Giggling about anxiety, hockey, and tiaras

0:02Paige DeSorbo: What's up gigglers?

0:03Hannah Berner: Harriet, fix the Wi-Fi.

0:05Paige DeSorbo: Manifest that shit.

0:06Hannah Berner: We can't be managed.

0:09Paige DeSorbo: The day is fine.

0:11Hannah Berner: I mean the day just got away from me.

0:19Hannah Berner: Breaking news. Sorry, I, sorry. Us Weekly just did an article about me getting UTIs. Like what? No. No they didn't. I just commented it and said guys what the fuck as if I just like announced I have a chronic illness debilitating health issue like what the fuck like I can't like why someone commented and goes obviously she's having a lot

0:48Paige DeSorbo: of sex I feel like I need a comment and be like no literally I wrote okay it looks like I died in a car accident also then people say tmi it's like that was on our private podcast that was

1:03Hannah Berner: private for my closest 200 000 friends like please stop that was in our private diary that we post sometimes people pick things up i'm like that's so violating i wrote that in my diary

1:17Paige DeSorbo: okay back to our scheduled programming hello my gold medal gigglers it had to be said it had to be said you're all the way in california right now i'm all the way

1:30Hannah Berner: in california right now and let me just say one thing and this might be a controversy this might be controversial but like you know and like you have to like do a fun fact about you or like you're out on a date or like you see and it's like people are like i love traveling in theory totally like I love traveling but actually I hate it like I get on one flight and I get off the flight and I'm like and I'm constipated my stomach exploded my head hurts I need to go lay in a bed like like if you go on vacation with me and you have plans for the day that we land I'm not your friend like I'm in LA I don't technically have to be in LA till Wednesday day but I'm like no I need two days to like get it together I need to like I need to acclimate I need like so actually I hate traveling well travel is annoying because when you finally get to your

2:26Paige DeSorbo: place you're trying to go you haven't actually done anything so you feel like a lazy piece of shit because you've just been sitting on planes but emotionally traveling is difficult I mean you guys occasionally i have to run in heels but my traveling faux pas was i was on american airlines lost scared yeah you know i'm a delta girl and i was in c d 3d oh no i'll just say d and i assume d was by the window because i'm a woman in stem and delta it is sit down i digress also like this is just alphabetical the alphabet was made a long time ago yeah like i don't question the alphabet yeah i'm not changing the alphabet wait do you know that they actually did change

3:14Hannah Berner: the alphabet song in school why i don't know like if you walk into any middle school right now and they're learning the alphabet it is not at the same cadence in which we learned the alphabet but that shit was my jam a b c d e m d do you remember actually like in like third grade when they would like make up songs to like learn multiplication i feel like that was something that was helping you during a difficult time oh okay i ate and i ate and i got i ate and i ate and i got sick on the floor because eight times eight is 64 like that's i'm ringing a bell got it

3:55Paige DeSorbo: okay never mind no page needed a little cute song to remember her math which tracks no i literally no but i'm sitting my ass in d and a very nice lady is like sorry you're in my seat now one thing about me is i never assume i'm right never because then it would be a rough life at the end of the day i'm probably wrong yeah so i'm like oh i must be in the wrong row look up it goes a c d f so then i stop and i say i'm sorry but actually this is the system is wrong there's a there's a bigger if i had a nickel if i had a goddamn nickel this i'm just a girl who's been taken advantage of by whatever this letter riddle is so she's and she's like you can stay there but look i know that people when they want a window they want a window i said ma 'am oh yeah no you deserve the window i have to pee anyways i'm going in the aisle it's all good so then i'm doing my thing and at the end of the flight she goes like hey just want to you know my sister is a big giggler and i and i started laughing and i was like did you tell her i took your seat and she goes yeah and the giggler said hannah's really bad at admin and she's a delta girl so

5:13Hannah Berner: that tracks and she actually doesn't know where she is so she's like how did she know that about you and i was like does she it's common knowledge we're all just out here everyone knows i have a

5:26Paige DeSorbo: new obsession which is you know when i'm on the road i need to watch something and i hyper fixate on things i realize i have a problem like i'll hyper fixate on meals i have a fix you want to

5:38Hannah Berner: know what you you are correct in yourself where you say like you could never do drugs you'd get

5:44Paige DeSorbo: like obsessed with like if i smoked one cigarette by next week i'd be like welcome to giggly squad

5:52Hannah Berner: so you'd be that tiktok like my dad what's that tiktok where it's like we moved to the worked at the palm or like casino something again whatever i keep going i have no brain so you know you just got off a plane i don't know how you're functioning

6:09Paige DeSorbo: so i look it's a little embarrassing because i'm very late to the game it's not that i haven't seen it before i just haven't been like locked in i'm addicted to rupaul's drag race really

6:24Hannah Berner: page wait where are you even watching it what like on amazon you know what happened i was in a casino in oklahoma and that'll happen to you and i said you know how come no one ever talks

