Surviving a $35,000 Credit Card Scam, Job Loss and Foreclosure, with Tiffany Aliche, The Budgetnista

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27:53in terms of the 10 steps to wholeness do you see shame kind of show up as you address every step or is shame something that has to be overcome before you can even begin the 10 steps so to start you have to release some of it you know you're not going to ever release all of it but like, you know, throughout and you might not ever release all of it, you know, but you have to release some of it. So like I said, the first activity is like, find somebody you trust, find someone you can share this with. And also too, ideally, maybe they can be your accountability partner as you do these 10 steps. Right.

28:28So as you go through, if you're, if shame comes up for you, you have a place to send, this is where I messed up before. I always have a budget and I never do it. You know? So it's just like, so your friend can be like, yeah, me too. That's why we could check in with each other every Friday. Or, you know, what if we automated it and we didn't have to worry about it? Or like, you know, maybe you did save. Like I had a friend of mine who she had saved and saved and saved and she was really happy because she wanted to buy a house or a car or something. And then something broke down in her life, you know, and she had to address it with the money she'd saved in her emergency savings.

29:03And her initial reaction was like, oh, this always happens. Like, what's the point? And I was like, well, I know you here. Once again, I have like an emergency. What I hear is, oh my gosh, I actually have emergency savings for an emergency. How awesome is that? Right. And she was like, wait, I never, wait, I didn't think about it. I'm like, cause I said before you would have the emergency without the savings. Right. Yeah. She was like, right. I was like, you know, like how awesome is that? That like you actually can address the emergency without disrupting the rest of your financial life. And it's a reframe.

29:39Right, exactly. And so like, you know, having your accountability partner work through you as you work through your 10 steps to homeless can really be helpful. But at the very least, having someone in the beginning to do that initial opening up. Right. That reframe is so critical. So we actually, we cut this from the Netflix movie. We had to cut it for time. But Lindsay, who I was working with, the exact situation happened with her where she'd been saving and saving and saving. And then she needed a car repair. She initially was feeling really down because she was like, I've been side hustling.

30:12I've been walking dogs. I've been doing freelance art. I've made all of the side hustle income. And then, boom, now it just goes back into my car. I gave her that exact reframe. I was like, Lindsay, Lindsay, what I hear is you have the money. Yes. You have the money to be able to address this car issue. Yeah. Isn't that amazing? And so to see someone kind of light up and say, oh, I never thought about that because I never would have been ready before. So let's go over the 10 steps since we've alluded to it. Yeah. So the reason why I call the book Made Whole is because it's like at the end, my hope is that you will holistically get to this full financial life.

30:56Each of these 10 steps is 10%. And so as you do them, you're like, well, I'm 20 % whole. And then at the end, you're 100%. So the first five steps are the foundational steps. That is how to budget, save, get out of debt, or at least manage your debt responsibly, credit, and learning to earn. So those are the foundational steps. If you do those, first and foremost, it's a really great place to be like, okay, I feel secure and relatively safe. And the next five steps build upon that. So that is investing for both wealth and retirement. that is your insurance to protect your assets that is um your net worth you know making sure you own more than you own right that is your financial team you know like building a team around you because money is a team sport and lastly that is estate planning so those steps yes like the yes leaving a legacy and so if you do those 10 steps and you really get good at them then you will have a good solid financial life to build the rest of your life on.

32:03Right. You don't have to have the pile of money at the end of the rainbow and never have to work again. I mean, that's awesome if you get that. But if you never make your million dollars, you can still live a very great life and you can be made whole as a result of it. Right. Step five, learning to earn. You can spend an entire lifetime doing just that. because that learning to earn, developing new skills, learning how to apply those skills to side hustles and grow those into businesses. I mean, that is a work of a hundred years. Yes. So in that step, I tried to make sure we ran the gamut. I said, okay, I want you to learn to earn where you currently work.

32:42Like, how do you ask for a raise? How do you, what I call illustrate your Oprah, like illustrate your overwhelming value. So that way your job says, oh my gosh, we're actually not giving you a raise. This is just a payroll correction. Right. We should have been paying more all this time. But also, how do you earn outside of your regular job? If you wanted to side hustle, what does that look like? I have some rules for side hustling that I go over to make sure you make the most of your time. And if you wanted to have a business, what does that look like if you wanted to make money like outside of that?

