Giggling about cortisol, choking, and bidets

0:15What's up, gigglers? gigglers we're back two episodes a week is like i'm in a k-hole i'm in a giggly k-hole i'm gonna be honest at first i was like are we gonna be able to do it we have crazy schedules we're tired we're like we have so many excuses for anything and it's i don't know how we weren't doing i have so much i have so we would forget things so by the time it was a week i'd be like starting from zero let me start oh you begin you haven't said anything about my god-awful hair color because it's made up in your head. Hannah, this top layer is black. You're no better than a man. I'm no better than a man.

0:54You really aren't. This top layer is black. She goes, I'm a dark, dark, dark brown, and this is light black. I'm a chestnut. You're a chestnut. I'm chestnut under here, and here is black. Why don't you just embrace your Megan Fox moment? You look like a Kardashian. Okay, fine. I have some hot takes. Okay. I'm so sick And tired And tired of motherfuckers When I'm in a public restroom Oh my god We're changing the name of this podcast To just Hannah shits My life is in the bathroom Hannah talks about and also her shitting My life is just one trip to the bathroom With breaks in between This is just a gripe I have That I need the public to know about What is with people Trying to break the fucking door down when it's clearly locked.

1:45Like, you know, there's two types of people when you don't know if it's open or not. Is this multiple stalls? Multiple stalls. This is also when it's just like you're in a coffee shop and there's one bathroom. When you go to check if it's locked or not, you don't need to fucking like have a full-time like kidnapping situation. Just lightly press it up and down. So you're saying the initial door they're banging on, not your stall door. But even the stall door, when they try to open it, It's like they aggressively, like if I push it hard enough, it'll pop open. Like just lightly push and you'll know if it's locked or not.

2:19I'm sitting there in a hostage situation. Someone banging the door down and it's like clearly it's locked. You put your leg up to keep the door. Yeah, that never happens to you where you're just having a peaceful poop. And out of nowhere, you're getting assaulted by someone trying to open the door. What happened to a light tap? That's never happened to me. Well, you don't go to public restrooms. no I have but I'm not in there long enough I feel like for people to be like what's going on in there so you're saying that no but I feel like I'll get called the manager at this point they're like someone something's going on in there someone's trapped but I I feel like I have bad luck where I'll be like okay this is my one time of solace during the day going in this restroom locking the door at peace and immediately someone's knocking and I'm like I just got here okay actually now i'm on the countdown i have a quick bathroom thing that might change your whole life i got a new toilet this toilet has a bidet it has a dryer the seat is heated it wipes your it essentially does yeah i don't think i can go back i can only go to the bathroom in this one specific toilet and that's it well they do say not using a bidet or not using like a wipe is like flossing without brushing your teeth.

3:38Well, now I'm like, why aren't these in everyone's home? This is disgusting. Because we're not Japan. Because America is behind. I started on my squatty potty. That's my favorite. You still have the squatty potty? Of course. I've had it for like six years. We go to the bathroom differently. Let me just tell you that. Honestly, you can - I've lit a candle. I have classical music. Put your phone on, do not disturb. Let go and let God. What a great way to start Friday episode. You were talking about something earlier, and I want to bring it back up because I had something to say about it. And it was Harry Styles.

4:13Yeah. What was your question? Well, I said, what do we think about Harry Styles? Because I have some Gen Z correspondents that tell me what's going on. He's coming back to MSG, tickets are like$1 ,000 each. I did an Amazon Live yesterday, and I had a girl write in like, oh, my God, are you going to get tickets to Harry Styles? And I was like, no. I didn't even know Harry Styles tickets went on sale. I didn't know. Does he have new music? I have no idea. Oh, he has a new album. This is the thing. We weren't One Direction girls. I'm not a fan. He's there Justin Timberlake before Justin Timberlake is what he is now.

4:48There's no one in the world I'm a fan enough of to stand in a queue. Okay, are you British now? No, because if you go on and you buy a Giggly Squad ticket, you're getting a Giggly Squad ticket. You're not fighting the other people. like i've never gone on i've never set a timer like ticket master is putting these on now let me go stand in the queue like virtually and wait what do i look like you know what i do respect though that he's like yeah i'll go on tour but i'm only doing it in one place you come to me i actually i think that's so efficient it's so fuck boy of him though be like come to my house or don't send me an uber at least my thing though is like with him dating zoe kravitz i would i I wouldn't have seen the jump from Channing Tatum to Harry Styles, but also none of my boyfriends have ever looked similar.

5:39See, all of mine look exactly the same. Oh my, oh my gosh. Wait, I've actually never. I want over 6 '2 with blue eyes and I'm done. We're good. I've never mentally looked at them all in a lineup, but yeah, mine is like. All over the place. And I mean, the range you have, babe, it's incredible. If you put mine all in a line, you'd be like, what weird circus. Anything similar. Definitely not sense of humor. Definitely not intelligence. Definitely not height. Definitely not. You know what I've reverted back to? The type of guys I dated in high school, which were my favorite kind. You bring it up every day.

6:16I know. Good morning to you and to my favorite boyfriend that I dated in high school. Well, honestly, that's like in TikTok where they're like, who was your crush when you were little and who's your current boyfriend? That's kind of what I've gone back to. My crush when I was little, like the first time I had like an experience where I was like, I think I want to have sex with this guy was in the movie. Ten Things I Hate About You. And it's not Heath Ledger. It's the other guy who's like the asshole, but he has like dark hair. What is his name? See, I'm Heath Ledger. That's why we're best friends.