6:36Paige DeSorbo: about casinos then in oklahoma well how come ever no one ever talks about how oklahoma has this like ozempic little like end to it that no one lives on but they just fought for it they were like that's our land do you know like the end of oklahoma no wait this got too geograble i know the end of oklahoma sorry back in the day i worked for a company that you had to know the state's shapes and it was i wish i didn't but um i digress i just put on tv and mtv had rupaul's drag race playing and there was something so nostalgic about turning on mtv because i remember feeling naughty when i was little like watching mtv i'd be like i'm such a teenager yeah and i start watching it i'm in i'm immediately invested because this is the thing about rupaul's drag race it's project runway combined with they're doing their own fucking glam america's but america's next model where they do their own stuff plus it's a comedy show they're doing routines they're doing gags so this is and they're so mean to each other because they're men so they get over it really quick so they'll just say the most fucked up shit and then they're fine um and then there's so much heart to it because they're always just like learn to love yourself which everyone can learn from and I am locked in on season 12 right now I've watched like eight episodes in the last two days it's still going on though right yeah because there's a current season I think it's

8:07Hannah Berner: like one of the longest running shows I feel like it's been on for like 20 years you would love it I know I can't believe I've never watched like a full season I've watched like random episodes before but I've never like sat down and watched a season from start to finish they are so funny and

8:22Paige DeSorbo: i think i didn't fully realize how like the pop culture starts there like the words they're saying in 2020 is what you see like the gen z saying in 2023 like they invented culture like they are so

8:37Hannah Berner: fucking funny like slay yeah yeah they came up with that there's a lot of words that they came

8:43Paige DeSorbo: up with and also do you know high fashion designers watch rupaul's drag race for inspiration because they're just so creative but like they don't even talk about it they're just like okay make your own outfit and do glam and it's like a two minute edit I'm just blown away by it it's

9:03Hannah Berner: funny that you brought up MTV because I saw a girl make this video and she was she was like I'm married I'm in my 30s and I'm so petrified to have a child and she was like and I think it's because when I was at like a very prime age I was turning on MTV and I was watching 16 and Pregnant and that was truly our version of like scared straight yes like I still in my heart of hearts I'm like I can't get pregnant I'm on the cheerleading team like how can I have a baby and still be the flyer the men

9:38Paige DeSorbo: were so horrible they'd be like I don't want a baby I don't want to be here I'm not showing up

9:43Hannah Berner: to the date like the worst it was such unhinged television that at 12 i'm like locked in i'm like something's going on with farrah and her mom can't figure it out just to only realize that like years and years later like i will still think about these people maybe they have to make one

10:00Paige DeSorbo: for fucking smoking so the kids these days stop smoking it's very upsetting to me if i see another it girl with a cigarette i'll lose my mind wait i'm very upset about it are you because i feel

10:12Hannah Berner: like I keep seeing it too and I'm like this feels very like look I'm no angel I love a drunk cig I I prefer a drunk cig in Europe because I feel like that doesn't count like if you smoke cigarettes in Europe it's like you're on vacation yeah I couldn't tell you genuinely I can't tell you the last time I had a drunk cigarette in the United States because I'm like so grossed out by them but it is so interesting that now they're in like campaigns and like in girls dumps this generation

10:50Paige DeSorbo: is obsessed with aesthetic and they're obsessed with trends yeah so like one cool girl posts her with a cigarette then all these girls are gonna do it i don't know it's not it's not worth it and i don't know why what they're trying to say like i'm bad like i don't know i never understood that

11:05Hannah Berner: like especially because I would credit Gen Z with like not over consuming alcohol and like I feel

11:12Paige DeSorbo: like they're high they're they're in a fucking smoke chain or whatever they call it no I would

11:20Hannah Berner: I actually think Gen Z is almost better with substances than millennials because like like when I was in my 20 when I was 23 to 26 like I was blacked out every single weekend like I didn't have a skincare routine you know like I didn't know like I didn't do that stuff so I think there are good things about Gen Z but the smoking thing is it is interesting yeah wait yeah so obviously like we talked about America's Next Top Model and then like I literally couldn't stop thinking about it and I'm just like I see all these clips on TikTok and then the other day I'm watching Lincoln Lawyer which is like my new obsession I actually just finished it

12:01Paige DeSorbo: on netflix we have such different taste in tv i saw lincoln lawyer i was like boring

12:08Hannah Berner: obsessed love love the main character i'm like no i haven't clicked on it you know what it is i love a strong man in a suit like and i'm you know i'm sorry if that sounds misogynistic like i feel not feminist saying i love a strong man in a suit yeah a

12:23Paige DeSorbo: strong man in a suit gives me like fucking agita i don't like that at all so i'm watching it and

12:28Hannah Berner: there's like one of the characters she's like the prosecutor and I'm staring at her and I'm like I know this woman like how do I know this woman and now my new thing is rather than like when I don't know something and just like immediately looking it up on Google I try and use my brain I'm like

12:45Paige DeSorbo: no I know it let me find it in there don't try to be a hero don't try to be a hero sit and think

12:51Hannah Berner: and see if I can figure it out I'm literally sitting on the couch now my eyes are closed I'm like let me just hear her voice and see if i can place her you started channeling spirits i'm like i know this person how do i know this person all of a sudden it clicks she was on america's next top model her name was yaya i end up looking her up on ins or on google she has a because i was like i've seen her in other tv shows like i know her as an actress like in my head i was like she's an actress but what are the other things i've watched her in then it clicks to me she's on America's Next Top Model she was not in the documentary but she's a perfect example her and Eva of someone who like did cross over and make the pivot there's also America's Next Top Model

13:35Paige DeSorbo: an actress that played in Crazy Stupid Love she played the babysitter in Crazy Stupid Love

