Giggling about hunger strikes, purity rings, and the opera

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1:31Paige DeSorbo: i mean the day just got away from me hello my giggly wiggly jigglies pigglies

1:41Hannah Berner: hold on i i saved so i'm not like on my phone i just saved something we literally just started and she's like no i'm paying attention keep talking i'm just i'm actually bored yeah um

1:53Paige DeSorbo: Who are you sexting?

1:55Hannah Berner: No, I saved something and I wanted to bring it up. Okay, listen to this. Five countries cracking down on influencers. China has banned influencers from speaking about topics they don't actually know about.

2:09Paige DeSorbo: So we can't speak about anything anymore. Like literally anything.

2:12Hannah Berner: Australia has effectively banned kid influencers after implementing world's first block on social media access for children under 16, which I actually so agree with. We stan. Spain popular tourist spots have had to regulate or ban travel influencers after selfie tourism ruined the environments and infuriated locals. Whatever I whatever. I digress. The Netherlands has banned influencers from promoting online gambling promoting partnerships between streamers and betting operators.

2:48Paige DeSorbo: I mean true like we've been talking about that. It is giving a little sexist though. really it's giving sexist like i feel like influencers is giving we don't want women

2:57Hannah Berner: working france has banned influencers from promoting fast fashion they they are also banned from promoting dangerous cosmetics surgeries and extreme diet dieting products

3:08Paige DeSorbo: okay this is okay i have a lot of thoughts i haven't thought this through so i'll work this out in okay in lifetime i feel like if you're banning influencers promoting fast fashion stop blaming influencers go for the fast fashion go for the source not these girls who are just trying to make a buck go for the fucking billionaire who owns it also i feel like fast

3:28Hannah Berner: i also feel like fast fashion which i'm obviously guilty of like loving zara i buy everything on amazon is because the world is so expensive honey you could go on amazon right now and get a ysl

3:46Paige DeSorbo: heel dupe sweetie well also why would they not back in the day people used to like sew clothes and like make things and it was like i guess affordable i don't know i wasn't there and nowadays it's clothes are either ten dollars or literally five hundred dollars a little kitty just jumped up on the bed she she knows when we're starting and she's like don't forget my shout out in the beginning oh having a cat is just the fucking best i know should i tell them about what happened with butter yeah okay so butter normally when i'm traveling des is around or grace is around there's always like someone around or when des is traveling i'm around this last week something happened where des and i were both working and i said okay let's get

4:38Hannah Berner: a cat sitter for how long you've had a cat i feel like you never have a cat sitter i'm rotating cat sitters honestly daphne likes a cat sitter better than me this is the thing with butter butter spoil

4:49Paige DeSorbo: butter doesn't do cat sitter but i explained to the cat sitter i had to get on a call with a cat sitter i had to like get interviewed and they were like tell us about your cat i'm like you're not gonna see this bitch she doesn't want to see you feed her and leave she has a litter robot that's working overtime you just have to open up a can of wet food get some water get out of there so i'm running around and i get a text from grace who's also we have like multiple people on this cat sitter it's like my top priority and she's like butter hasn't eaten and i'm like okay every now and then someone like shuts a door and she's like stuck in a closet we got to get the cat sit her back open every single crevice butter needs saving so then the cat sitter is like she's still not eating and i'm like okay i'm starting to get really worried about my cat because it's

5:37Hannah Berner: like two three days one day yeah this is like two three days and if you google like how long can my

5:43Paige DeSorbo: cat go without food they're very dramatic they're like after 24 hours your cat is dead and i'm like

5:48Hannah Berner: okay i'm not daphne daphne is stored for the winter so but then i start searching like

5:57Paige DeSorbo: when cats are stressed because they miss their owner and i was like i think butter's on a hunger strike and grace was like that seems really dramatic and i'm like well don't count butter out

6:09Hannah Berner: she's so 90s she's like i just won't eat for five days and then i'll be at my goalie but i'm like

6:15Paige DeSorbo: I'm very stressed and Dez is like I'm getting in tomorrow I'll know what's gonna happen he texts me butter comes out immediately rolling around on the rug so happy to see everyone doesn't know everyone's been so scared I'm like why did you do a hunger strike she just was like I'm not touching

6:33Hannah Berner: that food from that stranger sorry stranger danger she's like um actually that stranger could have injected something into my wet food not gonna traffic me bitch not getting me she's like i've been stray before and i'm not going back she's literally like i've been rich and i've been poor

6:52Paige DeSorbo: and i'll pick rich every time so cats like communicate with you doing crazy stuff like daphne will shit on someone's bed when she's mad butter will refuse to eat but then somehow she's peeing and pooping still so i don't know what is going on but she's smarter than all of us anyway butter's fine but i was um i was in california she doesn't like when i go to california she

7:16Hannah Berner: knows it's far cats are so much like their owners that like butter goes into a depression

7:21Paige DeSorbo: you are very depression prone butter was in the back of a dark closet trying to find a happy place

7:27Hannah Berner: where daphne like acts out and then 24 hours later she's like i just remembered i don't care you know and that's like so that could not be more me i'm like i'll burn this whole fucking city down and then 12 hours later i'm like i was literally just hungry i literally don't care about this at all i had a tennis weekend yes you know i love my tennis weekends indian wells shout out

7:53Paige DeSorbo: so indian wells chic as fuck they were giving out free yogurt free faye in the desert that's when

