Dwell Hello #521: S264 E10 Old School vs Trendy in Maryland

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0:26Well hello Well, hello and welcome to Dwell Hello. It's a Watch of Crapins House Hunters podcast here on Wondery Plus. I'm Ben. That's Ronnie. How's it going, Ronnie? Good. What's going on with you, baby? Not much. Just here to talk some house hunters. Today's episode is called Old School vs. Trendy in Maryland. It is House Hunters regular and it's season 264, episode 10. And I caught this on YouTube TV, actually. I don't know if the numbers will be different on other platforms. But as always, just type in old school versus trendy in Maryland. And that should get you to where you need to go. And by the way, if you have any suggestions, just email them to us at watchwhatcrappens.com.

1:23I'm sorry, watchwhatcrappens at gmail.com with the subject header dwell hello suggestion. So, Ron, are you ready to dive into today's madness? Let's do her, shall we? Here we are, old school versus trendy in Maryland. So, newlyweds Bernardo and Nia need a home for their blended family in Baltimore, but they're having a bit of a culture clash. We cut to Bernardo going, what are you going to do with chickens? And she's like, we'll have fresh eggs. Nia's humble beginnings in Honduras have her dreaming of a sleek and social media worthy place. As is always the outcome of someone who has a humble beginning in Honduras.

2:09Nia's humble beginnings in Honduras have her dreaming of flooring. That's pretty much it. Just give her floors and she'll be psyched. Give her some floors and some chickens and she's happy. As a little girl, I just always grew up wanting to have a sleek and social media worthy place. You know, every time I saw one of my chickens growing up, I thought, God damn it, that chicken would have a lot of followers if she just had the right algorithm. Wow. Well, so then we see them and they're like walking around and look at various houses and everything. And Bernardo, they're looking at a staircase and she's saying, oh, my God, this could be great for prom pictures.

2:47And he goes, but the stairs look too new. And so then Linda comes back and says, and new isn't a buzzword for Bernardo. Just look at his fashion. He's old school. The more vintage and cozy, the better. If he could live in a Burlington Coat factory ad, he would. So we see them looking at some basic things. And basically this episode is Bernardo walking around going, I hate new things. What are those new stairs? I refuse to go up new stairs. I want creaky old stairs. I mean, come on, Bernardo. We get it. You're trying to hammer it home, but who gets mad at new stairs? Those are new looking stairs.

3:25I know. I've never heard of that. New looking stairs. But he wants everything to be old. But Nia's not sold since she thinks old homes are haunted. Yes, these are two idiots. Get ready, America. And he goes, yeah, I love this house. It looks like my grandma's house. Like, who says that? Like, wow. It looks just like Meemaw's house. I will pay above asking. Does it smell like boiled brisket too? That would be great. Oh, man. If there's a guy on House Hunters, it's a guy working through his childhood memories of his parents or grandparents. But now we've got Duel because he wants his grandma's house and she wants her Honduras house minus the dirt floors.

4:05So, like we've got two dueling like childhoods trying to recreate themselves on this episode. Exactly. So now we arrive in Baltimore and Nia and Bernardo are driving their kids in their cars. And Bernardo, he's like, are you guys ready to fly kites? And you know what? The kids are like, dad, we never fly kites. Why are you being so performative for TV? Like, just let us play the fucking Nintendo Switch on camera, please. Okay. He's like, here, I got you. This is a gas station. It's a gay pride flag. Go fly. You're going to love it. It's going to be great. I'm Nia. I'm 27 years old and I'm a stay at home mom.

4:40He's like, and I'm Bernardo. I'm 41 and I'm a registered nurse. So they met on a dating app and she says, when I saw him, I said, this is my future husband. I truly did. And they got married. Oh God. Do you know how many people I've said that to that I've seen on apps? It's never worked. I've said it about a hundred times to people that I'm like, that is my husband. That is my husband. It never works. Why does it always work for other people? Well, the thing is this, everyone probably says that a million times. And then until finally you do meet the person who is your husband. And then you're like, Oh my God, I said, he'd be my husband and he's my husband.

