Giggling about crying, clam slams, and cake pops

0:02Paige DeSorbo: What's up, gigglers?

0:03Hannah Berner: Gary, fix the Wi-Fi. Manifest that shit. We can't be managed.

0:11Hannah Berner: I mean, the day just got away from me.

0:15Paige DeSorbo: Hello, my grimacing gigglers. Okay, what does that mean? Grimace is this.

0:22Hannah Berner: Okay.

0:23Paige DeSorbo: That's me smiling. It's a grimace.

0:25Hannah Berner: Yeah, okay.

0:26Paige DeSorbo: We've started a movement. It's soft smile summer. the girls aren't smiling to people please we're just being ourselves and if you don't smile people still love you i don't know i just made that up how are you i haven't smiled once in solidarity that's a lie because you've posted two tiktoks smiling at the end and it was giving you don't care about your best friend i was like oh okay just attack me to my face i have been thinking about you a lot no you know what i'm going through and you decided to smile in two out of two outfit

1:02Hannah Berner: talks crazy and people noticed the other night i facetimed hannah and it was actually so sad because she goes i haven't been able to give my real smile all day because i don't want to scare people and now that i get to laugh with you on facetime it's so freeing no so you guys i'm at my

1:26Paige DeSorbo: job yeah and the good news is it's going well because i'm like leaning into being serious but i can't smile because it makes me look like i'm crying and it freaks people out so i like have to hold it in until i get back to my hotel room and i'm just like

1:44Hannah Berner: you know what i'm actually really proud of us though because i feel like whenever we go through something also i've been shitting my brains out here um we we make it acceptable for the

1:55Paige DeSorbo: girls to like just pee themselves well it's so cool that we say something that's like so depressing and sad and then all the gigglers are like i feel less alone this happened to me or this isn't happening to me but i at least can laugh at you like the fact that i'm some people literally like i was in the darkest depression and then i watched the youtube of you trying to smile and it brought

2:17Hannah Berner: me out of it and i'm like it was worth it it was it was worth it stabbed me a million times but um

2:22Paige DeSorbo: my feed now every nurse doctor practitioner is now like doing videos about what happened to me trying to help which is kind of great because i'm getting all this like free advice but all the advice is like you fucked yeah you have a couple months and some of them are like this was extremely rare how did this happen to both page and hannah no within a couple months how our ops are working

2:51Hannah Berner: overtime

2:52Paige DeSorbo: but also i feel like nurses are nervous because they're like hey guys botox like isn't as horrible as page and hannah are making it seem they just have really bad luck and i'm like okay well the

3:02Hannah Berner: math isn't mathing no the statistics that me and my best friend in the course of three months had a botox mishap this was the third time i did masseter so i'm one for three you're one of two

3:17Paige DeSorbo: one yeah you're one of two one of two one of two okay so that's two out of five two two out of five

3:24Hannah Berner: that's almost half you've lost me sorry i've actually tapped out of this 40 wait by the way

3:32Paige DeSorbo: being in toronto i forgot to tell you i got to my flight early and then i looked at when the flight was boarding and it said 2010 and in that moment i was like i'm not gonna make it because like the second it's a mil once you're in the 20s like i feel like 15 i could do the math but once you're in the 20s that's like i've you've lost me it's the next day at that point it's the next day and then i realized the reason me and you podcasting when you're in italy totally fun totally easy the hard part is we can't do math so i'll be like page i'm free at 4 p.m and she's

4:12Hannah Berner: like don't know when that is i'm like cool cool somebody tried to schedule a zoom with me and josephine was like hey like they want to do it and i go okay if they're in california we're fucked i was like you tell them pick a time and i'll see if i'll be there if i have to carry a one to get

4:32Paige DeSorbo: to that time we're not doing it so again now we're just like hey are you free in the next 20 minutes and if we're not then we just wait we can't we haven't set one time also i was running on the treadmill do you remember i was bragging to you how fast i was running uh-huh because you're fast twitch myself turns out i wasn't running miles per hour i was running running

4:51Hannah Berner: kilometers per hour okay well i stepped on the scale here and it's in kilograms and i go yeah i like that number you know what i'm not even gonna convert that because that seems nice

5:07Paige DeSorbo: i thought i was like an olympian i go wow i jogged once and i'm running at nine for seven minutes i actually was like so i was like holy shit i'm a i was kendall jenner i was like i'm athletic so genetically athletic um but babe sauna life it's been a lot i love a sauna how many minutes are you going in for well this is the thing there's a sauna at my hotel but it's not like a full person sauna it's like two people i mean it's two people like it's not like a big sauna so i get i keep having these sauna um interactions which i didn't know was legal the first one sit down a man comes in and i'm like should i call the police like is that are you i'm in the sauna like why would you cover my sauna turns to me goes hey really liked your special another man he must have been on the background of his girlfriend like living room how are they finding us okay that's not right or cool then the next day i'm in the sauna watching wimbledon and these two are gossiping gossiping they turn to me they go sorry what time is it i look up i'm like i don't i can't read military time i don't know and

