Giggling about judging outfits, poking, and disrespect

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1:11Hannah Berner: Okay, wait, have you ever had one of those moments where you're like, I should be doing something fun tonight, and then you just don't because you don't have what you need because same. But recently I've been trying to be more of a yes person and honestly Amazon Prime has been enabling that energy. Like the other night I randomly decided I was going to host a last minute girls night. No planning, no groceries, nothing. And instead of spiraling I just ordered everything I needed and got it that day. Snacks, drinks, even like random hosting things I absolutely didn't need but emotionally I did. And suddenly it went from maybe next time to yes tonight.

1:46Hannah Berner: That's what I love. Prime's same day delivery makes it so you can say yes before the moment slips away. Because let's be real, the only thing worse than a bad plan is a plan you never make happen. Same day delivery, it's on Prime. Available in select areas, terms apply. So if you're trying to be more spontaneous or just less chaotic, go to amazon.com slash prime to find millions of items delivered fast. Sup gigglers. Harriet, fix the Wi-Fi. manifest that shit we can't be managed

2:19Hannah Berner: I mean the day just got away from me hello governor gigglers oh shoot I messed it up you thought about it too much we have so much to talk about do we? well you're already going with the finger let's go one thing I want to compliment you and then I want to call you out what do you want first? oh I'm so scared right now I literally just got off a plane I can't deal with this right now forgot about it last week okay start with the positive

2:53wait that's so you and i would say the opposite i don't know well yeah because i'm like i'll be on a high my uber driver today told me that i have great energy and i was like i'm good for a week oh that's so nice and i said thank you that complimented my day and he goes you shouldn't let other people affect your day that much oh i said okay mal robbins okay he builds you up to

3:15Hannah Berner: beat you down i like it typical man okay my compliment is you were right it's all about wired headphones like i don't know i don't add it to the docket i think i'm going through a phase where like my airpods are never charged i can't find the other one where even are they where's the case and plugging your headphones into your phone just makes the most sense and you also like you just trust it it's old school manual electronics it's like putting a vhs in you know it's gonna play okay there's something just it's it's a moment between you and your phone you're connected i understand if you're like doing crazy workouts and stuff which we're not doing but okay okay that was like kind of a compliment what's okay what's the negative your husband actually informed me of this you were there and he said that sometimes if you're hungry and you're gonna order uber eats or order food you just order you don't take into consideration who's in the room who's in the home if they're hungry it's like one for what is the saying all for one and one for all okay that's a one-sided story okay it's one of those things in a relationship where like it happened once and you know what it was it's because I order from this coffee shop that he doesn't like so it's like he's he wakes up at 6 a.m so it's like 10 30 a.m I'm doing whatever and I'm like oh shoot I want to get like a frittata or something and some coffee and it comes and he's like you didn't ask me if I want anything I'm like you don't like this place and he's like but you should just ask me it's like typical marriage okay i i would like to apologize to you because the way he told the story that's crazy it was as if you were ordering steak dinners for one i always know what i'm in the mood for and he's very chill like i'll be like i want sushi and he's like let's go i'm very we don't hey we don't have to order from the same place that's well that's my thing yeah there's been some uber times where he's like oh i really don't want mexican and i'm like i feel like a pregnant lady if i don't get quesadillas to the face right now I'm gonna get I'm gonna become a monster so then I was like you order Chinese I order Mexican and he was like we're having dinner together yeah I'm like you know it's crazy Uber Eats doesn't it doesn't matter it doesn't matter as long as we order it at the same time it's crazy that you think we're sitting down to eat at a dinner table we're watching TV on Netflix like right so did you watch that documentary of the the profit thing yeah you know what's crazy I can't get myself to click on it because I'm just so over like I just can't with these men like it's a story that's been told no you have to watch it because I think the craziest part was that this this husband and wife that basically infiltrated this group had so much footage and documentation of all the bad stuff this guy was doing and it took the police years years They're like, well, then the FBI got involved and they were like, no, we still need like more evidence.

6:19Well, the cult thing is they're always like, then why'd you guys stay? And they don't understand that it's like emotional manipulation. Hi. Quick chess update. Oh, also, I was texting. Girls have been coming out the woodwork because all the girls, either they're like ex-girlfriends or have friends who know Magnus or girls who dated Hans.

6:45Hannah Berner: You got in with Magnus' exes? I'm so in right now, and they're all DMing me, and I'm, like, sending it to Des. Okay, so people who know Magnus claim that Magnus thinks there were people in the audience. That's how he was cheating. But then I got a direct line from one of Hans' ex-girlfriends. No, like, this is the tea that you'd be in. She says, I'm a giggler inside Scoop. I know Hans' ex-girlfriend. And she says, even she doesn't know if he cheated, but I quote, if anyone would, it would be him. After they broke up, she sold all the jewelry he bought her for$1 each on Instagram story. OK, I don't really know what that meant.

7:26Hannah Berner: I went to middle school with a kid named Hans. Oh, I remember he was bilingual. They sat me next to him during Spanish class. Huge mistake. He did all my Spanish for me. And shout out Hans. Thank you for supporting women in the arts. I remember he had a really nice home and a really pretty mom. That's like all I remember from middle school. I wonder where he is now. I knew all the pretty moms in middle school. Speaking of finding people. Yeah. Have you ever seen a girl on Instagram who has like a beautiful nose job? Like you see it, you know it's a nose job, but it's really good. Yeah. And then you're like, now I have to scroll to see what her nose looked before to be like, was it a slight?

