


7 Apr 2026 · 55m · 22 chapters

The hosts riff on relationship “rules” and dating psychology (bird theory, boyfriend “olympics”), then debate justice narratives in celebrity documentaries (especially Lamar Odom and the Kardashians). They also swap personal stories about Easter hosting, hosting dynamics, and domestic “thermostat wars,” plus lighter segments on food (Buffalo Wild Wings bottomless apps), fashion/beauty, and TikTok “Women in STEM”/heels.
No guests appear in the transcript; it’s a two-host conversation (mentions of partners Des and Hannah, plus documentary subjects, but no on-air guest speakers).
Not applicable (no guest interviewees).
Bird theory says partners must look when you point out something (otherwise relationship odds “dwindle”). Dating shows like Love on the Spectrum are praised for men asking direct questions and matching values quickly. In the Lamar Odom doc, the hosts argue “justice for the Kardashians” is needed because men want the lifestyle but can’t sustain the discipline, and women are unfairly blamed for protecting them.
Love on the Spectrum contestant Logan; Lamar Odom’s marriage rationale; Chloe allegedly protecting him during rehab and catching drug use; Maura Wilson documentary (untold) where an on/off boyfriend’s girlfriend is implicated in murders; Easter party hosting for ~50 people; “sleep at 65°F” vs thermostat Celsius arguments.
Written by AI. May contain mistakes.
The hosts discuss their experiences with holiday outfits and body image.
“I didn't get a good photo of my outfit, so I didn't want to post it.”
The hosts emphasize the role of gossip and communication in partnerships.
“I like you thinking this isn't going anywhere.”
The hosts introduce and discuss the concept of bird theory in relationships.
“And also, you cannot be successful without being disciplined.”
The hosts analyze dating behaviors seen in reality TV shows.
“She's heartbroken by this marriage of 20 years that fell apart and he just walked out for no reason.”
Explore the hosts' ideal home temperatures and cleaning preferences.
“If I'm going to bed, I'm putting it at 65.”
Discussion on their love for fried pickles, mozzarella sticks, and sharing appetizers.
“Okay, let's talk some more, but this time over some onion rings and chips and salsa.”
Insights into the hosts' Easter celebrations and family interactions.
“I'm really enjoying this show that Des recommended.”
Exploring how humor plays a role in social gatherings and the hosts' interactions.
“to arrive gifts we brought gifts you brought chocolate cover or chocolate bunnies yes chocolate bunnies some champagne and I think the biggest revelation of the day was my dad falling in love with Des.”
The hosts share amusing anecdotes from their Easter celebrations, including interactions with kids and reflections on parenting.
“Like, you know, when you see a certain face too long, the baby's like, seen this one.”
A discussion on Jessica Simpson's impact in fashion and pop culture, exploring her career and the comfort of her shoe line.
“So she tells me like what to buy and stuff vintage online.”
The hosts delve into a documentary about a tragic relationship, examining the implications of dating dynamics and societal pressures.
“Like they're just talking like and you're literally like oh I'm a plant.”
The hosts discuss societal pressures and personal experiences around marriage.
“I'm wearing a Shakespearean top, and so I felt I needed to say the word oppressor.”
Hosts share insights on personal growth and the evolution of confidence from their 20s to 30s.
“and I try to put words to why my 20s is hard so girls in their 20s listening could like be easier on themselves.”
Discussion on the problematic nature of the term 'girl's girl' and its implications.
“If we can never say it again that would be great.”
Exploration of the complexities of making friends in adulthood.
“And I really realized if you don't have girls in your life that make you laugh, like what do you do?”
Discussion on how rap music portrays the challenges of success and female experiences.
“get multiple drinks to like give your lore.”
The hosts brainstorm ideas for a reality show focused on the lives of nurses.
“And I think that they would have such a good reality show.”
A humorous take on the hosts' experiences with dating and relationship expectations.
“And then my dad is literally like, he made it or he didn't.”
Exploring the importance of humor and playful teasing in romantic relationships.
Discussing the minimal actual playtime in football and its commercial implications.
“and the rest is commercials and just like fucking around because they need to give people enough time to make bets and to just like consume like to eat food and to order stuff and to watch commercials.”
Delving into the complexities of sexual satisfaction and communication in relationships.
“And I was like, oh, my God, like, did you ever talk to him about it?”
Analyzing the unique dynamics of friendships with co-workers and how they impact personal life.
“And you know that he could get fired at any moment.”

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Automatic transcript. May contain errors.
0:00Hannah Berner: Today's episode is sponsored by Victoria's Secret, the iconic brand behind the world's most comfortable bras. And can we talk about the goddess effect for a second? Because some days I wake up feeling like a gremlin and then I put on the right bra and suddenly I'm texting people back. I'm standing taller, I have opinions, and that's power. I've been wearing the Dream Angels Wicked Bra from Victoria's Secret and first of all, we need to discuss. It's one of their best-selling bras, it has thousands of five-star reviews, and now I get why. The design is actually genius. It has this innovative sling that gives you lift without padding.
0:35Hannah Berner: So you're supported, but it feels light and comfortable. We love engineering. We love a thoughtful queen. And the lace, the embroidery, the new colors, it's romantic. It's confident. It's giving main character who has their life together, even if you absolutely do not. Enter your goddess era with a bra that feels as amazing as it looks. Visit a store or go to victoriasecret.com today. sup gigglers Gary fix the wifi manifest that shit we can't be managed
1:10Hannah Berner: I mean the day just got away from me
1:14Paige DeSorbo: hello my gobble ghoul gigglers we had an incredible family
1:20Hannah Berner: this was our first holiday together my family wasn't there but I'm just saying like in terms of us I feel like everyday is a holiday with you That's true.
1:29Paige DeSorbo: But how'd I do? You did amazing. I didn't get a good photo of my outfit, so I didn't want to post it. Because look, you guys, if I get the wrong angle, I didn't want you guys to get the wrong impression. And you posted like the cuntiest video, perfect lighting. And I didn't want people comparing me. Right. So I said, I'm going to just explain it with my words. But yeah, white capris, which by the way. I love a capri. I was on my period. Wow. But it was Easter. So you were. And I said, Christ has my back today.
1:59Hannah Berner: If there's any day he's looking out for me, it's today.
2:03Paige DeSorbo: And I wore my granny panties, my Tampax.
2:08Hannah Berner: This is actually so bad, especially for the sustainable girls. But I'll just flow and then throw that underwear away. That's what Amazon's for. Yeah, I'm just always ordering underwear. And you know what? I don't care. Can I say where I am in my marriage? Sure. Hannah arrived somewhere early and I was like are you okay are you still married like the only explanation I could think is like she's fighting with us and I was like no I'm literally on the
2:34Paige DeSorbo: phone with him talking about his knee right now so I'm when you're on your period you know it's it's reckless and whenever you go to the bathroom it's a whole thing and when Des and I are in a heavy you know gossip discussion you can't lose momentum and I was like really quickly I have to changed my i'm in the bathroom unplugging myself and he came in and he's in this bathroom yeah eye contact with me as i'm unplugging and putting it back in and then in a moment i was like
2:58Hannah Berner: he's a feminist like he's a supportive king he's literally handing me the tampon he was like do you need me to to wrap toilet paper around it and another thing no literally his eyes did not
3:08Paige DeSorbo: move from eye contact and i was like oh my god he loves me for me so um no being able to gossip
3:14Hannah Berner: with your partner is like really important very important like if they don't even if they don't care about what you're saying it's really important that they pretend my favorite is when des because
3:27Paige DeSorbo: des is honest with me sometimes he's like the story is taking too long it better be worth it yeah wrap it up lay on the plane i feel pressure and then when i do have a crazy ending to a gossip story and i'm like never doubt me again yeah because i like details i like building it up i I like you thinking this isn't going anywhere.
