Giggling about lust, lady’s maids, and love island

0:00Paige DeSorbo: You're a pro at running your life, at committing to your workout, at showing up every day. At Bombas, we're pros too. Pros at making socks. Our Sport Astortment has specialized socks for whatever sport you're committed to. Running, hiking, golf, Pilates, and so much more. Made with sweat-wicking yarns, blister-fighting details, and targeted art support. Bombas Sport is pro-level socks from the pros of socks. For another pro, you. Go to bombas.com slash audio and use code audio for 20 % off your first purchase. That's Bombas.com and use code audio.

0:32Hannah Berner: Okay, we're going to ELI5 Venmo. Nothing gets me going like an ELI5. All right, Hannah, ELI5. Explain it to me like I'm five spending your Venmo balance.

0:43Paige DeSorbo: So if someone Venmos you and you have the Venmo Debit MasterCard, you get instant access to your Venmo balance. In other words, you can spend that money immediately. And with the Venmo Debit Card, there's no monthly fee or minimum balance required. Oh, and you can also check out online or an app with Venmo. Same thing. Instant balance access. Now, Paige, ELI 5 Venmo Stash.

1:04Hannah Berner: You join Venmo Stash Rewards and earn up to 5 % cash back. Anything more? You asked me to ELI 5 you. The more you use Venmo, the more you earn, and that's pretty much it.

1:15Paige DeSorbo: Okay, we love. And while we're at it, do you want to ELL 5 why you still haven't paid me back for the smoothies from this week? My Venmo balance would like to know.

1:23Hannah Berner: Get the Venmo debit card or check out with Venmo. The Venmo MasterCard is issued by the Bank Corp Bank N.A. Venmo stash bundle terms and exclusions apply. Max$100 per month. See terms at Venmo.me slash stash terms. Venmo checkout not available at all merchants.

1:41Hannah Berner: Sup gigglers. Harriet, fix the Wi-Fi. Manifest that shit. We can't be managed. The day is fine. I mean the day just got away from me.

1:55Paige DeSorbo: What's up my gaggle a giggle gigglers my gaggle a gigglers. I'm out of breath. You're out of breath because you were gossiping with someone in your. Wait that's called a drive-by gossip when you like you're like I don't have time but I have to tell you something quick. I literally said I don't have time for this.

2:14Hannah Berner: So I'm going to make this 10 hour story into 30 seconds so you can ruminate on it and then I'll be back.

2:21Paige DeSorbo: And then give me follow up questions. But we're having like a wholesome episode because we are. We spent time with our parents last weekend.

2:30Hannah Berner: What did you do? I went out to dinner last night with my mother, my father and my brother.

2:37Paige DeSorbo: The OGs. I love when it gets back to the OGs. You're like, we started this family.

2:44Hannah Berner: that's so funny because my dad said that at dinner he goes when is it ever just the four of us parents love saying that they love doing that they love being nostalgic for a simpler time was an italian restaurant it was an italian restaurant there was a blessed mary there uh so everyone was safe it is so funny as not that my brother has children either but like my parents are in a spot where like they're ready for grandchildren they're kind of like you know like cool whatever you want to do but also like we're bored like i am ready to be a hot grandma like now and like they do kind of talk about kitty as if she is my child sometimes i feel like i'm like playing pretend i'm like this is my daughter and my mom's like tell me what she did i'm like mom this is sick this is an animal like this is not a human child

3:40Paige DeSorbo: Well, I messaged Des. I said, Butter says, Happy Father's Day. And he was like, OK.

3:47Hannah Berner: Well, because like your brother has real human children.

3:51Paige DeSorbo: Oh, shit. I didn't tell him. My brother's not a dad. Like I know he has he has two and a half children, but like he's not he's my little brother. He's not getting a happy Father's Day. That's insane.

4:02Hannah Berner: It is funny to think of like your siblings, even like your close friends. Like whenever I see like a TikTok or a meme or something that's like, wait, my friend is a teacher. And that's just like hilarious to me. Like it is weird to think of the people closest to you. My little brother's a father. Like, okay, you're child rearing? Sure. Sure you are, dude.

4:25Paige DeSorbo: I love looking at his daughter being like, your dad is my little brother. I beat him up. I beat him up. um speaking of family i had a realization this weekend i was in shelter with my family and this is like i don't know how i didn't understand this but it hit me we are the 5k family what page page when i tell you i said it was friday my mom's like come over like we have a fun weekend like i spent time together it's been forever i was like i would love to spend quality time with my parents yeah sweet and she goes you know what's crazy i'm singing the national anthem for the 5k on shelter island this weekend can you come support me and i said of course national anthem hitting that note are you kidding yeah you're an icon she goes and maybe maybe if we feel like it we can walk it maybe if we and i'm just like okay trickster she is such a trickster i was bamboozled yeah i was led astray i get there and this bit she's stretching a little i'm like that's funny why she's stretching and she's like do you want a water i'm like why would i need a water wait was your dad there my dad was there but his foot hurts so he's just standing there he's fucking good he's so good he's giggling looking at me and then she's like let's look at all these little kids let's walk it let's walk it it's