8:05Hannah Berner: See, I like when they make it their personality because the video is pinned. see this girl this girl i was like i'm gonna find it yeah so this is what i'm doing when does is like and i'm like i'm working scrolling on my phone so i go all the way back to her instagram it starts in 2021 so this bitch she took out all of it so i said you know what i'm not quitting i go on facebook i try to find her on facebook i'm like i will find my god who even knew random girl don't know this girl she doesn't know me i just sometimes hyper fixate on things look sorry I want to have a purpose yeah sorry that you wanted to see a before and after so I'm on Facebook navigating and then I see a recommendation for a friend that's Bishop I wasn't friends with my husband on Facebook isn't that crazy it's like of the time where like we weren't using Facebook it's actually not crazy well then I friend requested him and I was like can you accept my friend request and then I'm like what photos do you have on there and he's like i don't know and i'm like well you better clean them up because i'm in a scrolling mood today so anyway doesn't have friends on facebook i poked them which by the way creepy and like such what happened to consent yeah what happened to hi how are you no one sent a message a poke the bare minimum no one cared about consent in the 2000s have you seen any of the masters discourse all i know is i was busy working this weekend my last weekend north carolina the tour is over hulu special is coming everyone get do you feel such a sense of relief i was really sad you are like going to the venue i was really sad wow because i was i you're just like i'm not gonna do this again until i write a whole new hour and it took me like two years to put it together but do you remember like our last tour show in salt lake city when like we never had a problem with the tech and then the last show there was like a oh yeah and we took it as like a sign i went up to do the god mic i started speaking in it and no one was reacting and but it sounded like it was on and i was like looking at gabby who was with me and i was like what's going on this crowd like isn't reacting to my voice and they realized the audio wasn't going to the crowd but i was like that's a sign maybe the universe is i remember our last show and i was like i was ready we know i had packed it in mentally and physically wait so des was telling me about the masters he was rooting for rory not about that i could give a shit less oh i thought what i'm with the girls gossip and i don't care who won i don't even care who was playing Anyway, so they invited some influencers to the Masters this year, okay?

10:53Hannah Berner: And people were livid. So they invite these influencers and people were mad, one, that there were influencers there, and two, on how they were dressed. I want to like watch what I say because I don't feel that passionate about it, but also I'm kind of like, uh, okay. so the number one thing people were mad about was that they kept seeing kept being like this tournament's been around for 90 years and have some respect on it and like you should be wearing like blah blah blah outfits and i've seen so many short skirts and shorts and blah blah and i'm like it's like okay it's been around for 90 years i can respect that you couldn't go even 15 years like they didn't even let women i don't think women still can go women like aren't allowed to play at most super super fancy clubs yeah so i'm like okay yes we're respecting the game the boys have been playing for 90 years no they're basically saying this is a boys club yeah like how dare you come now i did look at a couple of the girls outfits that were influencers there also obviously someone that works for the masters and the pga said hey let's let's hire a couple of influencers to come.

12:11Hannah Berner: So why would you be mad at the influencer for accepting and going? Also, there's thousands of people in horrible outfits watching the Masters. What's wrong with a couple girls? Like, should they say no? Like, oh my God, no, we can't go. It'll be disrespectful. I don't... Also, it's not disrespectful to show your thighs. Sorry. No, and then I thought I was crazy. This isn't Coachella. They're just wearing skirt, golf suits. I was like, this feels very trad wifey. Yes. Like, oh my God, how dare... Ooh, I'm pissed. get them banned so i went i went to the girls in like tiktok that they were like complaining about i already follow her cute girl like always has cute outfits on always makes like cute little videos and i look at her outfit now when i see her outfit my only critique maybe was like oh maybe it was a little casual she had like a chanel okay like top she's wearing chanel i'm i'm good top on she had a sweater over her shoulders and she had little white shorts maybe if she put like a white mini skirt on they would have been less offended no but i did not see her ass cheek at all do you see what the the dads are wearing watching the masters then i keep watching the girls making videos being like it's so disrespectful so girls are making yes and i and it's such a specific type of girl and look it just felt so like utopian like you guys are all gonna make videos calling out these influencers forgetting to go to the masters because you don't like their outfits because it's disrespectful to who the boys like it's disrespectful to the game of golf i don't think anyone gave a fuck it is who was playing it is very pick me to be like that's disrespectful to wear that what like they're gonna distract rory mcelroy i'm gonna tell a quick very quick story yes because i have a lot of opinions on golf which by the way i'm very good at it so if any boyfriends are listening i know what i'm talking about i had a 15 handicap back in my day also this pimple is ruining my life and i have been for like two weeks we both have a pimple and i called today to get it injected and she was like sorry i know something so mean yeah i saw it brewing last week that is mean i saw it like no it's bet it's been it's here and i knew it was gonna be one that like was gonna be like two heads on it i knew it was gonna ruin wait no it's can I say something though sure when you have a pimple I'm more humble you forget about all actually yes yeah but you forget about all your other problems and you put it all into your pimple and I actually think you kind of enjoy it because you wake up and you go it's the pimple the pimple is ruining my life God forbid you actually address like internal demons going on no it's gotta be my skin no I'm having a bad skin you know what it's crazy it's like women really like I have one good week a month we have one good week a month right now in my specific week I'm I hate my skin are you pre are you PMSing yeah yeah yes how about always I feel like I'm just always PMSing so when I was a golfer the other day a man asked me what menopause was I had to walk away it's not our job to educate you read a book like page okay so when I was like I think I was like 12 and we show up we like golfed on Shelter Island yeah I was wearing a tennis skirt to golf because like I'm not buying like it's all skirts whatever yeah and I play a sport with it I'm not wearing a fucking Coachella skirt which by the way they're allowed to it's belts um so my dad gets pulled aside and they're like hey she can't wear that skirt it's too short how old are you 12 okay and my dad's like that's a nike tennis skirt and she's 12 and they were like it has to be like right by the knee so they're basically like you have to dress in like an old lady like long skirt to play golf wifey like why because you're gonna distract the 50 year olds with their knees with your knees was like you're saying that you're sexualizing my 12 year old daughter right now because she's wearing a tennis yeah and like you know me it wasn't a girly tennis right it was like a navy blue plain tennis skirt with a collared shirt i felt like the mean girls mom i saw the girls tiktok i go adorable she's adorable it's so the fact that people saying that you're you showing skin is disrespectful is basically saying that women's sexuality is like dirty or inappropriate um like everyone needs to be walking around like fucking virgins all the time which by the way virginity is a construct like okay the one of the influencers that was there wishbone kitchen a hampton's sweet i mean had a professional chef had a pleated mini skirt on a uh sweater like in i don't think she was one of the girls i was called out for her outfit but like the outfits weren't insane like no one was showing up in like tube tops even the players wives i guess get like way more shit than like other sports and it's very interesting because it's like at any other sporting event there's gonna be influencers there that's just like what the world is and also i feel like if you're mad that influencers are at this event like the world evolves and it changes 50 years ago you wouldn't have even been allowed to go to the event now now influencers are allowed it's like it's just so bizarre and also obviously there's a team of people that work there that are like let's try and get some younger generation eyes on inside the event like maybe and it's not all because they want tickets or they want people to like bid for tickets or whatever it's just awareness of the sport and that's what influencers do not to be a mom but jealousy is a disease gut will soon okay that's how i felt watching the videos i felt like the influencers because i don't know the one girl her name's abby i don't know how much younger she is than me but in my head maybe she's like 28 but in my head she's like 25 years old and i'm like all these people are being mean about her outfit because they're jealous like don't then show me your trad wife dress and be like see this is what you should have worn okay maybe if you're in your 60s this girl's like in her 20s she's wearing a white mini skirt also i want to challenge people to we already have decentered men um if you haven't buy the book but i want us to also work on decentering your age i saw this on did you see that tiktok I didn't watch it Decentering age was powerful Yeah Which I'm so bad at it You're really bad at it I don't want to call you out But this was pointed This is for you I like to approach things and say This is for the gigglers But really it's for you We're all going to start group therapy You put it really strong with your identity Where I feel like age I have a pimple and now my best friend is gonna name things that I always do.