3:42Hannah Berner: Have you heard of the bird theory?
3:44Paige DeSorbo: Yes, I love the bird theory is very important.
3:46Hannah Berner: I think it's extremely true. Do you want to explain? If you haven't heard of it, it's if your partner says, hey, look at this. Like, hey, look at that bird outside the window. And if you don't look, the statistics of you guys staying together dwindle.
4:02Paige DeSorbo: Shout out to Love on the Spectrum, the best show on television right now. Did you watch it? I'm watching. You're watching it?
4:06Hannah Berner: I'm only like three episodes in, but I'm like. Logan. Which one is he? With the curly hair. That wore the velvet suit. Yes. I love him so much. What do you realize? No, when he said, you know what? I don't need curvy haired girls to be happy. Curly haired girls to be happy.
4:24Paige DeSorbo: No, but he kept saying curvy. Oh. But that's literally every man I've ever met. Like, when they're younger, they think they only like a certain type of girl. And then they, like, meet a girl who isn't like that. And they're like, wait, I made it up in my head what I like. Right. This one girl goes on a date, this Mormon girl, with a very cute man. Like, very cute. Like, the second I saw him, I was like, I'm good. He's good. Let's do this. Yeah. And at the end, she was like, I think we should just be friends. You remind me of my dad. And in that moment, I said, she has valent points. But I was like, but you just met this guy.
4:58Paige DeSorbo: Like, you've never been on a date before. Like, this guy's cute. And that's me being a little bit vapid and shallow, which I have been in the past. I didn't date a smart man until Des, so just remember that. And he's really smart. Des? Yeah. Scarily. Sometimes he knows things. I'm like, you shouldn't know that stuff. Yeah. I was kind of annoyed, not annoyed with her, but I was like, okay, I feel like you have two eggs in one basket, whatever the quote is. The next date, she meets a guy who does the impression she likes. He's really handsome. She's laughing the whole time. and I said we can learn from that yeah she said no to something that she knew she could have done yep if I told you if you said no to something that you're kind of accepting right now and there was something so beautiful on the other side of it wouldn't you say no immediately right and that's what we can learn from them because they're so honest they can't fake it we're we'll lie to ourselves be like no this guy's good enough this is this is what I need right now what if I told
5:53Hannah Berner: you your dreams were on the other side yeah what a good mental health moment to start off the pod
5:58Paige DeSorbo: But also their dates are literally asking each other their favorite colors their favorite hobbies And if they don't have the same hobbies, it's like let's move on
6:06Hannah Berner: It's the first time I've seen a man ask a question Like and I've watched a lot of dating shows before I'm like this is the first time they're interested
6:13Paige DeSorbo: No, I'm actually watching I turned to Des and I'm like you've never done that The level of romance these guys are bringing to the table is incredible And I like that they know instantly like nope not for me the relationships that have made me felt the worst are the ones where I'm like being myself and they don't acknowledge it or reciprocate yeah yeah like not in a jokey way like I like when they make fun of me jokingly but when you say something earnestly that interests you and they literally could not give a fuck did you watch the Lamar Odom doc oh girl wait why did I feel like I liked him less after like I went in being like he's feeling bad for him and then I was like oh no when I was
6:57Hannah Berner: watching it I I actually got so mad because I was like why are why aren't more people talking about this like justice for the Kardashians it was so evident I mean he said it no one wants to say
7:12Paige DeSorbo: justice for the Kardashians people would rather do anything than say justice for the truly it was so
7:18Hannah Berner: evident when he i mean he said it himself he was like i married her because i knew it would better my life i knew i wanted to live the way she lived which if a girl ever said that they'd be like you gold digging motherfucker especially because the whole rhetoric for years has been any guy that dates one of the kardashians like their career falls they like go crazy whatever i would argue
7:42Paige DeSorbo: the kardashians they're trying to fix these men and then they can't because you can't fix a man Well, it's so obvious that all of these men get with these women because of how disciplined they are, how successful they are.
7:55Hannah Berner: And also, you cannot be successful without being disciplined. So all of these guys that they've dated and have married that become drug addicts, yeah, they're not drug addicts. So you're not going to become successful.
8:08Paige DeSorbo: I literally saw him say, I saw her lifestyle. And I realized that's the kind of lifestyle I want to live.
8:14Hannah Berner: And none of them could, oh my God, if I had a frickin' nickel. These men want to be them. They want their lifestyle. But then they realize they can't actually put in the work to live their lifestyle.
8:30Paige DeSorbo: And then because Chloe loves him, she goes above and beyond to protect this man as he embarrasses himself and her. She still sticks by him.
8:40Hannah Berner: But yet she gets the hate of like, well, why would you protect him?
8:43Paige DeSorbo: and suddenly he's the hero where everyone's like justice for Lamar like like save Lamar and then everyone's like fuck Chloe while she's the one teaching him how to speak again I didn't realize
8:54Hannah Berner: that she was only 24 when they got married I didn't realize that either something hurt me in
8:59Paige DeSorbo: my heart yeah do you know she always called him Lammy yeah I thought it was so cute when he said
9:04Hannah Berner: it was weird he goes it was weird she called me that I said what how about she didn't want to do the spinoff and he wanted to do it oh my god she was like he loved the camera no these men that are so fame hungry her interviews were so honest i love her and just like not yeah she seems like such a good mom and friend and she just seems so nice what about the part where she said his dad came in and was like pulled the plug because he wanted the life insurance money and she was like what do you want and he wanted a pair of sneakers in a hotel room and she was like here now get the fuck out of here how in that alone you don't realize how like selfish some of these men are
9:47Paige DeSorbo: especially at the end when even like his kid was like i realized that my dad is like my son sometimes
9:52Hannah Berner: and he just hasn't developed and stuff i had no idea he has a full family a full family how about the kids being like no we're not coming to your wedding to be pawns yeah like to make you look good on a tv show when you're never around i gave his daughter a lot of credit and they love but
10:09Paige DeSorbo: they love villainizing the kardashians a lot of time like oh yeah what did she do like if what no they just were like what did chloe do to him that was what they always said you don't think
10:17Hannah Berner: she did to him and stay in the hospital for him i didn't realize even when they got out of the hospital he lived with her and she like rehabilitated him and then she caught him doing drugs again like she was like you have the aware with all enough to get a phone contact a drug dealer and get drugs like whenever men say like oh well we're just men we don't think of these little details that's a great example well you figured out how to get a phone and contact any
10:42Paige DeSorbo: drug dealer I'm also still I was gonna say reading the audiobook of strangers which I don't know if you should you'd be so pissed like you'd like punch a wall and break a nail which I don't want that for you but she has this like Gwyneth Paltrow waspy monotone voice that is really good to play right before you go to sleep. So I was playing it last night. She's heartbroken by this marriage of 20 years that fell apart and he just walked out for no reason. And there's more tea to it, obviously, which I recommend you listen on your own. But she said something incredible. She goes, I'm looking around the apartment after he'd taken all his stuff away.
11:20Paige DeSorbo: And she goes, and I'd been reminded of him in so many ways and how our life's intertwined together. And then I looked around and I realized everything in the apartment was mine. The art, the books, the furniture, the stuff I bought for my kids. She goes, was he ever there? No.
11:39Hannah Berner: I just got chills.
11:40Paige DeSorbo: There's nothing. Okay.
