Giggling about leftovers, exes, and the dmv

0:28Sup gigglers Scorpio rising which counts as something like we we have Scorpio vibes on this pod um you're a witch I have a question for you like I literally can't stop thinking about this once it came into my brain I couldn't stop where the fuck is Jack Harlow so many people have been saying that online I didn't even see that like I haven't seen any correspondence you know what's funny is like I I don't feel like he's like missing. Has he come up on your feet? No.

1:02I'm not worried where he is yet. I mean, I love men taking a break. He's taking a rest. Let men rest because if they don't rest, bad things happen. Yeah, they get cranky and they start throwing things. They get people pregnant. Let them chill out. Okay, so we hope that Jack Harlow's resting, having fun. We hope that he's okay. Yeah, we send our love. How was your week? Wait. Oh, we're at Halloween. We're at Halloween. We're at Halloween. Wait. Wait. Actually. Wait. Wait. Wait. I actually have so many things to say about Halloween. Yeah. It's actually crazy. Okay, so this year, okay, so living in New York City, you have to, like, sign up for trick-or-treaters, like, in your own building.

1:53on like a sign-up sheet whatever in my building I've seen about three kids my whole life like there so I'm like surely there's not gonna be that many kids like I can get a hundred pieces of candy and like I'm gonna be good those little fuckers wiped me out in like 45 minutes I was like wait, I'm ill-prepared. I'm like, I'm freaking out. I'm like, what's the protocol? Are they taking handfuls? No, I do. At my home, we are a full-size candy bar house. So it was one per kid. Let me tell you something. Seeing the difference between a group of, I don't know, nine to 11-year-old boys compared to their counterparts of girls 9 to 11.

2:46Well, a 9-year-old boy will mug you to your face. No, I actually almost yelled, help. I had this massive, I should have taken a picture. I had this massive glass vase because I didn't have a big enough bowl. So I was like, oh, this actually is perfect. It looks a little spooky. It looks like a big glass cauldron. I was like, perfect output. And so the hole to put your hand in to get the candy is not as wide as the bowl. It's a little bit more narrow. The boys came up and rang my doorbell, and all seven of them tried to put their hand in the bowl at the same time, causing one of those Chinese finger things.

3:31So none of them could get any candy, but they also couldn't get out. I said, boys. you gotta go one at a time you're not gonna get any okay you gotta start slow before you just start going crazy in there i'm like and you you grow up to run our country four minutes later a group of nine-year-old fairies comes in gorgeous stunning dainty sparkly so much this was so sweet may i may i please i'm like you are angels angels back in my day we we let the adult hand us the candy and put it in our bag we say trick or treat and you hold out your bag and you say oh yeah we're not grabbing not these neanderthals okay the times have changed then here's the other thing okay so it's like you it's like a time because it's i think like in a building it's like there's like a cutoff time so like it ended at like I want to say like seven o 'clock or no I think eight o 'clock but I had run out of candy like 45 minutes prior to that and I was like shoot like what do I do I couldn't like leave well I mean I guess I could have not not in my cards I was like you know what Halloween's over like I'm done so I texted my only friend that's like married and has her life together and I was like hey what's the so do you but I i didn't think of myself when you said that i was like who i was like hey katie what's the protocol when you've run out of candy like do you just not open the door the shop's closed 86 she was like page it's totally fine if you do not answer your door it's a friday night you participated don't be so hard on yourself halloween's over i was like thank you so much katie i knew it was boys if i didn't answer my door they started banging on my door i was like oh they go we're gonna break this down i called my dad i go my dad i go the boys are knocking down my door what do i do he goes well you should have gone and gotten more candy then i was pissed i was like no greedy no no i'm like i'm not going and getting more it's over you did above and beyond considering we're this awkward age of human where we're not young enough to trick-or-treat but we're not old enough to have kids and partake in trick-or-treating so we're like in this like in between phase where it's like we've been it's been years since we've trick-or-treated i think you're making that spectrum a tad broad i mean what you don't go from trick-or-treating to giving birth you have high school in the middle like that's crazy what are you saying i feel like there's something about in your 30s not having kids being involved with halloween that just doesn't sit well with me no it's not right it's actually not right and we don't know what to do i felt weird if my i don't know why i keep saying the word counterpart today it's really like it's really nailing it though because i'm thinking about like a 33 year old single guy yeah like if my kids are trick-or-treating at his door i'm like i'm like why the fuck do you participate in this are you giving people full snickers you fucking weirdo yeah i'm like no no i do also think you getting the full candy was like a little crazy it's a little pick me okay do you want to know why i did that because growing up my mom's birthday was on halloween so halloween was always like a big deal at our house specifically and my dad only gave out full-size candy bars during halloween and it was like such a thing in our neighborhood like he's the guy I got a guy I got a guy his name's Gary it shaped my childhood in so many different ways so now as an adult I'm like I have to do full-size candy bars it's one night a week but wait I'm actually not done with Halloween I was talking to one of my girlfriends and she was like um oh I make my kids like give away their Halloween candy and I looked at her and I go sorry you're a monster to who i was like my they're children i go to whom are you making them give it away and she told me this whole thing she was like there's this thing called like the switch witch and you give her all your candy and then you switch it out for like a toy of your choice she was like i let them keep like a couple pieces and then i switch it out and i was like okay sounds actually great but as a former child i'm livid i was like i can't even i guess she's teaching them like checks and balances at an early age like i don't it just seems like a lot of like administrative work yeah i mean it is probably the healthier option but i'm like i couldn't i can't then what am i gonna do then i have none yeah my thing was my mom was just like please don't get sick don't get sick it was all about like when I was gonna get sick from like stuffing my face one note about getting sick I just I had the funniest thing happen to me this week I'm having stomach problems and I'm not trying to make this gross I just need to let you guys know like no I'm having you have IBS I have IBS for sure and I yeah no one cares and I obviously haven't taken care of it I was just gonna say have you ever gone to a doctor for any of it well this is the thing I told my husband this but then like we go to we're going to brunch and i'm like i think i have a stomach problem like i'm always have a stomach ache then we get there and i order the crab cake benedict so like i'm not doing myself any favors like why would i order the crab cake benedict let me get seafood with a cream sauce to tap that off at 10 30 a.m at this point i'm self-sabotaging like i'm like but it's like that's what i want you're like a child testing the waters you're like what if i stuff it full of cheese or i'm like if i'm gonna have diarrhea anyway why not go off why not go hard why not live life if it's gonna go through me and then of course i get like the like maple latte applesauce latte and that's gonna go right through me with whole milk and then i get mad when i have a stomach ache so my husband's just like he said what you said he's like you got it like get checked I did once do like a am I allergic to anything and I didn't get anything so I thought I was just I like don't believe in those tests though I think you can have like an intolerance and it not be like full flight like I feel like it truly is a spectrum yeah so I'm like all things like sorry I'm not allergic to grass there's other issues going on I think you should do that thing where people take out like one thing and just see see I this is coming from a person who once said I'm gonna go on a diet and by dinner i forgot i was on a diet yeah i think i think you really need to just like cut the dairy okay or at least wean it back just take wean such a funny word like literal drug addicts with dairy we're like hey i don't want you to withdraw have a little bit at breakfast last time last time i tried to not do dairy i ate butter and i was like butter's not dairy but so then i tell i tell des i'm like i can't eat right now even like he wanted to like hook up and i was like no i have a stomach ache i can't and he was like okay and he left to go golfing i'm like i have a stomach ache but then like two hours go by and i got hungry i was shitting myself so i was really like i was empty i was so hungry so i opened the fridge he was like i feel Like you're doing this on purpose.