19:15But you've called yourself out on it. You were like, when I turn 30, I'm gonna kill myself. And then you were like, I actually never felt better. So I'm like, we could have avoided all of that if you weren't so hyper-focused on your age. Sorry, I'd like to have a five-year plan.

19:28Hannah Berner: And when I was turning 30, I did it. And it was really stressing me out. I do think... But no, I do. I put a lot of like onus on my age. Yeah. So I'm just putting that out there for you to work on. Okay. Add it to the list. One more thing about the masters thing too. Yes. Okay. Say I'm totally wrong and say like all the influencers were disrespecting the sport and their outfits were trashy and classless and blah, blah, blah. When something like this happens, the amount of people that are not content creators that then feel okay to make videos because it feels, it almost feels like this group mentality of like, oh, it's okay to hate on this one subject.

20:10Hannah Berner: because everyone's hating on it. Let me get some views. And so then I felt like it started to be like, are you guys actually that mad that a bunch of 25-year-olds went to the Masters? Or do you just see that it's getting discourse and you want views on your own video? Yeah, is it really upsetting your day that a girl wore a white skirt to the Masters? Also, whatever happened to seeing someone getting bullied by a lot of people and being like, hey, let's not do that. Like whatever happened. I loved in school, if you saw people bullying someone. Yeah. Being like, hey, not okay. Yes. Like that was cool.

20:49Yes. That was cool of you to say, I'm not jumping on the bandwagon because it's really easy for you guys all to gang up on one person right now. But I digress. I digress. I'm not going to live through my, you know, middle school trauma.

21:01Hannah Berner: Okay, my other TikTok discourse that I've been seeing is about Coachella. Coachella I am enjoying the people Non-influencers doing content Cause that's fun It's like show me the real experience The camping No you got me fucked up This is what I mean when I'm like I'm not traveling outside my home To see a concert I don't care how much you love someone I'm not I'm not walking to the shower Trailer If the words shower trailer are like introduced to me. I'm not going. Also, people are like, well, Hannah, you don't do drugs. That's why you don't get it. If I'm... If I'm fucked up... If I had a nickel for every situation we've been in, I'm like, you don't do drugs.

21:51Hannah Berner: You don't get it. But I'm saying, if I'm fucked up on Molly, I want to be in the comfort of a place that I know where the bathroom is, that I know where my friends are. I don't want to be high as a kite losing my friends, crazy music, Like, dark. There's dust in my face. No, I couldn't do the dust. I'd immediately call 911. And I'm sensitive. I would walk straight to the hospital. Wherever the nurse station is, I would just go there. We would be at the infirmary. We would. We'd be like, where is first aid here? I would call the police on myself and say, take me away. You'd be like, I think I'm going to pass out.

22:26Hannah Berner: I haven't eaten all day. But I love watching other people have fun and loving something. Totally. Even if I'm not capable of that. we have to discuss Justin yes so I'm getting blown up everyone's forwarding me how someone made a funny Instagram being like every man deep down just wants to show you YouTube videos yeah and I'm I'm a believer when he like got big he looked like a child so I never I just was like this kid's so talented now I mean as a grown adult I'm like he has such swag now let me say I fully understand him blowing up on YouTube and him turning to look at his older self and singing.

23:09Like it was it's so powerful and it truly is art. Like he's that's his art performance. He was showing some random YouTube. I think he just got a little carried away with like the gaudy joke and stuff. That was YouTube waterboarding.