33:15Yeah. So let's go over the rules of your rules of side hustling to make sure that you're making the most of your time. So what I go over is that, well, one, I say, ideally, you want to look for a side hustle that either you have a certificate or a degree in, like the subject matter that you're going to be side hustling in. That's already your expertise. Yes. Right. Or something that you're already doing. So, for example, when I used to tutor, I could charge more because I was already a teacher and I had my master's in education. Right. So if everybody else is getting paid$25 an hour, I could demand 50.

33:52Because they're like, well, you have your master's in education. So yes. So it allows you to charge more. And then the second rule is ideally something that you are currently doing, something similar. So when I tutored or babysat, I didn't have to learn a new skill set. Remember, side hustle, the purpose of a side hustle is just strictly to make money. It's not like this is not your passion for life. you know so for me it meant that i didn't have to after work also think about now i have to learn how to bake cakes because wait it's like no no it's just an extension of you do this syphony i could tutor and babysit eyes closed you know what i mean so it's like because the purpose of the side hustle was not to grow i wasn't unless you know you're wanting to like start like a business on the side but it was just i need to make money and the third rule is it needs to make money right Right.

34:43You know, because sometimes we do stuff and you're like, OK, you're doing all this back work, but you need to make money now. You know, like that's that's why I feel so disheartened when I see people invest a thousand, ten thousand, whatever money to learn how to side hustle. Because it's like hustling backwards. You know what I mean? Like because it's like you're investing all of this money to learn something new. I much rather if you are a maintenance man, say at a school, that you do handyman work on the weekends. You know what I mean? Right. So it's just like, I know how to fix stuff. That's an interesting distinction between, I guess, a side hustle versus a side business.

35:21Yes. Right? A side hustle is just, you're just hustling for some dollars. A side business. Yes. You're more, you know, because then you might want to invest and say, I do like, you know what? I'm interested in photography. I want the side hustle to maybe one day become a business. So I don't mind buying the camera. Right. I wasn't starting a tutoring company. Right. Right. I was like, I'm here for the coin and make sure these babies learn how to read. So other than that, I was like, then I don't want to invest any more additional time or money into learning how to do this thing. So I'll give you an example.

35:53My friend, Linda, who I talked to you about before, she is a social worker. That's what she went to school for. She's currently getting her master's. Her grandmother lived with her and was really ill for a long time. So Linda, as a social worker, plus having her grandmother at home, got really good at getting resources that were available. So her grandmother, for example, they needed a ramp. So there are people she's helped that that needed transportation to the doctor's office or someone would actually come and clean your home. There's all of these like social services that you might not know that you can have, but you need someone to advocate for you.

36:31So she started to become what I used to call her, like the side of the name of her side hustle business was the on-call advocate where you would call Linda and for like a hundred dollars or whatever it is, she would advocate on your behalf because her social work background. Right. She was doing that already at work. Yeah. And then she also had the heart for it because she also saw it firsthand through her grandmother, like people weren't as open. And she was like, no, no, no. Statute 2221 says that she does get groceries delivered to her house. Wow. You know, can you get your supervisor on the phone?

37:00or no, she is eligible for a ramp. Or no, everybody didn't even know that they had these eligibilities, but what a great way to take what she was doing at work, all that she was learning and she didn't have to learn this new skillset. She took it in and this on-call advocate was great. Plus too, she loved to do it. Right. She was like, I love when someone gets something. They're like, wait, I get groceries. I get a visit to the doctor and I don't have to drive. It's like, yeah. Wow. You know, these things are available to you. So another example is my friend Rihanna. I met her because I was renovating my home and I posted like on social looking for like a designer and a joint friend of ours was like, oh, my friend Rihanna, I think she might be a really good fit.

37:46Rihanna was, she has her master's in design and she worked mostly for corporate. So she would work for different hotels and stuff to redesign rooms and things, but she really wanted to get into residential. It was like, here's my main job working for corporate. I have my degree in architecture and design, but I wanted to get into this like residential where I don't really have an in, but it's, it's a side hustle that I hope one day to become a main hustle. So for first kind of like foray was like, she became an adjunct professor at a school. So that was one of her first side hustles to see, can I make extra money on the side?

