Giggling about awards, aging, and big announcements

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1:40Hannah Berner: I mean, the day just got away from me. What's up, my glossy gigglers? Oh, I don't know. Okay. I don't know. I'm having fun. You look so gorgeous today, and I came in being like, it's Friday, I'm going to be in sweats, I'm doing like no makeup. I'm wearing a see-through poncho. I know. You sat down and I was like, oh, okay, Shaw. I was also 10 minutes late and I said, look, if you want me to look pretty, I will be 10 minutes late. If you want me to look ugly, I'll be early. Pick your poison. You know what I used for the first time? You know, that's, it's like this makeup. It's called Ella Roses.

2:16Hannah Berner: I used a little bit of their like blush and eyebrow gel. Obsessed. I was just like, it's a Friday morning. I'm not trying to do a lot. Too much. I know. I think less is more. Yeah. Especially with your cheekbones. And it was like rainy and cold. And I was like, gotta go. Should we get into it? Enough of the niceties. Should we just start with like our day? Our raw, real emotions. Oh, sorry. Coming to you live is your 2026 podcast of the year winners, which.

2:48So I was like, Paige, we're not going to win. And she was like, just like believe in ourselves. And I'm like, I don't believe in myself. I didn't just like buy a Ferragamo dress to not fucking win. They started announcing everyone who's nominated. And I kept just, they'd be like the daily. And I'd look at Paige and be like, we're not being on the daily. And she's just like, why are you being so negative? I'm like, because I don't want you to get upset when we lose. And then like have a little tantrum that I have to calm you down in the car. No, I like felt it in my gut.

3:17Hannah Berner: You know, I'm a witch. You are. So I felt it in my gut when we walked in there. I was like, oh, we won. And it's so giggly coded that the gigglers were like, didn't even know. They go, none of us voted. We don't even know what happened. They're like, none of my business. Didn't come across my desk. None of my business. But let's rewind to how we got to that moment. Let's. Because obviously it wasn't smooth and it wasn't easy. No. And I'm talking about that actual day, not the full journey. So we have a flight. we're going to austin for the day just for the day i knew it was going to be a problem when you texted me asking when you should leave and i was like that's you should never be i'm like looking for an adult in the room and i'm like i'll text hannah when should i when should we leave for the airport we leave very close we live we live very close to the airport also i fly six times a week our flight was at 7 20 we're boarding at 6 40 yes I leave at 5 30 I yes like I'm gonna leave at 550 I'm like okay something in my gut I woke up at 550 I'm facetiming her in the line I'm like it's not good here it's not good and I'm in the elevator so I'm like oh can't hear you I'm in the elevator hang up on her and you text me and you're like it's really bad which reminds me my mom who like has to be at the airport four hours early and i'm like you silly mom you don't have to be there so i'm like i'm glad that page is being like prepared one of us has to but like i live 10 minutes from the airport i'll see you soon right before 7 a.m right like there's nothing what could happen what could possibly happen so first of all we you know when you get to the place and like there's so many cars that you can't get out the uber and also i didn't have an uber driver that was like on my team like he was very relaxed yeah like it was like there were openings he wasn't taking it and I was like you're the first flight out you're fine so then I we're not even parked and I'm like sir I need to get out and he was like you can't get out here and I'm like yeah again like watch me so I got out I was like five stars thank you um get to the front now when I tell you the lines were out the door yeah I fly a lot instead of me just being like let's go in a line I'm like okay I'm gonna outsmart this I'm gonna strategize but I look down and I don't have my pre-check on which is like boarding pass that was like some some god shit like they were like actually mercury is in retrograde oh I know no I felt it so I decide okay I can wait in line to try to get them to put pre-check on it so I start with that also I went to the kiosk and the kiosk said go fuck yourself yeah you ever try a kiosk and they're like no has a kiosk ever worked for anyone yeah i get that tsa is having a moment they're having a problem i'm not even coming this is not tsa's fault this is the government's fault the people that work though for the airline that like some of the rudest some of the meanest people i've actually met and by the way when i'm at an airport it's fight or flight like i'm not thinking logically i'm so you're texting me and you're like i just got through are you okay and i'm like i'm locked in i'm figuring this out so The kiosk doesn't work.

6:26I'm like, I'm going to wait, get pre-check. And then the pre-check line is long, though. But I'm like, this is my only way.