6:23Paige DeSorbo: 37 42 who the fuck knows and the guy was a gagler he turns to me goes oh hannah burner oh my god so i'm two for two starts asking me about all the tea going on and i said look what happens in the sauna stays in the sauna so i'm gossiping yeah they get out sauna yesterday there was a girl in like it's by the pool wearing a full thong in the sauna like i guess bathing suits are like that now i go in there's a huge like butt mark from her sitting in the sauna wait like a peach that's disgusting no i was like i'm kind of sauna culture i'm i don't understand yet it's freaking me out i got into a fight in the song in a sauna one time

7:17Hannah Berner: what happened okay i go into this i'm in a building i'm in like an apartment building it's a communal sauna it's but girl it's in like a girl's locker room so it's just women but it's like a pretty big sauna like it's two rows if you really wanted to pack 10 people in there you could I work out in the gym and then I go into the locker room and I go in the sauna and I'm in my workout clothes and I kept my sneakers on. OK. And I'm sitting there. My feet are on the ground. This woman comes in and she's wearing she's also in like workout clothes, like regular clothes, but no shoes. And she says to me, you know, it's really rude to come in with your sneakers on.

8:08Hannah Berner: People lay their heads down, like lay on these benches. And I turn to her and I go, well, that's disgusting because this is a communal sauna. And why would someone be laying their sweaty body down? So I kept my sneakers on and was like, that's where me and you are different.

8:26Paige DeSorbo: I would have been like, I am so sorry. This is your culture. I don't understand your culture. I'm taking off my shoes. I love it. And then you sat there and looked at her the whole time. I was this close to being like, and who the fuck are you to tell me what I'm going to do in the goddamn sauna?

8:43Hannah Berner: I go, well, that's disgusting. You shouldn't lay down in it. The sauna is full of people's sweat. She was trying to tell me I was in like a health code violation. I was like, no, no, lady. I think you with your bare ass feet. I also said, I go, well, I would be nervous to not have socks and shoes on because that's how foot fungus spreads.

9:03Paige DeSorbo: So hop off my dick, lady. I love all the women around you being like, valid points are being made. And I suddenly don't want to be here anymore.

9:11Hannah Berner: No, I feel like that's where COVID started. I'm like, I took this relaxing experience and just.

9:17Paige DeSorbo: Well, being in a small, hot space with strangers is my nightmare. My nightmare. I've had three bad experiences no no no the second was fun because we gossip but like I was I just

9:29Hannah Berner: want to watch Wimbledon you're in a different place than you typically are and I would say that like when people when you're in a random situation and someone does want to talk to you you're very happy and jolly and you do want to engage but you're going through a time right now no I know because you can't talk that's your favorite thing to do is talk no I know

9:53Paige DeSorbo: and i do have to say the one thing that's getting me through this

9:57Hannah Berner: and if we're being so real with each other yeah let's i'm getting so much attention

10:04Paige DeSorbo: like if i wasn't getting attention you guys i would be like in a really really bad place but i go to sleep at night and i go at least people are talking about me at least people care enough and it's actually crazy because when it first started happening i was on tiktok and i found like two or three girls that it happened to and all these girlies are now posting being like hey you guys remember when this happened to me it's happening to hannah burner and the girl was so funny she's like hannah burner we got another diva down she didn't look at my so we're kind of all bonding even meredith um wishbone kitchen she said it happened to her um megan trainer said it happened to her and um it's it divas are going down are people just

10:49Hannah Berner: not saying when it happens because they're embarrassed because when it happened to me i literally was i can't tell me no i i'm i would tell everyone that would listen i'd be like i know you don't know me so you don't know what my actual smile looks like but look at this because this ain't it like i wanted to tell everyone so i don't get it like are the girls

11:12Paige DeSorbo: don't be embarrassed but the gigglers yeah they're getting me through it by laughing and like people were telling me like just that it's it made them happy and that makes like it really like for a month of sadness is cured for sure where I would have been really sad um so yesterday we tried to

11:31Hannah Berner: record you you were going through it are you okay you know this is my karma for laughing in my tiktoks while my friend can't move her face because we truly have switched positions I was and you know what this is my own fault because I came on to the trip and I said I'm gonna eat a fuck ton on this trip you were determined I was determined and it takes me a couple days to like acclimate to anywhere like I can't and sometimes people will have this problem where like they can't go to the bathroom on vacation I get the opposite where I'm like it's running through me to the point that last night we were at dinner and I said I looked at the table and I go guys I've had a lovely time but if I don't run back to the room I will in fact shit myself here at the table so it's been

12:20Paige DeSorbo: lovely but I must I must jet so I literally was record after dinner so I'm like hey babe haven't heard from you and she's like I literally physically can't get off the toilet right now

12:31Hannah Berner: here's the worst part I run back to my room my room and my brother's room we have like a joining door adorable in Europe you take you have to put your car your key card in like the slot from like right when you walk in the door for like the electricity okay yeah I run back to the room they're doing turndown service in my room oh no I'm like I'm like it's okay like and they're like oh well like I'm like like no one speaks English I'm like I didn't like I go into my brother's room pitch black i don't have his key card obviously so i'm sitting on the toilet pure black just pitch black and honestly let me tell you were you sure you found the toilet

13:17Paige DeSorbo: i had to use my flashlight on my phone okay so you sat there in darkness just relieving yourself