5:51Hannah Berner: let's walk it what is how long is a 5k like how it's around three miles which again what's three

5:58Paige DeSorbo: miles well it's not short it's definitely not short and why are we still doing 5k like we're in america let's do miles why are we suddenly european when it comes to races but i digress wait why are we suddenly european i have no idea it's like then let's start calling soccer football

6:16Hannah Berner: right like let's change all of our measurements like let's have any consistency but you know what

6:21Paige DeSorbo: it is it's to trick people to run these races they're like it's it's just a 5k it's just 5k so she looks at me and she's like let's just let's start with a jog and then if you're tired we can walk now mind you yes i've been playing some tennis yes no yeah that's all i've been doing

6:41Hannah Berner: i was about to list like all the workouts physical activity look i'm i played some tennis

6:46Paige DeSorbo: and that is fast twitch muscles do you know what fast twitch muscles are i don't i'm a fast twitch muscle girly that means in a sprint she's ready for step fast slow twitch muscles are people that can like they run slower but they run for long periods of time i'm all power i can like run away from a lion but like if they're like run with the lion for a long time i'd be like the lion could eat me and what if your knees are i'm sitting here weighing my options and i'm like um you're like

7:20Hannah Berner: do i have a twitch i would rather not be labeled in this situation wait me saying i have fast twitch muscles is so annoying i'm oh you don't have fast twitch muscles that's embarrassing for you i also feel like you made that up like no i turned to my mom i said i fast switch muscles i

7:39Paige DeSorbo: can't run a 5k my muscles don't work that way they're fast switch as my doctor i feel like if

7:45Hannah Berner: someone asks me to work out i respond as if i am like your broke boyfriend that you like haven't broken up with yet i'm like the way my body is actually like set up is i can't access my legs

8:00Paige DeSorbo: right now but this is let me just explain my mom the bitch is fit yeah she is i apologize for calling my mom a bitch on this podcast but she knows it's in an endearing way but she deserved it this weekend because she was laughing she thought so she and she looked at me and she's good at running like she's she's light on her feet she has slow twitch muscles she's like so we start jogging and I'm like okay like this is this is bad and I only have to do this for like an hour longer and there's like little kids passing me there's like old people passing me like there's all types of people passing me and they're running and they're running but you know what I'm healed like I'm my healed era where like back in the day if someone passed me I'd be like I can't let that 12 year old pass me I'm gonna beat them but now I say you know what that's not my journey today but she's there and she's like come on let's speed it up so we run one mile and i'm dying

8:57Hannah Berner: i mean come on what is this eighth grade like no and also i'm like this was supposed to be a

9:02Paige DeSorbo: beautiful weekend of bonding we're by the way no music just silent me and her running silent and i in my head i go what would page do right now and i go page wouldn't even put herself in this situation so this is why i stay alert i would have seen that line of questioning from

9:19Hannah Berner: lenore and knew i was getting into a bad situation because in my head i was like she wouldn't ask

9:24Paige DeSorbo: this of me right you're like this is my mom this is but she knows that i love her and in that moment she's like so excited to jog yeah and my fucking dad's standing to the sidelines cheering i was

9:35Hannah Berner: just gonna say that's my favorite part of this whole story is that your dad's like oh yeah my foot hurts like okay sure it does that is literally me and you at any event when we get asked to do

9:47Paige DeSorbo: something and you always are the first one to get out of it and then i'm stuck holding the family together i'm like sorry i just got a uti and just it so i'm i tell her it's like embarrassing but i'm like and i was fit back in my day like my mom and i used to jog together and i said mom i'm a comedian now i can't do this so we stop we're walking and she's like okay you ready to run again and I'm like okay so we're on and off running the whole time and she's rolling her eyes at me she's like you're ruining my time and I'm like I didn't know we're doing a timed mile that's like the number one rule that I told the gigglers I would never do and then she was like okay well don't make fun of me on Giggly Squad and I said well don't do things that would cause me to tell on you on Giggly Squad.

10:36Hannah Berner: I feel like a lot of people say that to us and I'm like okay but I'm an entertainer and what you've just given me is entertaining and in my brain I'm gonna tell the story in a magnificent way you're gonna love it yep but this is my this is my experience and look

10:55Paige DeSorbo: do we protect identities from people who of course of course of course of course however However, mom, I'm throwing your name all over the place because this was disrespectful. And then, well, at the very end, I sprinted and I won. Well, who were you against? My mom. No, but I beat my mom after telling her I needed to walk the whole time. And she was like, why did you sprint? And I was like, because everyone was watching and I couldn't look like a loser.

