Giggling about fainting, dick pills, and weed pens

0:15What's up, Gigglers? I'm saying do I always say that yeah okay because someone ran up to me and they were like what's up galactic well you know what's funny is that's the only word that pops into my head and it's like not giggly squad coded at all it's only g word in the English language quote me it's quote me check it um I want to bring something up immediately yeah this is our first second episode oh right ever oh this is our first second episode yeah and I came with a lot of notes because I was word we'd forget what to say hannah came with a lot of notes because we hung out yesterday which was such a mistake by the way hanging out with us is not fun because we will bring something up start laughing and then one of us goes hold it save it for camera yeah so then dez is sitting there like uh it's also not fun hanging out with us if you're not us i thought you could say in general yeah in general it's not because des was around joe was around and they were just like not speaking and i was like i'm performing with my friend right now also my thing is like we're obviously laughing just add to the laugh just keep laughing with us a joke why don't you participate yeah why don't tag it up but anyway so we're hanging out with hannah we're laughing hysterically and then something happens and she like looks over at a table and there's a book on the table and she was surely someone has been in here broken in stolen your stuff and you've been robbed with other people's things there was a colleen hoover book sitting on the table which i know a man's not reading that book i here's the thing sorry that i want to better myself in 2026 and i just was like i don't read i never read i should read and sometimes i get put on book talk and a girl was like this is the best book ever and the only reason I picked the book I picked is because there's a movie coming out this is my question how much have you actually read it no I just got it but when you saw it it had just been delivered I looked at it looked up at her and I looked at you like I caught you doing crystal meth like I was like do you want to talk about this like does your family know what kind of double life have you been living do I know who you are hannah literally looks at it and goes what the heck is no i got like disturbed because everything i know about you i question now i'm like i didn't know what you were talking about and i was like oh my god what and i was like that's a book like i don't know i envisioned you if you were to read it would be a picture book or a pop culture magazine or self-help or as we like to do we just watch something on netflix and put closed captions and that's reading you want to know what it really boils down to I haven't felt this and I love feeling better than people yeah it's like one of my favorite feelings yeah and I haven't felt that in a while when it when it comes to movies and books one of my favorite things to say is well I read the book and I haven't been able to say it in about 15 years so I was like oh I know this movie's coming out I'm gonna read the book so that when I see the movie I can be like well it was a little different from the book yeah actually people who say that are so fucking smart but i'm that person you know when they always go oh have you read the book you have a couple options yeah you can just say yes and lie and pray they don't have a follow-up question or you say no and then they like explain the book to you which you don't want either or you do what i do and i go skimmed skimmed i saw the first couple of parts the last time i've legitimately been able to say yeah I read the book was The Bridge to Terabethia in 2007.

4:01I'd ever say when I was younger I was an avid reader. And my mom read it to me.

4:10Everyone's like what's the second episode gonna be? The cool thing now it's kind of like okay it's like a PR thing for celebrities who are really good looking and want like respect like you know how like Nickelodeon kids will like do like a slutty movie to be like i'm an adult now what is that it's rebranding baby rebranding 101 yeah why do they always why why are people so mad when people grow up yeah when like like sabrina carpenter i feel like is like the a really good example where she's like i'm not on the disney channel also people don't choose where they start like just because you start somewhere because that's your opportunity doesn't mean you it's like should be engraved people like putting people in a box exactly so there's all these like hot girls recently that are launching book clubs to show that they can read i love it one of them kaya gerber okay another one olivia ponton okay um all gorgeous stunning models who were like by the way join my book club and you're like oh she's multi-dimensional are they meeting or this is like on the internet let's be honest i've never clicked into a book club right so you don't know the actual logistics so and the logistics stress I'm not sure.

5:22Maybe I'll join Kaya Grover's book club. You never know. Or maybe we're not doing a Giggly book club. We don't have the bandwidth. That's actually, then I've really lost the plot. Actually, my mom, who's retired right now, has a book club. Actually, she has a knitting club and another club. She said knitting is the best gossip. Like, she gets there, all they do is gossip. And she couldn't go the last week and she's like, I have so much to be. She's so behind. She's so behind on the gossip. Wait. Speaking of clubs, have you seen the Ashley Tisdale cut article like that was the book i wanted to read this week the cut article but i haven't the book i wanted to read the cut has such small font it it intimidates me did you read the article i didn't read i skimmed i skimmed up i skimmed the article i didn't read the full article but i read like a thing that did like a synopsis of it and it was basically like ashley didn't say any names she basically said how she felt after having a baby and then joining a mom club and how it eventually turned into like just like a friend group it was like a friend group look i'm not like fully abreast on like the mom club situation but i know that that is like a real thing now like did you have to get haze to get in people will have like facebook groups in their area and it's like if you live in this like neighborhood this is the group and then you can like ask the moms different stuff stuff it sounds good in theory yes but in reality yeah a friend group this is why we only have each other as friends like a friend group is so intense because there's just so many different personalities add in your hormonal you like just had a baby you hate your husband you probably hate your husband so she writes this article which actually I thought was is cool of the cut to like have different celebrities like write certain like essays yeah like I think that's fun so she writes this article she basically she does not say anyone's name she does not say the reason like the main reason why she left she puts it all on herself like that she didn't feel included there were certain like situations where she felt like left out I didn't feel included is saying like I was bullied yes Hillary this is our knitting club right now.