13:29Hannah Berner: imagine if your brother walked in well then he came in later and he was like are you fucking kidding me and actually when we first got to the hotel i went in and went into a hotel room and i like really had to go to the bathroom so i go into the hotel room i go to the bathroom and then i come out and i'm like i actually want the other room like i don't want this room i want the one my brothers in so i go let's switch so regina george i go let's switch rooms and he's like okay and so we switch rooms and then he goes did you take a shit it was like the most brother sister thing and i was just like yeah i did what are you gonna do about it tell mom it was yeah i literally going on vacation with your siblings is like reverting back to childhood like everyone reverts back to their position in the family i feel like the only person that finds my mouth funnier than you is your dad is my brother no my parents are like being actually really like are

14:35Paige DeSorbo: you okay my brother he can't even look at me without crying hysterically he thinks it's the funniest thing but my dad by the way i always have a nervous stomach too and i'm known i like to when i get to a restaurant i go to the bathroom not just to go to the bathroom but to like see the ambiance like yeah it's i need to know the full restaurant and the bathroom is a huge experience so whenever i'm at a restaurant i go i have to go to the bathroom i like to i'll take between appetizer and main i like to just clean it out go relieve yourself yeah and My dad always goes, you gotta go to the bathroom?

15:10Paige DeSorbo: That's a surprise. That's a surprise. That's like his favorite thing.

15:15Hannah Berner: Oh, Hannah's going to the bathroom? That's a surprise. Have you ever tried to go non-dairy for like longer than?

15:22Paige DeSorbo: Three minutes?

15:23Hannah Berner: Yeah.

15:24Paige DeSorbo: I've done it for like a meal and then the next meal I forgot.

15:27Hannah Berner: That's my thing too. Whenever I'm like, I'm on a diet. I literally forget.

15:31Paige DeSorbo: You have to remember. I'm like, oh yeah. I'm also like is there dairy and scallion cream cheese like yeah I'm like okay well

15:41Hannah Berner: you're like okay well I planned on having a bagel so no one thing I do want to point out that's very different from European hotels to American hotels why is there already a fork and knife in my hotel room when I have not ordered amazing in case i happen upon a meal they're like don't worry we got you or like you don't have to we're like if you're at any hotel in america you have to find a fork yeah i'm like hey could you send up a fork and they're like whoa eight years later they're like we gotta

16:17Paige DeSorbo: turn this place upside down we're in italy they're like what if you come home and you have a little snack what would you do and there's also little butter knives there's little butter knives right

16:28Hannah Berner: Which is what happened last night when I came back to the room to go to the bathroom. Then my family came back and they brought me my leftover ravioli. And so then I ate it then.

16:37Paige DeSorbo: What I love about us and our families, too, is we're so main character energy. Like whether it's bad or good, it's going to be about us. Like it is the Paige and Hannah show nonstop.

16:50Hannah Berner: My dad literally goes, why are you so tired? I go, because I have to perform every night at 8 p.m. What would we do at dinner if I wasn't performing? like I'm exhausted I'm doing two weeks of shows I've been writing I'm like you think that the the running joke for the whole trip is going to stay alive if I don't keep it alive sometimes living a wellness lifestyle can be a lot harder than you initially planned and that's because there's so many products out there that greenwash their products say things like they're more natural or clean than they really are. But Nature's Sunshine sustainably sources their ingredients and craft their supplements with 100 % solar-powered manufacturing.

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18:51Hannah Berner: And don't even get me started on the K. Alley fragrances. I wore K. Alley Eden blush pair the other day and three separate people asked me what I was wearing. It has become my entire personality. What I love is Sephora makes it so easy to discover your next favorite makeup, skincare, hair, or fragrance product all in one place, especially the products everyone's talking about right now so if you want to stay ahead of the beauty group chat shop the newest hottest beauty products only at sephora oh i have a question yeah so at my hotel i'm here for three

19:25Paige DeSorbo: weeks i realized i have to do laundry at the hotel i've never done this have you done this before

19:31Hannah Berner: honey you know i love an amenity at a hotel you want to know what i did this year what i checked in they bring our bags up i call down i go hey any chance you guys have an unpacking service they go mr sorbo of course i go amazing i'm gonna go to the pool they're and they're like great we'll send someone up i get changed i go to the pool i have my day i come back up all my clothes hanging amazing lovely do yourself a favor ask for that next

20:02Paige DeSorbo: time you're at a hotel well this is the problem i don't like calling people second of all so there's a laundry bag it says laundry so i'm like okay i could do this but then it has a slip i've already done two loads here i love doing laundry on vacation i have a huge thing of

20:18Hannah Berner: laundry i have to go through and tell them how many of each thing well you waited too long you gotta do it you gotta do it like once a week i'll do it after the pod okay yeah but it's gonna feel so good no that's like one of the only slips i like filling out i'm like two dresses i wasn't

20:37Paige DeSorbo: anticipating being in the sauna every day so i only brought four t-shirts no you're busy i want

20:43Hannah Berner: to say something about love island let it out i'm fully caught up on us i said i wasn't gonna do this but here we are and i'm fully caught up because i can't be out of the loop of anything and you know what i'm like you guys aren't even love real love island fans so like if anyone's gonna be in the combo i'm gonna be in the god is this a kidding oh my that's the biggest bug i've ever seen the bugs here are big like they're meaty like they eat a fly fly i was watching like one of the most recent episodes and it's so interesting watching like obviously watching reality tv and especially like a game show type reality tv where they're in like this incubus where it's only what they're dealing with.