5:16It's like, yeah, but you said it about a lot of things. It's always like that expression. It's always in the last place you look. It's like, yeah, cause you're not going to keep on looking after you find it. It's literally always in the last place. You look like there's no other place for it to be. Oh, that's true. That's true. Yeah. That's a good point. I mean, I do say he's going to be my husband a lot, but I like, I've tried lowering my standards. I even say it sometimes, you know, like where you're at a stoplight and you see like someone, you know, crazy in the crosswalk, you know, trying to clean your windows or whatever.

5:45And I'm like, that's probably my husband, you know, like that's probably him, you know? And even he doesn't want me, even him. I rolled down the window. I'm like, I don't have a dollar. I do have my phone number. And even though scream, fuck you in my face. And I just can't win. So they are arriving at this park. And then Nia tells the kids, you remember when we went to the kite festival? I don't believe this kite. No, I'm sorry. you guys do not fly kites stop trying to push this kite agenda you were lying about the kites that's so specific too like we met on an app we're both into kites super into kites really went on that kite festival day yeah banged so we had this one so bernardo tells us that he has a blended family with three amazing sons who probably hate their new stepmom and uh his oldest is 21 and And then he has a 19 year old and a 16 year old.

6:35And then Nia has a five year old daughter. And then they also have a daughter that they have, they have a kid who they had together. So now we see them in the park and now they are flying their kites. So really continuing to push the kite narrative. Yeah. A lot of kites. And he wants to, right now they're renting outside of Baltimore, but the owner is going to sell their house. So they need to buy a house. So let's do it, people. And they bring their own folding chairs and cars, which I like. So Nia is showing him pictures online of what he likes. And she's like, I want sleek and modern. I want a more lavish home because I grew up in Honduras in a coffee farm.

7:19And we had dirt floors. And it was a very small home. And so that's where my ideas are coming from of wanting a bigger home, wanting a better home. And she's showing him photos of houses. And he goes, wait, whose house is this? She goes, it's just someone I follow on social media. My wife is always on social media. She just wants trendy. He's like, it's crazy. You're looking at someone's house on social media. Who does that? Like, I just feel like trends kind of play themselves out. My grandma, she has a fully brick house in Ohio. You know, they last forever, those brick houses. I'm like, I hate to break it to you.

7:53But brick houses were at one point a trend, I'm sure. Like, that's just what happens. Yeah. And also you found your wife on a social media app. So stop judging, sir. So he wants classic style and he wants an older home. He's like, for 500 grand, we can add whatever we want. The guys always want to remodel. And then we see them a few months later on like the Jasmine show where it's like, I tried to remodel and I suck. And she's like, okay, guys, let's fix this water pipe that you hooked into the electrical socket or whatever. It seems like they never actually do the projects on this show because you're right.

8:28The guys are always like, I'm always looking for a project. And then we see them choosing a house and it's three months later and everything looks exactly the same. They have not touched a single thing. Yeah. So he wants projects and she's like, yeah, Bernardo, I don't see you doing that. Okay. And if we did 600 ,000, we wouldn't have to worry about anything else, which is also not true. Yeah. That's a lie. Yeah. So I don't like the idea of buying a home that already has been established only because, you know, like there are these superstitions in my culture that there may be some spirits and like ghosts.

8:58laying around and like roaming around amongst us so she wants i'm like i don't know have you seen poltergeist that was a brand new house i think it depends on what your house is built on we have that in our culture too okay there's some horror movie called bring her back i'm gonna watch and i just can't even bring myself to press play on it because it looks so scary you know we believe in ghosts too you know bring her back some of us have just learned to deal with it i'm glad that someone died at my home because i'm like wow this was a good house i mean it was good enough for someone to stay here long enough to die.

9:29You know, I'm in. And if he's still here, maybe he's like sweeping the floor. I feel like people who have died in the house have more skin in the game as far as like wanting to keep it clean. You know, I'll just leave shit on the counter. Be like, maybe the ghost will get it. He's probably still cares about his house. You know? You know what? I now looked up Bring Her Back because I hadn't heard of it. And I'm looking at the casts because it's like all very scary looking. and they have the cast Sally Hawkins is in it, which I'm surprised about, but there's a woman named Sally Ann Upton and she's just, she looks like a sitcom star from the eighties and her shot is just her smiling with her hands out.

