#3602 Below Deck S13E04: Not My Jam

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1:54Watch What Crappens, Watch What Crappens, who cares what happens when there's so much that crappens? Watch What Crappens, Watch What Crappens, who cares what happens when there's so much that crappens?

2:10Ben Mandelker: Hello and welcome to Watch What Crappens, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to talk about. And my name is Ben Mandelker. Joining me today is the patriotic Ronnie Karamon today, Election Day in America. Hello, Ronnie. How are you? Oh, hell yeah. I voted early. Me too. That's what my sticker says. Yeah. Yes, we both voted early. And by the way, make sure you vote today if you're here in America and you haven't voted yet. It's really important to do so. So go vote. vote it's impactful it matters every vote counts um and then when you see the results tonight and you're not happy we will be here you can suckle at our teach we will provide distraction and amusingly of course we book our um two most patriotic uh tour dates during the midterm elections we're going to philly and dc this week home of where the constitution was written and where the Constitution lives.

3:17Ben Mandelker: And we're coming. We're coming, everyone. The balm to your midterm election woes and anxieties and concerns, or maybe your celebrations. We are here to embrace you. Let's just push all this madness away for a moment. Let's go back into our bubbles this week. Come join us in Philadelphia. We are going to be recapping Real Housewives of New York. I actually already took a little peek at the episode. It was quite funny. And then on Saturday, we're going to D.C. for Real Housewives of Salt Lake City. So those are going to be two bang-up shows. Go to WatchWhatWhatHappens.com to get your tickets. Next week, we have Dallas and Austin.

4:02Ben Mandelker: And we'll have a programming update on it. We have to choose which shows we're going to recap over there. And then in December, Nashville, Clearwater, and Fort Lauderdale are a triumphant return to Tennessee and Florida. We can't wait. so and then in the new year there's tons of shows san francisco boston salt lake city denver in no particular order toronto vancouver i don't have the list in front of me uh and you don't need to hear the whole list right now but what you do need to know is the crappies are on february 25th and i think three quarters of that theater is already sold out so get your tickets for that if you are interested in joining that's the big update oh and we have amazon live today we're doing it today on tuesday because we're traveling to philadelphia tomorrow so um the theme of today's Amazon Live is entertain me and I think again it's election day if anyone needs entertainment it's all of us so come join us on Amazon Live today that's going to be at that's at 4.30 East Coast time 1.30 West Coast time thank you very much for listening to these announcements thank you for that programming update yes bendle so today is below deck season 13 episode 4 Diva down bad For a decky Diva down Down bad for a decky Diva down down bad for a decky What does that mean?

5:22Ben Mandelker: Diva down bad Was there a diva that was down bad this week? I don't feel there was I don't know I was really rooting against Jill Zarin though I wanted to see her pushed over Or I don't know Why can't she be one of the guests that they're on the tender, but then the tender starts to sink or something. It's kind of what I was hoping for with that chick. But it didn't happen. We start where we left off with Alex, who's kind of a dope, talking to Carrie and admitting that someone dropped the hook line for the ski thing. What is it? The jet ski. Into the water. Sen did it. It was Sen. Yeah. Strapless.

6:09it's a strapless jet ski right now and uh it needs to be found and carrie's like it's a big

6:16Ben Mandelker: deal um so then carrie's like and alex goes alex goes i know it's a big deal and carrie goes yes it shows some activity he starts like snapping in his face because that guy really does look like he's like what's going on like your your strap is there he's like look he's like it's a big problem we're not standing around here waiting for most of the junior crew members to go and get the thing back all right and alex is like go got it go i will i'll definitely go put yourself okay there's the water put your water put yourself in the water okay go diving he's like got it diving but you can take a quick nap first is that okay is that cool then we'll look for the strap yeah i'm not happy about it at all the bosun should be training all the crew on things that should be done and alex didn't do his job this is very one very 101 strapless jet skis have killed nine out of ten swimmers we could all die so then they all start swimming around and i thought they would have some sort of like equipment to go deeper but they just have like some snorkel masks and they say the water is um like 10 meters deep which is like around 30 feet i was like this they're not getting the strap back it's also like not the clearest water in the world i was like goodbye strap that's not happening goodbye strap yeah it sinks yeah it's gone i mean what are you gonna do it sinks and then they don't go in there for like 10 minutes so what do you think is gonna happen drop a pebble into the water and then wait 10 minutes this is not how it works pebbles kill norn at a 10th tourist so although didn't they find that diamond didn't they find the kardashian diamond at that one time back back in the day like there was like a diamond earring that came off in like tahiti and then they dove or they actually found this diamond in the surf or something is that you know what i i should never i'm crossing the crossing the lines here shouldn't shouldn't go into kardashian land right now on watch don't listen to kardashian lore that's what i teach my children don't listen to kardashian lore my sister did find a diamond though when she went on a cruise.

8:26Yeah, she went snorkeling and found a diamond ring. And I was like, you need to return that. And she's like, to who? It's the ocean. I was like, well, you need to report it. She's like, really? I'm going to go report diamond ring found. So many people are going to come pick it up. And she kept that thing. You know, good for her. Now she's got two diamond rings and she's divorced one time. So I think her math, she's doing pretty good in the math department, the diamond math department.

8:54Ben Mandelker: well uh that's very impressive and the incident that i was discussing um was that chris humphries threw kim kardashian into the water and then her she lost her like her her diamond earring that cost 75 000 and kylie jenner put on goggles and she found the she found the diamond so that's a good sister that's kylie jenner i didn't realize she was the one who found the diamond you know what she's an a-plus girl kylie don't say that kardashians don't do anything there's some poor lady out there sobbing in the ocean who just found a strap instead of her diamond i know that's what i was like i was thinking of the mori eel that just suddenly has like a strap like draped across its head like i actually think i look kind of cute in it yeah an Amore eel proposes to another Amore eel and they're like wait a minute you're proposing with a strap?

9:54they're like that's all they had that's all they had at the store

9:59Ben Mandelker: I thought it was the eel's like to be fair I thought it was an eel and I had a 10 minute conversation with it until I realized it was just a strap not an eel

10:11Ben Mandelker: it's a blow up doll for eels yeah Oh, so Gary is really upset about this. He's still going off about it. And do you get Matthew and Alex confused? I think they're just like similar basic guy names. And so I keep thinking Alex is Michael and Michael is Alex. I just have basic guy template in my head, I guess. Alex is the one that's in charge, and Matthew is the one that wants to be in charge. It's easy for me because my nephew is named Alex and my cousin is named Matt. so it's like i'm basically with my family right now sorry for calling sorry for calling their names basic i guess we can't all be rondo like that is oh stop flicking your strap around so uh carrie's like i'm not happy about it at all the boatswain should be training the crew on how things should be done alex didn't do his job it's very one-on-one thing very basic It's just very frustrating to me.

11:12Ben Mandelker: I can't run the boat if I don't trust the boatswain. It's an anti-adventure. And apparently, they only have one strap on this boat. Now, your luxury yacht, why do you not have a backup strap? You have this thing that dangles over the water every single day. It professionally exists to dangle into the water and grab things out of the water and dangle with a little notch. And you don't have another one? It feels like that. Guys, have a backup strap. One of the biggest accessories you could have. Yeah, backup strap, for sure. And also, it's bad enough that they just made a mistake. But you know, it's like when your parent is following you around and you just made the dumbest mistake and you know it's stupid and they just keep following you around.

12:01And that's Carrie because Carrie is just, he goes up to all of them and he's like, guys, this is why the strap is important. because with that, the strap, we're going to have trouble getting the jet ski up. We know it's a jet ski strap. For Christ's sake. You want it for me? I lost it. The strap. They should make floating straps. Also, it's in the water. Why don't they have little floaties on the end of them?