6:52And that's that I would say was like my first sexual awakening. Did you like the guy in Bring It On who was the brother? First of all. No, I thought he was gay. At a young age, I go, you're gay. And you know why you're not obsessed with Harry Styles? Because he wears a scarf. Do you want to know why I didn't like that guy? He wrote her a song. You hate that? Oh, yeah, he had a guitar. And then she played it in a room. I was like, okay, unrealistic. This is disgusting. All my boyfriends are exactly the same, except some are more narcissistic than others. and I just had to find like a guy who had enough ego deaths.

7:31Very different personalities. None of your boyfriends have had the same personalities. Well, one thing I'm proud of women for is when they like have a gorgeous man and they're like, yeah, but he's boring. See, I could stay with a gorgeous man for years because I entertain myself. I just kind of need him to physically be there. I'm no better than a man. I'm just like, you are an accessory to me because I'm overwhelmed with what's going on with me. I don't need your own life coming into mine. My thing was, you would have thought I was trying to go into therapy for college with the type of men I've dated.

8:04And I feel like now I'm like, what's best for my cortisol? And that's how I'm picking. I feel like there needs to be a cortisol check when you're dating a guy. And if it goes over it, it's just women and STEM. It's just science. You can't date him because your unregulated nervous system. Your 20s, you're like always unregulated. But by your 30s, you're like, we need to regulate something. in the middle of the night thinking about something in my 30s i gotta get out of i hate to say this but like if i'm not eating at first it's fun at first you're like we're detoxing yeah but if if i can't eat that's a serious problem that's when my mom pulls me aside and she's like you didn't eat your bolognese the henna i know would have had seconds thirds and fourths the second i can't eat a pasta because there's a man in my life that's making me nauseous yeah i need to get rid of him see when that hits I'm like let me stay one more year really get this body right he's just got to not respond two more times and I'm at my goalie can I say one more thing about men yeah I had this epiphany with actually Ali on the road no men are assistants no straight men if you wanted an assistant and a straight man walked in the room you'd be like oh I'm looking for someone to help me men don't help you one time when i was like looking for assistance i like gave a criteria and they were like okay page that's illegal we can't there can't be an age range you can't say one gender i'm like she's like i'm just looking for a gemini i'm like no one over 30 gross i want them young and scared but the truth is like if you think about it like there's no male assistants i guess like i'm thinking about like wme the agency there are and you're always like okay well we're missing a lot of details in that email i don't know if i ever get emails from a guy assistant i'd i'd love the stats of how many male assistants they are and also how quick they get promoted i was just gonna say how quick they rise to like being an agent compared to the girls i mean a gay man assistant is great except i feel like he was judging me all the time yeah i could see that I almost hired a gay which I could use guy assistant yeah um wait I saw something on page six which like I rarely go on page six but sometimes I like to have a little a little goss but like I don't believe truly anything I read on there it's more like what are people's PR pushing yeah it's more like fan fiction it's more like oh that was a fun story to come up with yeah something sometimes I've read like full stories about myself and I've been like when did that happen but anyway so I go on page six because I was really looking for like more Victoria Beckham stuff because I can't get enough.

10:40This is definitely not true, but there's an article that says Nicola's dad, who is a billionaire, gives her$1 million a month as her allowance. I have so much respect. I just don't think it would be true. And then like the rest of the articles, like the Beckhams did not foresee like their son signing a prenup. They thought like it would obviously be the other way around. but I'm just thinking like what would you do what could one do with a million dollars a month I'm gonna say it not to be like too optimistic about life but more money more problems yeah totally like I had a friend who was really rich and her family was always fighting because like so-and-so got gifted a Lexus and she got gifted an Audi and and like this is what they're fighting about yeah and um to do a metaphor I don't know why I was thinking about this before I go to I went to sleep but how wow i can't wait to hear last night yeah last night i was in a k-hole i was thinking about the perspective of life marilyn monroe just a light just a light evening you think of light cute things as you go to sleep you're fucking adorable i've been reading my book well yeah because you're like trying to run away from something yeah there's something i haven't figured out what it is yet you're pretending I'm avoiding something you're like if I just try to learn how to read in this moment I won't remember all everything I regret in my entire life so I was thinking about two types of people yeah some person might get a diamond ring and another person as a gift yeah another person fully thought of this might get gifted a rock and how the person who got the ring might have no way you sat up in bed I swear to god that's what I was thinking about Set the scene though.

12:26Was the TV on and this was just like an inside thought? Or were you trying to fall asleep and you're like this? Did something spark this idea? I feel like sometimes when I go to sleep, I envision like I'm talking to you on Giggly Squad. Do you ever like work out bits? And I was like thinking about like what inspirational thing I'd want to say on Giggly Squad. I've never had an original experience. Ever. Well, because when I say something funny, I immediately put it in the perspective of me telling you on Giggly Squad. Do you know that I bought a shower notepad? Because there's so many times in the shower I'm like, I've got to tell Hannah this, but immediately you step out, you forget.

13:01And then you have self-hatred, and then you go on a spiral. I was wondering, I was thinking about when someone gets a ring, first of all, they might not like who gave them the ring. They might have wanted a different shape ring. They might not like the kind of ring. They wanted a lab, and they got an out, whatever. But how sometimes people will get a rock, and they love the person who gave it to them, and the rock is actually meaningful for some reason, and there's like an inside joke or a meaningful thing and how some people are happier with a rock than a ring. Not me.