10:08Like it's me, Sally Ann Upton. And I'm like, I love that this lady got cast in a horror movie. Bernardo's like, see, right there, established. Sally Ann Upton. I really, I do recommend looking this lady up. She has other shots where she's wearing a rainbow cap, like a, like a, Candace Luanne like engineer cap and she has it on her head. She's like, hello there. I'm Sally Ann Upton. See me in the next horror movie. I'll be making a smile. Oh, this lady is crazy looking. Yeah. She's got like Paula Dean hair and a big glitter cap. Bring her back. I love that. They put her in this movie. Yeah. She's in Wentworth and bring her back and Auntie Donna's coffee cafe.

10:51I'm in, I'm in on Sally Ann Upton. in so this also by the way nia's request that it has to be a new house reminds me very much of teresa judice who in her first jersey reunion famously was like i don't want to move into like a used house i want a new house not a used house i don't like some used house and then melissa sent her that uh that card that was like congrats on your used home yeah because she was like people don't wash the floors the way I wash my floors or something like that yeah so she's afraid of ghosts and um she's like you know because there's ghosts laying around and goes what are they laying eggs I don't know what she's talking about all these ghost talks stop the social media so she wants four bedrooms and um he wants the primary bedroom to feel like an oasis and he says I love tray ceilings because I'm tall so I didn't really know what a tray ceiling was until they finally showed it but it's i guess one of those ceilings that has like an outer rim and then it's sort of as it's like the opposite of a recessed floor like a recessed a sunken living room is like the is like the the opposite of a tray ceiling i guess right where i guess the tray ceiling is sort of like a recessed section and uh which those always look very cute to me but i also thought it was funny it's like sir your head is not scraping the ceiling it's not it's not like you cannot stand up straight in the room unless there's a tray ceiling in there i thought that It's also insane to say, I only want old homes, but they have to have tray ceilings.

12:21That's not an old home style. That's like a new-ish thing to have. He's like, I want my grandma's house, but with a tray ceiling. That's not how it works, Bernardo. In fact, you know what homes are most likely to have low ceilings? Old homes. Enjoy. How many times have we watched couples move into some A-frame house or whatever, and they get into their bedroom and there's like a slant the roof slant is like over the bed and they like lose their shit it's like because that's old home design well also tray ceilings aren't because you're tall tray ceilings are for already extremely tall ceilings you know they're for those rooms with like 10 foot walls and then you have a tray ceiling it's like decoration because your room is so fucking big you need something to focus on it's not just a giant wall so it's like you don't you wouldn't even need the tray ceiling in a house that was big enough to have trace He's silly.

13:12Bernardo's silly. He's ridiculous. He's like, yeah, I want this to feel like our oasis with tray ceilings. And we want a finished basement, you know, in an office. And I just recently graduated to become a psychiatric nurse practitioner. So I want to have my own practice, you know, in my home, which is perfect. If I go to a psychiatrist and I go to that office and it's a home with six children in it, I'm asking for my money back. I'm coming here to become like saner. How are you going to expect me to become more sane in a home with six children running around? I actually think I would like feel like it's more.

13:55if I'm going to an old little brick house from like 1923 to like meet with a psychiatric nurse practitioner or like maybe whatever his business that he wants to start. I feel like I would, I would feel less inclined that this is a, like a, a proper business. If it's in a little old brick building, like brick house, I think if it's in a new construction, I'd be like, okay, well this person, like it's tidy or whatever. Uh, I don't know. This is a, this is a theory of developing on the spot that has really had. Yeah, I want to go to a strip mall. You know what I mean? I don't want to go to your house.

14:27Like, do you rent an office for fuck's sake? Yeah, something. I'll go to a Starbucks over your house. Fuck. So they want tray ceilings, a deep tub, and a basement office. So we're still at the park. The kid's running around with the gay pride flag. And Nia's like, wow, you know, being here at the park, like, it really reminds me of how I want a big yard. And like a crackhead, possibly, like, sleeping under a tree. or, oh, a lady pooping. That would be nice. I love parks. So he's like, we both agree on a large yard so the kids can have a safe area to run and play. And he's like, and my wife, she wants chickens.