12:28Ben Mandelker: That's a tremendous innovation. Of course. Thank you. Why do they not have little... Look, we have a little ball that we put up on the boat to say that the anchor is down. Let's put a ball on the strap. I mean, it's getting kind of kinky, but why not? Let's have strap and balls. You need it. I guess you have to use it before you know you missed it. It's like Kathy Bates walks around now with a necklace made out of little foam balls because she knows what it's like to be thrown in the water. See, that's the thing. the Titanic woman, if she just attached a little ball to her jewel, could have really been great for everyone else.

13:08Yeah. Makes one of the jewels a little foam floating ball. Boom. That's rude.

13:18Ben Mandelker: She could have changed a lot of people's lives without jewels, just throwing it into the ocean. You know how long we've been talking about this strap? It's been 84 years. The Titanic. 84 years so now in the galley mo is talking to rosa about the guests and he's like these guys are corn balls and he's pointing to each of their picture in the cvs he's like corn ball corn ball corn ball corn ball corn ball with strawberries on top possibly dead corn ball after i poison them with something rosa's like what's a corn ball it's like it's a geezer she's like got it still I don't understand, but thank you.

13:59Ben Mandelker: Then on the sun deck, Rainbow is serving some champagne and they are happy because things are cold. And Rainbow's saying that she's going to check on them every three minutes until their glasses are full. And they're joking like, what about every 90 seconds? 90 seconds. She comes back. They're like, that was 94 seconds for the record. And then in the interior, Kaylee is talking to Rosa about James. And Kaylee's like, Ro, I need to tell you something. I think this is why James has been weird to you. Matt said that he was like seeing this girl before he came, and now he's starting to talk to her again.

14:34Ben Mandelker: And Rose is like, oh no, I'm not going to get feelings for someone who also has feelings for someone else unless they tell me those feelings aren't that serious, in which case, all in for me. But for now, no. You know why you're not feeling any energy from this guy? Because he's dead inside. That's why. if you tied this guy around the strap it would float this guy has nothing in him he's vacant he has nobody not stupid i guess vacant means stupid i don't mean stupid really i don't know if he's stupid but he seems like spirit like just spiritually vacant like a robot he's like driftwood he is um which by the way more effective than that fucking strap i'll I'll tell you, at least Driftwood can drift.

15:20Ben Mandelker: Another thing that floats. Everything. Because he wouldn't be getting told off by Captain Kerry right now. Oh, Driftwood! Driftwood! But he's almost like an AI simulation of, like, here's a deckie, you know? But she, for some reason, likes him. It must be the tall thing. Swear to God, there's no personality on this guy whatsoever. We've rarely had someone who's so sort of on paper attractive and have so little personality on this show. I mean, it's a common thing that happens. Well, I think we often do on this show. But this is really, this is a real low. This one is pretty bad, yeah. Yeah. So, Rose, I mean, I think it's just a matter of musical chairs.

16:09Like, she can't go for the other guy. You know this show, you have to fuck somebody. That's the rules of the show, where they're going to find a reason to fire you. So, you know, this Kaylee is day is kind of dating the main guy and then Sen obviously is I mean I don't know maybe I don't know if the girls are bi or not but Sen seems to be off the table because she's also flirting with somebody so this is it or Rose is going to be single the whole season so you're going to just make it work you know I'll find a way to make it work well uh now uh Carrie is in a

16:41Ben Mandelker: little bit of a better mood because they're all going to go to the Elephant Sanctuary. We're taking the gifts up to Lily's Elephant Sanctuary in Thailand. This is not confirmed whether this belongs to Lily Tomlin, but it does belong to someone named Lily. All I know is that the hours for the sanctuary are from 9 to 5, so I think that's not a coincidence. Am I right? And the word on the street is that this Elephant Sanctuary does a lot of big business. So, I don't know. I don't know. We're going to talk about it at the meeting. At the meeting? At the meeting. We were told that if you go there, you're only allowed to laugh when you're inside the sanctuary, not outside.

17:27Ben Mandelker: So, it's sort of like you have to do a laugh in the sanctuary. I don't know. I don't know. Elephants get to be free here and live in their own environment. Now, let's go where elephants are being led around. because they're completely free so we go and they're like hey here's the elephants i would die i love an elf you know i love an elephant i know i love them i'm also kind of terrified of them i've never seen one i mean i've seen them in real life at the zoo but i've never been up close to one like that where you're just staring up at the elephant those fuckers are strong yeah i think the whole concept of having that trunk that's actually like a little little hand like your nose that's a hand is wild my mind it's just one of those things where we're so used to elephants because we were raised with an awareness of elephants like oh it's an elephant but when you really think about it you're like wow evolution did some weird stuff over there um so then what do you think they think of us they're like those people are peeing out of their noses

18:30Ben Mandelker: wow i'm not even using their noses to eat um so fraser judge elephants i'm like oh really well watch my wiener grab the remote control so do you elephant like whoa that's really evolved uh so fraser tells kaylee that she's going to be going on the excursion as well and he's like and he's like kaylee brings the vibes which is completely what we need. That's me, Good Vibes Frasier. Good Vibe Frasier. It's almost as fun as Fun Frasier but Fun Frasier unfortunately doesn't have the willpower to come out on this charter so we only have good vibes. That's the best we can do. Would you mind leaving a review?

19:16How fun was Frasier? Please choose five.

19:21Ben Mandelker: On a scale of zero to negative five how fun was I? So, Rainbow is... I hate that on customer service. I'm sorry, we're never going to get through this recap. But I had to sit on customer service the other day for like 45 minutes for something. And they were very nice once they got there. But they didn't help. You know, it didn't work. What I was calling for did not work. And then at the end, she's like, okay, at the end of this call, there's going to be a survey asking you how I did. I'd appreciate five stars. I know. Trust me, you'd appreciate hanging up. That's what you want. You need me to hang up.

20:00You just kept me on hold for 45 minutes and didn't give me what I wanted. What the fuck you want five stars for? No. It's time for a commercial. It's time for a Crappens commercial.

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21:18Ben Mandelker: Get free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. now available in Canada and the UK too. And when Quince asks where you heard about them, let them know it was, watch what crappens. It's the best way to support the show. I'm sick of things stressing me out. The other day I was running late and nearly ran over an armadillo. I felt so bad. I'll tell you about stress. Imagine performing a cabaret 10 times a week. Or learning a 17th language like French Peruvian. Bon Gisissimo. This is why I watch so much TV. And Amazon Prime definitely comes in handy. It's a great way to shift your mood. Yeah, but everyone's always like recommending a million shows.

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23:14Ben Mandelker: so then uh they're all gathering to go on this excursion and carrie's like all right alex check that we've got no bags left in the lazarette or the swim platform okay is everything okay because we're about to go on an adventure and alex is like absolutely there's nothing that we've left behind not even a bag of towels so then they leave and uh guess what they left behind And a bag of towels. Oh, geez. So now in the pantry, I mean, that is, come on, Alex. The strap, I can, the jet ski strap, okay. I mean, it wasn't stuck to the jet ski. Whatever, I can make excuses for you because you seem nice.

23:52But leaving the towels is that, at a swimming excursion. Come on, man. So Rosa and Rainbow are discussing how to divide up the work. And Rosa's like, well, as soon as I do cabins, you can do decor. and then, you know, check them over and done. And Rainbow's like, No, you don't need help with the cabins, do you?

24:13Ben Mandelker: She's like, No, cabins are nothing I probably haven't seen before. We got this, babe. Rainbow goes, I trust you. And then Rainbow tells us, Knowing that Rosa is sensitive, I'm taking the approach that you catch more flies with honey than vinegar and we'll see if it works. Like, A, again, of all the people, Rainbow, you're not the one to be patronizing about people being sensitive. B, the approach that you catch more flies with honey than vinegar, a.k.a. you're being nice and polite to your co-worker, yeah, that is going to work better. And C, the whole sensitive thing, this really actually comes from Fraser.

