Giggling about an emergency press conference

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1:52you guys i have to have an i have to have an emergency press conference right now i can't believe this is happening i cannot no i believe i'm in shock i've been going through something and it's not funny and it's and it's not funny it hasn't been funny i haven't laughed about it page has been getting a kick out of my life which you know what if that's the one joy that we get out of this i'll just let it i'll let it go let it fly i'll let i'll let it go this is me now this is me this is the equivalent of like your friend mispronounces a word forever for the rest of your guys and it's not funny so okay so so start from the top start from the beginning yeah and one thing i do want to say about giggly squad is we'd love to say that we live and we learn but we don't we don't we don't learn from each other's mistakes we don't learn from our own mistakes and this is supposed to be a forum where we talk about our shared experiences so that other people can relate or not relate and we learn collectively and as the host of this show we haven't learned a god damn not a god damn thing now one thing about the gigglers is they know me better than anyone better than my own almost my own mother who betrayed me last week yeah also the hardest part about this was not telling the gigglers like every second of the it actually was driving me insane we had a call about it we had a literal call about it we had to cut like moments of the past two pods where i like started talking about it but we i'm like i can't hold it anymore two weeks ago i innocently went to get masseter disport for my tmj yeah you guys know me i don't do botox i however have gotten master botox twice you guys know that and I went to a new place was it a Groupon no but was it but I probably done more research if it was Groupon was it under the umbrella of Groupon some would say it had the same energy was it convenient and I didn't look up anything yes so I get there and I'm like I'd love to get some Botox and the lady was like what did you get last time and I was like whoa I'm not a woman in stem like I don't yeah I have no idea what happened my chart because I don't know and she was like we don't do charts here and I was like of course you don't know but she was like is it dysport is it zealman is it but I was like I literally have no idea I'm not a Botox girly I just I clench my teeth really bad and I wake up with headaches sometimes because you know I'm a woman of the arts and I yeah god forbid someone has a little anxiety around a little trauma and I some people have it in their hips I do too but it's also in my jaw and I did not know there were risks to this procedure I've never heard of a risk I didn't even know this could happen so she uses dysport and I she was kind of messing around a little too long back there like you know when they're like making it i guess and i remember something in my soul was like get out of here you had a gut feeling 34 years old the people pleaser on me she's still strong even though no one's really pleased with me she's still working hard and i remember thinking like what could go wrong she's just like what your masters are a little too weak whatever she puts it in we're great we're King.

5:47Thank you so much. Love you. Bye. I'm going to the U.S. Open golf a couple of days later. By the way, I'm great living life. Actually, one of the highest moments of my life, probably things are going well. Nice. My friendships are great. My family's healthy and great besides grandpa and everything is working. My career is doing well. And I was like, yeah, I'm going to have a spectacular summer we truly are and I wake up that morning and I try to smile and it it feels kind of tight and I thought I had like dry skin or something and I so I put lotion on like maybe I have dry skin yeah it's so weird so then I I do this interview and I'm like still feeling kind of weird and then I'm like oh my god is it possible that the poison that was injected in my face is now gonna ruin my face would this be the repercussions of my own actions in real time and it's a very humbling experience no so then two days go by i call page she's like what was your experience i was just in shock that you would just do this on a whim go to like a new place randomly on a wing.

7:10Does that shock you? Kind of because like I you want to know what I look at you as my shepherd like you're leading and so once you've gone astray I'm like. But I'm not leading you in any beauty type stuff. No but you do lead in like. Sanity yeah. Don't do that that's that's wrong i was arguably getting a um medical procedure done it was not cosmetic it was literally medical and i did not know this i literally did not know this could happen so i call page actually it was really funny do the smile let's like really take a look-see and a gander what we're dealing with this is as much as i could smile you guys and don't screenshot that page so how dare you i swear to god i swear to god post it and also you guys don't make me the face of botox mishaps i i love my natural face i love my natural movements and i remember telling the lady i was like by the way i do on camera stuff because i'm humble you know i'm not like by the way my podcast is you know very popular they don't care i said it's on camera i really need my face to move she's like yeah it's botox it just it dysport helps with the tension of your jaw so i call the lady who did it and she's like hey how you're doing and i was like i'm kind of freaking out the smile is kind of shorter than it should be it's a bit wonky it's not for me love it's not for me so she sweet sweet sweet girl first she was like it's gonna get better don't worry like it'll get better and let me just preface we would never shame the girls who did this to us also a girl's never done anything wrong it was our choice so this sweet girl it was her birthday