6:31Hannah Berner: Right. So I'm waiting in line. It's not moving. So I'm like, fuck. OK. Then I go to the pre-check line. And I ask the guy, like, can I go here? And he goes, no, you don't have pre-check. And I'm like, but I do. And he's like, shut up, bitch. And I'm like, OK. So then I'm like, OK. I overhear someone saying that there's clear somewhere. And I'm like, where's clear? And they're like, door 752. And I'm like, I'm going. so I'm walking down I feel like clear is the biggest scam ever shout out to clear save my life though okay but anyway but now that everyone has it the line is almost like worse yeah but I feel like they've gotten better where now it's anyway long story short I finally see clear now mind you Paige is texting me she goes how's it going and I realized Paige I've been here for 30 minutes i'm still not even in a line you've just been standing in the airport for 25 minutes what should we do because you know that that decision is make or break of if you're getting on the plane if i committed to the wrong line i'm fucked so instead i was just walking in a little circle fighting with myself and i get so and you're texting me like are we doing well i'm like i'm like i'm actually farther than i was when i first got to the airport you're like i'm actually back in the uber and i'm going home like i'm not no mind you at this point it's 6 40 so we're boarding we're boarding and i'm still haven't gotten on a line i'm trying to find where this clear line is i go i find the clear line and they're like this is pre-check and i'm like i i do a pre-check but they're like we don't care so i find the non-clear pre-check it's like 650 by now and i see a giggler and she's like hey i just want to say like i love your pod and i'm like hey Paige is gonna fucking kill me yeah like she's on this flight alone I can't let her fly alone also like my flight's boarding and they're like when I'm like 15 minutes ago and then she's like I'm sitting on the plane asking the flight attendant like hey like do you think you guys are like running on time or like what's your vibe for shutting the door and she looks at me and she goes and she's like what and I'm like my friend she's coming and she looks me dead in the face and goes we're not holding the plane for your friend and I'm like oh okay this is my thing you're very powerful so I was like Paige work your fucking magic you get that plane to stop tell them there's a VIP who wakes who sleeps too late but by the way you're like comfortable mind you they were late shutting the door and they did wait for my friend so so by the way I finally get to I get to the right line and now I'm like sorry I'm boarding and people but I look around me I'm like I feel like everyone's missing their flight so then I kind of you can't just skip people everyone's missing their flight but then I asked one person I was like hey I'm boarding they're like what times are you boarding and I was like 30 minutes ago it was a great day for people on standby yes yes because so many people I feel like missed their flights and then those people got on yeah and as you know like we don't always feel good about men but there was like a 38 year old man and he was like at the front of the clear line and like i really don't like cutting the line but this was like this is an emergency this was your life on the line too like it didn't just affect me no i'm sitting on the plane thinking like okay i'm not going to texas by my goddamn self i'm like should i get off i'm like if you're not making it i'm getting off the plane so i'm still i'm it's 15 minutes we've already been boarding so i go to this guy and i go hey do you mind if i cut in front of you and he goes you of course hate when that happens and i go i don't know where this came from i go thank you my king i said thank you my king like what is i've become a different person men are better than women we need you guys i go thanks for inventing airports um and then a giggler was like can i get a photo i'm like yeah i'm missing my flight and she's like that's so hannah coded i skipped this guy and i'm like great still the line's not moving like tsa is not functioning right now and it's not their fault because people are not getting paid.

10:39So when I tell you, it didn't matter how many people I skipped, no one was moving. Who cares if you're in the front? The front's stuck. No one's going anywhere. So then finally I put my stuff in the security, the baggage, whatever, and it gets through and I'm with another guy, but it's not going through and some guy goes, did you leave your laptop in the bag? And this is for the other guy. And he's like, no, no one told me. And then I'm like, oh, fuck. You left your laptop in the bag. Yeah, because I'm a TSA pre-princess. Oh so you didn't Did your bag have to go back through? So his bag has to go back through And I know that's gonna happen to mine And I'm like I don't have this kind of time Yeah Like Paige is literally scared And alone And fighting with the flight attendant I was actually on TikTok And like I was like sure I'll have a glass of champagne Thank you so much I'm D Oh wait One of the guys was like Ma 'am you have to stand back a little You know when they get weird With like where your foot is And I just look at him And I go My flight's boarding 30 minutes ago And he's like oh damn Finally my bag comes and I become like a four-year-old.

11:35I'm like, I'm sorry. My laptop is there. I just, I'm going to miss my flight. And they're like, you dumb bitch. We don't care. We're not getting paid. And I'm like, valid, valid. This is all happening. I'm not telling you these details because I don't want to stress you out further. When I tell you they put it back in, they took the laptop out. I grabbed my laptop, grabbed my backpack, just holding my laptop bare. Raw dog. Laptop. And we're back at it again, running through the air.