8:01Hannah Berner: you know you you've hit peak capitalism but i also was like it was 90 degrees and someone's like do you want a free yogurt and i was like i was like we miscalculated i can't have a yoga right now i

8:16Paige DeSorbo: die but um i am really close to being like in the tennis illuminati like i'm so close i've had this wait do you know how chic indian well is indian wells indian well sorry you guys it's the morning indian wells indian wells is underneath the stadium court there's a private nobu underneath the court that like you can't no one can go you have to get invited like you have to

8:46Hannah Berner: have like won a grand slam to go oh my god like they're like oh you played college tennis get the fuck out so it's not like operating every friday night and saturday it's operating like it's basically like oh roger fetter is here take him to the nobu oh it's chic it's chic so you didn't

9:05Paige DeSorbo: get to go no they actually like someone some security like pummeled me they were like don't

9:11Hannah Berner: even think about it they purposely were like if you heard about it no you didn't lululemon is like

9:17Paige DeSorbo: the sponsor of the tournament which is cool so i got to host a suite fun by the way it's not easy to get to Palm Springs.

9:26Hannah Berner: No, it's not. I've only been once. I've never been to Coachella. Have you? I've never been to Coachella. And I'm so proud of that. We've never been to any festival.

9:36Paige DeSorbo: No festival. I get hives thinking about. We've never been to Stagecoach. No. Well, that's crazy.

9:42Hannah Berner: You know, there's a place in New York City called Governor's Island. I've never been to it. I've heard of it. But the closer it is to me, the scarier it is also. I feel like I just those those types of events I feel like I hated in college like I hated raves in college but I went because we were in college and when your friends are doing something you just do it but now but once I had free will I was like why would I why would I go sweat also you know me like music is triggering it's not triggering but like I'm not traveling to see you I don't give a fuck well part of i'll listen to you on my phone it's kind of how i feel about sports like if i

10:27Paige DeSorbo: actually care about the match or the game i want to watch it in a dark room alone with my cat so i can actually watch it like if i want to listen to a song or like watch a music video i'm not like let's invite a crew um let's go to the sound stage i'm a yapper if there's people around me i'm missing the whole concert and i'm like great i paid money to have the same conversation i have with my friends every day. The thing with me and Coachella is like,

10:53Hannah Berner: I'm not walking from stage to stage. Like I'm not walking around. I think that's my thing. And people like pass out left and right.

11:01Paige DeSorbo: I'm not letting my future unborn child go to Coachella. It's unsafe because I know my kids not going to drink enough water because they have my genetics and like they'll pass out. Why can't we have air conditioned festivals? Why can't they just be like in an auditorium? Everyone has a Duncan refresher.

11:18Hannah Berner: everyone like has a seat um i saw this thing online the other day and i knew that it was so it was so split on the internet and i know that it's going to be so split for us and i already know what your answer is going to be i'm so excited to fight with you a girl came and made a tiktok and said every i have a roommate and every time she showers she puts lotion on and And the girl was like, that's crazy to me. Like I could never put lotion on every single time I shower. Like maybe once in a while I do it. But I can't believe these people exist that put lotion on every single time they shower. Now me, I'm sitting there and I have to immediately go to the comments because I know that I'm one of those people.

12:04Hannah Berner: And the comments were very split. Like, yes, we exist. Like I'm right here. I put lotion on every after every single shower more diligently than I do washing my face at night like I could tell you the last time I didn't put lotion on after I showered was probably like three months ago and it's like because I showered really late I was tired question can I ask some questions

12:25Paige DeSorbo: before I get my response yeah I knew you were gonna have follow-ups if you don't lotion after the shower do you feel dry and like tight yes now that I have this information can I get my response yeah the floor is yours thank you i think that your body gets like addicted to things because that's how i am with my face like if i don't put moisturizer on immediately after showering my face i like can't smile it's so like dry yeah um but i never put it on my body and my body feels great but like my mom lotions every time after the shower because she's an adult and she like needs to i feel like it's like coffee like you're but it's like also i feel like even with like um putting lip stuff on i wonder is there anyone who like never puts lip stuff on and their lips are just like great all the time you know what i think about a lot what

13:21Hannah Berner: remember when mila kunis came out and was like i'm definitely not bathing my kids every single day i do remember that i don't know why but i think about that a lot like i think about it at least once a month what was her reasoning i think her reasoning was like they don't get dirty like they're not dirty every single day and it's like i've seen my little niece and nephew and they

13:45Paige DeSorbo: can't have a meal without needing to be like thrown in a tub yeah host literally host down

13:51Hannah Berner: me too though i also love a shower you love a shower i also here's the thing i've i have fully reverted back to the structure that my mother gave me in kindergarten like I'm waking up because you want to know what she was right all along why would I ever deviate from her goddamn plan I wake up I do what I have to do around five o 'clock I go into the bathroom I take my shower I get ready for bed and then after like 6 p.m. if there's anything I need to do before I go to sleep at night that's when i do it but i'm fully showered like ready for sleep but that's why moms are so

14:36Paige DeSorbo: by at least 7 p.m some people if you have like a crazy childhood like you were never taught how you're supposed to take care of yourself which is upsetting like learning basic hygiene yeah but oh wait well i love structure in anything i'm a structured person i need structure you have

15:00Hannah Berner: have i'm scorpio sun i'm a pisces moon and i'm an aquarius rising which just like so is not me i

15:10Paige DeSorbo: don't know where that comes in that's why you like smoking weed because i'm an aquarius rising