7:36Hilary Duff's husband. First of all, nobody's talking about the fact that we're talking about a feud between Ashley Tisdale, Sharpay Evans, and Hilary Duff, Lizzie McGuire. Like, I don't think we're putting enough emphasis on that. Also, like, I didn't know Hilary Duff had a husband. She has a husband. She has. Yes. She has a husband. And huge Hilary Duff fan. Huge. Love her. Love. Really, like, love her stuff. She had a song come out. Let's go. Love her work. I do think and i feel the same way with like reality tv when the ladies get into fights anytime a husband jumps in i'm always like no no no no it's not your like you don't need to do you envision that like he was talking to hillary about it and like i'm just gonna post it or yeah and like maybe she felt a little hurt and then he felt like i have to stick up for you i'm gonna get involved involved um he basically posted a comment that like was since deleted but people obviously screenshotted it saying that ashley tisdale is like a narcissist self-centered um and like that she was the problem but mandy moore was in this group um there was one other famous person oh the blonde megan trainer megan trainer yes look at us i'm like wait what was this mom club like though what did you guys talk about before it failed okay i have multiple thoughts first of all who did ash do you think ashley got really hurt and she was like maybe other moms will relate relate and other moms have left mom groups yes yes but i guess at that level you posting something and not naming names people know it people look people know people know and even Even if we may not know.

9:26Right. But they know. And it was enough to cause a kerfuffle in the community. Ashley writing the article. I have to read the article. She knew what she was doing. Yeah. Like, and I don't think it was a bad thing. She's hurt. Yeah. She was hurt and she wanted to express that she was hurt. Okay. You know what this needs? A reunion. You can host it. Let's get the girls together and let's talk it out like adults. You know what it needs? You know what? Rather than reunions, I think we should start doing. and we'll bring this up to Hulu or Netflix or anyone who's interested we should start doing more of like a Judge Judy thing okay that's crazy you brought that up because you know people always DM us with like issues and stuff I'd love to like bring it on and like they're fighting and we are we will like pick sides after you said on the pod the other day like if you're gonna DM Paige about your boyfriend it's done I got so many DMs like okay I know I should be doing this but just this one situation what do you think and i'm like leave him you i feel like you were judge judy in another life yeah because yeah have you i used to watch judge judy all the time with my grandma and when you like stayed home from school i was just like this which gets it by the way back to my mom's book club um she said it's the funniest thing ever because they all drink during it so like so you read the book and then you go to someone's house and you talk about the book so and you have like a month it's once a month so you have a month and like different people choose the book so like she'll be like oh this month we're reading this but now there's characters in this book club are there any times where you're like didn't read it that's the thing i'm not gonna name names but you know who you are okay one of the moms is just there for the alcohol yeah but it is at her house so everyone lets it go like she hosts she hosts but then every now and then she gets a little too drunk and starts getting into opinions of the book and they're like we know you didn't read it you've never read a book and she's like but i disagree with your opinion a classic 10th grade page and you know and you know guess who's the most fun she is she is so but her husband giggly squad is built on having opinions with no knowledge actually people have asked me opinions on like how to do reality tv and i was like you just have to have a strong opinion whether you care or not that's how you're successful just get an opinion and lean into it even if you're wrong even people asking like advice on podcasting i'm like i don't know what other people do but i know that what we do we will not be suggested so this book club the her husband reads everything and loves it and it's at their house but she's you know drinking this is this is couples oh couples so they all come Sorry, are your parents swingers?