11:29Hannah Berner: you're like I'm not going through the finish line with people thinking I walked it like that's insane okay it's so funny that we're like on walking tiktok right now but like

11:41Hannah Berner: I went on a walk with my parents this weekend like a couple of times and I think one of like my biggest revelations is that my dad is he beats to his own drum like he He doesn't care. He's like the number one person that like doesn't care what other people are doing. He's like focused on his own, what he's doing, what his family's doing. Like he doesn't know he doesn't care. So like he's never walking into a situation and feeling like embarrassed by anything because he's like, I don't know you and I don't care about you. And I learned that over the weekend when he went walking in jeans. That is so dad.

12:24Hannah Berner: It's so dad because I'm like in my head, I'm like, well, what would he put on other than jeans? And then I'm thinking like, I've never seen my dad. A couple of things. I've never seen my dad get in bed and I've never seen my dad get out of bed. He's just perpetually awake. You've never seen him not in jeans. I've never seen him not in jeans. I've seen him in like a suit pant and a summer linen pant. yeah but like in the winter i'm thinking like oh wait this man only knows jeans yeah and he's so comfortable in them he's so comfortable in them they're perfectly broken in he should be in a levy's commercial did i pronounce it right levi's sorry i panicked wait that's so cute does your dad

13:15Paige DeSorbo: also like when he's hanging around the house sometimes if he is wearing shorts like he pulls it up like too high that's just my dad no i've never seen him in shorts wait what no the only

13:27Hannah Berner: type of shorts i've seen him in are like khaki shorts yeah he might have like a white pair of

13:32Paige DeSorbo: linen shorts i kind of want to send him like a full lululemon tracksuit like windbreaker matching him or like in a velvet tracksuit like so italian don't get my brother started he he has zero

13:46Hannah Berner: athleisure that's what it is he has zero athleisure so he doesn't work out what does he do to work out he walks and drinks coffee his metabolism is fast but he is you that's what you do okay well that was the other thing over the weekend um the segment what pissed me off this week is just talking about that segment as a whole that's just like taken from my real personality in my real life like of talking to my mom because like if i'm talking to my mom i'm telling her multiple things that have pissed me off in the past couple of days and this weekend I was popping off about something like in the comfort of my own home with my parents and I'm like and that couldn't and like there was a lot of like and then she did this and so it was a lot of hands it was a lot of facial expressions I swore a lot FOMO but not at anyone just like no telling a story and my family was like it's just really crazy how like you are your dad and you have the exact same personality and my brother was like i thought dad was like really psycho but you you're so angry like what are you so and my dad goes yeah page i didn't get angry till like my 40s wait i love how he's self-aware you know what's making me fucking angry guys that you think i'm angry i'm obsessed that your dad literally goes

15:09Paige DeSorbo: one day i woke up 40 and i said i'm fucking over this shit i'm done with you i'm done with you i'm done but the first 40 years gary was just like smiley happy whimsical and like he's

15:22Hannah Berner: misunderstood honestly now that they're saying that i'm like him he's misunderstood but i feel like he's not scary i feel like he's not scary at all no he's not scary it's like kim could be scary like Lenore can be scary that's scary more like you're being stupid and that's pissing me off

15:40Paige DeSorbo: yeah like do it right he's always a little mad it it doesn't come across as mad because that's

15:46Hannah Berner: his baseline you know and that's his baseline which is actually how I feel about you yeah like if you're a little too happy I'm like did we take did we slip a pill like last time when you

16:00Paige DeSorbo: were getting your eggs frozen i didn't like that at all yeah like or like the time that i said i

16:03Hannah Berner: was excited to see you in la and you were like your page's phone got hagged this is a scam email

16:10Paige DeSorbo: she's trying to scam text me to click a link okay this is my family after the 5k we go get dinner whatever get home barely enough time to watch tv and you know i like to like have decompressed tv time decompressed thank you wake up in the morning 9 a.m we have to go play nine holes of golf no she's she's running a training camp the 5k family that i try to protect people from and i realize it's in my own home and sometimes it's right under your own nose and sometimes it's your own family from inside the house and then i thought back at things and i said oh my god but this thing that's why there was one ex-boyfriend in particular who i dated who was not athletic but he was like successful in other things and my family was like we don't care my dad was like can you throw the football with a good spiral or not and like he and i literally had to like pull him aside and i was like hey like this isn't a joke this isn't a bit like my dad needs to see how high your vertical leap is it's just part of like our culture he didn't make the cut and like that wasn't my fault it wasn't my family's fault it was his fault

17:25Hannah Berner: And sometimes that happens and sometimes that's not where you're meant to be. If you're like me, then you save a bunch of workout things on TikTok and then you never go back to them. And if you do go back to them, you try and do the moves and you're just like, am I even doing this right? That's why you need ladder. It gives you a real plan from an expert coach. So if you're looking to grow your glutes, grow your biceps, you want to find abs, or maybe you just want a plan for when you're going on vacation this summer, something easy you can do. ladder is an expert strength training plan and it's not a content library these aren't influencer workouts or challenges it's real progressive programming designed by certified coaches and they can do any strength training style you prefer so pilates bodybuilding at home hybrid strength glute focused maybe you have kettlebells you want a whole kettlebell workout plan they can do it for you and the app remembers your weights your reps and sets so you can see yourself getting stronger over time and your team has a group chat where your coach answers questions and members motivate each other.

