Giggling about gold diggers, mean girls, and nudes

0:00Paige DeSorbo: This is Bobby from The Bobby Bone Show.

0:02Hannah Berner: The Hyundai getaway sales event is going on now.

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1:55Paige DeSorbo: hey look i've been traveling yeah all weekend i've been in in four different states no i actually

2:02Hannah Berner: felt really bad today because look i wanted to cancel and that's not like crazy i'm on a four

2:09Paige DeSorbo: hour flight trying to get back to record in the studio with Paige and I'm like I'm gonna do it for the gigglers I'm getting there we're getting in the studio I get a text hey you want to do virtual and I said I did not fly four hours to get here on time we're filming and I'm in my

2:25Hannah Berner: sunglasses and my glasses well we're filming it's night time and so like past a certain point in the day yeah I'm a baby that's it I'm done and I'm on this new thing where like I just wake up every day at 4 30 and then i'm up oh kitty's loving it because she's been eating at 6 a.m so she's

2:44Paige DeSorbo: pumped i do have to say 4 30 a.m that's too much day for me no it's way too much day so today at four i was like i've done a day well i landed was like bitch get your ass to the studio and then i was like yellow card i was like what did i what did i miss over the weekend did anything happen crazy stuff has went down yeah did you hear 12 tons of kit kats were robbed in europe there was a kit kat robbery heist may have been kinder bueno sending out a hit wait like 12 where

3:16Hannah Berner: i don't know what a ton is but it sounds like a lot i think of a ton as like one elephant okay

3:24Paige DeSorbo: 12 of them i didn't even know kit kats could weigh that much because they're wafers where on a train in europe so like now i have to wait for the documentary i don't know i don't i don't think so it's come up in multiple possible ai posts right we don't

3:41Hannah Berner: know if anything's real anymore um i came to the pod and i said i have one thing and one thing only to speak about and it could take the full 45 minutes not the first time it's happened have Have you seen on the internet a thing called catching print?

3:58Paige DeSorbo: I have not. I have not. Please educate me. Take a seat if you weren't already sitting. Wait, let me get my notes. Let me get my favorite pencil. A man. Okay, I'm out. A gay man. No, a gay man.

4:12Hannah Berner: And we're back in. A gay man came on the internet and said, girls, enough time has gone by. Enough is enough. basically you have been what's the word manipulated yeah like your looks are so prominent on how you get treated you need to start knowing how big men's penis sizes are and I'm gonna teach you so it's taking hold of TikTok it's literally taking hold of the internet because when I first saw it I felt like it was very niche I was in a weird pocket I was in like a small corner of the internet and i was like this is so interesting wait till the girls catch on and as the days go by the the girls are making videos about it so you know in like a pant a normal pant for a man like a jean or a chino and wear this sorry i love how you say chino chino

5:06Paige DeSorbo: chino have you seen that girl there's a girl doing a whole series about words she loves that you say I think the one that I saw was she was like, when Paige says loser, it's like you feel it in your core. You go loser. You're a loser. Oh.

5:23Hannah Berner: No, and that's my Kourtney Kardashian. You're a loser. Yeah. And she also likes the way I say sugar. And I loved it.

5:32Paige DeSorbo: She was like, she makes it sound so good. It's funny because we don't listen to each other talk, so we don't know how we sound. So that was very fun for us. but I do have to say like girls with boobs they're basically like chest bulges like you can see our

5:45Hannah Berner: yeah like you know you know what you're getting you can see our butts you know what you're getting why can't we see so it's very yeah and people treat you completely differently like you're a perfect example no one knows you have tits no one knows because I cover them up and you do that

5:59Paige DeSorbo: purposefully I do it purposefully because I don't want people to treat me better because of my beautiful breasts see i'd be too powerful and i'd use it for evil for pure evil straight evil but i was gonna say you've stuffed your bras a couple nights and it's gotten crazy

6:18Hannah Berner: you put a little chicken filet a little chicky chicky you know the other day i put my nipple pads on that is when you're like so take them off it looks red sticky you can't go out like that

6:31Paige DeSorbo: Didn't you get the ones that have like a fake piercing?

6:34Hannah Berner: I sure did. But you couldn't really tell. What do we call her? That's not Paige. No, I don't know who she is. I haven't even really given her a name yet. Because she hasn't really experienced the town. Well, because I can't get drunk. I just like vomit. So it's a whole thing. That's Penelope. I can't think of any other P names. No, it's more like she's like Priya. Priya, yes. She's like, she's really smart, but she's really slutty. And she's fun. Yeah, she's fun. Paige is a businesswoman. Yeah, she is just like, she's doing her tuning forks. She's got a red light.

7:10Paige DeSorbo: Priya will cancel plans in a second if someone has more drugs at the next party. A hundred percent.

7:15Hannah Berner: Back to catching print. So like, I don't even know what it's called on like where their zipper, like it's basically like the little, I mean, it has to have a word. I want to say lapel, but like, that's not what it is. The zipper for a pant. Yeah, this is a preferred pant. So where the bulge starts would classify how big a man's penis is. Now, it's trial and error. You have to learn. So I've watched so many videos.

7:41Paige DeSorbo: And they're showing examples of like Jon Hamm's pants.

7:44Hannah Berner: Showing examples. If it's straight, like flat, there's no bulge, huge. If it starts, like the bulge starts up at the top, small. the majority go right in the middle and you're like average and it is interesting because all of the examples he was showing you could tell by that man's personality like they carry themselves so much more with how they look under clothes than I think we do I do have to say the guy I was with

8:16Paige DeSorbo: with the biggest penis um he was one of the nicest guys ever but I actually felt bad for him because he was it was to a point where like his life was harder because of it like i knew okay

8:28Hannah Berner: no like like someone listening to this is like we hate men we're like we support them actually

8:34Paige DeSorbo: no but he was sweet and you could just tell that he's there's been many a woman be like you know what this including myself it's too much i can't do this i don't want to do a whole breathing routine. You're kidding me. Yeah, you don't feel like you're getting divergenated every time. It's not, I mean, it's not fun.