13:33And that was Mel Robbins. My mom always said, actually, I don't know if my mom said this. Anyway, I heard a quote like years ago that I always remembered. I think I like heard it in college. That was, I rather love on a bike than cry in a limo. And I always thought, not me. Your mom also said Don't marry for money Or you're gonna You'll work for it every day Work for it every day Which is true I've also never been In this situation To marry Because I also think I would do that as well I'm exhausted I did not foresee This for myself I'm actually pissed At my own confidence Okay I really got myself In a pickle A lot of times I could be in a house Right now In my I don't even want to talk about it There's so many different houses I could be in right now And you want to know where I am?

14:27Here But you want to know how I'm peaceful I'm your rock I'm your ugly little rock You're my rock

14:40Do you know how many comments I've seen On the internet Paige and Hannah aren't really friends You want to know what people don't realize about us and our friendship and our personalities in general yeah maybe we have different interests maybe hannah comes looking like a sex therapist sometimes wear your glasses put your glasses on he can't see without his glasses um i'm obsessed no hannah when she sat down literally leaned over to me and it felt like she was gonna be like so you're not orgasming that's a problem so what are thinking about when he's on top that's actually a phenomenal question and sometimes a lot of stuff also let's normalize more men going on top

15:26why are women going on top like we already income tax anyway continue yeah i honestly think we've done such a good job because one thing the internet loves is pitting women against each other and I think oh I remember yeah if I just say pitting women against each other you're like yeah I'm I'm clocked in people don't realize that we have such similar personalities yeah in terms of like our core values and our at our core stance I would say our mantra for living is I don't care oh like we don't care our the depth of our friendship we are literally the same yeah So like if we were to even get in a fight about something, we'd have to try really hard to care.

16:13Because I get really nice messages about us sometimes. And they're like, oh, that's called like unconditional love. Where like even if you're upset at each other, you know it's coming from a it's not coming from a bad place. Right. Also, this is a little controversial, but people know us from our friendship from a reality TV show. And I'm just going to tell a story. And I might get in trouble, but I just want to tell a story. there was a situation where like you have to realize that I know all your stories but I get ready like I know you know you can tell the story that did not happen like you were there on reality tv like friendships are part of the storyline friendship breaks up support the storyline they want to see who's closer to who whatever yeah let me just give you a day in the life of shooting a reality TV show, there was an episode where one of the girls who I loved was sobbing about something.

17:08And me and you were distraught and we were like, we have to comfort her. We both go run to comfort her. A producer literally puts his arm in front of me, like tackles me. And he said, no, let Paige handle this. And I'm like, but that's my good friend. And I want to be there. And I realized now like, oh, they want to show like two people being closer than someone else and in the moment you feel like helpless or you feel like okay this might look people might not be mad at me that I'm not like comforting someone but um what you see on those shows is what they want you to see and the friendships on those shows also I keep forgetting that that's our origin story our origin story yeah you have to understand like the root of it yeah where things come from when people see us know it's just from Giggly Squad yeah they're best friends also I think there's a lot of politics that I wasn't always good at with reality tv of like keeping people sweet where like you just like get along with them for the sake of it yeah so that's my like two cents on friendships um and us this is what it's like living with a man he was drinking water and it went down the wrong pipe went on for two hours like to the point that I started laughing because like he was choking to death and i was like can you order uber eats like right before you choke to death i just have like one more thing i want to add to it yeah but but then i started feeling bad for him because people don't talk about how traumatizing something going down the wrong pipe is because you're choking to death right but everyone knows you're not going to die right so no one helps you but you're still fully choking to death what was the two hours of like when you say it lasted for two hours like he was clearing his throat for two hours or he was just talking about how he almost died it was clearing his throat like it was like like you know when you just can't get it out right now not fully recovered yeah i'm like i can't help and also like he's fine but he's not you know what's crazy too is that like women women just um obviously we have a higher pain tolerance that's why we bear children you know like that i don't know how anyone can even like argue that it's like okay but we push a watermelon out of something that's the size of a peanut mine is smaller but yeah and then the peanut grow to get like that alone is scientific i do have to say though stubbing your toe i've been shot you know what i was gonna it's funny that you say that because i was gonna say and i'm obviously getting a c-section it came to what fucking world like what are you allowed to be like give me a c-section i mean actually i don't know check the amendments i actually have no fucking idea um i have heard like a lot of when women say um that they've asked for c-sections and their doctors have been like no because it is like you're cutting your abs in half yes but then i did have a girlfriend say my gynecologist had a c-section all the gynecologists in that group had a c-section I'm getting a c-section now I think it's just like a longer obvious recovery and like you do have a scar I just don't I know in myself I'm not built I don't have the hips wait did I tell you on stage I've been talking about like should I have a baby and I talk about like how you're like freeze your eggs whatever like a little and someone raises their hand I'm like who thinks I should have kids and normally they're like you'd be a great mom or like it's it's good material this girl said the most genius thing she goes your long torso can handle it you also have good hips I have good hips I have a lot of space like I think I might be one of those girls who like yeah have two abs on top i think i have to get abs first but like wait that actually just made me scared i started to get worried about you because i have the shortest torso in america you have a shortest torso long gorgeous legs where's the baby gonna go imagine i had twins do you imagine do you want me to surrogate for you because i'll have room i'll have your baby and my baby could you make could that happen that would be so fucking cute i feel like that like could happen anyway we're not gonna get into it we're not gonna get into the science of it all I didn't think about that like yeah you probably will carry you'll be more comfortable than I will be I mean we'll see you never know but I do know like I have I just know I'm gonna fucking punt it out of me like I'm like yeah like an athlete like I'm ready to just I love how we're nowhere near pregnant by the way I'm gonna cry the whole time I'm like I actually decided I can't do it I don't want to do it and people get scared about like having the baby but then I also feel like it'll feel like puking like you know when you're like it's gonna suck but it's gonna feel so fucking good after like that's how i see it you're just like pull the trigger you can rally just get it out pop it out and rally wait i do feel like last thing about babies because it's just like a hypothetical i do feel like you will be in the room when i give birth and you'll be like okay we don't even know this girl yet though like we have to be careful like we don't really even know that immediately i'm gonna be like do you think she likes me do you think he likes me You were going to be like, so are you guys closer than we are?