13:42Hannah Berner: she was on America's Next Top Model oh I didn't know that and so then I'm thinking and then like I'm obviously like I'm watching more clips of America's Next Top Model and like girls like talking about it on tiktok and stuff and one of the things that i think is different than other reality shows where there's judges the judges were on a reality show with each other like there are so many clips of people saying like some of the most racist things you've ever heard in your life and tyra like turning her head and being like what we're like typically i feel like when you watch a tv show and like even like us like if we've ever like been on another tv show where we've done like even going on like another podcast there is a sense of like we're both on the same page because we're performing for the viewer where that show the judges were just like saying anything like no wonder tyra like freaked out at some points like some people were saying unhinged things and it's like it's her show so i feel like people are talking about that enough that the judges were trying to make things even more like controversial which you don't like if you watch project runway like the judges aren't like fighting with each other for real like they're on the same page they're the judges american idol they would fight like fake fight but like not like offensive i feel like that was simon cowell's character yeah like he was the asshole like there's a

15:18Paige DeSorbo: character for each person speaking of assholes I'm watching the Gordon Ramsay documentary on Netflix which I do have to say I'm a huge Gordon Ramsay fan I don't support any of the verbal abuse that he does but I overall like a grumpy old man um and he I don't know why I just can't look away like Kitchen Nightmares was my favorite thing and he does employ a ton of people and help a lot of small businesses but I digress very boring documentary it's basically it's like one he's just promoting like a new restaurant he's trying to open it's kind of like a little victoria beckham-esque where they're just like pushing um one of the things they're promoting except victoria beckham was more interesting no but her documentary was promoting whoa

16:02Hannah Berner: you said it yourself you said it right draw the line okay nicola don't come on to this podcast and they're gonna talk about victoria beckham like that you just call me nicola who's that nicola is the sister the daughter-in-law oh keep up

16:23Paige DeSorbo: um but that's what ultimately why i think i love rupaul's drag race so much is that it's not entertaining because people are mean even though people are mean on it it's funny it's comedy everyone's laughing at themselves and at the end of the day it's about love and acceptance and loving your neighbor and loving yourself so anyway with that said um not happy

16:44Hannah Berner: with men's hockey tell because i'm like sure yeah for sure i hate them too basically they win

16:54Paige DeSorbo: the president calls them well actually the fbi head of fbi is drunk with them on speakerphone um he had better things to do yeah he's partying with the men's hockey team in italy in italy in the locker room they're all drunk i think there's a lot of problems going on here in the americas And they're not in the champagne in the locker room in Milan. I'll tell you that right now. Seeing like all the men celebrating and then a man be like, let me show you. I know the president and then get the president on the phone and the president being like, I'm going to fly you guys everywhere. I'm going to treat you great.

17:30Paige DeSorbo: I'm going to fly you here with everyone. And then he's like, and I'm going to have to invite the women's team or I'll probably get impeached. And I'm not even mad. Like, yeah, the guys, the guys laughed. um some of them were probably assholes some might have just been nervous and it was like a subtle jab yeah it hurts so much because that's what we actually deal with every day it's not like a big aggressive it's the subtle things that people say the women's hockey team by the way they've been more consistent than the men's hockey team been winning a medalist i did the math since 1998 and these women get paid 30 to 50k now they're at 80k but they had to have multiple jobs they had to raise their children they had no resources they had like no assistance they're on their fucking period they're fighting the patriarchy and they're still succeeding wait is the men sorry for like yeah i'm not like a big hockey fan either but someone did a video i think it was like caleb

18:31Hannah Berner: harren where he was like i wish they had like a talk show and it had one person that knew nothing about sports i could ask the question which i get that's so smart question the guys that are on the men's olympic hockey team for the united states of america are they all on professional teams

18:48Paige DeSorbo: year round they're they're the best americans in the nhl and the nhl is making millions of dollars

18:55Hannah Berner: millions of so their only job is hockey yes and they lose the women are in a small league and by

19:01Paige DeSorbo: the way not to like name drop but the captain of the usa women's team who's one of the greatest of all time hillary knight played at the university of wisconsin gobea jurs when i was there and the women's hockey team won every national championship when i was there and the men's team like didn't um so i just remember thinking these girls were like so badass because they're they're playing a sport while skating yeah it's like think of basketball but skating like it's crazy but the thing is they love the game so much they are not doing it for the money they're not they're not i don't know what they're doing it for because it's fucking hard but they're doing it for for some fucking respect and i'm glad the wmba is there women's tennis is there hockey's next because um who i

19:48Hannah Berner: just oh it makes oh i don't like it yeah it's just such a like it's boys club but that truly is every day like okay i guess like the girls yeah the girls can do it too like like a perfect this is not a perfect example but the only thing i can think of is like when i was younger and like i would be playing a game with like my older brother like my older cousins and there were any little like younger cousins we would always be like they don't count like sure you guys can like play but like it doesn't actually count in the real score which my little cousins would get so mad like we count like we're like okay like you don't but that is truly what it's like being an adult woman little cousins are people too yeah they're people too they're like in their 20s now so i consider them people i also don't want to be yeah like the butt of a joke by like the people making decisions about our rights and now we saw that period period no pun intended fucking period get period

20:52Paige DeSorbo: all over the ice next time no i hate everyone i'm just really proud of all the female olympians i mean alissa lu shout out to my girl did you not see alissa alissa lu no idea what you're

21:05Hannah Berner: talking about the girl again it's sports and i'm so proud of the girls but it's sports so like i'm probably not tuning in like okay so and i'm proud of them though alissa lu when she was 16 was a