11:09There's a strong smell coming from the fridge and I, it's like leftovers and I open it and it looks like it's like, like parsnip puree type sweet smell. I'm like, okay, I don't like that. But then I noticed the ribs and I was like, oh my God, ribs. And I'm like, let me just taste a little bit of it. And it tasted so good. Next thing you know, I eat like four ribs. And then next thing you know, I'm balls deep in barbecue sauce. I don't know how I got there. I'm having amnesia. my husband comes home Des comes home I'm lying on the floor ribs all over me I spent our whole bank account I have a fucking needle in my arm with barbecue sauce the house there's a foreclosure sign out in front of the house he looks at me and he's like are you hungry for dinner and I'm like no I actually had the ribs inside they're really good and he goes what and i said yeah the ribs are really good he goes babe those are like over a week old and i was like what do you wait what do you mean because my parents had come over like actually like five days ago and i was like it thought was from when my parents came and he's like no that's a week and a half and he's like oh so it's my fault it's my fault so we're sitting there and i'm like so what's gonna happen this is like this This is, I've dreamt of this scenario with you, but in terms of like taking a drug, like you sitting there being like, wait, so what's going to happen in the next couple of hours?

12:41Oh, I know. I was like, what should I go? Should I throw up? And I'm like, no, I can't make myself throw up. Like, I literally won't. Like, I can't throw up. It's like my biggest fear. Oh my God. You're so lucky you didn't have to like go to the hospital. No, well, that's what he's Googling it. And he's like, we might have to go to the hospital. And I'm just sitting there like scared, waiting for something to erupt. And he's like, why would you do that? you have stomach problems why would you eat ribs if you like have a stomach ache and i was like i don't know like i'm just complex like i don't know he's like have you ever heard of a goddamn cracker a piece of fucking toast

