Fashion Neurosis with Christian Louboutin

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1:11Hi, come in.

1:18Welcome to Fashion Neurosis, Christian Louboutin. Thank you. Can you tell me what you're wearing today and why you chose these particular clothes? I can try, but I have to say it's been a very complicated decision because I knew that I was going to see you lie down on a coach. So it was a lot of factors that I had to take into consideration, which I never do in general. I've never been lying on a coach. And I never saw you with that conscious. so it's been really one of the most difficult decisions that I ever had to do in my life I have a feeling but anyway I thought does it have to have a meaning probably it should should I be natural thinking of not thinking and going the way I was gave me a headache just thinking in that direction so it was really really difficult so bottom line uh i came as i was and i arrived from manchester so i took the trade in that outfit the only thing that i did is that i changed my t-shirt in case i had to speak of something so i put a t-shirt with a meaning and it's what does it say it's i don't remember what it says but it say something it's it says life has a purpose i don't remember it's a quote by dolly parton that's the one thing i do remember and it's a quote which i liked and as i loved dolly parton i thought a good quote of dolly parker would make it on a t-shirt so i have this t-shirt under which is my protective t-shirt otherwise again i thought probably let's try to have a meaning and again i never think that way when i dress up in general i go to a pair of shoes and i think what could go with that pair of shoes that's kind of about it but this time i thought okay i have these pairs of jeans which were given to be then the shirt i have no idea where it's coming from but it looked like a jacket and it's very warm and coming from France.

3:47But just before that, I was in Brazil. I was really concerned by being cold and not catching a flu or something, which I started to do, as you can hear maybe, with my nose taken. And so I actually really looked at my shoes. and I thought a shoe is really a shape before anything else. So I have these shoes that I did which has a bit of a cloudy shape. So I thought, I hate clouds, but I like cloud shapes. So I thought, okay, I'm going to have my cloudy shape, Mokassa. And it's all the same color. I've never seen you in a shape of shoe like that. Are they new, these shoes? Not really new. I mean, I have them for a few years, but they're still new to me because I barely wear them.

4:45I love them, but I barely wear them. And so they're two or three or four years ago. They're almost quite minimalist in your style. like the line is um it's like you've drawn it on i really like yes it's like a sketch it's like an unfinished sketch and yes so it's really a concentration just on the last and the rest is almost if you take a pen or pencil i don't know what it's gras when it's when you have a razor with it pencil so if you take a pencil and you take a 4b which is already a greasy one and then you you know you almost sharpened with it yeah so yes it's just light the line is reinforced by an outline of a different color yeah it's really nice and thank you i always associate you with color a lot and today your color is in your socks so it's quite a kind of muted color palette for you and from my position your socks match perfectly the soles of your shoes you have like this red herringbone red and white herringbone so you have a good point of view yes angle of view if you angle a very good vantage i always need to have something with colors i never wear black apart from if it's a black tie or funerals which often looks like the same and uh but i never wear black i wear colors in general but if i don't wear colors i always have something in colors for instance everything which is dark that i had made such as suits or things like that the lining would be the color i can't imagine myself surrounded by black or draped in black i remember that really be the creeps because When I first started my brand or a certain point, I used to give you jumpers and they were always black and you very politely showed enthusiasm.

6:56At a certain point you said, I don't really wear black. And then I sort of had an epiphany. Black with something works. Black all over black. Also, when I'm in black in general is because I gain weight. So being black for me is being in the worst shape that I've been in general. So I associate black with hiding. Or I don't hide, or I don't like hiding. And do you remember the first time in your life you found a piece of clothing that made you feel different? I would not remember that moment, because it probably happened at a very, very early age. I do remember always liking to dress up, but when I look at pictures of me as a child, I see things and I'm thinking how could I be dressed like that how come I didn't scream or something it's so weird that when you like so much to dress up you see clothes of you on you or the child which is you and you're thinking what was I thinking to let myself to be dressed in such a way and I guess it's a very nice thing of I like the idea that I was not conscious, I couldn't care less of clothes as a child, as an early child, because now I see having daughters age 10, they've been concerned about wearing their dress for years.

8:42I have no clue what I was wearing, and I really don't remember being conscious of I like this or I don't like this, age 7, 8, 9 or 10. And I immediately became conscious of, let's say, appearing with clothes around 11. I remember dressing up, that's for sure. And I remember, for instance, I was checked. The only mirror that we had in the apartment in Paris, at my parents' apartment, was in the bedroom of my parents. So there was a big mirror next to the bed of my parents. so I would look at myself just before going to school and I do remember looking at myself thinking that I looked good but it's not the first thing but the first look but let's say it's the first time that I do remember something connected to how I was dressed and I said okay now I go to school and my mother says you're not doing your school like that I said what do you mean?