12:00Hannah Berner: And we were, and I texted you and I was like, and I don't want to make matters worse, but we're the last possible gate. We're like 55. With this airport run, I put my phone in my pocket because we're 30 minutes past boarding now. Yeah, that's the door is closed. Yeah, but we're in Texas. But I'm giving it like a last ditch. And I go, I don't even want to know that I failed yet. I'm just going to try. And I'm thinking knees up I'm like knees up knees up I get so tired I have to stop catch my breath that is the most embarrassing when people see you stop and then start again I'm running I'm running I'm running I'm running it goes it felt like I was running for two hours even when I was walking there I stopped I was like that's a far gate this is long now we're 35 minutes past boarding you guys like I'm not making this flight I'm texting Grace and she's like there's no other flights to Austin and I'm like damn I bought this like crazy dress I'm not gonna be able to wear it Paige is gonna be there all scared alone no I would have gotten I would have landed in Austin and gotten on another flight back home like I wasn't doing that without you but you also were like should I get off this plane and it gave a really romantic rom-com moment like should I get off the plane and just be with you and then Grace was also like my flight's delayed and I was like I'm not being the representative that would happen to you by myself you're like i'm not accepting pockets of the year board alone then then i get to the gate everything's like closed and i'm like can i get on and the guy's like yes so in that moment i'm like this this was out of my power like that was that was jesus christ like that was god i think because i accepted my fate i was like i've missed my flight that the universe was like now we'll give it to you because you're not fighting us and sorry about the government lockdown when you did get on the flight attendant looked at me and was like is that your friend i was like never seen her before but the girl sweating and panting nope also by the way i have i'm not gonna brag i'm gonna brag i'm a diamond medallion yeah okay give me some i'm a diamond medallion like thank you for being a diamond medallion like put some respect on my name wherever i go i say say thank you for being a diamond medallion they say and I say thank you so I get upgrades a lot and I I had I was sitting in 2a yeah I get there and they're like oof we have a problem and immediately I'm like I'm not gonna make the flight and they go we gave your seat to someone else and I was like at this point I don't give a fuck put me in the back and he's like you are in the back you're in see like in that situation it feels like they should have switched you guys yeah I'm thinking it's because I wasn't even past security maybe when they needed I don't know and I'm just like as long as they're dealing with a lot right now they're dealing with a lot so I walk in and yeah you're sitting there and you don't even make contact with me you're like I can't with you well because I knew in the morning I was like no I think we should leave a little bit earlier when I tell you I'm so sorry and you're right thank you oh my gosh thank you you're right like the whole time you were right my favorite part of that whole day though was then we landed in Austin we had to immediately go because we were late leaving we had to immediately go to a meeting airport closed didn't have time to change we've got luggage we're starving we're like also it's freezing I was seat 20 next to the two biggest men and the guy was actually sitting in the my seat the um because I got the window seat and there was the empty seat in the middle and the other guy was in the aisle so i was like sorry bro you gotta move i'm sitting in the window seat i shouldn't even fucking be here right now yeah and did he give it to you he gave it to me but like begrudgingly and then he's also wearing a leather jacket so like it makes it worse that your leather jacket your big shoulder leather jacket is like in my neck and then of course he falls asleep on your shoulder snoring but also in that moment i said this is what i deserve yeah for sleeping in and being a little bitch this is what i deserve so then me and him are cuddling yeah i was like get in here at one point i leaned forward and he just like fell behind me and i was like i just mean he's on my lap i was sitting on his lap and we had a fun kiki yeah his name was andre um but we land we land we go to our meeting Straight from And like Serious meeting Like people Like people were contacting us Prior to this meeting Being like Hey do you want to like Go over anything Should we prep And we're like Yeah yeah yeah Like we got it There were executives there We're sitting there And we're like We're gonna order food Because we're starving And mind you It's like a It's like 11.30 It's like brunch time And brunch is a whole Different kind of order You don't just order A sandwich like I actually got a baguette For the table And no one was eating I was eating but me and you.

16:50Hannah Berner: But it was for us. I mean, they had jam on the side. Like, I'm not just seeing baguette and jam on a menu and saying no thank you. Like, that's rude. And I ordered, I said I want an omelet. I want a water. I want iced latte with vanilla and oat milk. And I want orange juice. Yeah. And a side of sausage. Now, the waiter. Sometimes waiters do this thing where they're like, I've been a waiter for so long. You tell me your order. I'm memorizing it. Or they go, let's see what I remember. I'm like, I don't want to play that game. Whenever they say that. I'm like, I didn't sign up to test your memory.

17:25Hannah Berner: I don't want to play Russian roulette. Yeah, I'm just trying to order breakfast. The guy didn't write it down. And I looked at him. I said, this is going to be an order. Yeah. And he was like, OK, let me know if I get anything wrong. I'm like, no, that's not my job. So Hannah gets the omelet. I get the breakfast sandwich. They're bringing over our food. I spot the waiter bringing Hannah's over. And in my head, I'm like, that's not what she ordered. But we're in the middle of this meeting. and she okay there's five executives talking like serious stuff about like the art of podcasting as they put our food down the guy brought bread with like tons it was a salad you know i didn't order that with just one hard-boiled egg with like curry on it so it comes down and immediately this guy's talk the executive's talking to me i'm seeing colors like i don't know what's going on You're furious.