11:42Hannah Berner: One of my, this is so page coded too. One of my like things that will make me infuriated is like when we break up, don't keep wearing the clothes that I picked out. Like that was a persona I gave you. stop wearing the clothes I picked out and bought and acting like you put that outfit together enough with you like truly enough oh god I um but shout out to my husband who I love dearly
12:11Paige DeSorbo: we are having a little bit of a fight um because we're really not you know this middle spring weather where it's like hot and then it's cold you guys aren't aligned yesterday I was watching degrees in here he's like what are you talking about and i'm like i'm it's hell i'm living in hell right now and he's like what are you talking about and i go what is the temperature and i go and this motherfucker has an uncelsius because he's trying to confuse me he that's i would but you know my thing is i don't give a fuck what number is i know i want it at 21 and he keeps moving it to 24 i don't know what 24 means but i know it's too hot so then i go and i see it's at 24 when i know i put it at 21 earlier in the day so i go up to him i said you sneaky you sneaky sneak and he starts laughing he goes you don't even know what 24 is and i go i don't care it's too hot wait what is it i don't know wait i need to know he's putting it at 24 celsius wait anna i need to know what is 24 celsius because whatever it is it's too hot what is and then i put it to 21 and then i come back and he's so dramatic he puts on 75 okay that's so then i put it to i put it to 22 and then he i come back in the room he thinks he's funny he puts on a coat and he puts
13:26Hannah Berner: on because he says i'm freezing oh he'd hate my house but this is my thing i can't sleep
13:31Paige DeSorbo: in the heat like that so we're in this like war where i keep changing it and he keeps changing it and i keep changing it and he keeps changing it and pray for us if it's over 70 i'm premenopausal
13:43Hannah Berner: i think like i can't i literally i'm like i'll freak out i'm like i'm having a hot flash like i
13:48Paige DeSorbo: No, in the middle of just watching TV, I go, I can't do this anymore.
13:52Hannah Berner: Well, you know what happened to me? I saw one time somewhere that someone said it's really good for your skin to sleep in 65 degree weather at night. And so I'm 65. Yep. And I'm a sweaty person. Maybe. Okay. If I'm going to bed, I'm putting it at 65. When I wake up, maybe I'm pressing it up to 68. If it's a really cold day, I'm going 70. but my home is never over 70 degrees.
14:19Paige DeSorbo: And that's how I want an Italian's home to be. Cold, perfectly cleaned, smells like Lysol.
14:25Hannah Berner: Yep. I love when we're out to eat and you say those dangerous words. Can I say one more thing?
14:29Paige DeSorbo: We'll literally talk for hours. That's why I'm so excited that Bottomless Apps are back for$9.99 at Buffalo Wild Wings. And you know what that means? What does it mean? Bottomless the Apps.
14:39Hannah Berner: Wait, that's really cute. I know. And there's nothing we love more than talking about something that happened 10 years ago. And just like recalibrating it. Getting new information.
14:49Paige DeSorbo: This literally happened yesterday. I was like, hey, can I bring up this story that I've brought up too many times? And you said, that's what I'm here for.
14:56Hannah Berner: Yeah, look at it from a new perspective. I'm 33 now.
14:59Paige DeSorbo: Also, I hate when you're like yapping and then you run out of food and your yapping goes past your apping. Buffalo Wild Wings, their mozzarella sticks and their fried pickles are perfect. But at Buffalo Wild Wings, they call it Mott Sticks, which makes it even cuter. Cute. Before I let you eat the stick, I need to make sure that it pulls apart. It pulls apart the right way. So let's see. Let's watch. We got the camera.
15:22Hannah Berner: Yes, honey. Yes. Wait, that looks so good. Wait, I need. Oh. Oh. Like, I'm sorry.
15:36Paige DeSorbo: Fried cheese? Yeah. Never misses. Ever. Like our conversations. Always hits. Now, have you ever had a fried pickle before?
15:44Hannah Berner: I have.
15:45Paige DeSorbo: Fried pickles, I think, are for the girls. I love that you just immediately went for the sauce. You didn't even think twice. Oh, wow. A little kick.
15:52Hannah Berner: A little kick. If I'm going out to eat and someone says, let's just do apps and share a bunch, you're my friend for life. No one's like, can we just throw in one more app?
16:01Paige DeSorbo: Throw it in. Let's add one more thing to the conversation and one more app. Bottomless apps for$9.99 are back at Buffalo Wild Wings. Hell yeah. Okay, let's talk some more, but this time over some onion rings and chips and salsa. So crispy.
16:16Hannah Berner: Don't get me started with a chip and a salsa. We never get bored about making the same jokes because if a joke works, it's a classic. Sorry, I'm going to do it to everyone I know. Even if they're not even in on the joke. It's like an outfit. If you haven't worn it in front of certain people, that's a new outfit. And if they don't get it, you go, sorry, you had to be there. You win every time. You know, sometimes I go onion ring over fries.
16:40Paige DeSorbo: That's like your freaky side coming out. Also, onions are a vegetable. Salsa's a salad. This is a bowl of salad. This is really good. Like the seasoning to the chef. There's so many good things at Buffalo Wild Wings besides just the wings. Right. And lastly, I ordered the hatch queso and more fried pickles for you.
17:02Hannah Berner: Thank you so much. You know what I love? Something mini. So like when there's a mini pickle, I'm like adorable. Get in my mouth.
17:10Paige DeSorbo: I could drink that. Like soda. Chug it. We also never get sick of making fun of each other. I'll make the same jokes about your small little fingers. I mean, your thin.
17:21Hannah Berner: Yeah, how dare you? Your small thin. Gorgeous fingers. And I like making fun of you about just like any shoe choice. Or just any choice.
17:32Paige DeSorbo: Whether it's a girls night or a double date, there's always a reason to go to Buffalo Wild Wings. Bottom slaps for$9.99 are back at Buffalo Wild Wings. Limited time, dine-in only. See web or app for details. Can I be hypocrite for a second? Sure. I'm really enjoying this show that Des recommended. Now, Des and I also don't, it's hard for us to align on a show that we both love on the spectrum. That's like our thing. DTF St. Louis. Yeah. When Des first brought this up to me, I said, this sounds like a local cop show. My brother told me to watch it. I said, I don't like the title. It sounds stupid.
18:04Paige DeSorbo: It's on HBO. I said, okay.
18:06Hannah Berner: Jason Bateman and then David Harbour who see I love Jason Bateman I love his humor Jason Bateman
18:14Paige DeSorbo: is always playing Jason Bateman Jason Bateman is Jason is the Jennifer Aniston of men yeah but I love how I've been literally saying does David Harbour mean nothing to you
18:26Hannah Berner: no Lily Allen oh Lily Allen doesn't mean nothing to you wow he'd be so pissed to hear that sentence Does David Yeah No But this is my thing
18:36Paige DeSorbo: If the roles were reversed Mm-hmm And Lily Allen had like cheated on him Mm-hmm And like ruined their marriage Whatever Would she be starring in an HBO show Like three months after The album comes out
18:48Hannah Berner: Well you have to remember That it was probably filmed before Yes So they're not not airing it I wonder if they like held it for a bit The only time I feel like people Have standards on the internet is With women With women Yeah standards is a strong word it's more like projection yeah like nobody loves a woman's wrong more than a woman no it's kind of crazy okay let's talk about my tablescape i was waiting but anyway we've done the niceties let's talk about my tablescape yeah my mom the non-gigglers are gone no literally now that there's no non-gigglers my mom was so proud of me she i didn't tell her about the bunny chairs because i wanted her to be surprised and she was like very nice detail i don't know how people host and also cook aka my mom people host also cook and then socialize thanksgiving is such a big deal for our family because we host a thanksgiving eve party which is now the count is up to like 50 people so my mom and it's anyone who's who in Albany it's the who's who of of my dad's phone book okay it truly is my mom has that catered she has like bartenders but she stays up until everybody leaves so at like 1 a.m she's up she's cleaning up from it then she wakes up the next morning at like 7 a.m starts Thanksgiving cooks all of Thanksgiving hosts another like 15 to 20 people I was people got there at 10 a.m I was exhausted by 11 30.