12:09It's giving, swinging season. It's middle of the day, too. And all these couples come together, and they've read the book. And my mom, you know, she's a teacher. She's an avid reader. She's read it. She has an analysis. She's marked pages. My dad tries to. He always falls. Every month he says, I'm going to read it. He falls off, which, you know, like many of us, it's where I get it from. So, yeah, book clubs. Clubs, I think, are back. Bring clubs back. just trying to rack my brain on what fucking club I would ever join at the ripe age of 33 there's not a single club you could get me into right now actually you're right when I was younger I did love like a volleyball club for socializing yeah you've been really going to like Pilates classes though and I feel like you have like friends there like you know the like whatever place you go to you know people there let's just say when i walk in when i walk in i get the you're gonna not i get a not and then someone's a little like i'm like yeah the bathroom's over there like i know what's going on yeah but you have to say i did um faint in my last pilates class no one knows because i'm we're never telling please tell this story because it's so me i'm like when you told story i was shocked so i also i think i i hadn't eaten and when i say i hadn't eaten i think i just had one breakfast like i think it was like around lunchtime like all i had was a burrito and then i had an egg burrito yeah breakfast lunch and dinner and i showed up but was feeling kind of hungry but i was like i could do this and the teacher was tough so it's like a regular pilates class or is this like a pilates like fusion okay i've never done this kind there's you know where there's the second machine it's called like the octagon or something it's called like the guillotine it's like and it has like fur the one that has the bar thing yes yeah the fur things for your like yeah handcuffs and i was just like i'm about to get fucked up like i knew it sponsored by ug australia this is how i knew i was gonna get fucked up because the teacher was like gorgeous skinny and pregnant i would have walked out the motivation just inside that woman's pinky i could never relate she had two abs above her belly and she looked at me and i said you're about you're about to be disgusted by what's gonna happen she was like and how far along are you and i was like it was just a burrito wait imagine you accidentally go to like a lamaze pilates class what is that i mean i made that up but like lamaze is like when you go and like learn how to breathe when you like oh yes yes i'm sure there's somewhere in california they have like pilates slash lamaze you just know like and also she was like nine months and she was just standing there and it was like her fourth class of the day and she's like good morning how are you and I was like her legs like by her head she's like how are you she's take a seat anywhere she was gorgeous to the point that I was gonna ask her like what mascara she used and I looked and I'm like oh that's just her natural her natural um eyelashes so we start and I was like hour class 45 minutes 50 minutes yeah and I was I wanted her to be proud of me like you know some instructors you're like whatever they think I suck I don't care for whatever reason I wanted her to be proud of me and i wanted her i mean she literally should be at home with her baby and she's with me so and there was another girl in the class so it ends up it was supposed to be a full class just two girls so you know yeah it got intense you had a private pilates class accidentally it was the pregnant lady was the instructor oh and then the other girl was like perfect okay and me when you told me the story the other day you made it seem like you were in a mat like a big class and no one saw you slip out to go pass out i didn't realize it was you and another person would were you just like sorry i have to go faint alone somewhere okay so the first 30 minutes you do at the guillotine okay and i like did okay and i was like kind of feeling myself got a little cocky yeah go to the second machine and there's this thing called pikes if you don't know what a pike is it's a plank that then you bring your butt up in the air like a triangle and your head down yep and we just kept doing pikes like to the point where i was like this is how i die and the blood's like rushing to my head so i think i was like shaking my head so then we get up and we have to put our leg on this wooden this is the contraptions are being i was like who what sick fuck invented this it's a guy invented pilates joe joseph yeah so it's this is that his name joseph pilates he's italian joey pilates so it's this wooden thing have you ever seen that swivels so you have to put your foot on this thing that swivels and then put your leg on the machine and try to keep your foot from swiveling that threw me into a tailspin i felt really out of control and the next thing you know i started to get light and by the way it's me and one other girl like she's and also it was the kind of thing where like you know when you want to do it right but you literally can't and then the instructor's like lifting i'm like i know what i should be doing i literally can't do this right now so i'm like also once one body part starts shaking you're like and i'm done for it like you can't i can't undo that also body parts are shaking that aren't even working hard so i'm like fully like a baby deer just trying to do this exercise and then i think I scared myself because I was like I'm scared and then I got lightheaded and then I started having like a mini panic attack and then you know you're scared you're gonna pass out yeah and then you know when you're watching yourself have a panic attack yeah looking around like you're like no one's noticing that inside I'm dying no there's some did your vision go that's always my first indication yeah it all was like wow so in that moment I had a bunch of different voices I said Hannah suck it up you're doing Pilates yeah a pregnant lady is bossing around you could do this then a part of me was like call 911 call the police you just start smiling like Lenore you're like it hurts less if you smile do you know what I actually did now I remember because I blacked it out I started just messing with my socks I started getting off the machine just messing with my socks yeah like oh I'm just like fixing something yeah my sock is like did you have water yeah but it was also like the other girl was fine yeah i mean the other girl was like breezing she was like this is easy so i mess with both my socks i've ran out of sock options i can't think of another sock to mess with and i know the instructor it's not like i'm in a big class finance bro should come out with a line of socks and name it sock options like stock options anyway email me later about it okay so you're like i've fiddled with enough dogs i need a game plan here so i just go i have to go to the bathroom yeah so how many minutes are left in the class at this point you know when you don't even yeah you're like i don't care another hour i think there was like 20 minutes left okay so i go to the bathroom i shut the door and i just fall on the floor yeah best feeling of my life yeah laying down on a cold stranger's bathroom floor nothing like it i mean i was at peace for the first time in my life some would say my whole life went flashing by me i saw me as a child playing with butterflies now imagine a d1 redhead saying oh do you feel like you're gonna pass out head towards the stage in that exact moment and you're like all i want is a tile floor i'm lying there and i'm just i'm getting my breath and in that moment i know if i can get it together pretty quick i still can get out of this without making a scene like why wouldn't you just say guys i'm gonna literally pass out because i have that is such a great question i could not admit that like i was falling apart interesting and that's my childhood see okay because then i'm i'm not a good person this is where we're different when something traumatic happens to us you're like no it didn't no one noticed it i'll deal with it later where i'm like i'll deal with this in 10 years people should be arrested because i'm feeling attacked well it's funny you're like they're the problem where me i'm like i'm the problem and i don't want immediately like you're the problem i'm i'm the one who has an issue so i'm laying down and then i realize like i can tell her i have my period like i start coming up with all these lies like god forbid i just say i got lightheaded in your class i'm sorry but i'm like i have a reputation uphold in this town so i i get up and i start washing my hands and i realize wait i feel okay okay like i think you know how like cold water actually on your wrist probably i also feel like i didn't go into a full panic attack you know when you feel it coming on and you're like not today motherfucker i've had that before where you feel it and then you go I can get out of it now and I wish I could give you guys good advice besides laying on the bathroom floor but that's what did it for me yeah get back like nothing happened just kept going wow you just had like then you were just like dehydrated you weren't like I'm starving I ate a french fry I came back in wait did you tell your mom this story no I don't want her being worried about me oh my god but she'll call me afterwards she'll call me afterwards and I would be like mom that's why i have to eat seven meals a day so i don't faint and that's why i don't go to potties anymore you know but anyway anyhow um wait can we just you have something well i just want to talk about men yeah we built a whole career on it and i feel like this is one thing we haven't talked about men which is hard to find but their bathroom routines their bathroom breaks their bathroom breaks because I didn't realize this was a thing yeah some men are fast with it but there is an epidemic out there when when men take poops they make it a ritual a ritual they make it like main character energy they take a whole business day they put it like on their calendar you like can't contact them during it and they also um they do this thing where they like slip away yes you know like they're like i'll be right back like they and you're like okay and then four hours go by and you're like wait what happened in there and i feel like mothers probably deal with this where like you have kids running around and your husband disappears because he has to poop which i'm gonna be honest i can't tell you the last time i took a regular