8:54Hannah Berner: I don't know if I've ever been in this situation. Now, I've been in the opposite one. I'm like, let's sit down. Let's talk about it. You definitely have trauma here. And I'm not going to tell anyone.

9:03Paige DeSorbo: But what about the grower versus shower theory? Yeah. Which is real.

9:08Hannah Berner: Totally. He didn't touch on it. He didn't touch on it.

9:12Paige DeSorbo: Okay, so there's

9:12Hannah Berner: there's factors but there is i definitely could see where he was coming from i'm trying to think

9:19Paige DeSorbo: of like one example i love that the gay man was like girls get it together as someone who knows yeah let me tell you but then there's all these other things like looking at forearms looking at hands looking at i do i do think if he has thick fingers there's something there yeah absolutely one time in band camp

9:42Hannah Berner: i really hate even i really hate that i'm even about to tell this story but it popped in my head and so like i feel like when that happens on giggly squad you have to say it's like god

9:52Paige DeSorbo: being like bring it to the floor i've given you this forum share share with the class

9:58Hannah Berner: one time i dated this guy this is years ago years ago so please don't judge me i dated this guy and I found out that he was in fact cheating on me. Fine, totally, do your thing. I found out because I went through his phone. But I saw that he was in fact sending spicy mirror pics, which I thought that was for girls, but totally do your thing.

10:25Paige DeSorbo: Do you think a full body pic that a guy sends nude is?

10:30Hannah Berner: That's gay, 100%. I agree. Now he was in boxers, okay, when he sent this picture. So he was just sending her a face card? He's like, do you like Fruit of the Loom? Like, I don't know what their interaction is. He was looks-maxing, whatever the kids are doing. It was just weird. But anyway, I'll never forget being in this moment because I'm, like, pouring myself into this cell phone and I'm reading all these messages and I see this picture pop up. And so I'm zooming in and I'm like, Like, in what world is that your penis in that picture? Hannah? I forget. Now, this is going back. Like, I'm going back over 10 years.

11:10Hannah Berner: Like, maybe 10 years, whatever. I know that I was home alone for whatever situation. Or maybe he was in the other room. Maybe I was on an iPad. I don't know. But I know that I was in the bedroom by myself. I found what I believe he was stuffing his pants with.

11:28Paige DeSorbo: and I you are an investigative journalist and if anyone tells you you're not they're lying and I just had a moment where I was like no something's mentally wrong with him socks but the way he crafted it are more similar than different you go babe get a chicken cutlet

11:48Hannah Berner: I'm like wait I could it's gonna be somewhat squishy it has to look believable for these photos that he sent for these photos it was such a jarring time in my life that i couldn't even make sense of it and i'm gonna be honest i don't think i've ever told anyone that story because i was so embarrassed and freaked out so i just thought like let's just wait 10 years and i'll tell millions

12:11Paige DeSorbo: now the girls have something else to watch out for isn't that so weird and creepy there was a time when like we had flip phones when we were 14 you couldn't really like you'd send like this was iphone days but i'm saying in general like there was a time where we were told like if you send a nude yeah it will go everywhere yeah and you'll die i'll never forget remember

12:34Hannah Berner: in like 2012 when all the girls like iclouds got hacked and their pictures got leaked yeah and the whole narrative online was you're famous why would you have nude pictures do you remember that let a girl have fun no let a girl have before and after let her have some whimsy let me like let me do what i want in the mirror you know but that terrified me and in my life for some reason i remember the time you sent me like that nude when it was like but it was like

13:00Paige DeSorbo: a shadow like it wasn't you it was so whenever i send a nude it has to somehow be funny or artsy And arguably, possibly not me. So I always think I'm going to be in a scandal where I could be like, that wasn't me.

13:15Hannah Berner: Why do you look like you are an only van manager? Like, I just got a glimpse of you and I'm like, I feel like you're going to steal me after this pod. You're going to be like, hey, Paige, get in this van while you're at it. I look like a sketchy producer.

13:31Paige DeSorbo: I can't see or hear right now. You guys, I've had a weekend. I've had a weekend. No, how many shows did you do this weekend? Well, I realized when I did the math, I'm going to be at 65 shows for this tour. I have two more left in North Carolina and then I'm done. Did I have strep throat this weekend? Probably. Did I? It was tough. Yeah. It was. Where did you go? Where were you? I was in Cleveland, Columbus, Cincinnati and Salt Lake City. How are they all doing? How are the Mormons? Oh my God. The Mormons are great. I kind of walked on and I was like, you guys are the center of everything right now.

14:05Paige DeSorbo: Yeah. I'm in the belly of the beast right now but the Mormons

14:12no there's just so much scandal happening like a book I also book a Mormon um I said told them I

14:19Paige DeSorbo: know about the white salamander I said thank you for your work in genealogy or whatever they're into but I tried it's like when you're talking shit about someone and then they walk into the room that's how I felt with the Mormons like I'm like you guys know what I've what I've said in

14:32Hannah Berner: some podcasts you know like when we were in high school like something would happen over the weekend you'd be like wow when i show up to homeroom like monday morning i'm gonna kill myself that's just like going on tiktok now like it's truly just like opening your phone it's like wow okay so everyone knows about it got it it's too much it's too much i'm like in the need of a phone break i think you go on the bench hannah's gonna sit this one out because it's not healthy