15:07Yeah, I grew up with chickens. So I would love the idea of having a chicken coop because chickens, they chase out the spirits, you know, the bad spirits, chickens, they're your guardians. So just like every day I can go and I can just pick some fresh eggs. He's like, he's like, but I don't know about that. He's like, we'll put that on the back of the list. Yeah. Give me a pasteurized egg any day. I say. So we go to the, you pasteurized eggs, right? Okay. So we go to a chicken coop and we see it or we see a wishlist chicken coop. And Bernardo's like, yeah, I don't know. That's going to be on the back of the list.

15:40Chicken coop. Who did I marry? So now they're looking in the Baltimore suburbs within an hour of his job in the city. so they go to this first house which option one it's$629 ,900 so it's basically$630 ,000 and it has four bedrooms it's close to his job it has a lot of space and everything and we go up to this house and it's like a it's like a very vertical box it's like someone took a shoe box and put it on its side on the longest side and that's the house yeah I like this one the best I'm going to say it right now. I like this one. I think this one's cute. It's kind of stylish and modern looking.

16:22I like this one. I mean, you know, remember where we are. We're in House Hunters. But for the House Hunters house, I like this one the best. Yeah, it's a little generic for me personally. It was, no, I don't know. But they meet up with, what was the realtor's name? Chantre? Chantre. Chantre? I think it was Chantre. and um so Nia they pull up and Nia does this thing she does this at every house it feels like oh my god I like all the black details because she sees like some little accents and that's like her favorite thing to point out she's like oh my god black details I love that so much he's like I prefer brick you know but whatever that's okay there's stone that's a nice touch but I want brick like my grandma yeah this doesn't look like my grandma's house and I want a standard 600 and Chantre is like yeah well we should take a look still because you you might change your mind.

17:16Also, nobody wants to live in your grandma's house. Okay. Let's go. The grandmas are still living. Okay. They still own those homes. So let's, let's check this one out. And she's like, this is new and we're going into a buyer's market guys. Cause this home has been on the market for a while. Okay. It's overpriced and shitty. You're going to love it. You are going to love this shithole. It's probably got cracks in the foundation. Let's have a look. Yeah. It's sort of this generic house. Um, everything's gray, gray laminate, gray, this, gray, that gray and white, grand white, grand white. There is a fireplace that's been like built into the wall or something, but it's like not real.

17:51And Sean Trey is like, yes, this fireplace is electric and it changes colors. Like, wow. And he's like, yeah, I don't want that. I want a real one. My grandma had a real fireplace, so I want a brick and mortar fireplace. Okay. Brick and mortar. Brick and mortar. Yeah, I'm going into brick and mortar now. The kitchen is nice. It's modern, has a nice island with a waterfall. What do they call it? A waterfall pour? Waterfall surface? A waterfall. Yeah, a waterfall countertop. A waterfall island or whatever where it comes over the edge. I used to think that was so ugly. I was like, who wants this?

18:28These are so ugly. And then, what, you have to clean the whole waterfall section? And then I got one in out. That's all I want. I don't know why. I mean, who thought they would come up with a new style for a freaking kitchen island? But they did it. They did it. Someone said we are going to keep this running all the way to the ground. God damn it. Someone chased the waterfall and they actually caught it. So Bernardo says the stove top is gas. And he's like, oh, I like that this is gas. He's like, because I don't like that electricity thing. And she's like, I prefer electric, which like no one ever says on this show.

19:01Everyone's like, oh, electric. That's too bad. She's like, I prefer electric because I keep burning myself on these. Lady, why are you burning yourself on the gas? i love that she is like playing patty cake with an electric stove and not getting what is she talking i think actually an electric uh one of those like smooth electric tops is actually easier to burn yourself on because it just looks like nothing's happening yeah it always yeah it looks yeah you don't see the fire you know why are you touching the gas stove why are you touching the range yeah so he's like well you just got to be careful honey i mean if you get off your phone and social media maybe you wouldn't burn yourself and I like that that's why she's burning herself she's like oh the stove is on I was looking at someone's Instagram I know hold on I just want to like this person ow I tapped the stove top instead of the phone by accident why does that keep happening to me I tried to double tap it so this is just like one of the stupidest observations can't have a gas stove i tried to light the eggs and i burned myself