15:14Hannah Berner: yeah but i kind of made that up like i have no idea i feel like you did i feel like me being an aquarius rising is why i can tolerate quirky people wait you got me being aquarius rising is

15:26Paige DeSorbo: why you don't make me want to blow my brains out every time I talk to you you love quirky people it's like quirky I love quirky people and you know it's crazy I always loved scary women no like all my best friends were like the scariest girl in the school and I'd be like her like a little Labrador retriever and I'm like don't mess with her you can mess with me though don't mess

15:50Hannah Berner: with her and i feel like i've never truly had a best friend that's exactly like me because i'm like boring like who cares like i need a little quirk i need a little energy so my quirk was and

16:04Paige DeSorbo: i don't know like the exact reasoning but you know my mom apparently i was so i don't know what i would do in the morning but like getting me dressed and i'm talking about when i was like eight years old like i wasn't like two years old getting me dressed in the morning was like Like, I didn't like change. Like, it's hard. You know how, like, you're like, hey, can we record the pod? And I'm like, but I'm in bed right now. And you're like, get up. Like, I don't like transitioning. I'm comfortable. So she would dress me in my outfit the night before and put me to sleep because she didn't want to deal with me in the morning.

16:38Hannah Berner: See, you were actually a great candidate for a uniform.

16:41Paige DeSorbo: You're so right about that. You would have thrived with the uniform. I would have thrived. Yeah. see public school i was crazy and i was wearing oh you would have been upset you would have been

16:50Hannah Berner: upset also like as i get older and like i'm hitting prime like maternal ages i do think of like obviously there's like random thoughts about like how are you going to raise your child and like blah blah like whatever i do think that like i specifically know and i think kids too like thrive with routine like once you throw off their routine they're like what the fuck's going on which i 100 get because even as an adult if you throw off my routine yeah i'm like uh but like

17:23Paige DeSorbo: i don't like this like they'll be like i don't want to do this it's like yeah you're three of course you don't want to do this but kids want to know what they should do like my mom was even talking about lois how like they want structure yeah like she told lois we can watch three episodes episodes and Lois was like okay and then next you know Lois was telling my mom two more episodes where like when I was watching tv with her she was like we're gonna watch this forever but like because I didn't tell her anything there's no denying that we're at the age where

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20:54Hannah Berner: eBay things people love

21:02Paige DeSorbo: I also have a good note I have a good feminist note for you guys I love it because you know you talk about raising a son and how you want to raise a great son and we're all like we want to raise a great son I think I'm having a boy first I saw this thing online and it's very important because I'm like we blame the mom so much for like when a son comes out wrong and first of all we know these moms like we know them in our

21:31Hannah Berner: heart moms are great people i saw a video the other day and it was like a kid doing something crazy and all the comments were like where's the dad where's his dad someone said that the way

21:43Paige DeSorbo: guys treat women is a direct reflection of how their dad treats their mom so when you guys are searching for a partner i don't care whatever you do if he sees the dad disrespecting you treating you like shit not letting you speak bossing you around i don't care how good you are as a mom to that kid the kid sees that and that affects his relationship with women so when you're choosing your man add that to the long list not to like take it to like a super dark

22:19Hannah Berner: level on like a friday afternoon it's tuesday but but when i oh right what oh my god and we're on

22:28Paige DeSorbo: earth is everyone okay well i believed you at first i was like it is friday you're not okay

22:36Hannah Berner: anyway not to take it to a super dark level but when i was in like an extremely mentally and physically abusive relationship and so us when i got hit by a car by a man when i literally got beat to a pulp um sorry i digress i can make jokes about it because it happened to me um i'm a hundred percent if not 98 sure that this man's dad was also extremely abusive to the wife obviously I never like saw that like full out but there were just like certain signs and now as I'm obviously like 15 years out of that relationship like I still think back to it in my 30s and how like I handled it and as a 19 year old girl and there were so many signs that that dad was extremely abusive to the wife yeah I feel like so many times you see something and

23:31Paige DeSorbo: people would be like wow the mom didn't do this or that and i'm like no the dad's setting a

23:37Hannah Berner: fucking horrible example well because it's just like so easy to blame women for everything it's so exhausting can i it's almost like guys find something else the jfk jr lookalike contest in

23:51Paige DeSorbo: washington square park i honestly couldn't get myself to click on it any guy who says he looks like jfk jr gives me the like like if you think you look like him you already don't and i feel

24:03Hannah Berner: like on tiktok the girls are really coming for the other girls like this isn't you're not carolyn beset like you can't you're not doing it right nobody's coming for the men who are posting outfit videos trying to look like jfk jr we've truly lost the plot like what guys well i had

24:23Paige DeSorbo: some friends joking that they were like oh i might have to walk by the jfk jr um look-alike contest to find a boyfriend but then i was like oh like imagine some guys like in the mirror preparing

24:37Hannah Berner: hot take i love the show but it seems like they were not the best match for each other just gonna go out on a limb here and say look i love a woman who will beat her man in the streets of new york city if i didn't think someone was going to take a video of me i would have done it so many times but that's not the best like example of a good relationship like if you want to beat the shit out of him and i've been there so many times you can't do it but also you probably shouldn't be

25:07Paige DeSorbo: dating that person let alone marrying them also especially when she knew like all they do is get

25:13Hannah Berner: photographed did you see the actress who came out and was like um yeah i'm kind of pissed at how you