21:27Hannah Berner: So there's this girl, her name is Anaya. She was coupled up with this guy. His name is Casey. They go to Casa Amor, blah, blah, blah, whatever. She comes, she's like, I'm going to stay single. Hopefully he stayed single. He doesn't. He comes back with a girl. They get in this like whole big thing, whatever. But there is a moment where she starts crying because he's come back with a girl. And I have never watched a reality television show and cried because I'm Scorpio. Yeah, that's just not something I would ever do. I literally started tearing up because I knew, I knew in my gut, not only was she dealing with like this guy just being like the biggest asshole.

22:10Hannah Berner: Like honestly, a lot of the men on Love Island this year because they're Gen Z are very red pilled and it's very scary. And I don't think people are realizing it to the full potential. Like the way they talk about the girls doing sexual things is very, very back in time. Like it's actually like concerning. Anyway, that's a whole separate situation. I digress. But I could tell that I started tearing up because I could tell that she was crying because she wanted to be like, and I'm being filmed right now. Like she was so frustrated and she was like, and I'm on a show. Like, and everyone is watching this.

22:47Hannah Berner: Like you could tell it wasn't just about the guy. it was about like and i i feel like i'm in jail because i can't fuck it like i want to leave i

22:55Paige DeSorbo: have to leave you and she's like this is fucking embarrassing and i didn't sign up to be embarrassed

23:01Hannah Berner: i signed up to like find love fun and like have yes and so there was i just felt so horrible for i literally started like i had a full tear run down my face because i was like i know exactly what you're feeling like i was almost like yeah girl go home like if you want to go home go home Like I'm a very big proponent of like and I'll leave. Fuck you and I'm going home.

23:26Paige DeSorbo: There are so many times I tried so I should have left and I didn't because I told myself I'm not a quitter. Sometimes you should quit. Persevere. I think with reality TV too like Paige and I aren't criers and we've cried on TV many times because when there's a camera there everything feels so much more intense. And serious. serious and that's why when someone does something mean on camera it's so much meaner because you're like you know the whole world's gonna see you say that about me so like you want you want the whole

23:58Hannah Berner: world to think that about me there are so many times where you're like on camera are you on camera kidding me that came out of your mouth on camera and there are times i think too that you realize that not everyone is built like you because there would be situations where i like in my head i'd be like i would never fucking do that to you on camera look there's been horrible men on love island since 2015 it's not like the beginning of time yeah it's not like it's like a nuanced thing but never once in my years of watching love island have i ever heard a man say or complain that the girl he is coupled up with is not doing enough sexual things with him and also the way just me the way the men disguise like well i'm just very affectionate well my love language is affection yeah no shit you want your dick sucked like we're not idiots yeah but the way they're talking about like the sexual acts that the girls are doing or not doing it's like hey they're on national television like i think it's a pretty plausible thing to not want to fuck on a television

25:08Paige DeSorbo: show i'm confused though are the guys wanting the girls to be more sexual or judging them for being

25:14Hannah Berner: sexual or both both so they want them to be more sexual with them but like if a girl explores more than one they're like really do you need to explore more than one person yet it's fucking love island that's the whole goddamn point of the meanwhile they're they're talking to everyone

25:33Paige DeSorbo: Wait, what's with the, it's called the clam shell drop or something.

25:40Paige DeSorbo: It's the split where she's, it's called slamming the clam. She's slamming her clam.

25:46Hannah Berner: Is that what they're calling it?

25:48Paige DeSorbo: Yeah, that's what's coming up in my algorithm. The clam slam. Clam slam. Okay, I actually don't hate that. But yeah, she does a lot of splits. I'm so fucking jealous. Honestly, I'm so fucking jealous. If I could slam my clam.

26:01Hannah Berner: Hannah if you could do splits I'd actually have to reevaluate our friendship wait do you know that's why I started watching Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders yesterday and your

26:10Paige DeSorbo: thoughts honey I have I watched the whole first season honey I'm so glad you didn't do it the

26:15Hannah Berner: way you did Mormon wives where you literally went backwards because that was diabolical

26:19Paige DeSorbo: yeah that confused me you're one season in okay my thoughts are these women literally bring these

26:25Hannah Berner: cheerleaders out back and leave them for dead they're like oh did you gain three pounds fuck out of here they're like hey legally we can't tell you to lose weight but if we could we'd say

26:39Paige DeSorbo: look on the scale minus it by 40 i think i think it's because i watched the whole season in a day but yeah everyone's really sad like it's too depressing for me to watch because they're whether it's whether they're doing well they're like this is really sad and then if they're not doing well they're like this is really sad okay they're all of they're all so stressed and scared of missing like one pom-pom routine and they're all overqualified they're all overqualified for

27:10Hannah Berner: what this gig is paying them obviously i kind of want someone to say to the you know how it's the two coaches and then the head woman have you met the head woman she's got brown hair blue eyes yeah Yes. She's like in charge of Judy and the other lady. She's Jerry Jones's daughter. She's scary as fuck. Okay. There's something really, really terrifying about her. And I don't know what it is.