9:17but she in the beginning it actually wasn't this bad i just was like i feel like something's off and she was like yeah don't worry just like smile a lot or whatever i was like cool cool cool so then i told her just you know like two weeks do you think it'll be better because um i actually have a huge job job coming up in toronto that i'm super excited about and she was like why didn't you tell me that she was like two weeks it's gonna peak babe but also i was like sorry i didn't give you my resume like i don't know like you should always assume the person's face needs to work yeah is important in this in this equation yeah and she was like so it's a day I'm like, it's three weeks of a gig.

10:02So she starts freaking out. It's the last person you want freaking out. I'm basically like, what can I do? And she's like, try to smile a lot. So then I go to a girl in West Hampton and she's like, look, and I've looked all over the line. She's like, you have to wait it out, but I will try to put saline solution in your face. So then I go and get saline solution injected all in my face. Yeah. Did that help? I don't think so. Okay.

10:35Now, mind you, intermittently, I'm getting FaceTimes where Hannah is giving me different facts. At one point, she says, did you know that that's scientifically studied? If you can't smile, you will go into a depression. Okay. So, guys, this is the mental fatigue. at one point at one point she goes i went back to the podcast when this happened to you and i listened more closely i go okay good to know when i was going through something you were like yeah yeah your vein get over it so i go to pilates just trying to live a normal life and i was kind of in hiding in west hampton but i go to pilates and my pilates instructor is laughing at me but i'm like whatever so i'm about to start my pilates class and the girl next to me is like oh that was hard for me i just i just lost the muscle something just like fell off i go and i was and i was like hey and she's like i'm a giggler and i'm like nice to meet you and then i looked in the mirror and it looks like i was looking at her like you fucking freak like why would you talk to me so we're like about to start and i'm like by the way i just got weird uh master botox i can't smile i'm not being rude i swear and she's like no problem no problem after the show a bunch of after the show no problem you fucking bitch no i'm literally like nice to meet you thanks for listening to my podcast and this is what's insane is i'm low-key the smiliest person ever like i would get my liest i would get made fun of as a kid for like always giggling always smiling to the point that like i smile too much i've never been more aware i love a mercy smile a fake laugh you're a nervous smile i'm a nervous laugher yeah i smile and laugh for everything so then after the class a bunch of giglers came up to me and i'm trying to navigate it but in my head i can't process what they're saying because i'm thinking that they think that i'm being like not cool with a freak a freak yeah so then i tell all of them but now i'm like i'm i feel like lindsey lohan and me girls i'm like i i can't stop talking about it so like everyone i'm like by the way and then the blind instructor threw me in the sauna and i'm just like in the sauna just like alone with my thoughts googling it and people are like this happened to me and i couldn't smile for six months and i was in the darkest place