23:23Hannah Berner: I wasn't offended, though, at all by his performance. Now, did I laugh when people were comparing him and Sabrina Carpenter? like totally but i would argue that if like lady gaga got up there and like laid on the ground i would be like that's art do you think if taylor swift did that would people be upset no i think people would love it i think people would love it because her real swifties would be like do you know how like yes connected that made us feel like we were in her bedroom just like watching youtube videos but here's the thing if i'm going to a justin bieber concert i'm not expecting like a full dance routine yeah even though he is a great dancer he is a great dancer but yeah that's not it's like going to see Beyonce and she doesn't dance and she doesn't have incredible dancers behind her you'd be like you'd feel tricked where like Justin it's I understood it and I thought it was beautiful but it did remind me a little of like stand-up comedy where like like a man will shoot his special in a sweatshirt yep in like whatever suit he has lying around no hair makeup and like i wish i could do that we're like i have to get a stylist hair and makeup hours and hours wearing heels like all there's just more that goes into presenting yourself as a woman my equivalence of that is like going on vacation with your significant other like because i feel like you're in such a confined space and you really like see the steps in their routine and the lack thereof in men like their biggest thing is ironing something but you know what you said about how he has swag and half the time they delegate it to you now that's one thing I don't do laundry yeah I won't like iron something for so I'm like do mine I actually I bought one of those like ironers that are I don't know I bought an iron Des loves ironing it's like his thing because he likes like suits that's why I had to get a steamer closet I'm like if I don't like ironing and you don't like it but what you said about Justin having confidence and swag that's what we need to channel like have the confidence to do a coachella set in a sweatshirt and you're so fucking good yeah you're so iconic that you can just show old foes yourself and people lose their fucking minds and that's the confidence that i want women to have here's the other thing i think people are being tough on him to he's he's been famous for so long like he's done the big performances like this was a new that is such a great point sabrina carpenter is on the up it's not like this was his she's establishing herself yes correct he that was almost like a lifetime achievement yeah that was almost like let's take a trip down memory lane farewell tour vibe yes yes and he's experimenting with his vibes i thought that his grammy performance was it the grammys i don't know i don't know i don't know whatever his last performance in a war show was great not act like something fucked up didn't happen to him so i'm in the realm of like he can do whatever he wants as far as i'm concerned like she must be so proud of him i think she's definitely so proud of him but i give her so much credit the hate she's had to go through for continuing to do her own thing like she does not have road because of him like she okay does she have like some of her fame because of him like yeah of course but she's also friends with a ton of famous people she was always going to be famous she financially set herself up to be independent and okay yeah like it just felt like she's dealt with so much bullshit in that relationship because of how famous they are well it feels like they've had to grow up really quickly yeah and just you know i'll never forget her being like i don't say anything to anyone i don't do anything yeah like when i go back to when we met she was getting crucified and I couldn't I couldn't even tell you why good hair days do more than we give them credit for when your hair feels healthy you show up differently you're more confident more relaxed and you're not constantly checking mirrors or adjusting your hair your hair becomes one less thing competing for your attention throughout the day neutrophil supports hair health from within, working overtime to deliver results you can see and feel.

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33:01So head to Buffalo Wild Wings to get bottomless apps for$9.99 while you still can. Speaking of men, I don't know if I should tell the full story because it's kind of gross. Oh no, who's it about? Okay, it's a friend to a friend. Okay. She said that she just got out of a really hard relationship and she met this guy who she's really into. Except. Love it. I'm going to put some lip gloss on because I'm just like my lips are a little dry. I don't know if you're going to want to put liquid on your mouth during this, but he likes to spit in her mouth. Okay. And he did it the first time like without asking, like he just kind of did it.

33:41And she was like, maybe that was just a moment, like in the heat of a moment. And then the next time he did it again. And then she was like, I don't want to kink shame him. And then I was like, what if it's your kink, though, to not be spat at? Like what That's what you're into Please don't spit on me I'm not getting into details But it's like He's It's a real It's a real spit And then Like a real It's a loogie Yeah A real hawk to us And I gagged He's hawk toing Yeah So like These are the options You think he's your soulmate But he does this Do you just say You gotta stop Do you say You can do this But you have to just like Pay a prostitute And do it with her On the side

34:20Hannah Berner: Please do not give this problem to some other girl no at least let her financially benefit from it yeah or thirdly you go hey birthdays and holidays yeah i'll let you do your little freaky things to me totally but you hate it like you don't like it so or do you realize i don't care if i like this guy in other areas i can't deal with this he's not my soulmate i'm finding it and her soulmate's even real oh my god you're i don't know what's that's it all depends on how much you like this guy i thought you were saying it all depends on how much spit he's spitting she's like what kind of that well you guys look if there's a night and you're both like oh my god we're five cocktails in it's so passionate and like you're doing weird kinky stuff like okay maybe but like a tuesday night after you just watch like the new Jon Hamm show like I don't know if I want spit in my mouth you know when you you like a guy but there's things that kind of turn you off in bed about him sorry I didn't mean to cut you off I feel like a lot of times the things guys do because they're so they are so dumb they're only doing them because they think you actually like it one girl they dated once or they watch some video where they did that and like the girl was like oh my god I really like it and they don't realize it's acting men with porn are like females to reality TV they can't understand that it's not real and then they reenact in their real life and you're like that's not how it actually there's actually so many conversations before this that you didn't see there's contracts there's lawyers there's also there was foreplay that they didn't show there were a lot of conversations that didn't lead to there's cameras there's lights there's producers yeah she didn't just come also it wasn't that good it wasn't that bad okay it's like are we getting an emmy no but it was a solid performance oh my god that is genius that's literally genius what were we even saying well i was saying i wasn't gonna say the guy um so i think that if you really don't like it like this is a non-negotiable for me i don't i think you should feel comfortable enough to be like hey I don't I'm not really into it because you don't know he might be like oh I'm not really even into that either like okay I have a small story please one time I was talking about this guy and I don't know if wires got crossed tubes were tied a little miscommunication what happened but not hard I mean not um rough is this the time you fainted

37:13sorry i can't keep track continue kim to serve was at home like page that was one time and i was safe but anyway that's a story very different he lightly like hit my face like lately