27:37Paige DeSorbo: It's rich people shit. And I think it's her blue eyes. Like that's another realm that I've never been to. She's such a billionaire that she doesn't understand like anything where the head, the other head lady was like how do we tell this girl who's good enough that she can't make the team for no reason and she goes we have 36 girls yeah tell her 36 it's easy she's literally like

28:04Hannah Berner: you're ugly you're not making the team you're hideous and okay look i love a makeover like i truly i love a makeover scene i love i'd love to give someone a makeover like i watch even like watching love island like the girls are gorgeous but i'm like oh what if we like took your eyelashes off cut your hair and like like i'm always thinking like what are random things because that's my hobby i and not in like a judgmental mean aesthetics are your passion yeah i'm just like what if you wear a brunette the way they do the makeovers i'm sorry but if you put me in that room in dallas texas i don't know if it's because it's like east coast but in 10 minutes i'm lighting those bitches up like i'm like who the fuck do you think you are like and i don't know if it's because the girls are like young 20s and they feel like these women are like authority and they have to respect them but like fuck there's so many times where i'm watching the show where i'd be

29:07Paige DeSorbo: like and fuck you page to this day i'll sit down in a makeup bar so do my makeup and just do some crazy shit and i'll say thank you and leave like i get it i get it i bleached my own hair i was like

29:20Hannah Berner: no that was me yeah but okay but if you want to do something like that's autonomy yeah do whatever you want but if i do it before they let them in they made that girl dye her hair brown and then

29:33Paige DeSorbo: told her she's not on the team yeah like what the fuck is that i think that is so rude the girls from the 70s are so iconic because the team was actually the best in the 70s so like they made them famous so it is cool to see those women um but then i hate when people say and they do this a lot on the show it's very cultish they go this these are the best years of your life and they purposely tell that to them over and over again so that these girls feel lucky and these girls are going to look back and be like oh that was my most insecure scariest time and by the way stop saying these are the best college is not the best years of your life your 20s are not the best years of your life anyone who says that to you is lying i hated college you know the best years of your life are this moment right now yeah whenever you can choose to live in literally um but yeah those women are scary as fuck also super scary i do watch a lot of things and get inspired like i'll watch a music documentary of like a rock star and i'll be like i want to be a rock star or i'll watch like a documentary of like a softball pitcher and i'll be like i want to be a softball pitcher one day not one ounce of me wanted to be a cheerleader watching that me

30:49Hannah Berner: watching it, I'm like, I love the outfits. I love, like, I, but I love really girly stuff like that. But what I don't like, well, I don't like, I don't like being managed. You can't tell me what to goddamn do. So I don't know if I could actually be, like, on an organized sports team as an adult.

31:11Paige DeSorbo: My biggest thing, and I don't know what this is about me, but I hate being part of, like, a stream of salmon does that make sense you hate going with the crowd yeah like i hate being like you've made it to be a non-descript beautiful girl in the crowd of beautiful girls and you all just are like one beautiful girl now like i love individuality and being myself and expressing myself and i feel like they're trying to make you be something that none of them actually are like all these girls are different and beautiful in their own ways and they're all trying to be these caricatures I just love being my own person so that was driving me crazy that it's like you have to fit in with what everyone's doing wear the same thing look the same be the same you know

31:59Hannah Berner: what I'd love I'd love this exact show for the Rockettes because I'd love to know I would say it's very I'd say it's probably same ages same I think they have to try out every single year I'd love to know also professional dancers I'd love to know how they get treated it being in New York City versus Dallas Texas well some of the Dallas Texas girls were talking about how they

32:26Paige DeSorbo: could try to be a rockette because they have the skills what do you think of Victoria oh sweet girl I feel really bad for her so for people who know Victoria basically her whole life was about becoming a Dallas cheerleader she's like sitting in her room with like all these Dallas cheerleader

32:43Hannah Berner: her merchandise and stuff i think the coaches were disgusting to her i think they were so mean to her

32:50Paige DeSorbo: well she also was like i feel like i don't fit in none of the coaches like want me to do well and in her this is it kind of reminded me of tennis a little where i was like this has been my dream my whole life but it got to a point where i was like every sign is telling me to stop and i have to stop blindly chasing this dream so i really empathize with her yeah where i was like you're gonna learn from this fucked up experience but like she's not where she's meant to be and that's why everything was just like going wrong for her i think she goes and becomes a rock cat

33:25Hannah Berner: fuck yeah you know how they say that like men don't respect women that they don't find attractive yes neither do older women in texas oh over 40 they actually feel the same way terese who's

33:41Paige DeSorbo: adorable they were like oh we met your boyfriend he's not what we thought he would be and she's like what do you mean and they go we thought you'd be with like a football player or something she's like no he doesn't play football and they're like yeah okay and if someone ever fucking said that to my face you're so jacked up right now i've been hanging with my dad for too long really it's been like five days and i'm like what'd you say you go and i think it was disgusting no it was despicable is what it is because like i'm not in like an authority i'm not like the

34:21Hannah Berner: authority of anyone like I'm not I mean I guess I am people's boss but I don't ever see it like that so like I don't know how you can be in charge of a group of people regardless of what your job is but especially be in charge of a group of women who are significant that would be like me running a fourth grade team no this is exactly what it is Sophia can I talk to you for a second I am the coach of a fifth grade cheerleading team and I'm gonna be mean to those bitches no uh no because I could have birthed them well with age comes wiseness like there were so many

35:03Paige DeSorbo: moments where I feel like she could have given like wise advice but instead she was just like get out of here you'll maybe next year maybe next year girl god bless bless her heart and the girls

