#3607 RHOSLC S7E8 Part One: The Youngish and the Reiki-less Live from DC

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3:00Ben Mandelker: happens when there's so much that happens.

3:06Hello!

3:09Ben Mandelker: Washington, D.C. Yes!

3:15Ronnie Karam: Yes! Hello! Oh, my God, I'm already... I'm already limp. I just got up here. My mic is already limp on the table. Ha-ha! Hello, you gorgeous center of the country, Washington. Hello, D.C.

3:33Ben Mandelker: What a week to be here in D.C. We brought the crappens blue.

3:42Ben Mandelker: I asked my cousin Lauren is here. Hi, cousin Lauren. I was like, you know, if we mentioned that there was a blue wave, would that be okay in D.C.? She's like, I think...

3:59Ben Mandelker: She said it would be well received.

4:03Ronnie Karam: It's always such gloom with the good news as well. I was like, oh, wow, that's a great week. No one can get me down. And then I opened the news and they're like, well, Stephen Miller, are we going to start a rusting journalist? I was like, for fuck's sake, can we have two days? Can we have two fucking days?

4:23Ben Mandelker: It is really fun coming to D.C. because you know like in la every building is like 22 seconds old and here there's like all these old buildings and there's all this official stuff happening all the time and i was walking to lunch and there were all these police cars and all these barricades up and i was like oh my god there's gonna be a motorcade or a parade or a protest i was like it's real it's all happening and then doors opened up and 10 ,000 Capitals fans came out of an arena. I was like, oh, it's sports fans. I thought I was about to witness history.

5:04Ronnie Karam: There are some things I just want to vote against and nobody even cares about it. I mean, there's a lot that we need to get done, I guess. So me getting upset at iPads and hotel lobbies is probably not on the top of the list. But this hotel we're staying at, you get to the registration, and there's a really long line, which, of course, I'm going to bitch about it. And so I was like, well, this line. Well, both of us, actually. We are definitely like an old lady couple. Well, this line is taking so long. I wish I had some more employees to deal with this line. We are that. We are that old couple now.

5:40Ronnie Karam: Well, the reason it was taking so long is because they do have employees, but the people at the front desk stand there, and then they watch you as you enter stuff onto an iPad. This is true. Guys, nobody knows how to work a fucking iPad. It's like my dad. Like, how do you turn it on? I said, touch it. That's the people at the front. And then, of course, I'm furious, you know, and I get up there and it's my turn and I'm like, why won't the name go into the thing? Why isn't this working correctly? I'm trying to tap my iPhone to it. I'm like, donk, donk.

6:20Ben Mandelker: It's literally an idiotic system. You have someone standing right there, and instead of you saying, hello, my name is Ben Mandelker, and they go, like that, and one second, they're like, okay, just enter it on the iPad in front of me. So I'm like, okay, but then the screen comes up, and because iPad, you can't type, you have to be like, boop, boop. I mean, that's the way my dad types, like that. But you have to do that one at a time, and then you mess up, and you hit the wrong screen, and then you become the person you've made fun of for the past 15 minutes.

6:47Ronnie Karam: Well, that's so true. That's the thing. You become your parent, and you didn't even realize that you were your parent. You know, just put a little red wig on me, and I would have just been standing there, well, I could appreciate some more service. And while I'm paying taxes, I would appreciate someone working check-in. God damn it. But we did it, and it was all worth it to be here with you. I know, it was. And also, back at the Lincoln.

7:13Ben Mandelker: I know, this is one of our greatest stops on our tour every single year coming to DC, this is one of our biggest shows also we have to give a big shout out to the restaurant Rye Bunny here in town yes have you guys heard of the restaurant Rye Bunny? did you guys know that the owner of Rye Bunny is a huge Watch for Crappens fan? so go visit that restaurant and shout out to the people who came up to us coincidentally who were in the restaurant last night who said hi and said they were coming to the show So are you there? Hi. Thank you.

7:46Ronnie Karam: Party. That food was delicious. Okay. All of this said, what a fucking episode of Salt Lake City. Oh, my gosh. Now, we have some luck when we come into D.C. We get to do some of the darkest shit ever here. I don't know what it is. Yeah. I think the darkest was the Holocaust Museum episode that we did. Yeah, we did that here.

8:12Ben Mandelker: It was the Holocaust episode.

8:14Ronnie Karam: Where Doreen was like, hey. We've done a lot of them here. And this episode of Salt Lake City started. And I was like, oh my god. Instant iconic episode. Finally, poor DC doesn't have to deal with this.

8:28Ben Mandelker: What could go wrong in an episode of Salt Lake City?

8:34Ronnie Karam: I was telling Ben, you know, in what we do, it's not like we never get booed. But normally when you boo us, I can't hear your ass. What the fuck do I care? I'll just swipe you away. Swipe you off my screen. Yeah. I'm going to hear you tonight. Real life.

8:50Ben Mandelker: Well, it's kind of like Tina Turner, right? We're going to start this recap nice and easy. And then we're going to get nice and rough.

9:00Ronnie Karam: Yes. But they do it so well on this show because it's so dark and they all look so fucking ridiculous at the same time. Yeah. Like, what are you wearing? this is how to fight each other to the death you know like sunglasses this big hot pink you know a leather jacket that doesn't match your jeans you know and it does raise a very

9:21Ben Mandelker: fake fur from home goods dangling off

9:23Ronnie Karam: of you like a pashrina

9:25Ben Mandelker: shaking all around and it does raise a very important existential question which is why can't I just get a facial

9:34Ronnie Karam: I can't get a facial one of the most traumatic scenes of the year on Housewives and the words were I can't get a face job

9:46Ben Mandelker: I mean I think we all as Bravo viewers watch this episode and we're just like okay it's another like Salt Lake City fighting crazy yeah

9:57Ben Mandelker: so we're excited

9:58Ronnie Karam: I laughed I cried I was literally in the bed like oh my god

10:05Ben Mandelker: I'm mad at myself for crying. I know. I was really upset because I love Angie and Mary together, and it breaks my heart that they are having this fight. But, you know, reality TV, shit's going to happen.