22:23Yeah, I'm like, I don't, she'd give you a weird look. She's kind of making it all about her right now, and you just had a really traumatizing time, and she's trying to cry. I put a bow on her, and you're like, so you're already gifting her, got it. Wait, why did I just envision you putting a bow on one hair at the top of your baby's head and being like, perfect. Yeah, I will. I've already thought about the mini little butterfly clips that I could do a little ponytail with. Because I'm going to bedazzle it. I can't believe you couldn't notice my hair. I can't even look at myself in the head. There is like lighting happening in the room.

22:52No, this, no, it's my hair. That's what, it looks crazy. Well, whatever you look doesn't look worse. What? Like it doesn't look bad. Oh, okay. I'm not like, whoa, that's bad. Oh, okay, I am, but whatever. Okay, what were you going to say? I cut you off. Okay, so I don't want to compare our cats because they're both perfect. Yeah. But Butter is a little more slender. Yes. Like Butter's tiny. She's the run to the litter. And Butter is a model. Daphne's an actress. Yes. But Daphne also, I would love to see her shaven because she's probably like actually, I mean Do you want her mom to get a pixie cut?

23:32You want to shave my daughter? It feels, it's I get what people on the internet are saying. You hate me. She has so much fluff. She's a little fluffernutter. Yeah, like you'd like to see what her real body Yeah, like when I pet her, I don't feel her body. It's crazy. Where butter, like you're immediately like, and that's your rib. Yeah. So Butterball, one of her favorite things to do, which Daphne would love to do if she could. She hides in little places. Like, remember Daphne was hiding, and, like, you see her entire, like, bottom half of her body from under the table. I love when she does that.

24:04It's so cute. She thinks she's slick. So today we got a new, like, cabinet for the bathroom, and I was looking for my toothbrush. I open one of the drawers. butter comes flying out i don't know how she got how the hell did she get in the drawer she can open cabinet like she can open things you ever like have one of those bathroom cabinets where when you open it there's like a hole in the underneath there's like a hole somewhere okay she slithered away in she scared the shit out of me i scared the shit out of her we both went we both yelled dez is like what's going on i'm busy choking to death we had a crazy morning but like at any time your cat could be like in the fridge like people don't talk about that enough with having cats like they literally see a room and they're like i will find the one hiding people always think they lose their cat honestly not daphne no well poor girl can't she can't she can't fit in that crevice she maybe she'd like to but she's like cats can contort their bodies she's designer so like you don't contort it yeah she's trying to put a birkin like in a suitcase and crumbling it up.

25:14Yeah, you're not going to smush it. You can't smush it. You'll hurt the leather. Yes, that's what Daphne is. I was just going to say, I don't know why I'm asking you this, which is such a mean way to start this sentence. Give it to me. But I feel like I'm always like looking for new jeans. You go, this is more just towards the ether. This isn't towards you. Actually, don't answer this. Like, no matter what day of the week it is, no matter what season it is, I'm always like, I have no pants. Yes. I'm like, I hate my, I always hate my jeans. Even if I see a girl wearing a pair of jeans and I'm like, yes, that's exactly what I'm looking for.

25:49And it looks good with the outfit. And you order those jeans, then I get them and I'm like, I fucking hate these jeans. Well, depending on your body type, it's a whole thing. Also, I don't know about you, but when I shop, I shop for tops. Shopping for pants is like a like, that's like getting new shoes. Not new shoes. That's like getting a new house. Yeah, no, it's a big commitment. Yeah, like trying on pants. Also, I feel like I don't want as many pants as I have tops. Here's what I also do. I feel like I'm always ordering pants. I'm trying them on and I'm returning them. Yeah, because I feel like you can deal with kind of an uncomfy top.

26:21But if your pants are uncomfortable, like you can't run. I'm just I'm having I'm just having a pant problem. Well, my brand jeans are your go to. So I love Abercrombie and Fitch. I love Madewell for just like good jeans. They're not too stiff. Like I can't always fit into like vintage stiff jeans. I'm obsessed. That's what I'm looking for. I'm looking for like a stiff, poppy jean. I can't. It's not going past my thighs. I love Agold. Agoldi? Yeah. I love their barrel jean. Okay. I'm obsessed with their barrel jean. Everyone compliments me on it. I don't know if it's just like. Do you want to know the jeans I've been wearing the most?