15:04Paige DeSorbo: it's not good for anyone yeah speaking of drama i didn't actually read a book i read an audiobook okay different totally different totally different do you know i've i was like i'm gonna do the audiobook then i was like where are audiobooks i've never gotten one i know we recorded one you have to download a whole app yep i thought it was just like a podcast i was like where's the audiobooks i had to download an app i'm you did on your phone yeah i'm in a subscription based service now i've had to give my first born away question when you're listening to an audiobook are you doing something else great question so i was on the flight and i put it on and i realized i need more i need more stimulation yeah so i put something on the tv on mute while i was oh yeah you're sick I'm sick I needed a lot going on and then I would kind of like space out and then once I heard something get juicy I'd rewind kind of like how you watch movies exactly see they see you I see you I hear you um so I love when a book goes viral because like let's give it up for old school let's give it up for ballet let's give it up for opera like let's give it up for the crafts like original art okay whatever happened to taking pen to paper whatever happened to like writing on a stone like scribes and squires bring it back yeah bring it back because they they they walked so we could run yeah so stewart who's on the road with me told me that there's a book called the strangers and i said oh what is that about and she's like everyone's talking about it so you know it's called strangers and it's by bell burden now it's called a memoir of marriage the reason it's interesting is because she is an affluent new yorker her great grandpa like invented oil or something she's related to like some really fashion socialite icons she went to fancy school she's a fancy new yorker and she's exposing her marriage in this book and the most beautiful part about it is fiction non-fiction non-fiction oh wow yeah so she's and she's telling the story and you would you're gonna get pissed but it's also beautiful when she was younger she was a really great writer she wanted to be a fictional writer and she got into this class freshman year and she wrote this this story and a senior in the class who was a guy raised his hand and said I think you suck at writing and I hate your work and she said the the teacher was a man didn't say anything and like a little bit later a girl spoke up to defend her but she was like it was too late I already decided I don't want to write anymore so she went into she's like a genius she did law finance she did all this stuff she meets this guy and he's handsome and perfect went to cornell and everything's going great and then wait i don't want to give away but long story short she killed her husband and then she goes down and as all these horrible things happen to her she ends up writing a best-selling novel so it's a crazy story about how you're actually sometimes rock bottom and like tough things happening to you yeah forces

18:25Hannah Berner: the universe forces you back to be just like man to just fuck everything up no i know i know and

18:32Paige DeSorbo: there are moments in it where you want to punch a wall i'm actually not done with it but if anyone wants a little audiobook or you could order it and actually read it old school

18:41Hannah Berner: that's what i'd like to do yeah that i've done once are you gonna read i'm gonna keep going strangers are you gonna do it no i'm i'm fiction i can't do anything that's like possibly real because i feel like my life isn't i'm like i'm like i'm in my life i'm like this is a novel this is a book this is actually this is a nightmare this is you know like what this is a tragedy of a trilogy this is this is the prequel and this is too much it's a comedy it's a horror it's a tragedy no it's yeah it's Shakespearean yes it's what it is yeah it's a lot people love

19:26Paige DeSorbo: when a rich person something bad something bad and she's just like yeah I was privileged she was like I was in my Martha Martha's Vineyard house in COVID yeah and then shit went down And everyone's like, yes, talk about it. It's like I hate when rich people pretend they don't have problems. Because, yeah, then there's money issues.

19:45Hannah Berner: They just have different kinds of problems.

19:47Paige DeSorbo: And, like, rich people's money issues are, like, next level.

19:50Hannah Berner: People don't even really like you. Like, you have to be weary of people that don't like you for you and just like you because you're privileged.

19:56Paige DeSorbo: Well, she talks about meeting this guy and how they just, like, work together. And then he finds out she was speaking at something because her dad is, like, a big art collector. and he suddenly was like, wait, that's you? And then he suddenly was obsessed with her.

20:13Hannah Berner: One thing I'm waiting for because I feel like in life, things just will flip-flop at some point, like truths come out or it's like you get new information or whatever. I'm really ready for the era where men get called out for being such clout chasers. I know way more men, I'm not kidding, I know way more men that are like gold diggers in the traditional sense where it's like she has a lot of followers or like her dad's rich or like she has a like I've just seen that way more than I've seen women like all the women I know are successful like in their own right.

20:54Paige DeSorbo: I feel like the women I know are like I just want a guy who's nice and funny.

20:58Hannah Berner: Literally just nice. They're like giving guys nice and makes me laugh. That's all I need. There's so many TikToks of girls just being like, we're so tired. Like, all my friends are tired. My friends that are in their late 20s are tired. My friends in their late 30s are tired.

21:13Paige DeSorbo: Well, that happened to me in my late 20s. For the first time ever, I realized a man was using me, but I was like, there's no fucking way that a man is using me. Yeah, it's like dystopia. I'm an innocent girl. I'm a baby deer. I'm a baby, and you're a man. My job is to wear cute outfits. Like, don't use me for your shit. You have the patriarchy. Why do you need me involved?

21:37Hannah Berner: When you're in your 20s and you're in that type of situation and you realize it, it almost feels like someone's copying your homework. Like, to dumb it down to the lowest level feeling, it literally feels like someone copied your essay, handed it in first, and then everyone thinks that you guys did it together. It's like, no, she cheated off of me.

22:00Paige DeSorbo: Not to say something controversial. And not to compliment a narcissist. I've done it a couple times in my life. Some of these narcissists have incredible taste. Like, can we discuss how these narcissists, they see star power before you see it?

22:17Hannah Berner: There are so many ex-boyfriends where I'm like, you could start a talent agency.