21:17Paige DeSorbo: world champion and she was like doing everything in ice skating and she's doing everything she's supposed to do like she's eating how she's supposed to eat she's putting her hair the way they want her to their hair and she's just being psychotic she then decides fuck this i'm quitting world champion at 16 quitting yeah two years later she was on a ski trip with some friends and realized like this is actually kind of fun imagine if i had fun with ice skating like i'm doing now and she has this like epiphany where she's like if i i'm so talented if i approach it differently mentally and i see it as just an expression of my art that i'm grateful that i can express to the world i'll do it again and she calls her coach and she's like i want to come back and the coach is like no you hate this this isn't a good fit like you don't want to do this and she like begs him she comes back she wears what she wants she dyes her hair in these like halos they call them and the people there are like you can't have your hair like that and she's like go fuck yourself and she goes on and gives the most incredible performance why would there be a rule about hair like because they're fucking crazy because they want to control women yeah and how they look like you're how you look should not affect how you're rated in your performance but ice skating is still like ballet where it's like is she thin enough is she beautiful enough right so this girl says fuck you she but she's so confident and in love with herself that she's so beautiful and she skates like the most amazing skate and all the other girls she's like hugging and like there was just this like camaraderie of girlhood yeah incredible no seriously the top man the tops um ice skating man ilia had so much pressure on him there's a lot of reasons i don't know why that it happened but when he goes for his skate he fell three times and he didn't get a medal oh I actually saw that and he said watching Alyssa inspired him to treat the sport differently

23:21Hannah Berner: honestly I mean it goes like I still think about like Simone Biles when she did her documentary and she was and she called her mom and was like I'm not doing it and the mom was like and don't do it like that you really have to have that mentality with certain things like honestly like the fact that I'm doing the SAG awards on Sunday well actually sorry the actor awards like I've been so anxious because I'm like oh my god like it's on Netflix so many people are gonna be watching if I mess up even for a second like that's all people are gonna say like her mouth doesn't move or like she's stupid like I don't know they're just like running through my head and then today when I was on the plane I was like oh who cares like you've wanted to do this since you were literally six years old you're now getting to do it and you're gonna be scared the whole fucking time like you love your dress you're you flew out your hair and makeup I literally flew out my glam because I was like I don't want to use LA glam people because I need to be around people that I'm with every single day so that when I'm on the red carpet and I look over that like I see Taylor Fitzgerald specifically like I need to see her face yeah that actually just like really helped me that girl being like I'm just gonna have fun with it I mean obviously I'm gonna take a beta blocker I'm not a psycho you're like I'm also gonna be numb I'm also yeah I always say

24:47Paige DeSorbo: people don't remember what you say they remember how you made them feel so when you do the like public speaking as just all the girls advice with public speaking it's you actually being in the moment and not not judging yourself in the moment and trying to be in that flow state which is hard to get to but it ultimately is doing what you love like there's this is so stupid sports related but Djokovic is like the best tennis player of all time yeah and he was like I just love hitting the ball

25:15Hannah Berner: and that kind of like and that's the kind of men I like I'm like yeah speak your truth and dumb it

25:21Paige DeSorbo: down you know yeah but the truth is like when i played tennis i was thinking about winning i was thinking about all these things i wasn't thinking that i loved hitting the ball i actually didn't like hitting the ball because it represented like fear and bad things to me but now like podcasting going on stage it is what i love to do and yeah when you're when you love something like love overrides everything which leads me to my next point we love a segue people are mad at me for the way i pronounce anxiety anxiety apparently it's anxiety and i say anxiety anxiety anxiety

25:57Hannah Berner: say it again i have to close my eyes i have anxiety i don't hear it but i love you i know thank you i love you so much i think it's just new york that i say like you almost add like a g

26:09Paige DeSorbo: into it yeah and they were like i literally got messaged they're like hen i love everything about you except it's anxiety it's not anxiety and i said this would give me anxiety because now i'm going to overthink anxiety it gives me anxiety now we say a lot of things wrong

26:28Paige DeSorbo: also people were asking me i didn't want to tell them because i want to protect the gigglers from any harm yeah but they said is page doing your spray tan and i didn't want to have to tell them that you chose your career over my career here we are again i'm the i'll be the villain in your

26:48Hannah Berner: story because i'm trying to put food on the table for my cat for your cat when are you taping it

26:56Paige DeSorbo: i'm away yeah sorry saturday are you getting a spray tan oh my god i feel like i'm on rupaul's drag race i have to get a spray tan i have to get a dermaplane facial which you have to do before the spray tan because then it takes off the spray tan and the derma plane makes my makeup look better apparently apparently um also have to get my nails done because the blue's grown out um dyed my hair

27:18Hannah Berner: honestly i have to do a whole fucking being a woman is insane it's america's model why i had to fly into la if like days early i'm like well i have to get a facial then i have to get my spray tan then i need to i'm also getting like a massage the night before that's a calming massage first

27:35Paige DeSorbo: you have to get the muscle relaxer then you have to get the spa i have to get reiki like i have to see an energy healer like i have a lot to do i'm talking to my psychic tomorrow yeah you have to and sorry sorry that you're preparing sorry i'm preparing emotionally spiritually physically also no offense but male comedians will play msg wake up from a nap and their hair will be sticking up in the back from the nap and it'll be um that's maybe if the men's hockey team prioritized anything they'd win more often like it's not our fault don't take it out on us anyway the women's hockey team you're invited um to hang out like where are we going with them