25:21Paige DeSorbo: guys portrayed me i wrote that down daryl hannah she's not an actress she's like the actress of the 90s are you familiar with daryl hannah i only know her from that one movie with tom hanks forrest gump she starred in she's iconic and she was in um splash i think that was with tom hanks

25:39Hannah Berner: too that was her that's daryl hannah she's the mermaid yeah that's her in forrest gump are you sure hold on i need to fact check you yeah i need to fact check myself actually splash kill bill

25:54Paige DeSorbo: steel magnolia blade runner a walk to remember was not in 1994 film for a scum oh

26:03Hannah Berner: wait i knew something was up there usually i let you i let you just go i'm like

26:10Paige DeSorbo: normally expressing herself you let me cook oh she wasn't it was robin right okay well both two great actresses um so daryl hannah comes out and is like i don't do anything to anyone i don't say anything to anyone

26:28Hannah Berner: i never want to be involved in anything she's like she was like i didn't host cocaine parties like i would never show up to someone's tv set and just or like a funeral i wouldn't use an

26:41Paige DeSorbo: heirloom to snort crack on she basically was like most of the time i don't respond to like rumors about me because it just adds to the flame to the fire but she was like the way they depicted her in this was that she was this sad annoying disrespectful horrible person even the actress's

27:00Hannah Berner: voice every time she talked you were like shut up it almost it was done so badly where like

27:06Paige DeSorbo: i think they tried to make her like the antagonist so that you'd root for carolyn but instead it made i was like why would this guy ever want to be with this horrible person so daryl hannah good for you for speaking up because i i know that speaking up causes drama and i don't recommend it in most situations i really but she basically was like don't use me don't come for my entire person and my entire livelihood like imagine you live this whole full life and then this tv show comes out depicting you as a person your entire life and it's going viral and you're the worst like side chick in the world and she's like that just wasn't us i would never force a guy to marry me like the accusations they had on her was bonkers

27:57Hannah Berner: do you ever think about how like we are not jfk juniors type at all he would have thrown up in his mouth he would have been like a brunette well a redhead okay get out of here you know sometimes the gigglers will dm me and they'll be like hey sorry so i know i'm blonde but

28:18Paige DeSorbo: um and it's like so funny but i do feel like when i find out a guy likes blondes i get like empowered because i'm like i suddenly feel free of his wrath and i'm like you don't have a soul yeah i'm like but i'm like you don't have control over me like you don't fuck with me so then i'm free we're like but there's there was drama and i hate to spread gossip but i think this was from brooke shield's mouth brooke shields who we love iconic went on a date with jfk jr when she was still a virgin she was like america's most famous version which was so

28:56Hannah Berner: 90s to be like here's the virgin of the day not even 90s remember when like the jonas brothers

29:04Paige DeSorbo: wore purity rings what was that that was um religious trauma what was what was like that like

29:13Hannah Berner: even like britney spears people were like obsessed with when she was like gonna turn 18 and like same with the Olsen twins like what a weird genre of like celebrity dumb that like we were just like oh yeah she's a virgin duh everybody knows that like imagine the world's finding out when you lost your virginity no she's like I'm a virgin but I have given some hand jobs

29:38Paige DeSorbo: like that is so crazy it's disgusting oh yeah so she said that she went on a date with him and it went great and then she's like I'm not having sex with you because in her head she's like I'll fall in love with this man so then he apparently leaves her like is like oh we're not having sex and just like leaves her wherever they were she has to like find her way back and she said like he knew I was obsessed with him and she's like I was obsessed with him and I couldn't believe I was on date with him but like I didn't want to have sex with him because I knew I'd fall in love with him and I didn't want to deal with all that also it's like you don't have to have sex with anyone if you don't want to so then this girl on TikTok was like he he knew she was in love with him so he wasn't like upset about that he liked Carolyn Bissette because she didn't like him but I also feel like that oversimplifies it like we don't know what happened between those two right and I think we need to stop or like take it all with such a grain assault the internet oversimplifies everything yeah i do think there is like a argument to be

30:50Hannah Berner: made that men do like what they can't have yeah and they do like a chase and if you are meaner to them and they do kind of like that if you like ignore them a lot so my argument to that cool

31:05Paige DeSorbo: play games pretend you hate him in the courtship pretend you hate whatever and and he'll he'll you'll get his attention or whatever that's not a long sustainable healthy relationship certainly not it's when you're in your early 20s treatment like shit ignore them don't respond their texts let them chase you and then get eventually what's going to happen is going to happen which if you are toxic together you're toxic which is what we i guess happened with

31:33Hannah Berner: I do think though like the man needs to be obsessed with you from the moment that he meets you he can't grow to love you where women can grow to be more attracted to you and more into you but I if you're not obsessed with me in the first time we've met and you're not like immediately asking to hang out again I'm not interested a thousand percent girls write that down like literally

31:56Paige DeSorbo: write that down if you at any point are looking and seeing if you have to change anything about

32:01Hannah Berner: yourself to make him like you more get out no i mean we've all been there because we're chameleons i want you to like stalk me i want you to be so obsessed with me that like you can't imagine

32:18Paige DeSorbo: not dating can i tell an iconic story can i tell an iconic story about my parents yeah my mom and dad meet on a blind date and immediately they're obsessed with each other and he's she's like where are you going and he's like i am going out to long island for a family like um it was like memorial day it's like a family party do you want to come with me and like that's insane if you're not attracted to the guy you're like you're crazy but she's like okay so like that night she meets his entire family nothing is insane well because you want