38:23And she could, but she knew I don't want to be a professor like for real, for real. Right. You know, this was just, that was the actual side hustle, side hustle. But the side business was, I met her and I was her first client and she was like learning, like, I don't need to learn the design part. That's what I do. But this other residential part, it's different. The client is different. It's way more personal. You know, they don't have a bajillion dollar budget like corporate. How does that look like working? I have to build my own team in corporate. It's like, I make the design and they hire whoever, but here it's like, I've got to find the contractor and the electrician and the plumber.

38:59And so it's been, I want to say five or six years. And I just bought a new condo. She's doing my new condo now, but she's had so many clients since then. And she's left corporate since then. She's not an adjunct professor anymore. This is her full-time business and job now. So she was able to make this transition from like, she loved to do the work, but not in corporate. So just keeping that in mind that it's okay to do a thing just because it makes you money. Right. But it's also okay to say, here's the thing that makes me money. But I think I also may want this to be like my thing thing because you cannot save your way to wealth.

39:35Exactly. You know? So it's like, I wanted that to be part of the foundational part of the book because I want you to learn to make money and then what to do with it after in the second half of the book. Right. And I love that distinction. Like when you start, is this a hustle or am I planting the seeds of what I hope to one day be my thing thing, my full-time business. I like that.

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42:16Of those foundational pieces, budgeting, saving, you know, I think we can kind of skip over those. The investing piece, I'm assuming your index funds passively managed as a teacher. Are there any pieces of that that have been difficult for people to understand or where you've gotten pushback? One of my roles as a teacher is to never tell you what to do, but to give you all the information so you can make the best choice for you and do it. Right. So even though that's what I would suggest, like, oh, index funds and then, you know, fee only. And but instead, so in the investment chapter, I open up with one, the difference between investing for retirement and investing for wealth.

43:04I think one of the worst sayings or phrases that came out of the financial space is when people say, I'm saving for retirement. I know. I hate that. Yeah. I've had that thought so many times. I hate that phrase. Yes, because you're not saving for retirement. Right. You're investing for retirement. Yeah. Because you say that, especially women, I find, they're like, oh, I don't invest. You do. Right. You're 401k, right? You're investing. Maybe not actively, but you are. And so one, I wanted people to understand that when you invest for retirement, I do this fun activity where I'm like, look around, look at your couch, look at your TV.

43:40That's the life you're going to have in retirement. When you invest for retirement is to maintain your current lifestyle. Because I think on TV, you see people talk about investing for retirement and you're going to live on an island. No. Investing for retirement is to help maintain your current lifestyle. It is the basis of like everyone should be doing investing. But when you invest for wealth, like, which is once you get the retirement part down, it's kind of automated. We're good. Investing for wealth is to improve your current lifestyle and leave a financial legacy. So I like to separate those because not everybody wants to invest for wealth and that's okay.

44:14You know, but everybody needs to invest for retirement. So you can maintain your lifestyle that you can eat healthy. You can live someplace safe. You can get the medicine and the healthcare that you need. And so we start with investing for retirement and all the ways that you can do so, like whether you're self-employed, whether your job offers a 401k or not, what is even a 401k, you know, like what is, you know, what is a Roth IRA? What is a regular IRA? So there's a lot of definitions in that chapter because I find people are like, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm like, the teacher in me, you know, when you talk for a long time, you can tell in students' faces, you're like, they don't know what I'm talking about.

44:54Yeah, yep. Like, I remember when I used to teach preschool, I would be saying, OK, today, guys, we're going to learn a a like apple. And there will be a couple of kids like, what's an apple? And so I'm realizing like, OK, we got to dial all the way back. Let me go get an apple from the kitchen. I'm like, this is an apple. Oh, OK, OK, OK, OK. One thing I'm really good at now is that I actually don't need the student in front of me to know when you're not going to get it. And so there are parts in made whole where I go, I double back to re-explain again in a different way. Right. Because I know that you might not get it.