20:25Hannah Berner: Paige. By 11 30 I was like okay let's wrap this up.
20:29Paige DeSorbo: Well when did you have it how did you set it up like what time in the morning?
20:33Hannah Berner: Tables and chairs got delivered at 8 so I decorated from like 8 to 9 and then I got ready from 9 to 10. And you got delivered at 9.
20:43Paige DeSorbo: You told us to come at 10 a.m which I thought was was early. Yes. It was early and Des and I got a little nervous so I my alarm went off at nine felt like the middle of the night I was I was it was Christmas morning I diced into my hair this was asking me about a shirt we we were the first ones
20:59Hannah Berner: to arrive gifts we brought gifts you brought chocolate cover or chocolate bunnies yes chocolate bunnies some champagne and I think the biggest revelation of the day was my dad falling in love with Des. I mean, he offended you a couple times. My dad literally looked at Hannah and goes, this guy's really funny. You should take him on tour. Hannah goes, fuck you.
21:25Paige DeSorbo: Well, he goes, yeah, you know, doesn't I just understand each other like they have their own little sense of humor. And I said, Gary, don't don't start with me right now. Don't start with
21:32Hannah Berner: me in this public gathering. But somebody at Easter came up to me and goes, you have your dad's exact personality. I said, how dare you? How dare you come into my home and disrespect me like that i go that guy's fucking out of his mind they were like you look like your mom but you act like
21:48Paige DeSorbo: your dad i was like get out that's i'm the same way except i kind of look like my dad
21:55Hannah Berner: but des and i we were there to entertain no my mom literally was like i feel like you hired hannah you hired two professional comedians to dabble in small talk you guys were moving around you were
22:08Paige DeSorbo: moving around the room you're doing different jokes at different stations yes well people have different types of humor that we need he was and i was telling him which stories to tell i said tell this story about the time he's coming in you guys were working off of each other hire hannah and des for your next bar bat mitzvah a speed 16. you had an outfit change into your pajamas yeah i had to everyone saw the look from every angle and then you went upstairs i was like I have to take my heels off. Came back in gorgeous pajamas. Des and I left around, I mean it was 10, we left at like two, like four hours and when I tell you I didn't even pee during that time.
22:43Paige DeSorbo: I was yap, yap, yapping.
22:45Hannah Berner: I took a three-hour nap. Hannah, everyone was out by three. I fell asleep for like an hour.
22:51Paige DeSorbo: I woke up didn't know what planet I was on. I said, and Des was like, we were a hit but it clearly was, you took too much out of you. I woke up at 6 p.m. My mom's like, hello, you have a family. happy easter no you guys did such good work well kim afterwards was like you guys was so entertaining you guys were so entertaining i said thank you kim that's all we wanted no it was so fun to be happy but it was so fun because i felt like you made the perfect um energy the aura was so right thank you you want to know what it was my feng shui
23:21Hannah Berner: your feng shui was perfect i felt like my feng shui everything worked you rounded the corner you It could go outside. There's drinks over here. I was really particular about the feng shui because I almost put the tables outside. But then I was like, it might be too hot. What if it rains a little? It's windy. And so then I did it inside and I felt like it turned out.
23:42Paige DeSorbo: It was because it was never one place where people were too crowded. Do you enjoy hosting or was this just performative? Or both? Performative.
23:50Hannah Berner: Like, are you like, can't we do this again? No, I liked it because, well, Easter is fun because everything's like pink and baby blue and yellow. So I liked decorating for Easter. No, I'll definitely like host more because it was fun. I don't like being stuck in a conversation for too long. And when you're the host, it's so easy to be like, I have to go say hi to this person. I have to go check on the turkey. I have to run. You can make up anything and they'll believe you. Anything. Be like, oh, the croquettes.
24:25Hannah Berner: i'm gonna start saying that when it doesn't even go oh sorry my croquettes are burning at one point
24:31Paige DeSorbo: you had so many tchotchkes around the house i literally was like you're about to be like bring out the dancing lobsters like it was so stimulating but so fun but also you had
24:38Hannah Berner: well then halfway into it i was like why the fuck didn't i hire an easter bunny well des was
24:44Paige DeSorbo: des was would have done it if we pushed him a little further if i thought of it earlier i would
24:49Hannah Berner: of how to do it. Also holidays having like kids around makes it so much better.
24:53Paige DeSorbo: Well yeah because whenever you want to be out of a conversation you're just like oh that kid's eating a shard of glass gotta go which they are. Yeah. So as someone who never prepares her outfits panics Revolve has saved my life so many times because delivery is so quick like two days and they curate the website so they tell me exactly like if I'm going on vacation if I'm going to dinner like what all the cool girls are wearing lately I've been buying like Helsa yeah a gold jeans
25:22Hannah Berner: I'm just obsessed with revolve you can't make a mistake and they also just introduced revolve LA which is like their own brand and it's so good there's like this one white dress that like immediately sold out that's like backless that I'm like really trying to get as someone who plans their outfits and knows exactly what's coming up I'm also obsessed with revolve because I last minute panic too because I'm like what if it's all wrong and let me just get these things just in case yeah the returns oh that's what it is that's what it is they give you the label you literally a stork comes in and takes it and the revolve la all of their dresses all their pieces just feel like modern but elevated like they have so much like backless stuff which I just think is so great for the summer and just like easy long dresses but like look cool what's something you recently wore from revolve i recently just ordered this like helsa yellow cardigan i love yellow right now it's so sweet and i feel like you can still wear it in like spring and summer like i always need like a little sweater so house is really good at like getting the yeah i love their tops and jackets so cute whether it's a girl's night a date or one of those i need to look hot but not like i tried too hard moments revolve always has it go to revolve.com slash giggly and use code Giggly for 15 % off your first order and definitely check out the new Revolve LA label while you're there.
26:44Hannah Berner: Fast shipping, easy returns, it just works. That's revolve.com slash Giggly. You can shop our faves and get 15 % off your first order. Offer ends April 21st so don't miss out.
26:58Hannah Berner: There's nothing I love more than spring outfits. I love spring miniskirts, spring sundresses, but the number one thing I hate is being on a spring break vacation and feeling bloated. And the only way to fight that is being consistent with your probiotics. I take probiotics and specifically Ritual Symbiotic Plus because all of Ritual's products are vegan, GMO-free, and tested for heavy metals and all common allergens. They're high quality, clean ingredients. I take probiotics every single morning. It's the one thing that I can actually stick to in my routine. It's a three-in-one with clinically studied pre, pro, and postbiotics.
27:36Hannah Berner: Ritual Symbiotic Plus is only one mint-scented capsule for bloat, gut, and regularity support. It's vegan-friendly and formulated without GMOs or major allergens. It's so easy to add into your routine, and then you never have to worry about bloat when you're putting on your sundress for the spring. Support a balanced gut microbiome with Ritual Symbiotic Plus. Save 25 % on your first month at ritual.com slash giggly. That's ritual.com slash giggly for 25 % off your first month. There's nothing I love more than treating myself. And I need to treat myself with a little treat, preferably something with chocolate.