10:18Ronnie Karam: It's kind of like any relationship, though. You know, like when you're talking to your friend, and they're like, my relationship sucks, and you're like, well, get out of it. That's always my advice. It's not always what I'm saying, but it's always what you're hearing, even if I'm not saying it. You know, I'm judging your ass anyway. And then five years later, you're like, well, I told you to get rid of it, and you're still here. This is the case of Angie and Mary. You're both kind of terrible in so many ways. You had to know that the other person was going to be terrible to you. You're Angie. You're terrible.

10:51Ronnie Karam: You're Mary. You're also terrible. This show actually gives us the freedom to not, I don't know, something that really is worrisome in life is being like, what's right? what's wrong and this show no one's right no so that makes it a little bit easier you're just

11:09Ben Mandelker: like who's wronger yeah exactly well welcome to watch what crap it's a podcast about all that crap on bravo that we just love to talk about and i will say amusingly that wendy's sent us a care package that arrived yesterday in Los Angeles. So thank you, corporate people, for listening to us. All right.

11:37Ronnie Karam: Previously on the Real Housewives of Salt Lake City. Ladies, welcome to my Jupiter party.

11:52Ronnie Karam: It's the one time every 12 years that my astrological sign banks guys they hired from Angie's list.

12:00Ben Mandelker: Yay.

12:04Ben Mandelker: Brandon, it's your first time seeing the ladies since Meredith and Lisa humiliated me at my own party with their terrible music. You ready to stand up for me?

12:13Ronnie Karam: Oh, wait, Meredith and Lisa, are they going to be at this party? No. No. I can't! Hypocrisy and bullshit. Bullshit. Bullshit. Bullshit. Fuck. Mm-mm-mm-mm-mm. Whitney, Lisa Barlow said that you used your personal problems to garner sympathy.

12:35Ben Mandelker: It is true. Lisa said it. Hey

12:41Ronnie Karam: Lisa I can't believe you would say That I hide behind my problems When I have an alcoholic storyline now What?

12:53Ben Mandelker: You've been like an alcoholic for years Thank you

12:58Ronnie Karam: Skills of justices

13:01Ben Mandelker: Oh no I didn't want drama at my Jupiter party

13:06Ronnie Karam: Hey guys, it's Brittany. What about me?

13:12Ben Mandelker: I'm not going to speak to someone who accused my husband of having a family.

13:19Ronnie Karam: Well, good to see you, Meredith. Fuck off, family ruiner. Oh no, drama in the sisterhood.

13:30Ben Mandelker: Bronwyn, did you hear what Lisa Barlow said about you behind your back?

13:37Ronnie Karam: Angie, I do not want to hear it. Do not tell me what she said behind my back. I really do not want to hear it. I have long extensions now. I'm in a very good relationship. I do not want any drama in my life.

13:46Ben Mandelker: Well, I am going to tell you what she said.

13:49Ronnie Karam: Do not tell me what she said. Absolutely do not tell me.

13:52Ben Mandelker: I am going to tell you. I am going to tell you.

13:54Ronnie Karam: In three, two, one. Do not tell me. Do not tell me.

13:59Ben Mandelker: Lisa Barlow said that Brandon is just a fake relationship and you pay him to be your boyfriend and he's really just a flesh montage that made.

14:12Ben Mandelker: Hi guys, it's me, Brittany.

14:17Ronnie Karam: Shut up, Brittany.

14:20Ben Mandelker: Why is everyone mad at me tonight?

14:26Ronnie Karam: I'm scrolling through myself.

14:28Ben Mandelker: I just don't know why everyone is mean to me, Brittany Bateman.

14:34Ronnie Karam: Because you stole my flowers. You stole my flowers so you could get into old people's wills at nursing homes.

14:44Ben Mandelker: I earned my way into those wills.

14:48Ronnie Karam: Do not cry. Do not cry, Brittany. Here, have an ice cream cone. Oh, thank you. Where did you get this? from your hair and scene.

15:07Ben Mandelker: Oh.

15:08Ronnie Karam: You go, girl.

15:10Ben Mandelker: Finally, theater comes back to DC.

15:20Ben Mandelker: Anyway.

15:22Ronnie Karam: The wrong thing opened. You see, I told you, I don't know how to work a fucking iPad. I spent the first 10 minutes of this bitching about people not being able to work their iPad, and I get up here, and I'm like, why?

15:34Ben Mandelker: He really is.

15:36Ronnie Karam: Go back! Go back! My zip code is...

15:40Ben Mandelker: Oh. My zip code is David. Okay.

15:45Ronnie Karam: David, David, David, dash. By the way... David, David, David.

15:49Ben Mandelker: I do want to say... By the way, another reason why you should really be thanking Cousin Lauren is because she texted me about two weeks ago and said, Ben, please, will you do Salt Lake City in D.C.? Because we were naturally going to do O.C. tonight because the end of the week... Listen. What is this, town hall? Like, what is this like? We don't want a highway!

16:13Ronnie Karam: This is where we make change. And this is when we cancelled Real Housewives of Orange County.

16:20Ben Mandelker: Orange County sucks, but it's very fun for us to do those voices. And if you really think about it, this may be the last time we ever got to do the voices for Gina, Emily, Jen, Carmella, and so many others. Yeah. But anyway, the only reason I wanted to bring that up was, like, it was a bad season, but in some ways it was worth it just to hear Heather end that reunion with, maybe, maybe I just need friends who are successful and secure, and that just might not be you. I was like... It was so good.

16:56Ronnie Karam: How could y 'all? I'm in real estate. It's time for a commercial. It's time for a Crappens commercial.

17:07Ben Mandelker: The best pieces in your closet are the ones you can count on, whether you're heading to work, going out, or keeping things casual. And this time of year, Quince makes finding something great for everyone just as easy. This holiday season, it's where I'm shopping for myself and everyone on my list.

17:21Ronnie Karam: Quince focuses on high-quality staples made with premium materials like 100 % Mongolian cashmere, 14-karat gold, and Italian leather. All timeless, versatile pieces that feel special to unwrap and become everyday favorites long after the holidays.

