okay, great. So then Kerry is like, everyone, we're going to do something really exciting today. We're going to go to a Buddhist temple and we're going to do some prayers to give us good luck for the rest of the season. It's already gotten that bad for us. So Kerry says, I love bonding with the crew. A lot of time in yachting, you see the whole world through a porthole. And then they actually show a porthole, which I thought was funny. They're like, in case you don't understand what he's talking about, here's a porthole. So, actually, oh, I see what he's saying. You're literally singing through a porthole.

1:16:18Then he has Alex up for a meeting. He's like, you are like the most vital crew member to me. And you're fucked up. You're fucked up. Alright? I need better communication. Better communication. There's no excuse for that. And I don't want to see it again. And also, this Matt has a lot of confidence. All right? You better watch him. He's going to usurp you. You heard the word. He's like, he's going to take your power. All right? Oh, I've seen it coming. These little rugrats come up here. Next thing you know, they'll be captain. Nip it in the bud. Behead him. Behead him before it goes any further.

1:16:52He's like, oh, well, I mean, I don't really have any problem with people taking control. They're not, God damn it. You listen to me. you control it or you lose the game. Do you understand me? He's like, okay, I'll figure out how to talk to him.

1:17:09Ben Mandelker: It's funny. I feel like we've never seen someone get that talk before on this show because it happens all the time. It's like the number two who is overambitious and is trying to take control. I mean, we just saw it on Below Dyke Med. And it's funny that Kerry is like, yeah, it's okay to have initiative, but you've got to control it. It's like, harness it into something that's useful. he's like because otherwise he's going to undermine you and it's going to be a shit show so now they go to the temple yep they go to a temple and they're in the van and well they get to this place and a lady named Mama Ying greets them and she's great I hope she's on every episode I hope every time that they that they have like a night off Mama Ying joins them because Mo is like I don't want to walk up that staircase and she's like if Mama Ying can do it you can do it

1:17:55So they check out the Buddhist temple, and it's gorgeous. And Mama Ying talks about the temple and gives them the history of it. And then they go have dinner, and Captain Carrie leaves. And Rainbow is sitting next to James, who Rosa likes. And she thinks that Rainbow is being flirty, but I think – I mean, I know I'm sticking up for Rainbow a lot today. but I feel like she's just talking how she talks to everybody. She's like, yeah, so we're at dinner. Yeah. Isn't this so fun? I love having dinner. That's after lunch for most people in most cultures. Lunch is had normally earlier in the day. He's like, Rose is like, she's trying to steal my man right in front of my face.

1:18:41Ben Mandelker: Yeah. I mean, I didn't, I did not feel like it looked that flirty, but also like, cause I also just don't know if rainbow is capable of interfacing with humans in a way that like elicits emotional reactions of anything but um but rosa was picking up on something i think rosa was just kind of like i think whether it was flirting or not what rosa was thinking is i like this guy and i want him to talk to me and he's not talking to me because rainbow is like talking in his ear so his attention is on her and i want it on me and but then rainbow says i'm a big flirt i love flirting with people and i love it when people flirt with me like here This is one of my favorite lines I like to say to guys.

1:19:21Ben Mandelker: Okay, hold on.

1:19:27I love my boyfriend. And my boyfriend loves me. But you know what? We've been together for a couple of months. And it's not like I've gone blind and mute since I have a boyfriend. I mean, I can look. I just can't touch. Okay? Okay, guys? It's me, Flirty Rainbow. Fun, effervescent rainbow.

1:19:46Ben Mandelker: and then meanwhile matthew's talking to kaylee and saying that um he fancies her it's like i just think that you're cool she's like oh my god you haven't even talked to me i love love he's like no that's bullshit no to be honest we're really busy and but when i get a chance i'll come speak to you she's like really is that the reason why you came and got your epaulets done because he guess i guess he wanted them ironed or something and it's an excuse to talk to her he's like yeah i just saw you and i thought perfect opportunity there's no one else to do it she's Marry me. What was that? I mean, I loved ironing them.

1:20:20Listen here, Linda. I'm not sure that we're at that place yet. It's like, I just ironed your apple, lads. So then at the other end of the table, now Mo is asking Alex who he's into. Mo just wants to know who everybody's going to fuck at all times. So Alex says that he doesn't know. And he's like, well, you better go after your deckhand. She's pretty hot. Oh, my God. She is fucking hot. This is me, Fraser, talking. Just coursing through her. She's very hot. Please do it. And he's like, well, you know what? I'm her fucking boss. So, I mean, I guess we'll see what happens. There's still plenty of time, right?