20:17i tried to swipe left on the flame and it turns out you can't do that yeah so they go outside and there's no deck which is apparently a big thing for it becomes a big deal for brunano because none of these homes have real real big decks and so he's like but wait where can i put the grill i mean come on we need a grill and she's like where where am i going to have a chicken coop and shantra is like yeah i don't know that the county is gonna really love a chicken coop anyway it's like oh what the hell he's like i love it he's like no chickens for me um so then nia she oh then they go upstairs and there's this railing it's like a metal railing and it has um a wire like the the railing has like wires in it like like long wires that parallel the railing itself um what you would normally see in like a public kind of building like a commercial building or a museum or something and uh she was like oh my god i love this railing i was like really this just feels not like a railing you'd have inside your house right yeah i mean i don't know it doesn't look great for kids though because you know they'll be squeezing through that pushing each other through it uh so they check out the rooms uh they check out the house oh it's fine it's a pretty generic house up and down you know it's like the lvp floors everything's great like you already said there's a you know bathroom with a standing shower she likes that there's a jack and jill bathroom because it connects bedrooms and she's like we could have one kid over here and the other kid over there and he's like wow you've got your own vision going on i see chicken lover so then they go into the primary and he's like well i don't see tray ceilings and that is huge for me because look look at the way my head is like three feet away from touching that ceiling is that three feet might even be might even be six feet I mean what's the point of having all that ceiling up there if it can't even go even higher he's ridiculous with these tray ceilings I can't we hear a lot of stupid things on the show but tray ceilings is up there someone insisting on tray ceilings no pun intended so now they see a double sink and she's like oh you're gonna love the tub bernardo because there's a bathtub and he goes yeah i could try to fit in there it's kind of a little tub and she goes oh my god but i could see it we could do a whole shot in here look i'm framing it for social media right now the chicken in the bathtub drinking some champagne chickens don't have fingers well help it bernardo come on yeah she is like nia spielberg over there setting up her whole scene like hold on everyone this is beautiful great backdrop for all my social media content love it let's do this i'm gonna buy an entire house for one post of a bathtub on social media i'm gonna become viral over my bathtub people are gonna love this then she's like you know i pick up really good energy in here i don't think there's any spirits yeah i'm this is great i'm feeling no spirits here so then they go uh to the to the back and um that she loves like that there's a luxury grand entrance on the first level which i don't seem to remember it being very luxury it's literally a door grand it's a door it's a door and then they go downstairs up into a big open concept yeah basically yeah and then she's like oh my god this this surface here i can really see like a picture or a mirror and he's like huh with this price i don't think we'll be adding any mirrors or pictures oh god i'll tell who has a lot of mirrors and pictures grandma's house let's go there let's move there but that she just sees a wall and she goes oh my god we could put a picture there yeah that's what you do with walls nia for fuck's sake man so they check out the basement and um she's like is this a living space and she's like yeah you could have a living space here and so they name all the kids they're like wow the kids will all enjoy this area because that's where you live not like ghosts who were dead and um she's like yeah maybe the kids could be playing over there he's like okay vision have her so there's also a bathroom down there and she loves the marble details which is funny it's just like dollar tiles you know with marble painted on and then um they there's another bedroom down there and all that stuff and he's like well i could have my home office down there but i don't know it's right off a playroom with the kids all there and she's like that's why you have a door, honey.