28:21Hannah Berner: you can come to any gangly squad show you want we support you also i i stirred up a little controversy again um i posted my photos of me being sweaty and it got like it was really funny i saw this i was like what are these weird screenshots also you doing an ask me anything on the plane i'm like who is this person grace messaged me and was like hey how are you and i

28:46Paige DeSorbo: said great and she's like doesn't seem that way because you're doing an ask me anything on the complaints i was like i think someone's gotta check on anna no literally um what was i saying

28:57Hannah Berner: you just had a page moment isn't it like so jarring no i like you're like i'm speaking and then all of a sudden your brain like just go you're like i didn't i don't know like i literally

29:05Paige DeSorbo: what was i saying oh my controversy oh so you again my arch nemesis threads after bullying my grandma this is a problem with threads we don't know we're on threads but instagram like puts you

29:23Hannah Berner: on some girl did a whole video on threads about me the other day of like one of our podcast clips and was and i was like that's not even what that clip was about i'm like i i can't do thread i had

29:36Paige DeSorbo: a blocker because i was like i i don't my sweat photos go on threads and then i keep getting like weird notifications and i'm like if i could if i have any notifications on threads it's not good

29:48Hannah Berner: like it's never a good thing i don't even know how to get to notifications on threads keep it that

29:54Paige DeSorbo: way i will throw my phone into the subway so turns out people think because i said something like well i was like someone needs a new i said someone needs a new deodorant or something yeah all the comments thought i was bullying a girl so everyone's like how dare you make fun of this this woman and everyone is bullying hannah and that's the bullying myself of the internet bullying me for bullying myself as a result bullying me how dare you talk to a woman like that and then the gigglers are jumping in being like hey that's she's making this is her she's making fun of herself and people are like if you ever speak about another woman this way you're disgusting and vile and then people are like that's just hannah calling herself disgusting and viral which by the way it is not disgusting to sweat it means my body is detoxing and we know

30:49Hannah Berner: everyone wants a detox oh my god also like check any girl's comments in her instagram like it's people just being insane the internet is so scary that's why you have to find your niche

31:02Paige DeSorbo: yeah the internet is in like a weird low right now i do have to say um yeah like i find myself

31:10Hannah Berner: like get going off of tiktok and instagram because i'm like wait some people are like actually it's actually like it's scary it's why i started reading i'm like y 'all forced me to pick up a goddamn book that's when you know the country has gone awry page is at home reading trying to fill her time she's trying to get hobbies i fucking love scrolling wait someone

31:34Paige DeSorbo: wrote someone wrote getting people to defend you and trash you at the same time as a skill that needs to be studied and then someone goes i love that everyone rushed to defend you from yourself bullying i'm out i'm tapping out i don't yeah i think it's not for me anymore it's so crazy

31:53Hannah Berner: see also my marriage is um on the rocks on the rocks because i found out my husband doesn't like feta which i thought was a non-controversial cheese feta is like an feta you don't it's

32:08Paige DeSorbo: universal it's universal it's not too stinky it's not too bland it's just like i thought feta i didn't know there was an option not to like feta look i'm a rider die for italian food i i thought you were saying on my rider i get feta i should actually add it i think italian food is

32:23Hannah Berner: the best food of any cuisine of anything there are a few things that the greeks do that i'm like you nailed it with that one and feta is one of them right now baklava is another one of them but the feta i'll put it on i'll put it on my skin if i feel like i'm having a rough day

32:42Paige DeSorbo: texture like i don't mind a person who's like oh i don't like a gouda it's like they're uncouth

32:47Hannah Berner: but to not even a brie i'm like it's not for everyone but i love a brie and if you don't but it's okay because i know it's a certain palette totally i ordered an omelet with feta

32:58Paige DeSorbo: and tomatoes which is like my new thing it's i i highly recommend people to try it and he was like no it's okay i don't like feta and there's something about being in a marriage for what are we at four years when you learn something new four years in my god wait that seems crazy You've been married for four years. He's officially the longest guy I've ever been with. Which this is what's weird about getting married is sometimes you marry a guy and he's not the longest relationship you've been in up to that point. So anyway, that's what's going on currently in my relationship. So anyway, that's what's going on with you.

33:33Paige DeSorbo: You know what relationship people don't talk enough about? Rose Byrne and Bobby Carnevale. I don't know how to say his last name. Do you know who I'm talking about? I do. You love Bobby Wait

33:46Hannah Berner: Wait let me google him really quickly Because I do know who you're talking about

33:50Paige DeSorbo: They're together I don't think they're married Which is so fucking chic But I think they have kids together Aren't we Why don't people talk about them more I love them

34:01Hannah Berner: Do they have kids together He was married and divorced He is like hot

34:08Paige DeSorbo: I know I knew you'd love him

34:10Hannah Berner: And you want to know what makes me love him even more yeah he is with a funny woman takes a strong strong man to be with a funny woman it will actually it takes a strong man to be with a woman who is beautiful and funny and talented like rose burn well like the center of attention like okay perfect example is like you said her name and i'm like yeah i know exactly who it is you said his name and i was like i think i know but let me yeah google it really quickly and i feel like being with like a funny woman who's like quick-witted and like can add to the conversation if you're not a strong man that