45:30Now, some people are going to breeze right through only because I've taught that lesson enough to know the questions that I've gotten from people. Yeah. Like, so what is that again? And I'm like, so I will rephrase it someplace else in a different way. So that way you get it twice. And so that's what the first half of that chapter is all about investing for retirement, ideally automating it. If you don't do anything else, like, you know, looking into a target date fund, if you don't do anything else, but understanding the fees involved and just like what to look for, you know, because later on in the book, I share about looking for a financial advisor and I want you to have the tools and the language to have a conversation.

46:07Right. Because every profession has its own language. Yeah, exactly. Exactly. And then the second half is really the fun half for me, which is of that chapter, which is investing for wealth. Right. And so there I'm like, before we get started, let's do a quiz of what kind of investor are you? Are you passive? Are you active? Are you in between? You know, are you someone? And then I have you do like a fun quiz to kind of figure out, are you someone who kind of like, I want to get my hands dirty. I don't mind doing research every week. Are you like every once in a while, I don't mind doing a little research, but I'm busy.

46:41Or if you're like, hands off, I don't even know what to do. You know, so, cause I want to identify what that is. And then the vehicles, here's what it looks like to do everything yourself. Here's what it looks like to do it yourself with a guidance. You know, here's what it looks like to, to like watch on the sidelines as someone is doing it, but still watching. Right. Right. I do something similar. I teach a course on real estate investing and at the beginning of the module around how to find a property, I start that off with a quiz and it's like, what's your find finding personality? Cause there are these different archetypes, right?

47:16There's the archetype of like the deal maker. And those are the people who they're looking for off market deals. And they're doing so by just building their network and talking to people. And there are some people who like they're extroverts and they're just that's they love that kind of like chit chat with a wide group of people. And that's really their thing. And then there are other people who are like hunters, you know, and they're more data driven. And so like I put the students through this quiz and they're all of these, you know, it points you to an archetype and that archetype really illustrates your personality, your likes, your dislikes, your skills, your interests.

47:53And that guides the investment choices that you make. If you are a passive investor and then you're like, oh, I bought all these like stock courses. I don't know. I'm not doing well. I'm like, cause you're, you're not really up for doing the weekly daily work of hunting and finding stocks. And there's nothing wrong with that. It's just like, you know, you are a, a, what is it? A square peg trying to fit into a round hole. Right. What I'm saying is like, there is success, no matter what kind of investor you are. Yeah. Find the fit. That's the fit for you. Exactly. In that chapter, we go through that.

48:28We talk about like now that you know your investment personality, you know, here are some vehicles that might be a fit. You know, maybe you need a financial advisor if you're like totally hands off, you know, ETFs or mutual funds, you know, might be especially ETFs if you're more in between because it lets you do a little something, but not all the things. If you're hyperactive, you're like, so maybe you want to invest, you know, in stocks and pick your own stocks. And so we kind of go over like what your choices are and there's no judgment on any of the choices. It's just choosing a choice that's best for you.

48:59And what does that look like? So you can have success no matter what you choose. And I go through kind of like the pros and cons, you know, like of each, you know, we all know what socks is like the greater risk, but the greater reward. Right. You know, and with mutual funds is that certainly you don't have to do nearly as much, but you pay for that handholding. That fee is going to be higher. Right. You know, and then a financial advisor, it's going to be even higher because you have super handhold, super specific to you. And there's nothing wrong with that. Like, but you should just know there's this cost, you know, for every, you know, every choice that you choose.

49:32And so I'm not here to tell anybody what to choose, but here are your choices so you can make the best ones for you. And so I've had people say, I remember there was this young woman named Deja, who's now my mentee. She was on TikTok and she made my first book, my first traditionally published book, Get Good With Money, Go Viral. she was like 22, 23. And she was like, this book has helped me. I have an IRA, a Roth IRA. I didn't even know what that was before. And I thought that was so awesome for her that it was broken down enough that she was like, she felt confident to go and get one for herself in a way.