18:13Hannah Berner: I'm like picking up my breakfast sandwich so daintily. I'm taking a bite. I'm looking over at Hannah. She's aghast. Now, gigglers, in that moment, would you tell the executive to stop talking so in front of everyone you could say this isn't what I ordered? I'm not a fucking monster. Also, I'm lucky to be there. I barely made it that morning. So I decide to suck it up and I'm slowly eating these like gross leaves of fucking like arugula for brunch. who wants arugula for brunch and the guy's like oh that looks really good yeah everyone was like oh my god i'm gonna get that next time and in my head i'm like she fucking hates it then then i'm done eating like i kind of like push my plate forward a little like okay like i'm finished with this we're still talking in the meeting hannah's sitting like directly next to me very serious meeting by the way i just feel her elbow

19:08Hannah Berner: I feel her elbow like brush up against me and I like look over at her in the corner of my eye because this man is speaking. She was eyes locked. And I look over in the corner of my eyes. She looks at me and she then she looks at my breakfast. She looks at my breakfast sandwich and I know she's asking me if she can eat the rest of it. And so I don't say anything and I just move my plate. like you touch the plate slightly and I push it over to her and then she starts eating it and the executive goes oh um so you guys are close he goes did you just ask her to eat her sandwich and then start eating it and I was like yeah but with no words no words and then I swear to god he goes you guys have really good podcast chemistry and I was like and that's just another reason Giggly Squad is working also by the way I was talking throughout this whole thing I was like yeah and then the logistics of but we had a full conversation you were like the waiter didn't write it down i'm pissed i knew he was gonna do this he fucked up my order i we had that full conversation while we were sitting there also like if you invite us to a breakfast meeting we're getting full girl brunch yeah and nobody else ate no one else ate and they were just watching me like have a fight with the food he didn't have to call us out that was funny though also we finish each other's sandwiches on ebay every find has a story like if you're looking for a vintage band tee not just a tee the band tee from the last show your favorite band ever played you wore it everywhere then your boyfriend started wearing it which was cute until they dumped you and took it with them which was so not cute.

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24:14Hannah Berner: So then we go to the hotel. We get ready. We do glam. We take pictures. We go to the awards. And by the way, I'm like, I'm tired. Even though I slept late, I still only got four hours of sleep. You know, I hate glam. And I tell you, I was like, look, I'm like not really in a social mood. Like, let's just, we can do this. You literally said to both of our assistants, Grace and Josephine, just like the perfect people. Hannah goes hey you guys sit on either side of me so that I don't really have to socialize a lot tonight and I'm like in my head I'm like I'm like I'm getting in my head like I'm nervous I don't have it in me I'm really tired I can't do this we get there Hannah is now the mayor of the event okay she's going over to people's tables she's checking on them she's asking if they need anything she's taking selfies with everyone she's like I'm sitting at the chairs just being like she's gonna walk over and say why did you guys let me do this and you literally you walk over and you're like guys I'm socializing so much then the awards start okay the awards start we present an award to the basement yard they win which we love the basement yard love their wives to it's our turn like our is the last award we win amazing we have a flight to catch after okay we have to leave immediately and go to the airport i'm looking around i'm like where the fuck is hannah she's in the middle of like a mosh pit like she's honestly she's like turning she's talking to so many people you're like turning yep one second let me just finish over here I've now put myself just behind a curtain just a random curtain that I've found I'm like I'm just gonna stand behind here I text Grace and I'm like we have to go to me is like Paige is really upset and I'm like Paige is so over me in this moment no because you say one thing you do another well what I realized is I when I can either be 150 or nothing yeah and I do get social anxiety where I'm like I don't want to have to turn it on like I don't want to have to be that girl but once it's on it's on I can't yeah I can't scale back on her and look Eliza Schlesinger was there and I was catching up with her we said the basement yard um we were just like meeting random people in the podcast space and next thing you know I'm like I love socializing this is where I shine like but okay it's like found me in the corner I'm just like covering my face with a napkin i'm like we have to go you were like i committed to the plan i didn't talk to anyone so then when we first were announcing the first award by the way we're standing backstage and it was a it gave you like a little moment of like when we were on tour and you were like i'm a little bit nervous to go on stage and i just look at you and i go by the way i'm not reading the teleprompter and she turns to me and she goes hey um you know that like the lines that i wrote and like gave to the guy to put in the teleprompter yeah i actually just decided i don't like any of it i'm like no no read the teleprompter she's like yeah i'm not gonna go if i go off script just go with it and you're like can't you're like just saying the time to go off script i'm feeling a creative urge just like express myself in a different way so we're out there off script completely off script no but before we go out there oh yeah the stage manager he goes okay hey, you guys are going to walk out there.

