Giggling about big decisions, boy kibble, and bed chem

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1:07What's up, Gigglers?

1:09Hannah Berner: Gary, fix the Wi-Fi. Manifest that shit. We can't be managed.

1:17Hannah Berner: I mean, the day just got away from me. What's up, my gassed up, Gigglers? It's Friday. Sorry, that was millennial. that was but it's okay there was a woman standing behind me it's crazy to call a woman millennial like that's a girl but she was saying totes and i was like oh at least when i was millennial is her totes like she was on the phone she was like totes totes i forgot about that then at the airport i see a lot of parenting which is very fun because i like some people are like showing off their parenting some people are like ignoring their kids every now and then someone yells something crazy and this woman this kid ran in front of his mom and she goes someone's gonna steal you okay was like 17 no i'm just kidding my mom used to do that too like do you want someone to take you and then you'll never see me again and i was like ma 'am no one wants your sticky kid yeah but anyway i'm in ohio all weekend jealous on sunday i go to salt lake city the scene of the crime no No pun intended.

2:19Hannah Berner: I know. We always seem to do that. Like we talk the most shit about something and then we're like, hey. No, we were talking about the rodeo and someone messaged me and they're like, the rodeo guys really won't find this funny. Like, watch out if you see a guy in the airport with a cowboy hat. I don't think I'm coming across anyone in the rodeo anytime soon. And if I do, that's on me. Check my location because why am I there? I don't bother them and they don't bother me. Also, they call each other partner. I digress. Anyway, how are you? I'm going to speak my truth and then you speak yours. My favorite thing to do.

3:00Hannah Berner: Okay. I thought you were about to say I forgot. You're going to forget. Talk. Obviously, we announced our Netflix show. Let's just take a minute. Let's take a second because... Let's take a moment of silence. That was really good. Okay, that was really good. you realize let's give some like backstory because the gigglers are like okay hello where the fuck did this come from let's speak our truths let's speak our truth okay so here's my truth let me get subtle here's my there could be multiple truths and multiple things could be true at one time i think like people forget like nuances and things can be happening simultaneously so let's go back to summer 2025 I wrap up my last season of which will soon to be my last season of summer house unbeknownst to the people almost a little bit unbeknownst to me but I'm feeling it as the summer's wrapping up and I leave that very last day of summer house and as I'm walking out the front door stepping down the steps I have a moment where I'm like you're probably never coming back here but I say nothing literally Hannah Montana yeah walking out the door this is probably the last time you're gonna do this and that was like my gut feeling we go into September we go into our insane 60 we kick off our 60 city tour was it that many cities I think maybe it was like 52 you can't count while you're doing it but I feel like we've talked about the tour so much but we've never really been able to speak like exact facts about the tour because we couldn't say this we didn't we couldn't say we were writing a show and we were going to pitch it and we were going to sell it and we were going to do all these things so like months ago and even like a year ago I feel like I've said so many times like how transformative that tour was but like now I feel like people really realize how transformative it actually was and let me just set the scene for the gigglers I'm having panic attacks left and right I'm like right if there's a bridge nearby like Hannah's literally keeping me away from it like I am truly going through it you were just like a body I was moving through cities I was like yeah I can't even explain I was a shell of a person Like I'm in the middle of just like totally changing my life.

5:34And me and Hannah are with each other every single day.

5:37Hannah Berner: So obviously we're still being funny amidst the chaos. Yeah. Just because you're a shell of yourself doesn't mean you're not hilarious. I can't crack a joke. That's my darkest is when I'm actually my funniest. That's the only way to get through it. I think that's what it was. I was at my darkest and I was like, I think I'm also at my funniest. When I'm happy, I'm quiet. Right. Right. I'm content. And you know what's bad for comedy? Being content. Correct. So we're with each other every single day. And obviously we just start like doing bits. We're doing bits left and right. We can't stop cracking jokes.