22:53how nice must it be it's so fucking easy being a man like they're regulated their their hormones are never going crazy but this is the thing they're not like in my head it's like oh they're taking like these huge massive poops that take forever i don't look they're on their phone they're on their phone getting away from yeah which yes that's what i did during pilates but men do it all the time i even think like at work like they're first of all they're getting paid more anyway and then they're spending two hours in the bathroom at work which i do commend to anyone that can go to the bathroom in a public place like talk about having a panic attack I'll have to lay on the floor like I remember growing up even being in school like I've went home sick before because I'm like mom I really just have to go to the bathroom so I'm in a lot of public bathrooms yeah wait I love that you had to go home or to pee there are so many times in high school like that my mom would be at work and I would call my grandma and I'd be like you have to call the school and she'd be like I'm not even your mom and I'd be like call now my head public bathrooms like that's where I go off like I'm not disrespecting no I get too like nervous I also feel like that's a bathrooms of four and I have to like but I don't I can't hold it in yeah I'm just I can't be fake sorry I can't be fake yeah sorry I'm a real one but I also I don't know I feel like with the the men with the bathroom it's um they get respect when they like you give respect it's like football sundays yes you're like oh sorry my mom had to use the bathroom with the door open just in case a kid like wanted to jump off a table right literally i couldn't even i as a child i can't even remember my mom using the bathroom my mom wasn't allowed to use i don't think she ever showered i think for 14 years the woman stayed unshowered and never peed my recent issue because i have a lot of public i'm always in airports i'm all i'm at restaurant whatever i always run into a giggler in the bathroom stop it happens every day i was there and also i'm always talking so everyone's like we can hear you i was gonna say you're always talking so people can recognize your voice where i feel like when i'm out they're like is that is it and i'm like yes and also if i'm with des he's like big and white haired so he's like a shining light and everyone sees him but like even yesterday at the pilates class in the bathroom well first of all i can't find the bathroom i'm like walking down the hallways and someone's like hey i'm a giggler the bathroom's over here you dumb fuck and i was like i love you thank you did you go did you tell her that you fainted in it that was pre-faint got it now that i think about it so when you went back into the room did the pregnant instructor or the other girl taking the class be like are you okay no i didn't make eye contact i just kept going oh so they had no idea no okay actually it's funny my memory they probably were like yeah that girl had a full break down mid-class and then didn't say anything but um no i go into the bathroom before the class and this giggler was like so nice we were laughing having fun and then i'm like okay i'm gonna go in the stall and then we have to like use the bathroom next to each other and obviously it's like pre-pilates you got to get stuff out and i'm like oh my god am i ruining oh my god cool and then i like farted in the bathroom she's texting her friend she's like i just met hannah and she's shitting next to me.

