Bonus Giggly Hotline: burritos, zaddys, and gossip

0:00Okay, I'm literally sweating. I actually want to put this refresher like on my neck. Paige never sweats. So this is incredible. This is happening. Wait, that looks so good. We've been chugging our Dunkin' refreshers. I don't think you can overdose. I looked into it. I just love that you can customize it because you know, like we don't like to play by the rules. You love customizing. Oh my God, I go off. But I wasn't that like insane kid that would go the soda machine and put all of it in.

0:27Hannah Berner: And that's why your mom started watering down your drinks. Yeah, because I would like be bashing my head against the wall. So much energy. But yeah, kids who did that now are, someone check on them. Someone check on them. But I'm excited because now we're doing extra episodes and the girls have written in and called in and asked their advice questions. We love, love hearing from the gigglers because we forget that people listen. We just yap, yap, yap, yap, yap. And now we realize like, oh my God, there's so much more to the conversation. Thank you for coming to our news network. Let's have some call-ins.

0:57Grace, you can begin.

0:59Hannah Berner: And thank you to Duncan for keeping us not only hydrated, refreshed, but making these episodes possible. Hey, Hannah and Paige. My name's Jess. I'm 32 years old, and I'm currently going through a divorce. The divorce has been going on for about two years, and within that time, I've met myself a zaddy, and he's 46 years old. We've been dating a year and a half. But the problem is I haven't met any of his family. He comes from a Portuguese family. He's also going through a divorce. He tells me his mother hates me and doesn't want to meet me, won't accept that he's dating me. And I sometimes even wonder if that's true or maybe they just don't know about me at all.

1:44And I'm slightly getting the ick because he's 46 and allowing his mother to kind of tell him how to live his life. So I'm wondering if I should stick it out and continue on with the relationship or if after a year and a half it's too long to have not met the family, even his kids. Anyone in the family as a matter of fact. So any advice is greatly appreciated. Oh and also my ex-husband is dating a girl with my same exact name but she spells it with a k which basically tells you all you need to know about her thanks i'm obsessed with her

2:26Hannah Berner: she's like he literally can't get over me um wait now i'm thinking what the name is wait it's so chic to be like 32 and be like my ex-husband like i just it's so rich i love it like i love it i'm actually mad i didn't get married just to be like my ex-husband my ex-husband also it's like you already did the married thing no one's like when are you getting married you're like i've been married yeah when are you gonna get divorced she's like i love being single marriage was fine she's gotta scram yes i support zaddies like i love you girls especially because a lot of you are so socially aware and smart and mature i love you with an older man so this pains me to say at first i thought maybe you're not meeting the parents because it's a situation like des where both of his parents are dead which we love one could only hope one could only hope it's so peaceful the holidays no no fights i'm like maybe we should go to my parents i don't know um but his parents sound like they're alive yeah the fact that he could ever say even if his mom said i fucking hate her yeah don't ever ever add that poison to the relationship it's giving some type of manipulation and i don't know what he was getting at by even letting you in on that information i'm saying yeah i'm the one that will lie and be like no my mom really loves you and she'll be like if you don't break up with him tomorrow i'm gonna blow my brains out so we don't like him it sounds like you both needed a rebound and you both have great chemistry and it's fun but like i feel like the right guy wants to introduce you to his family pretty early it's also impossible to dislike someone you've never met.

4:08Hannah Berner: No, that's crazy. It's actually literally impossible. That's crazy. I think that's crazy. And I get that divorce is very nuanced. It's very unique. So maybe it was like, he was from a religious family. They didn't love that he got divorced. They didn't love that he was already dating. But it's too long now. A year and a half is too long. I do have to say though, one of my friends who got divorced, she started dating a guy and it was very early on and wanted to introduce him to the parents and her parents were like we're just recovered from the divorce like let's not but also was only a couple months in six months fine this is a year and a half yeah and I think this is a nice guy to your dating there's also so much pressure on the first meeting already like cut your losses he's not for you and if you break up with him and he's like I can't live without you and like somehow does this 180 okay maybe but I don't think I think he's giving you a lot of excuses yeah I just don't want you to be in any relationship where you feel like you're not enough because you are and also so true 46 years old and he's like let me ask my mom get a grip no no no no we're like we tell everyone to break up light him on fire we didn't even hear the story we're like break up question about getting gossipy how do you get your man to be better at retrieving gossip he has such great access to info but does not ask the questions is this even possible i love him because he's unbothered but i remain bothered i must know all things are possible if you just practice you have to train them like the olympics before they go to said event in which they could get gossip you have to structure it like a three year old you have to text them the questions you want them to ask so like and when did they break up and and is he seeing anyone new and you have to send that into them so they have something to look at they need notes yes also if you're going to a social situation it's like a game to them like yeah they love the drama of espn this is the drama of this dinner this girl said this about my friend once he knows about it he's in it's like reality tv where guys like i don't like reality tv and then they're like why did she say that to that girl and then they're like what happens next so you just gotta get them engaged i do have to say gossip is important for bonding it it's connective tissue tissue and you have to be in a room and look over to him and him know exactly what you're dealing with also like you know when you were little and before you would go somewhere your mom would be like now when we get there you say hi mr and mrs and whatever their last name is you look them in like they would give you pointers and you'd be like oh yeah i forgot that like okay you have to do that also with your boyfriend or husband before you go somewhere like okay now remember we don't like her and we like her and like they're fighting so if you have an opportunity get in there you know it's funny des is the one i think it's because he's a scorpio he has such good character awareness we're like we'll leave something and i'm like they were great and he's like really really and then so he's the one who gets me yeah but what men are good at too which sounds like your guy is good at is if i'm ruminating on something yeah i call you or my mom or a friend to just like rehash a situation yeah where he'll be like and we're done here yeah he'll be like and it's not that serious we're done i've heard enough move on let's get to another thing you're like but i have seven more scenarios i came up with let's just run those really quick sorry i have a hobby yeah like what do you want me to do with my time scroll tiktok i'm figuring shit out right now so it's really just a matter of training yeah a matter of training Practice makes perfect.