6:10Hannah Berner: And so we finally get to a point where we're like, Hannah's like, I feel like I should write some of this down. So we write down basically an entire show. And we just like keep adding to it. And we just like, we're like, that's really funny. This is really funny. Fast forward. we're doing our last couple shows and we're at radio city and we're like wow this tour was i changed as a person i changed as a woman i changed as a friend i changed as a daughter can i also say we do talk a lot of shit um and we love gossip and we love riffing and being silly improv but me and you have done a lot of giggly squad not physically in the same place yeah also during very different times of our lives like me off the show you on the show and we still managed to like keep the chemistry alive so that tour when we were like together 24 7 we were making money moves like we were sitting together i remember me you and grace sitting at lunch before a show do you remember and i was like would it be crazy if like we did a scripted comedy show and i really had no idea what you were gonna say and you like without a pause no pause we're just like yeah yeah and I was like can we throw some ideas around and you're like yes and so we just start like riffing we just start going which simultaneously we have no I nobody knows we're like creating this or like because at this point it's just like for the two of us like we don't know what we're going to do with it we do our radio city show and then i would say what like a month later amy polar reaches out we found out that amy polar is a giggler and like you know like you have general meetings with people sometimes yeah and she was like i love giggly squad i love your guys's chemistry and i actually like couldn't that was like that was the craziest moment she invites us to her office in LA was the first thing that we did yeah it was almost like a deja vu moment like it was almost like a moment where we were like no we're supposed to be here and this is the exact conversations we're supposed to be having so this was like a full year ago that Amy was like and let's also be clear Amy Poehler is a genius yeah one of the greatest ever do it yeah and kindest and the creator of Broad City yeah which me and you love no like there were times this is like how I can sum it up I don't even know what industry we're in like whatever industry we're in currently like I don't feel like I've had an experience the way I've had an experience like being on a zoom with Amy Poehler where she's like such a freaking expert in her field like we would go through scenes and like be writing jokes for certain like monologues or whatever and Amy would get on the zoom and be like change this this do this and that and I would just sit there being like yeah why the fuck wouldn't we have thought of that in the first place and I just think that's such a good example of like yeah you're an expert you just came in and in five minutes things that we've been working on for four months you just made better in literally a second and the fact that she saw something in us I think gave us confidence to be like that she's just like be yourselves like I don't want to turn you into anything else she's like I could work with this and I'm like oh my god what a compliment you could work with whatever is going on our moms have been trying to figure out how to work with this for 34 years and then going on her podcast was like a dream I was like Amy you don't have to do that but that was just a natural I think because she's loves Giggly Squad so much um so this was the kind of thing you can't plan like it just kind of happened from us doing our thing and and putting ourselves out there because we also could have been like no we're scared we don't want to do it right and here's the other thing like just because Amy's production company said like yeah we want to make a show with you like did not mean we were any further along like we still had to pitch to different networks and at this point in time I now have to make a decision if I'm going to continue being on Summer House or if I'm going to say no and take a chance because I knew that if we wrote this show and if Amy Poehler's wanted to make Amy Poehler's production company wanted to make it and we sold it to a network I knew I would not be able to do it and so I was in a situation where I felt like I either had to take a chance and believe in myself or go back to like chaos that I knew like the comfortable chaos or like take a chance on my like self in the unknown and I do have to say you went through a time where it was kind of like ripping off a band-aid because you were changing multiple parts of your life yeah and it was one of those well I got rid of that it's like when you're cleaning and you're like fuck I'm throwing everything away reality tv is a risk every season because they make the character they want you to be right and they do say you stay long enough to see yourself the villain yeah it's the kind of thing where yeah if you were creatively involved in the show to make it funny and inspiring and stuff that's great but you're not I just knew yeah I just knew if I went back that this would never happen and I wanted this to happen way more than I wanted to like continue to be on reality television and so I made that decision pretty much I guess like in May of that year of last year um and so now we're like a full year and I I mean obviously like couldn't be happier with my decision but it is so funny how like giggly swad we can just post stuff like today we're gonna say what we think what we thought was funny today yeah we're like industry stuff takes forever and we still have so much work to do you guys like we have so much to do um it was just like the initial steps with it but we just want to feed the gigglers with more incredible funny hilarious content and having amy poehler like loving the gigglers is just oh it couldn't be cooler i think it's also like such a good example of like obviously like being a feminist means like so many different things but it's also like something that i feel like i'm noticing for the first time being like 33 and being like older than some people when we're in meetings or like whatever and i just think amy puller is a really good example of she's already at the table and making room and seats for other women yeah like opening the door and i just i feel like that is like what giggly squad is too like if we get somewhere it's because we also want to like make sure that the gigglers can get there too like another girl in our position do you know what I mean do you know well she's at the point in her career yeah where because she's created this production company where now she can put on people she's into and that's where I think we eventually want to get to in our careers is to be able to like show other people the way that we were able to and I think that is like an example of success is being able to like open the door for other women who are younger than you but like are and we're in the same position you were in at some point a hundred percent especially like as a female stand-up there's so many women in stand-up who are like kind of struggling alone because the men don't want them there yeah so then when i find that community or like bring these girls on the road they're like wait there's a stand-up show where it's just like women like being themselves like in the locker room making fun of everything so it's like really important that you don't leave a girl out to pasture in these male dominated spaces and i don't care if it's tv comedy has always been male dominated right um and even seeing like the top 10 podcasts like half of them are female podcasts in comedy right now yeah and it just gives it gives me so much joy it makes me so happy no i mean the fact that we're writing a comedy a scripted comedy show like oh my god I thought like my Super Bowl commercial was like harnessing all my ex's energy but this is like really harnessing like every man that was like you're like kind of funny you're not like funnier than me though I'm like oh my god everyone hates when you talk like you know I just like feel like this is like my ultimate revenge truly oh my god but i think we're gonna learn so much from amy like she's our mentor and we're just like gonna take it in and just how she carries herself in every situation i'm just gonna copy her also like how she is on zooms like do you know how many times like i go on zooms and i'm like amy poehler would just like get to the point like i really love her zoom etiquette she's like hi let's get to it also i can't explain the feeling but when you're on a zoom with amy poehler and you're pitching a tv show yeah whatever said i'm like yeah amy poehler's on the call right like you're gonna question this amy respect amy poehler okay you're gonna question what we're saying amy poehler's here one time we were on a zoom with amy poehler we also you have to say amy poehler yeah you can't just say amy because we respect her we don't just say aims right it's amy poehler one time we're on a zoom with amy poehler and she was like doing her makeup and like getting ready to like go out and she just like fit in our zoom and it was like my I literally had a moment where I was like oh we're all just girls like at the end of the day we're just all girls it's just my dream come true like all I'm thinking about is like my character's outfits well yeah that's what you're excited about and I'm I'm stressing I'm like we need a script we need the script page and she's like we're good we know what to do yeah I'm like my opening scene outfit is phenomenal um also shout out to k cannon who is writing directing also and she was behind pitch perfect she also wrote on new girl and 30 rock so um that's royalty right there no so it's just like a bunch of girls getting together and like putting together a really funny fucking show today's episode is sponsored by victoria's secret the iconic brand behind the world's most comfortable bras and can we talk about the goddess effect for a second because some days I wake up feeling like a gremlin and then I put on the right bra and 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20:38I have two women of STEM women in STEM of the week I'm obsessed with this new segment we've had