28:15Hannah Berner: That's why I love cachava. When it hits around 3 p.m., all I can think about is like a cinnamon roll or chocolate covered espresso bean. If you haven't tried their new coffee flavor, you must. Cachava only uses premium decaffeinated coffee beans and it's so smooth and tastes so good and it's exactly what you need at 3 p.m. for your coffee pick-me-up and your little sweet treat. I love adding frozen blueberries to literally anything especially cachava. I love adding it to my yogurt and you can add anything to your cachava. I personally love the chocolate so sometimes I'll add a little peanut butter in there and then add the blueberries.
28:53Hannah Berner: It's so good. And if you want to pick what your sweet treat of the day is, they have chocolate, vanilla, chai, matcha, coconut acai, strawberry, and now coffee. Treat yourself to the flavor and nutrition your body craves. Go to cachava.com and use code Giggly for 15 % off your first order. That's cachava, K-A-C-H-A-V-A dot com with code Giggly.
29:18Paige DeSorbo: Also, you underestimated me. For what? there was a little baby yeah and i took the little baby and you at first were like oh my god are you
29:27Hannah Berner: okay no that wasn't me that was the mom mom was like is your friend okay i was like i don't know
29:38Paige DeSorbo: i don't know i love how the mom just met me and immediately was like don't know if i trust her with my child she's like please don't touch my child well look i mean no that baby loved you Yeah, because I don't have Botox, so I can make really funny faces. And the baby was loving. But then I had to get new material. Like, you know, when you see a certain face too long, the baby's like, seen this one. So I had so much fun with the babies. But it's because of, shout out, Lois and Bobby, that I feel comfortable holding a baby.
30:05Hannah Berner: There was a moment where I was like, I can't wait to have a daughter. Because there was a little girl at my Easter. She's like four years old. And I took my heels off at one point before I changed out of my dress. Just like popped my heels off. And she looked at me and she goes, um. what about your heels? And I was like, you know what? Fuck yeah. I was like, hell yeah, Georgina. I need to put my goddamn heels back on. This is a full outfit.
30:31Paige DeSorbo: Georgina fully bullied you at your own party. She goes, hell.
30:34Hannah Berner: And with a name like that, I expect it. She goes,
30:37Paige DeSorbo: is that a hair on your pinky toe?
30:39Hannah Berner: She was like,
30:40Paige DeSorbo: gross. No, Georgina is gorgeous and I love that name. Would read me to filth. Yeah. I was trying to avoid her because I kind of She was going to tear me apart. I was so scared of her. Talk about heels. Our Women in Stem of the Week.
30:56Hannah Berner: This is, I don't have the username, but. Now I'm on TikTok. I'm like, wow, that'd be a really good woman. You've got to write a tag.
31:04Paige DeSorbo: Because people are starting to tag the girls and be like, did you know you were Women in Stem of the Week by Hannah Burner? And they were like, who is that? And what's going on? Apparently, there's this thing that says, Jessica Simpson heels are the most comfortable heels in the game. Now, I haven't bought them, so I don't know. And I don't want you guys just buying stuff without us testing it first. But these girls are like, I've worn these heels all day. And I still feel good. So justice for Jessica Simpson. I'm trying to think if I still have any Jessica Simpson heels. Do you remember when she had her foot on all of our necks?
31:38Paige DeSorbo: Yeah. Is she a billionaire? She might be. I don't know, but do you remember her edible lotion? Yes.
31:46Hannah Berner: That's what started COVID. I feel like she was like one of she doesn't get enough credit for being one of the first celebrities to like have a shoe line have a like she did all of those things. She also is so naturally beautiful. I actually got fed on TikTok like her one of her music videos from like 2003. And when I was watching it, I didn't remember it until like I was fully and I was like, wait, I do remember all of these scenes. I remember wanting to recreate that outfit. Like she was such a pivotal pop star for me. Iconic.
32:21Paige DeSorbo: And it was at a time where like pretty women weren't allowed to be funny. So instead they were just like, she's really dumb. Yeah. She said dumb things, but she was just like fucking with Nick.
32:30Hannah Berner: But in reality, she's probably one of the smartest pop stars because she capitalized off of it so well. Yeah. Her Jessica, she has everything. They make jewelry. They make bags. Yeah. Anywho, we're big fans of her.
32:45Paige DeSorbo: Anyway, she's going through a divorce.
32:47Hannah Berner: is she i think she went through it well she was with a hockey guy so obviously
32:51Paige DeSorbo: are you sure yeah i'm 100 sure are you thinking of carrie underwood i've never thought about carrie underwood in my life it's never across my desk and woman stem of the week runner up yes this i follow all these pages about like vintage finds
33:12Hannah Berner: It's funny that we have a woman of some of the week and then you added runner up as if we always had a runner up.
33:18Paige DeSorbo: We do. So she tells me like what to buy and stuff vintage online. And she said, you know, it's the best thing to do for art. Go to thrift shops and buy kids art for like three dollars. She goes, no one can tell it's kids art. Yeah, they all look like really modern and cool. And I'm like, that is so genius. So next time you see the kids art, which is so sad, though, and like what parent was like, fuck my kids doodles. But I'm selling them. Someone's trash is another woman's treasure. Not men. Just art. Just art. Anyway, any final thoughts on Easter? I want you to revel in this moment.
33:55Hannah Berner: They did have a lot of really funny DMs from girls just being like, OK, love your look. It is giving Lego. But I did. And then I had this one girl. She's like, I'm not trying to be mean. But do you remember those candies when we were younger that came on like the piece of paper? Yes. And they were like the buttons. Yes. Yes. And she was like, it's giving yellow like button candy.
34:17Paige DeSorbo: By the way, those were so disgusting. Like it tastes like actual cardboard. And we really loved it.
34:22Hannah Berner: Like paper was still on it. I tasted the flavor. Like it tasted like yellow. Did you ever go through a phase where people said that you could eat the wrapper that gum comes in? Never mind. Okay. That was just my middle school. Never mind. actually I digress I didn't either you're like me neither me neither I really there were a lot of times I was like you can eat the paper
34:44Paige DeSorbo: I'm like no you can't I mean I've heard you could eat the shrimp tail I would never
34:48Hannah Berner: I have been off shrimp for a couple years really
34:53Paige DeSorbo: I don't think I ever told you the meat of the ocean really
34:56Hannah Berner: yeah like I feel like I ate too much shrimp cocktail and now I like really can't look at it when were you exposed to so much shrimp cocktail that you couldn't do it anymore like i went through a phase where like if it was on the menu i was getting it as my appetizer yeah and i feel like i got it like 50 times in a row and i just have also shrimp cocktails so cunty they're like this is gonna be in a cocktail cocktail glass and we're only giving you four
35:19Paige DeSorbo: yeah and like cocktail sauce yeah with a little worcestershire yeah how do you say it worcestershire
35:27Hannah Berner: worcestershire kitty was so like i didn't tell her that we were having a party was not happy And so she was like, okay. Like I wasn't aware that there was an assignment. Like, so she was. Forgot to tell her. Yeah, I didn't tell her. And so she's so my cat because when she hides, she will only hide in my closet. The only place she feels comfortable is surrounded by YSL heels, you know? And so she gets in like the corner of my closet.
35:56Paige DeSorbo: She was praying to Prada.
35:57Hannah Berner: No, literally praying to Prada. She was like, they'll never find me behind the long hanging dresses. And we didn't. And I didn't. And then like when people left, she crept out of my closet. And I was like, you gorgeous, gorgeous girl.