50:06She's like, I get it now. I know what to choose. I know what kind of investor I am. I know how to automatically have my money deposited and I know where to put my money. So once it's in there, The investment part is so critically important because making money is only the first step. Growing it is essential. That's why specifically of the 10 steps, I wanted to call out those two, the learn to earn and the invest. And I love the framework of distinguishing investing for retirement, which we all must do, whether we want to or not. It's a requirement versus investing for wealth, which is optional.

50:43Yes. Yes. And I want people to realize that. I think because we conflate the two, that's like, some people would be like, well, I don't want to be rich. It's like, okay, then don't. But you do want to be safe in your retirement, I would hope. So make sure you just focus your energy there. Do you work with a financial advisor? I do. Her name is Anjali. She's awesome. Because I had reached, the budget needs to start to just do really well. I want to say maybe, I mean, it was doing well, but financially well for me, I want to say five or six years ago, It just really started to pick up in a way that it was beyond the scope of what I could manage.

51:17And I'd been really scared to get a financial advisor because I'd made a mistake with Jake the thief. So I was afraid to ask someone for help again because I equated help might mean I might get scammed again. First things first, I said, you have to ask around. I need a CPA. I need a financial advisor. I need a whatever that is. And what I did was I list four or five people that you might need. I say everyone must have an accountability partner, you know, like that's just important, you know, but then you might may or may not need an accountant or CPA. You may or may not need an insurance agent.

51:52You may or may not need a financial advisor. These are things that I listed, explain what they do and how they get paid, but I make it clear. I want you to know what they do to see if you need that or not. Now I know that there's websites, you know, like XYZ planning and wealth ramp and things. But at the time I posted on like social media to my friends on Facebook. I was like, Hey, looking for a financial advisor, please share. If you have one or you know one, it's great. Share them in the comments. And then it was maybe like 15 or 20 people in the comments. And I just remember like thinking, this is overwhelming.

52:26I don't want to interview 20 people. How do I have them pre-vet themselves? And so I created for myself, um, a document called my so-called financial life. You know, Remember, if some of you guys are too young, I grew up with my so-called, you know. With Claire Danes. Yes, with MTV. So I called it that. And it's everything you need to know about Tiffany and her money. How old I was. How much credit I had. My business is everything that you can think of. I mean, not like my bank numbers or anything like that. You know, just like how much money, what was navigating through my life, you know. But then also.

53:00Like a snapshot. Yes. What my financial goals and dreams were. basically I thought to myself if they were to interview me what questions are they likely to ask because I know me I'm going to meet you and forget oh I forgot to tell them that I have this one credit card so I'm like I don't want to do that plus I really wanted like here's what I want to accomplish by the age of 50 I want to have this amount of money do you think you can help me with these things and of the 20 so I emailed them said hey such and such recommend you a financial advisor looking for someone. I created a document, you know, with my financial life in a snapshot and my hopes and goals and dreams.

53:37Do you think you can help? I was a business owner of multiple businesses as well as, you know, I own some real estate as well as just me personally. And what I love, and this was unintentional, but what I love is people came back to me and said, this is so great. I actually wouldn't be a fit for you. I focus on DeForesees. I focus on school teachers. I focus on, so about six of them pull themselves out of the running, which great. Perfect. Perfect. That's exactly what you mean. I mean, I thought that wasn't really, I didn't know what I was thinking that was going to happen. I just thought, oh, they'd see it.

54:08We'd have a call and at least they'd have all my stuff. But I thought, how awesome is that? That, you know, I don't have to get on call with six people, you know? And so for that, those two weeks I interviewed the rest and I didn't have to wonder, did I forget to tell them a thing? So they went over what I had already done. They're like, this is like the most comprehensive thing. And when I told them I did for a living, they're like, yeah, that sounds about right. You know? And what I love is that because it was so comprehensive, there's a woman named Amy who was great, but she was like, you know, looking at this Tiffany and really diving deeper with you, you need someone who has a strong focus on people who own businesses.

54:45She's like, I have people who have businesses, but you have like four. So a number of people suggested this woman who wasn't on my list named Anjali. So she's like the financial advisor's financial advisor and I was like, huh, someone was like, you should speak to Anjali. And that's why I wrote her name down. And then like two more interviews later, you know what? I think Anjali might be a fit. I was like, you're the third person that said that. And so then after I interviewed everyone and I kind of, for everybody, I kind of like had like a sheet for them. So I could remember like, oh, I really like Amy's personality and I love that she was this.