26:18If you have a bathroom story with me, that's a, I don't know, I think it's a beautiful connection. Wait, I was just looking at our notes and sometimes Grace will write notes too. Like, oh, this was funny, I saw it. You guys should talk about it. But she wrote a note and I'm worried. I was writing in Grace's notes. Oh, because I was like, this is so not Grace. She wrote, when people mistreat you, it's because they think you're you're better than them and they want to bring you down to their level no matter how much status or power they have they are insecure grace are you going through this really i literally read it and i was like grace would never first of all grace doesn't care what other people think about her great at all at all i that was our mental health moment oh okay sorry i didn't mean to ruin it but what a word salad because i was really i almost texted grace this morning like hey is everything good at home no it was if people mistreat you no matter seriously but when you're treated bad you you sometimes don't realize that it is just them projecting on you and but then you know when you're treated bad by like a boss or someone who's like considered you know higher status or cooler like in high school some someone who thinks they're cool is mean to you and you actually realize it's because they see something in you that you don't see in yourself and they're insecure and they want to bring you down and that's honestly the biggest compliment ever and now that i think every time i felt someone was mean to me i'm like that was a compliment yeah it is it really is like if no one's mean to you like you're not doing enough yeah if no one's mean to you it sounds like you're being mean to people oh you're the meanie you're the meanie i saw a quote that was like i don't think i'm better than you you think i'm better than you and that's why you hate everything i do and I was like oh my god yes oh my god well also at the end of the day most people aren't fucking thinking about you so everyone needs to come not in general like if you're obsessed with other people how they think about you it's like they're worrying about that's why like themselves actually not to bring it back to Pilates but whenever I do go to a Pilates class like or any workout class or like just the gym I'm like going in I'm like oh my god everyone's looking at me because I'm doing it wrong or like everyone is so like judging me or whatever but they're not because everyone's thinking about themselves exactly it's like no one's thinking about me because I'm thinking about me exactly and our last mental health moment of the day which grace actually did write um Chelsea Handler oh no I had another one I added why are you writing under grace like well grace wrote something kind of inspirational and then I wanted to keep it all together look don't don't worry about my methods the message to my madness um this is a real mic drop okay how can it be unrealistic if other people have it i reposted that on tiktok oh sorry oh so you actually wrote it yeah i wrote it the last one shout out to chelsea handler who just that just made me think of like that's why you like saying oh i read the book because it feels like you wrote it like you're like you wouldn't get it because you haven't read this masterpiece you've only experienced the movie i wrote it with the author it was a collab i was asked like what i wanted to put in you're like i'm the only person that's ever read this book okay sorry keep going chelsea said we neglect to reflect about how far we've come don't forget your younger self is always with you so that's just a cute moment also i think the world isn't giving enough credit to now only women host award shows.

30:03Yeah, because we are socially aware and we know how to like be funny without like hurting people. Yes. Because we have empathy. I can't wait to watch Nikki Glaser do Golden Globes again. Yeah, Chelsea can do it in her sleep. Nikki can do it in her sleep. It's true. I'm so anxious to see who they get for the Oscars. because i also feel like no one is even like i haven't seen any articles or headlines or anything about how like women are dominating hosting i would say amy poehler except amy's too busy like amy doesn't want to still talk about amy poehler and tina fay i know hosting or presenting they're exhausted they're like we can't do this all the time but you know what i also don't like the oscars as a man they get a man for the oscars in the two smallest award shows they give to the women oh i never thought of that because like the last guy i can think of hosting the oscars conan last oscars oh he did yeah i don't remember that we were busy do a good job we were busy during that week i think he well conan's like a bully conan's fine he wasn't doing last time a guy hosted it when i was like he was funny it was like ricky gervais they loved like would never have him back they like jimmy kimmel they like trevor noah but um sorry did i black out when the hell did trevor noah host the oscars i don't remember that at all there was a time where he hosted like every award show he was like the guy but by the way hosting an award show is i couldn't imagine is very difficult i think chelsea's so good at it because she knows everyone for so long like yeah so it's it's so much easier saying a joke to your friend yeah than a joke to someone who you're literally like I can't believe I'm making eye contact with this person I just think it's funny that like when the men do host it's like oh my god Kevin Hart's hosting oh my god Kevin Hart said no to hosting and like there's no it's never like a big deal yeah about like people I really feel like didn't make a big enough deal that it was Nikki's first time ever hosting an award show yeah and she crushed it yeah like if that was a guy they'd be like he is just the best host the best stand-up of all time have you seen the share interview

32:30she comes out of nowhere and now we've said it and just lays down the law i'm obsessed with her If you haven't seen the clip, Cher's on the, what is the name of Dax? Armchair expert. On Dax Shepard's podcast, which people love. He does have a great podcast. He always has like good, interesting guests and stuff. And so Kristen Bell was on and Cher was on. And they were talking about like how, what a good relationship they have. Because they did like the movie Burlesque. Oh, I forgot about that. And then Dax asked Cher, who would be your dream guy for Kristen? Like, who do you think would be better suited with her?