1:20:56I've never dated a subordinate before. Gosh, also really wasn't great with that stick in the trash. I don't know what to do. They're telling me I should like her. Maybe I do.

1:21:08Ben Mandelker: You know, I'm going to say not a good idea. so then they go out afterwards and Sen is talking with Rainbow and saying that she likes Alex and he's been flirty but you know he's my boss so I don't know I don't want to go there and everyone's like fuck it fuck it fuck it she's like I mean I'm not going to be lead deckhand anyway but I'm like why are you all encouraging this this is such a bad idea that's the boss like he should not he should definitely not be flirting with her as the boss but you know idiots are gonna be below deck hr yeah you know what could go wrong it's non-existent uh so then we they go out they go out to like the party area and it's crazy that it looks so fun i don't want to do it i know i i went to kate but i did not go to this section i was like whoa this is crazy i completely did not see this part of the peninsula and now i want i also was like i desperately want thai food i was watching them sitting there eating that food was arriving and i was like it looks so good i want to go back yeah so we this was a real cat you know i don't like the heat yeah i'll cry even though i live in texas uh but i'm inside i mean texas is very hot but we also have really good air conditioning.

1:22:34So I don't think I'm the one. So then Rainbow's telling us about the places we see it on screen, and it's gorgeous. She's like, there's people everywhere. There's ping pong shows. There's half-naked women. You're ping pong shows. There's a place you wake up next morning with a new face tattoo and three missing teeth, and then you're like, oh, what the fuck? So I'm here for it. I'm here for it.

1:23:00Ben Mandelker: and then as they're all walking as a group Matthew and Kaylee just like make out and everyone's like everyone's cheering and Mo's like I love hooking people up especially if they're young have some fun taste something taste something new try something new like why not sure so then Rainbow is acting like he's 90 years old he's not really that old is he doesn't look like he's old he's like he's the old man on the boat These young people really need to get together. He's just way too invested. So then in the bathroom, Rainbow's asking Rosa about James, and Rosa's like, yeah, there's definitely a vibe there for me, like 100%.

1:23:42Ben Mandelker: I'm definitely into him. So thank you for coming to me and pretty much announcing you won't talk to him for the rest of the night, so that way I can flirt with him. Thank you so much. You guys, this is going to shock you. at the bar, Sen wants to have a twerk competition.

1:24:02Didn't see that one coming. So now she's talking to Rosa, and she's like, Rosa's like, well, you know, I just don't like that Rainbow's flirting with the guys. You know, it's all these little comments she makes. Did you hear her say, isn't this food delicious? Oh, I mean...

1:24:20Ben Mandelker: It was out of control. But, you know, Like you know she really doesn't like her because she goes You do you hun but you have a boyfriend I feel like anytime a British woman says hun It's like It's basically the worst thing you can say About someone else that means you're really bad It's not good Give me cock block You know she doesn't come to speak to me About me liking James And then go flirt with him literally in front of me I mean that's bizarre give it a rest Love Almost as bad as hun So then Sen is talking to Fraser about James and Alex and how they're both really attractive and she goes, but Alex Alex is my bosun though, and Fraser goes, I don't know I wouldn't necessarily rule that out I'm like, you're a head of department, what are you talking about, Fraser?

1:25:14Ben Mandelker: Why are you encouraging this? And then Kaylee is talking to Matthew who she's just made out with and she's like, oh my god what are you sick of me already? Probably Absolutely. I'm just kidding. We're going to be in love. We're going to get married. I love you. I mean, I really do love you. I mean, I don't love you, love you. I mean, I do love you. I'm the people person. Do you love me back? Do you love me back? I mean, that's not love, love. It's just like a different, what do you think? Do you love me back? it's like you're in love with me in three days i would think i'm like superman or something oh my god you're superman i knew it are you seeing me naked oh my god can you see through things this is amazing let's fly can you fly me somewhere i'll be margot kidder so then james is uh saying uh he's talking to fraser and he's like seven times i've been here and i've been tall each time and i'm just bringing back a lot of memories like getting a tattoo of bamboo on my back I used to live right around the corner from here I would go scuba diving during the day I would party at night It's almost making me emotional Except that I mean I don't have those But I'm thinking about my younger youth Do you know what I mean?