13:22it's really it is it's very humbling i try not to look at the comments really ever because i don't like when comments like affect our creativity but um right i was like let me just check the giggly youtube to see if people are on to me yeah and there was one person that was like literally no shade no tea love hannah something's going on someone responded and was like no shade no tea don't speak about women's bodies she's probably going through something it could be anxiety like she's going through really hard times like you just froze your face in anxiety like you're so nervous you can't move but someone was so sweet they were like please you don't know what hannah's going through or why and i said period and that's valid there was more things like guys this is fucking weird and then i'm i'm a talker like when something's worrisome to me or i'm stressed about something i need to talk about it so i'm i feel like this is therapeutic for me because i've been i've been hiding because i've been trying to fix it and i also leave tonight for one of the bigger gigs of my life for three weeks in toronto hosting a tv show now are there a ton of comedians who don't smile yes a lot of male comedians some stern female comedians are there a lot of celebs who get too much botox and their face doesn't move yes i have to navigate the next three weeks the good news is i think after three weeks it'll loosen up a little bit i have a very high metabolism yes you do i do i'm and we know that you have short-term muscles what are they fast twitch muscles fast twitch muscles also there's levels to this because now you guys realize i went to see my mom because i was in a dark place and thank god for my family this weekend they literally wait till my dad hears about this Gary's gonna fucking kill me but low-key like I look so good mogging yeah I did point out at one point I was like your your occupation is comedian just throwing that out there so like smiling is a prerequisite and part of the gig unless you're you're sarcastic right and some would say I'm when I when I don't laugh my own jokes which you know is my favorite thing to do yeah I mean that's why I wake up in the morning literally the only thing I do um but it is getting better I think yeah do you think it's better as from the last pod we did so the other night I think I worded it as it's different okay it's not as your your lip your top lip at one point was really going up yeah it was going really high yeah it's definitely widened which makes me think that these their muscles are kind of like chilling out a little bit because we want it to be wider sorry i'm so depressed right now i just i actually was like just breathe and this is the thing when stuff like this happens to you in your life it's not about what happens to you it's how you react to it and have i reacted to it great no have i been pushing people away because i can't stop talking about it and have i been up all night on reddit trying to find people who have experienced the same thing and actually not doing finding that many situations this is extremely rare what's happening to me i don't know why it happened to me but then i think big picture i don't have cancer i thought you were gonna say i don't have kids it's like okay that's a good turn butter is alive yep i still have my brain i i'm tan right now and it's this is temporary yes wait tell them what your mom said she was like are you okay and i'm like this is me smiling oh no she goes maybe don't maybe don't smile just don't smile but it also makes me realize how like i feel like if i was a man this wouldn't affect me as much i feel like men go i was even watching some like male basketball podcasts and like none of them smile they all just kind of like talk shit and like no one's they don't really laugh at each other that much and i'm like i just have to pretend i'm like a male podcaster they don't have as much criticism well women are always it's like smile smile be pleasant smile but i'm also interacting with like uber drivers and everyday life everyday life and I'm like buying something at the store and I'm like they think I'm a bitch bitch the good news is my speech is like improving me and Hannah were straight up role-playing last night because I was like okay give me a monologue and I won't look at you and let me see if it sounds different and you sounded great thank you when I enunciate and speak slower yes so anyway the reason I went to hang out with my parents this last weekend was for emotional support and thank god they were there for me they were amazing but that's why my mom was like maybe you come watch me do the national anthem and i was like i need to get out of the house like i have to stop ruminating about this and that's why when i was running and going through all that torture there was like other levels to it that i was upset about mind you i posted the photo of the 5k my mom tricked me into running which we'll post on the youtube or apple video if you get it everyone was mad about my shoes oh honey i didn't even see them everyone's mad about my shoes they were my cocoa golf tennis shoes that i wore because i thought we were walking to the race also yes i was holding two arizona iced teas and a banana because they were free who's mad about two arizona iced teas and a banana that sounds like anytime someone says arizona iced tea i'm in yeah yeah i'm yeah i'm coming yeah arizona iced tea i've never had a bad time never finished one do you know how fucking big some of them are massive they're huge like bazookas so um that's why i also look so miserable because i can't smile so it was like it was a lot but i do have to say even though i've made fun of my mom so much she's been my rock in all of this and lenore has been very very great about it like because you know when you're you don't want to stress other people out you know see when i was going through this i was like everyone should be at the same exact stress level i'm at because this is a code red people we have a serious problem on our hands this is emergency press conference code red i need the gigglers love and support more than ever right now you know when they say like like something bad happens to your life and like the world just keeps spinning and like people just keep going about their days that's how i felt i was like guys how are you waking up and going to work i can't move my mouth no well it's crazy also and that's have like a high thought but like how you can experience life so differently like my life right now is literally just me navigating my smile and it's all i care about that's all i think about when i talk to someone i look at their smile and you guys i it's like when you have a cold and you're like i would give anything to be able to breathe through my nostril right now yeah that's how i feel i'm like if i could smile again i i don't care but then i humbling and it puts life into perspective i truly think it was like a sign from god to both of us like don't do it i told you not to do it yeah you guys went and did it and and it's not for you i don't think it's for us because i think there is this larger plan that we are like amazing actresses and we must be able to move our face we must have expression we must also So I was afraid I put a hex on myself because the next one.