33:09Which is him basically saying, I know that you think I'm not good enough for her. And he did say, he was like, I know you think she could do better, which I don't disagree with. But who in your head would you like think? And Cher was like, I have no idea. Like, I have not thought of a specific person. but then she goes i trust kristin so much that if she loves you there must be something about you that i'm not seeing which is incredible if i was dax i would have been like okay and i gotta go because she's basically saying if you don't have the greatest dick alive which you probably don't you should not be with her but also i love that i feel like he was too scared to have her on alone he needed to bring Kristen because she's like close with her yeah to do a one-on-one no I do think it like I feel like Kristen was like oh shoot like then like is she gonna say an actual person like you can tell that Kristen got like a little anxious which like obviously and then when Cher said it she like laughed and was like that was great and they were like clip this this isn't directly pointed at Dax because we love men in the arts but I just have to say a shout out in general Of all the men that have podcasts, I do enjoy, like I've listened to his.

34:29I do enjoy his the most of, sometimes it's like two guy-ish and I'm almost like, I don't even understand that reference. I don't even know what the fuck you're talking about. Philippians? I'm like, okay. What is Cialis? I almost got stuck in a conversation where men were talking about air conditioning and I was like, I need to get the fuck out of here. You know what that isn't talked about enough? is that you can get like boner pills like the gas station like oh okay there's tax on tampons but let's make sure you can get hard at 7-eleven that's inappropriate yeah one thing we need less of is hard men if you're soft you're soft for a reason that's the universe sorry whatever happened to darwinism do you think darwinism wanted dick pills at 7-eleven no no actually guys say that like they're really dangerous like you should not take this because once i i saw them and i was like what is that what if i accidentally took it because i thought it was like for uti i don't think it would do anything we'll see we don't try it later we'll keep you guys cannon page tricealis um i was gonna say though with men older men who do plastic surgery there's like another level of sickness to it when it comes out like it doesn't look good because i'm like first of all you don't even have societal standards making you have bad plastic surgery like women who have bad plastic surgery i'm like let her live yeah she's doing her best when men get bad plastic surgery i'm like you didn't even need this and you fucked it up how did we get here bro and some are you referring to anyone specific because i have one person in my head not kind of there's just some guys who are older and looking funky like they haven't figured it out yet like bradley cooper bradley cooper i feel like he did something and i'm like they messed it up a little there you're just something slightly off as someone who loves the look of an older man yeah i want to see those wrinkles i want to see the pain you've been through in your life i want you to look tired for like 30 years he's so like but yeah bradley would be so hot as an older chiseled tired man yeah like i would say you don't need to be fresh-faced at 62 no especially as a man if you're fresh-faced at 62 you didn't work no i and i want some grays i want salt and pepper hair i want you to walk kind of slower i want you to have like a limp because you need a hip replacement I want you to not be that quick so I can get away.

37:12I need to. Someone said flirting in your 30s is like, so is your lower back okay?

37:20Wait, people don't talk about how intimate it is being like, where's your pain? Do you have sciatica yet? How's your L4? Wait, what is up with men loving sciatica? I feel like that's like a word they learned and they just have been running with it. It's like crypto. No. It's the body version of crypto. I've not heard the word sciatica ever in my life. And I feel like in the past two years, I've had multiple men that I don't even really know that they're like, my sciatica. Exactly. What is that? Also, when you're like younger, you remember Ariana Grande? I almost said Ariana. But she dyed her hair brown.

37:58Thank God. Yep. But Ariana said, you know, you got me walking side to side. when you're younger if like if anything feels anything after you're like oh he blew my brains out where now it's like my lower back's always that's what that means yeah he's got me walking side to side what did you think it meant i have no idea like i thought just rhymed side to side side rhymes with whatever the line was i don't like to look into the lyrics really i mean thank god we didn't personal thing for them thank god we didn't the stuff that we were singing when we were nine years old did you watch any of the new year's stuff do you know that this is the first year i didn't and i was home like i didn't go out this year for new year's and it was the first time i didn't watch any new year's eve like why do you think and how does that make you Why do I think?

38:56I think, well, I think it's so, it's for older people. And I do feel like traditional like TV, like if, okay, here's a great example. If Netflix had one, like if Netflix had a New Year's Eve thing and it was like a bunch of celebrities that I know who they are and they're famous right now, currently, I probably would have watched it but sometimes like like traditional news places that do like a new year's eve thing every year they have so much so many rules because it's like yeah this is network tv like you can't say that there could be kids watching or like we have laws and stuff like that so it's just like not as unhinged as i feel like it could be i i like to play there's like the cnn one there's the cbs and then abc or something i don't know but it and anyone would go to commercial then I go the other one and then it was like that one's in a commercial and then I was like I do like thinking that like secretly Ryan Seacrest and Andy Cohen and Anderson Cooper are like in a group chat like the day before New Year's Eve like you're going down like you know like I do like to think that there's some type of rivalry.