37:32Hannah Berner: and I looked at him and he looked at me and I was like I don't know and he was like totally I didn't know either I felt like and I was like I feel like I'm good on it and he was like and so am I I didn't know like good like no thank you no thank you I love how he's like sorry you just had a slappable face but also for a second I was like and he was like we better not and I was like we should have that at least was actually really communicative yeah this guy's out here just spit in also i think you got a problem on your hand yeah and i don't want to kink shame but i do think it could be worth it to be like for girls weird for girls because it's safer coming from them because yeah and that's it that's the only argument you need also why aren't girls out here like slapping and choking them i didn't know they are they are i mean there's a whole world of like dominatrix incredible which is basically what i do in my stand-up comedy show just verbally but do you think it's worth maybe him talking to someone to see like where it stems from and then maybe he'll lose like the attraction to it when he realized he's just like thinking about his mom or something where would that stem from well kinks are funny because it could be anything it could be a strong wind on a summer's day like where did it be start like spitting in someone's mouth i feel like it just started like 10 years ago i feel like it is funny awesome kinks are trendy because i guess you hear about it because like in high school i feel like i heard about the time like oh she gave him a hand job with her foot i was like what there's a lot of like where i was like that's not a thing there's a lot of dick slapping i feel like in middle school no no middle school high school high school high school what not where i'm from we waited till college also no one knew what the fuck they were doing in high school it was crazy now and the girls we weren't we didn't know what's going on and no one was actually getting fingered correctly but i digress oh you know we never discuss about men you ever go on a date with a guy and he's like totally cool you're like this guy's awesome and you like go back to your place and you like start kissing him and then he gets those like crazy eyes have you ever been with a man who has like crazy eyes where like during sex they become like ravenous and you're like I don't know who this man is and then you're like I'm out like you're freaking me out like some guys turn like Jekyll and Mr.

39:58Hyde when they have like I'm like where did you go yeah like where are you I've only had

40:02Hannah Berner: one instance where a guy like um I didn't realize but there was a mirror behind me and like I kept seeing him like

40:15you hate mirrors for girls I was like hello he kept he would bite his bottom lip and like look in the mirror and I was like I think we're done here like thank you so much for your time I just know sometimes when guys start getting into sex mode they like change sometimes and i'm like where did you go who is this man this is not the man i was on a date with i haven't like fully felt that i feel like that's well i feel like also you're very focused on yourself so i feel like you wouldn't notice if you have to be i changed

40:51Hannah Berner: as long as they're looking at me i don't care do you remember the penis game no this is a very sexual episode you never played penis game like where you have to yell penis yeah yeah how did that i never really popular i never really played though yeah that's not page coded like in like eighth grade when people were like doing it in class i was like juvenile i feel like it was like in new york city it almost wasn't fun because like you could literally do anything in new york city and no one looked right like you could be like penis and everyone's like i know that's just a tuesday outside the building that's just 10 a.m on a tuesday in the lower east side you know we didn't talk about um did you see that lena dunham did a podcast with the new york times like did like an interview with the new york times i did see clips from that i just feel like people don't give her enough credit and people were so mean to her when she came out with girls she was talking about how she like didn't understand why people hated her so much like why she annoyed people so much yeah and she said she was talking to her like best friend and her friend was like lena you've annoyed people since we were in kindergarten.

41:54Hannah Berner: And she was like, oh yeah, I've been annoying for years, but it's because she's inquisitive. She's asking questions. She's creative. Girls was her show if she had a different idea. People really were so mean to her. And she said one of the number one things was people could not understand her body and she was like and mind you I was 26 years old like I was just existing and the biggest thing was like she would never hook up with that guy like looking the way she looks and that wasn't that long ago also let's be honest when you're a funny girl you could fuck anyone you want totally and she was quirky and funny and interesting and she had cool tattoos also girls was i think so the show of our generation i've i have not seen a show that depicts what some female personalities are so well so funny who would you be on the show oh i guess hannah i it's so funny because i feel like i'd be marnie you're a thousand percent marnie and i'm a thousand percent hannah oh my god i'm like it's about me right now except you would never do a song that would be me i would never do a song but like i totally would get back with my heroin boyfriend for like 24 hours yeah i thought jessa was the coolest thing like jessa could do no wrong in my book except then when she ends up with adam yeah that which was crazy that i can't there's more men in the city there's too many men in the city for you to do that i can't believe that was the ending that like really upset me by the way Her body was gorgeous and her confidence in general of just putting herself out there creatively in so many different ways is insane.

43:45Hannah Berner: Well, it's also just the sheer intelligence that she had. To be able to articulate to an entire demographic and generation exactly what they're living through is... And then to have the next generation for it to hold up is iconic. And you know what's even sadder is that she had like serious depression and mental problems after She had the biggest hit show. Yeah at a young age, so it's like She did what she thought she needed to do to be happy and it like really fucked her up. Yeah Anyway, we love anyway. Love you Lena. Shout out just such a big fan of her. Oh, I have an Addison Rae take Okay Everyone keeps coming for her about like she's trying to be Britney.

44:31She's trying to be Britney I think just that I'm out there I think she should shift her inspo to more like Marilyn Monroe because I actually feel like there's a connection with her and Marilyn Monroe in a way that like Marilyn Monroe came up like doing calendars and like things that no one would respect like as a model and then she started to break into Hollywood and they still didn't want to respect her even though she was talented and beautiful and they also have like similar bodies where they're both like voluptuous and like you just they look gorgeous.

45:03Hannah Berner: Why are people so mean to her? I mean let's start from where do you want to begin? Because she came from TikTok? Like I don't get. Yeah because people when they think people don't deserve what they got but then it's like they're mad at Nepo babies. So I'm like you can't start from TikTok. You can't start from that. Oh you want the gatekeepers of Hollywood to have picked her? Yeah. Like I love someone who comes from. Anything. Anywhere. Anywhere. I love people who come. Doing anything. I love people who came. She had a really good Coachella performance. I also like I don't know if this is just me but totally I love talking about like different discourse and like different opinions that people have and who sides on whatever but I'm sorry once the person is one year younger than me I don't care I don't care because like how are grown women getting on the internet and doing full dissertations on whether or not Addison Rae deserves to be at Coachella.