9:49she said no you're not dress properly to go to school. You have to change. And I say, no, why? So we had an argument. So I had a pair of shorts. I had a very pointy shoes, laced up shoes that you had from the 50s. Like Winkle Pickers. I don't know in English. Gégen in French, rock and roll shoes in suede. you know red shoes they were maroon I had a tank top of panel velvet I had round kind of inflammable fluo yellow glasses with a necklace of that I made of grid for the two colors. Light green, lime green and darker green. So my mother said, you're not going to dress like that. I said, what do you mean?

10:56She says, you need socks with these shoes. You need socks. You will not go without socks. It doesn't go with my look. I don't want to wear socks. She obliged me to wear socks. I said, okay. she was going dramatic if I was that wear those socks I put the socks left the apartment that five minutes after I removed the socks I was at school like that so that's probably the first time I do remember discussing a look and it was a big argument socks or those socks your mother sounded like a remarkable person um she allowed you to leave home and live with a much older man when you were a teenager do you think her trust in your decision making was part of what's made you such a good decision maker I think that uh yeah my buzzer has been very instrumental in my behavior but also in my character and in my confidence so I think that trusting people is very important and trust with love is a very good mix it's a very very good combo and she loved me so she trusted me and she trusted me so she loved me and she let me be the way I was and so having no boundaries somehow is exposing yourself to your own boundaries instead of the boundaries which are not belonging to you but which are belonging to your parents, to society, to your family, to your siblings, whatever.

12:44So I had to create my own boundaries. I think it's been very good for me and it's been very good for her, let's say for the family because she didn't have to be afraid. She didn't have to take any decision which was probably boring. and again I refer to her because I think that I'm a little bit like that with my kids. So yes, I think it's good to be trustful towards your children. Then I guess it's, you know, first of all, of course it is personal but also it depends so much of the child's character still. but I guess that it's really a combo you do understand naturally that according to your child character if you can or if you decide to trust your child and let it go and which means that I never had a downfall with my family I never had this age which is like teenager which is called in French Lashbet, the stupid age, where you hate everything, you hate your parents, you hate everything which is saying you rise, you roll up your eyes, you hate the world, the adult, everyone is so stupid.

14:10I never had that. I mean, I had that with many people, but not with my parents at least. And definitely that with my mother. That's so unusual. I mean, the description, her reaction to your outfit is such a good example that she must have been concerned about your feet getting cold or something instead of, you know, I thought you were going to say, she said you can't wear those clothes out, and instead she's wanting you to put some socks on. Yes, no, no, no, she was really concerned by the lack of socks. It would have looked really bad. And then after her death, you discovered that she'd had a love affair with an Egyptian, a young Egyptian man and that you're the result of that love affair.

14:59And I always remember we've been friends for 30 years and I remember asking you once, do you have Arabic blood? Because I lived in Morocco when I was a child and I've always had a strong affinity to that country. And you just said, are you crazy? And then you told me the story that your sister told you that this young man was your father. And I wondered if you'd ever met him and whether your artistic brilliance comes through him. You know, it's interesting that the few people I have been discussing the discovery of my biological father being Egyptian, women would ask if I wanted or if I had met that person never men men have never asked me my my male friends have never asked me about if I wanted or if I had met that person the reality is that no I have never met the guy and neither felt the need of beating.

16:12It's really the story of my mother.

16:17And I am the result of that story. So I'm very happy of the existence of that man. My father has been my father who educated me, who was next to me. So it's really the story of my mother. And I think that it's nice. If I feel, if one day I feel that I should meet or try to meet that person, I will do it. I have no problem with that. But it needs to come from a feeling, not from just curiosity. And the only thing that I think that it's way too vain, the only thing which kind of makes me want to maybe meet that person is that many times if I have to have my photography taken by a photographer, photographers always tell me, you have a beautiful smile.

17:12Yeah. My sister told me that was the first time she met that guy in our apartment in Paris. He say hello to her with a beautiful smile that he left by the window. Wow. So day after, same scenario. beautiful smile and he flew by the window sixth floor but above on the roof and the scenario went on and on and on and so i guess that i have the smile of that band but again it's the only reason where i would like to maybe see that band is just to see if we have exactly the same smile which i think we have but it's not enough of a reason to actually you know drag thing and whatever to to beat someone but i think that i have the smile of that man that's the thing which we have in common it's a nice thought really to have this this thing that it's you know i i'm conscious that it's a very vain thought but again it's funny because really photographers always tell me that So I've always been thinking, what is that smile they're talking about?