24:43So he says that this is just going to be so over budget. And he grew up in apartments for a while. And it wasn't until high school when his mom purchased her first home. So this is a big milestone for him because apparently he is going to pattern everything he does in his life off of his mom and his grandmother. So he really feels like it's just essential for him to start this chapter off on the right foot and having an office next to a playroom. No, no bueno. know yeah so chantrey finds a lower priced home for bernardo but nia is a tough sell and he is like it looks so used up so now the next house this lady is ridiculous they're both ridiculous people it says 30 minutes to work and we go to this house it was built in 1960s and then she's like it was built in 1960s so who knows how many people have lived there oh my god so many ghosts like I'm not I'm just gonna say this I don't think everyone who's lived there has died there too I think people have lived there and moved on she's like oh my god people keep dying there's so many ghosts in this house people are so funny about dead people you're gonna be one soon okay yeah so be nice it's like when young people are mean to old people it's like you're gonna be one kid okay like have fun with your perky boobs and your high butt now but you're gonna be in my seat very soon okay so enjoy i wonder if dead people feel the same way they're like oh really we scare you you still poop so now they get to this house uh it's 485 000 it's like a it's a colonial it's like a cute um like very standard house i actually like it i think it's like a i think it has a lot more charm on the outside than the one that we just looked at it's just like a standard home from the 60s that you see in suburbs all over yeah and this one is 485 so this is cheap and it's like full-on brick brick home wood paneling all that stuff and uh she's like what do you think of this beautiful colonial home i'll be the judge of that chantrey okay tell me what's beautiful and he's like it's okay if you like used up stuff oh okay so they they walk in and everything and bernardo's like look look at this fireplace it's amazing it reminds me my grandma's house i'm like oh nia let this be a vision of what the rest of your life is going to be like with this man every single thing is going to come down to how his grandma did something when she did something why she did something and why you're not doing it just like her and she's like yeah it looks used up and john drake goes yeah it was built in 1963 so i'm pretty sure it's been used you fucking idiot walk around the house by many people i'm sure in a really used up house so um now they check out this they've got these radiator heating things all over the floor there's radiators on the floor like classic radiators like they're not even like they're not even the old school con they're like they're modern ones like the long rectangular ones that look sort of like baseboards she goes what's this it has like horizontal slits what's this crazy thing on the bottom like that's a radiator it's like wow bernardo's like yeah that's old school stuff i love that stuff i wish i could marry that fucking floor radiator because that's from my meemaw would have loved that and she's like i've never seen that before so they go now they check out the diet you know everything's like fine the dining room's cute i think except they use like kind of a royal blue they picked the wrong blue i liked it but um but um you know it's fine and she's like chantere is like well the light fixture is modern and it doesn't fit in this house at all but you guys will probably love so that's an update watch your head it's not on the tray ceiling it's like damn it no tray ceilings nia likes the cabinets in the kitchen um and then there's space for like a second dining room which nia likes and everything and um and then bernardo says that he likes the way the rooms open up into each other so then they go through some sliding doors and they go to the outside and it has like a nice backyard i've actually have all three houses this one has the best backyard i think but no deck there's no deck and sean trey's like but there's not an hoa here so you can have up to six chickens so that's good and she's like six i don't know about six maybe i'll just start with two or something so um she's like that could change over time with the regulations of the county Okay.

29:14So just don't get too attached to your chickens. How long do chickens live? Do we know? Oh my God. Don't tell me about chicken ghosts. I'm not living in a place with chicken ghosts. Bernardo goes, what are you going to do with those chickens anyway? She's going to start up a Vodva Lact. What do you think she's going to do with them? You get eggs. What else do you do with chickens? You're not going to slaughter them there. Like you're just going to get eggs. Here's a good point though. There's a grocery store around the corner. Yeah. Okay. And it's probably cheaper to get eggs than it is to raise chickens.

29:42Yeah. And also you don't have to clean up the poop every weekend. So they go inside and head upstairs and check out the bedrooms. And she's like, is this a bedroom or an office? Whatever you want it to be, Nia, no one's going to force you to have an office where you don't want no house. The joys of a new house is house hunters. Yeah. Like you could do anything with it. So Bernardo says like, well, with my line of profession, we just need to have a really, really private area. Well, good luck with all the ghosts listening in. Oh God, Bernardo. Yeah, Bernardo. Can't wait for your clients to listen to chickens as they rip out their heart for you.

30:21I know. So they go to another bedroom. Nia thinks the windows are a little small. And Bernardo's like, but we're moving in a modern direction a little bit. It's not modern whatsoever. And then they go to a bathroom. And Bernardo's like, oh, see, look at this. I love the upgrades in this bathroom. I mean, I could see you doing a few selfies over here. And she goes, she's like, selfies, like, disgusting. And I just love that she was, like, just doing selfies in the bathroom when, like, in the last house, she was like, oh, we could set up a beautiful scene here in the bathroom. Yeah, all of a sudden she's against doing social in the bathroom.

30:59But, you know, he's the man. And we've seen it so many times on the show. The man just wants the cheap house. And that's it. He's like, it's cheap. It's$4.85. We're getting this. So, look, it's a tiny window. It's called modern, honey. It's called modern. And she's like, no. Yeah. Um, so they look in the office and there's like a complete, there's a completed basement downstairs. So that's where he would, you know, make his office and everything. But there's also like a, there's an area that's unfinished and there's like a, there's a sink. It's kind of like a industrial sink. It's like a laundry room sink.