13:21a rice cake you're like do you have a barbecue marmalade

13:29which i'm pretty sure that has equal eyes like it was coleslaw like it was i went crazy i blacked out he literally all he wanted to do was like have sex and he's like we probably like a 30 minute window by the way this is marriage you guys trying to have sex in between me having diarrhea hitting yourself so we hook up it was fucking crazy i'm like sweating i'm like is this because i'm about to die i'm not going on top like that would be crazy like that would be honestly just from the laws of physics that would be such a death wish also then we got in a fight because right before we hooked i love saying hooked up with my husband yeah it's actually making it so like team novel i'm like obsessed and right before i go in to kiss him i smell my armpit and he's like can you not do that you're a barn animal and i was like why i was checking before i like got all up in you like i was checking if i smell good he's like can you not do that right before you kiss me i'm on his side with that one like what a jarring move but then i was like okay do i have to be like subtle with it like anyway so then we just kind of sat there awkwardly for a while and my stomach was a hundred percent fine like arguably the best it's been in a long time i've seen worse get the fuck out of my stomach's like whatever bacterial infection you had i think it canceled it out so i was fine me we went to college please this is fucking amateur hour so you think someone with the most sensitive stomach ever shouldn't eat two week old meat but i throve i thrived no that's why i really think yours is mental no no specifically dairy because every time you really do have like a crazy poop attack you've either had like sour cream melted cheese a latte wait you're turning me on

15:51no sour cream and melted yes you're like wait those are all my favorite

16:03oh god so keep you guys posted um wait so we we both did the same thing for halloween we took photos and then called it a day how long did your hair and makeup that's like an adult thing to do how long did it take to get your outfit together well i had to get hair and makeup for something else like prior in the morning so i was like let me just tack on this so it wasn't like i it was like a whole production it was literally like taylor did my makeup in like 30 minutes and mitchell just like put a wig on me but it was fun it was cute and i wanted to do something for Daphne. She looked amazing. She looked amazing.

16:45She was really like not feeling it but it was fine. Daphne's tired. She's tired. She's been working a lot. She's she's exhausted. I made Grace come with me to Manhattan mini storage. I saw that because that's where I have some stuff stored and I realized it looks just like the severance hallways and you like really looked like her oh my god thank you i think halloween costumes are good when you like naturally slightly look like the person like post malone or you look like a cat a cat next year we have to do a couples thing yeah people sent me some good ideas for us and i was like duh of course we should have done that but we both i came up with my costume like a week before a week before oh but also i ordered so many things for this costume and the skirt didn't arrive the day of so i had grace go up and get a hugo boss navy um skirt which is gorgeous pencil skirt so cunty um but that was the day of so it got kind of crazy it was a little devil wears prada i was like you were having to get this look together absolutely yeah um one last thing about Halloween.

17:59So, look, not that I would ever take sides. Because I'm not dialed in enough to even take a side. But I am an appreciator of art. Okay? And so when somebody claps back or has a rebuttal in an artful way, I'm tuned in. I'm sad. I want to appreciate it. You're impressed almost. I dare to say I'm impressed. So Travis Kelsey's ex-girlfriend, Kayla, did you see what she did for Halloween? I have in all my days, I don't think I've seen a better executed, like, hey, you said something about me. This is what I wanted to say back to it. I watched it 400 times. I mean, I couldn't stop. For people that don't know, everyone was saying that Taylor Swift had said something in her new album kind of like shading Travis's ex Kayla so for Halloween Kayla dressed as Tony Braxton from a very specific music video of the song named he's not man enough for me which in the lyrics it says I told him to leave so I don't care that you're marrying him because I'm not thinking about him he's thinking about me he wasn't man enough for me I don't want him and if I had a nickel I've had I would have a million nickels but it was just so elegantly clapped back at in like a very simple way and I would just I was really impressed because the clapping back can go sour it can look too hard you can look bad yes you could look it could be a bit too mean yes you don't know where your threshold is until the internet gets a hold of it a hundred percent but she looked stunning see i'm i'm on my like dancing with the stars you know run you've got a lot of drama going on over there no but i saw that i said put kayla on dancing with the stars now i'm a casting director for dancing with the stars now i produce i'm producing dancing with the stars put her on dancing with the stars put her on dancing with the stars like she's actually the perfect kind of talent for that um But yeah, Halloween costumes.

20:21There were so many good ones. It's just Heidi Klum is so funny how she loves dressing up as the ugliest thing ever. It's so interesting. I think it's because it's like the one time of the year where she doesn't have to be hot. She's like the opposite of Mean Girls. Like it's the one time of year. Yeah. I got my armpits. Lasered? Botoxed. Oh, stop. How do you feel? There's a place, Babe Aesthetics, in West Hampton, DMs me. And they were like, do you want Botox? Because Paige just got Botox. And I was like, okay, I don't need to do everything, Paige. But I was like, sometimes I'm my own person. And I was like, yeah, I do have a sweating problem.

21:02We're fraternal twins. We are. I was like, I felt it through her. Yeah. But it doesn't go into effect for two weeks. But it's, yeah, like I'm sweating right now. Okay. There's a lot of messages of girls being like, let me know what happened. So I will keep you guys posted. But it's the most adorable, nice spot that I could roll into. Since we're doing the aesthetics portion of the pod, I do want to give the Gigglers an update that I did go to the orthodontist inquiring about braces on the inside of my teeth. And she was literally like, get out of my office. People messaged me being like, don't do it.