7:47Oh, I also was doing some recon with an Uber driver. And we were chatting and I was asking about the job. And he said all the time when couples get into the car or friends, they always just talk shit about whoever they were with. Yeah. Isn't that crazy?

8:05Hannah Berner: Humanity. It's crazy. Yeah. They talk shit about the couple. But it makes me want to be an Uber driver so bad. Like an undercover, yeah. It also made me think about therapists. Like, I know there's, like, serious, intense work. And you're a doctor a lot of the time. But. Sometimes. But you get to hear the tea. Yeah. But I guess that's how. Like, how as a therapist do you have the restraint to not be like, let me just say what they look like? Let me just hop on Instagram and see a picture of this man. How do you not start asking follow-up questions that don't have to do with, like, mental health?

8:42Hannah Berner: Because I feel like in my early earth 20s, there would have been so many therapists that would have seen a picture and been like okay let me rework this what are we doing i was gonna say they're like is he like hot like how would you describe him like how hot is he because it depends on the advice i'll give you no visuals are important yeah so anyway talking shit and also shout out caroline banowitz is one of my friends who is a hilarious comedian and she posted about love island about talking shit and she was like i'm totally fine with people talking shit but whatever happened to like cindy in the group chat why are we all posting online like hatred for like an episode of a character bring back journaling bring back gossiping one-on-one no bring back getting a coffee literally bring back can't wait to tell you this when i get home yes like we're in the comfort of our home bring back no paper trail like say it don't spray it

9:39Hannah Berner: say it don't spray it that was a callback from off camera but if you guys are here you'd get it literally say it don't spray it like i don't okay what's next oh one more thing if you're dating someone you will run out of stories you have to get new gossip yeah because like you only last like two months with your classics

10:06Hannah Berner: you know you can tell when they run out of the classics and sometimes you're like wow we've been hating on this person for two hours now like got anyone else sometimes i get sick of myself i'm like okay how much can we go on i was recently talking about someone and my friend was like they're the kind of person that's really fun the beginning and then they start to run out of stories and you're kind of like we get the shtick yeah so anyway you gotta get creative out there did you know that this one has B vitamins in it? Wait, no. That's why I've been answering the questions like so quickly. Because you're so much smarter.

10:36I'm so much smarter. I'm feeling just like energized and refreshed. So just get on my level.

10:46Hannah Berner: And keep sending us your summer stories at gigglysummer.com. We love reading them and they've honestly been making us giggle. Giggle. Keep sending and if we pick yours you can win our free Dunkin' goodies. We love this like merch collab we did with them. Hi Paige. Hi Hannah. Let me tell you a quick story about a summertime day, early 20s, college days. So here I was, um, we lived in this apartment complex, me and like six of my girlfriends, uh, three of us lived in one apartment, three of us lived in the other, right next door to each other. We're at the pool like most of the day. We get this idea.

11:20We're like let's get tattoos great idea we're like don't really know what to do we decided uh that just to get like shapes that we liked like clip art shapes perfect I get a star we're driving back to our apartment in my Dodge Neon I wasn't driving at the time someone else had the privilege of driving the Dodge Neon uh and so we're driving back and we're like on this main drag in our hometown anyway um we're like we see this car of boys and we're like kind of flirting with them like going back and forth and we're like you know at a stoplight we're like hey like whatever um and then you know we're going back and forth and at each stoplight so like every stoplight it was like a red light and we're like oh my gosh this is crazy like every single stoplight so at the last stoplight before we're about to turn we're like okay should we like exchange numbers with them or something should we so we like stop and we're like hey and like everybody rolls down their windows and we're like do you want to like exchange numbers or whatever they throw a full-on freaking chipotle burrito into our windows like and it exploded i kid you not this thing explodes in the car so we have like freaking cilantro lime rice like all up in our hair like sour cream fresco salsa corn salsa everywhere you cannot imagine the mess this made anyway uh worst day ever summer memories love them college bye i literally need a burrito now well i was gonna say how dare you disrespect the burrito in that fashion like it's it's so my while simultaneously committing a felony also i would have ate it i would have been like oh um what's the salt also burritos are like four pounds have you finished you're like yeah put an extra God forbid they got it double wrapped.