22:20Paige DeSorbo: Start a talent agency if you're going to find us before we know what we're capable of. I'm like, they saw something in me that I never saw myself. It's star search. it's crazy because so many people in my past who have sucked the life out of me or like wish bad for me I look back now and I go oh my god they you knew I was they thought well of me yeah like they thought more of me than I thought of myself but I didn't see it and I didn't get it why I was a problem yeah the buzzword thing with like narcissists and stuff like that like sometimes they are valid like sometimes it's not totally but if someone says stop using buzzwords that it doesn't mean it's not true.

22:58Paige DeSorbo: No, the worst thing - Sometimes they're actually 100 % true.

23:01Hannah Berner: The worst thing to ever happen to our generation is men learning therapy words, but not actually going.

23:09Paige DeSorbo: And them being like, I know that's a therapy word, don't use that on me. And that's plagiarism at its finest. That's actually, our culture is not your costume. No, our culture is literally - Like when I do the work to know what narcissistic abuse is, and then I see it, and then I call it out, and then I'm called crazy.

23:25Hannah Berner: When I'm over here saying that's a reaction to your action, because I learned that a couple years ago, and you're going to sit here and you've never seen a human therapist and you're going to talk about therapy jargon. Like, take us several seats. I just like, no, that is one thing with TikTok where it's like it's almost like too much information because then you will get like a random TikTok where it's like, I'm a therapist. And I'm like, it doesn't sound like a good one.

23:55Paige DeSorbo: I was like, TikTok, for some reason, like, everyone I follow and I like who are, like, funny, cool, stylish people, none of them is on my feed. Yeah. And it's just, like, random crap. And God forbid I look at something too long, then it's, like, the rest of the day I'm, it's all that. But it's, like, I don't want to see random people, like, con artists telling me things just for clicks. Yeah.

24:19Hannah Berner: But that's what, like, the internet's become. you know we love a woman in stem and a woman in the arts and we don't talk about bobby brown enough she has truly changed the entire beauty industry and has done it again with jones road my mom actually just called me because she was at my apartment and she was like you have so much jones road beauty can i please take some and i'm like take whatever you want because truly everything is amazing their blush bronzer and highlighter are some of my favorites my mom is currently loving their moisturizer and their bronzer and bobby brown truly is that girl jones road is not makeup makeup it's really just skin that looks like you drink water and mind your business their miracle balm is skincare that truly moonlights as makeup it's built on a base of essential oils that condition moisturize and restore your skin barrier while you wear it so while you think you're just getting a glow you're actually treating your skin at the same time one of my favorite parts about jones road is you just blend it with your finger you don't have to use a brush or a sponge and it truly feels like your skin and i love that you're doing something good for your skin while you're wearing makeup because there are so many days i don't want to put makeup on so go to jones road beauty.com and use code giggly at checkout and you'll get a free gift because we take care of our people miracle bomb is waiting for you and honestly it's the most exciting relationship you'll enter this year.

25:45Hannah Berner: Thank us later.

25:48Paige DeSorbo: Also, not to go full circle, but do you think the Kit Kat robbery was a man or a woman?

25:58Hannah Berner: It's like a legitimate robbery?

26:00Paige DeSorbo: Yeah, I think. Of Kit Kat? It could have been a woman on her period. That's so sexist and misogynistic.

26:07Hannah Berner: That was fucked up. But was it wrong? genius i don't where are you selling kick-ass like on the black market you're about to leave

26:17Paige DeSorbo: this podcast go on your phone because your phone's listening to you and you're gonna get non-stop stories about this tic-tac robbery and don't get mad at me it's giving the guy that got

26:26Hannah Berner: abducted by dolphins for three days that's what this story is giving when was that there was like an ai story that a guy was like i was abducted by dolphins and i built them a home and it's like that was fake also to bring it all together the good thing about new we keep bringing it all together we haven't gotten one place we haven't started oh yeah to bring it together where

26:45Paige DeSorbo: the one good thing about ai is that if your nudes ever leak say it's ai that's ai babe

26:51Hannah Berner: at this big age leak um literally leak um what was i so scared for sure oh i was 19 post it please let me stay on their necks post it it's true though you've never taken a nude you weren't proud of well yes i've taken a nude i'm not proud of i've never sent no you don't i mean if you look through the camera roll that's crazy no i'm really i've never really been huge into that yeah me and

27:19Paige DeSorbo: you don't do news because i feel like we're talking so much that yeah we don't need that Also, I'm so good at ignoring text messages. Oh, when a guy's like sending it?

27:30Hannah Berner: Yeah, because you want to know what? If you ask a guy three questions in a row in text messages, they're only responding to the last one because their brains can't process that there were two questions prior to that. And that's how I work when they ask for like nudes. I'm like, oh, sorry. I guess I didn't see that text.

27:46Paige DeSorbo: Oh, what I used to do. Oh, my God. This is making me like remember my 20s. Yeah. When a guy would be like, let me see, like whatever. I would just always send a photo of a cat laying on their back and I thought it was so cute and funny and he'd be like haha you're so crazy and I was like I'm just a crazy I was like you never met

28:05Hannah Berner: a girl like me yeah you're like I'm not like other girls I don't dress sexy I love cats yeah no

28:10Paige DeSorbo: I'm so annoying I dressed as Post Malone for four years straight no look I feel like the word pick me gets thrown around a lot and it's like pick me was also a survival mechanism what's like one

28:23Hannah Berner: other thing we can get mad at girls for doing and like how they act but like there are so many traits of being a pick me girl that I've 100 % had that you have to you have to like grow out you just grow out of certain things but you almost don't realize it when you're doing it because like society has almost like trained you to be a pick me and then you hit a point where you're like actually I am really smart and so like I'm not gonna pretend that I'm not in front of you well

28:54Paige DeSorbo: that's the point of Giggly Squad like growing up when you would watch comedy like the women were always about the joke whenever you'd see a male comedian he's always making fun of his his wife who's so naggy yeah his wife is oh my one life my kid so I love going on stage and being like you know what's annoying about my husband yeah and that is me um making a difference in the world

29:17Hannah Berner: No, I truly became like the man I've dreamt of. Like I think I would lay in bed in college and just be like, he's really successful. He's like passionate. He has like multiple areas of income. He like owns an apartment, can take care of an animal, can keep a plant alive. And then I just became that.