18:30And then when my sister told me that, I immediately thought, okay, so now I know where is my smile coming from. Well, a smile is such an uplifting, it's such a connecting thing. So it doesn't seem like vanity. It seems like some sort of alliance that it's a lovely description. and you do have this wonderful smile that makes everyone start falling around laughing immediately, which is one of your many qualities. Well, I'm happy about that. But again, I am conscious that entering a thing where I would want to meet that man who happened to be my father that I've never met would probably make me enter into a different zone.

19:24and if I had time, if I had, also if I was kind of empty or if I was looking for myself somewhere, somehow, or if I wanted to have a mission in my life that I don't have or whatever, maybe it would be a nice thing to do, but I'm quite busy and I'm quite happy. So it wouldn't be, I mean, I don't look for more happiness that I have. And I definitely don't look for more time-consuming anything that my life at that time, at that moment now. But again, I was very happy for my mother because she met that when she was in her late 30s and I thought that it's a beautiful story that I know as a fact in my family.

20:19I know that when you're a product of love, it can go both ways. You may be adored or you may be hated. You may be the person, the child may be that person who broke that love story between two people. One person left because of that child. Or the opposite, that child represents this huge love between two people and then you're becoming the nest of that, le creuset of that story. In my case, I am the positive side. I received all the love that she could not give anymore to that parent who literally fled when I was born. But it could happen a different way. Someone disappeared because you were born.

21:10But thank God, it's been very much the opposite for me. So I owned that parent to be born. but I own to my father who raised me to be alive. That's to be alive after being born, let's say. Yeah. What an amazing family you have. I know your parents are both dead now, but it's kind of an amazing story of really good values and really good feeling towards each other. Your parents sound like they had. I was always surprised when I was a kid when I was bringing back people in the apartment of my family it could be boyfriend, it could be girlfriend it could be anyone who was going to sleep and they were often surprised and I was like, why would they be surprised?

22:08It's a very random apartment it's nothing special there and i realized that they were surprised by the warmth the um the welcoming uh the easy welcoming i would come at four o 'clock in the morning i didn't have the key and i had to whistle we were living on the sixth floor without an elevator so floor number four i started to and then before the sixth floor so door was open and my boss would have opened the thing but she never never accepted that i would have the key she wanted to be woken up anytime so people were always surprised to see someone say oh i saw you free okay so take the bigger bed and she would go in my bed and give her bed which was bigger and so people were surprised it was natural to me You know, you're three people.

23:08It's easier to sleep at three people in a bigger bed than having your mother sleeping in a big bed and you're three in a small bed. So for her, it was simple. So for me, it was simple too. But I saw that the simplicity was seeming very complex to most people. But for a long time, I did not understand why. And then after I started to understand why, I still think she was right. if you're free take the bigger bed it sounds like me and Jimmy my son who's your godson I'm always I'm just so happy to see him even if it is at 3 in the morning I'd rather you know open the door and I'd rather he woke me up than end up in any kind of difficult situation yeah you're a good mother you're a great godfather I would be happier you as a i'm my mom okay that means a lot and i read somewhere that you'd said it depends on whether you want to feel dressed or undressed on which shoe you choose to start the day can you describe what that means first of all it's more uh having to see with women's shoes i would say that there is this thing on women's shoes not so much on men's shoes it's a very very different topic men's shoes and women's shoes but for women yes uh shoes can undress you or shoes can definitely dress you and it's it's a different it's a different pair of shoes it's different kind of shoes but when i have to dress up when i wake up the first thing i'm thinking is the shoes So I guess it's an extension of how you're going to want to feel during the day.

25:05And so that's why, for instance, when I am designing shoes, I really am conscious at one point to do something which is dressy or something which is undressy. I would say undressy is to kind of be able to exhibit yourself and dressy is to basically wear a mask. So some shoes are like a mask and some shoes are like the opposite of a mask. And I think it's more daring, of course, to be undressed. And saying that, I don't say that you want to be undressed all the time or you want to be undressed for everyone or you want to be undressed in front of everyone or you want to be undressed in the morning.