36:10Paige DeSorbo: Kitty does love people. I just want to like defend her. Yeah. It's just kids energy. Like the kids were chasing her. Yeah. And she was like, okay. Like I don't want to be hunted down on a Sunday. She's like, actually, I don't want to wear a crown right now. It's the Lord's Day. The funniest thing about cats is they will literally, the second they hear the door close of people leave that they don't like, they come out. Yeah. They know exactly what's going on She could feel the energy They know exactly who's leaving
36:35Hannah Berner: Like they're like Small doses with those people She was like my mom's napping somewhere I must find her Yes
36:40Paige DeSorbo: Another documentary Which is It's heavy It's heavy And I don't want to I don't know how I'm going to say it Without ruining what happened I mean By the way You guys These are documentaries I'm not giving away the ending They've happened already Right Again But fast forward If you don't want to hear this It's a Netflix About untold Maura Wilson Why do people who die why are they always the most spectacular people in the world we'll set the scene for us she was a skier so and then she got injured so i felt connected to her but she was like going to be professional hurt her acl became a biker of course she's like gorgeous funny probably does charity every day yeah like she's perfect and she gets involved with a man she's 25 again brain not fully formed and the man has an on again off again girlfriend and him and this girlfriend were known people always said oh yeah the girl that he never introduces to anyone which by the way I don't know if you've ever been that girl I was that girl once with this guy who like thought he was the shit interesting in a group he like never introduced me and I remember even and I'm vocal like never introduced you like when he was with his co-workers or whatever it was it was very like you were there
37:56Hannah Berner: Like invited you but wasn't like this is my girlfriend Hannah.
37:59Paige DeSorbo: Like they're just talking like and you're literally like oh I'm a plant. Like they're not treating you like you're human. And yes I was 25 at the time and yes I was like he was like important or something. But I remember feeling weird about it. Like once I remember he brought me somewhere and I was cracking some jokes. And when we got back he goes you were pretty confident back there. Yeah. And I remember thinking like oh this is not the man for me. so this girl starts seeing this guy who has an on-off girlfriend but he's like I'm single but then he stops responding to her blocks her at one point and she moves on but then he reaches out to her again he's basically wishy-washy and clearly lying to both girls do you have a moment
38:36Hannah Berner: when you date people that you're like there's a moment where you're like yeah I hate you it's
38:41Paige DeSorbo: funny with guys I've actually dated dated like full-on relationship I don't I haven't really hated any of them yeah because by the time I've I've like learned who they are as people I feel like they're good guys it's more the like situationship ones that I'm like oh you're sick yeah yeah yeah yeah we're guys I've fully dated I'm not even sad at the end because I'm like I've seen all of you and I understand this isn't right yeah but situationships you're like oh I've made you into something you're not you're actually the complete opposite and I'm at it myself for
39:11Hannah Berner: giving you the benefit of the doubt yeah I feel like every time I realize I hate them it's all like a similar situation and it's that like wow you were really like talkative with the group or something or like you were really one time a guy told I asked him I forget what we were even doing and I asked him like oh was that okay to say and I remember him saying like well you just like talked over everyone and everyone noticed it and I could tell that everyone was getting really pissed and I remember being like oh my god really and then like asking someone and the girl being like what the fuck are you talking about like no no one thought that and then me realizing in that moment where i was like wow i actually fucking hate you they're trying to make you smaller yeah
39:53Paige DeSorbo: they're trying to make you they're trying to dim your light as i like to say so long story short this is the part you can fast forward she gets murdered and it's not the guy it's a girlfriend wait i actually stopped listening his on and off again girlfriend murdered murdered her the old girlfriend murdered the new girlfriend and she wasn't even new girlfriend it was basically like this guy was kind of lying to both of them and one of the girls was clearly not mentally well
40:21Hannah Berner: like i don't say it lightly picking the wrong guy can kill you like it could literally like there are also like there are so many studies where women get into relationships and like develop autoimmune diseases like it truly can kill you it was funny because i was thinking
40:39Paige DeSorbo: about the Manosphere documentary and how they made a documentary about these men making other men hate women and then I'm like is there gonna be a Googly Square documentary about how we told all the girls they're gonna get autoimmune diseases if they talk to men no because you
40:51Hannah Berner: want to know what we're raising awareness in any type of society there's like a oppressor and the oppressed and there's like a whole thing about if you're the oppressed you know every single thing about who's oppressing you so us being like also we don't hate all men we like are in relationships we have sex with them like we love men yeah but being aware and knowing it's the whole thing of like we have to do all of these things to protect ourselves from them but we like a perfect example is like the bonnie blue like the girl that does all the like rage bait and like has sex with a million guys in one day or whatever never once do is there ever an article like well who are the guys like who are the guys that are standing in line to have sex with this one girl also if a guy had sex with 100 women in a day he'd be literally have a sculpture that's just like a football player in college like that's just like the captain of some team somewhere like that just I don't even know the Bonnie Blue stuff Again, because I don't know streamers Or any of that bullshit But I know that we've never once identified One man that's had sex with her I'd like to see all of their pictures Anyway, I don't know how we got
42:09Paige DeSorbo: I feel like this episode has gotten Kind of deep and stuff, but I kind of like it So I'm going to add on to it I was thinking about Well, I used the word oppressed We can't go back We've got to lean in Lean in, hashtag lean in.
42:23Hannah Berner: I'm wearing a Shakespearean top, and so I felt I needed to say the word oppressor. There's no denying that we're definitely at the age where you're either married, thinking about getting married, or just got married. Or maybe you're just a seasoned wedding guest. Your refrigerator cannot hold any more save the dates, so no matter what stage you're in, you need to use Zola. Zola is modern wedding planning for modern couples. With Zola, you can plan your entire wedding in one convenient place. Zola has every tool you need to make planning enjoyable from wedding websites and an instant registry that you can literally build with one click to building your budget and finding your team of vendors and venues.
43:05Hannah Berner: I'm a professional wedding guest and I feel like there's so many times I go to weddings and I make a mental checklist of exactly what I want and exactly what I don't want. And Zola truly makes it so easy from start to finish for everyone. Guests, the bride the groom it's like having a personal wedding planner just for you zola will have your back from day one till wedding day so start planning at zola.com that's z-o-l-a.com have you ever had a moment where you realized you needed help getting your finances under control well if so rocket money is a personal finance app that helps find and cancel your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps lower your bills so you can grow your savings.
43:50Hannah Berner: Rocket Money has tracked subscriptions and has the ability to cancel within the app with a few taps, saving time, and avoiding charges. Rocket Money also has automated savings that grow toward goals with adjustable amounts and frequency. Rocket Money can help you set budgets and goals, get personalized insights and regular reports, and receive real-time alerts for large transactions, upcoming bills, refunds, and low balances. Let Rocket Money help you reach your financial goals faster. Join rocketmoney.com slash giggly squad. That's rocketmoney.com slash giggly squad. Rocketmoney.com slash giggly squad.
44:30Hannah Berner: This show is sponsored by Liquid IV. I'm all about getting my 10K steps, but I also have to stay hydrated. And now that it's getting warmer outside, I double have to stay hydrated. You know we're not festival girls. but we still love Liquid IV and knowing that just one stick of 16 ounces of water hydrates you faster than water alone. Compared to water, Liquid IV delivers longer lasting hydration and retains hydration for up to four hours. So if we were to go to Coachella, we would be hydrated for four hours. Liquid IV has eight essential vitamins and nutrients. It's always non-GMO, vegan, gluten-free, dairy-free, and soy-free.