20:44Hannah Berner: first of all it's not a new segment you've just made it up and so far we've had three this week so it's not real but the power's going to my head i'm making up segments and i'm going don't you guys love this segment and they're like this is the first time you've done it so first of all there's a girl on instagram who figured out a new way to get the juice of lemon out and i knew you'd like this because you're obsessed with doesn't it seem like when you cut a lemon open and then you're squeezing it you're like i feel like there's a lot of juice that's being left yeah it's all in my hand and this is just too graphic all you have to do take a knife or take a straw or take something pointy okay you know the side of the lemon that has the bump yeah you poke that to like through to the middle of it okay and then just squeeze and it comes out like juice and it's so easy and comes out better wait i literally am gonna do this when we get off the pod yeah i just have to figure out what you poke into it but i feel like anything that pokes it would work and then i got on like a weird algorithm of these like oranges that people are obsessed with have you seen that sumo oranges i think we're on a very different algorithm it got it got weird over here yeah that seems but i just want to say shout out sumo oranges are having their moment they're kind of the it girl right now like all the girls are obsessed with it and they're like no ozombic over here yeah no they're definitely like um how do i say this body positive yeah and they look gorgeous and they love who they are and they're shameless about it and they're on a full press tour right now on tiktok so um that's what i've been getting and the second woman in stem of the week did you see the girl who sued meta and google no some girl this is like 20 years old or something sued meta and google because it claimed that they purposely made her addicted to social media and she won the lawsuit and got three million dollars so that's when i say first of all love a woman wait making money first of all to gen alpha is the karen of all of us and one that girl's never been wrong in her life but now i'm like so where's where's the what do they call it subsidiary checks where's the rest of the checks for everyone to me that's giving like i'm suing mcdonald's because it made me fat because i ate mcdonald's like yeah okay well there maybe they can change something to stop purposely making the algorithm them so you're addicted to it but like i think we're we're way past that i think we're yeah that ship has a hundred percent sailed i guess it'll probably get appealed but if that holds up all of us should be getting three million in the mail soon was this in america yeah i don't know how i feel about it if you're not going to give it to everyone you can't just give it to one girly pop yeah like i don't get how that got through because it's i don't get how that got got but suing meta and google is iconic to be like i can't get off my phone and i can't i can't stop looking at my ex my ex's ex-girlfriend's cousin's page give me three million dollars but it is ruining the world being sued just in general is like cunty like suing someone and being sued it's just like cunty honestly my assistant said the other day because she has to go in for jury duty and she said that she really hopes she gets picked.