40:05It's funny because they are filming right next to each other right they're in Times Square. I think also booking the gig. They're probably now that I think about it there's just so many studios they're probably in this are they in the same building they could be that's the reality i want to watch um but i i feel like also it's a hard gig to book like because who wants to be performing on new year's eve on new year's eve in the freezing cold in time square yeah people are they rip people apart if they lip sync and if they don't lip sync okay i have a really hot take that is probably gonna be rude.

40:42If you go to Times Square and you're not hosting the New Year's Eve show, you're there as a patron of the Times Square New Year's Eve, you should not be allowed to vote. Paige. Because in what worlds do you have the same common sense or reasoning as the rest of America? Paige the Sorbo. Those are the people I was talking about last episode, which you guys can can listen to if you haven't um on monday about some people just enjoy what events i mean what the fuck was that imagine like being so excited to be like i'm gonna go to time square for new year's and stand there it's gonna be awesome like i wish i could get a high from that these people are jacked up like it brings some joy no there's something to miss going on there you think they're ai yeah there's something weird happening you're you're telling me there's that many people that electively it's fucking freezing and you can't once you leave you can't come back so you're not only signing up for it to be freezing for hours but you're also going to give yourself a uti it yeah 100 that someone they're just spreading like no what are They literally interviewed the front row and they were like, I've been here and I'm wearing a diaper.

42:04And the one guy was like, I'm wearing a pad. And everyone in the comments was like, you don't have to. No, that's not. You've peed your pants. Yeah. Like no pad in the world is soaking up you peeing your pants. Not to be like an annoying New Yorker, but I used to live, don't forget all this, right by Times Square in Hell's Kitchen. and at one point like I had to get to my place and they were like you can't go because it was like the day and I was like no I live there they're like you can't cross this and I'm like I can't get to my house and it was like took like 30 minutes of talking to different cops to try to get to my apartment because my ID said like an old apartment from the year before and it was I like couldn't get home don't get me started on the parades in New York City the amount of times I've been like but I live here and they're like no also I had a epiphany the other day that sometimes um sometimes I'm annoying I think that's like in your 30s you start realizing like in what context just like you have flaws and that's okay I think your 20s you're trying to be perfect yeah then you'd be like I don't have I don't have flaws then you're trying to like hide your flaws then by your 30s you're like yeah that's me like I'm so annoying about being from New York like I was talking to someone the other day and I could just hear myself talking and I was like shut up like I just got my driver's license like I can't function anywhere but New York yeah and like just like normalizing being like oh that's an annoying side of me that like we'll work on that like New York is your personality yeah I'm trying to think what's like the most annoying thing I've done recently that I've like clocked like wow that's annoying as fuck I feel like in your 20s you ignore it where your 30s you're more open to yes to yes because you're like I'm evolving there's so many more times in my 30s that in my head I've been like yeah I handled that wrong that was on me and that's maturity and that was a bitchy thing to say or like that was just like a rude thing to do where in my 20s I'd be like get over it can I just say something though like I know we joke that you're mean and rude to everyone you've never you've never been rude to me no it's kind of like a persona that like well you want to know what you've never even got mad at me before no and you're always like oh I got mad about this you've never gotten like mad yeah because that's I love you okay you're like you get away with so much this is so long ago and I forgot to bring it up on the pod what so a couple weeks ago there was um you know when um randomly on tiktok everyone was getting like videos that like they were like I saw this last week or like I saw this last month or whatever that happens all the time I was going through that and there was a TikTok that I had seen before and I I must have seen it in like the middle of the night because I didn't comment on it and I like wanted to this girl made this TikTok and she was like she's like very obvious that Paige loves Hannah so much more than Hannah loves Paige and like she wasn't even being like mean in it and she was like this is why I think this like I just don't think and she goes like all these explanations and wait what did she say I have to find it but they're like the way Hannah looks at Paige sometimes and I commented and I was like that fucking bitch oh so you're like yeah but no no people like don't think that we would be friends because we're so different but what people don't realize is that I don't feel comfortable with people like you

45:37and that's exactly it i don't feel safe don't trust her when i see someone who moves like me you go i don't need that energy in my life no but i think it's a self-awareness thing where i'm like i'm annoying about certain things that i should not be annoying about like clothes and shoes and and like I have to, where you don't care about that stuff. So it's almost like an escape of my own brain to be with you. That's why we're with men. Because occasionally you have something that's like pissing you off and then you say it to them and their perspective helps us. Yeah. Like we need that occasionally.

46:13But also with you, there was a second where I'm like, why does she like me? And then I met one of like your old childhood friends who's like just like me too. You like to surround yourself with like people who don't take themselves too seriously. Your brother is also like me. Who did you meet of my childhood friends? Stephanie. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. She's outgoing, cool. She's personality. It's not like all your friends are a type of way and I'm like a cold sore. Except the one dinner you brought me to and I was like, hi, gosh. If anything, I really don't have any. I would say the closest girlfriend that I have that is like exactly like me.