27:04What? I have these like black jeans from Mango. Great. It actually pisses me off because I'm like, these were the least expensive of all the jeans that I'm looking at. I have a pair. I don't know why I did this. I literally got bullied into buying a pair of Kate jeans. I hate them. First of all, I don't have a torso. So anything that goes like above my belly button. It's on your nipple. Yeah, I'm like, okay, so jeans are the whole outfit. Like, I guess I'll put a bandeau on. Like, I look ridiculous. I cannot with expensive things that are worse than cheap things like it makes me that's my thing that annoys me the most is I bought them I put them on and I was like yeah no and then I had people being like no you're gonna wear them so no they're like the perfect jean you have to keep them and then I kept these jeans and I'm like this was the biggest waste of money and this was two years ago and I still look at these jeans and I'm like fuck you that's like when someone pressures you to order something like expensive on the menu and they're like it's so worth it it's what they're known for and then you get it and it tastes like shit and you're like i just want the cheeseburger yeah i just want the cheeseburger why did i get this pasta that has all this weird shit in it when it's out i'm ordering a grilled cheese sandwich what you'd never go wrong if you're ever one of my biggest feelings that i hate is when you're hungry but you don't know what to eat never happens to me but yeah wait really i'm like a pregnant woman i know every time what i want i'm very you're never like walking around the kitchen at like 7 p.m and you're like what do I even feel like well I've never been in a kitchen first of all um no I always know it's like my it's like my that's your like calling your superpower that's my superpower like I also wanted to make an app that's like you know you go into Uber Eats and either you want like one specific dish like you're like I need eggplant parmesan yeah but I want like to see all the eggplant parmesan's not just like the random restaurants but also put in like do you want sweet do you want savory do you want vegetable like put more general things and then it like gives you like more specific recommendations because like deciding what you're going to eat every day gives people a lot of anxiety okay i low-key wish that like when you went on uber eats you could have friends and then you could see what they were eating oh my god like i want to be an uber eats influencer yeah i would i'd be like guys no i think they should do this is a How many times are you like, okay, same thing with like Netflix.

29:29I wish I could go onto my Netflix and I could have friends and I could just see what they were watching. So I could be like, oh my God, I didn't, I forgot about that show. Maybe it's like an app. See, we like to come up with business ideas on this. Maybe it's like an app of like called taste where it's everyone's taste. Oh, you've heard the name. I have the logo. It's in the works right now. Just Daphne's taste. Wait, and it's your taste for all genres. Everything. So it's all in one place. So then you see like what people are eating and everything can like what you're listening to, what you're eating, what you're watching.

30:04And wait, we might have to cut this out because we need to trademark. We need to do this. That's a brilliant idea. Because also, let's be honest, word of mouth is what works. Not people like not a television commercial. You're not suddenly going to be like, oh, I need to eat that tonight. Unless it's Kinder chocolate, then absolutely. Which, by the way, is still waiting for my shipment. haven't found it yet i'm like i better have a fucking year supply of kinder because i love that shit you remember how i was talking about with your closet how there's all these clothes that you like but you never wear yeah and i don't know what to do with them because they're starting to build up someone had genius advice she was like if you're on the fence force yourself to try it on and you'll know because you know that stuff that you're just like it's always there it looks cute all my pants like getting dressed in the morning i'm like okay i have great jackets i have really cool tops i can accessorize this with cool belts and then i get to the bottom half and i'm like what are we doing here see my toxic trait is i'll wear a jean for weeks the same jean yeah yeah i can you just rotate i can picture your favorite pair of jeans in my head yeah but also this is why I love a set you love a set it helps you come up with the whole outfit and I love monochromatic stuff which leads me to another thought I was thinking about Kim Kardashian's skims I'm always thinking about her and like honestly she's beyond crushing it like if she was a man wait do you know that I downloaded and bought the subscription to Masterclass just because I wanted to listen to hers but they have so many yeah Amy Poehler has one They have so many really good ones.

31:46I actually think it's worth the subscription if you want to learn about a specific thing. If you want to better yourself. No, not really. No, but what does she talk about on it? Because she could talk about so many things. I just have the subscription. Do you know how people don't call out, which is iconic and you and me, we would love this? Yeah. Kanye had Yeezy, right? Yeah. And if you remember like the fashion shows, it was very like monochromatic and like he had like crazy shoes. She definitely like learned from being with him. Oh, that's like a whole lore thing. Well, because Skims is literally like if Yeezy was mainstream successful and for women.

32:31Well, she talks. She's talked about that. How it inspired her. That like when they started dating, he 100 percent did a whole overhaul of her style. Yeah. And that like she wasn't taken seriously by any like major fashion like publications like Vogue. Like Vogue would never put her on the cover. Like the first time she was on the cover was with him. Yeah. So I think and she had a video the other day or something. I don't know where she was and she was wearing an outfit and she was like wearing Yeezy heels from years ago. And she was like they truly are the best shoes. Yeah. So he definitely. I definitely think.