21:26Sometimes I feel like people like siphon my energy and they get the outcome that I actually deserve. This is like out of some karmic shit you did because, you know, I've been clean. OK, so now I'm getting blamed for your karma. OK, because I don't have enough of my own to deal with. No, we are fully connected right now. We're both on our periods like we are the same thing. Hannah and I also literally Hannah got her period last night I got mine this morning so this is insane guys I got for the first time ever I got my period on a red eye what does that mean nothing honestly guys to me this summer is all about finding my original sound and just owning it with my JBL headphones I suggest you do the same for me that's getting lost in a great audiobook, Hannah has convinced me to get the Stranger's audiobook while also having the actual book.

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26:33Wait, I went to my astrologer today. Did you talk to them? Yeah, I did. What they say about my smile. Oh, yeah, you're a fuck.

26:47He started it out saying, everyone goes into nine year cycles. The hardest years are year two and year seven. You are currently in your year seven. And I was like, perfect. But I feel like you've been having a good year. I feel like I have been too. And he was like, but I rather you be in your bad year now because it's like it's like coming it's almost over because next year is like the best most amazing year for you and I was like amazing and he was like your manifestation powers next year off the charts he recorded it and he sends it to you and I'll put his name in our newsletter it was transformational it was one of the best readings because I haven't had a reading with him in six years he goes the last time I talked to you was 2020 and I was like which is crazy because it feels like yesterday and everything he said in that reading like happened he was like how motivated were you like months after we talked and I was like my career completely changed yeah and I broke up with my boyfriend but he was like it was one of the most transformational things that you needed to go with go through to like get this motivation did you learn anything else new i learned that um what did i learn