17:37Ben Mandelker: Ronnie, I just got two fabulous button-down shirts from Quince. One was their famous, you know, Mongolian cashmere that everyone always knows about with Quince. and you can also see me wearing it on our YouTube show, What's Your Order, which I do an episode with Kempire and I'm wearing my Quince shirt and I love it.

17:54Ronnie Karam: When it comes to gifting, Quince has a lot more than clothing. Think fine jewelry, leather bags, hotel quality bedding, chef grade cookware and five-star luggage. Basically, plenty of ways to find something special for everyone on your list.

18:07Ben Mandelker: Give the gift of quality this holiday season. Download the Quince app for app exclusive offers or go to quince.com. Get free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. now available in Canada and the UK too. And when Quince asks where you heard about them, let them know it was, watch our crappins. It's the best way to support the show.

18:24Ronnie Karam: I'm sick of things stressing me out. The other day I was running late and nearly ran over an armadillo. I felt so bad.

18:30Ben Mandelker: I'll tell you about stress. Imagine performing a cabaret 10 times a week.

18:35Ronnie Karam: Or learning a 17th language like French Peruvian. Bon Gisissimo.

18:41Ben Mandelker: This is why I watch so much TV. And Amazon Prime definitely comes in handy.

18:45Ronnie Karam: It's a great way to shift your mood.

18:47Ben Mandelker: Yeah, but everyone's always like recommending a million shows. Like you got to watch this, you got to watch that. I'm at a point where I don't say, what do I have to watch? Now I'm all about how do I want to feel?

18:57Ronnie Karam: Yeah, the feeling I chase is dark and moody. That's why I go towards crime shows.

19:01Ben Mandelker: Oh, I'm a comedy girly. I will rewatch the same comedy over and over again because it's so comforting to me. Or actually, sometimes it's actually sports. There are times where I don't even care about the teams. I just like being part of a live event, especially with some snacks.

19:14Ronnie Karam: Snacks are a part of the feeling. I love a cracker.

19:17Ben Mandelker: So here's where I'm all about Prime. You can have your shows, your movies, your sports, but you also get fast shipping on the things we like to have when we watch stuff, like the perfect snack, conveniently delivered right to your door for a recap-worthy watch session.

19:32Ronnie Karam: That's how Prime gives us the power to just not find the feeling we crave, but also to let us experience it to the fullest.

19:39Ben Mandelker: I'm having 30 to 40 positive feelings.

19:41Ronnie Karam: Wow! Shows you can't wait for, deliveries you don't wait for.

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20:52Ronnie Karam: all right so this is season seven episode eight of salt lake city rake it over the coals we start with probably the best scene of any show that's ever been showed Lisa Van uh Lisa Vanderpump Lisa sorry oh they tried that again god bless their hearts sorry Lisa I tried with that Lisa Barlow and her vocal coach and something of course

21:22Ben Mandelker: yeah something I didn't realize when I watched the show yeah was that she's at a place called Vibe House. Yeah.

21:31Ronnie Karam: It's Vibe House Studios, but it's like vibes in German because it's H-A-U-S.

21:37Ben Mandelker: Yeah, a vibe lives here. Yes.

21:41Ronnie Karam: It's like a vibe.

21:43Ben Mandelker: It's a vibe that's living here.

21:45Ronnie Karam: It's like a vibe.

21:46Ben Mandelker: My vibe went on House Hunters and chose house number two.

21:51Ronnie Karam: It's close to the town center.

21:54Ben Mandelker: Easy commute from work. but not as many bathrooms as my bath but my vibe wants it

22:01Ronnie Karam: and working with my vocal coach Carrie cause like what else do you do this poor Carrie oh god bless her heart she should be a waiter of some kind she will sit there and smile in your face the whole restaurant's on fire she's just like you're doing great this is great but how do you feel

22:22Ben Mandelker: I kind of get the feeling like Carrie is normally the one who's teaching the kids how to sing Amazing Grace in Utah. And they're like, hey, lady, could you do a scene, like a vocal warm-up? She's like, sure, sure. Okay, we're bringing in Lisa Barlow.

22:37Ronnie Karam: You can blame Carrie for each mess of Amazing Grace that we've heard on this show. Well, you know, I don't think it's nice to blame Carrie.

22:44Ben Mandelker: No, but we will.

22:46Ronnie Karam: Listen, you're encouraging it, and that's about enough. So Lisa's like, you know what? I've been singing since I was a little girl. Lisa? Ever since you've been a little girl, people have been saying, Shh. Stop singing.

23:02Ben Mandelker: Also, everyone's been singing since they were a little girl. I've been singing since I was a little girl, and this is how I sing. Amazing Grace. Do you know I tried out for my college acapella? I did. It was freshman year. Sorry. We don't have to do a recap tonight. Don't be sorry.

23:20Ronnie Karam: Are you kidding? Are you apologizing for confessing to an acapella career? Wait, you weren't in an acapella band?

23:27Ben Mandelker: Yeah. No, you weren't. No, this is, well.

23:30Ronnie Karam: You don't get to tell me that 15 years in. Like, well, I was part of an acapella group.

23:34Ben Mandelker: Well, this is what happened. So I, it was freshman year. I was like, it was my second day on campus. And when, at my school, like when you're a little freshman, all these different clubs come up to you and they're like, hey, do you want to be in this? Do you want to be in the humor society? Do you want to be, do you want to do like racquetball?

23:50Ronnie Karam: It's like the Jehovah's kind of. Acapella people. Look at your ass.

23:54Ben Mandelker: the acapella group the Dartmouth Chords was like hey why don't you come to auditions and I was like well I'm not really a singer like come anyway I was like okay so I just showed up I didn't realize I had to actually have like a song prepared so I came in and I was like I saw people are auditioning I was like I don't have a song like it's okay just sing America the beautiful I was like okay so I started seeing them like oh beautiful for spacious skies and then I realized I don't know the rest of his lyrics. And I started going, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

24:33Ben Mandelker: And I did that for five minutes and that was the end of my acapella career.

24:37Ronnie Karam: Five minutes? It's a lot to just let you flounder up there with America. They're just like, LOL. Just let him keep going.