55:13And so that way I could get clarity on like who, when I went back to look to see who I was going to choose. And I said, you know what, let me add Anjali to the list. And I did, and I interviewed them and they were a hundred percent right. Not only was Anjali a CFP, a certified financial planner, she was a CPA, a certified public accountant. And so, and she specialized in people with high net worth people with businesses. Anjali's husband is a doctor with his own practice. So a lot of her clients actually were doctors with their own practice or practices. So she was very familiar with the accounting side, the business side, the personal side.

55:50And so she was the perfect mix. So people will sometimes come to me and say, Oh, I want to work with Anjali. I'm like, you don't have a business. Right. It wouldn't make sense. You'd be paying her all this money for the expertise. She's not going to bring to the table for that particular thing. Right. You know? Right. And so I was just like, you know, so, so it's been really great. Like, so I put that in the book, like, I'm like, here is your so-called financial life. This is literally my sheet that before you meet, here's the questions to ask. So then you could fill them in for everybody that you meet.

56:19And then two, here's your so-called financial life. So you can share that ahead of time so they can qualify or disqualify themselves. And so that was really important to me. I wanted you to do the work that I did to, to help me get where I am. Right. You know, that this is not just, it's like, Oh, it's not theoretical. It was like, here's the work that I actually did. And the work of the people that I've helped along the way that actually works. So you can do the step, do the work, do the step, read the step, do the work. And so, yeah, that's like one of my favorite parts. And I've been working with Anjali now for, and like I said, like five years and she's been amazing.

56:54In the beginning, we really focused heavily on me. And then maybe by year two, we really got into the business side. And then she really became like part of the team. So I have my CFO, George A. I have a CPA, Jayleen, her name is, and then I have Anjali and then I have my attorney, Tony. And so there was a time we were trying to decide whether the business should go from an S corp to a C corp. And this is like the tax entities. Right. Yeah. And so the five of us, these five brilliant women were on this call and everyone put in their expertise based upon, you know, Tony as the attorney was like, well, here's what I'm seeing in this space.

57:33If it makes sense. You know, at the time I was with a CPA, Angie was like, well, from the tax perspective, dot, dot, dot Anjali was like, well, from the Tiffany personal perspective, if she does that, what, what would that look like for the amount of money she wants to make? Cause I know what her goal is. Right. CFP. It was like, well, based upon the business's health, this would help. So it was so amazing. And I was like, look what happens when you have a financial team. Right. I no longer have to be worried about Jake, the thief coming in anymore because I've got offers that come in and I bring it to Anjali and they will kick it around the table.

58:07And so they're, and they're going to catch the scam. Right. There is one. And so not everyone's going to need all of that. It's just because I have my multiple businesses. Yeah. You might just need your accountability partner. Right. You might need an accountability partner and a financial advisor or and an accountant. But what I implore is that no one does money alone. Right. You know what's beautiful about what you just described is they are all at the table together. Yes. You know, I've had experiences where, you know, I've had attorneys and I've had accountants, but I'm having individual one-on-one conversations with each of them.

58:40And so I'll talk to my accountant and I'll be like, yes, but my business attorney said this. If you think of a hub and spoke model, right? You're the middle. Yeah, I'm the middle. And then I'm like literally speaking. I'm spoke to all of them. But what's so much more efficient and also gets better results is putting everybody at the same table together for the same shared meeting. And ideally, that is the role of your financial advisor if you decide to get one. They are at the center. That is your primary care provider. And they send you to specialists. Well, a good financial planner doesn't necessarily send you to a specialist.

59:18Instead, they will work with a specialist you already have. You know, because Anjali doesn't upsell, like use this insurance. It's like, who's your insurance agent already? Right. You know, I can make some suggestions, but if you already have them, you know, that's great. You know, I can talk to them. I'll forget sometimes because I'll say something and she's like, well, I can just call George and navigate that. I'm like, oh, that's right. I forgot you do that. You know, Or like when I was doing estate planning, Tony, my attorney, and I was doing a trust and a will, and she was asking me something.