18:27Hannah Berner: So ladder really is providing a structured workout plan and not random exercises and it's like having a personal trainer in your headphones at all times and it's less than one dollar a day so it's extremely accessible and so much better than a hundred dollars per session with a personal trainer. I also always feel like I want a personal trainer but then I realize I I don't really want to have to interact with somebody else. So ladder is just so perfect because I'm getting the perks of having a personal trainer without having to leave my home or actually meet up with someone. Remove the guesswork with ladder and get a real coach in your ear telling you exactly what to do for every workout.

19:03Hannah Berner: No thinking, everything planned for you. If you have an iPhone, head to ladder.fit slash giggly and take a quick quiz to find your perfect ladder plan. Use our link and get a free seven-day trial with no credit card and$10 off your first month if you join. There's nothing I love more than seeing someone come into my home and see that I have Honest flushable wipes in the bathroom because honestly, anything can happen in there and I feel confident knowing Honest can handle it. I always keep them stocked because they make me feel so much cleaner and more comfortable than just regular toilet paper and I love that they're safe for my sensitive areas and safe to flush so I don't have to worry about my pipes either.

19:42Hannah Berner: What really makes Honest flushable wipes different is that they're made with a plant-based cloth, so you're not just putting anything on your body. They're super gentle, durable, and honestly, just make such a difference in your routine. So whether it's for your guest or just everyday use, they're one of those things that once you try them, you just can't go back. You can grab Honest Flushable Wipes at Walmart, Target, and Amazon. Okay, real talk. UTIs have genuinely been a thing for me. The burning, the urgency, running to the bathroom every five minutes, and then having to figure out how to get treated fast.

20:14Hannah Berner: It's a lot, which is exactly why I use WISP. WISP has honestly become my go-to for so much more than just UTIs. They're the complete health platform built for women, their partners, and communities. And it's trusted by over 1.8 million people nationwide. We're talking about care for vaginal health like UTIs, BV, yeast infection, and care across every life stage from your first period through to menopause. Their licensed medical providers truly listen and provide real clinical expertise with zero of the barriers that make traditional healthcare so exhausting. And what I love most is that they actually stay with you.

20:53Hannah Berner: No waiting rooms, no starting from scratch every time, no re-explaining yourselves. WISP builds continuity, they know you, and they grow with you. Here's how easy it is. I go to WISP, explore my treatment options, and pick what I think I need or let a WISP provider decide what's best. answer a few questions about my symptoms, then a WISP licensed provider reviews it, and I can have a prescription sent to my pharmacy in three hours or less, or have treatment shipped directly to me. That's it. Real clinical care without the waiting room. And for those of us who deal with UTIs on the regular, I'm also obsessed with their Urinary Track Duo.

21:30Hannah Berner: It's two over-the-counter products bundled together, including daily capsules with green tea and turmeric for everyday protection, plus a pink lemonade drink mix with cranberry extract, D-manos, and vitamin C. It's so delicious. Whether you're managing something acute or just trying to get ahead of your health going into summer, Wisp has something for wherever you're at. Take 15 % off your first order with code Giggly at HelloWisp.com. That's HelloWisp.com. Prescription products require a consultation with a healthcare provider and medications are available if medically appropriate Must be 18 or older, restrictions apply See website for full details Honestly guys, to me this summer is all about finding my original sound and just owning it With my JBL headphones, I suggest you do the same For me, that's getting lost in a great audiobook Hannah has convinced me to get the Strangers audiobook while also having the actual book Thankfully, my JBL Live headphones bring every detail to life in full color.

22:32Hannah Berner: Whether I'm on a hot girl walk, heading out on a vacation, or just lounging poolside, my JBL Live headphones are the ultimate summer accessory. They are literally perfect for all the audiobooks, podcasts that I'm obsessed with, and I need to hear every single vivid detail of my favorite stories come alive exactly the way they were meant to be heard. The tech is actually amazing too. They have true adaptive noise cancellation, so I get to decide exactly how deeply I want to immerse myself in the plot. And because style is non-negotiable, they come in these bold, unique colors to match every look I'm serving that day.

23:08Hannah Berner: They even have up to 80 hours of battery life, so they can actually keep up with us. This summer, I'm tuning into what I love. You should too. Find your pair at JBL.com.