28:11you actually 500 later i have to re-listen because you like black out when you're doing it because it's so much information here's the thing sometimes when you're going to like psychics or mediums or astrologers you have to like come up with your own questions and whether you're doing it for like 30 minutes or an hour this guy talked i'm not kidding this guy talked for one full hour he was like stop me at any time if you have questions he also like a medium or he's just reading your chart astrologer he's reading my chart astrologer i'm trying to think of like certain he just said like certain things about me not one thing about me nothing about partnerships nothing about business partnerships nothing about giggles nothing about smiles um the sport yeah he did say that like next year because it's my manifestation year it's just like everything i've ever wanted which is like giggly squad he did say things about like giggly squad this year i'm gonna have to offline about something i have to re-listen because i blacked out during it and sorry i put you on the spot i put you on the spot also it's hipaa like that was crazy of me also you know like that was a doctor that was insane yeah like we talked about my fertility and like that was insane he said that there was one unique thing in my chart because he was like yeah typically I can see when motherhood like where there's a gap in a chart that would mean like that's when you're starting to have kids he was like because motherhood is like such a strong part of your existence and like your chart you can start you have free range to start and stop whenever you want because once you start it's your whole life like it's your he was like it's actually the first time you ever feel fulfilled no i'm gonna wait that's the saddest thing i've ever heard he also said it's the first time i ever feel like my love is going to like something worthy of it and i'm like so scorpia you are so no i'm gonna cry you're gonna love your baby so much not as much as daphne but like you will right you will so anyway there's that he did say there were three different spots where i could get married and one was in 10 years and i was like clip goodbye bye bye i um i actually want to book him and he'll be like can you please stop asking me about how long this sport lasts he does like what's going on this year what's happening this like next three months and then like what's happening next year for you anyways I honestly feel like I have a huge monkey off my back just telling the gigglers I feel lighter than ever but I need everyone I've turned to religion I've turned fully to religion I need everyone to pray to Saint Anthony you want to know what it is to find my smile it's your karma from last pod when you said you were agnostic and God said oh really I think you'll be praying to me soon bitch no i'm fully religious i'm i'm mormon i believe in joseph white or whatever salamanders i believe in it all and i need i need the power of prayer i need the nuns the sister nuns hi sisters hi sister and you're so good at that sister please please pray are nuns allowed to get botox i'm sure they're i'm sure there's nothing in the bible against it but it seems like a material item that they wouldn't care about um i saw this video today and it was this mom asking her daughter a question and i want to see like what your initial answer is to it because i had my initial answer while i was watching it and she asked her if a guy came up to you and asked to ask you for help lifting something into his car what would you say a stranger yeah what's your initial thought hell no yeah nope when he says yeah hey can you help me lift this into my car well okay there's a lot of scenarios when in new york city if a man like even says like can i have the time or whatever i'm like no thank you i just say no thank you like i don't want to be kidnapped okay say let's say it's not new york city walking down the street because you're right that is like so this is like a neighborhood thing let's say you're in a parking lot i say so sorry i'm running late so sorry i'm running late so sorry i'm running late also just broke my hand okay that's so funny my hand's broken sorry my first i think the little girl said like you don't have arms that work oh period slay but my initial reaction was i just froze my eggs i can't lift anything that was the first thing i thought sorry i have a doctor's note actually and i can't sorry i'm i just got my period on a red eye um also and be so real with you i would i would help him because i'm like not cool like i would be like sure and then i'd be like we'd be like i'd be like is there a head in that bag and then i'd be like can't we just help with the sun giggly squad it's gonna be so crazy but you i think maybe you're helping because you didn't grow up in the suburbs where you didn't have to think no you grew up in new york city what am i saying you had way more dangers oh no dangers everywhere i if it i would try to get the vibe but also like i'll fight like i'd be like i'd love to i'd love to fight this man right now well because when i saw the video i was i had a uh memory of my mom used to do that to me all the time when I was younger like if we ever went yes if we ever went shopping just the two of us which like that was all the time but if we like left the mall and the sun was down and we were walking to our car before we would leave the mall she would get her keys out put them in between her finger and say okay you have to be alert I mean this started from like five years old you have to be alert when you're in a parking lot you can't like you have to i mean this was before phone so this definitely didn't like help your anxiety though but continue she's she's you know you take on the nervous system of your mother and let me tell you parking lots are not good for us she became fully wolverine kim wolverine she was if someone comes up to you you say absolutely not like she would grab my hand like with her other hand and she'd be like you just have to get to the car you open the door you don't talk to any like it was very much a routine there's a crazy story about my papa in brooklyn in like the 50s i guess and there's a story about he said he was walking down the subway and some guy was walking up and he didn't like how the guy was looking at him like he felt like the guy was gonna like rob him or something something so he broke his nose and i i was like papa i feel like there were steps like what if the guy actually like what if he got weird botox in his eye and that's like and he was like well i didn't want to find out i'm like is that the other day i'm in albany i'm going on a walk in a park my parents walk in a park i'm with my mom my brother's girlfriend were like walking all next to each other this guy there's also like buildings around this park that are like convention center or like some like random whatever this guy like is coming around the corner from one of the buildings but he's walking at me with a swift pace and I couldn't see his hand and his hand looked weird and I like was looking over my shoulder like every two seconds because I didn't he was like really coming close whatever passes me and like keeps going and I just like looked around and I was like guys did anyone else think he was coming to stab me also i love how you're like he was trying to stab me like not all you guys like don't be jealous what guy like i go that guy looked like he was coming up from behind me and was gonna stab me in the side eyes and ears stay alert the only person that came to my defense who was behind me was my brother who said i saw that guy i was watching him i said because he looked like he had a knife i do think that growing up in new york city there's so many crazy people running around like like just with knives all the time that you're just kind of like they're just wielding them you're just wielding knives at you know 7 a.m on a tuesday in times square and you're just kind of like just stay alert um and but i've gotten myself in a lot of stupid situations one more thing that i just remembered about my astrologist he said that your three signs also have attached like child teenager adult oh and this was like when people say like oh I have an old soul that like really does mean something like you could legit have an old soul all three of mine are adult and he was like you really don't like nonsense he would and he also said like there's no part of me that's like a baby so like I'm never a cry baby if there's any a time where I'm like feeling bad for myself or feel like a baby I snap out of it immediately because I'm like get over it I'm kind of obsessed with you being born and you're like I don't do that wah wah wah shit well he goes were you really mature as a child and I was like I literally was like I'm not playing outside that's for kids I have business to do I'm a business woman I literally created a fake a fake company sorry I don't do choice time I have meetings I was like I'm not playing house i have a board meeting in the living room get it together like what it was called teeter-totter company and i ran it like i that's so funny that's so interesting yeah that's so so interesting like because like some people will always identify as children yeah and i don't do you know what's weird and this isn't a brag because i really think like we me and you both need to cry more i haven't cried once during this experience i think more because i i deal with self-hate more than sadness so i've more just been angry at myself i've just been like you stupid stupid dumb bitch host of the podcast giggly squad deals with self-hate guess it's not all giggle well no one wants to admit it's a mental health pod because we don't market it that way we don't market it that way because that'll scare people because everyone no one wants to talk about their mental health we're out here doing it this episode of giggly squad is sponsored by haagen-dazs you know that feeling when you've been going non-stop and you finally just sit down and everything gets quiet for a second that's the energy haagen-dazs is giving and i'm so here for it.