13:14I mean, that's a literal bread. If you got extra ground beef, I mean, you're done for. What's it called when you get like a fancy thing that's taken apart that they call in a fancy restaurant? Deconstructed. It's a deconstructed burrito and you can eat it. Side note, I actually had a burrito yesterday and I was looking at it and I was like, I feel like I finally know how men feel when they see a girl with like a nice ass. because I was like, that shit. Like, it was like, it was like, I'm going to just squeeze it. Yeah, like, I was like, I just want to, I want to smell it. I want to touch it. And I was like, it looks.

13:50You're literally sick. I felt like a creep. I was like, get that burrito away from me. I'm acting a fool. What did the tattoo have to do with it?

13:58Hannah Berner: I was really waiting for something at the tattoo place to happen. And then she was like, and now we're in the car. I'm like, so what was that even part? She could have just been like, we're in the car. We're flirting with these guys. Like, the whole bag. Also the fact that six of them lived in one apartment complex, three in three. I love the gigglers because it's like, what was that detail? This is the thing. She loved giving details. Yeah. And she was consistent with them. Like, she didn't leave us guessing on anything. She needs to tutor the other girl's boyfriend in gossip. She's just like, these are the details we need.

14:27Yes, she needs to meet that boyfriend. Do a literal master class with him about how to give the gossip. Yeah. That was really good. I thought maybe something was going to happen where, like, the burrito hit the tattoo and it, like, got, like. what was the conversation in the boys car like oh my god you know it'd be so funny like what

14:45Hannah Berner: that is so funny also who's burrito there's definitely there was definitely like a jeremy in there being like well i was gonna eat that that was literally 20 dollars bro i literally told you i didn't have breakfast this morning i i love that one car the girls are like i think my husband could be in this car she's like so imagine telling my grandchildren that at a stop sign. I met my husband. He's like, wait, we both like cilantro. Do you know how rare that is? But then the guys are literally like, what if? I'm impressed that they got the burrito through the window. Yeah. But Chris, why would a guy do that?

15:24I think for the exact reason that you just said. It's just dumb idiot guys. Just dumb idiot. They're trying to show up for each other. That's the problem. When men are in a group, they want to fuck each other more than they want to fuck girls. Yeah, 100%.

15:36Hannah Berner: So they're like, I'd rather think Jeremy thinks I'm cool than that girl. You ever seen a group of guys around one really rich guy? It's one of the craziest things I've ever experienced. It's literally like piranhas. I'm like, why don't you guys just take your pants off? They're like, wait, I really like that tie. Where'd you get that tie? It's crazy. And then he's like telling bad jokes and they're all like, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. But once, no, this last week I saw like a group of teenage boys and they were like all these cute girls on the corner. Yeah. And I was like, go to the corner. There's all these girls there.

16:08But they were too busy. Which generation is that even? Gen alpha? Like maybe it was like 18-year-olds, which honestly, I was terrified. iPad kids are scary. I could take one of them. But like when they're in a crew coming in, they're swift. Going through puberty? No. Yeah, they're shifty. Yeah. They looked like they were going to bully me.

16:27Hannah Berner: Yeah. They were going to call me ma 'am. I cross the street. If I see a group of kids or a group of men. With a bike? I'm crossing the street. If they have a vehicle with them. Kids with a bike are not to be trusted. Hooligans. Hooligans going so fast. Little punks. I'll trip them. I'll trip them. And then they can't even see with like that hairstyle they have. Thank you for bringing this up. It's like a mop. What is the hairstyle that the tween teen boys are doing? It's a thing. Like they go in, they're like, let me get the sides. It doesn't look good. For some reason, our back in the day, guys had like a little flip in the front.

17:04Do you remember that? It was tasteful. It was graceful. Yes, it was classy.

17:08Hannah Berner: Then we went full jersey short, and I was still loving it. I was still loving it because it was clean cut. Clean cut. And now today, it's like, this is a mullet that you've refurbished. It's a backwards mullet. It's a backwards mullet. It's not making any sense. Like, what shape is your head? You're going to die. They're getting perms. No. They're getting perms in the front so that it gets, like, volumous so they don't just have, like, a Justin Bieber cut, which, by the way, again, still classy. It was still nice. Jesse McCartney still nice and refined. If I had a teenage son right now, I would gouge my eyes out.

17:40So my nephew, I've been asking him a lot of questions because he asked me questions all the time.

17:44Hannah Berner: I would just be that mom in Bridesmaids where she's like, I picked up a blanket and I cracked in a nap. Wait, we're going to be boy moms. No, I actually don't think I will be. I think I will be because Dez's whole family's boys and apparently genetically that's a thing. We need to talk to St. Anthony. And let's be honest. I don't have enough feminine energy to push a girl out. I don't think I can do it. Thanks to Duncan for giving us these episodes. They've been so fun. We love hearing all of your stories, so don't stop sharing them. Go to gigglysummer.com to keep submitting stories and gossip and a chance to win cute Giggly Duncan merch.

18:20We love it.