29:37Paige DeSorbo: Well, it's funny. In Strangers, my new favorite thing. Your new personality, yes. She was doing great. And then at some point, obviously she has kids. and then she how old is she I think she had kids like in her 30s and she basically stopped working and she had nannies too so she felt this guilt of like I'm not even a full full-time mom but I'm not working and then everything was just around the husband's schedule and work even though she's the one with the big trust fund but he's like feeling like the man of the house and it's just it's it's interesting and it made me even realize like I was thinking about during my family search.org welcome to the pod how like what people my family did for a living and then i was like that's so sad like i know for a fact my great grandma was a mom was a star oh like deep down was a star but

30:29Hannah Berner: like was mom there was no chance that she was like a butcher i think if you choose to stay at home and like take care of a family and take care of a home totally yes it's more i don't want you to be

30:40Paige DeSorbo: told you have to do that yes ali wong famously has a joke where she's like we wanted to vote we wanted all these rights and we wanted to be like we're smart too and then she's like or were we smarter before when they thought we were done and we could just do pilates all day and that kind of thing yeah but um the point is is that when you are a trad wife you don't have power and sometimes you think you do but if things go wrong you don't yeah and it's just like picking who you're gonna marry it's really like they could kill you no literally like you have to always keep in the back of your head that you could get murdered and if you do get murdered it's 80 chance that it's the husband right and 75 of the time statistics aren't correct is that real does that make any

31:32Hannah Berner: sense that just put my brain in a fucking pretzel that was a dad joke i think that was literally a

31:40Paige DeSorbo: joke my dad told me once where have the metrosexuals gone they came out of the closet

31:47Hannah Berner: yeah the term's gone that's why they're but i just feel like we've created so many different

31:52Paige DeSorbo: identities but like yeah metrosexuals got deleted i know for a fact the sentence came out of my mouth

31:58Hannah Berner: in like 2008 like i'm really into metrosexual guys like fast forward yeah page we know

32:06Paige DeSorbo: could have seen that coming i remember like joking and calling a guy friend a metrosexual because he like had a jacket with a pattern on it and it was like a whole thing but like i feel

32:16Hannah Berner: like it was guys that really liked hairspray and like yeah used a blow dryer yes yes you know yes and they like they tweeze their eyebrows tweeze their eyebrows or get them waxed and like you can tell when a guy is manicured like what's the difference between a guido and a metrosexual because we just described paulie d we just described paulie d which look i'm not gonna talk bad about my first love like i'm not gonna talk bad that i have you met paulie before i

32:48Paige DeSorbo: haven't but did you ever watch the show growing up gaudy yes that was like one of my biggest

32:54Hannah Berner: sexual awakenings i feel like because i feel like i was in like i don't know maybe like fifth or sixth grade and i was just like what when he walked out with his spiked hair and his white headband what is what is that like i how bad did you want to go tanning with him so badly i'm trying to think of like what one was my favorite and i can't even think of his name but i know he was the youngest one i went to a school in brooklyn where it was just all growing up gaudy no i loved an earring i loved a blowout like i was like no that's cool like i liked when they had such sunburn under their eyes from the tanning bed like you could see the goggle like i loved that

33:35Paige DeSorbo: have you ever been to the staten island mall no but i feel like you would have loved it there was a time and who knew it was a time in history where like you look back and there's cavemen yeah there was a time in the staten island mall where every guy had a blowout and a white nike headband full tan diamond studs the more i think about it i've never been to staten island but

33:59Hannah Berner: but you want to know what people are like so rude to people that are from staten island and now that i think about it like those are our people they are like they are i would say they are also primarily italian and it gets a lot of like gross staten island i bet they have some of i bet they have some of the best food yeah do you think that they have their own little secret they're like

34:23Paige DeSorbo: yeah i keep talking shit about staten island but it's like actually like a tropical village

34:27Hannah Berner: well we talk about like cats having like bad pr but they like don't care i feel like this that's like the same with like italians i heard there's just huge mansions everywhere yeah they're

34:37Paige DeSorbo: like we look let's just say staten island not the worst island of the year no definitely

34:47Hannah Berner: wait that was really good dark but really good not to bring up reality tv yeah someone was

34:53Paige DeSorbo: telling me that like ladies of london is really good yeah you can't watch it i can't watch it um because i have ptsd but it made me think i used to love made in chelsea can we can the girls who are bored and want to re-watch of something watch made in chelsea i would re-watch it except it's

35:13Hannah Berner: like 17 seasons is it but don't you like that yeah but there's something about me like i i'm a product of my environment i'm literally gen z like i want new i want more i want it right now give it to me now like if i ordered it now then deliver it now like i don't like watching older things because i'm like i don't care yeah it happened already yeah what did you just make like when i go on netflix and something new is up there and it says 2026 under it i i get a little fire emoji on it this is a new show no one's seen it yet fucking play it like i get so excited speaking of murder there is actually a new show on netflix and each episode no each episode is a different murder in New York City yes I've seen that it was charting really high

36:07Paige DeSorbo: I'm still binging Drag Race oh right I have a full-time job right now um but Drag Race just to go back on Drag Race it's so amazing they're writing songs they're acting they're doing stand-up they're doing roasts they're making um dresses they're doing everything so the other day I was talking to a brand and they were like can you do like tell a story or something for us and I said what if I told a story through song no you didn't and my team was like hey um you're really busy this weekend I don't know if you all the time and I said what

36:45Hannah Berner: kind of song like um like you were gonna do an ad and it was gonna be you singing a song

36:51Paige DeSorbo: so I wrote a song because I was passionate about it I just when I when the creativity Can you say the brand? It's for honest wipes. And immediately I knew exactly. It came. It flowed through me. And everyone was like, you've never done this before? And like, it's a quick turnaround. And I said, guys, I got this. So before my show on like Saturday, I had Stuart film the music video. And the world premiere is airing today on Tuesday. My first ever music drop. and yeah, I'm doing well. I told my husband, he was like, what?