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41:08and she's not going to let just anyone come into the house and smell her cat litter, especially not people that she doesn't know. And that's why we both agree on Arm & Hammer cat litter. I trust the odor experts at Arm & Hammer and it gives me peace of mind when guests come over. And truly, since I started using this litter, I have not thought about her litter box having any type of odor. And when I first got Daphne, it was my biggest fear that my apartment was just going to always have this cat odor. And also, I thought I was going to have a cat odor. I was like people are gonna know that I have a cat at home and it's gonna be because of the odor that's coming off of me But everyone should be a cat person.

41:44That's what I truly believe and even my mom has kind of converted into a cat person and she was honestly one of their number one haters And it's okay because she is allergic to them But she is definitely going to call out a cat odor if she smells it So for all my fellow cat parents be guest ready with arm and hammer hardball cat litter find it now at walmart or amazon

42:10on.

42:34Every style, every home.

42:39I did see something that upset me. We were talking about Javier Bardem. Yes. He's shooting a movie like making out with Kate Hudson all over New York City right now. I don't know how actors do it. Let's talk about it. Like if I was Penelope Cruz and I saw Kate Hudson, who we love, by the way, my other bestie, all over my husband. pretending to be in love i'm like you guys are all in fake relationships you're all cheaters you're all in open relationships and just being like oh i'm just pretending to make out with him it's not real i'm just pretending if i had a nickel and you know me i'm a trustworthy person i'm not i don't think everyone's cheating like i always believe people absolutely not yeah how would you deal with your man having a three weeks where he's just like in love with kate hudson making out kissing no no he goes babe this is my job no let's do role play i'm literally getting emotional and annoyed babe i've been i went to i went to france to study acting to get this role with this amazing director i and i need to yeah it happens to be kate kate and i are friends Kate and I are just friends.

44:00When I say I think all people are cheating, I don't really mean that. I think there are more professions that lead and lend itself to cheating. Like, okay, if you're a professional athlete, nine times out of ten, I kind of think you're cheating or you have cheated or whatever. If you're an A-list actor, yeah, I think that maybe you probably have also. So I think it has to be something that it's such a unique situation that has to be talked about way before you get married. I mean, the only thing is, is that they're both actors. So they both have this brain and have been in situations where they have to do this.

44:39So I don't think they see it. Here's the other thing. We've never been in a situation where we've been in a movie or a television show where we're making out with someone. I just like everything else I imagine that it becomes so mundane and analytical in terms of the shot and works and they're a bunch of little freaks see I don't I think in some situations yes but I think the majority of the time it is really work like if he came home every night being like oh fucking Kate she's so annoying I actually think that's a red flag oh I think if If he's coming home and complaining about someone, I actually don't like that.