32:59Hannah Berner: to know what if the guy says it's okay then it's okay like she was like like that's this he was

33:05Paige DeSorbo: like help me pick out a gift for my sister and let's go like he immediately men are like you're my wife so then he he gets back they get back after the weekend and he's like what are you doing tomorrow and she's like i have a date like she was dating she was single and he's like okay i'll drive you to the date break up with the guy and then we go on a date and she was like okay so he drove her to the date let her walk in tell the guy i'm seeing someone else get back in the car with him and take her to dinner oh my god i'm gonna cry and they got engaged in six months and they're still like obsessed with each other wait hannah you got engaged in like six months that's why the only you know i'm not like a crazy risk taker like i'm not doing cocaine yeah in my head i was like the guy i meet i'll know immediately because that's what happened to my mom so when des proposed after six months i was like good if it was any longer i would have to

34:08Hannah Berner: get out of this um speaking of men the soul pod you see everyone's really coming at timothy chalamet well first of all for two things two things yeah one he said that nobody cares about the ballet and um the opera and then the third thing is somebody i forget where it was i definitely had the freaking video saved too um someone asked him about like having children or something and said that like when something to the effect of like if you choose not to have children like bleak what's like your life and the girls are going crazy can i say one thing before we dive into it before we digress yes you're like how do we want to position this so i have so many thoughts and let me just be a devil's advocate because let me just truly say what's happening in my brain simultaneously be honest in i'm being gonna be so honest right now in on one hand what timothy chalamet said about the opera and ballet is insane because it's like the oldest art form ever like opera's been around for like 500 fucking years like it's also really do yeah people really do fucking love the opera so i do think that's crazy but has attendance to the opera and the ballet gone down in years well yes because there's so many other forms of entertainment so is what he's saying kind of true like people don't care about the opera and the ballet as much as they used to yes but people don't care about movies as much as they used to either but it

35:53Paige DeSorbo: wasn't his point kind of like i want to be doing something that people want to see and that rubbed

36:01Hannah Berner: me the wrong way because i was like you can't get a ticket to the nutcracker in new york city if you don't book it months in advance before christmas but we cannot get a bigger picture being an artist

36:13Paige DeSorbo: isn't about the applause being an artist is about loving what you do and expressing yourself creatively he's basically like i do this because i can make millions of dollars and people like it where it's like first of all you went to la guardia high school which is a performing arts school where everyone auditions with music dance art or pretty sure his parents are playwrights or something something i do think he's doing too much press we've all been there i've been there where i've done way too many podcasts where i have nothing left to say and i'm like i've said every story about myself and you just start saying crazy shit like you're like giving opinions on

36:56Hannah Berner: flowers like i don't if i had a nickel for every time i've called someone and been like i'm over

37:02Paige DeSorbo: exposed i i have nothing left to say and you're like who's even speaking right now like i've never met this person i do think he's overexposed and i don't think he wholeheartedly is passionate about his statement like it's not like he's not like fighting to the death to be like Fuck opera.

37:20Hannah Berner: Yeah, death to opera singers.

37:21Paige DeSorbo: But someone was like, also, you made a movie about ping pong, which isn't the most relevant sport.

37:27Hannah Berner: Well, when I saw the clip, which I thought the clip was actually really funny because no one's talking about how Matthew McConaughey was kind of trying to get him to shut the fuck up.

37:37Paige DeSorbo: And if Matthew McConaughey is looking at you like, slow your roll.

37:41Hannah Berner: Like, you could hear him be like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, okay. All right, all right, all right, all right, all right. the thing that i thought of was damn if like let's just pick like a random art like a random actress if margot robbie sat in an interview and said no one gives a fuck about the opera and the ballet she would not just be talked about on podcasts with like random articles written she'd

38:05Paige DeSorbo: be stoned wait you're so right they would katherine heigl her oh she'd be done she'd chanel would like blacklist her they would ruin her um absolutely also because the arts is how you got here it's like being like was shakespeare that good it's like okay well you we needed shakespeare to get here it's like does anyone even understand shakespeare i mean what he said was crazy but it's also like this man his life is so weird right now like he's in an echo chamber of everything he does everyone around him's like yes timothy like yes yeah everyone's talking about him And he's so famous and you kind of lose touch with reality.

38:45Paige DeSorbo: And that's what we're seeing. And when when if I was a publicist, when I see my client is so fucking famous and so out of touch with reality and it's not their fault, they're dealing with an abnormal human condition. I say maybe let's not do podcasts.

39:00Hannah Berner: Yeah.

39:00Paige DeSorbo: Maybe let's not do a Q &A about life when he's sit this one out when he's not in touch with life right now.

39:06Hannah Berner: And let me just say one other thing. Yeah. I don't think that men should talk about having a child ever. I don't think that they should ever have an opinion on having a child because you've literally contributed the least amount of what you need to contribute to make an actual baby. Like the woman has to cook this baby in her body, inside of her body for nine months. If you're a woman that has chosen to live a child-free life, you've thought about living a child's free life 10 times more and 10 times harder than the woman next to you who thought about having a baby my girlfriends that have gone back and forth with having children and not have thought about it way more than my girlfriends who got married and had

39:54Paige DeSorbo: a baby within a year and some people baby it's not a decision it's just you're unable to have it and

40:00Hannah Berner: it didn't work out right or it's like a socio-economic issue they're like where women are like no I can't bring a baby into this world yeah yeah and so I think any men making any comments about like when a woman should have a baby if a woman should have a baby until you can have a baby

40:17Paige DeSorbo: don't talk about it 100 % in my stand-up show there's a portion where I talk about like if I should have kids or not and I like to you know pull the audience make a little group project and I say like who thinks I should and shouldn't have a kid and I love talking to the women And whenever a man jumps in with his opinion of whether or not I should have a kid, I go, I'm sorry. Did your butthole and vagina rip into one open sore? Women are incredible. No, thank you. I don't need your opinion on that. I'm sorry. Have you? What? How are you giving an opinion?