33:09like influence if your man isn't good for you at least look through what he's done in his life and pull anything you can learn from it and then use it against him later i'm trying to think if i've dated anyone that they've influenced any part of like my style oh oh what a good of my life wait so you have you ever changed your style though based on the vibe because a lot of celebrities well you know like Bella Hadid is when is when with like the alligator hunter no that's Lana Del Rey Bella Hadid was with the cowboy the cowboy and she definitely oh did they oh my god okay because I was gonna say the last like three paparazzi pictures I was like these are great outfits where the fuck have you been also she's working she's back working I don't want to blame the man I don't want to blame the man maybe she was just having stuck in a rodeo somewhere i was like what are we doing the only time a man's ever like kind of tried to inspire my style is when they'll see like a sexy dress or a sexy top and they're like why don't you wear that and i'm like because i don't want to and it's not comfortable the only time a man has inspired my style is i was in my early 20s and i had a guy being like don't wear that wear this like you should wear and then i realized i was in fact in an abusive relationship you're like okay this is a paper bag over my head what do you mean wear this the first couple months i was like okay yeah i like this maxi dress i can wear this i love turtleneck sweaters four months in my mom goes you look ridiculous you look like a clown what are you wearing did you see the tweet that made me think of you when people go who is this clown is the best thing to say because first of all you're calling someone a clown but then you're also saying they're not even famous enough to be a well-known clown you say who is this clown just like as an insult to anyone like you've said that before i've definitely said that to a guy before like i do know that i've i have influenced every single guy i've dated style in like a nice way that's like i like doing that stuff and so and i have ideas and i really never got that much pushback i mean a couple times where they were like that's my favorite sandal yeah like i hate you and i'm like okay but you look better like hate me all the way to the photo shoot hate me after the reviews come in okay no truly hate me after you go viral i think i have to be a little more subtle because i'm not like mrs fashion also i'm not like passionate about men's fashion okay but if i dated you and you and i said hey um do you think this joke is funny and you gave me your literal opinion and you're like no i would take that as okay well she knows also speaking of dating me there's also a lure of the internet that is convinced that like we are lesbian lovers but like in a non-sexual marriage and like a lot of lesbians just listen to our pod as a lesbian podcast they're like it's our favorite lesbian podcast thank god and i said that is actually what we've been trying to put out there what we've set out to do yes so in terms of fashion Des as you guys know He's lived a long life before me He's had a lot of influences And he has a way about him And it's hard to teach an old dog new tricks Also You have to do it subtly Now Des famously loves Wearing suits when he Performs And he looks so handsome in them But this is what he's been doing for a long time I did get rid of some of his He had like a floral shirt that was annoying me that somehow got out of the rotation.

36:49I don't know how. Maybe my mom got rid of it. I don't know. I actually feel like I know what florals are you talking about. Was it navy blue? Yeah, there's also a purple one. He loved it. Because that was him having fun, you know? But recently, as you guys know, I love Lululemon. And I just was like, let's go to Lululemon and do... Their men's stuff is amazing. So he grabbed some stuff. Well, I love a man and a jogger. Oh, yes. And then there was like this adorable gagler helping him shop. And I was like, Des, do you want me to help you pick things? He was like, I got this. I'm like, okay. So I looked at the Giggler and I was like, you got this for me?

37:24And he was like, don't worry, babe. So he held his hand through the whole thing. And Des has naturally a good sense of style. He just got stuck in this, like, I wear tuxedos on stage. So if you look at his most recent videos, he's wearing the best Lululemon bomber jacket. People have been commenting, like, Des, you look so good, da-da-da. And if he hears this, he's going to be like, you know this was all me. I was working hard in the background Yeah you were The puppeteer I'm gardening I'm gardening Finally it's become a flower So I think I'm similar to you Just less like to his face Yeah But and also he does ask my opinion about stuff And he can tell when I don't like love something And he'll take it into consideration The only thing that stops me from doing that Sometimes with boyfriends Is because I'm like This is like a little sinister in my head I'm like I'm obviously getting out of here at some point um and the fact that you're gonna take this on with you when I gave you this like confidence annoys me yep you know yeah where I'm like I almost don't want to teach you all my tricks because you're gonna act like they are yours which I've seen happen so many times but you also don't want him to use it against other women in the future to trick them that he's the kind of guy that he isn't just because he's wearing that kind of shirt that you put him in.

38:44I don't know what you just said, but I freaking concur. I had an embarrassing plane moment. What happened? Oh my God. I was flying Alaska. Flying Alaska? Out of Seattle, Alaska is like very popular. No way. And it was when all the flights were getting canceled. So I booked an Alaska flight and I felt like so good. I'm going to get into New York. I know you to be like flying in the eye of the storm. Yeah. And I'm like, give me a fucking, I find an aisle seat. I'm in. So I go to the lady at the desk, security. And she's like, we don't have you down for this flight. Did it get canceled? And I'm like, I don't know.