24:13Hannah Berner: And I'm like, except that we have a job here to do. She literally would rather do jury duty than answer your text. And this is why she's my assistant. She's like, okay, but I could go one time and wear a really cute outfit. And I'm like, yes, but do not get picked. I'll die. Your assistant wants to fire you. I'm obsessed with her. She's like, what if we did no work tomorrow? And I'm like, honestly, genius. She's like, guess what? I canceled all the meetings. do you know you could do that she's like i just figured out i have free will and i canceled all our meetings today the other day she was like i'm just gonna cancel that i'm like no i have to go she's like okay but don't you feel like you're gonna be tired i'm like yeah but i have to go to it and she's like oh okay your assistant is a local italian man who's like we don't work from 11 a.m to 5 p.m and then we're tired wait from okay lunch all day daphne like brand daphne not cat we get like our um like our poplin stuff we get like this our 100 cotton from italy and so like we had to put an order in prior to christmas and so the guy that like we deal with in italy like our order had to be in like say it had to be in by like december 10th we're like okay like Like, we'll pick our stuff by December 10th.

25:32That stresses me out so much. I would have missed the deadline.

25:34Hannah Berner: He calls us in the beginning of December, and he's like, actually, you guys have to, like, decide by today because Christmas is longer in Italy this year. And we were like, that is the most Italian thing ever. Like, oh, it's longer just in Italy. Like, what are you talking about? He goes, it's not a Christmas month. It's a Christmas year. Yeah, we're like, he was like, it's actually four weeks this year. We're like, okay, Luigi, like, you're pulling our leg. no which is crazy because i went to italy like once when i was little and i remember us trying to get lunch but none of the lunch places were open because every they were eating lunch and i was like this is like what kind of they're like looking at you stupid like you didn't plan lunch they're like i can't make you lunch if i have to eat lunch and i'm like well someone's gonna be hungry and it's gonna be me no there's nothing i love more than like real italian people in the country of italy because it's there's just it's just so different it's so different um um lois and bobby visited i'm so obsessed with them lois is your daughter yeah when i tell you i like under i feel like i connect with her because i connect with you like i'm like i know this breed of girl like i know how to play the game this is lois she's walking on the street and she goes oh like gasps and i'm like what is it and there's a woman walking towards us who's like pretty with like a beautiful dress now i wouldn't have noticed this i'm in my own thoughts fighting my own demons i said what is it lois and she goes she's fancy and i'm like okay i that starts i'm i tried today but i guess i'm disgusting and she was like i was like tell her you like her dress and it was so cute she was like i like her dress and the woman smiled and then i looked at her and i just was like do you like my outfit because i think like i'm a princess too like she thinks i'm a princess right and she just goes no like why would you ask that she was like no insulting to that woman previously that had a great outfit like no she literally was and now i'll play like vogue or like a drag race thing and whenever i play it she just starts like fashion walking so i'm creating a full monster no i love it there's nothing i love more than being girly.

27:51Amazon is great when you need a quick specific thing and she loves mermaid. She loves purple and she loves sparkles. And if you guys don't forget, I got her a purple mermaid thing without sparkles. And she was like, where the fuck are the sparkles without cursing, obviously. And I said, I'm so sorry, I'll do better next time. I got her a sparkly mermaid purple bathing suit.