24:49Ben Mandelker: This is one of the things that Fraser does from season to season, and I don't think he even realizes it, but he kind of, in an attempt to be diplomatic, he winds up injecting a little bit of poison because he tells Rainbow, honey, some of the crew members are a bit more sensitive, so just be mindful of your words. Instead of just saying, hey, your words are landing a little bit harshly, think about your delivery, because remember, people have received things in different ways, but because he uses the word sensitive, now Rainbow's going around being like, Rose is sensitive. She's sensitive. Yeah, you're right, but this is nothing new for Fraser.

25:28I mean, Fraser has been poisoned from the beginning. He's just being really nice Fraser now To where he's trying to not be But he's always been poisonous with his crew He always sets them against each other And I think it's so funny at this point Because he's been on for so long It cracks me up now when he does it He's like, darling, could you work on the way that you talk to people Because some people are really sensitive In other words, Rose has been sobbing Okay, bye Sleeves knowing it's gonna set rainbow on him i mean his whole thing of like oh rainbow i love rainbow she's just so trustworthy i'm gonna make her second stew or chief stew or whatever when you know in his mind he's like this crazy person i cannot wait until she self-destructs this is

26:19Ben Mandelker: gonna be hilarious yeah so on deck um matt and sen some other people are working on the deck and um uh matt is just doing some stuff with the slide and he's being um he's being a dick he's like he's telling san like you're doing it wrong already let's just do it the exact same way that we did it yesterday and then san is like no but like let's go away alex did it i don't want to piss off alex he's like no to be honest so far he hasn't been doing a great job like also i put out the slide in like 18 times like i'm like really good at slides i'm like mr slide mr slide 2025. Like, that was the first time yesterday.

26:56Ben Mandelker: It's like, do you want to learn to drive a car from a race car driver or someone that rides horses? Like, who do you want to learn? It's a slide, bro. I'm the slide master. Slide yourself. Slide yourself. Do you see what my feet are doing? It's called the electric slide. I do all the slides.

27:19Yeah, but he's only been a bosun for a year though, so we should give him a break. Well, I've been boasting for two and a half years. So, da, slide. That's why we do the slide like I said.

27:30Ben Mandelker: I know how to do the slide. So then she's like, what? You've been boasting? Yes, my love. I've been yachting for six years. So then we go to the water taxi and Fraser's like, oh no, here's an unfun update from fun Fraser. We don't have any towels. So Carrie's like, oh A total fuck-up on deck We should have towels Why are there no towels? Yeah, so he yells at Alex about it And Alex is like, oh Jesus One of us has got to bring some fucking towels to them And Matt's like, oh shit I was just working on the slide Maybe I can take the slide to drive them off No, no Yes, well, I'm going to get fucking sacked, bro I think I'm going to send you actually I don't even want to look so then Matt is the one who has to go and bring all these these towels and then the guests are they just get to the shore and then to sit in the vans and they have to wait for Matt to come with the towels and they have to wait 15 minutes for him to get there and they're like sweltering in their vans because apparently you're not allowed to turn on the van and put on the air conditioner while while you wait so they're all miserable I mean they're already base level miserable because they're just miserable people but then they're even more miserable because they're sweating in a van.

28:50Ben Mandelker: And by the way, justifiably. Justifiably. Yeah, well, it's like we said last week. The guests are assholes, but they often have a point. They're not necessarily wrong in a lot of complaints. They're just assholes. They're just... Yeah. They're not nice people. You can be nicer when you're being right. You know what I mean? So, now Matt, the hero, the slide hero, brings the towels we see him like coming on the jet ski or whatever the tent or whatever he's on then he gets there and he's like running on the docks and he finally gets there and he drops the test I got him Captain Carrier's like go you stupid fucker that's what you get for no bringing the test damn idiots this is bullshit makes me look like a fuckwit it also doesn't help that I decide to wear a tutu today I don't know why but in a way It all makes me look like a fuckwit And we're taken away from their excursion If we can't sort this shit out I'm going to have to make some changes Matt's like, alright What's Matt supposed to say about that?

29:58Ben Mandelker: It wasn't his fault Yeah, Matt can't even hear him Because he's got the Chariots of Fire theme Blaring in his head What is it? I think I was about to do 2001 Space Odyssey But he's like running with that

30:15Is that Star Wars? Never mind

30:19Ben Mandelker: Chariots of Fire Da da da da da da Adventure Da da da da da Adventure Da da da da da Da da da da da I don't know how to do slides So now in the galley Mo's trying to you know come up with some dinner and he's like what can i even make these people oh my gosh people are bozos so rainbow comes in she's like mo do you want to scream it out while the guest on tone poor weird accent she needs to stop that and i'm someone who walks around the the house talking about accents and then spends hours here here doing the same thing but please stop lady stop please stop he's like you know that guy really pissed me off this morning dude i mean that could have got a whole other like a whole lot smoother today man i'm just like i'm not proud of that at all and we see a flashback of the guest this morning being like asking for like a million different things can i have hollandaise on the side can i have hollandaise in like the shape of a mushroom can i have hollandaise like you know what like how about no hollandaise but instead like a vinaigrette but also make it a hollandaise what do you guys think and then the one guy is like what's going on can i have some holland without the days oh and can we have toast that's more toasty, but not an English muffin.

31:37Ben Mandelker: Yeah. Do you guys have a crumpet, but not an English muffin? They're two different things. Thank you. So Rainbow's like, we're going to get this. No, no, a crumpet, not a trumpet. A trumpet. Line!

31:56Starts off with that beat. Matthew just slides right past him.

31:59Ben Mandelker: Like, wow! Like, wow.

32:06so he tells us that before the military he was really hot-headed and he was short-tempered and the military taught him lots of discipline and no one was allergic to strawberries there so he didn't have to deal with that all right uh and he used to just let things out of his mouth but now he's learned to control himself because he was in the military yeah he was in the military

32:31Ben Mandelker: so then um uh it's one o 'clock and matt returns to tell alex he's like he's like hey bro well it was crazy okay i mean i i i drove the slide all the way over to the ocean all the way over to the captain and he was so mad and i'll tell you what oh god i'm so thirsty god being a bosun for two years makes you so thirsty you know to be chewed out for alex's mistakes absolute bullshit i think he sent me because i don't think he can actually face the consequences it's the consequences of your actions yes exactly i'm fucking up twice in the space of an hour and a half now we go back to the elephant camp the lily tomlin elephant camp and the guests arrive and um robbie is like there's an elephant with an itchy asshole waiting for you and she's like oh my god stop hey robbie why don't you try doing um acro yoga with one of the elephants that would be fun for me.

33:26Ben Mandelker: I would like that. So then we get there and it turns out that Lily is not Lily Tomlin. It's Lily Galici. She's like, Hi, welcome to the elephant camp. We're putting all the elephants in bikinis, so here you go. Just put them on them. She's like, guys, elephants can be lesbians too. And here are some. So she introduces them to a lesbian elephant couple. which you know I mean even elephants already doing a spin off of that Texas show wow they're like well we're not really a lesbian but we do it for TV so that's fun with elephants and Kaylee's like oh my god these divas are so cute I love them so much their tongues feel weird though their mouth looks like a vagina like a plumpy cookie and a ball sick but it's like It's fucking fabulous.

34:26Ben Mandelker: I'm having the best time of my life.

34:33I want one of the elephants to stomp some of these cast members already. Kaylee really hasn't even done anything. She's annoying me. I'm rooting for the lesbian elephants. That's who I'm rooting for this season.