35:15Hannah Berner: are always in the room like the coaches are being so mean to them and the girls are always in the

35:19Paige DeSorbo: room like thank you so much one of the rules is you have to say yes ma 'am and if they don't they go would and she goes yes ma 'am but also what's crazy is these girls like on game day they're working from 9 a.m to 9 p.m yeah right they're getting up at like five crazy like longer than

35:38Hannah Berner: the football players these girls are working and they were like why don't you want two dollars an hour they're like that that's not enough for you well at the end they had the girls had to say like

35:47Paige DeSorbo: if they want to come back and i'm like can they afford to the one girl's like i need a hip

35:52Hannah Berner: replacement also like i feel like they can cut the splits like if every girl is like hey um my femur bone is hurt like is it's on its last leg they have this dance called thunderstruck which is like what they're known for yeah no it's a phenomenal dance it's a phenomenal dance but it

36:13Paige DeSorbo: turns out it's like the hardest dance to do and i'm like we could no one would notice if we cut

36:19Hannah Berner: 30 seconds why isn't anyone bringing up the fact that they do the same dance every single year you guys don't want to switch it up ever like i don't like the same thing yeah like yeah no wonder some people are so good at it they've been doing it for 20 years like and also when they kept saying

36:36Paige DeSorbo: that the splits are like ruining their body even though i was jealous i couldn't do it i was like I couldn't watch it I was like these girls are you losing I can't watch them split there because

36:46Hannah Berner: they do a jump split it was like a drag queen move they're doing like death drops in this season though there's one girl that's like no my doctor said if I do another split and the coaches are like well what are you gonna do and she's like I'm gonna ice it ma 'am don't worry I'm gonna ice I'm like you need to go to Alaska you need more ice than what's in your refrigerator in Texas She's like, someone get Kenzie from Love Island. She'll do the splits. It's just such a fun, it's just a freaking weird show.

37:16Paige DeSorbo: Are season two and three better or different?

37:18Hannah Berner: Season three was real weird. Season three was not as good as season one and two.

37:24Paige DeSorbo: There is just a sadness to it all, though. Like, it was really starting. Also, I am sad, so that could have been it.

37:30Hannah Berner: There's a certain dark energy that I can't put my finger on. It's real dark.

37:35Paige DeSorbo: Wait, can I get you mad about something?

37:38Hannah Berner: Fuck yeah.

37:39Paige DeSorbo: So apparently they're putting tons of money into like trying to secure male baldness. And it's like millions of dollars more than any research they've done for endometriosis. The like discrepancy between the money going towards male baldness versus endometriosis studies is like insane.

37:59Hannah Berner: You're balding because God believes in karma. so either deal with it or go pay 30 grand to get a hair transplant i knew i was gonna get you going do you know it takes 10 years to even get diagnosed with endometriosis because no one cares about it and we don't need to diagnose you motherfuckers with male pattern baldness we know when you're ugly put a hat on also i would argue that whoever's voting for where

38:30Paige DeSorbo: the money goes in the senate or the state or the whatever i bet those men don't know what

38:36Hannah Berner: endometriosis is i have so many exes that are balding and let me tell you the joy that it fucking brings me is on there's no greater joy i have at least four and i just got notified that

38:46Paige DeSorbo: one of my exes got a hair hair replacement or whatever yeah and um you guys karma's real karma works. That's one thing we know for sure on this pod.

39:00Hannah Berner: This episode of Giggly Squad is sponsored by Haagen-Dazs. You know that feeling when you've been going nonstop and you finally just sit down and everything gets quiet for a second? That's the energy Haagen-Dazs is giving and I'm so here for it. They just dropped a brand new flavor made to be savored. There's the new coffee almond toffee ice cream. It's Brazilian coffee ice cream, buttery toffee pieces, crunchy California almonds. The coffee ice cream is deep, smooth, and toffee brings the warm buttery sweetness and the almonds give you that satisfying crunch with every spoonful. It's the kind of thing you have to slow down for because you actually want to taste all of it.

39:41Hannah Berner: And that's the whole thing about Haagen-Dazs. It's rich, smooth, creamy ice cream that's genuinely too good to rush through. A moment that's just for you. Take your sweet time, that's Dawes, find Haagen-Dazs new coffee, almond toffee ice cream at retailers nationwide.

39:58Paige DeSorbo: Did I talk about how I got stuck in a gay pride?

40:08Hannah Berner: Like you walked in the middle of it? Let me set the scene.