34:46Paige DeSorbo: will make you so insecure well what i realized with funny women is like if we make you laugh like if we make a guy giggle it means they sometimes they feel like we tricked them because like comedy comes from like the unexpected so they feel like we like we outsmarted them and then suddenly they're giggling and they're like what happened like they lost control of the conversation um so when a guy yeah because men feel like if you're if you're commanding a room

35:14Hannah Berner: in terms of jokes two men and i hate when men say this word but like two men it comes off like you're the alpha and they can't have that like certain men can't have that like the loudest man

35:28Paige DeSorbo: in the room is normally has the smallest penis yeah and a lot of men think that like when they

35:34Hannah Berner: are going to get married they are going to be the alpha in their relationship and like you're going to be submissive and if they're and if you're in an opposite relation like people men can't handle

35:44Paige DeSorbo: it i love a quiet sturdy man also i don't the fuck up yeah talk when it's your part like talk

35:54Hannah Berner: when it's a topic that you know a lot about and if it's not funny jokes then shut your mouth

35:58Paige DeSorbo: in my ask me anything because i'm an ask me anything influencer now i honestly was on a fucking high i had a coffee and i was like you're like let me bang this out it was literally you

36:09Hannah Berner: it would be that was like your equivalent to being in finance you're like let me just snort

36:12Paige DeSorbo: this adderall and bang out all these questions how many did you actually read like four i had

36:17Hannah Berner: a quick through i know you though i know everything about you i wasn't learning anything new i did stop at the one where someone was like your favorite lip balm i was like oh she fucking loves the slip bomb like i knew i'm like i knew you saw that question you were like been waiting for

36:34Paige DeSorbo: someone to ask you were so sick of me but you love me so much it must be a crazy double so someone told me that on her first date with a guy she had a panic attack and he didn't know what to do or first vacation he had panic attack didn't want to do and she was like what should i do with him now look would i love to tell everyone to break up with their boyfriend all the time and Do we do that a lot? Yes. However, context matters.

37:00Hannah Berner: Okay, what were you saying? I don't know why that even reminded me of it.

37:03Paige DeSorbo: What was I saying? Who am I? Honestly, it's important. You love getting me all riled up about something, and right before I say it, you go, quick right turn. Because I know if I don't say it, I'll literally forget. I said, she was like, he didn't handle my panic attack well. Yeah. As girls with anxiety. I think sorry that was really that sounded like mean but I wasn't trying to be mean I'm just anyway I feel like sometimes men do not understand anxiety and like you can't get mad at someone for not understanding it because men truly understand anger is the only emotion and when it's anything else they get very like what's happening give him an opportunity to like understand your culture welcome to my world let me show you if you do have a panic attack though in front of a guy and He deals with it great.

37:53Paige DeSorbo: I think that's your husband.

37:54Hannah Berner: If a guy is truly into you, there is nothing that you can do that will turn them off. I think you should have a panic attack on the first date. And it's like, because it's like, if you can't handle me at my worst, then like you don't deserve me at my best. It's a very true. Marilyn Monroe.

38:13Paige DeSorbo: Did Marilyn Monroe actually say that one?

38:14Hannah Berner: I don't think so. Wait, did you see,

38:17Paige DeSorbo: speaking of icons, Audrey Hepburn's been cast. Lily Collins. Yep. which I feel like did you fucking tell your team to submit you like what the fuck happened

38:25Hannah Berner: well Lily Collins is a respected actress well her father's still Collins I could tell that Lily Collins was gunning for an Audrey Hepburn role way before Emily in Paris because her style I could tell by the way she was posting on Instagram that it was very Audrey Hepburn coded and she does look similar to her so I kind of felt in my gut I was like I know one day she's gonna be play her so i'm actually i'm i'm glad it's her because i feel like you're too tan i feel like i'm honestly too italian to play her i feel like you do watch a lot of like biopics where you're like okay that person looks nothing like the celebrity or like that's brad pitt like i can't like this is not the vibe where i feel like lily collins is the perfect

39:15Paige DeSorbo: cast for speaking of celebrity documentaries or no stories have you watched love story of course what are your thoughts because i feel like everyone's watching it right now i'm two

39:26Hannah Berner: episodes in usually i would have a lot of thoughts on a tv show about celebrities for whatever reason i feel i it's not that i feel icky watching it because i love it i'm like obsessed i'm all caught up I like watch it right when it comes out but I feel like the fact that she didn't like the spotlight so much I almost feel like bad like I'm almost like wait would she have hated this show yeah you know but I also think it's an incredible story of like he was JFK Jr. he was like one of the most famous people in the world their family was like the most famous in the world and um I can't think of the actress's name that plays Jackie Kennedy, but she had like some line in one of the episodes where it was like the public has like, what was the quote?