27:47Hannah Berner: Paige, you're on the left. Hannah, you're on the right. Hannah goes, quick question. Is that changeable? Can I go on the right? And he's like looking at his papers and he's like, it says specifically that you must be on the right and Paige must be on the left. And you're like, okay, I'm going to need to talk to your boss real quick. I said, who are you working for? Because that's crazy that you're like, the only thing you have to do is Hannah needs to stand on her monster side. And the guy starts laughing and I go, my enemy's out to get me. who's your boss let me talk to them and he's dying laughing and he thinks it's funny and i'm like when does this matter where we stand yeah and you know the only thing i care about is not wearing my hair in a ponytail yeah and not standing on the right side you're extremely passionate about not wearing your hair and anything else i'm very laid back about totally arguably very chill except i don't like reading teleprompters right which see i love a teleprompter yes because you like organization preparation yes I'm like there it is I don't have to think about it showing that you can read yes it is always a plus it is a plus and you're like see all my haters including me so the guy's like laughing and I'm like it's not funny like I really like sure I really don't want actually being a comedian right now like I'm I'm pissed I literally looked at him like what would happen if I just like went on the left side and he's like laughing I'm like I'm not I think it It was the lower thirds when you were streaming it.

29:09But I also, yeah, so we go out. But yeah, I was going rogue out there and I blacked out. I don't know what I said. And I do have to say, they posted our speech and it was really, really fun and cute. But I want to announce, I don't think anyone called it out, but there's a moment where like they gave me the award and I went to give it to you when you were speaking. Yeah. And then I pulled it back. Yeah. And afterwards you're like, what was that? It was really heavy. and as I was giving it to you, I was like, she's gonna hurt herself. You literally faked me out on stage. I was like, no. I'm like, do you want to?

29:41Hannah Berner: Actually, this is my award. No, but it looked like I literally was like, high five. Too slow. Couldn't take it. But it was very heavy. And I was like, as the man won, I was like, I'll hold it while you can speak. When we were done presenting, we were going back out to sit for the rest of the awards and we saw both of our assistants sitting on the couch and we just were like, how cute are they? How adorable. Just so sweet. Shout out Grace and Josephine for literally being the heart and soul. We had the best time. Then we all flew home together and we just had like the best time yapping. I also think it is crazy.

30:19There are like some podcasts that have like huge productions, which people are going on stage with like seven people behind them. Everyone was thinking a lot of people. I was like, wait, who are these people? What did they do? But I just have to say, our team is literally me, you, and Grace. Yeah, we're giggly squad. Grace hasn't slept in years, but we spoil her, I promise, and I force her to get a cat. We got our quesadillas on our way home. But shout out to such a small operation. I think if you try to make your operation too big sometimes, not to talk business, but you can lose quality control.

30:56Yeah, too many cooks in the kitchen. Too many cooks in the kitchen and also people who may not like hair. Giggly is a well-oiled machine. It's a well-oiled, small, simple machine. But we have to say it's all the Gigglers. Yeah. Like the Gigglers make this podcast. All of you won this award. Yeah. Like this is for you guys being the fucking funniest, smartest, hottest, most beautiful girls and gays in the world.

31:21Hannah Berner: Hannah, I actually said that about you guys in the meeting. Oh, I did. Well, I like that. You're like, you're not going to believe it. but like they're all beautiful jobs no you're like they have professions which i have to make a quick edit obviously i messed up something last week again about the smithsonian also people have to talk about when you have nubby fingers it really is harder to text and also um justice do you know when you flush a bathroom and they have those fancy ones that are like a circle and you press down the circle. Yeah. When you have long nails. Yeah, I do it with my knuckle.

31:58But like that's not good for women.

32:00Hannah Berner: No, it's not made for women. It's not. Oh, yeah. So she said, died over the shout out. I work at the African-American History Smithsonian. I work at the African-American History Smithsonian. They want to give us a tour if we ever go to D.C. They have exhibits on sports and fashion that can be catered to our respective interests. And that's being a giggler. They're all like genius women. They really are. We didn't even know what a Smithsonian was. I thought that was like a man. Maybe it is a man. How are you? Good, how are you? Wait, I need to talk about my Lemmy day. Yes, yes. It was my favorite day of my entire life.

32:46Hannah Berner: Like it was truly the best day of my whole life. knowing you and like stuff you used to talk about before these things happened to you makes it more magical like you love the Kardashians love them it's always on in your apartment I've never been a hater of them you there is nothing they could do to make me hate them I'm obsessed with every single one of them so when we first got an email that Lemmy wanted to collab with us we were actually sitting in a Daphne office like around the table and one of the our Daphne people was like okay this is gonna sound crazy but like Lemmy wants to collab and I like lost my mind and they were like we didn't know like if you were gonna want to do it and I was like gonna wanna do it are you kidding when you texted me it was like the most like starstruck I've been they were like it's sleep week she thought it would be cute if we like collabed on let me sleep like perfect I was like no perfect the marketing rights itself also just like thank god I created a brand that's like in the bed because anytime I go somewhere they're like okay and the first shot is you in the bed I'm like perfect thank you but also it wasn't just you like holding a lemmy gummy it was you spending a day with Courtney so we pull up okay first I obviously get glam I'm like taking pictures like look my outfit we pull we drive to Calabasas we pull up when you pull up it wasn't what I was expecting it to look like on the outside like it looks like a very like just professional um I don't know like complex have you ever been to Calabasas no never been to Calabasas I didn't know it was a real thing I thought it was just part of the this the TV show it's very sweet it's very cute it's it's far though but like they must live near it they live near it convenient so we get there we're in the parking lot we're like about to walk in and we walk in two like girls sitting at the front desk and they're like hey welcome to Kim's studio and I'm like oh my god you're like Kim who so you there's like a little computer in the front and it's like you click you go it's a fake computer Hannah it felt like Barbie life size I was like this is not real there's no way this can be real so it's a little computer and you click like Kim's office or Kim's studio.