21:36She was like, you would hate it. I'm never doing that to you. You also don't need it. so she was like just go to your dentist like he'll figure something out for you i think you just have to restart invisalign well i went back to my dentist who's like been my friend for a while if you need a dentist in new york city eric chasen he's amazing i've been going to him for like 10 years he was like i'm just gonna get he was like tell me what you hate and i was like it's literally one tooth and he was like okay i'm just gonna give you like a no prep veneer right there and shut up or he could just pull it yeah he's like or you could just put a bag he goes we're gonna he's so sick of my shit if you want to meet someone authentically sick of my shit it's my dentist he's like just do the invisalign like i don't get it okay i'm gonna tie a rope around that we're gonna tie it to the door we're gonna count three two one and i'm gonna give you a dollar he's like enough you know that like a doctor's fed up with your shit when you're like should i make a follow up appointment while you're in the office and he's like no call like usually they're like make an appointment now because we don't want to have to chase you he's like now we'll call you when it's when we're ready that's like when i went to the dermatologist to be like should i get like some kind of laser or something and she was like yeah you should get like maybe like a pr7 whatever and yeah they have like all these word names and i was like okay great let's do it and she was like oh you have to make an appointment you know in the next six weeks and i go babe you're never gonna see me again do you know how hard it was to get me here actually i did that laser well that i said told the gigglers i was doing like over the summer ipl ipl was that it no i don't know did you have to be out of commission for a while fuck what was the name of it i always ask my friend alexa laser genesis how was it okay so i did laser genesis over the summer and because it kept getting like pushed to me every time i'd go to the dermatologist and i had a couple of brides like in my dms like should i do it before my wedding i don't think it was worth it whatsoever how do you know i mean because they did like before and after pictures it's supposed to be like for fine lines acne brightening your skin like not for the amount of money it costs i'm obsessed i think it did it i love the tiktoks of people being like what you shouldn't waste your money on i'm like tell me uninfluence me please that's like that's so you i love it i'm Like, call this motherfuckers out.