25:58I mean, you know. It's a brilliant description. Moods are changing all the time. But yes, it's a different, it's different pairs of shoes. So when I am designing, I have this in my mind. Sometimes I look at my work, when I'm designing, I'm thinking, ah okay this is christian the macho side of me this is the stylist this is another shoe this is the friend of women and this is sometimes the woman who speak there and it's different characters and i know that it doesn't shatter in my brain but they're almost literally a different part of my brain you have different characters so sometimes I look at one design that I did and I think okay if I am a guy and the girl who is wearing that is going out with me I may say darling do you mind to change the shoes something doesn't work for me I understand that kind of macho point of view and the stylist would say no own it it's you it's your decision or whatever i understand also the designer fight but sometimes it's not the same character i respect every character i'm trying to respect every character in myself as i try always very consciously to respect people in general god that's so interesting like having different characters it is like a play you know who gets the upper hand or and why why do they decide when does the macho win and when does the vulnerable person win and so interesting do is there something that you remember wearing to be consciously attractive to somebody?

28:13For the longest time, the idea of sexy was very alien to me and I never was interested into the world of sexy. And it looks strange because suddenly a big part of my world is considered sexy, if not ultra sexy, if not over sexy, if not exaggeratedly sexy, if not violently sexy, if not vulgarly sexy, if not anything, but still sexy. A big part of my life, I was very alien to sexy. I had no clue. And if I was dressing up, I was always to try to look pleasant. sexy was that a word that I was using and actually as a teenager in my 20s too I had a kind of aberration of sexy I was scared by sexy I never had any sexual problem I had sex all my life with different people so it's that about having problem with sex but the idea of sexy or being obsessed by sexy or wanting to look sexy never occurred to me ever ever ever and before you established your brand you worked for Roger Vivier and I always remember you telling me this story about how you asked him a question it was something to do with someone's age and he'd replied oh you know our age our age yes but you were a teenager and he was 80 what did you learn from him?

29:56I was 24, he was 80 years old. I said, you know, our age. I was like, but Roger, we have a little bit of a difference in age. And he looked very shocked, that I would say, that we had a little bit of a difference. And he was right, because we were pretty similar. Well, I guess, you know, 24 plus 80, it's 104, so we were in our 50s, both of us. We were meeting in our kind of early 50s. That's how we felt, at least. But I learned that, you know, So really, it's funny how much I remember because I have been having friends, multiple friends, older than me for a big part of my life. So it's interesting to see that when you're still a kid and you see older people, what is the most shocking is that as a child, you really see a border, a very fat border between teenagers, let's say young people.

30:55and old people start at 35 when you're like 14, 15, 16 or whatever. So it's interesting to see that. In fact, to me, it was fascinating to see old people, meaning someone who was 35, jumping on bed and screaming and farting. I was like, this is for kids. I'm not going to be that old. I'm going to be that old. And then, of course, you realize that there is not so much change. So at one point you realize that you don't know when the change is arriving. You end up being a child trapped in a kind of slightly older skin. But as long as a child is there, it's great. And the child in some people has a hard time to disappear, which is a good thing.

31:50There's nothing wrong with keeping the child, your inner child yourself. but as a child I was very conscious that I was looking at adults thinking adults don't act like adults so what is it to be an adult because one day I will become an adult but I cannot be like that jumping on the bed and saying silly things and being very happy about all of it and breaking the bed and whatever and of course you know I could jump on that coach very easily if I was lying on the coach I always remember coming to stay with you in Portugal when you had a very small tiny little house and when Jimmy was about six or seven I was trying to find him and then I opened the door and it was pitch black in this tiny room and you and Jimmy were dancing like maniacs to Mika turned up top volume so and it just felt like oh he's fine he's safe that's the best thing that could be going on it was but you I think that dance is such an important thing and I'm so happy to see that now people children have really less problem if if that to say no problem to dance yes i totally agree um i know you've told this story before and to me many times but can you tell me about the red soul and how it happened how it started yeah well it started very simply it's because uh And I draw and I draw and I put colors on my drawings most of the time.

33:47Now I start to be a little bit lazy sometimes. I don't put colors. But most of the time I was putting colors. I still put colors. Anyway, and what is important for me is to have the first drawing, the primary drawings, to be the reflection of the real shoe needs to be as close as the first drawing. And when there is a small border between the reality and your fantasy as a sketch, it's a great satisfaction. Because, of course, a sketch is only a sketch, so you have to adapt it to a real life as a three-dimensional. But if you remain quite very close and faithful to your primary journey, it gives you such an excitement and such satisfaction.

34:40So anyway, I was sketching and then the shoes that I was sketching were inspired by the kind of serigraphy of Andy Warhol. So pop colors, etc. with block of colors. And then so one shoe was a reflection of one of the paintings of Andy Warhol, which is called Flowers. Yeah. But I never look at things. I have them in my mind and then I'm thinking of them and then do it my way. So I had this painting in mind and it was flowers. So I did the Mary Jane with a high heel, pointy last, and it had a big buckle and the buckle was a flower. And everything was full of colors and different colors. So when the shoe became a shoe, I looked at it, but I always have the sketch next to it.