59:45And I was like, oh, I don't know. She's like, well, I'll just call Tony. I'm like, that's right. I don't speak legalese. So I was like, so I saw the email exchange back and forth. Hey, Tony, Tiffany, you know, like when it came to this part, I didn't see quite this. And Tony's like, oh, no. And the new estate planning law. So they're going back and forth. And so it's just having a financial team. Like I said, you might be listening and you might be like, I don't need all. You don't. You likely don't need all that I have. Right. But I promise you, you're going to need something at the very least, your accountability partner.

1:00:17Right. Excellent. Well, thank you for spending this time with us. Is there anything that I haven't asked about that you really want to emphasize? Well, I hope those listening who are needing help step by step when it comes to their money, November 21st, Made Whole, Made Available. It is a companion copy to Get Good With Money. And it is for those who not only want to learn the work, but do the work alongside of the learning. It's literally me, teacher Tiffany, sitting beside you, working through it with you, providing all the tools and resources you need for success. And it's available at MadeWholeWorkbook.com.

1:00:55Beautiful. So, yeah. We will link to that in the show notes. Awesome. Absolutely. Oh, and final, final question. Do you know your protege in Get Smart With Money in our Netflix documentary? Do you have any updates on her? How is she doing? She's good. So when, so Ariana, what I love, not really love, but she like, I think she like broke her ankle at some point afterward. And she was like, she had run up her credit card bill again. And Ariana, if you watch the show, she was really down on herself. Right. And I remember talking to her after that. She was like, I rented my credit card, but that's okay.

1:01:31Cause this was never her language. She said, that's okay. Because I have this debt paid on plan and I'm going to automate it. And I'm like, and I was like, Oh my goodness. It's, I wasn't so worried about like the debt. It was, she had shifted. She realized that that financial setback, it's like, like everything was, she was bad. Not the thing itself. The shame. Yeah. Because she couldn't fix it before. Right. Because all she saw was I'm a bad mom. I'm a bad wife. I'm a bad with my money. I'm a bet because her money told her that she felt that like, I'm bad as a result of the mistakes that I've made.

1:02:07Like I'm a mistake. Not this is a mistake. Right. Exactly. So when she said like, don't get up to one, because she could see solutions now, her side hustle really became starting to make more than her main job. So she's that really picked up. I know. Yes. Nice. Yes. And then she was also like, you know, so by this time I should be debt free again, because this is what I have in place. I almost wept happy tears because I was like, oh my gosh, she's got it. Because I told her, I said, Ariana, now that you have that, that stays with you forever. There's always going to be something that happens. There's always going to be mistakes and slip ups.

1:02:42But that mindset shift means that you will always be able to return back home. Right. You know, to a safe space where you'll be okay. And so like, yeah, it's been a little while since I've spoken to her last, but that's where she was. And I just am so proud of her. That's beautiful. That's beautiful. How about Lindsay? Oh, Lindsay's doing super well. So Lindsay got her biggest art commission ever. She got to design a billboard. So there's this big billboard right over Austin, Texas, where she did all the art. She did all the design. And the billboard went up the same weekend of her 10-year high school reunion.

1:03:16Oh, my gosh. So she got to go to her high school reunion and be like, that's me. That's what I did. I love that. I love that. I'm so proud of her. What a go-getter. Yeah. Yeah. I love that. Hopefully Netflix, hint, hint, hint. Yeah. Yeah. Netflix, we need a follow-up. I mean. Exactly. Yes. Exactly. You know, a lot of people have thought that it was a series. Yes. I don't know why it wasn't. I don't know. Because I keep hearing that from people over and over. They were like, that was a movie? I thought it was a series. Yeah. You know? I mean, honestly, people, it would be great to have the update of, like, who we helped and then the new people that we were helping.

1:03:52Yeah. Exactly. Exactly. And I think they did a really good job of the mix. Yeah. Because oftentimes, you know, you see these things, you're like, I don't see myself. You know, they had a great mix of the different financial educators and advisors, which I thought was great. But they also had a great mix of the financial challenges. Exactly. Exactly. Right? Yeah. So it was perfect. Yeah. Hit, hit Netflix. Let's do it again. Yes. Awesome. Well, thank you so much for coming on the show. Thank you for having me, Paul. Thank you, Tiffany. What key takeaways did we get from this conversation? Here are three.