45:09Hannah Berner: You can explore the delicious sugar-free options like mandarin orange, rainbow sherbet, mango pineapple, and more. So soak up unforgettable memories with on-the-go hydration from Liquid IV. Tear, pour, and live more. Go to liquidiv.com and get 20 % off your first purchase with code giggly at checkout. That's 20 % off your first purchase with code giggly at liquidiv.com. This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Financial stress can affect far more than just your bank accounts. It can also take a serious toll on mental health, relationships, and 88 % of Americans are feeling some type of financial stress at the start of 2026.
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46:29Hannah Berner: When life feels overwhelming, therapy can help. Sign up and get 10 % off at betterhelp.com slash giggly squad. That's betterhelp.com slash giggly squad.
46:42Paige DeSorbo: I was thinking about how I love being in my 30s and I try to put words to why my 20s is hard so girls in their 20s listening could like be easier on themselves. Yeah. And I think I realized I am a perfectionist. I know I'm a type B perfectionist, so it's weird.
46:59Hannah Berner: You're 100 % a perfectionist.
47:01Paige DeSorbo: Thank you. Well, I have a little Virgo on my chart and no one talks about it.
47:03Hannah Berner: You get very like detailed oriented. You're like, what if we cut the clip two seconds prior? I'm like, shut up. Just post it.
47:12Paige DeSorbo: Like pages are like says yes to everything. And I'm like, we need to stop 0.01 seconds before this joke ends. But I was thinking about as a perfectionist in my 20s, every single thing that happened to me when it wouldn't go right, I was so upset and down on myself. And then I realized like the reason I love my 30s is because I've made all the mistakes already. so I'm not scared of making the mistakes because I'm like oh I've done this and I've messed up and it's gone well so and I also know the answer to things now because I've made the mistakes yeah so in your 20s you don't know the answers right so as a perfectionist in your 20s when something happens to you you go I don't know this and you try calling your mom you try googling it but it takes until your 30s to be to know the answer to things and actually feel good about where your
47:58Hannah Berner: 20s you feel bad because you made mistakes I think the biggest difference for me when I from 20s to 30s is 20s I always thought I was stupid like I would always just be like well obviously I'm not as smart as that person or like that person definitely knows way more than I do about whatever the situation is then when I got into my 30s I feel like I was like everyone's stupid wait you're really you're actually the dumb one and I'm 10 times smarter than you I was just a little bit more insecure about it.
48:28Paige DeSorbo: Any guy that says he's smart is dumb. Any guy that says he's a good guy is a bad guy. Yeah. Anyone who tries to tell you there's something is the opposite. Yeah.
48:37Hannah Berner: Yeah.
48:37Paige DeSorbo: So
48:37Hannah Berner: true. Also like this has nothing to do with it but I'm so fucking sick of the term girl's girl. If we can never say it again that would be great.
48:46Paige DeSorbo: It's kind of like girls weaponizing other girls in a way.
48:51Hannah Berner: It's just like another way to be like she's actually not a girl's girl. Actually, she is a girl's girl. It's like, what's the definition of it even anymore? Like, because to me, it was like just being nice to girls. Now it's like, but actually, if you go back, there's like, it's just I can't. I hate the phrase now. Yeah. I can't see it anymore.
49:13Paige DeSorbo: Yeah. And I think our podcast, people who love Giggly Squad are girls who love making other girls laugh. Yeah. And love the commonality of joking and girlhood. And having things in common, yeah. And having things in common. And I really realized if you don't have girls in your life that make you laugh, like what do you do? Try to connect with men? That sucks. I haven't connected with a man in years.
49:38Hannah Berner: If my good guy friends didn't get married, I probably still, I wouldn't still be friends with them, I feel like. No. Like I feel like when my, any like friendship I had with a male in my 20s is now such a different relationship because they're married and I am so much closer to their wives.
49:57Paige DeSorbo: Another thing that's hard about making friends though in your 30s is you have to start the story from the beginning if that makes sense. Like it's kind of fun but when you have a new friend but in your 30s you're like which chapter do we even start on? Like you need to get multiple drinks to like give your lore. I mean our lore is like I can't even I don't know if I can start over with someone. I need to like send them to someone to like give them the briefing before they get to me. One thing I like listening to rap music. Wow, what a change in direction. As driven women, nobody talks about it like rappers, about as you get successful, how many people start lying about you, coming for you, being mean to you, bullying you, and only rappers talk about it.
50:42Paige DeSorbo: Pop stars are like, love, love, but rappers are like, literally no one came from my neck until I started making money. like that and I'm literally like the amount of lies other girls can make up about you when you're
50:53Hannah Berner: doing well is so scary and crazy so how about this well because girls are so smart so they're like I know that people will hate her if they think this about her and so then they say it if a man's gonna make up a rumor about you it's gonna be like she had sex with and it's like okay like good one we're like if a girl's gonna make up a rumor about you it's layered she's done research yeah she's like yeah it's different and then you you can't address it no like bullying in
51:22Paige DeSorbo: an office setting is next level next level next level and even like places that you didn't think like nurses i've heard horrible stories no teachers the nurse lore i would actually love
51:34Hannah Berner: a reality show based around that would be insane they'd be like this character is dead oh my god no think about what a good like okay because people like love the pit yeah they love like is it girl coded though like Grey's Anatomy like I I also love a medical show you like you feel smarter when you watch it that's how I feel about law and order I'm like I'm a lawyer yeah um but nurses have said well nurses get such a bad rep too like oh nurses are so bitchy and like Well, they're tired. They haven't slept for years. And I think that they would have such a good reality show. Or even like a scripted show where it's, but it's just about the nurses.
52:16Hannah Berner: But how would they do it?
52:16Paige DeSorbo: They'd be like, producers would be like, hey, can you start a fight with someone? And she'd be like, yeah, that girl needs an IV or she's going to die. I can't like start a fight.
52:27Hannah Berner: No, they don't have to start a fight. But like, how good would it be if they're getting into it about something? It's like, okay, well, you didn't fill the chart out, right? it's like okay well maybe I didn't have to do your work and then it's like someone's coding in the other room they're like we'll get back to this yeah and then it's a cliffhanger next
52:42Paige DeSorbo: episode does she live or die yeah and I think there's like hierarchy in nurses yeah there is the new one yeah the new nurse well we watched that whole thing about the documentary about how all the nurses try to blame one of the nurses for like killing her people oh that baby yeah
52:59Hannah Berner: When we watched that, oh yeah. Yeah, that was dark. In British.
53:03Paige DeSorbo: Was it in? Oh yeah, it was in England. It was in England. They were speaking in British. I can't believe you know we've never been to England together.
53:10Hannah Berner: Is that crazy? Or Italy. The only time we've been outside of the country together is Canada. We've never been on a vacation together. Well, vacation was never our thing.
53:20Paige DeSorbo: Wait, we've never vacationed together. I mean, every day with you is a vacation. Yeah. But I actually was thinking about how I want to go to Sicily with you. Yeah, I would love that. I was talking to Kim about it.
53:29Hannah Berner: You don't have to come, but Kim and I are going. Why don't you just come on our... That is one thing I will say about my family. My holidays and my vacations are like, yeah, just come. Like anyone... You guys are very welcoming. Like we've met you guys three times. Come on our vacation. My mom has always been really big on like each holiday is unique. Like not every holiday is going to be the same. It's not going to always be the same people. So like random holidays, we will have random people and they might not come next year and they might not have been there the year before. But my Italy trip has truly turned into if you're in Italy, come have dinner with us as if we're like like Taylor is coming on my trip.
54:14Hannah Berner: Sierra came last summer and probably again this summer. You've had many Lucho's coming on my random boys in and out.