35:03Hannah Berner: And so we click like Kim's studio. You're immediately you're signing an NDA on top of the NDA that you've already signed to even like agree to get the address. You're about your NDA. Yeah. They're like you're breaking right now. Am I? No. No you can say you signed an NDA. So you walk in it's stunning. Beautiful. Like everything is exactly what you think it's going to be and so then we like keep walking back and then we like enter into like the glam room it's just which of course they have it's just rows of it's my dream there's just makeup artists in every room like giving touch-ups to you it's a rose of glam chairs with like mirrors light perfect lighting on the other side it's just like a massive couch that looks like a bed and then it's just like lines of daphne clothes and then like inside the studio is like the bed and everything you know what I have to say that you have to be proud of the Kardashians that is a business run by women women oh yeah like every single decision is made by a woman it's not women written by men and like these are powerhouses making those decisions there was like random people in different parts like working on different stuff that you could like tell there's a lot of people well they're running 4 ,000 businesses and not every of their business is even in that one building I don't think so then one of Courtney's like people come over and they're like okay Courtney's pulling up like we'll start in a little and so I'm like okay let me pee like before we really start and mind you they wrapped our phone so like we couldn't take any pictures so we were like very present in the moment because we could only look at each other like we had nowhere to look and you go hi who are you guys nice to meet you Paige so nice to meet you and there's one moment you had blue eyes there's one moment like I go in the bathroom and I like had a not a panic attack but I was like oh my god like I'm at the Kardashian's office I'm about to shoot with Kourtney and you've never met her before I never met her before for anyone who says that Kourtney doesn't work she is one of the most efficient workers I've ever met in my life she showed up she was ready we shot professional shot for like an hour maybe an hour and a half got everything her team the nicest people ever like it was truly so much more down to earth and normal than I was expecting like we were just kiki-ing one thing I have to say about the Kardashians is they have longevity and you don't have longevity unless you're like good to work with and work efficiently no there was a moment where they were like okay heads closer together and like I'm like in Courtney's bosom you know like I'm like you're in bed with her like I'm literally laying on her and I turn to her and I go second base you have a really relaxing presence and she was like thank you so much she goes thanks I'm sleeping like she she felt very like maternal like I was just like she is yeah I was just like wait you're very like calm was there anything about her that was different than what you thought it would be not at all she like went into like some long-winded story that like I don't even remember now but I'm like I'll listen to you for hours I think she like Chloe is by far like the comedian yeah but Courtney makes me laugh no she's so she's unintentionally really funny she's so dry and so honest she does remind me of you in a way yeah where like she'll just say it and own it yeah like she'll just be like gross I love it I'm just like obsessed with her that is so cool and it just shows live your dreams manifestation is real no I was on such a high after that then like my whole team we all went to the Beverly Hills Hotel I even got like an alcoholic drink I was on such a high you celebrated yeah I had a glass of wine no it was so fun and that was before I did SAG so I was out there and we shot Lemmy when it comes to meeting like people you admire there's one thing to like get a selfie with them but to actually spend quality time with them and see how their brain works and like be like she was just so nice like and she didn't have to be as overly nice to me as she was she could have just been like yeah we're doing this thing it's like for my brand like let's get it done like great to meet you see ya but she was very like warm and welcoming and that means the world it really does it really does so everyone remember to be kind honestly I could have the worst day and like if a random person like says they like my poncho like like my days turned around Go up to a random person and say you like their poncho.

39:34I'm like, I believe in humanity again.

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41:40The Big Arch is what happens when you start making a McDonald's burger and never stop. The Big Arch, the most McDonald's McDonald's burger yet for a limited time. Has the news been getting you down? I'm Megan McCardell and I'm here to help. I'm the host of a new show from Washington Post Opinion called Reasonably Optimistic. And it's an antidote to the pessimism that's riddling America right now. Every Wednesday, I'm going to talk to people who see a path forward. It does seem to me that there is some awakening of a desire to act together, to solve problems where they are. You know, I am a believer in America and it's worth fighting for.

42:16Join me Wednesdays on YouTube or wherever you get your podcasts.