24:01Call them out. Side note, you were saying, I think you were saying, New York City, I'm performing this weekend. Yes. This upcoming weekend, Carnegie Hall. I'd like to attend to the green room. I didn't, I like got nervous to ask you. I was like, does she, like, what does she want to do? Like. It's so funny because I got nervous to ask you because I was like, I don't want her to think that, like, I want to come and, like, sit and, like, annoy her. like she doesn't really like people come like you don't let des come to certain ones because you don't want to get nervous so i didn't want to be like hey i want to come and you'd be like and that would actually like make me nervous no literally not at all in the green room i literally pretend like i don't have a show and then they'll be like hey you're on in 10 minutes and i'm like oh fuck i'm also going early to get my makeup done like we did at radio city so i'll be there like i'm chilling and i had i had lunch with my nana and papa it was so they're so freaking cute i love them so much any good words of wisdom well nana i have like daphne all over my microphone nana is so gorgeous and she's sitting there and she goes oh i need something to look forward to and i said nana we have carnegie hall next week and she goes oh i hope i can make it that long no she's the most dramatic like every time i talk to her i feel like she's just stepped off stage of her one woman performance of her life she's always like a little flustered from being so gorgeous like she just did a meet and greet that's what she always another life she's luann's mother and she's the original show girl like is that girl and she said something i think it's it's it's my little cousin's birthday and everyone's going to europe and she goes what if i get sick right when everyone goes to europe wouldn't that be she goes wouldn't that be horrible i said now that i've been in therapy because someone in the family needs to go to therapy i said nana do you know what that's called she goes she can't hear anything she goes what and i go okay turn on your fucking ear thing listen to me right now it's called catastrophizing you're sitting here thinking of the worst possible thing that can happen instead of just being like oh it's gonna be a fun birthday it's in our blood i said to her nana you're catastrophizing and she goes i would have nothing else to do this is what i do and i'm like you are so fucking funny she goes what do you do if you're not catastrophizing you're certainly not you're certainly not planning ahead i'll tell you that you're certainly not playing no like older italian women love to talk up talk about when they're gonna die they love it it's like about death she's like well you never know i might be dead for that it's like they always slip it in in like the most yeah she's like dinner when no one's gonna care if i'm dead for that or if something like down the line well i'll be dead by then so it's always i hope you have a good time it's like what but you know what's funny with the anxious italian moms and a lot of moms i feel like yeah actually des would joke about this about his mom how she's anxious about everything so then when something really bad happened everyone would be like your mom's so calm and he's like no this is just she's been prepared for this all day all year so much she manifested it she knows exactly what to do she catastrophized this in her own head she's prepared for this on so many levels she's so prepared um wait sorry we keep going back to halloween but last thing i want to say about halloween did you see lily allen dressed up as madeline because she named that one song like after the girl see i didn't i cheated with i didn't connect i didn't connect it i didn't connect it you would love to dress up as madeline i feel like madeline is such a good halloween costume i do have to say one thing lily allen there's like tons of shit going on online about her but i kind of love that like at 40 years old she just was like i feel like being an it girl this month and like not to be like 40s old it's more like just cool that at any age you're just like i'm gonna pop off right now yeah it's like actually i'm gonna change my life for a quick second the clips of him going around are so bad but like we've all been there like i've had boyfriends like him and i'm like he hates me and it makes me like him more like i can tell that he hates me yeah and they either hate you because they're jealous or because they're so insecure about their own shit but when you're in it you can't tell that they're jealous you can't tell that they're insecure you're just like i'm not good enough for him and um it really is dark but he's yeah i've there's a million of them around and i saw a thing that said that millie bobby brown had like gone to hr like before the last season of stranger things because of him like that he was just like the worst oh well you hate to see it you hate to see it and people get famous all the time and you don't know that they're shitty people um did you see have you watched any of the new kardashian season like i feel like i i don't know why it feels like og kardashian really okay so i'm yeah i'm gonna freeze because i love them but i never watched any of it so i'm like is it like game of thrones like can i just start season 48 i mean yeah you can but it was just like peak at its peak i was in a room with kim kardashian for like two hours oh yeah wait okay this is actually what i wanted to bring up so you went to like the little um she had like an intimate dinner for all's fair like premiere in new york yes on the episode the most recent episode they're at all is fair like filming oh wow and it's all about kim kardashian and Sarah Paulson like having the giggles at all times like they could not get through this one scene and Glenn Close was like pull it together but when they look at each other they start laughing and it was so giving me and you Sarah Paulson was there too who's because it was like yeah it was like this it was like watching them they had like their own secret language of like what they felt was funny and i feel like that is very much like if you and i are in a group of people no one else laughs not only does no one else laugh but like in my head no one else exists because i'm like i'm not gonna waste my time talking to you because you're not even gonna get what i'm saying the way like we don't even it's not their fault because we don't even finish the sentence and you know what i'm saying wait i have to watch that episode that sounds so i want to see like the behind the scenes of that no it's so funny watching them like giggle at everything like sarah paulson dressed up as kim one day and just kept like going up to chris like hi mom sarah paulson is with like an older woman do you know this like yes female zaddy um oh my god she what is her she was the mom actually on two and a half men she's been like a lot of things yeah she's really she's i can't think of her name but yeah they have like a pretty big age gap so sarah paulson and i are like the same um but sarah paulson was there i do have to let you guys know at these you know paige and i don't we get nervous around a dinner party we can't do intimate gatherings and it's just so interesting some people um like i'm outgoing right like i'm having fun but some people next thing you know they're like sitting on kim kardashian's lap just like laughing you know like you're like how did how did that happen we're like the second maybe i respect people too much but i'm like when sarah paulson walked by the table i wasn't like oh how are you like i was like hi sir like i respect you like thank you like don't let me interrupt you're not your night you know you know what i feel like it is and i actually have this like question for you as we're as you're like in your 20s and you get out of college and you're like trying to get a job you always hear the word like you have to network and network and blah blah and you have to go to this this and this and i used to be like so against it because i was like i i'm sorry i can't network because that's just not who i am i couldn't even sell like girl scout cookies when i was a girl scout because i was like i'm not pushing these on these people that don't even want it trafficking like watching people like social climb yeah is like my worst nightmare because the anxiety that that would give me to like have to talk to someone like makes me anxious and also like even as a like i'll tell people who i want to be friends with i'm like please bother me because i'm not going to bother you because i god forbid annoy you like that would ruin my day so like when it comes to like these like really like famous people like i prefer to to like one day be cast in a project with them and that's how we meet yes and and it's like it's not i'm not gonna say something that's gonna make sarah paulson be like who's that girl she's cool I'm not like going up to you and being like can I lick your face and take a picture with you like yeah I'm never doing that you have things to do I'm never but will I look at Kim Kardashian the back of her neck the entire dinner and be like oh my god that's Kim Kardashian look at her but I also feel like and I still feel like I see clips on TikToks of like female female entrepreneurs or even like influencers or whatever and it's like you have to network network network I just like don't really think you do i think that in certain situations like i'm sure in certain industries yes but i am not like if someone wants to work with you they're going to be able to find you and contact you then like how you act after that is definitely on you and keeping a good professional relationship but i don't think like going to every cocktail party is gonna like make you succeed you could be seen as really fucking annoying yeah actually you just pop up everywhere I don't think so a thin fucking line I do think with the internet though the fact that you can just like develop your own brand then like it's so much easier for people to see you and like reach out but um yeah I feel like me and you rarely make the first move in terms of like connecting and oh yeah network because also it doesn't matter if the person does not fuck with you they don't fuck with you it doesn't matter like how often you're around holding a glass of wine with them i will say i'm turning 33 tomorrow but that didn't even have anything wait it's tomorrow do you remember how google said your birthday was november 6th and like for five years i thought your birthday was november 6th i kind of like that the internet has my birthday wrong because it's like yeah not everything you read on the internet is true can i say something about the New York City Marathon?