54:23Paige DeSorbo: my dad loved when i brought guys to like shelter island because he would do the boyfriend olympics yeah and you think it's a joke it's not he would just at one point be like you want to throw a ball outside and the guy would be like okay and they'd start with football and then they'd throw a baseball around and then next you know they're doing time sprints they're doing jumping verticals he's bringing to the beach they're racing they're throwing then they're throwing the frisbee in the Sorry for doing a decathlon. Full decathlon. And then my dad is literally like, he made it or he didn't. It's like, well, are you going to be able to protect my daughter if the world ends?
54:55Paige DeSorbo: Yes or no? Let's find out in the backyard. It's like, this is also why I love, like, big men is because I can throw a football. And I cannot explain to you guys how it feels to, I don't know how it feels to be with a man who can't throw a ball farther than you. But it's annoying. Have you ever dated a guy that doesn't, like, like sports? No. Even when I dated a musician, he was like an athlete too. But I'm annoying. I really am annoying with the sports guys. I've never dated a poet. I don't date fucking... Where are there just poets running around? In Brooklyn? In Brooklyn? I've never dated...
55:32Paige DeSorbo: I don't date the skinny artsy dudes. I've never dated a guy who was tatted up unless it was cool for his sport. Or he had a random cross because he needed it to win the football game.
55:43Hannah Berner: I've dated a couple guys that don't watch sports and what do they talk about not to sound like misogynistic I really don't I do prefer a guy that watches sports there's something about like
55:57Paige DeSorbo: their brain needs to be focused on something of structure or they're they're philanderers well
56:04Hannah Berner: it's kind of like it's kind of like babysitting where you're like there's a game on tonight
56:09Paige DeSorbo: perfect oh my god he's gonna be occupied the mets are starting 9 30 the mets are four hours
56:14Hannah Berner: and it's literally like he puts himself yeah in the room yeah i'm like but what if we turned on the game and i got you a snack put him down sat down and we were just quiet turn on the game put him down and yeah he's good i don't want you to have a lot in common with me it's less important
56:31Paige DeSorbo: that you have things in common more important that you have the same sense of humor about it
56:37Hannah Berner: yeah that's the tea um I need someone that's not afraid to make fun of me a lot of my boyfriends are scared of me so I'm like I need someone who's not afraid to be like you look dumb why do I feel
56:49Paige DeSorbo: like I need to sit them down and tell them how to like rip you to shreds yeah like that's in a
56:54Hannah Berner: charming way like god forbid god forbid we had a little back and forth I don't remember a moment
57:00Paige DeSorbo: that I didn't make fun of you like like the first day I met you because it's like do you even care
57:04Hannah Berner: about me if you're not making fun of me like no because it's at a level of comfortability where it's like yeah i can say that to her obviously she's not gonna get offended by it it takes me
57:13Paige DeSorbo: knowing about you and remembering details about you to make fun of you which means i care period yes done that's what it is can i say one thing about football that's gonna piss you off fine this girl on tiktok said that football games are actually only 11 to 18 minutes of actual playing and the rest is commercials and just like fucking around because they need to give people enough time to make bets and to just like consume like to eat food and to order stuff and to watch commercials. These guys are I mean yes it is like they're getting hit by a car all the time and they're never going to be able to like think the same because they have CD but it's really 11 to 18 minutes of actual play.
57:54Hannah Berner: And they act like it's just saving
57:57Paige DeSorbo: the world and not to shut out tennis but like these men are playing three out of five sets just out there for five hours even like baseball is like eight million hours long but they're not really moving a lot soccer they just add random time at the end of the game because like you guys haven't ran enough just four more minutes to just go wow that's very interesting about football
58:19Hannah Berner: very interesting so it's all just to sell things during the game i mean if you think about it if you ever go to like a stadium it's all ads all the way around it's all capitalism it's all capitalism
58:29Paige DeSorbo: i want to apologize to the academy because i actually am really annoying about talking about this this episode i never do this if you're a non-giggler like enough with this guy i never do this but he has a really funny joke that i need to tell and i'm gonna butcher it but he talks about
58:45Paige DeSorbo: how i'm gonna butcher okay going down on a girl is kind of like the end of a basketball game like when she says she's about to come it's like a basketball game saying there's only two minutes left there's actually not two minutes left and it's gonna take forever um so shout out to men in sports and men in the bedroom i hope you give women actual orgasms wait i was talking to one of
59:06Hannah Berner: my girlfriends actually she's not she's one of my girlfriend's girlfriends important yeah so she's like my friend-in-law girl's girl she was my friend-in-law so i like i don't really know her but I was with one of my friends and she was there whatever and she was talking about she had just recently broken up with her boyfriend and I was like oh my god like what just like asking normal questions about it and I don't know how one does but we got on the topic of like well how was your sex like was it good or not and she was like no like I never came not once like I used to fake it a lot mind you this girl is I think she was maybe like 26 25 26 whatever and I tried a nickel yeah No, literally.
59:44Hannah Berner: And I was like, oh, my God, like, did you ever talk to him about it? Or like, did you ever have conversations? Like, did he know you weren't coming or did he know you were ever faking it? And she was like, yes. One time I didn't fake it. And he and I was like, oh, I didn't come or something. And he said, yeah, all my girlfriends like have a really hard time coming. And I was like, oh, my God.
1:00:11Paige DeSorbo: He's like, for some reason, I'm attracted to girls that don't know how to cum.
1:00:15Hannah Berner: Yeah, he, like, put it all out. He was like, yeah, something weird happens, and, like, they have a really hard... And I was like, why would he say that?
1:00:23Paige DeSorbo: Why would he admit that? Have you ever hooked up with a guy, and immediately, when he's like, yeah, I had a girlfriend for, like, six years, and you're like, oh, you never made her cum. Yeah. And in your 20s, at least, like, it's less embarrassing to be like, hey, that's my thigh. Once you're here, stop moving. but when a guy's in his 30s you start to be like holy shit like no girl somehow girls when you get
1:00:46Hannah Berner: to the point where you're closing your eyes and picturing someone else yeah yeah like maybe you
1:00:50Paige DeSorbo: should leave or you're just like hey let mama handle this you're like mentally i have to shift into a new stratosphere right now because this continuum is like look some mcdella effect is
1:01:02Hannah Berner: happening but i have to leave my present body go somewhere else i'll be back in three seconds
1:01:07Paige DeSorbo: what's it called they say that you could like levitate you can go to a different realm or something that's what girls do all the time um your friends especially your best friend's boyfriend
1:01:19Hannah Berner: or husband that is your co-worker that is so fucking true and he works for mo
1:01:29Paige DeSorbo: not only is he my you don't know what he does you've heard from her what he's like in the office yeah um but you're not in meetings with him we're not on yeah we're not in the water
1:01:39Hannah Berner: at the water at the water fountain fountain you see him passing like going to the bathroom you
1:01:43Paige DeSorbo: can tell if he's like in a mood or not but that's pretty much it and then when you leave the company
1:01:48Hannah Berner: um you never speak to him he's also like kind of similar to like like your aunt's husband that she divorced but still comes to holidays like he's also kind of like that family member where it's Like, we don't see him a lot, but he's part of our family, but not blood related. Yes. And you know that he could get fired at any moment. Yeah. And that's the vibe.
1:02:10Paige DeSorbo: And if you've never saw him again or talked to him, you'd be like. Wouldn't affect anything. Yes. Yeah. A hundred percent. A hundred percent. Well, glad we figured that out. You guys, thank you so much for dealing with us. I have my last weekend of tour. I think we're done. Going to North Carolina. I know this weekend. North Carolina. Two more shows. If you're in North Carolina, I'll see you there. Just North Carolina? Just North Carolina. Okay. How are you? Bye.
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Hannah took a risk at Paige's Easter brunch.
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