23:21Hannah Berner: Hi, this is Jonathan Fields, host of The Good Life Project. What if your home could welcome you at the door, energize your kitchen, and calm your bedroom all automatically? With Pura's family of smart diffusers, you can scent every space perfectly. Choose premium, clean fragrances, adjust the intensity, and set schedules right from your phone. It's whole home scenting designed for the way you live. build your purer system today at pure.com slash whole home

23:52Paige DeSorbo: but i do think playing sports it is good for your mental health when you're not like breaking your racket or like getting in a fight with your family or like throwing your club but overall i had a great time but like my mom tricked me into running a 5k you know that i'm

24:07Hannah Berner: like also fragile right now yeah she used to be more like open when she was telling you she was doing something and now she's gone on full trickery now she's doing full witchcraft remember during

24:17Paige DeSorbo: covid how fit you were though because oh my god she made me go on so many walks oh my god she was feeding me like best nutritional food wait remember during remember when you got your appendix out

24:32Hannah Berner: i feel like we moved on from that like so quickly like I know it was like five years ago but like just send some love my way okay speaking of love great segue of course like of course I was like so angry when they put Love Island USA on at the same time that Love Island UK was on because I was like I can't do two Love Islands at the same time that's like I have a family like I can't be watching 50 episodes so I was like let me start Love Island UK and I'll let Love Island USA rack up a couple whatever I start Love Island UK but then I'm on TikTok and everyone's talking about Love Island USA so I'm like okay let me just like give it a go and here I am now watching two Love Islands you have so much on your plate right now thank god i'm going on vacation next week because i have so much tv i'm being the anchors in which i am beholden to my bed right now because i have two love islands also you can't just watch the

25:39Paige DeSorbo: shows you have to get opinions like you have to immerse myself in the culture yeah i actually

25:45Hannah Berner: would like to take back my stance that i was annoyed that they were on at the same time I actually think it has been so interesting to watch Love Island UK around the same ages. Maybe some are a little younger, some a little older. And Love Island USA at the same time. Again, same ages. I wouldn't be gentle. I'm trying to be gentle. I'm trying. I'm finding it. I'm finding it.

26:14Paige DeSorbo: That's what I tell Lois when she goes to pet a cat. I'm like, gentle. Gentle Lois. Gentle.

26:20Hannah Berner: Gen Z, because here's the thing, Love Island USA, this is now the first batch really of they're all Gen Z. Every single one of them is Gen Z. I think the oldest one is 29 and that's like an older Gen Z. But like the girls that are early 20s, they're there. During COVID, these poor kids were in high school. So they're not having a traditional experience. Do they mention that on the show? Uh, no, not really. I don't think. Well, people were posting things of them from high school and someone was like, this is COVID, like during COVID.

27:00Paige DeSorbo: Because my cousin who had COVID during high school. Yeah. She fully is like self-aware and she's like, our being naughty was just like going outside. Like, yeah, you guys were like experiencing things.

27:13Hannah Berner: I think there's multiple, multiple factors happening. I think there's like the self-aware of people that are like we didn't experience sneaking out getting caught drinking going to a field they had meeting new people they had ring cameras their parents were tracking them it was a totally different experience also add in COVID but the USA version like the one girl used the term lustful the other night and I since this is a religious podcast because we talked about religion like the past two i was like what 22 year old girl is being like i'm not a mormon wife she goes i'm not lustful and it's like bib you're on love island all we want you to do is lust over everyone they every single couple is the same from the day they got in there which is unheard of in the love island world they're about to go to casa more and it's like we're like are you guys even gonna well i

28:18Paige DeSorbo: know that one girl came in she's so pretty soul and then soul and then she just got kicked off and she was like it's okay i've been to 10 schools and like i'm used to people not accepting me

28:29Hannah Berner: here's the other part love island is about watching them form connections and so you're interpreting me in the middle of my dissertation no i'm laughing that like you are the i'm passionate mouthpiece oh i'm so passionate i was like an og 2015 watcher i'm passionate and uk is very like currently their season is sticking to the original model like it shows more conversations it shows people falling like for each other and here's the other thing they're all very honest in the uk like They're saying to each other, these are my top three. This is who I'm going after. And the girl who's coupled with that person could be sitting right there.

29:15Hannah Berner: But they're all very open and honest. USA, the girls all feel like they're faking it with each other and their partners.

29:24Paige DeSorbo: Oh, interesting.

29:26Hannah Berner: The next thing I would like to say. There's two men. There's two men on Love Island USA.

29:30Paige DeSorbo: I knew you were about to speak about a man by your face.