28:11Hannah Berner: So you could have a daughter that's super girly. Like you get it. Oh, I love it. She opened and then she puts it on immediately even though it's like nighttime and she's walking around the house with it and then she goes take a photo send it to page she's like send it to someone who would really appreciate this someone who cares you know that's someone who has taste who would understand this moment no when i was in third grade i got a dog for christmas and i opened the box and i said mom I love this fur coat and she goes she goes that's a dog okay that's a living breathing poodle not a black fur coat I said oh I'm not getting a fur coat yeah I was like so is the matching coat coming or Santa forgot that like hello and that I feel like truly sums up like where my brain goes she also went into my closet and it was cute because I remember going to my Nana's closet I think it was so cool.

29:11She's going through my closet and she was loving it. And I was in my head thinking like if she was in Paige's closet, she would be having so much more fun right now because I have a lot of T-shirts. I know.

29:19Hannah Berner: That's why I feel like if I were to have a daughter at some point, like I'm almost like, is God going to give me like some type of lesson where it's like, just because she's not girly doesn't mean like you can't connect with her, you know? Our poor kids are going to have to hear these podcasts one day. Have you been like, I hope it's not a. I hope she's cute okay I hope she's cute and I hope she's got a mouth on her okay I hope she stands up for herself oh she will what else is going on are you watching any documentaries well I was watching twisted yoga yeah by the way this is very giggly squad and we talked about this yesterday when we were facetiming we love talking about something light and then randomly out of nowhere just saying the darkest most traumatizing thing you've ever heard no I was on the phone with hannah and i was like a giggler just dm'd me and in such a giggly squad way she's like hey girl like i love you just woke up with my boyfriend of 13 years because he cheated on me with my best friend's sister like whatever so i'm i moved out i'm getting a cat do you have a litter box you could recommend i'm like what like it's so like let me give you the backstory real quick not important um do you have a link you could send me and i'm like talking about little sparkly mermaid dresses then i'm like so there is this twisted yoga documentary where no these girls were getting locked into rooms in romania it's so interesting the cult mindset because like they've been doing these like great yoga classes for like two years like not nothing creepy's happened so then when they're finally like getting kidnapped and they have sunglasses on and a hat over their head and they take their phones away they're like oh it's because the romanian government doesn't like his teachings and they've been trying to get him and we can't let anyone know where he is and then if one girl is like he's awesome you're like okay i'm the crazy one yeah well crazy one yeah

31:20i get that i for sure get that so that was episode two of twisted yoga do you think that like you

31:27Hannah Berner: know how like every like couple of years there's like a workout fad that's like everybody's doing it even if when you watch like the JFK Jr. and like Carolyn Bissett show there's like an episode and she's like doing a workout with her sister and it's like an old school workout like do you think Pilates at some like there's gonna be like make like documentaries about like what's gonna happen to the the classic Pilates girl in like five years question is that gonna be done Pilates is like not as spiritual true it's a little more as yoga but i do think like pilates is giving a like the fact that that guy on that show was like i need a girl who does pilates like it's becoming a loaded thing like it's like a hot girl remember zumba nobody talks about zumba you know who still does zumba my mom every tuesday she has zumba classes after her um knitting club where she talk shit um wait speaking of did you see jesse went on call her daddy and was talking about her divorce and she was like and we got to a moment where he said to me i really want you to be more in your feminine and me and my masculine and i want you to do pilates every single day on top of being the breadwinner taking care of the children doing everything he doesn't work add that to the red flag list if a guy tells you to do pilates i dated a guy one time who was really crazy about what i ate and let me tell you i was in the best shape of my life truly but like i almost like think i i don't even know because i feel like i've dated guys who have said like weird things to me about like working out and eating yeah where i'm just like that's so weird and crazy well there was a moment where i was trying to be a fitness model a sports model you guys remember when i did my adidas campaign and my cat it was just my calf yeah um and i was dating a guy who was like obsessed with the gym and he would like cook for me and it was always like really healthy and my mom was like hey is he being controlling and i'm like i'm trying to be a fitness model so like things made sense at that time right looking back i'm like that wasn't sustainable i was definitely like too fit yeah but i just want to say something just to give confidence to any girl you guys know me right we know each other i see i've never had a man i was with tell me that i was too masculine for him mind you i am the butchiest straight girl in the world i am literally lesbian passing i've never had one man tell me i'm too masculine i've actually had a man be very confused and say hey i was talking to all these pretty models and i looked at you and you were sitting um man spreading and like talking really loudly like passionately about something yeah and i'm like why am i more attracted to her and i was like i don't know babe it's called it's called riz okay and no guy has ever told me anything about my body and my body's fluctuated but guys who want to be with me they like an ass they like curves they don't guys have actually said don't get too skinny it's less like feminine masculine and like your body's right or your body's wrong it's how you carry it and being authentic to yourself and attracting when you're authentic you attract attract authentic people and i think a lot of those mormon housewives are so fucked with their religion and they're forced to be with these guys at such an early age before they know themselves it's like you guys aren't a good fit you're not a good fit the mormon housewives husbands are very like manosphere on a different in a different way also you could argue babe am I in my masculine energy or are you in your fucking feminine energy?