35:31And for some reason, the sketch was better than the real shoe. The shoe fit, it was good. the flower looked good but when I was turning it somehow from the back there was a lot of black and there was no black in my designs no black the white no beige no brown no taupe no gray no kind of dark colors etc so anyway and so the person who had tried the shoot it was in Italy had finished to try all the shoes during the day. So she was painting her nails with a nail polish. So I thought, okay, what about if that shoe had no black, had a color instead of black, which eats the rest. So I grabbed her nail polish and after a little bit of a fight, because she had two nails, she went, ah!

36:26I grabbed the nail polish and I painted the sole red. So it was not to add a color, it was a bit to add a color, but also to have that black disappearing. And then suddenly I could find my drawing again. You know, the drawing became alive. But I thought, okay, that works. So it needs to be full of colors. But as I am a little bit basic, and it was around Christmas, I thought, okay, I should do the soul green because it's around Christmas. and then I put the first soul grid and I looked at it and I said doesn't work the way red was working no no no no no I have to start by red and then I ended up sticking to red because even if you don't like colors red is an element which exists on someone who is dressed in black the lips are going to be red the nails may be red so even if you don't supposedly wear colors you'll have a dilemma of red very often so I stuck to red and now I'm stuck with red happily stuck with red it's such a good story I get goosebumps every time I hear it because it's just it's so kind of it could have so easily not happened and it's a it's such an example of your genius I the way you decide on what you choose and you know from your earliest decisions what you talked about your mother and making these you just have this incredibly this unerring instinct and you you notice what works and I love that story and how it transpired it's just and you always see what's you know like grabbing the nail varnish in life you're very much that person that you see there's something missing and oh there it is this is what's needed and it's very it's very simple but so so inspired you know i i do sometimes think uh that i have without being conscious of it i have personal ingrained mantras like for instance you have the glass which is half empty of half full to me I always see the half full and I always see the good side of it of things in general and but again I think okay it's probably at the beginning of nature but then after it becomes a decision you at one point decide of things and so naturally I think I'm a very optimistic person but then I learned to understand that it was somehow a quality and when you understand that, kind of stick to it.

39:35And yes, out of dark things, I can always see an end of a tunnel. Out of dark things, I will always see the brightness somewhere. and probably helped me many, many times. Yeah. I suppose it's practice. I remember you telling me I always wake up happy. And as I always wake up in a bit of a gloom, I thought this is really something. And I thought about that quite a lot. And I do things to shift my mood purposefully because it's a real blessing to be able to have that, you know, be inclined towards that because it saves all this kind of climbing up from the abyss where someone like me often starts off.

40:33And then I suppose it's a bit like exercise. The more you are happy and know how to make yourself happy, the more you are happy. I'm really pleased that the Jane Goodall Collection with Brilliant Earth connects to my vision of how we can live in harmony with nature. Every choice we make ripples outward, and you can choose what sort of impact you make. I know that the things I've worked for all my life will carry on. Discover the Jane Goodall Collection exclusively at Brilliant Earth.

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42:44I think energies are important. As much as I don't believe in God, I really believe in energy and how much you are driving your energies and you are attracting energies. So if you are negative energy, everything is becoming negative or you receive the negativeness from all over. So if you are really more positive with positive energy, it works the same way. And I really think that it's, again, it's, I'm kind of serious about that. I've understood that it's a serious matter to decide to be happy. You are probably naturally happy, but then it's something that you have to cultivate because it's such a nice thing to feel happy.

43:38And also, for instance, I do remember being with Louise, that you know very well, my ex-boyfriend. We were in a car on the way to the airport, and he was screaming because we were missing the flight. At one point, he looks at me and he said, but you're so calm. Why? I said, first, you don't leave any room to be screaming. You scream for five people. But also it doesn't make any difference. If we miss the plane, we miss the plane. It's not by screaming and being hysterical that suddenly the Red Sea is going to open and the car is going to go all the way to the airport. So there's nothing we can do about it.

44:17So why being so miserable? And he looked at me if I was crazy. I said, well, we have no power over that. So why do you give yourself a headache? It's not going to change anything. But I think that once you realize that you have no power on things which are kind of negative, forget about it. To feel bad or to be hysterical about that doesn't make a difference. As long as you have empathy, which is a very different thing. I think that otherwise, to be fully forced, enraged about things doesn't help. Yeah, that's a waste. A shoe is where you can show something secret about yourself, especially if you're a bit introverted.