46:00Hannah Berner: Oh, my God. Do yourself a favor and, like, read a book. Kind of like fighting with – read one book. Read a book. Read a book. It's like – imagine – Someone – a gayler DMed me and was like, I feel as though you've fallen off from reading because you haven't brought it up. She's like, I really hope you did it. I was like, okay. Someone has to keep you accountable. So it's like fighting with your 25-year-old self. Like, can you imagine trying to fight with your 25-year-old self? I'd just be like, you need a hug. Give me a hug and it'll be okay. No, that's why like with the whole masters thing, it was like a lot of like adult women being like, it's so disrespectful what they're wearing.

46:39Hannah Berner: And it's like, is it that disrespectful? Like to what some 90 year old man, who cares? Back to me. Yeah. I want to be able to do a split. I felt this coming. And I know I joked about before that I'd be intolerable if I do a split, but like. I believe in you so hard, especially because you believe I could have a pixie cut. There's no situation you will ever be able to do a split. Because I know you. You know what happened? I saw Hannah Einbinder, who I love, do a split during some like talk at a theater. Okay, and did Hannah Einbinder play tennis for the amount of years that you played? She was a cheerleader.

47:17Hannah Berner: Okay, and does she have your hip flexors? No. And you know I've been watching a ton of drag race and they do all these splits. Hannah. and I'm like you're gonna hurt yourself well I don't think genetically it's like possible but then you know how I like to find like the hardest thing ever and be like should I do it like imagine if I could do a split like how cool would I be you know I bought a splits machine you did this behind my back oh wait no you told me yeah I had it like where is it I don't know um but anyway Can you do a split? No. But, like, do you think you stretch for, like, three months so you could do a split?

47:55Hannah Berner: Not a middle split. But if I stretch for three months, could I do a one, like, one side split? Yeah, probably. See, my thing is I will never do a middle split. I wasn't even considering that. Yeah. Like, I want to do normal split but, like, fall down into it. Like, be like. Yeah. And from. That's really hard. No, I know. From the giggler's perspective, I want to know, girls who can do that, do you not have lower back pain? because you're like so flexible because i feel like if i did splits i think it would save my life explain the saving your life part i think it would help like my whole body would be less tight i think it would be really good for you to like stretch as if you're trying to accomplish a split yeah because like reach for the moon hit the stars i mean like obviously like my pussy will always be like too tight but like that's something i just have to deal with this is a different part That's a different thing and like your ear canals or whatever.

48:47Do you want to know what my new obsession is besides splits?

48:49Hannah Berner: Yep. Female poker players. Where are you coming across them? I came across my algorithm on Instagram. It's always like a hot girl. Yeah, like they're going to tournaments. Yeah, and she's wearing shades. I feel like Tana Mojo does this. I think she does too. They're always just like hot and like not making any expression. And this girl basically won$1.7 million off this guy. just sitting there and she went cool and it was like oh like i have to like look up her name but it was just i love when women go into male-dominated fields like chess or stand-up or do you know how to play poker no but i dated a poker i'm not gonna say poker player let's say what it was he was addicted to poker it was a problem i'm not gonna say it was his professional trade but he did have a grambling problem yeah like he didn't have a job and he was doing poker at night and I'm I don't know where was he doing poker at night in New York City I guess there's like there's like underground games where like sometimes he'd win like a Molly's game he'd win like two thousand dollars one night and then he'd like lose a thousand dollars the next night and like that was his thing my cortisol levels could never I have no like adrenaline seeking no part of my personality at all like even going into like a casino like if you're on vacation and there's like a casino or like yeah whatever i don't care to lose 40 in 10 minutes yeah two minutes no and because it's not fun for me yeah see it well where i'm more like i don't know what's going on and i feel like you're just tricking me yeah well but that's actually just honest like the house always wins no if it's someone else's money like you're with a man or something and they're like we're gonna play like great i'd rather keep it i'd rather pay 40 to pet a cat at a rescue center.

50:40Literally take all my money. Take all my money. I'm not putting it in, like, slots. That wasn't a joke. That was just a fact.

50:49Hannah Berner: You know, I'm just like, how do we come up with a business where it's, like, the honor system and it's like, put$40 in this bucket and you can put your hand in here and put a cat. Well, someone was trying to start a business about, like, girls who have cats who, like, or girls, so when they travel, other cat girls can stay at their house and pet their cat. So it's like you just have cat people taking care of each other's cats. And I feel like it's safe because it's just like girls and their cats. Yes. But some man will ruin it. This episode is presented by Depop. Okay, Gigglers, can we talk about the fact that we all have a section in our closet that basically is just vibes and delusion?

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52:04Hannah Berner: That means what you earn is yours. Even if you sell one thing, that's a win. Also, Depop has built-in tools like offers and boosted listings so your pieces actually get seen by people who share your taste. Because trust, someone out there is searching for the exact jacket you're saving. So download the Depop app, list one item, and let your closet start paying you back. It's chic, it's productive, it's Depop. It's the Wayday at Wayfair. From April 25th through the 27th, you can score the best deals in-home, like 80 % off with free shipping on everything. Wayfair makes it easy to find exactly what fits your style and needs, from furniture and decor to home improvement and outdoor essentials.

52:47Hannah Berner: And it's all on sale during Wayday. Upgrade your space with quality pieces that work with your budget. And the best part? Everything ships fast and free during Wayday. I like to make little changes to my space, like just ordering blankets off of Wayfair really changes the vibe of your couch, of your living room, and it's not like you have to really commit to something big. So whether you want to upgrade to your living space with accent pieces or you want a brand new couch and you just want all new stuff, Wayfair makes it simple to narrow down to exactly what works for your style and budget. Installation and assembly service is available for a true seamless experience.