40:13Paige DeSorbo: So I'm in Toronto and they told me where to get my spray tan and I had to physically go somewhere and I was like I'm picking the best place because I'm scared of what's recently happened to me I did all this research this is the place to go so it's like a 15 minute walk but like a six minute uber and of course I was like fucking around the bathroom when I was running late so I was like fuck it all uber 10 minutes in I realized this uber we're still in traffic and it's one of those where like if you're late by 10 minutes they cancel the call

40:45Hannah Berner: so i start freaking out okay not very canadian of them no i know so i called them and i'm like hey

40:50Paige DeSorbo: just stuck in traffic but it says soon the guy's like all the roads are closed all the toronto roads are closed i'm like okay why is this happening he's like i don't know and i'm like i'll just get out and figure this out so i get out and i start going on the street i'm supposed to be on that was closed like so you know middle of the pride parade i'm literally dancing to ariana

41:09Hannah Berner: grande rain on me rain rain rain on me wait what's it called when you're the like you're the head of the parade what is that called like the grand what is that called no i'm googling it that's

41:24Paige DeSorbo: some that's called something i was like let's keep going faster faster i'm running late to my tan appointment which i feel like was like people understood but i'm literally getting through the pride parade while there was a drag queen at one point i was like yes queen yes queen um and i had the best time on toronto pride a grand marshal i knew i'm the grand marshal also let's be honest completely lesbian passing everyone was like finally i was wearing what i'm wearing right now big t-shirt and just love and life and um when i got in i was like sorry i was in the pride parade sorry i'm late and she was like

42:06Hannah Berner: it's okay are you interested in anything world cup related like have you watched any games or you don't care because sometimes because you're a sports girly really at heart so sometimes you will dabble in other like genres and where i like i'm not like i'm not like turning on a soccer game

42:27Paige DeSorbo: you know you know it's funny because Des is European yeah so he likes soccer something about it I haven't wrapped my head around it yeah you can't get into it I can't get into it because yeah I haven't no I've also been like going through it so I haven't been able to but also

42:45Hannah Berner: soccer I have trouble watching one thing I think about a lot with soccer players is because the field is big and they're running the whole time how do they not shit themselves you know it is how are marathon runners not shitting themselves i think they are are they they are because like if you go dog sledding the dogs shit themselves because they're running so much as a marathon

43:10Paige DeSorbo: runner now yeah i do have to say you won't have to shit and the second you get on that treadmill you're like okay after i've put my purse down set up my eye my eye i almost said ipad iphone put my gatorade down now i suddenly have to shit myself because my body's like i have to run but no when you're like in the adrenaline it's like when you're on stage you get it holds in unless you're going through like a real stomach situation but um with soccer with me i don't know what they're trying to do so i can't tell when someone's doing something good or bad because no one's getting it in the goal so i just it just like looks like people are kicking it to each other But again, I know I'm being a stupid American when I say that.

43:49Hannah Berner: I just like anytime I watch a sport, I think of like, OK, in what way would I get hurt? And I'm like someone would kick my shin and that's it. I'm done.

43:56Paige DeSorbo: Well, apparently it has as many. OK, that's a made up stat. But like there's a lot of concussions because they all jump and try to head the ball. So everyone's jumping and then like head butting each other and just cracking each other's skulls. Wow. No, that's not good. Which leads us to Women in STEM of the week Hell yeah There's a girl who I don't know what happened but she lost her license Okay

44:24Hannah Berner: Could have been a lot of things

44:27Paige DeSorbo: Could have been many things we don't judge But she's in college and like has to get to class So she's driving around

44:34Hannah Berner: So she lost it within Four years of having it Essentially not great Not great

44:41Paige DeSorbo: But to get to class now

44:43Hannah Berner: she's driving around in a barbie jeep and like dead serious like on campus and that's innovation and that's just like smart why if there's no different than taking like a scooter or a bike it's just so funny because she looks like miserable going to class in her barbie wait can you send me that video because i love that yeah it's very you coded yeah i love that so much i'm almost like why didn't i think of that i feel like because you've been in italy i've had

45:15Paige DeSorbo: to and i'm just like scrolling my phone i have so many random news stories for us have you heard of the cake pop pop drama cake pop k-pop cake cake okay cake cake sorry i can't really speak right know. Sorry, it's a cake situation. True. Cake pop drama. Okay. Basically, a girl makes cake pops. Okay. And it's a real art form. Like people really follow these like a Starbucks cake pop. Yeah. So they make it at home and they basically make the cake with a cake batter like that you buy like Betty Crocker. And then it's kind of fun to watch them dip it into different things. and it's like different colors they do tie-dye whatever i actually got kind of into it for a second yeah women and so one of the women is like hey i'm really annoyed this woman stole my my recipe for fruity pebbles cake pops the girl posts crying and she's like i didn't steal your recipe i don't know your recipe you don't post your recipe she's like it's fruity pebbles and betty crocker like what recipe are you talking about everyone gets mad at the first girl and the first girls like has to quit cake popping because her business is now canceled because she accused the other girl of stealing her cake pop recipe and that made that girl cry

46:40Hannah Berner: we've really lost the plot this is why the patriarchy is winning you guys is it because we're getting caught up in cake pop situations wait i saw that the girl there's a girl that tried to trademark hot girl walk everyone's talking about it now like girls need to stop

46:56Paige DeSorbo: claiming general things.