45:21I'm playing chess. Checkers, you're playing chess. I'm like, wait, if she's like this much in your head that you like have feelings of dislike toward her, you should feel nothing. Oh, you should feel nothing, period. You should feel nothing for this person. Write that down, guys. Yeah. No, my man is not coming home from work and telling me some story about some woman that like is. I think we're both correct in this. in that yeah as always it's just if because there's been multiple movies that people fall in love like brad and angelina um also i did like one shoot with like a male model for tennis and we had to like be like smiling at each other and like there was like five minutes and i was like is that my husband that's the equivalent of like an airport crush yeah it's like because in the moment and it's gonna be over soon and i don't actually have to know this person because he is probably a loser freak but like right now he's hot and he's my husband in the airport but that's why you cheat because you're like i have a full family at home this guy seems fun also page you did all those like romantic covers for like novels did you ever have like i mean i know you're like 16 but like were there other teenage boys that you had to like take photos with you know what no I never did any modeling with boys that was in your contract Kim put that in the contract no yeah oh you know what there used to be this one store I don't even know if it's a store still it was called Bob's like department store Bob's not Bob's discount furniture no different because it sold clothes and I remember I had like a week-long shoot in New York and there was a boy my age i have no idea what his name is i could never even tell you what i looked like but of course i had a crush on him yeah of course we had to hold hands i had never held hands before i said yeah and you're mine now basically yeah and then i grew up and i said that in a scene um do you think penelope cruz is at home being like she's blonde kate's blonde so he's not I know for a fact that Penelope Cruz is actually acting right now and in like a romance of her own that she's acting like they're both doing the same thing.

47:39That's their job. You know, the character of the person that you're marrying, you know, deep down in your gut if they're going to cheat on you or not. I feel like. And I also feel like, you know, maybe because I'm just crazy intuition wise, you know, when something's off. I just also think people in Hollywood are inherently like super insecure because they have to have they have to be famous and have people think they're amazing. So like that doesn't bode well for like having a relationship where the person's constantly making out with other A-list actresses or actors. I love the word bode. Actually, I'm obsessed that I said I've never said that before in my life.

48:20No, like I'm sick. I love that. Like bode well. It's just like that could be the name of your son bode.

48:29bode wait you know what i want you to name your daughter and you know what it is but you won't do it what ryan oh that's i want a girl named ryan i know and so it goes so well for your family i like the name like stevie and scotty and like frankie for girls but i don't want them to have to be like my name's francine but call me frankie like i'm really obsessed with them not having to waste like those seconds of their life constantly you know what i think about a lot we're at the age now where like our friends are naming kids we're thinking about kids names like kids are around we're at we're at the age when i was younger i would always think like oh my god when it when it's time for me to name my kids am i not going to be able to pick this name because i know someone this name and like now i'm at the age and i'm like yeah i could never name a baby that because i cringe at just the like sound of it no it's bad because especially when you've like dated a bunch of guys they ruin every baby name for you yeah because then next thing you know you're like okay now it reminds me of like i used to yell at his grandma like now like i can't just enjoy the name there was a baby name that i thought was so cute and i like always loved this name and i don't know i was like dating someone and i like went through his phone or something and he was like texting a girl with this name and i was like i was like i think you ruined my baby name i remember being so pissed i was like no because i and then i was like no i'll forget about it i'll forget about it no i didn't forget i didn't forget also i date guys with names that i like like i don't date guys with weird ass names so like literally every good name i've fucking i fucked well what are we supposed to just be out here changing men's names well but then it's like what if i have a son and then that guy's like wow she's obsessed with me she named my son her son after me you're trying to think if i've ever dated someone with like a weird name oh well yeah do you know i dated someone one time named desmond yeah how have you never told me that i feel like i have i was in college wait did you date my husband no is this where you drop it on me he was irish i dated for like a summer like when i tell you it was like the girliest college summer fling ever it was like did he have an irish accent no but he had like blue eyes brown hair he would like come to the door and like ring the doorbell to pick me up for dinner oh my god it was like a real summer fling i think i was like 20 so cute anyway why is can every week like what's everyone all of a sudden i one day i woke up and everyone was just like in can you didn't come to can i'm like where where did every where what's everyone do surely not everyone needs to be there also it's not like next door these i'm like you're going across the world for a panel this is a lot this is a lot you could do virtual you know you could do a zoom i feel like i see something about can and i'm just like no no but also can they just had the film festival and now they're doing like an advertising festival everything's a festival there's a lot of festivals which are better than parades i will say i just want to end here because i have been doing some like thoughts and reflection and if there's one thing about me i like to acknowledge when i've changed my mind because i think it's important to let women know that it's okay to change your mind that's what growing and expanding and that's what life is all about and so i do think that there are certain situations where it is okay to say one thing and do the other and i think there are situations where it's okay to be hypocritical the more i think about it the more i really put some thought into it i actually kind of love that taylor swift's getting married at madison square garden i thought you're gonna say you're getting botox wait so it's official she's getting married no i mean i think so that's like what the chatter has been why not have some whimsy she's in the heart of new york city arguably the best city in the entire fucking world the energy just alone on that day will be so insane i feel like that's like good karma madison square garden she's performed there It was probably a major highlight of her career.