53:25Hannah Berner: and it's so easy to shop, order, and receive your items. Wayday is the sale to shop the best deals in-home. We're talking up to 80 % off with fast and free shipping on everything. Head to Wayfair.com April 25th through the 27th to shop Wayday. That's W-A-Y-F-A-I-R.com. Wayfair, every style, every home. Giggling in Bed brought to you by Mattress Firm. I feel like once I hit 30, I just woke up feeling sore all the time and I realized that it had to do with my mattress. There's nothing like knowing you have a full day of work, you have to wake up at like 6 a.m. and your neck hurts. No, I'll actually die.

54:06Hannah Berner: Mattress Firm sleep experts can find the right mattress for improved support, not only for your neck, but your entire body and sleep. Mattress Firm carries a curated premium selection of mattresses so you can get the upgrade you really need and want. For the great sleep you deserve, visit Mattress Firm during the Upgrade Your Sleep sale. They make sleep easy. Okay, wait, have you ever had one of those moments where you're like, I should be doing something fun tonight, and then you just don't because you don't have what you need? Because same. But recently, I've been trying to be more of a yes person, and honestly, Amazon Prime has been enabling that energy.

54:42Hannah Berner: Like the other night, I randomly decided I was going to host a last-minute girls' night. No planning, no groceries, nothing. And instead of spiraling, I just ordered everything I needed and got it that day. Snacks, drinks, even like random hosting things I absolutely didn't need, but emotionally I did. And suddenly it went from maybe next time to yes, tonight. That's what I love. Prime's same day delivery makes it so you can say yes before the moment slips away. Because let's be real, the only thing worse than a bad plan is a plan you never make happen. Same day delivery, it's on Prime. Available in select areas, terms apply.

55:17So if you're trying to be more spontaneous or just less chaotic go to amazon.com slash prime to find millions of items delivered

55:23Hannah Berner: fast i got kitty this new bed where you like suction cup it basically to the window yeah does she like it she's obsessed with it is where she naps now every single day oh my god because she gets to be perched yeah she needs to be perched that shows confidence when a cat likes to be high up because she likes to look down on everyone she absolutely loves looking down on people that's so exciting because so many times you get your cat something you saw on instagram and the cat's like what the fuck is this it takes kitty a full month like if i get something new she has to look at it for a month she's like make sure it doesn't make any weird moves yeah she's like i don't know yet and then once she likes it she's in we should all learn from that don't be impulsive about things yeah oh i saw this statistic that was like and i'm botching it but it was like 65 to 70 percent of organ donors are women.

56:17We have the same. Did you see that? It said 80 % of organ donors are women and 80 % of organ recipients are men. Isn't that nuts? Ban them. Get them banned. So they're dying before us. Well, we're keeping them alive. Also, why? What's the psychology behind that? That men are like, don't use my organs to help people.

56:38Hannah Berner: Well, then there was like this other thing that I saw that it was like, you can say you're an organ donor but then you can have the option i think to not give your organs yeah and that's what happens with the men where the women say like yeah i'll be an organ donor and then they follow through and then they like givers we're caretakers also where are the 3d printers when you need them wait i keep getting on my tiktok like all like women that have 3d printers well they're like i'm like looking at all the stuff that they make they're the women in stem of the week like they make like clips for your for your chips and like different like household items i think we should get one i'm a little annoyed with the instagram algorithm because like i'll stop to watch one video of someone like making a acai bowl and then the next 20 minutes is only acai bowls wait my flavor today is acai berry of your refresher acai berry i think is my new jam strawberry dragon fruit dunk and refresher and i love it i got it with water it's really good um can i ask you a fashion question sure waist scarves what are your thoughts fun easy trend i feel like it's a trend that looks good but like i can't pull it off like it's too try hard on me like people are like okay stop with the scarf that's true if you did like a baggy pant a little scarf and like a simple tank top you could do it but my torso is so long that like i don't think It'll look weird.

58:04It'll look like my scarf is on my knees. It'll look like, oh my God. It shows my torso more.

58:10Hannah Berner: Where on your waist are you trying to put up? Around my waist. Well, then why don't you just say so? Yo, where on your waist? I don't know how many options of your waist are there. Like high up? Or low-waisted through your belt loops? I don't know, but honestly. You don't even want to try it. Do you? I do, but anything that brings attention to my torso like doesn't look like the girls on Pinterest. And that's my battle. That's the cross that you bear. That's the cross I bear. Would you wear a waist scarf? I have worn a waist scarf. She goes, bitch, I've been wearing waist scarves. I wear a waist scarf I hate to piss some people off but last summer.

58:47Oh! Oh!

58:49Hannah Berner: Yeah. I've been in my waist scarf game. Fringe. I had fringe dresses two summers ago. Everyone wants to know what would Paige DeSorbo wear to Coachella if she had a gun to her head and was forced contractually. Someone was spitting in my mouth. What would your go-to look be? Baggy jeans and like a cool like crystal-y top and then one day I'd do like a mini short and boots. So you've thought of it. Of course. Of course I have but I'm I'm like, I'm not going. That's insane. I feel like some of these girls, everyone's like, oh, the outfits are all ugly. That wasn't my first impression. That was another thing that was going on on TikTok.

59:37Hannah Berner: Like, everyone's outfits were just, I'm like. I don't think they were that ugly. I'm like, I thought the girls looked cute. My thing was, I was just like, I think you guys are going to be hot in that. Yeah. Like, they have so many layers. And then I'm worried about people. No, well, I think it gets cold at night when the sun goes down because it's the desert. Oh. But then it's like, you got to walk around with. Your jacket. The jacket. That makes me worried. my thing is that everyone's like it's really dusty and like gets in your eye you get one dust particle in your eye and you're hungry you're done oh yeah like the two of us at Coachella would be a nightmare because you'd be like I'm starving and I would be like I can't my heels are sticking into the ground like we'd be a mess well we did go to one festival together which one well when we played that Vegas festival we had to do a Giggly Squad show and that's when all the The Vanderpump cast came to watch with us, and Sheena and Ariana.