24:45Ben Mandelker: I was in the zone at that point. They were trying to get me off. I was like, Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

24:54Ronnie Karam: Away in a manger, no crib for a bed. I've been singing since I was a little girl. Yeah, I've been singing since I was a little girl. I would just love to stand on our swing set in the backyard.

25:07Ben Mandelker: Why was she standing on the swing set to sing?

25:11Ronnie Karam: Standing on the swing set. Is it the swing squeaking or is that our daughter singing? What is it? You just hear.

25:31Ronnie Karam: I live next to a park, and that is the scariest noise in the middle of the night. It's just one swing going... That was her vocal tuner.

25:47okay i've been singing since i was a little girl on a swing in my backyard i've always loved it

25:54Ronnie Karam: and i've had a vocal coach for three years three years you had a vocal coach i'm i'm six years old actually how long do we give this at what point are you like hmm i guess this isn't working you You know?

26:13Ben Mandelker: My goals are big, though. Yeah. I'm not talking, like, community theater big. I'm talking, like, Gaga big. Yeah. Yeah. Pa, pa, pa, pa, pa, poker fans.

26:28Ronnie Karam: I think it's mucus. I think it's mucus. Maybe that. And Carrie's like, you need to start thinking of yourself as an elite athlete, Lisa Barlow. Carrie, you are an elite bullshitter. At this point, you're just unleashing a virus onto the rest of us.

26:49Ben Mandelker: I think she was paid by the rest of the cast because then she says, we're going to have to figure out how to budget your vocal energy a little bit, which is a great way of saying, shut up.

27:00Ronnie Karam: Yeah. Well, you know what? I went to my thyroid doctor and my thyroid's getting better. my doctor was like oh my god your thyroid like is it a streisand it sounds amazing

27:16Ben Mandelker: it's a gift to have a hyperactive thyroid it's like merry christmas here's your thyroid and it

27:21Ronnie Karam: needs adhd medication it's like great because you get to be 110 pounds but it's horrible on your body don't worry i'm sure like all the wendy's french fries and kit kats and diet cokes are helping. My favorite health food. I don't, I've always kind of, I don't know. I always, every time I go to the doctor, which is very rarely, and you know, I have to be bleeding out of the eyes or the butt or something to go to a doctor. There used to be blood for me to go to a doctor. But every time I do, I'm like, is there a thyroid issue? I don't know why I'm always asking. Cause I've always, I've always like correlated that with like weight, you know?

28:00Ronnie Karam: If you gain a little bit of weight and people are like, is it your thyroid? So I've always kind of dreamed that I could one day say, oh yes, I've gained weight. It's because of my thyroid. But I don't actually know what it does. So I didn't know how bad I should feel when Lisa said this. She's like, it's my thyroid. And I was like, your thyroid needs to be quieter.

28:21Ben Mandelker: That's all I knew. We all know a thyroid is when you get your thighs from an asteroid.

28:29Ben Mandelker: Just a little word play to cleanse the palate.

28:31Ronnie Karam: Your thighs from an asteroid? Very fast thighs. Are asteroids fast? No, they just crash into things. Why are you taking me here? I'm still in your acapella moment.

28:45Ben Mandelker: Last year, I had no idea I had a thyroid issue until it was a major, major deal because my thyroid literally climbed out of my throat and was like, can I have an autograph? I was like, of course. It was like a major deal. And then I had a fever, and then my thyroid issues literally strained my body so much, I had to turn the air conditioning all the way down to 48 degrees. I had such a fever. I couldn't even sing. I was like, is the thyroid issue still happening?

29:19Ronnie Karam: You know what? But I have a dream, And I told my thyroid, we're going to go through with that. This isn't even a bucket list thing. It's like actual, it's like a Danny Glover album. It's like a Danny Glover album coming to show. I'm going to be Gaga. So John comes in. He's like, um, hi. This may sound cheesy, but I'm a huge Lisa Stan worshiper. Ding, ding, ding. Poor John. He's got like a little electric thing on his neck. Lisa's just got the little remote control in her hand. John, did you say you're worshipping me yet?

30:02Ben Mandelker: John has something very important to say. He says, I'm going to loosely quote one of my favorites, who happens to be Halsey.

30:12Ben Mandelker: And he says, one of her songs is I'm not a woman, I'm a god. I'm like, thank you for saying that you're only loosely quoting her. Because I would hate if you didn't let us know that you weren't strictly quoting Halsey. Like, you know, those words matter. Yeah, I'm going to do a cover. I'm not a woman, I'm a thyroid.

30:34Ronnie Karam: You know, John, I've been crying to Carrie about my thyroid. She's like, Carrie, my thyroid. Carrie's like, you, be strong. Be a strong thyroid. Carrie's like crying. and Lisa's like, John, Carrie's been making me feel so much better. Haven't you, Carrie? It's been like so crazy. My body's healing. You know why? Carrie explained it's my throat chakra. Thanks, Carrie.

30:59Ben Mandelker: He's like, well, if I may loosely quote one of my other favorites, LMFAO. Party rock is in the house tonight.

31:12Ronnie Karam: Laugh my thyroid off. So now we find out that the ladies are going to do... It's a healing episode. A what episode? Healing. Healing. Thank you. Healing. Healing. Healing. It's healing. So are we still in Lisa time? Not but need time. Stop trying to confuse me. But we're going to have a Reiki night, and it's going to bring everybody together.

31:37Ben Mandelker: Ah, Reiki! We see that the previous night some of the women had gone together, and Kwai is like, guys, I'm going to get a bunch of us all together. We're going to have a Reiki night. It's going to be really beautiful. Have you guys ever done Reiki? And Merida's like, good luck.

31:58Ronnie Karam: It's like, well, we're going to start off on a positive note.

32:07Ronnie Karam: So John's like, you know, Reiki, that's supposed to be a real positive experience. like, mm, waking up next to Lisa Merlo every day.

32:18Ben Mandelker: That's why I often quote loosely one of my favorites, wham, wake me up before you go-go.

32:29Ronnie Karam: So we now go to Heather. Kind of a misquote. So Heather is arriving at, oh my God, this basic B. Chemo fucking sabby enough. I've had it. I've had it with Kimo Sabe and you fucking fake cowboys with your$10 ,000 hats. Shut up. And then they have some big grizzly duck dynasty guy there with Taz and a beard coming down to his, you know, beer belly like, yeah, I'm really from Sons of Anarchy. Fuck off. Sons of Anarchy guys do not hang out in Kimo Sabe, all right?