1:04:28Number one, in order to manage money well for the rest of our lives, we need to learn how to work through shame. Shame plays a huge role in our financial decisions. And if we don't deal with it, then this can be the reason that we're unable to improve our financial situation. Our focus stays on the shame of getting into and being in a tough situation to begin with. Our focus stays in the past rather than where it belongs, which is in the present, where we focus on finding ways out of the situation. So if we can release shame, then we're able to focus on the present, which is where we are most constructive.

1:05:19One of the things I learned through therapy is that the only way to release shame is to give voice to it. You have to tell someone, your therapist, your mom, your dad, someone who is not going to judge you, who's going to give you a safe space to land. And so for me, it was my best friend, Linda, because shame loves silence. Yeah. You know, it's like, don't say anything. Stay here with me. You know? Right. So shame is like the Disney villain. like nobody's going to understand. Everyone's going to think like what a fool you are. Look at you, look at you, look at you. And the moment you tell someone that cares about you and they're like, is that all?

1:05:58You're all of a sudden you're like, is it all? Is it as big as I've made it feel? Learning how to work through shame is part of learning how to improve our financial lives. That is the first of three key takeaways. Key takeaway number two, We need to reframe our financial setbacks. Financial setbacks happen to everyone. They can be demoralizing to the point where it could keep someone from continuing to work on making financial progress. But they don't have to be. Setbacks don't have to be demoralizing. Setbacks can simply help you realize how to better empower yourself. And you can do that with a simple mindset shift.

1:06:43I had a friend of mine who she had saved and saved and saved and she was really happy because she wanted to buy a house or a car or something. And then something broke down in her life, you know, and she had to address it with the money she'd saved in her emergency savings. Her initial reaction was like, oh, this always happens. Like, what's the point? And I was like, well, I know you here. Once again, I have like an emergency. What I hear is, oh, my gosh, I actually have emergency savings for an emergency. How awesome is that? And she was like, wait, I didn't think about it. I'm like, because I said before you would have the emergency without the savings.

1:07:20And she was like, right. I was like, you know, like how awesome is that? That like you actually can address the emergency without disrupting the rest of your financial life. Finally, key takeaway number three. There are some rules around side hustles. You know, side hustles are a hot topic because who doesn't want extra money? Extra income is fantastic, but figuring out the right side hustle for you, that can be an incredible challenge. And picking the wrong side hustle can become an enormous waste of time and energy. Tiffany talks through a few things that you should remember when you're trying to figure out your ideal side hustle.

1:08:02ideally you want to look for a side hustle that either you have a certificate or a degree in like the the subject matter that you're that you're going to be side hustling in that's already your expertise yeah right or something that you're already doing so for example when i used to tutor i could charge more because i was already a teacher and i had my master's in education so if everybody else is getting paid 25 an hour i could demand 50 right because they're like well you have your master's in education. So yes. So it allows you to charge more. And then the second rule is ideally something that you are currently doing something similar.

1:08:41So when I tutored or babysat, I didn't have to learn a new skillset. Right. You know, remember side hustle, the purpose of a side hustle is just strictly to make money. It's not like, you know, this is not your passion for life, you know? So for me, it meant that I didn't have to, after work, also think about Now I have to learn how to bake cakes. So those are three key takeaways from this conversation with the budget Nista, Tiffany Aliche. Thank you so much for tuning in. If you enjoyed this episode, please share it with a friend or a family member. That is the single most important thing that you can do to spread the message of having great financial health.

1:09:22You can also subscribe to the show notes at affordanything.com slash show notes. you'll get a synopsis of every episode. Plus for the Ask Paula and Joe episodes, you'll get the timestamps of every question. So it's a great resource to have that text read at your fingertips. You can get that for free by going to affordanything.com slash show notes and signing up there. Finally, make sure that you are following us on your favorite podcast playing app. And while you're there, please leave us a review. Thank you again for tuning in. My name is Paula This is the Afford Anything Podcast, and I will catch you in the next episode.