1:26:15And Fraser's like Mm-hmm Yes Well This has been fun So Kaylee's like Fraser, can I have the domestic guest room Because I want to hook up with Matthew

1:26:28Ben Mandelker: He's like No, fun Fraser's out for the night So you can have a different room, but not that one. You can have the VIP. So they go back to the boat. They all get into Tuk Tuk's. They all have a great time in the Tuk Tuk's. They're having fun. The music is playing. And everyone's having a great time. Except for Rosa and James. Rosa finally has James alone. And they're in the Tuk Tuk. And it is silent. And maybe he is lost in his emotions, reflecting on his youth in Phuket. Or maybe it's just that he actually is not interested in Rosa. And his flirt battery finally died. Or he's just not that interesting, you know, because he's just sitting there smiling, like looking out at things.

1:27:07And some people are just like that, you know, but she's like, oh, God, where's the electricity? Meanwhile, Alex kisses Sen because everybody's really chalked them into it. And then outside of the tuk-tuk, Sen is telling Rainbow and Fraser that Alex kissed her. And she's like, but he's my boss. I mean, come on. Yes, that's true, but it's the deck of below deck. It'll be fine, I think. So Fraser's like, well, I'm my own boss, and I'd make out with myself any day of the week. Don't worry about it.

1:27:46Ben Mandelker: And then they get back to the boat, and Fraser's like, so, Rosa, what happened between you and James? She's like, nothing. Love is a minefield, but the vibes are there. like the vibes were 100 % not there you two you were staring forward in your tuk-tuk saying nothing that is not a vibe yeah and then um he just goes to bed and she's like i've wasted so much of my time and energy it's day three you guys calm down i really feel like they're pressured on this show it's like you have to hook up with somebody or you're out you're gonna be voted out yeah um so she's annoyed and um rainbow's talking to sen and she's like oh my god sen alex fucks with you heavy he was like at the end of the day you get nothing for nothing and i'm still her boss and he's like not gonna push it at all so you have to make the move and she's like oh good i like that i like having the power i'm just one of the guys now so kaylee and matthew go to a guest room and hook up.

1:28:49And then San checks on Rosa, and she's upset about James. And she's like, I really, you know, I really like him, but I'm not the kind of person that's going to chase after someone. You know, I just think he's been very, very unclear with me. I think someone sitting next to you and not really, I don't know, I don't I don't know. Rosa. Yeah.

1:29:14Rosa's

1:29:14Ben Mandelker: going to be a gift to this season, I think. She's going to be great. And then Kaylee and Matthew go into the guest room. And she's like, oh my God, I think we're going to be fine. I think we'll just be exclusive for the next six weeks. And he's like, don't get ahead of yourself. She's like, no, of course not. Of course not. We'll be exclusive and probably engaged. There we go. That's a little bit more accurate. He's like, it's fucking nuts to say that. I mean, I just came out of a breakup with cryptocurrency specifically. And I'm definitely not ready to be in a relationship. But I have that effect on women.

1:29:46Ben Mandelker: He's like, ah, don't say those things. Oh, no, I have that effect. I mean, I'll still have sex with you, but please don't say those. Don't get attached. Well, that's the thing. He's telling us that, but not her. You know? Yeah. He's not going to tell her that until they hook up and she's wanting more. And then he's going to be like, well, they're just going to end up a breakup. We see it every season on this show. Every time. And that's where it ends. Oh, gosh. Well, here we go. fun times and below deck thanks everyone for being here uh go check out uh go check out our website to get tickets to our live shows coming to a city near you and check out our youtube where you can watch what's your order and see the latest episode which is really fun or just subscribe to our podcast old-fashioned style and we will talk to you next time bye bye watch what crappens would like to thank its premium sponsors ain't no thing like alison king Our way is the Amber way.

1:30:44Ben Mandelker: It's the Foster and the Furious. It's Amanda Foster. It's Always Automatic with Ashley Otto. Put your hands together for Carly Clapp. Get on the right foot with Chrissy Offord. She's not just a Sheila, she's a Daniela. Itchles! We never miss her call, it's Diane Call. Big yay, it's Emily Gauthier. Erin McNicholas, she don't miss no trick-a-less. Holly Nagila Weber. You'll never hide from Heidi Eleanor Jones. It's no BS, we love Hugo ES. Yes. Jamie, she has no last namey. Sips some scotch with Jessica Trotch. She's our pal-a-ger, it's Karen Gallagher. She's our favorite streamer, Caroline Peacock.

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