53:27The first time she ever sold out Madison Square Garden. It's iconic. People from all over the fucking world know what Madison Square Garden is. The security detail would be so top notch. Not a single paparazzi would be able to get a photo or even get close to getting into the building. I think that's probably a massive peace of mind for her. surely she has to think about people trying to like legit come and like what are they gonna do about the ice rink now that i don't know and then the other thing is she is a billionaire so she has the capacity to hire anything she wants do anything she could make it look like a literal completely different place in there she better um invite the whole next team i think she will that's the other thing people are like she's inviting a thousand people yeah i kind of feel like that might be like a lie i actually think it will be like a normal sized wedding i heard that there's a lot of people being invited like really it's gonna be like a crazy spectacle and i think good for her like lean in have fun do your thing like i'm exhausted like i like i'm exhausted i love how like halfway through she's like we should just elope this kind of fucking crazy yeah i mean just personally the older i get if i like think about like what my wedding could potentially be i do feel like it gets chiller and chiller oh for sure for sure you're like let's do a brunch like i really do just think about my outfits as long as i have enough things to change outfits then i'm like i don't really your wedding day is gonna be you doing a photo shoot for three fucking hours different backgrounds i do have some type of cape idea that like i'm like where am i making this work i have been ruminating on a cape for like years now no you're gonna have to do a reveal it's gonna be a whole thing and then when the party actually starts no one's gonna know where you are people are like hannah where's page i want this one certain drone shot yeah you're gonna get the shot and you're gonna get out of there and then you're gonna like guys go home this is weird then you're gonna find it you're gonna post it's gonna be iconic and you're like amazing we got the shot and your husband's like we didn't even say i do yeah he's like you skipped the whole ceremony babe she's like we're good we're good um okay so here's what we're doing for the weekend we're just like wishing hannah well we're like make we're just like we're sending good vibes positive energy i honestly like i cook right now just thinking like having the gigglers know what i'm going through makes me feel less alone because i felt really alone this last week besides my mom who betrayed me and you and my husband and my cat who butter never smiles and everyone i mean people talk shit about butter though but also one quick announcement too to make me feel better does does his hulu special drops oh yes drops today bring that up on friday go watch does a special if you feel weird watching just like a man get another man that you know in your life um it could be your dad it could be like probably yeah if you have a boyfriend if you don't have a boyfriend like good good job um a man you met once just like send him the link i don't know but um everyone watch it and message him and tell him your favorite jokes because we support one man in the arts in this family i dm'd des but i didn't know what to say so i just did the hands up emoji he probably loved it two scorpios trying to show affection yeah i was just like good job good job over there um i love you guys thank you for not for giggling thank you for taking the time thank you for taking the time at our emergency press conference and we'll keep you posted and things are going to get better life life can be hard sometimes bye

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