42:23Hannah Berner: can I say something crazy and controversial please it's actually not but like whatever yeah I don't think I'll ever get Botox ever again for the rest of my life like I'm never get I don't think I will ever inject my fate I don't think I'll ever do any anti-aging like at a doctor ever again Us Weekly's freaking out right now they're like send it to the press here's what i'll say i'm so thankful i'm so thankful that i have the mom that i have that was like if you ever touch your face i'll fucking kill you well you were kind of the test rat for us totally i was like yeah go get botox tell me how it goes totally you guys and i waited a couple set me the fuck up well you went you went for it i went overboard okay tell me where you made the mistake so when i first got so i was like i'm 33 you're perfect you've never made a mistake i was like i'm 33 i really want to try it so i'm happy that i waited until i was 33 years old also your feed is just full of women being like and i got botox here and i got botox here and this is how i look with botox and they're just like looking stunning and whatever i just don't think it's worth it like i think there are so many pros but i think there are so many cons like I think it made me uglier, honestly.

43:41Hannah Berner: Like ultimately, I think my experience with it is I think it made my face look worse than it did better. And not like for who injected me, none of that. I just think for my own face, I don't like it at all. So first you got your forehead and your initial reaction was, I love it. I'm obsessed with it. I got my forehead and then I got like right here. And why? And I got my chin. And you got your chin. Then I went back three months later, got like a little bit more in my forehead, a little bit more in my chin, which messed up my mouth for the whole time. Like since I've had, which I think that was like in January.

44:21Hannah Berner: Now we're almost in March. And I just, I think it just puts such a bad taste in my mouth because it's like you go to get something and then you hate, you have more problems than to get problems. You pay to be more insecure about your face. A hundred percent. And so like I feel like it'll be almost pretty much dissolved by like I would say by the summer I'll probably be like back to my normal face. And I don't think anyone could ever convince me to go back and get Botox. And the only reason I want to say that is because I know that so many girls might have gotten it when you might have gotten it because they're like because I did it.

44:56Hannah Berner: Like, OK, like maybe it's time. Yes. We're like pretty much all the same age. Yes. But I know there's so many girls that listen to us who are in college and sometimes even a little bit younger. I don't think they should get it. That is so powerful of you to say. And I appreciate it. As someone who hasn't gotten Botox yet, because I want to see what your experience is going to be. Perfect. What a friend. Yes, you might see lines on your face, which I personally love my lines. Because one, it gets me more respect in the boardroom. When I'm stuffing my face with a croissant sandwich that I stole from you and telling them about strategy, they can tell I've seen some shit I feel like I've also kind of hit in age where I'm like well one I feel like I'm like hotter than I was when I was like 25 so much but two I also feel like I've hit an age where I don't want to look like a young girl in their 20s because I'm like wait do you know how awful girls in their 20s are treated like I don't want to look like I'm that young because i've been through too much to get disrespected like it's horrible but there is also a thing aging does not mean uglier right let's normalize that aging is growth is knowledge is also like grace literally said to us the other day we're in the elevator and she was like i can't wait to be your age and we were like why and she was like because you guys are so pretty and i oh my god she said that to us you weren't listening to her no i don't know but like we're inspiring her as in like i mean i've lost my baby fat i also know my face better i've found the right hair color like i'm evolving i found the right hair i also come from a line of women who are fucking gorgeous in every decade like i look at my mom in her 30s her 40s her 50s and it's just like epic every single one um but also like when i see a man on the street who has like gray hair or like salt and pepper beard or something i'm like oh hot stick it to me yeah like that guy's like older and hot and knows things and not that i'm saying like i'm not gonna i would never die like i'm would never have gray hair that's one thing that i wouldn't do it can be chic like it can be chic but like i will dye my hair when i get to that point but you don't go blonde no like i'll be a brunette but i just don't think i will like okay anti-aging like eye cream great but i don't think i'll ever go but again i would argue plastic surgeon and get something anti-aging until I'm like in my 50s.

47:19I would argue that a lot of these products though, like I'm so sick of girls putting on products and TikTok and being like, look how glossy my skin looks. I'm like, yeah, you just put something shiny on it. Yeah, that's an oil, babe. That's an oil. People are like, look how shiny my skin is. I'm like, cause you put an oil on it. It didn't actually change. But and even like the under eye stuff, it's so expensive. And I'm like, is it that different than like the other stuff?

47:41Hannah Berner: Now, when I got Botox, do I think it was phenomenal for my crow's feet? Totally. But I think the cons outweighed that like one benefit. And not to talk shit, but sometimes when people have too much Botox and they smile and they don't have crow's feet, it looks like a horror movie smile where they're like. Yeah. Yes. So I just don't think I'll ever do it again. And but I'm happy. I actually am happy that I was the guinea pig for this because I do feel like a lot of gigglers were like I had like a lot of women even in my real life be like wait I think I'm gonna get it now like where'd you go or like how do you like it and so I'm just like so you wouldn't even get a little forehead honestly I don't think so I don't know yeah okay maybe like next fall if I'm like oh maybe I'll just get like a little in my forehead okay but I don't think I'll ever do it the way I did it.