37:36Hannah Berner: No, you've gone too far. I've gone too, but this is the thing. Your confidence, your confidence should be studied because it wouldn't even enter my fucking brain to be like, let's put on a performance, let's do a little ditty.

37:51Paige DeSorbo: I don't know if it's confidence. It's more that I like to try new things. and i like to challenge myself i get bored very easily that's why we're friends because i hate

38:03Hannah Berner: new things i hate change i'm not going out of my comfort zone that's insane also you guys know how i live my life and someone dm'd me actually because a lot of things i post are rage bait

38:15Paige DeSorbo: yeah for you yeah and i know when you don't respond but like you got someone way dm'd me

38:20Hannah Berner: the other day what did you post and they were like they were like why would she do that like We know you're obviously going through.

38:27Paige DeSorbo: I posted like these shocks, like a crazy shoe. Yeah. And people. And it was like a ballet blast. And this girl, Caroline Bessette, Christine Cranston wrote page bait. And I'm like, that's what it's called now. Page bait. So I feel like the music video is also a little page bait because I just want to see your reaction. I just. That's how I work. Whatever.

38:47Hannah Berner: You live your truth. I live my truth. No, it's comforting to me to know that you move throughout your day and you think of me.

38:55Paige DeSorbo: With such abandon.

38:56Hannah Berner: No, like you think of me. Of course. Whether it's like this is going to annoy her or make her happy.

39:03Paige DeSorbo: Who cares what you're thinking of me? Also, can I just say I do respect your boundaries? Because when we were first doing our tour, I was like, okay, obviously we need like a dance opening. And you said, over my dead body. And I never brought it up again.

39:14Hannah Berner: Wait. I was just going to say, I must have expelled that from my brain. Oh, yeah. Because I don't even remember that.

39:20Paige DeSorbo: I just was like, do we do a little dance in the beginning? and you said, I actually don't even said anything. I think, I might have thought you were kidding. You gave me that side look you gave. And I said, I'm so sorry, Miss Paige. Yeah, sometimes I'm like, don't even,

39:34Hannah Berner: don't even come with me with that today. Actually, someone messaged, they were like,

39:37Paige DeSorbo: I know Paige is having a day and she doesn't need this.

39:42Hannah Berner: When in doubt, I don't need this.

39:44Paige DeSorbo: Have you heard about mean girl handwriting? No. And you know what? I have seen over the years, there's been some accusations of mean girl behavior. Yeah. And I just want to say, you do not have Mean Girl handwriting.

39:58Hannah Berner: I don't even know what it is, but I knew I didn't have it.

40:01Paige DeSorbo: Mean Girl handwriting is the perfect bubble letters. Yeah. And it's not like nerdy. It's like crisp. And like the girl in the class who's popular, but like literally evil inside. Yeah. I really think that's true. I've never met a mean girl who writes messy. No. Never.

40:20Hannah Berner: Never. Maybe it has something to do with like the brain hand connectivity Like it's psychopathic

40:27Paige DeSorbo: Like you have to be a psychopath to like start a sentence and be as Chris by the end

40:32Hannah Berner: It's so funny though because there were so many girls in high school where I would be like fuck I love her notebook

40:37Paige DeSorbo: But I hate her Does Gen Alpha even know how to write?

40:42Hannah Berner: No I did get a DM the other day from a giggler that was like A lot of the people you're talking about is Gen Alpha okay and i was just like okay let's apologize and so like i apologize that there are sometimes that i say gen z and i mean gen alpha because she was like i'm almost 30 and i would never do that

41:01Paige DeSorbo: also you came at me for how i looked which was perfectly valid but now i have to bring something up the gigaliers are gonna be upset you said you hate lace why are you wearing lace oh this is

41:12Hannah Berner: quite different okay this is quite different your case this is quite different because Because. Keep repeating it and it'll. And this is quite different because. Coming up with like a tour theme. Like me and Hannah were trying to think like, okay, if we do another tour, like what would the theme be? And like, so we just like go back and forth with like stupid jokes. But this is quite different. Is it good? This is quite different. Quite different than last time. This is different because it's the same color as the shirt. Like it's not a different color lace and you can't see through it really.

41:51Hannah Berner: Like it's not giving that like full lacy vibe. Okay. Yeah. You don't look like one looks like lingerie. Yeah. There's just like certain things, certain pieces that I think lace makes look a little matronly and it's not, it's not across the board. So like I do, whenever I say this, I get a lot of gigglers like DMing me their wedding dress. It's like full of lace. And there are some I like and some I don't. I don't want to make a blanket statement about lace, but I'm not going to ever tell you that I don't like your wedding dress because my handwriting's not that good. So, like, I can't do that.

42:25Paige DeSorbo: I just want you to, like, hold yourself accountable for the things you've said in the past.

42:29Hannah Berner: I've had a lot of Daphne meetings about lace. Really? Yeah, because the girls do like it. And I'm going to be honest, I've looked at so many swatches and there are some that I'm just like, I don't like that, though. And I can't make something that I don't like. but I am looking into it.