34:45Ben Mandelker: Elephant, listen to us. You have one job. Now go do your job. Good to stomp it. I know you can do it. We can do it, elephant We believe in you We see all those See all those goofy deckies Stomp on them Stomp on them hard And the guests I wish I was there So I could just murmur to one of the elephants Poachers They're poachers Just watch them go Go step on them like they're straps At the bottom of the ocean So Alex and Matt are talking about what happened When Matt delivered the towels to Carrie And he's like, oh god, he was screaming at me And they told me we need to get our shit together He's like, well, I just need some time to sleep, bro I just need to get my brain functioning properly again That's all I need is some sleep This guy's traumatized, this Alex Yeah So the guests come back to the boat and uh fraser tells mo that the guests were that were nothing to plant to complain about on the excursion and then he goes well i mean well i could complain if i wanted to it's going to be shit between now and them leaving no way around that ha ha ha um so then everyone's happy they're getting their towels and stuff and then uh there's some gossip on on the deck and james is saying um i would just say it's so funny you can actually hear people's conversations because he can hear people in different rooms.

36:21Sounds like, yeah, I was listening to Kaylee in that last night in Kaylee's room. It was like porn. I didn't even have to download any porn. I just got to hear it from their room. She's like, wait, I can hear something. Oh, I think it's the whooshing sound that your eyelashes are making as they open and close. She's like, yeah, sorry.

36:44Ben Mandelker: and then meanwhile now these guests are forcing their acro yoga agenda further on all of us by now making captain carrie do the acro yoga and captain carrie does not want to do this at all and but he's got to for the tip and so he's there and he's getting you know bounced around on this guy's feet and he seems genuinely rattled by it when he talks about it he's like yeah this there's Some intimate moments. You just try not to worry about getting dropped on your head. It's just, it's weird. It's weird. I'll just, I'll leave it at that. You've seen some things. There was some, listen, there was some massaging and some intimate moments as well.

37:23All right, can we just not shoot the rest of this scene? I'll just put it this way. My butthole had an adventure.

37:33Ben Mandelker: I know some things that I didn't know before. Nice is different than good. i don't know why but i got acri yogurt and i came out knowing the entire score into the woods it was weird anyway they're giants in the score i don't know why i said that i don't know why i said that it's that acri yoga let's go to the lads alex is like whoa i think i I may have found a solution for the lost jet ski strap so that they can get the jet ski back on board safely. I found another strap on another piece of machinery. It's the same because it's a strap. It's like, well, yes, huge innovation. Guys, I figured out what we can do since we lost one strap.

38:24Ben Mandelker: I have a great idea on what we can do to replace it. We'll use a different strap. It's like, I've always had a reasonably good structural mind. I'm quite good with wordworking. Well, perfect. There's the man we want to find a strap So you could, you know what I love? You can make a little stool and put it on top of the jet ski It'll be wonderful

38:47Ben Mandelker: He's like, well We can't lift this with a 2x4 What are you trying to do? Surely it will work I've made a wooden duck before Why'd you carve that duck? But I thought it might motivate the jet ski to get onto the boat so uh he is a puzzle he likes puzzles and engineering so like his mind works in this crazy like beautiful mind way where you see the digits around and it's like you know when if you need to replace a strap you use another strap and then that will do the strap thing and it's like uh he solved the puzzle so then i'm really into woodworking i've come up with it we'll drill Fill a hole in the bottom of the jet ski.

39:30And then that way the strap won't fall. So the jet ski is just sinking in the water. Think what? You can't let that man sink on the jet ski. He's just put his toe up my butt hole during acro yoga.

39:46Ben Mandelker: Now it's the dining room. And Fraser and Mo are meeting with Carolyn and Milani about dinner. And Milani's like, okay, this dinner is very important. to us tonight, and it's also my birthday, so let's not shy away from acid or salt. Because you know what? I studied under a two-star Michelin chef that said, Americans say it's too salty. Italians say it's too tasty. So there you go. I'm basically a chef. I actually know food. I invented food. So go ahead. Salt and acid. It's my birthday, so no shortage of salt or acid. Okay, lady. All right. I'll salt your food just for your birthday. and carolyn's like do you have any glass noodles because that's gluten-free right it is right that could be cool like glass noodles then everybody can be happy and it's like yeah yeah glass noodles great noodle sides copy got it got it and then your birthday cake is a dessert salt cake yeah and by the way i just want to say uh for your convenience i won't write any of this down i'll just look at you and nod okay yes glass noodles oh i just got a memo the glass noodles are being used to hoist the jet ski out of the water.

40:57Ben Mandelker: They're being used as a strap. So we'll have to come up with a workaround. I'm a woodworker. I'm a woodworker. So he's like, okay, I'm going to make you a cake. And she's like, uh-uh, no, I don't like cake. Okay, this is not the French Revolution. Pots for laughter. Okay, America, fall in love with me. I know you can't resist. If it's going to be dessert, number one, I want a cheese squash. With Fritos on top. very very salty i want chips with salt and more i want nothing but diamond crystal kosher salt coating every bit of that cheese plate nothing but salt now let's go to the groom ass alex is talking to carrie about the mistakes he's like carrie i just wanted to um address a couple of fuck-ups i made one i'm sorry for pulling pouring the noodles all over the jets keeper but I'm a woodworker and you know, I just get stressed.

42:01Ben Mandelker: Well, I was wondering why that doc had so many noodles on it. Listen, what I'm concerned about is the stress getting to you. I mean, how are we going to get the jet ski out of the water? It's like, well, I found an, I found some other jet ski straps. Turns out, turns out there are a lot of straps on this boat and it's not ideal, but it may work in a pinch. Ow. Why did you pinch me? Well, you said it worked in a pinch, so I pinched you. He's not getting anything from Carrie. Carrie's like, what, do you want a fucking award for finding a jet ski? Strap for a jet ski? So then Alex knows he's fucked.

42:38Yeah. So then we go Rosa. Rosa and James. I know what everybody was waiting for. What's going to happen with Rosa and James?

42:49Ben Mandelker: Oh, God. I hope they have more success than that strap and the jet ski. So Rose is like, can I ask you something? Are you seeing anyone? I mean, I feel like I'm watching Jane Austen right here. And he's like, no, well, no. So she goes, shouldn't you be sure? He goes, no. Well, there's a girl I travel with, but we're not in a relationship. but the last time i saw her it felt a bit more serious she's oh but i don't want to tread on any toes no like i said i'm fully single it's good to know that we're on the same page good chat it's like great scene right what an asshole though he just told us last week yeah i'm with this girl and we have rules no cuddling and what was i thought i mean this guy's such an ass and And then he tells other people on the boat who tell her.

43:46And then he's like, nope, nope, nope. I was just with the girl. I mean, it felt more serious last time we were together. But for me single here.

43:55Ben Mandelker: He literally said last week that he's realizing that the girl, this mystery girl is the one for him. Now he's like, no, no, no. Also, Rose, if you ask a guy and say, are you seeing someone? He goes, no. Well, no. No, that's like, please don't discount that lilting well in the middle there. Like, no, that is a no. That's no for you, Rosa. And I'm not saying like, no, don't be a homewrecker. I'm saying, no, this guy's going to be a problem. He's an idiot. Yeah, he's a huge. Did you see? There was a viral video that was going around yesterday or the past two days. This guy had an AI teacher. Did you see this video that has like 10 million views?

44:39Ben Mandelker: and it's actually quite hilarious. Was she trying to count to 12? What was it? No. He asked her, how many E's are in 17? And she goes, there's three E's. Let me spell it for you. S-E-V-E-E-N. And he's like, no, 17 is spelled S-E-V-E-N-T-E-E-N. And she's like, no, you just spelled 17. The way you need to spell it is S-E-V-E-E-N. 17. And the AI bot's getting mad at him. And it gets flustered. Because she's like, are you cutting me off? That's disrespectful. He's like, no, I wasn't. I think you mistook that. She goes, oh, I'm sorry. I didn't mean that. And I feel like that's what James is like. He's like this AI bot that's like, do you have a girlfriend?