35:05Ugh, yeah, because then I'm sure I'll piggyback off of it. So, I have something to say about the New York City Marathon. Wait, I missed it this year. I've never been fucking happier. I'm like, yeah, I'm out of fucking town. Get a grip, you guys. The craziest thing about the New York City Marathon is, what other sport do they have full professionals and then, like, Joe Schmo competing in the same thing? Like, it's actually crazy they also don't even cheer for the professionals no no like my friends like i'm um my friend is running in it and i'm like bitch the race is over the person won already like how are you all racing in the same race professionals do it in like 20 minutes yeah it's literally like the us open if they let like your mom who plays doubles once every two weeks like join like that's what it feels like it's kind of i don't know any other sport no i actually think um in terms of marathons it's hard to qualify for the not hard harder to qualify for the new york city marathon than it is for other ones oh like not everyone can join i don't think so have you i don't think you can just walk up and be like i want to run the new york city can you i have never even looked into the first step of joining a marathon and like also i it did seem like fulfilling in a way where like you're with community and like people are rooting for you the thing with new york city is there's just like so much obstruction of the roadways and it's like the main reason we're here is to get around town no no no so the fact that the streets are always shut down for things i hate it whoever logistically runs the new york city marathon should run for president because they how why aren't we doing this are you kidding actually i think the route looks so dumb i saw an outline of it i go well who the fuck would want to do that i would get dizzy i was like what a stupid route To have a marathon in a major city is like next level crazy.

37:06Like, why don't you do it on a farm? Just let them run. So proud of the people that did it. I'm sure. So proud. I don't know if I'll ever do something in the sports arena where I have to train. But so more power to you guys. So happy I was out of town for it. Thankful. Thankful doesn't even do it justice. Actually, my mom even texted me. what'd she say and goes oh i'm so happy you'll be out of town for the marathon that is so italian mom before i was stressing that you were gonna get stuck and that you know we're gonna get home in time oh thank goodness you're gone no i didn't sleep last night because i knew the marathon was starting if you order uber eats it'll take 45 minutes so after our uber conversation where she was like where I was like, you can't drink the drinks.

37:59She literally called me immediately and she goes, and tell Hannah they do inject it from the sides of the water bottle. She was like, they do inject it from the sides and they do put poison in it. So please make sure you tell Hannah to not drink. I'm surprised she didn't text me. She was like, hey, I know you do little jokes on Giggly Squad, but this is a serious thing going on.

38:25also i went to the dmv this week and how was that well i want an in-depth story in burner phone if you guys want to hear the details where i tried to explain the story with my husband which could like going to the dmv with your husband and then telling the story of it like is how you can get divorced so it was like really risky of us to do that but he was like many couples have gone to the dmv and then talk about it in couples therapy that same way exactly like if you feel like just like testing or like you guys haven't fought in a while just be like let's go to the dmv but i fortunately des was like busy with something i love a man that's busy he was like busy i jump in the car and he was like on the phone and we're going to the dmv um because obviously i can't drive and he was like oh do you have everything you need what a great question what a funny question to ask hannah i go what are we even talking about right now like in what way like what planet are we on first you were like well what a genre of what things like i don't know what is this jeopardy but also like emotionally or physically because emotionally i don't so in the dmv website like if it's not obvious to me it's not happening and then i'll turn it on them because I'm like, well, that made no sense.

39:44But my problem was I had to do multiple things. I had to change my address. I had to renew it and I had to get a real ID. So I got my, I had my passport, I had my wallet and there was like a random piece of mail for me. And I'm like, this better work. And I show up and the lady immediately was like, you need six points of identification i go what does that mean six points what does six points mean six different it's well apparently things are worth different points and i'm like i don't i know you guys have your own little fun language but like this is she was like sorry this is america you're not on level six you fucking loser so she goes you need um something that proves your address i go yeah i have this like serious xm bill and she was like this isn't a bill this is just some serious xm sent you something like like a you need like a con ed bill or like a insurance bill or yeah yeah and i was like okay well i don't have that and she's like it's okay you can still renew it and get the real id do you have your social security card on you and i was like i didn't know you know there was a card and des looks at me and does it you're like now you're making things up man