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45:21Paige DeSorbo: I've been on in a k-hole another k-hole of family I think it's familysearch.org now oh god let me just put an asterisk around this because I do think it's affiliated with like

45:35Hannah Berner: some religious organization oh god and I may have like put my entire family in danger but in my six-hour trip to LA the entire time I was on familysearch.org

45:47Paige DeSorbo: the entire time okay so you put first you just put yourself in you put your parents in and their birth and and where it was then it starts pulling public records of like marriage certificates um census reports and it finds their parents and then it recommends like is this the right person i went all the way to the 1400s in sicily wait i gotta do this you like i was so the 1400s babe my this is the funniest thing about my sicilian side these motherfuckers did not leave their block they lived in the same town in sicily because nothing bad ever happened in their bed my dad's grandparents max burner may burner nothing after them yeah they were polish austrian russian i can't find a single thing

46:46Hannah Berner: of that side meanwhile the italians are wait i need to do mine because if we were there like what if what if there were just like two girls that lived on the same block and they were like really funny and they were friends but like they'd get stoned if they said any of the things they i also they're like maybe i don't want to make a fucking bread this sunday did you ever think of

47:08Paige DeSorbo: that these women were having babies like it was like and these names are like incredible but they were all having like 10 kids but then like four of the 10 kids would die would die it would be like well because they had no money for food and they would get a sniffle or something but i would oh my god i'm girl these names no i need to do it nunzio yeah i love i low-key love that name

47:36Hannah Berner: nunzio giocinto nunzio is actually on my baby name was so good for a boy but my mom was like no it's too italian it's too much i love a girl named vita vita yeah i like that vita bruno

47:53Paige DeSorbo: um also erasmo erasmo pipitone shout out sorry erasmo pipitone whatever your brand

48:02Hannah Berner: it you come out with or whatever if you ever sell a product regardless of what it is that's

48:07Paige DeSorbo: the name of it vincenzo vincenzo make me a fucking caprese salad right now you know i always thought

48:15Hannah Berner: at some point in my life i would date a vincenzo and i never did wait i feel so i'm so sorry

48:20Paige DeSorbo: thank you um i have a lot of vincenzos and vincenzas these i also kind of when it comes to like naming pets kids i kind of love pulling it from your ancestors and like keeping it in the

48:36Hannah Berner: family well you heard a name the other day and i saw your wheels turning because you were like

48:41Paige DeSorbo: hmm could i name my daughter that oh yeah well okay i like the idea of names kind of a la taylor swift where like it's a name that's unisex so when she emails people can't tell if she's a man or a woman and i was telling that to one of my good friends stewart fullerton who's an amazing comedian and i was like i love your name and people call you stew and when you email people can't tell if you're a man or a woman i think that's like really good and she's like no everyone thinks i'm a gay man because i'm obviously using tons of exclamation points she's like no one

49:18Hannah Berner: thinks i'm like a tough dude wait that's so funny because i was just gonna say i love the name ryan

49:23Paige DeSorbo: for a girl yeah i love the unisex names but then also honestly the name ryan is just like too

49:31Hannah Berner: irish for me to ever use no one will believe it truly my whole family would be like who the hell

49:37Paige DeSorbo: is ryan also you have to understand too that like like stewart's like it's annoying to have to explain it all the time and i would hate for me to have like a fun little feminist moment my daughter then has to like explain herself because i had a fun i didn't name idea for the rest of her life

49:54Hannah Berner: not to toot my own horn but i think i have one of the best girl names in the game i know everyone's waiting no i'm saying oh your name it's really good fuck my daughter we don't know her you can't go wrong with no page is so it just i feel like truly encapsulates who i am as a human and it's extremely feminine and girly but it's also like one syllable there's no nonsense i it's page

50:19Paige DeSorbo: feel the exact opposite i hate my name really it's so soft no one can hear when i say it hannah hannah hannah it's not me i'm an amber that's what it should have been amber or lucy

50:35Hannah Berner: i think you're more lucy than you are amber amber gives like your amber gives such tough girl vibes like amber will fuck you up see that's who i think i am sideways that's my scorpio side but you're so you're actually i'm lucy so nice wait i'm such a lucy you're so sweet i might yeah you

50:54Paige DeSorbo: are lucy is my name i tried to change it my mom was like uh no you had to do that in college babe you're too late you could have rebranded in college as Lucy I almost did yeah if I become a pop star DJ loose you want to know what actually that's really good you want to know what women

51:18Hannah Berner: stay pivoting so I'm not gonna even say that you might not be a pop star because that someday you

51:22Paige DeSorbo: might be we know one thing about me and Paige we love surprise and the gigglers um I also this is a theory i have i think charlie xcx because her brat was so fucking good but also like kind of just auto-tuned i think it's inspired everyone to get into music like hillary duff's like i can do that like i feel like everyone's inspired by charlie xcx because like i even like lily allen