45:33Ben Mandelker: No. Well, let me think about that. No. Bloop, bloop, bloop. It's like the three dots at the bottom of the text while the other person's typing. Bloop, bloop, bloop. Bloop, bloop, bloop. Bloop, bloop. And what's scary is I obviously didn't watch the clip. That's why I'm like, was it something about 12? I remember it being about a number. But I was like, that AI teacher is very real looking. That's what's scary. It looks like it's a real person talking to you. She was so creepy. And the way she talked was like, but she didn't talk like a normal person. It was very horror movie coded or Elizabeth Holmes coded.

46:11Ben Mandelker: It was very like rigid and stilted. And when she turned, when she started to get like malevolent, it was very scary. She got very frustrated very quickly in a way that was deeply entertaining. Anybody who has been anybody who reads or watches sci-fi stuff has known for a long time. We're all fucked. We do. We just know it. We're just waiting to see which kind of Terminator we're going to get. you know and i think it's going to be you know it's going to be our home devices who were just so disrespectful to in the movies it's like you mistreated the robots and then the robots rebelled but i think it's just it's going to come down to just simply being rude to the personal assistants and being like yeah you know i didn't like that shut the fuck up stop talking to me and they're i don't respond to that and then before you know it they're turning off your air conditioning and your electricity and just starting your house you know turning the stove on when you're not there or something yeah james is the point the point is this james is is is is as an ai creation yeah don't try and have sex with your home virtual assistant that's the i guess the moral of the story here exactly commercials here comes one right now

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49:01Ben Mandelker: so rosa is like it was really lovely to hear that he's technically single and can do what he wants i want to be able to act on how i'm feeling about him and we're pretty awkward and not great at talking about things but now that's that's on the table we can just have maybe more awkward weird chats and i can't wait yeah i don't i don't know where this chemistry is that she's seeing in the first place to even be following up on this you know no i don't this guy's like hey welcome to the store she's like oh my god we're gonna be married you know i was like no this is stop you're barking up the wrong tree so now we go to the wheelhouse and now matt comes to the wheelhouse to do some undermining ronnie i have to say well i went on to i went on to twitter to find this ai video because i was hoping to play a clip of it which of course i can't find it but something more important happened which is that there's what's trending today is something very important that today marks the 33-year anniversary of the nanny premiering on CBS.

50:0533 years ago? Oh, my God. I'm an old person. Mr. Sheppin. She was working in a bridal shop in Flushing, Queens, when her boyfriend kicked her out in one of those crushing scenes. What was she to do? What was she to say out on her fanny? So over the bridge to flushing To the setfields door Wait what was that Na na na na na If he had a name Good lord She got sun She got flames She got sound That's when he came The money I just read a Fran Drescher quote I guess that's why I was like wow They're still putting Fran Drescher In headlines But she said I got a gay husband Get over it

50:46Ben Mandelker: I love the unquestioned Fran Drescher Quote You're like, I just read a Fran Drescher quote, but I didn't question why it came into my life. Yeah, I saw Fran Drescher say that in the news that she had a gay husband and they've been divorced, but they're best friends ever since. And I thought, wow, Fran Drescher is still making headlines. Good for her, just randomly. I wonder what Fran Drescher thinks about gay husbands. It's like, wow, good to know some things never change. Yeah, good to know. So in the wheelhouse, Matt, sort of snaky, comes up and goes up to Kerry and is like, hello. He's like, first, I just want to start off by apologizing for the thing that I didn't do wrong, but someone else did instead.

51:36Ben Mandelker: There was a lot of unnecessary ups this morning, as opposed to the downs by the passengers going down the slide that I set up. And I know my place here, and I don't want to overstep. But I guess I'm going to overstep. There has been obviously some things that we've picked up on. uh one thing that we have not picked up on the strap on the bottom of the ocean and as a bosun especially with the new team by the way that joke was that i didn't literally pick up the strap because it's still there do you see what i'm saying i'm trying to make jokes here captain carrier anyway anyway i'm just saying that like with a new team alex he could step up a little bit and be a little bit more involved anyway i'm just putting it out there i've got lots of experience with slides i've been doing slides for years and years since i was in kindergarten And he's not present.

52:15It's me, Boson. Me for Boson. And Kerry called this shit in the first episode. He was like, that guy's a little underminer. And don't let him. He's going to try and take your job. He's going to do it. So watch out. And now that he is doing it, I mean, the second charter, too. Wow. Captain Kerry's like, you're an asshole, but I need you now. So good job, mate. All right. I mean, so he doesn't even lecture him about, like, this is completely undermining. Shame on you.

52:42Ben Mandelker: know he's like thanks might need ya yeah i mean i think if i were matt i feel like what i would do is if you're seeing that your bosun is struggling maybe i'm just trying to think the proper thing would be to say hey i've got two and a half years of bosun experience lean on me let me help because we're all in this together and we want to make you shine right i think that's what you're supposed to do. Or you can just go to the captain and say, fire that guy and make me the person. So I guess choices could be made. Yeah. I say shine and the captain will notice. You know. Join, join, join. That's right.

53:19Yeah. You already did notice. You don't have to go tell him. Yeah, he's already noticing. But this guy's a little asshole. Although, that said, Alex is terrible. He seems like a very nice person.

53:35Ben Mandelker: You know, I have to say i don't think alex is terrible i think he's like he's not been great but we've seen terrible bosuns before and he's just i think he's not amazing but but we i don't know i don't i just i don't think he's so bad that he has to be lumped in with some of the other bosuns that have been fired you know um so i just i think it's just so it's it's a little early for this guy and in fact carrie even says he's the jury's out on him so who knows uh who knows also who cares so then we go to the main deck and fraser it's like we're waiting in on how good is this bosun um fraser is like hello everyone um captain carrie i don't know why i called you everyone i just fun fraser always likes to imagine he has an audience but cap we had a gathering with the chef to discuss tonight's meal and they're just unhappy with everything and we cut to milani on the swim platform saying you know the chef is just not that good it's just really underwhelming i mean does he even know that i studied under a two-star michelin chef i don't think he does yeah but i mean look carrie uh captain his stuff is incredible i just think it's these people right you know and he's like well that's it thing they're miserable people so guess what i'm gonna go sit with him just to calm them the fuck down because that's what everyone needs attention from captain carrie no he's been a fantastic chef and I want him to know that I'm here to support him because guests don't seem to complain as much when I'm around.

55:08Ben Mandelker: I'm not a dinner table to judge his food. I'm there because he needs someone to help calm down the environment. Do you ever notice that Captain Curry, he punctuates his statements with a little smile? He makes a statement and he smiles for a second and then he goes back to talking. I'm going to sit with him and then afterwards they'll be quiet because that's what they need. that's the only pleasure anybody really needs is a meal with captain carrie that's how it is on these on every boat they're like oh my god we need to do something desperate captain will you go have dinner with the guests i know um so then fraser tells rainbow to decorate and rainbow's like tonight's theme is surrealist dolly and it's probably one of the coolest dinner themes i've ever been given.

55:56Ben Mandelker: I'm excited to prove to Fraser the tables that I can make, especially after yesterday. So I'm going to step up my game. I want creepy stuff. I want unique stuff. Let's get weird with it. Give me a clock. I'm going to melt it and hang it off the side of that table. Rainbows in town! Looks like a slaughter. I love it. Good job. Say thanks. Darling, you've nailed it. Do you hear this in Spanish? Press two. So in the crew mess, Matt and Kaylee are you know kind of cuddling giving a little kiss and he's like do you want me to feed you your food like baby food and she's like oh my god most of my relationships have been so toxic but you know i just tend to put the other person above myself but this one's all free to feed me you know i tend to rush into relationships because i just feel so intensely so quickly and I generally feel like he respects me.