29:33Hannah Berner: There's two men on Love Island USA. say and look if they said this season is for the bisexuals i'd be like hell yeah let's see some let's see some switch-ups with the girls and the guys but what's happening currently right now is

29:46Paige DeSorbo: there's two gay men on the show was that the ones checking out each other's wieners sorry i've

29:52Hannah Berner: noticed wiener before my life he said and let me quote this girth check opens his pants guys guy looks in it does like a good facial expression cut to next scene the guy says would you think about what you saw other guy responds long other guy goes i wasn't even like fully erect i was at a semi i go what what's happening here i go are we like are you guys trying to make us feel stupid these guys be what you want be together though but like don't come and love bisexual love island

30:29Paige DeSorbo: where you don't know who's that would be amazing i would love it that would why is that not a thing wait so are you saying you like the uk better show yeah but i've always liked uk better sometimes

30:43Hannah Berner: it's bad luck with a group totally this year's casting was was interesting because sometimes

30:50Paige DeSorbo: like a group mentality forms where like someone is being a little like this is how i feel and then everyone's like oh i guess we have to do that where if one person that's like what they say with stand-up comedy if there's one like really good laugher everyone else feels like they can laugh so if you have someone in the group that's holding people back that could be a bad a bad thing um but i love the honesty of the uk the uk is so honest and they're having like

31:15Hannah Berner: conversation like they just show you more of their conversation so you can feel when people are like falling for someone else or whatever usa is also it's almost like they're very aware of how you win the show and who becomes an influencer which of course they all want to be influencers yeah but i think that's why they're all sticking with their original partner and it's like okay but that's not

31:37Paige DeSorbo: the point like oh because they want people to like stand their relationship yeah but they all did it

31:44Hannah Berner: so it's like we we know that you all don't like each other because if you leave then you could

31:49Paige DeSorbo: be a villain if you say like i'm not into this anymore and then people are mad at you it's also like that's what the game is are they having sex in the villa some of them are yeah what's also funny about people dating in their early 20s like love island would be so different with people in their 30s because first of all like you know exactly what you want like you talk to a guy for three seconds and be like i'm so sorry i don't want to waste your time here yeah i can't do this i've done this actually already and it wasted three years of my life i can't do this with you and you're not going to change and you're already 34 so like we already see what we have to see and then it's like with the with your 20s no one knows who they are so how do you know what you want when you don't even know like well they don't know what they want that's why i would love

32:31Hannah Berner: if this season was just like fully bisexual because i'm like they're they're pointing it right in our face there's no way the editors don't know that we're thinking that they're picking these like clips to show on the show and it's like wait they should just be a couple i love that for them though like if there's anyone that loves a guy that loves another guy it's me honey you can tell me it's pride month yeah hello literally the best month of the month anyway so i've been deep in like two different versions of love island it's so intense and then my brother made me start this show with him so i watched four episodes this weekend can i guess yeah widow's bay no but on apple tv no idea cape cape town cape fear oh i do have to say apple tv doesn't put out a lot their quality not quantity honey top notch i'm watching this show and it is one of those shows where you're like oh yeah these are good actors like the acting in it is so and i'm not one that like loves a thriller it's not really my vibe but um martin scorsese direct is like the director and the main guy is i always forget his name but he's married to penelope cruz what the heck is his

33:56Paige DeSorbo: name oh javier bardem yes yeah that's my friend is it i interviewed him once oh i'm like how do

34:05Hannah Berner: you know me and javier are going back people don't talk about them enough as a couple like when you know what people are like oh my god my celebrity couple if they break up i'll die like no one mentions them it should be them well they're like so good looking but it's an example of if you want to stay out of the spotlight you can well i don't think they live in america exactly like think about the odds of both of them becoming as famous as they are and like getting together and they both like speak the same language it's just like very I think their story is very beautiful and no one ever talks about it and they have kids yeah I don't think I've ever seen their kids I love them I think they have a boy and a girl I love them so anyway I'm watching that show and it's really

34:49Paige DeSorbo: scary and weird but i like it i watched the gilded age the first couple episodes with my mom who are my mom well my mom was making me do all these things that i don't normally do um the outfits are so chic they were just filming in albany new york honey oh people don't talk about back then like if you were rich you had a ballroom how cunty is that you had a ballroom and

35:17Hannah Berner: you were like had to throw a party at least once a year and they were obsessed with charities

35:24Paige DeSorbo: like having charity parties and basically how all the new yorkers who were like old money new yorkers didn't like in 1890 when the new money new yorkers came in they were like you're a new money bitch or how about how they talk about like downtown they're like no no go downtown that would be

35:44Hannah Berner: insane and it's just like the it's the best show ever that's another show where the acting is

35:50Paige DeSorbo: phenomenal carrie coon is that her name i fucking love her and the older lady whose sister's cynthia nixon cracks me up she hasn't smiled once i'm obsessed with her as a brunette obsessed with her as brunette also name drop i went to high school with louisa jacobson and louisa and i were in a play together and her mom is Meryl Streep and Meryl Streep watched me in a play did anything come of it no was it possibly the worst day of her life it could have been

36:21Hannah Berner: but Meryl Streep was watching me act back in the day imagine Meryl Streep having to sit down and watch your performance of anything like I would be I'm like no I can't do it in front of me imagine Meryl Streep was like let me come to Giggly Squad Live I'd cancel the whole tour