33:08Ben Mandelker: But Heather does, and she's brought Angie. And so they're there. Everything seems fine. And I like that. And Heather's like, God, the first time I came to Kemosabi, I thought it was a sushi bar. And she's like, it isn't. So Bronwyn shows up. And Heather's like, Bronwyn, you don't look ready for a shopping adventure. She's like, no, well, I'm not ready for anything because you can tell I'm in bad mood because I'm in jeans. I wear jeans when I'm in bad mood.

33:42Ronnie Karam: Bronwyn really worked this one the whole episode. Guys, can you tell that I'm in a bad mood? You know how you can tell that I'm not feeling very good because I'm in jeans. Isn't it sad? Isn't anybody going to ask me why I'm not a good man? I mean, I'm in jeans. I'm in jeans. I'm in jeans. It's the best you've ever looked, honestly. She looks beautiful. She's the only one kind of dressed to theme. She's like in jeans and a, what was it, like a plait or a sweater or something. And I was like, you finally look. Well, she's a pretty lady, but those outfits are ridiculous. I actually like this. It's such a nice change on Salt Lake City to see somebody in a sweater.

34:17Ben Mandelker: I knew she was angry, not because of her jeans, but because the tips of her bob, they're like...

34:26Ben Mandelker: Her bob crosses arms just like me when I can't figure out the iPad. So then Bronwyn says, it's a common refrain that when a friend sees me in jeans, they are instantly worried about my mental health and wellness. this? I was like, is it a common refrain? She's making herself lore. Basically, she's in a really bad mood, and she was really annoyed at the Jupiter party that Angie was clearly trying to start a fight, as opposed to every other cast member who does this every other episode of this show.

35:01Ronnie Karam: That's what you're supposed to do. Where the fuck do you think you are? Welcome to work. My God. God forbid anybody works these days. You know, like Angie tried to start a fight. Oh my God, stoner to death. All right. So she's mad at Angie. And so she's like, where are Whitney and Heather? And then we find out Whitney is mad. I'm not even coming to Kimo Sabi. I'm very upset because Heather told me I should be mad at Lisa. But then when I got mad at Lisa, then Heather told me not to be mad at Lisa.

35:54Ronnie Karam: You can't even describe why you're mad, you dummy. Heather's like, say you're not coming to Kemosabe? It's going to be the craziest housewives trip ever. Everyone's going to get a scarf.

36:11Ben Mandelker: you got me worked up and i don't like it and i um i can i can sit in this and i can figure out how better to show up for myself in the future and um i'm allergic to wasabi anyway so she just hangs up i think roman's like well you know i mean i know what whitney is saying i

36:34Ronnie Karam: mean whitney's facetime was basically wearing jeans and i can completely understand that because I'm wearing jeans right now, which as you guys know, as everybody knows, I'm very upset about wearing jeans. I'm very upset. And you know, I'm very prepared to have a combo today. I'm very upset as well, and I will have a combo. So Angie's like, okay, should we go to the bar then? I am also here. I am Greek. Thank you for bringing me to Greek-y-sabi.

37:04Ben Mandelker: So they go into the secret bar at Kemosabi's that's not really secret anymore. and also I'm like, oh my god, I can't wait to have a drink. Let's go to the hat store. So then...

37:17Ben Mandelker: So they get in there and Bronwyn's like, well, I mean, you guys obviously saw me... I forgot that she said this. You guys obviously saw me nodding and so I was upset. She's like, mm-hmm, mm-hmm.

37:31Ronnie Karam: Very upset. You saw me nodding and I'm an Uggs. I'm an Uggs. I'm an Uggs and jeans. Uggs are another no-no. No, it's a huge depression sign. It's a dark day.

37:42Ben Mandelker: The bob is shaking.

37:44Ronnie Karam: Okay, Bronwyn, why are you upset? So, Bronwyn's saying at the Jupiter party. No, I feel like when I came in, I saw Whitney and you talking, and she was upset about Lisa, and I don't know what you said to her, but you got her all worked up, and then Angie comes over, and she starts trying to make a fight, and everyone's trying to start a fight, and I just really don't like it. I just don't like it. I'm a big person. I really don't like it.

38:05Ben Mandelker: Oh, no. what am I supposed to do to broker peace for you guys? Oh, I've got an idea. Angie wants to take you down. Does that help?

38:15Ronnie Karam: Well, I don't need you to broker peace, but I think that you two aren't kind of happy for Whitney and I to be in a bad place with her because then it's like, oh, no, it's not us, and now she's coming for us, and now Lisa's going to come for Whitney and Bonham, and Lisa is very terrifying, and you just want me to take down the Lisa Barlow terrorism snake by myself, and I just think... Why are you all so terrified of Lisa Marlow? What does she even do other than sing? I mean, like, yeah.

38:41Ben Mandelker: The fact that you think we're just glad to watch you and Whitney be in this bad position with Lisa, you think I'm, like, loving and reveling in the fact that she's fighting with you guys. And now that I say it out loud, I guess I am. Ha ha ha ha ha.

38:55Ronnie Karam: Ha ha ha ha ha. Ha ha ha ha ha. Greek. Well, I think you like the drama. So she's like, I don't know what's going on at Angie's house, but she is very difficult to be friends with right now. Maybe something's going on there.

39:12Ben Mandelker: Don't, don't, don't. Also, they're being so clunky with these interviews. Obviously, they all know, but they're like, something must be going on at Angie's house. What could it be?

39:23Ronnie Karam: A gas leak?

39:26Ben Mandelker: Spina diffida?

39:27Ronnie Karam: What is it? A throw pillow that wasn't white? So dumb. But also, you guys, listen, I love this cast. We cannot all have a secret divorce storyline. Okay? One of you can be hiding your divorce. You can't all be hiding your divorce. Okay?