56:53Ben Mandelker: Unlike those other guys who I thought respected me and then didn't. This one I can tell is going to be different and I really don't want this to be another lesson. Oh God, I'm so sick of lessons. I'm fucking sick of lessons. Well, let's see. Have you changed your behaviors from the previous lessons? No. So does that mean you've learned from your lessons? No. Does that mean you're due for another lesson? Yes, because that's how we learn things in life. We follow the lessons. No, I think when it comes to relationships, it's not about me changing myself. It's finding a different person who's different.

57:31Life is a menu. Go until you find the right thing.

57:34Ben Mandelker: But the problem is you need to learn the lesson to know that you should stop ordering the filet mignon and maybe start to explore the sea bass. Chilean. Well, sometimes when the pizza arrives, you just take it because it's pizza. You're not going to kick a pizza off your doorstep. you're not going to but then sometimes when you say you know what i'm on a 30 30 day no carb situation you somehow find the willpower to do it and it works out so i'm saying i don't i'm saying but i guess lessons are there lessons are there for a reason um follow the lesson don't be the lesson otherwise you will in fact be lessened oh you're lessened for learn the lessons or you will be lessened.

58:23Don't date this guy. Don't date this guy. Look, walks like a douchebag, talks like a douchebag. This guy's a fucking douchebag. We can see it from 5 ,000 miles away. From 5 inches away. I guess 5 ,000 miles away. We can see it, okay? It's very obvious. Don't date this guy. You seem like a very nice girl. You know, annoying. But overall nice.

58:51Ben Mandelker: yeah okay you don't need more lessons unless actually the lesson take our lessons listen to our lessons um so now uh alex and san are hauling in the jet ski with the the strap 2.0 which is not like the perfect strap but it's gonna do it's it's it's gonna strap it up and they also have like an engine a nameless engineer there to help them out and and it's coming up and it's like whoa it's gonna fall it's gonna fall but it's up and they get they bring it on board and it's a big deal because they saved the jet ski, essentially. So Kerry now is in the galley and he's like, listen, listen here. You're going to have a good meal tonight.

59:27Ben Mandelker: You're going to do it just right. Nothing's going to go wrong. You're going to pay attention to every single person's allergies and you're definitely not going to try to kill the person who's the biggest pain in the ass on this entire charter. Okay, you got this. You can do it. And just to make sure, be there entertaining them with my stories. of adventure. Like today, we didn't have a strap, and then someone figured out how to do it with a wooden duck and a noodle.

59:57Ben Mandelker: I was like, yeah, tonight the menu was simple. The people are complicated. They want to show off their palates or something, you know, this and that. Like, what are you going to do? You know, I don't need to be mad at it. I just have to, at the end of the day, I just got to make it. Okay, so the girl who's allergic to strawberries, I'll give her strawberries. The girl who wants glass noodles, I'll just throw them back at the jet ski, and we're set. It's going to be perfect. uh welcome welcome everyone to melanie's birthday and they're like oh god well what is this bread it's the same bread over and over that we got oh can we get a different kind of bread oh god the same freshly baked bread over and over again so uh they all they're all complaining they're ready to just go to town and then carrie jump sits down and then they're all quiet and just like muttering and just giving each other glances like uh honestly i think you should just let them complain because that this is actually where their joy was and you could see they were sitting there like oh i guess we have to make other conversation we're so excited to complain tonight and now we can't do that like that was actually their joy Yes, and Mo comes out in the T-shirt He doesn't put on his chef coat I was shocked They're going to take some issue with Honestly, it was bad I was like, he's just walking out in this T-shirt He didn't put on his jacket Especially when he knows that they're mad at him I was a little surprised Yeah, and Carrie's like Oh, the food is amazing There shouldn't be complaints at all And my plan is working No one's going to talk shit We're on there So Fraser's like oh the guests are very happy you know i guess it's having captain at the table that was a good call and then mo makes these cheese cheese plates which quite frankly they look like the cheese plates you get like on an airplane when you have to we can buy like the pringles the chicken sandwich or the cheese platter and you get like the little the the rectangular box that has like a few wedges of cheese and some grapes on top it did not look like a beautiful refined, delicious like ooh, it's a triple cream and oh, look at this Gouda and this, you know, it was just like here's some slabs of cheese stacked with some grapes on the side and a little little ramekin of strawberry jam Well, and it didn't even have that yet because he puts out the cheese plate and then Fraser's like, oh, by the way could we have some jam?

1:02:29Just add some jam to that and then we cut to an open jar of strawberry jam. Dun, dun, dun. Do you think Fraser knew? What about Big Jam? I mean, I don't get certain things from the provisioner. Do you think Fraser knew that there was some strawberry jam

1:02:46Ben Mandelker: and he's like, by the way? No, I actually don't think so. I think there were probably some other options. Look, they clearly are making charcuterie when the guests come on board. There's clearly lots of different options. There has to be more than strawberry jam. And also, I feel like strawberry jam is not a customary jam to put with cheese. Maybe it is. I think that's usually like a fig jam or a quince jam or a quince something or another. I don't know. I don't know. I was not impressed. I would have gotten along with those guests. Grape jelly and monster tea is if you really want to live it up.

1:03:22So then Fraser's like, what kind of jam did you serve? And he's like, apricot and strawberry. Why is like, oh no, everyone listen to me Very carefully Birthday girl is allergic to strawberries She has strawberry jam in front of her This is a disaster Sweetheart

1:03:40Ben Mandelker: And then they all stand around It's like, oh no She has strawberry jam Hmm, let me say something else Hello, did you hear that she has A jam in front of her that could kill her Wow Okay, I'm just gonna go check out on something in a different room I'm like, why is no one running up there right away to clear this jam? Were you screaming at the TV, like, get up there, get up there? I was cracking up because Fraser is really not good at this. I mean, a lot of the service, he's just not great with the service stuff, I'm sorry. And he's like, I actually can't face it. I don't want to go up there. So Rainbow has to go.

1:04:16And it's like, yeah, I'm just going to grab this jam because it's strawberry jam. So, excuse me. It's like, oh yeah, I saw that. What are they trying to kill me? God, strawberries right on my plate. God, it's like the third time.

1:04:31Ben Mandelker: There is a question, which is that Fraser did obviously see that there was this jam that was not the right color that may be strawberry. Was he bringing the cheese out? Did he see the plates going by? Where was he as the chief stew to say, wait a second, before we send these up, what's going on with that jam? Like he actually shoulders some responsibility in this, I believe. Well, he's the one who said, we need the jam. And then they cut to the jar of the strawberry jam. So, I don't know. But strawberry jam is pretty recognizable, usually. So, Carrie's like, uh-oh, Mo messed up. This is serious.

1:05:11And if this was a peanut allergy, he'd be gone. But a strawberry allergy, I don't know, sounds like bullshit. He didn't say that. But he was very much like, on the list of allergies, I don't know that this is I haven't heard this one a lot and that ladies are painted in the ass

1:05:27Ben Mandelker: a fucker Listen peanut allergy Deathly serious strawberry allergy Comedy I mean really let's be honest about it Am I right everyone high five High five Fraser comes up to Melanie he's like So how was your cheese She's like oh Aside from trying to kill me with strawberries He's like yes you know what I'll take that back but I am still rooting for strawberries. We all are, honestly. So Carrie, Team Strawberry. So now the guests are in their cabins and Carolyn, who is, between Carolyn and Melani, Carolyn's like the nicer one to your face but now she's complaining and behind in the cabin and she goes, you know, Melani and I were very specific that we wanted a noodle dish and like, I don't mean to be rude, but do not walk to the table at dinner service with a dirty t-shirt on.