35:13Hannah Berner: Yeah, that's what it is. I've never had someone be like, you're too masculine, but I have had men say, you're just like way too independent. Like you don't need me. I'm like, not only do I not need you. I don't want you. I think your opinion is dumb as fuck. I think you should go to see a doctor and get checked. I think you're not all there. whenever someone stays in a bad relationship people always go oh he must be good in bed he must be good in bed and maybe in the very beginning you're like oh but we have this sexual chemistry but i do have to say the second a man pisses me off or does something that's distrustful or does something that's gives you the ick like or just you decide you don't like him anymore i don't care how beautiful his dick is how good chemistry we have in the bedroom suddenly you look disgusting to me you look like clowns you look like a clown okay like i don't the guy but also even like physically if a guy looks perfect and he opens his mouth and he's not funny and he's weird and insecure you look like a clown no the way i can get so grossed out after i have the like like i could literally you know me i'll throw up at any time when i'm anxious like i'll literally throw up looking at a picture of you you're such a cat you have to watch you guys if you're like need us to laugh just google on youtube cats gagging it's the funniest shit literally me it's literally me when i have to go to a club i'm like no i can't when i know i have to socialize past 1 a.m i'm like i'll actually throw up like i can't physically can't do it.

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41:59did you watch the hannah montana special no because what was it i don't get it

42:04Hannah Berner: okay i'm also like kind of really confused because i'm 33 years old you're 34 yeah i feel like we miss i don't remember watching hannah montana i had a very awkward moment because i was with some people and one of them was like i don't know if i'm dead inside because i love hannah montana but i watched the special and i wasn't like you know crying hysterically and my other friend was like i was crying hysterically it was amazing and i was like you know i am 34 and i missed that boat like i was even stevens i was you know hillary dove but like mcguire that was like i missed it also i was kind of annoyed with hannah montana because she was so fucking famous that every time i introduce myself i say hannah and someone goes like hannah montana and i'd be like i was first i was at the age where i was like i watched one episode and i was like obviously that's her and if you can't tell that that's her so the plot is that she's like a pop star at night the plot is that she's two different people she's like she just changes her hair slightly yeah her hair is just slightly she's wearing a wig and then she's not i'm like yeah i'm past this age is it bangs no bangs if you watched lunette molly you didn't watch hannah montana you aged out like i i don't it was embarrassing i go guys i'm way older than you like i did not watch hannah montana and the girl goes i'm 33 and i was like no i guess there was a unless they were here's the only way i can think of it unless they were the older sibling oh yeah maybe it was a household thing but i'm the older sibling but like my brother wasn't watching it obviously but you're right some people with younger kids 34 you definitely aged out maybe 33 we were on the cusp but i don't think it is funny how one year can like change your entire like cultural perspective of things i had the craziest gen z interaction which you guys know i love my gen z's i identify as gen z yeah this girl comes she says hey can i take a picture and i said of course general gen z queen excuse me get in the car she's like um can i get a picture really quick and i said you keep me young of course and she stands next to me we take the photo and she looks at me swear to god she said that she goes do you remember 9-11

44:30i gasped i said what what she goes do you remember 9-11 like as if it was like yeah never forget babe as if you said like did you watch girls when it came out like that was how she said

44:40Hannah Berner: the live premiere of girls when it came out yeah like do you remember destiny's trial when they were still together like that's how she like said it and what'd you say i said yeah babe i was there i could smell it which obviously was too far wait that's too far hannah honestly that's yeah i remember 9 11 it traumatized everyone around me and she was like i was born that year and i was like a trap but i think it's like a thing where gen z's are like deciphering people by being like who remembers 9-11 versus who doesn't like that's like a new um categorization of people yeah i feel like as a millennial it's like we have too many things like what we have something that happens once a year once every six months what are we talking about no i literally can't keep up everything comes across my desk anyhow anyhow you really made me laugh yesterday when you i don't know where this came from when you just mentioned split wise