51:52Hannah Berner: she's like let's go which we both like randomly without telling each other watch the charlie xcx movie i thought it was like the only person on the planet to like see it on amazon well i paid

52:03Paige DeSorbo: 20 when i was on prime that's really embarrassing i don't want to tell people about that so did i

52:07Hannah Berner: was like rent immediately i liked it like i thought it it gave me the vibe of that show i love la

52:15Paige DeSorbo: okay so i liked it but i think it didn't know if it was a comedy or not and then i also think if you're not in that world it's not relatable except the thought that i had while i was watching

52:31Hannah Berner: it was she was outside of the box in terms of she was like i'm gonna do a movie about my tour without doing a documentary about the tour and it's like this will be the i actually really

52:44Paige DeSorbo: enjoyed it i could understand some of the critics i can understand some of the critics of it like i

52:50Hannah Berner: And I thought Kylie Jenner was so good.

52:52Paige DeSorbo: Kylie Jenner was incredible in it.

52:54Hannah Berner: She was incredible when she was like, it's not funny. No, it's actually not funny. You know what it is?

52:59Paige DeSorbo: I think people wanted her to go full comedy or no comedy. And it was kind of this in between. But again, Charlie XCX, you can't not look at her. You can't not watch her. Yeah. And she's British. So she's inherently more interesting. Yeah. Do you think that British people think that? No. I don't know. no British people are like literally are like they're not even speaking English they're like they butchered our language that's what they think that's what they think about

53:26Hannah Berner: Timothy Chalmay if I was British I would have such a superiority complex well that's why I would

53:32Paige DeSorbo: when I dated British Dave he would be like you guys ruined all the words like you add you add like you say sidewalk it's so obvious like of course you're walking on the side like instead what do they call they call it something like simpler they call it like actually i forget i don't i didn't listen to him when he was talking but he was like you guys but you know the language

53:55Hannah Berner: i would feel so much better i'd be like you guys literally like had to create another country do

54:01Paige DeSorbo: you know that the british still like technically run canada like they don't run it but they're like in charge no sorry i've been traveling a lot no i actually didn't know that about the brits can i tell you about this weekend in indian wells like we started the pod because something really crazy happened so i'm like obsessed with the tennis channel so i invited like all the tennis channel hosts to come to my suite and i met them all and i was like but also like in my head you were socialized i'm a correspondent like right now if you were like hannah you have to do a you have to call a match for indian wells i'd be like 100 and i'm over prepared for it like

54:43Hannah Berner: in my head i'm a sports broadcaster yeah and one of the girls danny was like come to the tennis

54:50Paige DeSorbo: channel desk so i go up to the broadcast and i'm like hanging out on the desk having so much fun living my life so then they were like let's do a segment for tennis channel and this girl coco vandeway um she was like let's hit now coco vandeway is um played professionally is amazing

55:14Hannah Berner: coco vandeway and i have lore okay i just love the name coco vandeway like she's iconic sorry i have

55:22Paige DeSorbo: to say it 10 times coco vandeway and she hurt grandpa i think was like a amazing football player named Kiki Vandeway great name as well great name great family of great names and athletes yes she's by the way like so fun when you meet a family of great names I played her when I was 14 years old and she's a big hitter and I'm more like crafty whatever I get up 5-2 and she's fuming like off her rocker breaks her racket and I'm like wow this she's losing her mind I'm gonna get this set an umpire comes tells her you get a point penalty like basically a slap on the wrist and she calms down and ends up coming back and beats me and I was heartbroken after that match never forgot it and I reached out to her I said you know we played each other and she was like I don't remember you and I'm like that match ruined my life so then we're hitting and it was like this incredible like full circle moment cause she just retired I'm obviously retired and we're laughing on the court hitting with each other and we had like it was just this beautiful full circle moment of two girls who in our 14 when we were 14 were in such an intense scary like

56:48Hannah Berner: angry phase make or break this is life or death like crying like it was chaos and then the two

56:55Paige DeSorbo: of us were able to just laugh and hit as two just like successful women in their 30s even though we went about it differently we like found each other again and it was just a beautiful international woman's day moment and i'm so proud of her she's like killing it as a journalist she's such a natural and she's so multifaceted and I all these girls I hated like I hated all of them in the juniors like we all hated each other it wasn't a team it was me versus you and and I'm now friends with so many of these girls I played in juniors where we all actually feel like kind of trauma bonded because we understand each other and so many of these girls have gone on to do so many

57:35Hannah Berner: amazing things so anyway I just I saw a thing the other day and it was like why do women hate each other starting at such a young age like no why do girls automatically feel so competitive with each other and some someone said because there's just a finite amount of girls that essentially get picked so like and not in a marriage way like in a work way really in every facet of our lives because there's so many men around but there's only going to be a couple women in that field and so it's kind of like even in school it's like okay well only a couple girls are gonna win the spelling bee or something so it's like you automatically are so competitive with each other and I think that it's so important for our generation I saw this other thing that it was like if you're sitting at a table you better make sure there's another woman there that you helped like

58:29Paige DeSorbo: get there oh I love that so much because in stand-up comedy if you guys look at any lineup I'll say New York City LA ever it's always four men one woman because they book the men and then they go shoot we need a woman so when you're a woman in stand-up you're like oh shit they picked her not me as the woman in the lineup and it's a man a man's world and that's why I just want to shout out of the comedy podcast of the top 10 comedy podcast the women we are representing we got amy like we have there if you look in the top 10 the women are there and i'm proud of us because we like we didn't get picked we some girl posted she was like i just it was my first day of