42:46Paige DeSorbo: Also when you do have a smaller boob like if I had smaller boobs I feel like I would wear like those little lace tops all the time. Not full lace but you know like because when I wear I feel like I'm literally wearing lingerie.

42:59Hannah Berner: You know what's funny is like I live my life being like. You know what's funny from the beginning of time. When my mom met my dad. The purpose of our existence. There are so many times where I say to myself wow if I had big boobs I would be like, I would do this or I would do that or I would wear that. And it's important to know that there is a girl somewhere else living your opposite life wishing she had your problems.

43:26Paige DeSorbo: And I would say the same thing about straight haired girls and curly haired girls. Yes. I've never met a curly haired girl that was like, I wish my hair is straight. Yeah. Every straight haired girl is like, I wish my hair would hold a curl.

43:36Hannah Berner: You know, we actually have pretty similar air dried hair. We do. And we don't talk about it a lot.

43:42Paige DeSorbo: We don't talk about it.

43:43Hannah Berner: We have like the same kind of. Except people think mine is stringy. Do they?

43:48Paige DeSorbo: Because I don't brush it all the time.

43:49Hannah Berner: I don't really brush mine. Like I didn't brush mine. This is like textures, like Trezmé texture spray.

43:56Paige DeSorbo: My mom. And that's it. Oh, good call. Good job.

43:58Hannah Berner: Good plug. Did you guys hear that? Yeah. That was organic. This episode is presented by Depop. Okay, Gigglers. Can we talk about the fact that we all have a section in our closet that basically is just vibes and delusion? Like I bought it for a version of me that goes to Paris Fashion Week, but she hasn't checked in recently. Instead of letting those pieces emotionally support you from the hanger, you could be making money on Depop. Depop is a fashion resale app where your personal taste actually has value. And before you're like, ugh, selling sounds like admin, relax. You can list an item in just a few taps on Depop.

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45:48Paige DeSorbo: No judgment. So if you're gearing up for March Madness, grab Pick 6 for$19.99 at Buffalo Wild Wings. Price may be higher in select states. See web or app for details.

46:00Hannah Berner: All right. Two truths and a lie. Here we go. I went to college with college football coach Jim McElwain. I began my broadcasting career doing play-by-play for the Las Vegas Stars, and I've been a Verizon customer for 15 years. Okay, I lied. All three are true. Verizon isn't as expensive as you think. In fact, if you bring in your AT &T or T-Mobile bill to a Verizon store, they'll give you a better deal. That's right, a better deal on the best network with the most ways to save on plans, streaming, and phone deals. So take that AT &T or T-Mobile bill to your local Verizon store today. Get a better deal and start saving.

46:35Hannah Berner: Based on Root Metrics, best overall mobile network performance, U.S. second half 2025. All rights reserve must provide recent consumer mobile bill in the name of the person redeeming the deal. Additional terms, conditions, and restrictions apply.

46:52Paige DeSorbo: My mom is getting a bob tomorrow. A cunty bob. Stop. I know. How short is she going? She was going like zendaya vibe like right under the ear um like a little anna wintour i don't think she's but she wants a side part i don't know i'm excited for her but i'm a little nervous my mom might have a new personality afterwards well that does happen with a bob she's gonna start being kurt with me

47:13Hannah Berner: yeah yes sorry do you want to know why that made me stop because this is so personal once i made a psychic tell me that the guy named curtis actually was gonna come into my life and like to be weary of him and so like i'm not kidding at least once a month i think like when did they say that to you when did they say that to you uh like two years ago okay did someone say that to you no no i just i do have a friend who

47:39Paige DeSorbo: our mutual friend who i think was with a guy named curtis who was not good for her

47:43Hannah Berner: i don't know that person so i don't i don't i'm not privy to that information i sent an email today with the word privy how'd you spell it wait okay you know wait wrong at first i sent it i spelled it privy at first i did an e it's a y at the end i sent an email today and you guys know my mom's on my emails but this one she was legit on she both were editing this one like she was there she was in the thread like kim de sorbo people knew she was she was allowed to be there

48:14Paige DeSorbo: She was actually there.

48:15Hannah Berner: I had seen her response that she had sent the night before. And then this morning I woke up and I wrote my own response to an email. And she texted me like 20 minutes later and was like, saw your response. Superb job.

48:32Paige DeSorbo: Superb. Wait, if someone who I respected said I did something superb, I'd retire.

48:39Hannah Berner: Because I like, obviously I second guessed myself. but I like every other woman I take away the exclamation marks that I think that I need I don't give like hi sorry I give no what the fuck like I give I try an email the way a man would email but then I do always have a regret where I'm like oh my god do they think I'm a bitch like was that really mean or like was that assertive and my mom giving me that like that was

49:08Paige DeSorbo: a phenomenal email me and you together are really good at business because we always play good cop bad cop yeah and we go back and forth totally but like if you say something stern i always go lol ha ha and if i have like a lot of ideas you go oh hannah being crazy again so we like soften actually people were really pissed that i about that clip some people i think that i that i didn't interrupt the meeting to say like i got the wrong food and that i should have been more assertive about it oh shut the fuck up i hate when people say okay well if i was in the

49:45Hannah Berner: situation okay people were like in the situation you shouldn't be eating like that an important

49:49Paige DeSorbo: meeting this is the thing we i was up since 5 a.m we got off a flight straight to the meeting i have a lot going on and sometimes i don't want to deal with you i don't want to get into altercation with

49:59Hannah Berner: the waiter do not defend yourself here honey over a situation that no one's even seen no they we didn't even give good details honestly we told the story wrong so please do not sit here and think

50:15Paige DeSorbo: you're going to defend yourself wait does kim has she ever given any notes about my emails no she hasn't really but i'll keep an ear out yeah keep an ear out the last actually the other