45:39Hannah Berner: okay so when me and hannah were on summer house like you pay we pay for a lot more things i feel like that people would have ever realized okay back then it was that show was scrappy like if your shit didn't come from amazon in time you didn't have an outfit for the party yeah like you were done so like we paid for a lot of things like together and so we had this app called split wise and like i feel like that it was so popular like my my roommates used split wise and it was so fucking oh you'd always get a split wise bill and you'd be like what the fuck and so like at the end of the weekend you'd get hit with a bill and it was like how much of your portion you owed so like i can like remember when it fell off like i feel like we like stopped using it like in one summer whatever because i was like what is this app i'm not downloading this app it's gonna give it's gonna give me a virus i'm not downloading people would go off and like buy a bunch of groceries and the next thing you know you get hit with a huge split wise and i was like okay if i'm gonna pay can i have some say in how many champagne bottles you guys get or like i'm not drinking the champagne maybe throw a cheese it on the list next time one carb yeah maybe one carb for me the majority of your 20s is like divvying up checks yeah and then like getting random like two dollar thirty cents venmos from people and honestly thinking back on that like i remember being in group chats being like can you believe she hit me with a venmo for two dollars and 47 cents and now i'm like oh which what simpler times the drama was a lot also back then we'd like randomly have cash on us i'd be like i have a 10 i still like i always have cash on me well you're italian that's very italian of you something happened do you want to know really what it is sometimes randomly even though now like you can use your card but like being out in new york city and like living there for as many years as i've lived there i'm always down to get a street hot dog i'm always down to get a pretzel like if there's an ice cream truck coming by yeah that's an experience i'm getting it so like and also being in new york sometimes like you can only stop it like if you need a water you're like you're gonna die like that is why i always had hello like a bodega there was also a time where they charge like four extra dollars if you use a credit card and i was like i actually can't do this it's against my religion literally i do have like moments of like after a night out it's like 2 a.m you smell the halal guy you go over and he's trying to he's like nine dollars and i'm like i know it's seven i'm a local i know it's seven or even on like a sunday morning like checking my bag being like i have four dollars let's go get pizza or literally you'd be like whoever the guy is you'd be like adam you know me i come here every weekend i only have three dollars i'll give you the rest later i've never once hooked up with an adam or like talk to one i feel like it's like not a name that comes across my desk is the middle name of someone in my family it's kind of cute adam i never get dms my dms are really ramping up of baby names i really i've named half of whatever that generation is about to be okay i actually i if you want to know if your baby name is popular you should ask me because i'm seeing i see a lot of them because yeah you have to make sure the gigglers aren't calling their kids all the same name because we need like a range for the next generation of gigglers there's an uptick in cecilia's and like just celia's just to let you guys know oh just celia just celia do worry about it's going going gone yeah it's going i worry about the c's and the s's and the complications of that as a child however beautiful i mean sicily gorgeous that's a fun name yeah i want to ask you about your supermarket speaking of split wise supermarket etiquette I like don't know this about you are you a cart girl are you uh I'm just gonna grab a couple things are you a put a what's it called over your shoulder a basket a basket I'm never a basket oh you don't like that aesthetic I've never basketed once I love a basket I can't commit to a cart it's too heavy if you're gonna do a basket just do a cart well i think what i do is i start with a basket and then i realize i need a cart and i do that every time because i don't learn i start with i'm just gonna grab one thing yeah and i'm gonna hold it yeah hannah there's so much i can do with my fingers you have no idea that's that's woman in stem i can carry so many things do you know crazy walgreens duane reed cvs if they had carts shit would be crazy like i feel like they're almost like for people's well-being we can't get carts in these places i actually have a gripe with like convenience stores now listen we live in the land of bodegas but bodegas are like very different than like a than like a cvs or a duane reed yeah i don't know if it's because of amazon or like everything's happening online, do you know that you cannot walk into a CVS these days and like get a birthday card or like, like you can, but the, you remember like you used to walk in as a child and it'd be the whole row and it'd be like, birthday for him, birthday for her, birthday for someone you don't know that well, like Holy Communion, Bat Mitzvah.