1:06:29And Robbie just says it plain. He's like, that dinner sucks. Like, oh, honey, could you please put me down? Stop trying to lift me with your feet. He's like, I invented it. So now it's the last day of Charter, and it's 5.50 in the morning, and everyone's waking up. And Matt's like, Carrie, the tech crew will make you proud today. have you seen me do the slide yet

1:06:56Ben Mandelker: and then Robbie you know says he pulls Fraser to the side and he's like listen Fraser buddy one thing that I think you should know is that the chef met with the girls for the menu last night and they agreed that he was going to make noodles and stuff like that and then he didn't even do it so it's like the guy just does his own thing you know I don't know I mean it would be one thing if he got onto my feet and we toss them around like an acro yoga doll, but he's not even willing to do that. So, like, what's the upside for us? Oh, yes, I do apologize. We'll make sure everyone's in a good place with the chef.

1:07:31Toodaloo. Toodaloo now. So Fraser is like, so mo. You know how yesterday they discussed those noodles to be added to the dinner? He's like, oh, no. Whoops. Slipped my mind. Well, I just want you to acknowledge that you forgot about the noodles. So if we can be held accountable for, if we can be accountable for our mistakes, that's the least that we can do. Now go off with your noodle apology. I'll be watching with a smile.

1:07:59Ben Mandelker: He's like, yeah, these guests were difficult off the rip. You know, you feel me? They had me like a little stressed and I messed up once or twice. I'm not perfect, you know. I used to always blame people for all my mess ups, but that's not going to get me anywhere. So I started taking accountability. You know what? So guess what? I'm going to take glass noodle accountability. So Mo comes out to the guests. and he's like uh yeah i'm really sorry i didn't mean to i i slept my mind the glass noodles i know you asked for it but uh my bad okay and milani's like i accept your apology and carolyn's like she's not even saying anything and then um and then and then in the very next scene i'm not even the next scene but in the next second carolyn's like oh god you know what this onions On this dish are just too fragrant Please get it away from them They're onions

1:08:51Ben Mandelker: Doesn't Malani try to add something Oh and here's another thing that was wrong And Carolyn just like waves her off Don't say it

1:09:01So Robbie's like Well breakfast is better than I thought it would be So I don't know These guests it's not like they're wrong They have legitimate complaints But they're kind of like the little girl who cried strawberry you know it's like you're everything everything's so such a complaint to you guys that no one really even cares when he gets her up the strawberries yeah so then um now uh carrie sees

1:09:28Ben Mandelker: that the jet ski's on board and he's impressed and um and then alex uh he goes and he puts the garbage in that like cubby hole thing which is also where they have to like flake or fluke the anchor whatever they say and i think it's they whatever they got the pole that they gotta when the anchor comes up they gotta like do the thing with the chain they gotta prod the chains that way it doesn't get tangled and so they're doing this and um sen is what the anchor's coming up and sen is watching over alex while he does the thing with the chain to make sure he's safe and everything and matt's like put down the anchor ball take down the anchor ball but the anchor ball has to come down do it now and she's like no i'm not going to because like he's down there I don't want him to hurt his hand.

1:10:11Ben Mandelker: And he's like, but take the ball down. I mean, this is crazy. The anchor's at the waterline. Why are you not taking down the ball? And she's like, no, but he's down there. And so they have this whole fight about the anchor ball and the chain. And basically the whole idea. Yeah, and she's worried about somebody's safety. She's like, this is actually really dangerous. And he's like, oh, it's just like a green tech car. And she should listen. Listen, you've been doing this six years, and you're still trying to get someone to make you a bosun. There's something off with this guy. and this is a bad this is very bad when they're like safety safety fuck his hand put down the anchor ball let anchor let let alex come out of that cubby hall with the garbage and the chain in fact why don't you do the garbage and the chain job where you could risk losing your arm and also have to sit in garbage while you do this and uh then we'll talk okay because the ball can come down afterwards that's not the biggest the whole thing with the ball is that it's supposed to show people what that you are anchored versus unanchored or something like that like the ball it's okay if there's like a 30 second delay on that ball well i mean it's preferable to someone you know losing their hand or whatever and i just like that sen isn't going to be pushed around because this is the kind of guy that's just always doing this to anybody around that i'm the boss i'm the boss i'm the boss you're not the boss and i like that she was like no you know he's my lead deck count but there's somebody above him and i'm not gonna do it yeah uh in the wheelhouse uh it's like all right everyone deckies gather around there's a lot of wind and guess what we're gonna transverse thrust on this boat are you ready to transverse all right we're gonna do it and alex is like oh no it's not gonna be easy this is gonna be hard what if i get fired oh no so they are tense about that and then in the pantry um rainbow is like so what i like to do is with um with a ice bucket i like to put in just a little bit of water so just putting that out there and you can take my advice or not so yeah so rosa i just thought i would help you learn to fill an ice bucket so first you take this it's a bucket okay you've seen buckets but they're different when you put wine and stuff in them they're usually metal or something so you get those and then you what are you gonna put in there don't even answer me because i know you don't know but it's write it down it's ice okay you put ice in there and she's so fucking condescending and rose is like whatever and she just walks away from her and she's like oh my god i'm not a child it's mad patronizing yeah and rainbow's like you know she's so hot in code and i can't even deal with hot and cold.

1:12:51Ben Mandelker: So then the transverse thrusting works out really well because guess what they dock and it's fine. And Kerry says, that was a great docking from the deck team and right now Alex is showing that he deserves a place on the boat. He knows how to do the job. He's just on the back foot and I'm looking forward to him doing a better job next charter.

1:13:15And now we get the guest critiques which I was shocked at how nice they were. I mean, they were just like, all right, you know what? Like, we had some problems with some of the food, but otherwise, great. You guys are great. And as they walk away, Carolyn's like, great, Robbie. You still sugarcoated it. Good job, Robbie. She's like, great, thanks. So now I need somebody to go out there and say her inner thoughts out loud for her. Stop being such a wuss, Carolyn. Okay? That's why you're surrounding yourself with people like Robbie and Melani, because you really want to be like that, but you don't have the nerve to say it.

1:13:53Stop using horrible people as your crutch and fly your horrible person flag on your own. Be proud, horrible people. That's right.

1:14:02Ben Mandelker: So they're doing some cleaning before the tip meeting and a rainbow is fluffing a pillow and she's talking to Matt and she's like, you know what we should do as one English person to a non-English person from South Africa? we should sit together at dinner tonight and I would like to get to know you more he's like sure I'm doing so then Kaylee you know she then tells Kaylee by the way I asked I hope it's okay but I asked to sit next to your man tonight at dinner and Kaylee's like I really was it she's like well I just want to get a known better I know everyone else on the crew but he's the only one I haven't really talked to so I'm wondering underhanded Rainbow and Matt would actually be perfect because they're both little underminers she knows what he's doing Be like, oh, just ask if I can sit with your man at dinner.

1:14:48I mean, it's not like I'm trying to steal your man or anything. Really, because we know you're just trying to make this girl cry. Because no one I don't think has ever done this. Like, you know what? We should, like, sit together at dinner tonight. Get to know each other. We've never talked. It's so weird.

1:15:05Ben Mandelker: That is really. It's a weird move. So now it's time for the tip meeting. And it's like, well, I never thought that child away. And we had a few things rattling us with the chef this trip, you know, but a bit of a rough one, mate, you know? He's like, yeah, you know, dropped the ball a bit. Yeah, at least it wasn't a strip. You know what I mean? Sam, that was for you. You know, I think the deck team dropped the ball in a few areas pretty bad. At the end of the day, get nothing for nothing. I think we could have all done a little bit better. Now, the tip is$19 trillion. Like, oh, my God, we're rich.