36:37Paige DeSorbo: wait i'd be like can you just turn your head right now i can't take this i can't focus right now you actually can't come to giggly squad no louisa was on the tennis team with me and yeah just so funny like how you never forget a face like she actually looks the same as she did in high school and um that's my claim to fame that was my claim to fame and when i was when i went to polyprep for two years and that was where there were a lot of like richer families that were there and i was on my little tennis scholarship and that's when a girl lost her chanel and i asked the teacher who chanel was i said chanel's lost can someone find chanel my god they were like who's this alien that just transferred who's sending their fucking 13 year old with chanel

37:23Hannah Berner: earrings to school okay they could be vintage like they could be but that's so new york that's

37:30Paige DeSorbo: very new york city yeah also i don't understand time periods like i'm like anything before 2000 i'm like that was the 1800s yeah i love a period piece though you know i love a period piece but like 1890 i didn't realize the colors these women would wear because i guess all the photos did they have photos were like black and white so like i didn't realize they were wearing like

37:51Hannah Berner: vibrant colors all the time oh yeah i guess i've never thought of that she's in like some purple

37:58Paige DeSorbo: ass dress i'm like i didn't know they had purple in 1890 oh you thought they were all just wearing black i thought everything was black and white i'm just kidding but i didn't i didn't i thought it would be like light colors like a light pink or like a light light blue these bitches were wearing orange they were also wearing like like they were getting dressed in the morning like

38:19Hannah Berner: they had to course it up they had to like do a skirt do a dress over yeah then you had to get your hair done like i would have hated it are you kidding the my would have been like i'm out hannah my dream is to have a ladies maid like someone who are you fucking kidding me you know i love a period piece so like i've done so i know so many ladies maids like characters

38:46Paige DeSorbo: are this is that like she just goes around with you to make sure everything's okay yeah she just

38:50Hannah Berner: like literally vibes with you and she it's basically like your assistant and she's just like your friend and she comes in she helps you get dressed and she helps you get undressed and you gossip with her she helps you do your hair she like helps you find the latest fashion and if you're not married she like chaperones you so she could like get into mischief with you and i just feel like in a past life i either was a lady's maid or i had a lady had a lady's maid because i feel very connected to the ladies maid situation i feel very connected to a dl jester no but corsets were like unsafe okay you know what's also crazy about like watching gilded age is that's anderson cooper's family like people don't people don't people don't enough talk about it like that's literally he is the descendant of the vanderbilts and i'm pretty sure that's crazy could you imagine could you imagine being able to like remember when you were obsessed with that mormon website for a minute what was that mormon website you like literally went on and

39:58Paige DeSorbo: on about family family search.org and everyone got like a virus from it

40:04Hannah Berner: everyone's social security numbers have been stolen but we learned a lot imagine being able to just like google your family's history like so easily like him like well the gilded age is cool

40:16Paige DeSorbo: because it's all actual people right like the asters yeah the asters were real people the

40:21Hannah Berner: russells are based on i think the vanderbilts they the russells aren't a real family i don't think

40:28Paige DeSorbo: but the asters are real it's also so funny like she gets this like corner mansion and they're all like who'd you get to as your architect and she's like some guy from france and i'm like rich people are always the same like that's the same conversations rich people like oh who did your home decor yeah who did your who did your gardening also they had they had horses yeah and they sent cunty little letters to each other like it seems like roommates like well they would

40:57Hannah Berner: have a footman a footman would like bring your letters to different my ears are ringing and the doctor gigglers would say get that checked okay and some bitch better shut up about me see i always assume it's an ex-boyfriend not a girl i don't know none of my ex-boyfriends like

41:15Paige DeSorbo: can form sentences so do you know what's so annoying about my ex-boyfriends a crazy high percentage of them and i'm not trying to brag it's more like because they're i don't know what type of guys they are do not have social media or like any online presence like the last thing they have is like their high school sport they played and every now and then i try to check up on some of them and i'm like what like ghosts like literal ghosts but it means they're straight i

41:43Hannah Berner: think we're so same same but different because like i also haven't seen any of my ex-boyfriend's social media in years but that's because i'm fully blocked so like i don't know if they have social media or not i have not taken a gander i have not even looked also i feel like you get to a point where like it's it's even past the point of icked out by that person you literally forget that they exist so like if you see something you're like oh my god good for you that you're still kicking

42:16Paige DeSorbo: completely different man than i yeah i'm like i actually don't even know who that person is and like the one thing if you really want to find something though on an ex yeah find his mom's facebook and you'll find a really bad photo of him at thanksgiving like that's that's that's the t as you guys know butter is my literal everything i would do anything for her and i would do anything to extend her life okay i can't even look at her and think about that she's eight years old right now. No, I don't even like to think of her age ever. Anyway, then I discovered Smalls. Smalls is a fresh cat food brand made for cats and only cats.