39:23I didn't get notified. And I'm like, here's my ticket. I have a ticket. And she's like, it's not coming up in my system. What? 30 minutes until boarding, right? So I have to walk all the way to the Alaska desk. It's chaos. And I'm waiting in a line. And you know when like, you're like, I'm going to miss this flight. find another lady who's just walking around and I'm like I have a I have a ticket I don't know why I can't get on I've cried at Newark before the two times I cry are sports documentaries an airplane an airport because in that moment you feel like people are sabotaging you you're like I have a ticket she didn't let me in I almost missed my flight to Fiji and I was there like three hours prior just because I couldn't find the gate why I'm do I feel like I'm so strong dealing with adversity like anything can happen to me and I'm like I'll overcome this but like one thing goes wrong at the airport and i'm like i'm never gonna see my mom again no one's around no one works at the airport they have this thing where at some point they're just like yeah you can't get on like there's there's bigger rules there are times where they're like this is actually above my pay grade so i have no idea they're always like yeah like i want to help you but the computer says no like that's what they're always like you know you're on that's like the time my teresa the website blocked me from ever ordering from there and i and they said sorry you're in the system that you can't order from here and so i got on the internet immediately i have amazing taste in their dms and i'm like why can't i order from there like i've never even returned something to you guys yeah they're like sorry sometimes it just randomly goes and our name will go in the system and it gets blocked and i'm like okay can you go in the system and unblock it and they're like no and i'm like but you're the system you're the system anyway i can order from there now it lasted like six months um so i this lady walks me back to the same security okay and she's like let's try it again and i'm like this is not gonna work it's like 10 minutes till boarding and suddenly it works and i'm like so was i gonna miss the flight because of someone's system anyway i digress i get on and i have like 30 minutes and i'm like you know what i'm gonna do i'm trying to cancel a health insurance to go to a new health insurance because as you guys know we're when you have your own business in the burner bishop home also we like yeah we have to pay for we have to find our own insurance i don't know actually i don't know we have to get it we have to have it we have to pay for it so i call and i'm like i have to cancel and they were like oh you can't cancel through us you have to cancel through new york state of health i was like okay call new york state of health oh you're doing this on the phone on the plane on the plane because you know i'm like you're like if I do it, if I do it on the plane, it's like productive.

41:54We're like, if I do it during my free time, I'm like, this is ruining my life. Yeah. So I'm like, I'm already crying at the airport. I might as well just double down. Wait, I think the same way. I'm going to be doing something miserable. Why not? Pile it on. Pile it on, babe. Like anytime someone's like, do you want to do that meeting too? I'm like, you know what? Add it to that day. Cause I'm going to want to kill myself all day. No, it's like staying up late where it's like, it's already 2am. What's 3am? wait people don't talk about that and they're like oh you have to go to the small business person i say great they send me to her she goes we don't have your you in our system you have to go to our individual people i'm like you know when you finally speak up and you're like by the way like i have been put to like four different people are you sure they're like i'm sure you're back to the original person i'm losing my mind and finally they're like we can't find you in our system so like it's it's like when you put in your password and it doesn't work and then you you try to do a new password and they're like that password is the old password that's literally i'm like guys clearly i have it because i'm getting charged every month i want to get out of it so i finally just hang up because we're about to take off and the guy next to me is like sorry about that no way and i was like i am so sorry because i was trying to speak low but he's like health insurance is a motherfucker right and i'm like i'm so sorry you just heard me in my darkest hour like i never want anyone to hear me on a customer service call with health insurance like i am depleted yeah I am beaten down I have no belief in myself or the world and then we ended up kind of bonding and what I love about when men talk to me at the airport they don't ask you questions about themselves what do you mean like you know sometimes you get stuck in like a conversation with like a random mom yeah and she's you know where you from and it's nice but you're tired yeah this man starts talking to me and I'm like oh no I'm gonna have to get into a conversation talked about himself for 10 minutes and then left me alone I said men are amazing I take back everything I said about men he started talking about his job never asked me what I did once never asked me what I did once and for the first time I was like thank god it's a man because I was not in the mood to get into it because a woman would have been like what are you dealing with because they're like maybe I could help this man talked at me for 10 minutes and I said I'd rather be on the phone with customer service but this is fine and you were thankful all grateful their lack of interest he probably was like there's no way this girl has a job i just heard her trying to cancel health insurance there's no way she's capable of anything he was like bragging to me about his job too i was like okay he also asked me what to do in new york city i blanked what do you tell people hannah boy i literally but people also the snowstorm i was like stay inside girls will always get me like what's a fun place for me to go to my for my birthday I'm like I don't know I haven't known a fun place in five years I'm a girl normally I'd be like okay like go thrifting the Lower East Side walk around Tribeca Soho West Village I said that to him and he was like okay he's like a 40 year old like engineer no I'm so bad and if anyone ever asks me that like in my real life I'm like why don't you text my friend blah blah blah blah yeah she always knows do you have a restaurant that you recommend no there's too many there's I mean, yes, my favorite restaurant of all time in New York City is Bar Pity.

45:09But that's not a restaurant you're getting dressed up and going. That's just, I don't know. You can go and sit. You can wear sweats. Also, what's fun about New York is when you're walking around, you get starving, and you pop into a place. That you've literally never seen of or heard of. Opened up yesterday. But what I like to say about New York is that because there's so many places, it's so competitive. that if it lasts more than a year, like it's good. Well, I've been to a lot of really horrible places that are just like nightlife places. Oh, yeah. That I've gone back to in my 30s. And I've been like, how did you guys stay open?

45:49Like this is disgusting. Because it's all vibes and aura. Also everything now, I feel like every new restaurant is like, we do bar food, but in a cool way. And I'm like, just shut up. Just give me a regular burger, you freak. Hot take because I've, in my older years, I've had more of these like dinner meeting things, you know? Events. Well, but it's like you go to the table and it's like, these aren't your best friends. These are like co-workers. Yeah, I hate those. You do way more of those than I do. I shouldn't because I go to dinner. I'm hungry. Yeah. It's a dinner. I don't care if there's people that it's work related.