50:26Hannah Berner: day my dad called me and he was like uh you said no to and like said something I was like what and he was like yeah why didn't you want to do that I was like it doesn't really work with my schedule I'm like wait were you on my emails and he was like well your mom I think they sit down for dinner no Hannah they sit I'm not kidding they sit down for dinner they turn on Giggly Squad on the tv on YouTube doesn't matter if it's if they've watched Mondays and it's if they've watched Tuesday's episode they're re-watching it Wednesday and then they're waiting for Fridays they sit there they bring up their laptop that's my family they look to see what I'm doing they talk about me meanwhile your brother Gary's like hello oh please he had his time okay he had his chance

51:14Paige DeSorbo: and he had his time he did my thing with emails when I'm when I have the power in the situation I love no punctuation yeah not like in a girly like way like just writing xo and stuff yeah I just I I respond as fast as possible and as I think that's the most important and just like

51:33Hannah Berner: so it's like I'm running I think it's more important and I should take my own advice I think it's more important to respond faster fast than to have like a complete thought thought idea

51:46Paige DeSorbo: a thousand percent and i actually from strangers i learned this lady was talking about she was in a relationship that she didn't want to be in and she goes i finally got the balls to break up with him and she's like it's crazy that it took a year of me thinking about it but only 10 minutes to actually break up with him oh you feel that yeah well you got like a visceral reaction that felt

52:10Hannah Berner: because i thought i was the only person because no sometimes i like would think that there was something wrong with me that I'm like every boyfriend I'm like oh babe I'm mentally out of here like I've I've given you an imaginary deadline you didn't hit it so now I'm mentally taking myself out of it and I'll let you know when the time's right for you.

52:33Paige DeSorbo: She had a guy once she moved into her new apartment he gets fired from his job he's sleeping on her couch he's like I need this guy to leave he could not get the balls.

52:42Hannah Berner: Once I turned 25 and was like so done with I don't know just like really immature men and then my next couple of relationships I feel like maybe as a protective mechanism I mentally was out way before it actually happened

52:59Paige DeSorbo: I actually lied I have cried a lot but it's while breaking up with them so they can't so they don't

53:05Hannah Berner: feel like you're so you're good I'm good you're good I can't muster it up I do have to say all of

53:12Paige DeSorbo: my boyfriends of my past most of them were really good guys and I actually was sad because I was like it's gonna be weird not talking tomorrow but like you're not my husband but like you're a great person. What's that like?

53:25Hannah Berner: See you want to know actually actually I take that back the one nice thing I do for men during breakups is I do let them perform the speech that they've prepared like I do let them have like I I do let them see me in person because I know that they've had something that they have to get out and I know that like closure is important to some people never been closure has actually never really been that important to me like if I never spoke to someone again I'd be like okay like and I've done it but that's just I think deep anyway we don't have the time to get into it but i let them do their performance and i've seen actually some really good ones where i'm like hey maybe you have a point and then i'm like no no no um thank you so much for that my decision is final and my favorite is like when they're like can we hook up

54:19Paige DeSorbo: one more time okay i don't think you understand the point of the break it's because i don't want

54:23Hannah Berner: anymore yeah so that's interesting but it overall it's just so interesting how like

54:30Paige DeSorbo: the breakup seems like this big scary thing but it literally is gonna take 10 minutes

54:34Hannah Berner: girl it'll take you 10 minutes you've had a longer poop than that no true and then there are so then once you're out of it then you you weigh 20 pounds later i'm like oh hello oh no it's crazy but you have to get there and it's like you really do have to get there on your own and there are so many times i've broken up with people and i'm like so mad at myself because i'm like why didn't i fucking do that two years ago and you really you can't get mad at yourself because it's fate if you didn't stay then maybe you wouldn't have met the person you're supposed to be with or maybe like you wouldn't have moved to a new city and gotten a new so it's really like

55:14Paige DeSorbo: I truly do believe in like divine timing but I also do believe that like you know early on if

55:22Hannah Berner: this guy you know the day they ask you to be your their girlfriend like you know what do you mean like who are you I feel like every boyfriend I've ever had like the moment they're like will you be my girlfriend my gut's been like no oh you're saying that you know yeah i know oh my god i

55:47Paige DeSorbo: know getting into it i gotta get out the other thing where you know immediately when a person is right sure maybe like we i think we are yeah we are different with that you want to know what

55:58Hannah Berner: we just said the same thing i said it in the pessimistic way you said it in the optimistic way and that's why we're best friends i'm so happy you're my best friend and i'm so happy you're mine carry out there i couldn't uh adjun i love how your only note this episode was catching print yeah that's all i've been doing all week since you left me over the weekend that's all i've

56:23Paige DeSorbo: been doing that's all you've been doing did you have a restful weekend what did i do i feel like

56:27Hannah Berner: i like can't even remember what i did this weekend did you watch anything did you make any art oh my god what did i do this weekend i'm really i'm really doing my like taking my 10 000 steps

56:39Paige DeSorbo: seriously and i started doing 12 330 again okay i told you you only need 7 000 okay well my 10 is important to me are you doing outside or on your walking pad a little bit of both

56:51Hannah Berner: josephine used my walking pad the other day for a daphne video with the tsa bin that i ordered on amazon and there are a couple gigglers that were like you put a tsa bin on your walking pad and i'm

57:01Paige DeSorbo: like no that was art that was creative that was magic that was just working with what you've got

57:08Hannah Berner: at home yes perfect we we like feel it we're all like i can feel it um thank you guys so much for

57:15Paige DeSorbo: giggling with us we love you so so so much um stay happy and healthy yeah i had des i told him to order me italian food halfway through the podcast hannah i have a chicken parm waiting for

57:30Hannah Berner: me at home. We're not sisters, Hallie. We're twins. We're twins. Bye.

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