46:52I don't have any. Do you know what's so funny too? all my friends growing up were always like the pretty girly like hot girl and I would like live vicariously through all her like boy stories because I was scared do you know that growing up my best friend from literally kindergarten to college literally my whole life she was like number one on the softball team number one on the basketball team and I was just like yeah she's a fucking athlete and you love that about her but you weren't competing yeah because I was like oh my god look at her go where she didn't give a shit about can i tell you my best friend in high school well i got to high school in junior year halfway through junior year because i transferred from a tennis academy so middle junior year i show up to beacon high school raise my hand in a class like crazy behavior and after the class the most beautiful girl in the class like high cheekbones blue eyes comes up to me and she's just like you don't have anywhere to go to lunch with do you and you go out to lunch and be again like it's like cool like it's a whole thing and i was like no she takes me out to lunch immediately i'm like you're my favorite person in the world does nice thing ever and then fast forward a couple months later she pulls out a cigarette and starts smoking you remember yeah i literally take her cigarette and i throw it out it's literally so me and you because she was just like a bad girl and she's like oh this guy whatever and i'm like get the cigarette you're gonna die and she's like oh like we're so different but like we just loved each other and she'd be waiting at my locker every day my favorite moment is just like watching you try and smoke weed wait can i tell a story that i don't think we ever told that happened on reality tv me smoking weed everyone had like there was a weed pen going around at one point yes it was mine yeah it wasn't going around i was just hitting it and we for some reason were like hiding in a closet yep it was it was me you and amanda you had just come home from somewhere and something and me and amanda were in the closet something like i was really you were upset and i remember you being like hannah just hit this yeah i'm like okay fine and i'm so dramatic about it like i'm about to do heroin for the first time i put up to my mouth no idea what to do no idea what to do not doing it right suck in don't even know how to do it was trying to do it then a guy i'd been talking to comes by sees me holding it gets mad at me for smoking weed i then go i don't know how to smoke weed i didn't know what i was doing we get into a whole thing he's mad at me you guys are laughing wait i forgot about that no i got in like huge i forgot about that second part i literally like stopped remembering i was like i don't even know how to inhale and he's like how do not know how to inhale i'm like i'm really dumb and scared and i don't know what's happening wait i forgot about that i think that was the day that i was like he's a loser also i was like i didn't even i was like we're 25 we're gonna hit the weed pen you fucking narc like that was wild behavior on his part i was like literally get out of my face wow that was a trip down memory lane that was i want to make one quick announcement too i posted my nail situation i got my nails done i got my first russian manicure do you love i want to say these women yeah are scientists yeah i haven't gotten one yet and everyone says once you get one you'll never go back she did nip one of my cuticles and i she hit an artery yeah you like bled a little yeah i bled a little and it's kind of hurting and if it gets infected you could die but besides that i feel very wait do you want to know what's crazy is like that's true no my friend told me a story of a girl who had to go to the hospital because of a manicure no people have gotten their fucking feet chopped off because of like a pedicure gone awry yeah like a set like you become like septic yeah someone had to like miss a wedding because of it which was a great idea but when i broke my nail um and the way they create a new nail based off of just the like clay is yeah 3d printing yeah and it's just a lady with a like a literal wooden stick i'm like how did you create a whole new nail bed like it's incredible the work that they've done yeah it is and I just want to raise awareness for like do you want to every time I get my nails done I don't I think this is because I have anxiety that I like I randomly will just like shake it's not good but like if I have to do something with my hands like I'm gonna shake a little and it's the diet coke just raging through your veins you're like

51:40no so I always think when I'm getting my nails done when they're painting I'm like every time I'm like I would have fucked that up right there at that party. I would have fucked that up to like It's so crazy how they can do it Artisans my final thought which is a meme that I saw that made me laugh really hard So I want to say it out loud to the gigglers someone wrote does ben affleck only know two women Wait, this is so bad because I am a fan of Ana de Armas. I think she's Stunning. I think she's a good actress like This is so mean. Oh my god. I'm trying to be self-aware but like this is me whenever I can't do something or I think like I'm gonna be bad at that or like I've never tried that before like it's probably not my hidden talent I always think if Ana de Armis can be Marilyn Monroe I can do anything mental health moment of the year no that's so true blonde doesn't go with her and usually I don't think about bad movies years later for whatever reason that movie really stuck in my brain I think because I was do you want to know as I was watching it, it was going through a man's phone.

52:49There's so much lore there. But I think about it all the time. I go, Ana de Armas, I can do this. And that's what we're going to leave you guys with. I hope you enjoyed our first. First second episode. We doubled up, double Oreo this week. We're going to be different. Some days we're going to do one topic. We're going to have gigglers write in, like you have to talk about this. like things that we didn't touch on. Sometimes we might have a guest. Sometimes I might not show up. You know, different stuff could happen. We're free falling. We love you guys so much. And thank you for giggling. Bye.