41:03a physical card I go what did I get that to you I have a podcast where millions of people I could say how you're she's like ma 'am this is protocol ma 'am you're under arrest but Des is so sweet he looks at me he goes I knew there'd be something he said that in the car he goes when you get there there's gonna be something you don't have don't get upset this is part of life okay I don't know what it is but you're gonna not have something and I said thank you for supported me does this like a dad from like the 1970s that's just like so blunt he's like hey you're not very bright and you're not very smart so it's probably not gonna work out in there for you just know people love you at home that's literally the speech he gave to me before i went into the dmv he goes keep her head up because it's not gonna go well but i love you for you not your dmv skills we can't even believe you passed the test think of the bright side it's a miracle we got this far i didn't believe in you no one no he's literally like an 80s dad he's like i don't give a fuck worry about it in therapy you're stupid he goes back then we didn't have therapy we just figured it out we just pushed through pushed it down we pushed it down so okay so the lady goes you have to have a social security card and i look at him scared he looks at me like i told you this would happen and he goes look we practice for this he goes we're gonna have to get it mailed to you it's and i was like no and he was like just breathe it's okay and she's like but i do think you could get it um renewed you can't do any of the other things and i said okay one for three like that's okay so we get up to the place and i'm looking in my wallet and i pull out a random card next to my vaccination card i have two cards and i go what's this and he goes that's your fucking social security number he goes babe you did it you did it and then the lady's just as shocked as anyone he's like you think that i just like won the lottery cancer yeah and then he goes the lady goes you can get a bill on your phone and i was like oh my god so i like find some bill and he goes you did it you i i did everything that i need accidentally i accidentally got my license at the dmv like how is that possible he goes how the fuck do you why are you walking around there's your social security guard for the last 10 years on you like that is so not what you're supposed to do you know what i'm taking your ibs ass out for ice cream get in the car i'm so fucking proud of you page we literally got ice cream afterwards shout out snowflake riverhead best ice cream i knew it i knew he was gonna be that because that's what an 80s dad does he goes that was good work we're going to get a mcflurry get in the car that reminds me my dad used to be like if if you win this tennis match we're gonna um get milkshakes i'm like dad you want a milkshake you want a milkshake dude just go get one just get a milkshake so anyway oh my god at the very end though she she gave us the receipt and the address was wrong like she didn't put the like there's like extra stuff at the end and i was like ma 'am like it's actually wrong and des is like how did you see that like he was like obsessed with me that day oh my god he was literally i was like even a blind squirrel not after the ice cream he goes once the ice cream stomach ache wears off you're mine you're mine so um then she edited that but anyway um i don't recommend the dmv but they do good work you've had to go an odd amount of times this in the past six months yeah it's kind of crazy did you see the whole article where it was like it's having a boyfriend embarrassing yeah which like yeah being associated with a man in any capacity at any moment in time is embarrassing but then i saw this other girl make a tiktok and it was just like she was like i'm just so tired i didn't even know what it was about i was just like like repost repost she was just like how many times can we like blame women for like everything but she was really talking more about did you see the trend on tiktok where it was like um it's like girls showing things that like their husbands do and it's like yeah because i didn't marry a loser oh i don't like that it's very like she's like implying that the trend is like it's on the girl to figure out in this plethora of men that are all losers you have to pick out the one that's like not a loser and if he is a loser it's not on him it's on you also if you're posting to try to show that your man's not a loser i don't want to say it but he's a loser all men are inherently loserish you know so let's just like say that first and foremost but she was then she was like relating it back to like our boyfriends embarrassing and she was just like no matter what women are just like always blamed and she was like so now you're blamed if you have a boyfriend like that's embarrassing but the girls that have boyfriends like they're already embarrassing if he's a loser that's bad for you like that's on you and it really is like and i feel like i can speak to it like having different relationships in the public eye like anytime one of my boyfriends in the public eye or like whatever would do something it was always me that was like well she's stupid for being with him like type of thing it was never like well that was bad behavior on his part yeah which it is just like so true like obviously i agree with the boge article boyfriends are embarrassing but all men or embarrassing it reminds me of the tiktok with la roach did you see that from victoria's secret where he like the world yeah he was like we're from the same place and she's like the bronx and he goes the world so that was he was actually telling her like we're both lgbtq plus oh but she didn't want to acknowledge that in that moment like she was like i want some privacy so that's why she goes the Bronx and then he didn't want to embarrass her so he said the world but I said that's wait that went right over my head I had to watch like they were like there's layers to this but then that's me when I'm like talking shit to a girl about men and then she's like are you married and I'm like whoa whoa whoa the Bronx we were talking about you and your loser boyfriend not my situation but not my situation I do think like there is something to be said about not making your boyfriend your husband your personality your personality the center of your life it is i think it's less embarrassed that's the embarrassing part is when like your happiness rides on him and your identity rides on that and that's why i think sometimes it's hard like public eye relationships it's like you become a yeah they merge your names and shit like it's you don't merge my name don't merge any name don't merge the names i'm speaking you know what's crazy is like we're both girls