46:59Hannah Berner: I just feel like with the internet everyone thinks they're like a lawyer and a doctor and I think like the first one of the biggest things about like being mature and self-aware is admitting when you don't know something and you're not an authority on it and being like honest being like I don't know that or like I wouldn't well how would I know but the internet everyone is like an authority like well that's the problem some of them are getting bad

47:29Paige DeSorbo: advice like this one girl said a lawyer told her like it was your recipe you're allowed to fight for this but these lawyers don't understand like nuance and like culture that like okay maybe you

47:41Hannah Berner: can't trademark a common phrase just and also if anything Megan Thee Stallion started hot girl

47:48Paige DeSorbo: whatever so yes how would you even well it's like us trying to trademark giggle that's like we didn't invent giggling right like well also

48:05Paige DeSorbo: it's it's just like i guess people having people in their ear trying to make money and using the legal system and back then i think all this stuff used to happen like back then everyone's suing everyone but nowadays you can kind of it can go viral online actually i think paris hilton trademarked that's hot yeah i think it's a common thing that people make money off of i mean do you remember websites people are just like i own peanuts.com and you're like okay you

48:33Hannah Berner: got you got it first you got to somebody owned page to sorbo.com for a really long time and i used to try and figure out who it was because i genuinely thought it was someone i knew just trying to like fuck with me because then wait remember when someone owned giggly squad.com and they wanted us to pay like thousands and thousands of dollars and we were like fuck you

48:55Paige DeSorbo: we'll do a hyphen yeah that's why we have a hyphen we were like okay we literally it's crazy that you

49:01Hannah Berner: think we care about our brand i'm like last thing i'm doing is giving some random ass man money for

49:07Paige DeSorbo: my name keep it babe keep it also apparently someone yeah did at giggly squad on twitter and they were like you have to buy it from us and we're like that's hilarious you think we use

49:16Hannah Berner: twitter i'm like i haven't gone on twitter since 2006 have a great time you can keep our twitter you can keep it babe there's someone on facebook like pretending to be me and so many people have dm'd me about it like hey like just want to let you know and i'm like who the fuck is on facebook but i'm like i don't give a shit like mental health moment of the week i did see a tiktok

49:37Paige DeSorbo: that was really helpful because as you guys know i'm not very good at processing my emotions sometimes i just turn it into jokes and then i cry about it alone after and i still to this day i'm like what does it fucking mean to process an emotion like i don't understand especially as an athlete where it's like how do you feel and you're like good i don't i'm fine i'm strong so this woman said processing an emotion is when you feel an emotion before you immediately try to fix it fix it um call your mom try to make it feel better eat something to soften the blow before you do anything she basically was like sit in the emotion just like don't do and basically don't do anything because i was like what is processing mean she's like just let it just feel it and it's uncomfortable whether it's hatred anger shame envy sadness sit in it and give it like a couple minutes and then do something because it trains your body to learn that it's safe for you to feel so the next time that emotion comes up you don't panic as much because your body has sat with it before and it

50:44Hannah Berner: didn't do anything crazy okay well i've never processed an emotion before so that was enlightening

50:50Paige DeSorbo: now that i realize that the second you feel bad emotion what do you do you grab your gua sha

50:56Hannah Berner: and you start your skincare routine yeah okay i guess i actually immediately start yelling but yeah i should do that so i guess sitting with it makes your body less impulsive to be scared

51:11Paige DeSorbo: of feeling and then once you can handle your feelings you're kind of fucking unstoppable

51:16Hannah Berner: you know that book um it's called like it i forget what it's called but it basically tells you if you're like every girl i feel like has read it i haven't read it but i feel like we should because i want to know what each of us are maybe that could be the second book you read where it's like you're either like anxious attachment oh yeah and then like well i don't know what the other ones are but i really want to know what i am because i know that whatever i am it's something anxious did not need a doctor to tell you

51:50Paige DeSorbo: don't need to read a whole book darling to tell you that

51:55Hannah Berner: you know what maybe i do need just the dcc cat or coaches to tell me what they're really what the fuck is wrong with me maybe they're maybe actually they have it right maybe they're just

52:07Paige DeSorbo: the bluntness is what the truth is all i want is judy to think i'm i'm cool i'm amazing like all i want is judy to love me after watching it i was like put me in front of judy and and i will say

52:21Hannah Berner: how i i said the same thing for very different reasons i said you know what put me in that room

52:26Paige DeSorbo: right now this is my impression of judy watching me walk into the audition room wait your screen

52:34Hannah Berner: is frozen so i actually can't see you so it's like really annoying me is it how long has it been frozen like five minutes okay well this is how we're ending the episode is my impression

52:48Paige DeSorbo: of me walking into audition room and judy and the other one are there oh she's pear-shaped

52:56Hannah Berner: oh she's pear-shaped oh that's not a pretty smile oh no she didn't oh is she a redhead i don't think a natural one

53:09Paige DeSorbo: oh no why does it look like she's crying every time she smiles

53:13Hannah Berner: okay oh i think her fingers are just as stubby as her legs and i don't think they also say the meanest things in the nicest tone i'm like wait that's really mean her mom

53:27Paige DeSorbo: and never taught her how to use a razor on her thigh.

53:30Hannah Berner: I will say some of the meanest people I've ever met in my whole life, I'm really sorry, but have been Southern. Like they just have been where I'm like, oh my God, I've dealt with, like I've had a girl yell in my face before and she wasn't even this mean. This is scary.

53:51Paige DeSorbo: Yeah. Southern ladies will speak like this and just rip you a new one.

53:55Hannah Berner: Yeah, because there's something very demonic about that they don't change their tone and it's like a nice tone. And it's like, that's the most evil thing I've ever heard. And I think it's something that like they're very vocal about being religious. But I'm like, OK, I don't think he'd approve of that. OK, that's OK.

54:21Paige DeSorbo: Anyway, you guys have the best weekend ever. We love you so much. Thank you for giggling with us. And we'll talk to y 'all later. Bye.

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