51:10Hannah Berner: You can't really walk in and get like a birthday bag, tissue paper and a birthday card and it's infuriating to me. I think you fully nailed it. Or if it's something like Christmas comes around and people are buying like bags, they're all sold out. Like I get all of my Christmas paper and I'm like very proud of myself because it's something I really love looking for is Christmas paper. I get all my Christmas paper on Etsy. Yes. Small business stuff. I got cute little tennis racket ones from a company. But like CVS truly in high school and college. Like if you couldn't find me, my mom would call me and be like, you're at CVS, aren't you?

51:47Hannah Berner: like i was always in there because you love the makeup no i just love a cvs i'm like yeah let me try this trinket like this is a new color haven't seen this like i just love that type of shop like i don't even know what that kind of shopping is it's called stuff you don't need which is and stuff you do need i'm like well i don't have a car nail file and like what if something happens and I need a nail file in the car. Like nothing brought me more joy than like my first car and like truly packing it with things that I'm like, this is adorable. Like this is going to go in there. I actually remember when I was younger, for some reason at one point me and my friend go into like a CVS and she was like, my dad gave me his credit card.

52:32We can get whatever we want. I lost my fucking mind. I was like, we're rich. Like, and I was like, we're getting Reese's Pieces. We're getting this magazine. Like I was like, this is, life doesn't get better than this.

52:43Hannah Berner: them being to pick anything from cvs everyone has that one friend in high school where they're like whatever i have my dad's card and it's just like now like now that you're in your 30s you're just like so interesting where are those men you're like where are those men do not one man has ever given me his card like i feel like that is diabolical more men need to be showing me their cards okay i'm sick of it i've had what seven boyfriends in my life i don't have one card i didn't have one card in my possession also you'd look so good with someone else's card wait one time i had my boyfriend's a guy that i dated i had his card for some reason i had to get something for him whatever we had gotten into a fight earlier that day you bought a lamborghini i went to lunch with my girlfriend i spent 250 dollars i said how i said whatever i'm putting it on the cart it was okay it was inside of sacks the restaurant was in fact inside of sacks i went and i put it on his card okay i thought like i'm being naughty whatever you gave me your card to pick something up for you the least you could do is pick up my lunch yeah livid he was livid he was like i can't believe you would use my card unauthorized i was like it wasn't unauthorized you gave me your card to get you something and then i picked up a little something extra you got i got hungry also that's like that's the payment for doing that right it's also like this is the america you created like give me your card that that is reminds me of me the naughtiest i ever was was using one of my ex-boyfriend's dad's cable passwords to get like optimum or i don't know what i did but it was like 10 years and i also gave it to a lot of other women so i actually think i was like the peter pan or it was like a hulu account or something i don't know but i i like saw people would post be like does anyone have a hulu password and i'm like i do yeah back in the days where they didn't like track it to your home yeah yeah i'm the reason all those places had to be like you're the reason tracking yeah netflix changed all the rules well that's like our lime wire side we're like we gotta figure this out like i'll hack it oh no i do miss going to the supermarket with your mom and you're just like can we get this and she's like no that's really sad because you dread that when it's happening you're like oh the last thing i want to do is walk into the fucking grocery store you have to carry everything and now what i would give to like be in the passenger seat in my school uniform my mom being like we're just gonna stop quick like simpler times and you're like are you gonna make that sucky salmon dish again kim step it up i can't eat this crap anymore now in my adult life i'm like i wish you could just come make a salmon for me i have something else that's gonna piss you off so i saved it for the end the men are at it again so they were like upset that we did girl dinner and it like had such good pr and they're starting this thing called boy kibble i know let us have what the fuck does that mean so it's basically boys being like this is like grilled dinner but healthier and manly so it's them just taking like ground beef or ground turkey and like putting some rice in it and putting some vegetables in it and just like basically basically making themselves dog food and they're calling it man boy kibble are they cooking it yeah they don't have an original thought ever like they literally everything is like piggybacked off of us it's like well look the gays and the girls are the best at branding so like obviously they have to wait and see like what we're doing and then the gays really are the best at branding like there's so many things that have come from like the gay community that then trickle into like the girls and then we start saying it and then the men's like i mean i'm watching rupaul's drag race so many things have been invented they were saying sickening in 2014 they started slay you You know how they were like, what did women invent?

56:47Hannah Berner: Like nothing. I couldn't tell you one thing. Like you said right now, name one thing a man invented. War. And what a great note to leave off on. Thank you guys so much for giggling with us. We love you so, so, so much. And you guys are the bestest. And have an amazing, wonderful weekend. That was so inspirational. Good night.

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