31:35Yeah. You know, like an industrial. Yeah. Yeah. And she's like, oh no, it looks scary. I want to get out of here. Like, you know what? I don't want to watch a ghost washing its hands. Let's get out. That's a ghost sink. So he's like, can we maybe get rid of this pillar in the middle of the room? Cause that's disgusting. And Sean Trey goes, yeah, absolutely. I don't know. I don't think they have that there for no reason. It's in such an awkward place. It is the strangest. It's not even a pillar. It's just like this little tiny wall that when you come up this staircase, it like separates you from like the rest of like all these different rooms.

32:06It's a really weird one. Yeah. so he's like god this reminds me of my grandma and I really do love that we know Bernardo Jesus you're entering psycho territory here is your grandma in some wooden chair in your basement at home right now like my grandma just loves random small walls locking the flow of of whatever needs to be in this house that's just so grandma so they like the price is good but so Sean Trey tries another new build but with not much time to find it before Bernardo and Nia lose their rental. It comes with compromises. Yeah. So let's go check it out. It's an hour from his work, but it's a lower price and it's brand new.

32:53And it's going to have construction going on all over the street. And he's like, well, but that could be in the way of the kids playing outside. I think kids love construction sites. I used to play on them all the time growing up. Really? Oh, yeah. Yeah. We were always like hiding in a house that was being built and, you know, hiding and, you know, getting nails on our feet. You know, all the fun stuff. All the fun stuff. When we're kids. Kids being kids. Breaking into construction zones. This house that they go to now is just like so many of the houses we've seen on The Real Housewives of Potomac, which makes sense.

33:30We're here in suburban Maryland. and it's just like a generic McMansion. It's clearly part of a McMansion community. We see it being built in the background. It sort of has, Chantre sells it as a traditional style home with craftsman-like elements, which basically is like, it's got some pointy rooftops a little bit. Nia sees it and she goes, I do like the black details. I'm like, we do love a black railing. We get it. And this has siding and his grandmother did not have siding. So he doesn't like it. But this one's 2 ,500 square feet and four bed, two and a half bath. And there's an office, right?

34:12When you come in, it is an actual office meant to be an office. And he's like, yeah, wanted an office. So this is good. Would prefer a tray ceiling. But I mean, actually, if you're going to have an office in the home, having one right off the foyer is actually really good. So, you know, that's not so bad. But yeah, where's the tray ceiling? I mean, if you call it an office, but you don't have two tiers of ceiling in it? I don't think so. Yeah, and then there's a formal dining room, and he's like, I don't like this setup. Maybe it's that there's a light fixture right here in the middle of the room.

34:41It's because that's where the table goes, dude. That's where, I know. That's where the light fixtures go in dining rooms. Come on, buddy. But the funniest thing is they really have a big emotional reaction to the staircase. So there's this random staircase, and the bottom of the staircase kind of like, Like kind of fans out a little bit into the, into whatever space is there, the hallway. And Nia loves this. She loves this, that just that little element of the staircase opening up. She's like, oh my God, I love these stairs. This is my favorite part of the house. These are the best stairs ever.

35:16It's like a princess. Like I can imagine Prince, any princess walking down the staircase. This is royalty. This is where we're going to, okay, we're going to have the kids take prom photos here. And not only that, like we're going to invite heads of state. This is a staircase. It is so grand. It's just a staircase. It's like a generic staircase. It's a little wide at the bottom. And he's like, those stairs are too new. I hate them. Those aren't grandma's stairs. Which is the most ridiculous critique anyone could ever, ever have on this show that the staircase is too new. Do you want a staircase?

35:48Mia looks around at the walls and she goes, I see that I've seen this color before. Isn't it gray? It's like a grayish color. And Chantre is like, yeah, that's what's in right now. And she goes, yeah. It's in and it's very trendy. And Bernardo is like, we're trying to stay away from trendy. Well, perfect. Cause you're moving into a gray home. I know. Oh God. You know how great ages, those neutral colors. So then they go into a large room that they, that they'd like. And Bernardo was talking about like, yeah, maybe we could add some used furniture in here or something like that. And they're like, what?