39:49Ben Mandelker: So Angie, now they're starting to get into it, Angie is offended by, you know, whatever Bronwyn just said. And she's like, she's saying, you know, Sean loves Todd. I love Todd. I love both of you guys. I want you guys both to get back together. And Bronwyn's like, oh, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh. Well, I don't think that we should talk about Sean and Todd, what they talk about, because I know what they talk about. They talk on the phone. Sean and Todd, they talk. They talk. No, you don't. You don't. You don't.

40:19Ronnie Karam: Oh, no. No. You don't. Every time, Bronwyn, I feel my waddles like slapping back up against me. God damn it, Bronwyn! just almost got this fixed okay so um didn't work they just i don't know how much they have to take off a waddle to just get it to stop waddling i just had this taken off and it's still like i guess there's only so much they can do i need to get like a roller and just like or start roll anyway the point is um we have to go over line by line of this you're welcome we're five hours in already because this this fight is this this show is so crazy and i'm really trying to find i was truly by the end i was like what are they talking about okay so angie says i don't know if it's a causation or court wait no braun was saying this she's like angie there's something wrong there and if it's going to be that you're going to come run and start something then i have to think about that and angie says that is offensive to me because i've been in a worse position Sean loves Todd and I love Todd and I love both of you guys what the fuck does that mean?

41:33Ronnie Karam: now this starts a whole thing of like oh really? you're going to come for my husband? okay well you want to talk about my private conversations with my husband? well bring it on because I'll also know about your private conversations with your husband get there because this is too

41:48Ben Mandelker: I'm like what? and Heather's like I know what's really going on but I don't want to say anything I'm caught in the middle I just have to play dumb so Bronwyn is now saying like you know it does feel interesting to me why do people feel comfortable coming to you and talking to you so negatively about me especially Lisa I think if you knew I went over there to talk to her it was going to get messy and it was going to get dark and so that does feel to me like I'm going to do this thing and see what happens and like maybe it's exciting and maybe I get to watch it and maybe it makes you Lisa's soldier I was like okay okay sure so they're like they're basically doing that thing they do every season where they have an argument that is like you can't you just can't follow it it's like i think that when you still when you told whitney that you were saying it to lisa get lisa mad at whitney but instead she told meredith and now meredith and lisa are on the same side and they told to heather and the fact that heather didn't keep their confidence and came to whitney about it really shows that whitney's loyalty is really to angie and if angie had just said something to bronwyn then it would have been fine but bronwyn was too busy becoming friends with britney and since when is bronwyn friend Britney, right?

42:53Ben Mandelker: I'm always like,

42:56Ronnie Karam: sure. Scouts of justice. But the point is, Lisa said, Brandon, the relationship with Brandon is fake and she's just paying that guy to be her boyfriend, which guess who else said that? Probably like 90 % of us, I'm asking you. And then Lisa, then, okay, Lisa said that, then Angie told Bronwyn that Lisa said that, And now Bronwyn is mad at Angie for being negative about her boyfriend. So now she's going to out Angie, Angie's husband, for shit that he said about Angie. Girl, just come on. At least Lisa Barlow's like, guess what? Your boyfriend's a whore and you're paying him. Thank you. The end.

43:37Ronnie Karam: That's like the Sparks notes of Housewives. Just bring someone in to tell me.

43:41Ben Mandelker: Here's actually what I think is going to happen. This is going to be a really compelling theory, so get ready. I think that Bronwyn realized after Girls Trip that Lisa is now in the cool club at Bravo and with the audience and then she had this whole scene that fell flat in Girls Trip and then she's like, oh shit, Lisa's the cool one I've got to figure out a reason to be cool with Lisa again Aha, I know what it is It turns out the reason why I'm angry at Lisa all the time is because Angie is pitting us against each other so now I'm mad at Angie and I bet you that's what's going to happen and if it doesn't happen, that's fine too.

44:20Ronnie Karam: Why do you think that Bronwyn thinks that Lisa's the cool girl now just because her boyfriend's rolling all over the floor screaming,

44:27Ben Mandelker: I can't, Lisa!

44:31Ronnie Karam: Lisa's at vocal class, you just see Brandon outside the window like, you're amazing.

44:38Ben Mandelker: Keep singing, I can't.

44:43Ronnie Karam: Sean, Angie says, with branding. I can't.

44:48Ben Mandelker: So they just start fighting because Bronwyn is now actually accusing Angie of being Lisa's soldier. And that's why Angie is trying to consecrate this mess.

44:59Ronnie Karam: You are calling me a soldier. Well, you are hard to get along with. And I see why you are struggling with relationships. And you are a snake, Bronwyn. You are a snake. You are talking over everything like a snake. You can't get snakes to stop talking like you.

45:18Ben Mandelker: Angie has full-on Terminator vision, and she's scanning the room for snake objects. She's like, it's a hat. No, it doesn't look like a snake. She's desperate for a prop right now. I need a snake. I need a snake.

45:31Ronnie Karam: And people, in a lot of the comments, as we'll get through after the show, when it goes really, really south, people are like, oh, my God, Angie was seeing red. and suddenly not even making any sense. What the fuck show have you been watching? This has always been Angie. The first season when Meredith's like, you cannot come to my party in Palm Springs. And she's like, how dare you? You will talk to me. Meredith's turning. She's like, Meredith, you will talk to me. Meredith, you are a trampoline with ice. Oh, yeah. She's running around trying to get in there, bobbing and weaving, just saying crazy bullshit.

46:06Ben Mandelker: so now so braun and angie are now just like fighting they're fighting we're salad and so they're going back and forth it goes on honestly for pages and pages of them just going back and forth in the back room of kimosabi which is a classy place that kyle richards likes guys um and so they're they're fighting and then braun was like you know what you know what uh-uh, uh-uh, I didn't wear jeans for this.

46:36Ronnie Karam: Well, I do like when she's there arguing with each other and Angie's like, what are you talking about? I was telling you this gossip and you were laughing your ass off. And Bronwyn's like, I was absolutely not laughing, Angie. I was absolutely not laughing at you. I did not think that was funny. And then it cuts to Bronwyn at the party being like, mm-hmm. You think that?

46:59Ben Mandelker: So then Bronwyn's like, you know what, I am so angry I am going to storm right out of Kemosabe

47:06Ronnie Karam: oh yeah, you better storm out you word salad you are word salad you are a kitty cat bed you are a bed that kitty cats sleep in, you better run

47:18Ben Mandelker: is this the back rooms?