59:16Hannah Berner: law school and my class is 70 percent women well this is the problem they've angered us and now we've gone too hard and now they're upset and now you've made us mad and now we have to take your job fuck your dad and fire you sorry sorry about it we went from zero to 100 real quick we really did we went to like empowering women and then we were like i'll have sex with your dad side note i

59:44Paige DeSorbo: did this a zoom meeting which as an entrepreneur i love a little corporate zoom i love when i'm doing something with like a company and they're like can we hop on a zoom with the company and I'm like yes and I'm sitting there it was all women at this company now the cutest thing about this zoom is while we're doing the zoom they're all in the comments so like I would be speaking and all the girls are in the comments being like yes and like and like tagging me up being like me too girl and I was like is this normal in like a zoom corporate call that all the girls are in the comments I always get really confused when people do that it's like they don't want to interrupt you but they want to let you want to let these girls were having so much fun in the comments and then they were like saying inside giggler jokes like someone was like no notes this is the most fun corporate call but if there were men in it i feel like no one's writing in

1:00:40Hannah Berner: the comments that would be like creepy well every time i'm on a zoom now and there's like a man i like kind of call it out because that doesn't that never happens with us because we do we do kind of primarily work with all women which let me just say one thing as someone who has worked a couple different jobs and worked with like all different types of people there have been times in my life where I'm like oh fuck yeah thank god the boss is a woman like this is gonna be so much more comfortable and yes in certain parts it is like do I think she's gonna hit on me and get mad when I say no no but I've had some female bosses where I'm like holy shit well you might be one of the worst people I've ever met in my goddamn life and I actually rather be getting annoyed with a

1:01:29Paige DeSorbo: man than you right now because well because they're smarter sometimes to protect me will hurt people not to defend her but hurt people hurt people and sometimes when like you've been abused and when you know how hard it was for you to get there it goes back to what you were saying that like only so many women can get picked so it becomes a a girly girl's girly girl don't walk in the office

1:01:50Hannah Berner: and cut a bob and not say anything to me when i had a bob okay that is so you that is okay so okay so you do actually like me because now you have a room for more than one bob in the room totally there's wait but we're figuring something out we need room for more than one bob we that's

1:02:12Paige DeSorbo: the thing once there is room for more than one bob then people stop like being mean to each other but when you think there's only room you could have just said to me i love your bob i'm thinking

1:02:23Hannah Berner: about getting a bob and we would have had that moment rather than you coming in the next day miraculously having a bob and never saying you just want credit where credit's due it's not even that it's just like sometimes you do get excited to work with other females and you're like i hate the i hate that yeah actually when you said that i was like that was sexist that was disgusting i got upset i was like that was actually really vile you do get excited that like you're gonna work with other women and i will say like 80 of the time it is easier and it is better and things happen better but there are times where you're like you don't have to be so mean to me because it's only us here like we need to band together well it's giving like tyra banks

1:03:05Paige DeSorbo: hurt people hurt people but i do think like one thing i loved about tennis was it's the one sport where the women were like more famous than the men like serena sharapova monica sellis like steffi graf like these you can't argue how good they are and me and madison were playing tennis and all these men were like signing up to try to hit with us and like i don't care what gender you are you can't beat us like it's not like a right well i liked his his jokes were funny no i kicked your ass in the sport like that's just rules and it was it was no it's so empowering and yeah but also the funniest thing is lululemon they were like how do we want you to have fun go play tennis it's 90 degrees by the way and not to brag my ass is out of shape I've been on a plane since September occasional Pilates isn't gonna do it and even if I was in shape at 90 degrees playing tennis I would be tired so like 15 minutes in I'm like water break and the Lululemon girl's like do not push yourself you don't have to win this isn't like just have fun and i'm like we're dealing with a lot of demons right now yeah she literally was like hannah you don't have to win this i'm like then don't make it a competition it's tough it's so hard life is hard so i also like i almost called a medic i kept like pretending to fall down so i could lay down i was like coughing i just would have i would just would have left hannah well i was like free will what would page do no i i wouldn't leave i pushed myself be like to the point where like my throat

1:04:43Hannah Berner: was bleeding like i was like anytime there's something i don't want to do or someone i don't want to be around or just like something i don't like i remember oh i'm an adult and i'm leaving

1:04:54Paige DeSorbo: bye no my makeup artist literally pulled me aside and took a fan and was like are you like gonna faint right now and honestly that's how i felt when i did love island i was like actually i'm leaving i don't care bye which is actually so empowering but to me i'm like they finally gave a woman a chance and she's gonna she's gonna black out and here i am i'm gonna croak no that's how i

1:05:16Hannah Berner: felt doing love island i was like i finally got my mind just like i'm really excited and i was like

1:05:20Paige DeSorbo: i'm going to my bed see ya this was fun gotta go you're so right it's called boundaries also i just have to say i've been doing this new thing with my duncan ice latte where i've been putting a shot

1:05:30Hannah Berner: of raspberry i actually downed a ham and cheese croissant from duncan before we did this and i'd never had it and it was so fucking what refresher are you drinking you finished it i was drinking

1:05:42Paige DeSorbo: the strawberry dragon fruit thanks so much to duncan for partnering with us for the episode and we love you guys so much thanks for giggling see you on friday bitches

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