36:22Used furniture? he's like i mean you know try to keep try to narrow the budget a little bit like he likes old things he's like okay if we move into a newer house we need older furniture then that's my compromise what the hell and there's no fireplace which he doesn't like and she's like but we could get one of the electric ones that changes colors and our kids fingers won't be burnt aren't they still hot why why do people in this family keep touching the fire what's wrong with this family do they not have fire in honduras what the hell please teach your children about open flames so and bernarda goes they make gates for fires to keep the kids out of the fire so they go into an open concept kitchen there's an island you know and he doesn't like the color or she doesn't like the color of the um cabinets and stuff and he's like but we've got kids we don't want white cabinets you know it's gonna be like little dirty palms everywhere you know the kids touch everything what did you not learn about the stovetop and the fireplace you're gonna get their burnt little fingerprints all over our white white countertops no let's do it all dark colors and he's like and where's the deck where's the deck and she's like well you could build one for ten thousand to twenty five thousand dollars and he's like okay so we're getting up in the price really quick because they have a door they have a sliding door for a potential deck but because there's no deck there it's just a sliding door that opens and then they have a little gate they have a little fence that way you don't actually fall out yeah that was yeah that was pretty right in the kitchen um so she's like well it smells new here i don't smell dead people so that's great you know i love the space and he's like yeah we could do some entertainment here you know as long as we're putting our guests on ropes so they don't fall out the window of the kitchen i know we'll give them a helmet so they go up the stairs and there's like a whole bunch of generic you know living spaces up there carpeted rooms um there's no spirits up here he goes oh great so i have to pay an extra 20 grand for no spirits great yeah great there's a spider in the bathtub and they're like oh my god it's a spider and then chanteree goes oh spirits is spiders and bernard i was like oh is there a spirit in that one and she's like no but what there's a spider that one doesn't have a spirit the spider feels like it would be a spiritual thing nia knows how to read the spiders she's like nope that's that's a spiritless spider don't worry about it i know i know my spider spirits so they go to the main bedroom and he's he loves it because they have trace healings guys.

39:12The only home in town with trace healings. He's like, this is it. I found it. I saw this on social media and knew I was going to marry it. Yeah. They also, there's a, the bathroom is really nice and he is a big guy. He's tall. He's like a, he's a big, tall guy and the shower looks really big. It's really new. So it does look like a good bathroom for him. And then they go back down the stairs, they head down the stairs and she's like, oh but look at these stairs honey i've been chantere's like i mean the steps can you die she's like i just feel like a queen coming down these stairs i just want to emphasize for people who did not see this episode this is not a big grand open staircase like the one that theresa judas has in her home this is just a staircase with two walls alongside it and again at the end it's a walled in staircase it's like the least glamorous staircase you could imagine has she been on a staircase before it's like I love it it's so glamorous and he's like no this house is too sterile and there's no deck and she goes honey you know we could build it and he goes I'm not building a deck she goes you don't have to we would hire somebody honey it's like yeah that's more money babe do not understand so now they go sit at a restaurant and talk about what they're gonna get their rental's being sold so they're running out of time to find meemaw's house what are they gonna do so house number one is like big well we know what the houses are basically and we also kind of know exactly which house they're gonna go for at least i knew i was like they're gonna go with one the tray the tray ceiling because he's been obsessed with tray ceilings the only thing he's been more obsessed with in grandma's house has been tray ceilings and that's clearly what he's gonna go for yeah i thought he was gonna go for the cheapest one.

40:59I thought so too. And I actually liked that one. I actually liked that one the most, believe it or not. The other two were, were newer and more open, but they were just, they were so generic. And I thought the, I thought the older one was cute. And, you know, I thought it, I thought it would work well. Yeah. So they ended up getting the tray, the tray ceiling and they put in an electric fireplace. So she won something, you know? Yeah. It all worked out. It all, it all came together. and now they have a luxury house with a fireplace and she said I'm just kind of waiting to add some of my sparkle with some razzle dazzle and he goes you are the razzle dazzle now let's go fly some kites baby and that brings us to the end of House Hunt also thank you everyone for being here we really appreciate it super fun times and we will catch you on the next episode of Dwell Hello bye everyone Buh-bye!