47:19Ronnie Karam: keep running you are a landless hero or hero depending on which part of Greece you are in you better keep running I still can't see you she finds doors as well as night lights

47:41Ronnie Karam: word blends that's so good

47:44Ben Mandelker: my Apple watch is so proud of me

47:49Ronnie Karam: Auntie doesn't even care she's like I'll vamp it's true I'll just say stupid shit until you find a door and poor Bronwyn just could not even find the door. She couldn't find the door, Kimisabe. And Heather, you know, as obnoxious as Heather can be sometimes, it does crack me up that Heather is always the best audience member on this show. She's like me. Like, I'm the best audience member of Watch What Crappens. And you guys are pretty good. But no one laughs at this more than me. And that's Heather with this show. She's always like, that was so good. Wow, you really called it, Angie. You're like a scorpion.

48:29Ronnie Karam: Sing! Great sing, everybody. Okay, wrap it up, Kimo Sabi. We can keep these kerchiefs, right? I know.

48:39Ben Mandelker: All they got was a handkerchief.

48:41Ronnie Karam: This was sad. Kyle Richards gets it. Everybody gets a big$10 ,000 hat. They light it on fire. They're like, here's a kerchief.

48:48Ben Mandelker: I know. Here's a coaster. Come on. Here comes one right now.

49:23Ben Mandelker: At Lowe's. Valid through 12-2 while supplies last. Selection varies by location. See associate at lowes.com for details.

49:31Ronnie Karam: The quarter pounder with cheese is made with 100 % fresh beef. Cook when you order it. Add hot crispy fries and an ice cold Coke. And hopefully a lot of napkins. All for$8. Ba-da-ba-ba-ba.

49:49Ben Mandelker: So now we go to Mary's house. and we have a very beautiful and lovely and serious scene that we probably shouldn't make fun of in front of a live studio audience here because there's nothing to make fun of. It's a very lovely scene where Joe comes over and they reflect and they talk about her son and it's like very, very sad.

50:10Ronnie Karam: Well, yeah. I mean, they're talking about grief and her losing her son and it's Mary so this is all done against the backdrop of some of the most insane fucking furniture. I know, still.

50:20Ben Mandelker: And clothing.

50:21Ronnie Karam: you've ever seen in your life. It's like this very serious scene and I'm like, why are you still like the incredible shrinking woman? Her chairs are this high and Mary and her diamonds dripping everywhere. And you know her cousin Joe's like, okay, Mary, I'm really here to talk about your grief. And she's like, why don't you have a vacuum in your hand? You're one of my cousins. You should be dusting something for free. So it was sad. Thanks for being here, Cousin Joe. Alright, then we go over to Angie's house for another very serious scene. Okay, you know what? It's like I said about your divorces.

51:01Ronnie Karam: You can't just all do it at the same time. One of you choose. You can't all be depressing in the same episode.

51:08Ben Mandelker: So Angie's dad comes over and Angie's brother, who looks a lot like Sean, I'd like to say, they come up. You think? I didn't think.

51:18Ronnie Karam: I didn't notice.

51:19Ben Mandelker: I don't know. I thought so. So Angie is nervous to tell her dad that she and Sean are separating because her dad is old school, old world, and you make it work all the way to the very end.

51:33Ronnie Karam: Wait a minute.

51:37Ben Mandelker: Oh, my Angie, so good to see you.

51:41Ronnie Karam: It is good to see you, Papa. Come look at my new Porsche. We are going to have a grief scene after you look at my new Porsche.

51:49Ben Mandelker: The Porsche is beautiful. I can't even imagine anything more beautiful for you to show me.

51:54Ronnie Karam: I could never buy my own Porsche because we shared everything, me and Sean. But now something might be happening with Sean. So look, I bought my own Porsche.

52:04Ben Mandelker: It is a beautiful Porsche, Angie. Please.

52:10Ronnie Karam: Okay, by the way, if I haven't made you uncomfortable yet, look what I won. It is the biggest grinder face. for those of you who don't know you're at a watcher crapping show so what a way to learn but that's a gay fucking app you know and I'm more of a fuck people in real life kind of person because people lie on the internet also well I don't really lie on the internet when I had a picture on there I just look as gay and hideous as possible I'll put my chin like because I don't want people to be surprised when they actually meet me and be like, whoa, you do not look like that. There's nothing worse than that look of disappointment in somebody's eyes, you know?

52:58Ronnie Karam: So I'm just honest. So when they see me, they're like, wow, pretty decent. Point is, it's an, it's like a location-based dick app and you open it and you can see the gaze that are right by you. So if I opened it right now, I'd be like, you know, yeah. Three feet, one, two feet away. It's Ben. So anyway, it's me. It's Ben. So yeah, people go on there and they, and don't worry, I'm not looking on Grindr. I am looking at my phone right now. I'm not going to out anybody right here. And you know, this is DC, so you never know. It's like, that's right. You know, there's like a Republican National Convention.

53:47Ronnie Karam: Grindr goes down because everybody's on it. Everyone. That's real news. Okay, the point is, it's this gay app. So she's like, look, it is Grindr. Do you guys know what Grindr is? And her dad's like, no. And her brother's like, nope, absolutely not.

54:12Ronnie Karam: What is that? I don't know.

54:21Ben Mandelker: For those listening at home, you're experiencing Grindr right now.

54:29Ronnie Karam: How many people just turn to their husbands like, what the fuck?

54:40Ronnie Karam: I'm sorry.

54:43Ben Mandelker: Word, Salad. No, for real. Angie did clarify that she does not participate with Grindr. She participates with Griechter.

54:56Ben Mandelker: You know, thighs and asteroids. If you think about it.

55:02Ronnie Karam: This is the Grindr Award. They love me. And they, I don't know, I am funny. And it's given to the dad and the brother. Well, the brother's like, oh, that's great. I haven't heard this yet. Haven't heard it. The dad's like, what are you talking about? She's like, well, it was given to me by the gays. And I think it's because I am a gay man trapped in a woman's body. I don't know. And Louie's like, oh, good. Never heard of it. What?