1:00:29Hannah Berner: Yeah. And Raquel. This was right before Scandaval. Scandaval. They were all together. And Sheena, I do have to say, shout out to Sheena. She's fun. She met her husband at a festival. Sheena and Ariana still go. They love festivals. To Coachella. And they know we know, and they'll still be like, do you want to come? But they're LA people. Yeah. It's like easy. That's what people do. It's their thing. They're lawless. Yeah. They have a je ne sais quoi about them. so she was free spirit yes so it was after the show which you know we both were like now if they were doing a festival at eataly in new york city i would go to it i mean we'd be running that festival i'd be in the front with a microphone yeah made of parmesan but after the show we were both like where's mcdonald's and she knew was like jack harlow's playing yeah and that was the time when you had like your weird crush on him yeah so you were like let's see jack harlow we get there We're like 25 minutes in And we realize like This has been fun Totally We gotta go But Sheena was like So happy we were there Sheena was like It just started We had to Like we had to like Distract her And then we made a run for it Through the crowd And Sheena was like Where are you guys And we were like Nope We were like It's not our journey anymore We like had to escape The festival We were like Go without us You'll be better off Save yourself Yeah We'll only drag you down They made fun of Jack Harlow on SNL.

1:01:54Hannah Berner: Did they? Well, he's being weird recently. It was really funny. Jack Harlow posted that his aunt messaged him and said, I'm so proud of you for speaking up for yourself on SNL this weekend. And he goes, they were making fun of me. That wasn't me. That was an impersonation of me. Oh, that actually makes me feel bad for him. How come every time I say that I like a guy, they become weird? They do weird things. I.E. Army Hammer. Remember that era? Jonah Hill What a freak that guy turned into It's almost like I have like I put a hex on them Or you have bad taste You can't have good taste in everything That's so true It's so true It makes you human Yeah Are you gonna watch Coachella Like on YouTube or anything?

1:02:36Hannah Berner: No I'm not gonna watch Coachella on YouTube I have a family Okay People count on me to give them their paycheck I don't have time to watch Coachella on YouTube and it's kitty's birthday this week like i'm booked is it her birthday no it was actually april 7th but i but her crown didn't come in time so we took a picture i was like kitty i'm so sorry so we had to do pictures today you did a photo shoot yeah and she got an extra tuna stick did you get a psychic for her how was this not brought up in the very beginning didn't that work out i called mystic mikaela the other day because I was like Daphne's been hanging around like a dog a lot and I just want to see like if she if she's vibing with it and headline of this phone call which was like 15 minutes it was quick I was with my brother's girlfriend I was like want to do something fun and she was like sure what and I was like let's go I got her on speed dial she was like what and I was like ask her whatever you want Daphne's not worried about being around a dog because she's like this is temporary my mom would never she thinks you're going through something this is temporary you're temporary like my mom would never let me be around you for much longer so she's like doesn't care about the dog and the dog really wants to be friends with her and i quote daphne goes get a life she goes you're a loser yeah she's like you want to be my friend get a fucking life Me and my mom are friends.

1:04:11You can't sit with us. Okay, well, that makes me happy, but I mean, nothing we didn't know about Daph. No, literally nothing.

1:04:18Hannah Berner: I looked at her when I got off the phone, and I was like, if anything, you stay true to you, and I love that. When I posted a selfie with Daphne, everyone was like, she's disgusted by you. I was like, I know. I can't look her direct in the eye. It's too beautiful. Oh, she also said that Daphne knows that everyone thinks she's pretty, and she like she it doesn't stress her out because she knew she was like born for this life like when i came to get her like she knew that she wasn't staying there like she was going home with she's like i'm she was like for a different life she was like i'm not gonna grow up in this town i have a new york city life ahead of me yeah she's like i'm better than you guys gonna be in lights and i'm never gonna see you low lives again she's like i don't care if you're my siblings you're dead to me lose my number if they say you're related to me i will deny it and i'll see you in small claims court um thank you guys for giggling with us we love you so so much um is there anything coming up oh yeah page and i are gonna be at a movie oh the devil was proud of two premiere are we allowed to say that yeah why can't we okay me and hannah are gonna be there we're gonna be there so keep an eye out we love duncan so much thank you for partnering with us.

1:05:37Love you. Bye.

1:05:43Hannah Berner: Okay, wait, have you ever had one of those moments where you're like, I should be doing something fun tonight. And then you just don't because you don't have what you need. Because same. But recently, I've been trying to be more of a yes person. And honestly, Amazon Prime has been enabling that energy. Like the other night, I randomly decided I was going to host a last minute girls night, no planning, no groceries, nothing. And instead of spiraling, I just ordered everything I needed and got it that day. Snacks, drinks, even like random hosting things I absolutely didn't need, but emotionally I did.

1:06:15Hannah Berner: And suddenly it went from maybe next time to yes, tonight. That's what I love. Prime's same-day delivery makes it so you can say yes before the moment slips away. Because let's be real, the only thing worse than a bad plan is a plan you never make happen. Same-day delivery, it's on Prime. Available in select areas, terms apply. So if you're trying to be more spontaneous or just less chaotic, go to Amazon.com slash Prime to find millions of items delivered fast.

1:06:44Introducing Home Care Plus, a new subscription service from Lowe's that helps make life easier by giving members a hand with home maintenance. Let Lowe's tackle the tasks you keep meaning to do, like electric dryer vent cleaning, replacing hard to reach light bulbs and more. Subscribe to Home Care Plus for just$99 a year and consider your to-do list done. members get more at Lowe's available in select zip codes only cancel anytime non-refundable fee product purchase required terms and service restrictions apply details at lowes.com slash terms subject to change