40:21Hannah Berner: The public has in one hand, they're like ready to praise you. And in the other hand, they're ready to like throw a stone at you. And it's just so true because I feel like that's how he felt. Like, I feel like people were all up in his shit all the time. yeah and i kind of like i feel i don't know i felt bad for them when he when he didn't pass the bar

40:45Paige DeSorbo: and the guy was like it doesn't matter that everyone thinks you're an idiot like how do you feel about yourself and it's so easy to say like don't care what other people think but when everyone's pointing at you being like you fucking idiot at some point you're going to be like because i'm an idiot and i i do think it was interesting casting like he was very he's like not really i think this is one of his first projects and he's just like a gorgeous man

41:09Hannah Berner: like two weeks before they started filming really because i think they're both very good actors i felt like she was way stronger yeah i think she's really good and people being like oh she doesn't like i just said like lily collins looks like audrey heppard people really look like carolyn beset see i find i think she does like i i think sarah pigeon's a star yeah i

41:34Paige DeSorbo: couldn't get my eyes off of her also i love calvin klein in the 90s the style of it all wait hold on but calvin klein is gay i guess he had a wife if i had a nickel no and this is what i'm talking about

41:53i'm like wait a minute wait a minute you knew though you knew there's no way you didn't know

42:02Paige DeSorbo: she got free calvin klein you would do it too you've done i have

42:14Paige DeSorbo: speaking of fashion this feels like made up because the fashion industry is like we just have to we're running out of animals print and they're like we're doing bambi we're doing deer chic now we're doing fawn print like they are they're gonna do squirrels next like sorry it's it's fawn february get into it get into it it's just such like a marketing ploy like yeah i do actually love it like it looks cute but like they're literally gonna be like and it's raccoon

42:44Hannah Berner: march i saw a raccoon the other day on the street literally trying to domesticate its own self oh they have thumbs no literally someone was like wait i feel like this raccoon shouldn't be like awake right now it's like 11 a.m in the morning i was that person i was like um i feel like that raccoon has rabies because i'm pretty sure they're nocturnal but anyway you're like that raccoon just called uber eats i don't think it's normal that raccoon just rang the doorbell he's like i want to come in wait what were we just talking about because i was gonna say something before you oh as someone who also loves like i love trying a trend i actually like the bambi like thing my thing is one item of clothing will go viral and then every influencer will have it and i'm like yeah are we how'd you get it so fast where did it what who even makes it what is that brand and here i'm an influencer like i should know but i'm like where'd you guys all get this jacket well yeah

43:48Paige DeSorbo: you'll see something you like and then you realize everyone's already worn it yeah and so then i'm

43:53Hannah Berner: like okay well let me just see where it is and then you go on it's like pre-order and it's like okay well i don't want the jacket in june or it's like trend will be over thousand dollars

44:03Paige DeSorbo: for something that's the internet is weird everyone's weird what do you think about hair tucking like people being like it's really cool to put a jacket and keep your hair tucked in like

44:15Hannah Berner: the mary kate nashley olsen tuck has is been trending for 10 years yeah and also you get

44:21Paige DeSorbo: like i'm really confused on why everyone's like oh my god the hair tuck because they'll make anything into an aesthetic leave bambi out of this well you know what also is trending the everyday tiara so girls just wearing tiaras like on a tuesday for no reason like in different kind like fashion week apparently it was like a thing which like i'm not gonna take away from women's joy i feel like it's something you would do

44:49Hannah Berner: yeah i actually you've done i'm actually waiting for this to come on trend and i didn't know that it was happening and now i need to go on amazon because that is so something i could get down with

45:00Paige DeSorbo: well did you see hailey bieber's most recent cover shoot where her hair was like purposely unbrushed and like knotted yeah you were like it's my time to show yes or i was like okay

45:13Hannah Berner: copyright infringement like okay so i'm a style icon actually i'm timeless also one of the funny things about like the carolyn beset like oh my god dress like carolyn beset oh yeah which like obviously yeah she has great style but her style isn't trendy i would say she's like the least trendy person ever like she truly was like the epitome of a fashion girl that worked at a brand but like her outfits had to be muted because it was about the other clothes yes but people on tiktok it's so like oh i can't believe girls are making like videos about carolyn beset style like they don't have any it's like you can't do anything as a woman you can't like it you can't dislike it you can't try and dress like it you can't like it's so crazy you can't win a gold metal no you can't do anything as a woman you truly cannot there will always be someone yelling at you and most of the time it is another woman which is like really upsetting to me

46:19Paige DeSorbo: girl on girl crime um i have a gripe to bring up okay actually i have a petition actually i have a bill that i need passed i have a bill let's stop putting hand soap next to hand lotion in public in in public bathrooms in hotel bathrooms how many times do you go to wash your hand and you click the hand lotion also who's using hand lotion in these airport bathrooms i'm gonna disagree with you on this because the moment i got a guest

46:57Hannah Berner: bathroom the minute i said oh this guest bathroom is going to be so fucking cool i've got soap i've got hand lotion i've got skincare i've got you come to my apartment you go in the guest bathroom you're never leaving you're not leaving you're stealing all the things i have in there nothing

47:17Paige DeSorbo: ruins my day more than realizing I'm washing my hands with lotion and then I not only wasted lotion but now I have like sperm kind of texture on my hands you know you and my mom are very

47:29Hannah Berner: similar like I gave my mom a bunch of products one day and she was like oh I'm like using this one product but it's like really drying me out and I'm like well how are you using it and she's like well I'm just like putting it on and then like it's drying me out and I'm like well maybe because that's a face wash and not a lotion mother and you're putting it on and then it's drying because it's a soap you're like kim that's hydrogen peroxide can you just put it in your eye i'm like well why don't you just like read the label so my thing to you is why don't you just

48:01Paige DeSorbo: read the goddamn label because they make it look too first of all i'm always in a rush i'm always rushing and they make it like put it in red blinking lights the aesthetic's always the same and their next at least put them i don't know put it somewhere else like where i can't reach it because i inevitably will always it's like when you take conditioner accidentally and you start trying to put it as shampoo do you never do that never never so this is a daily thing for me i was