48:36I also think you have a particular job where you're speaking. You're a comedian. No, it has been so fucking hard to talk. When you're hosting with too much Botox, it's difficult.

48:49Hannah Berner: The amount of things I've been, I've Googled for the past three months. Like, I actually think it almost made me feel like it looked like I, it didn't look like I got lip filler because my lips didn't like get bigger, but it almost made me feel like the shape of my lip changed for some reason yeah and i hated it i was like i have amazing lips and i have an amazing mouth like i don't know speaking of the kardashians there was a time where kim did something to her chin where like the her lips looked like lower yeah than they were and she like fixed the only thing i could think about was wow how many girls get suckered into getting like filler and then that doesn't go away i was so thankful like i kept just reminding myself like okay it's botox so like it's gonna go away you're not gonna be like this forever and thank fucking god so if you're contemplating filler or botox don't do it i'm obsessed with you my biggest piece of advice too is stop looking in the mirror so much girls okay no like people are looking in the mirror trying to like find issues sorry that's my hobby no but like wait the other night hannah was at my apartment i was like sorry i think i'm gonna go do my hobby and grace was like you're gonna read and i was like i'm gonna shower do a face do my skincare you would do skincare all day if you if you could yeah where i'm like the person like who's on the couch at night and i'm like no hannah i need a full hour before i get into bed we live such different lives i have things to do it's a red light i have to i have to tune fork and kitty loves tuning forks she loves them i also have to say though when you're always looking in the mirror and you're always picking yourself apart like you're not seeing like it is dysmorphia at some point and at one point let's say you're like oh I hate these lines on my face in whatever way.

50:37No you think I fully have body dysmorphia. You do have body dysmorphia and I try my best and I say that you're beautiful and you're like you're my best friend of course you see that shut up. I'm like contractually

50:46Hannah Berner: you have to say that or the pod's done. You're like I'm surrounded by yes people. No that's when I call my mom whenever I feel like I'm surrounded by yes people I just call my mom I'm like what do you think? She's like yeah your mouth's fucked up yeah you look fucked up but there's a moment where like okay let's say I have some lines on my face yeah but then in your situation I get Botox now I hate myself in a different way that feels unfamiliar to me and gives you anxiety you get even more mad because you're like this isn't even me I wasn't born with this isn't my fault this isn't my mess up outer thing and then you feel like you're not even your true self I'd rather be my true self and ugly yes then someone else making me ugly no that's what it is I'm like I rather hate myself the way I was made than hate myself for what I did hate yourself authentically let me hate myself in peace and some girls you put so much on I don't even see their soul anymore yeah that's why I'm just I feel like I wanted to say this because I know there's so many girls that get filler and that's so not repairable the way like Botox is and so I didn't even want not that I ever thought about getting filler because it truly does scare me but there's also a like idea of when you do filler like you're trying to look how you used to be which is what we were saying we're like what if you discover what you're gonna look like why are we always trying to be like what we were and honestly I'm actually low-key not that worried about aging like I've never really been that nervous about aging because like we don't drink like we really don't like we are not people that like have a drink every single i had like three quesadillas the other night i woke up with a hangover like that was crazy we were hung over from the mexican well i also was hung over from socializing so much being the bell of the ball which is exhausting but i never really think about aging like that because i know that i have a drink maybe like once a month yeah well this this episode has been so informative and I really love that you said that like that was you were like I tried it with a whole open heart yeah and this is my feedback and this is my this is my journey and if you want Paige to try out anything else she will just dm her okay I will I do think I am gonna go get micro needling but anyway I digress posted also before we wrap wrap up I want to let you guys know that my buffalo wild wings commercial is out yes now this is my first ever tv commercial um and it's so funny because i feel like it's so glamorous page versus hannah coded like pages like if i can make commercials all year or for the rest of my life i would but you're like i have a chesame i'm doing lemmy i'm doing you know i'm on a space we love branding at pages or go headquarters but then i later got a call and i'm like i'm obsessed with B-Dubs.

53:35I also, Hank, I shot with Beck Bennett from SNL who does the voice of Hank and we riffed the whole time. It was so much fun. I'll tell you guys more about next episode. Check it out. I just posted, but shout out to B-Dubs and shout out to Botox. We'll see you next week. And we love you guys so much. Bye.

54:01With its two juicy beef patties, three slices of melted cheese and tangy Big Arch sauce. The Big Arch is what happens when you start making a McDonald's burger and never stop. The Big Arch, the most McDonald's McDonald's burger yet for a limited time. Has the news been getting you down? I'm Megan McArdle, and I'm here to help. I'm the host of a new show from Washington Post Opinion called Reasonably Optimistic, and it's an antidote to the pessimism that's riddling America right now. Every Wednesday, I'm going to talk to people who see a path forward. It does seem to me that there is some awakening of a desire to act together, to solve problems where they are.

54:40You know, I am a believer in America, and it's worth fighting for. Join me Wednesdays on YouTube or wherever you get your podcasts.