55:34Ben Mandelker: Why does Grindr have an award show? Who is on the judging panel? And how did Angie win an award from it?

55:44Ronnie Karam: I get it. It's like a gay thing. And gays are like, oh my god, the housewives. And thank god the gays support the housewives and everything. But Grindr should be supporting dick. That's who should be winning an award on Grindr. A penis. Somebody's penis.

55:58Ben Mandelker: I love the idea. Listen, we've got the crappies. They've got the grindies or whatever they're called. Maybe all have an award show and live long and prosper.

56:08Ronnie Karam: We'll give an award to someone's dick this year just because Grindr didn't. Or maybe Grindr does award dicks. I don't know. They should.

56:15Ben Mandelker: They should.

56:17Ronnie Karam: Just because I haven't been nominated for something doesn't mean there's not an award for it.

56:23Ben Mandelker: So Angie sits down, her dad and her brother, and she's basically like, I am sad. And she's like, I've been miserable for so long and I don't know because you and mom, you stayed together till the very end and I feel bad because I don't want... He's like, dump him!

56:43Ronnie Karam: Yeah, she does go through this whole thing like, I don't know how I'm going to tell you this. And her dad's like, you're leaving Sean? Okay, I support you. I mean, I love Sean, but...

56:55Ben Mandelker: I'm losing my hair. I don't need the free haircuts anymore. Cut him loose. It's actually a very nice scene.

57:02Ronnie Karam: He's really supportive and really sweet. This was one of the parts I got a little teared up when the dad's like, I support you. I don't believe in it because I stay... In my day, you say... But also, his wife passed from a drug addiction, Angie's mom. There's so much heavy shit going on there. So I was like, please fast forward. And the brother's like, this was a great conversation. Great conversation. This is great.

57:29Ben Mandelker: So I was like, this episode is actually, now that we've gone through that kimosabi scene, it's actually quite beautiful. And then we go to the Reiki party.

57:38Ronnie Karam: Oh my gosh.

57:38Ben Mandelker: And we see Mary and Bronwyn are in the car heading to the Reiki luncheon. And Mary is confused already. She's like, what is this, racketeering? What are we doing today?

57:50Ronnie Karam: Wouldn't be the first time on this show. I know, right? That's for sure. That's for sure. So, Mary, it's called spirituality. Be supportive of other people's spirituality. Just like I'm in support of you ripping off old people who aren't really paying attention in your church. Okay? I mean, I get it. be supportive. I'm sorry, but those are some of the best church videos I've ever seen. And I, I've been to a lot of church and I was raised very religiously. I've sat through a lot of church and a lot of guilt, a lot of guilt, but Mary's when it was her birthday and she was telling the people in her church, where are my gifts?

58:28Ronnie Karam: Where are all my gifts? I mean, I barely got anything from you people. What? I got one purse. I don't like a bunch of poor people in my, I don't want to be, I don't want to be around a bunch of poor people. The preacher of the church. And people were so mortified online. And I was so thrilled at home. I love that. It's my favorite kind of rant. That's why I love Heather Dubrow. This is the best kind of church. Yeah, that sounds great. Church purse. I am passing this around now. You guys better put a nice purse in there. You can get the hell out of this church.

58:59Ben Mandelker: Hey, everyone. This is the end of part one of this recap. For part two, keep an eye on your podcast feed. It is coming up in just a moment. Thanks so much for listening. Catch you on the second half.

59:36Ronnie Karam: Diane Call. Big yay, it's Emily Gauthier. Erin McNicholas. She don't miss no trick-a-less. Havanagila Weber. You'll never hide from Heidi Eleanor Jones. It's no BS. We love Hugo ES. Sip some scotch with Jessica Trotch. She's our pal-a-ger. It's Karen Gallagher.

59:54Ben Mandelker: She's our favorite streamer, Caroline Peacock.

59:57Ronnie Karam: Kristen the Piston Anderson. Let's give a kisserino to Lisa Lino. Fresh as a daisy, it's Maisie McHenry. Come again? We're obsessed with Margaret O 'Halloran. Megan Berg. You can't have a burger without the Berg. I love-a-ya, Olivia Williamson. She's the lady of the house. It's Rachel Scherouse. She's not the bottom. She's Rachel Topper. Yes, we canna. It's Savannah.

1:00:21Ben Mandelker: Cast a spell with Shannon Spellman. Let's share with Sharon Eldridge.

1:00:25Ronnie Karam: Don't get mixed signals. We love Signy. Darn Skippy. It's Tippi. And our super premium sponsors. She's VVIP. It's Amanda V.

1:00:34Ben Mandelker: Somebody get us 10 cc's of Betsy MD

1:00:37Ronnie Karam: We're taking the gold with Brenda Silva Let's get real with Caitlin O 'Neill Put us on a stretcher, it's Charlotte Fletcher Hogle your horses, it's Christine Hogle Don't get salty with Christine Pepper Can't have a meal without the Emily sides

1:00:52Ben Mandelker: Who, what, why, where, and Gwen Pentland Nobody holds a candle to Jamie Kendall Nothing can take the placing of Jason We got our wish, it's Jen Plish My favorite Murdo, Karen McMurdo. Let's get savage with Laura Wildman. In the study with a candlestick, it's Leslie Peacock. We're ride or die for Lisa Ryder Barron. She's a whiz, it's Liz Sarthy. Always killing it, it's Lola Alkalani. Roger that, it's Marlis Rogers.

1:01:20Ronnie Karam: The incredible edible Matthews sisters. She eases our woes, it's Melissa St. Rose. There's a chance of meatballs, it's Rebecca Cloud. She's our princess, it's Rebecca Prince. She's the Queen Bee, it's Sarah Lemke We cannot tell a lie, it's Sarah Tell of Sun Yes we canna, it's Savannah

1:01:39Ben Mandelker: Shannon, out of a cannon, Anthony We have no notes, Shelby Walter Please don't stop, it's Soli and Pop Let's take off with Tamla Plain Strike a pose, it's Tori Rose

1:01:51Ronnie Karam: She ain't no shrinking Violet Kuchar We love you guys

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