48:28Hannah Berner: oh my god i never and because you want to know what in my shower one row is just shampoo the other row is just my conditioners then i have like so everything has a row everything has a home it's giving american psycho yeah no sometimes i think i could be i could have a little people could be right i could have something a little bit wrong with me in my brain go in your chart i don't and i saw you post your ask me anything that you have a little virgo in your chart and and i don't see that are you on the are you on the cusp because i don't see that for you my best friend in high school one of my best friends in high school she was a virgo and when I tell you her notebook I've never seen a notebook like this first of all her handwriting spectacular her highlighting her outlines she went on actually to be a teacher as she should

49:24Paige DeSorbo: so Virgos come in all shapes and forms tell me when it comes to my work not my personal life my work am I not on the ball true like responding to emails having things ready by deadlines

49:38Hannah Berner: that's where my that's actually very true you are very on top of your career they're also a little

49:45Paige DeSorbo: obsessive virgos like they they're detail oriented you know how like random things i'll be like i

49:49Hannah Berner: need to get this right yeah no you can like obsess i think if you like really went to a doctor you could be diagnosed a little bit with ocd no i fully have ocd and a n a n a c h a d h a d h d and you have a torn acl wait one more thing about carolyn yeah she had to do this character

50:12Paige DeSorbo: where there's literally like only five seconds of footage of carolyn beset ever talking on camera yeah like she had yeah so she had to just like read lots of books um so that is also the hard

50:24Hannah Berner: part i would assume her their families weren't like involved where it's like she couldn't ask

50:29Paige DeSorbo: like i know what was she like the accurate so the accuracy you have to take with a grain of salt for

50:34Hannah Berner: this and a lot of people are have like come out and been like okay their love story was actually

50:39Paige DeSorbo: like super toxic yeah yeah and i'm like oh you know stewart who was on the road with me told me there's a really good podcast to listen to about the kennedy men there's a podcast somewhere i'll put it in the newsletter about the Kennedy men and like there's there's lore there well it's from the show it really does seem like JFK Jr. didn't want to be in like politics like it doesn't seem

51:10Hannah Berner: like he wanted to be a lawyer it actually seems like he liked art and like he liked he wanted to film and tv yeah so that like that alone makes me sad for him like i couldn't imagine being born into a family and it's like like how like the royals do it like remember when prince harry

51:32Paige DeSorbo: left and everyone was like death to prince harry and it's like okay guys chill out he wants to just like pick strawberries with his wife also he had this sad moment where he not to like be a nepo baby um apologist but he was like by 26 my dad already like had been a war veteran like got his degrees had kids like all these things you were saying this about his dad yeah and he's like and i'm 28 and i have nothing and it's like he didn't ask to be put on that like have that kind of ex pressure pressure and like expectations so he feels like a fucking loser even though he's

52:14Hannah Berner: just living that's why i do have a little sympathy for brooklyn beckham like i do feel a little bit bad for him because i'm like i couldn't i wonder what it's like having two of the most famous people in england be your parents for two like very specific genres of things and then it's people are like and what do you do like i feel like there's so much pressure because it's not

52:37Paige DeSorbo: relatable people don't talk about it like how to raise your kids if you're famous like i don't know maybe there's like a book that like reese witherspoon is like passing around to her friends but like i feel like there's a google doc that reese is like hold on here's what you do reese witherspoon has a google doc she's sending to famous moms um on how to raise kids but it's like there's no like rule book that we know of of how to not raise kids who are fucked up and some of them just because if they're really successful nepo babies still doesn't mean they're not fucked

53:10Hannah Berner: up i do low-key sometimes feel really bad for certain nepo babies people are really mean to some more than others i kind of feel like if you were a if you're a nepo baby and no one's heard of you until like you literally do what your job is people are like more okay we're like yeah like people are so mean to hailey bieber but i feel like it's because they saw her in the press like

53:33Paige DeSorbo: grow up people also don't want to see you trying to get your dreams as an epobaby like they don't want to see you attempting um and they also don't want to see you say i don't have an advantage from being an epobaby which like they shouldn't say that stuff which made me think about like hate on addison ray all these people hate nepo babies but then you also hate people who come from tiktok so who's allowed to do well it's a lose-lose it's a lose-lose like if you so what's the right way to come up you have to wait for a powerful director to pick you randomly out

54:11Hannah Berner: of a hat you know what's funny is after we were talking about cardi b and how she was like on reality tv i literally got like served a tiktok clip of one of the like male djs on love and hip pop being like i'll never take cardi b seriously and then the edit was like her winning her first grammy no i'm crying it's also like i do think not to bring it back to like everyone hates women but i do think people are way harder on female nepo babies than male oh yeah like i can't even

54:44Paige DeSorbo: think of a boy nepo baby right now besides brooklyn beckham it's like i can't think of like

54:50Hannah Berner: Like one doesn't immediately pop into my head is what I'm saying.

54:54Paige DeSorbo: Yeah.

54:54Hannah Berner: Because people just like aren't it's maybe it's like not as fun being mean to men on the internet. I don't know. I find it enjoyable, but I don't. You're like, we should dabble in it. Maybe try it out. Like watching some things on the internet where you're like, you're letting him get away with that. That's crazy. Because if a girl did that, you would have had her canceled four days ago. She would have been done. the steak would have been on fire yeah well on that positive note and that's all we have for

55:26Paige DeSorbo: today we're gonna leave you with that just to think about um thank you guys so much for giggling with us and we'll talk to you later this week bye