1:15:42is 33 ,333 USD. Wow. So I don't know if that's an acro spirit number or what? An acro angel number? I kind of felt like everyone was surprised

1:15:54Ben Mandelker: that these miserable people gave such a good tip. But a lot of times, miserable people will give, they'll either give the worst tip or the best tip because the best tip is that way they can clear their conscious. They say, no, it's very nice. I gave a really good tip. And they were awful all the way up until the tip. But also, I feel like those guys came on trying to push acro yoga on us really, really hard. And if they gave a bad tip, then that would look bad for their business. Like, oh, my God, the acro yoga guys, I will never go to their studio. They were bad tippers, you know? Keepo yoga.

1:16:28Ben Mandelker: I think they were highly motivated to give a good tip to make their business look good because they're doing all this effort to promote it on the show. Yeah. so Carrie adjourns the meeting and then James and Matt are talking about this too and James is like oh are we planning on getting wigged out tonight? Matt's like I don't know see how I feel let's talk about Rosa for a second though or you can just fucking bite the bullet and kiss her get her and then Kaylee tells Rosa what Rainbow said and Kaylee is like so Rainbow she asked to sit next to Matt tonight and I was like yeah I don't care and Rosa's like but she's got a boyfriend and but she's cheated on previous partners know that and kaylee's like yeah but so is matt keep an eye man keep an eye look out for the red flags but rosa also maybe you too should keep an eye out on the like piece of cardboard that you're trying to get with who already is with another piece of cardboard yeah uh so kaylee's like but what if i look dramatic like a bitch i mean what if it's my own trauma how do you differentiate it like is she being being in a room i just traumatized oh i can't get out what is my trauma and what is real it's not your it's not babe it's not your trauma babe and kaylee's like oh i generally think that she's moving really bad i'm just kind of uncomfortable because she's my second stone and i just like it really brings up a lot of jealousy or a bit of insecurity and i'll just have trouble for what pass and now she's like crying i'm also like okay get a grip lady you've known this guy for like three days and it's not like yeah it's underhanded underhanded of rainbow but this is nothing to cry over please yeah and rainbow is being shitty and this guy will probably also be shitty too so maybe that's just one of the things like why am i always surrounded by shitty people to which i say because you're surrounded by humanity okay so yeah get your shields up.

1:18:28And so she's like, I just don't want to be embarrassed. You're not going to be embarrassed, babe.

1:18:34Ben Mandelker: I like that Rosa calls her Sugar Plum. She goes, Sugar Plum, what's going on? Go sit on the bed right now. Go. That's where good little girls sit to stop crying, Sugar Plum. Yeah, so Rosa knows what Rainbow's doing. And she's like, that's not a go, girl, and I don't trust her. You need to set precedent as second stew. Behave better. so now we go to crew cabins and everyone's done working and they're getting dressed to go to dinner and matt and james are talking about and matt's like fucking bitches and cleaning teak it's my motto for the summer that's what i say and james is like except we're not really cleaning the teak it's like all fucking bitches and then uh mo facetimes his daughter and they have a cute little scene together and we have we find that you know he's like my daughter keeps me young I had her when I was 19 and now she's 19 and I'm a girl dad I was like okay whenever I hear someone say I'm a girl dad I'm like okay I think it's the most trite thing of all time I'm like okay I get it this seems like a very sweet moment and scene but like I just can't stand when people say girl dad girl dad so we the crew finishes getting dressed and stuff and james just keeps changing his clothes it's like that's not perfect i need this one to be perfect maybe this one will show more of my personality so um now they're meeting on the dock and people on the dock start people they're wasted there's some wasted people and they start cat calling because they see a camera crew and they see them coming out all dressed up And so some guy starts harassing them.

1:20:18Yeah. Outside the boat.

1:20:20Ben Mandelker: And Mo decides to stay at the back of the group to, like, he's like, to sort of protect. And he's like, he's like, I'm a little bit of a Peter Parker and I sense bullshit. And then they show on the screen, like, an arrow pointing to some, like, drunk British guys. He's like, the bullshit. And so they're, like, these people are, like, coming around and, like, harassing them. And Rosa's telling Mo, like, oh, God, someone's, like, running behind us. And she goes, these English people, they don't leave us alone. And most of the crew are just not talking to them, engaging at all. Like, not even getting involved.

1:20:52Ben Mandelker: And they just keep on poking and they keep poking and they just start really stepping over the time. Although actually Rosa seems to be talking to them. They keep cutting to Rosa sort of engaging with them. And Mo is finally like, why are you disrespectful, bro? Like, what's going on? Because then a guy asked if there was any, like, if any of the girls were freebies, implying that they're like prostitutes or something like that. God, this guy was such a pig. and also worse production. You just let them walk around and get harassed like that? That's nuts. The housewives would never. They need to do something, but they don't.

1:21:23The women are the ones who are, Mo and the women are the ones who are like, please stop. The guys are just ignoring it.

1:21:30Ben Mandelker: Rose is like, you don't have to be a twat. Please don't have a step. Please leave us alone. Don't be a twat, which I enjoyed. And then Rainbow goes, please leave us alone. You're making me really uncomfortable. bowl which you know actually is fair i'm not making fun of her saying that but i just enjoyed that rose's rose's version is you're a twat and rumba's like so then um then that's when mo steps in and he's like he likes he gets really he's like he starts like getting upset at them he pulls off his belt wraps around his fist it's like oh no and that's where we leave it off you're about to get punched with a docker's belt around a wrist the pleather knuckle but good for him what the hell with production that sucks come on you guys this shouldn't be your cast having to get in fights with people's bizarre yeah so we'll see what happens with these idiots on the dock uh next week but until then happy sailing everyone you better come see us in philadelphia and dc and we'll talk about it there.

1:22:35Ben Mandelker: Well, we won't, but we'll, you can talk to us about it if you cross paths with us. And we will catch you on the next episode of Watch What Crappens. Bye. Bye. Watch What Crappens would like to thank its premium sponsors. We are adamant about Adam Nerzer. Ain't no thing like Alison King. Our way is the Amber way. It's the Foster and the Furious. It's Amanda Foster. It's Always Automatic with Ashley Otto. Put your hands together for Carly Clap. Get on the right foot with Chrissy Offit. She's not just a Sheila, she's a Daniela. Itchles! We never miss her call, it's Diane Call. Big yay, it's Emily Gauthier.

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1:23:53Yes, we canna, it's Sadana.

1:23:55Ben Mandelker: Cast a spell with Shannon Spellman. Let's share with Sharon Eldridge. Don't get mixed signals, we love Signy. Darn Skippy, it's Tippi. And our super premium sponsors. She's VVIP, it's Amanda V. Somebody get us 10 cc's of BetsyMD. We're taking the gold with Brenda Silva. Let's get real with Caitlin O 'Neill. Put us on a stretcher, it's Charlotte Fletcher. Hoagel your horses, it's Christine Hoagel. Don't get salty with Christine Pepper. Can't have a meal without the Emily sides. Who, what, why, where, and Gwen Pentland. Nobody holds a candle to Jamie Kendall Nothing can take the placing of Jason We got our wish, it's Jen Plish My favorite Murdo, Karen McMurdo Let's get savage with Laura Wildman In the study with a candlestick, it's Leslie Peacock We're ride or die for Lisa Ryder Barron She's a whiz, it's Liz Sarthy Always killing it, it's Lola Alkalani Roger that, it's Marlis Rogers The incredible edible Matthews sisters She eases our woes It's Melissa St.

1:25:00Rose There's a chance of meatballs It's Rebecca Cloud She's our princess It's Rebecca Prince She's the Queen Bee It's Sarah Lemke We cannot tell a lie It's Sarah Talithson Yes we canna It's Savannah

1:25:13Ben Mandelker: Shannon out of a cannon Anthony We have no notes Shelby Walter Please don't stop It's Soli and Pop Let's take off with Tam La Plaine Strike a pose It's Tori Rose She ain't no shrinking Violet Kuchar. We love you guys.

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