46:24It's a fucking dinner. And they love to play dumb like they've never eaten dinner before and been like, should we just share some things you know like my anxiety works in such mysterious ways yeah you're never hungry during these things I could be hungry all day and know I'm going to dinner at 7 p.m. right when I sit down at that table I'm miss magically on Ozumpec I'm like I actually haven't thought about a carb in two weeks like there's something in me that I physically cannot eat and there are so many times where I've gone out to dinner like and been like I'm just gonna wrap it up and eat it at home well that's why i get so embarrassed tv if you rewind to the dinner portion i'm stress eating i'm shoving my face and i'm also like if i'm chewing i don't have to come with a fast comeback you know i mean you're you haven't touched your gnocchi no i like can't haven't touched it i don't know why but you let me eat it which is why and once i have an alcoholic beverage that's it then all then i'm like no i can't eat just get me another drink and you're also like a little nauseous well my baseline is always a little nauseous so yeah people will do this let's share and I'm like first of all sharing is intimate like I barely share with my husband and now I'm I have to like find the social norms of sharing food with strangers so and and I'm very aware of like not being rude but I'm also aware that I'm fucking starving and we're all just talking so I'm the person that's like are you guys eating that art joke in front of you or like no there are times where I'm like yeah we'll do it for the table but get two orders because this one's mine like I'm eating all of what's on this one and I love going off with apps yeah order a ton of apps but in terms of my dinner yeah and I know if people like I don't know what I want that's a you problem no I we're very compatible to go out to dinner because I don't eat you've eaten yours and then some of mine and we're great I hate when someone is not free with offering their food that's the thing yeah we'll share but once I know I have have you shared with me well because you can't keep up I'll look over to have a bite and it's all gone I'm like how did you even do that so on the road with Allie she likes to like ask what I'm ordering from room service you're so jealous right now look at your face yeah i am you wouldn't have been jealous this last no because you want to know you guys like get ready and you go out to dinner never once that was one off day that was one off day no i feel like you were dressed twice i saw you page was mad that i wore makeup going out to eat with ally once because i'm just like what have we ever it was aspen like that would have been disrespectful if i show up to dinner oh and you were saying at that hotel yes there was like nuances to it i would never just put makeup on for dinner that's fucking insane there were nuances there were nuances but you were mad you go normal what did you just look for normalize people not knowing the whole story and you not explaining it to him to them just being like there are nuances context is important you wouldn't get the nuances context and i'm not explaining it to you final thing i want to discuss traitors okay can you not go off about Colton this time.

49:40I don't know. Even though all your points are 100 % valid. I was just thinking about me and you on traitors and how I don't understand the strategy. There is none. Because this is the thing. If you really wanted me to fucking find a traitor, which by the way, I would be a faithful and I'd be a traitor killer and I would sit there and instead of just like everyone just looking at each other being like, where are you from? Looking at each other. I go, no, we're all going around. Tell me your name, your sign, And why you're not a traitor. Like, put people under the fucking light, you know? Like, everyone's too polite about it.

50:16I want to be like, explain yourself. And don't blink when you do it. Look at me in the eye. Like, I want people being challenged. My thing is, because we're from reality TV, it's hard for me, even with, like, Dancing with the Stars. It's hard for me to be like, oh, yeah, that's 100 % what happened. And all those people are safe. Like, in my head. You think it's rigged. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. In my head, there's a producer that went up and said, you're picking so-and-so. Yeah. Everyone will follow you. We've also told this person to pick them. Well, also, when you see in traders where it starts with like one person being like, is it Portia?

50:54And then the next second, everyone's like, it's fucking Portia. Okay, but then on the other side of the coin, in my head, I'm a producer. I don't want Portia leaving that early because she's such good TV. So then, but they did have Lisa Rinna. So it's like, yes, they had explosive good TV. But I just can't like Donna Kelsey, apparently because I was posting like that. I was sobbing like Donna Kelsey made me emotional. Just her being like, I want to be here longer, but whatever. And then people are like, you dumbass. Like clearly she agreed to do one episode. Yes. I was done. I was like, why would you think that nice old lady off?

51:32And then they played it that everyone was just like, Donna, you're a traitor. They made her a traitor. Like everyone knew. It was so fake. That was like, she loved the show. She wanted to be on it. But they were like, hey, you can't actually do this show. Taylor Swift was also probably like, let's not. No, she probably. In the van immediately, they were like, so what's Taylor like? That's also like so crazy. But yeah, it was definitely like she had a one episode contract. I would never let my mom go on a reality TV show, even though I did before. Like it would. That's a different type though. If they made one fucking thing look bad, I would lose it.

52:05I would lose. Imagine your mom. I mean horrible I mean we could imagine but the whole time I was like there was so many times where like summer house wanted to film certain things with my family and like my mom was like no the biggest the biggest regret I have is first season putting my family on because I didn't know final thought about my dad I'm you know doing stand-up comedy having fun and there's always occasional man that'll be like does your dad know you say that stuff on stage like how do your parents feel yeah and i'm always like i am my dad yeah i'm my dad yeah like i'm just being my dad i'm half 50 is my dad and that what you're seeing on stage is my dad i've said actual jokes that he said on stage and now i come from like a little bit more of like a conservative you're gonna say cooth no conservative parents in terms of like yeah you don't talk about that you don't say that blah blah blah and even people will say to my dad like wow she really and my dad will go right like oh really they don't say that to the male comics no or yeah and it's even like reality tv it's like there was like a time where people were like so page does only fans and my dad was like no but anyhow we love you guys thank you so much for giggling with us and i think our netflix thing with Mindy Kaling and Kate Hudson and Brenda Song.

53:32You can buy tickets. It might be sold out, but double check, okay? Netflix is a joke festival. We love you guys. Bye.