48:28so stupid we're both i don't even know why i started it out like that you're married but like i feel like that's why can't i form a coherent thought you're married and you didn't change your name did you ever think you were going to change your name because i did and now as i get older i'm like in no i'm not changing my fucking name i've known in my core since i came out of the womb i also like there are some people though like your last name's annoying like that's not your fault like it's like krasinski or something and like no one could spell it okay not to come sorry not to come for the whole polish community names are really difficult and it's not their fault but like sometimes like you marry a guy whose last name is like baker and you're like okay let's do that um but i always like loved my last name i identified by my last name i'm proud of my last name my mom added a hyphen which did my mom by the way maybe it was that was like them dipping their toes yes they were like hey we can't be full feminist yeah it's like society will murder us i'm not an angry feminist yeah she's like they're like let us dip it in but apparently that's a fucking nightmare at the dmv no that's why i really brought it up because i was like you have a gripe with the dmv like you girls will get married and then not be able to go on their honeymoon because their passport doesn't match their like their new name and or like they didn't put the hyphen in the right place that just seems like so much admin that i'm not ever going to be prepared to like start and growing up in parksville brooklyn it was pretty like open and free and one of my mom's friends merged her name with her husband's name to create a new last name like a like a celebrity name it was quite creative that's a bit that's a bit outside my my range it is kind of annoying that like my brother's kids are burners but like my kids are not gonna be burners and i'm like but i'm i am i am a burner i started this family you'd all be nothing without me no one of my favorite bits ever is from chelsea handler's stand up where like she talks about her brother like having kids and his legacy and like it's such a good such a good bit can i do a quick shout out to lois lois my niece lois won student of the month this month they took a photo they talked about this like lois is all this stuff i facetimed her this bitch was wearing sunglasses wouldn't make eye contact with me anymore when student of the month one month suddenly she's too cool for aunt hanny she's different but i it's also like when it happened i was like oh that's so sweet but then i called her and i was like lois even if you never went student month again i still love you and that's like my own trauma i'm projecting onto her i'm like i was just gonna say tell me for tell me that when you heard that you weren't like i could have won student of the month more when i the first time i went well first of all the first time i went student of the month i didn't the first month which i was livid like wait i can picture this clear as day it's like september 3rd it's september 3rd and you're like hold on it was like that scene in a movie they're like the first ever student of the month is and i go to stand up they're like jacob and i'm like what what you're like jacob jacob sticks pencil erasers up his nose he's the student of the month jacob can't be for a full sentence and when he didn't do his homework on the fourth so that's fucking insane so then the second month i won it and i said okay thank you and the teacher literally knew i was mad and she goes you wanted the month of october yeah hannah i won student of the month the month of october in third grade and it was too overwhelming i had to take a leave of absence from school and get my appendix out i said you know what i said you know what hold the phone i'd prefer a spring month i'm gonna take a bit of rest I don't know I feel like you got you won it and then you're like this is the perfect time to get even more attention and have a life-threatening illness make my rain stand out from all the other rain you're like I'm gonna need this press cycle to last a little longer like I was like ah a medical you come back and everyone I came back someone had to like open the door for me I said yes please get my door but i swear to god the teacher after i won the teacher looked at me and i looked at her and i said thanks and she goes i remember she goes i couldn't give you it the first month it would have been too obvious and i said don't play games with me you like it again we're always making excuses for the man yet again the man wins um but i do think that that high i got from winning that it wasn't good it wasn't good for my me it definitely did start your level of competitiveness yeah and then I had to have an ego death and you like expecting to get it like the first month and being like devastated though is so you like where you're like sorry what when I went to class I was locked in like I was eyeing with the teacher I was like what are we doing me and you doing today okay like fuck all these other kids like i'm here with you do you want to know why wait this is so funny to think about do you want to know why you were like that because she's up there performing and you're like hold on no one's gonna be performing in front of a crowd and not having me involved susan from the top what's the math again they didn't hear it like you're emceeing her like you're opening for her she'd make a joke and you're like that's a joke about fractions you idiots wouldn't get it wait i might have told this story before but i have to tell it's one of our like family stories that i'll never live down i in shelter island a person came with like all these animals like it was like an animal show like a petting yeah like a petting but like with reptiles but i just remember you know as a kid like when you love something you're like no one here loves this more than me yeah you said like this yeah not the direction i was going okay like imagine like you're sitting there and someone's like we're having it um an outfit runway yeah and you're like well this is for me like this is my time to shine so like i love animals so they're like do you want to go to the animal show and i go do i want to go to that yeah this has been in my calendar for three months we're going to the animal show so apparently i got there and they like ask questions to the kids it's like very interactive but my annoying ass was raising my hand everyone else is shy right me raising my hand trying to answer every question and my dad jokes that the guy was like clearly like this isn't we can't have you answer every question like leave some room for other kids and then at one point i like was running out of stuff to say but i still wanted to be called on and he called on me and i like forgot what i was going to say and you could tell i was nervous and i just go i like animals honestly hannah i know exactly the kind of kid you were and i was the kid like in the corner looking at you being like are you fucking kidding if you keep talking we can't even pet the animals because you've been yapping the whole time to this day my dad will be like i like animals and then he said the guy even he jokes with the guy was like can anyone are they gonna say maybe in spanish and i was like because the animal is you did not you did not you know so anyway we've learned and we've grown anyway follow your dreams be yourself be yourself at the end of the day be yourself and that's why we have a podcast because we can yap all day no one's gonna yell at us we love you guys so much have a great rest of your week great scorpio season don't forget to say happy birthday to page she's 24 yes bye