42:54Paige DeSorbo: It's high in protein, low in carbs, high in moisture, mimicking what cats eat in the wild and supporting their overall health. Because more years isn't enough, I want them to live their best lives. So if I can make sure that Butter's nutrition is at its best, that's the least I can do as a mother. Butter loves her Smalls. I give it to her in the morning and night and snacks. And for a limited time, get 60 % off your first order plus free shipping when you head to smalls.com slash giggle. That's smalls.com promo code giggle for 60 % off your first order. That's a lot, guys.

43:28Hannah Berner: Go feed your kitties. This episode of Giggly Squad is sponsored by Haagen-Dazs. You know that feeling when you've been going nonstop and you finally just sit down and everything gets quiet for a second? That's the energy Haagen-Dazs is giving and I'm so here for it. They just dropped a brand new flavor made to be savored. There's the new Coffee Almond Toffee Ice Cream. It's Brazilian coffee ice cream, buttery toffee pieces, crunchy California almonds. The coffee ice cream is deep, smooth, and toffee brings the warm buttery sweetness and the almonds give you that satisfying crunch with every spoonful.

44:06Hannah Berner: It's the kind of thing you have to slow down for because you actually want to taste all of it. And that's the whole thing about Haagen-Dazs. It's rich, smooth, creamy ice cream that's genuinely too good to rush through. A moment that's just for you. Take your sweet time. That's Da's. Find Haagen-Dazs new coffee almond toffee ice cream at retailers nationwide. Giggling in Bed brought to you by Mattress Firm. Summer is here and if you're a hot sleeper, this time of year is genuinely brutal. You're already warm, you're outside more, you're doing more, and then you finally get into bed at night exhausted.

44:40Hannah Berner: And instead of actually recovering, you wake up at 3 a.m. trunched in sweat, feeling like you ran a half marathon in your sleep. And you just kind of accept that this is your life. Like this is simply who I am as a person now. But here's the thing, and I genuinely did not know this for a long time, a lot of common sleep problems actually come down to your mattress. And while there are plenty of reasons you might sleep hot, the right mattress can make a huge difference. Mattress Firm sleep experts have the training and the tools to match you with the perfect mattress from their curated selection of America's best mattress brands, including options with the latest cooling technology so you can actually sleep through the night.

45:19Hannah Berner: If you're experiencing a sleep problem that is keeping you up at night, Mattress Firm is here to help. For the great sleep you deserve, visit Mattress Firm during the 4th of July sale. They make sleep easy. Hello, Gigglers. You know that on occasion when I host at my apartment first and foremost I have to check with Daphne and I also have to stock up on Arm & Hammer hardball cat litter. Yes Daphne is my cat but let's be honest she's really my boss and she's not going to let just anyone come into the house and smell her cat litter especially not people that she doesn't know and that's why we both agree on Arm & Hammer cat litter.

45:52Hannah Berner: I trust the odor experts at Arm & Hammer and it gives me peace of mind when guests come over and truly since I started using this litter I have not thought about her litter box having any type of odor and when I first got Daphne it was my biggest fear that my apartment was just gonna always have this cat odor and also I thought I was going to have a cat odor. I was like people are gonna know that I have a cat at home and it's gonna be because of the odor that's coming off of me but everyone should be a cat person that's what I truly believe and even my mom has kind of converted into a cat person and she was honestly one of their number one haters and it's okay because she is allergic to them, but she is definitely going to call out a cat odor if she smells it.

46:32Hannah Berner: So for all my fellow cat parents, be guest ready with Arm & Hammer Hardball Cat Litter. Find it now at Walmart or Amazon. Not to be annoying, but I have to bring up my grandpa. Wait, how did I know you were just about to do that? You get a certain look in your eye. I go, and now it's the segment of the week. Things I want to say about my grandpa. No. I feel like your grandpa's in heaven right now being like, shut. shut the fuck up let me rest in peace get over it i said i loved you like a couple of times

47:05Paige DeSorbo: summoning me no so my mom and i are to are on shelter island shelter island is triggering for me because my grandpa's house is like across the street from my parents house so i have to walk past his house like yeah that is sad so i was talking to my mom basically like we're walking doing our mental health you guys are doing a ouija board

47:36Hannah Berner: lenore doing a ouija board she'd be so teacher about it she'd actually be great to be like she'd

47:41Paige DeSorbo: like a b c d

47:47Paige DeSorbo: so we're walking and we're talking about grandpa jerry and a car speeds by us now grandpa jerry famously drove a little too long in his life hated speeding

48:04Paige DeSorbo: he had a car too no he was 92 and he was he was driving crazy on these roads so like you'd see a crazy be like there's a grandpa jerry and he had a blue mazda that was like a very unique car okay no one had as we're talking about grandpa jerry a car starts speeding by and it's a blue mazda and it was to the point that i wasn't like oh that looks like his car it felt like i was in that moment watching my grandpa drive past me oh my god and i are like that's grandpa's car and this is a small island there's like seven people on this island what did you do with his car like where is his car oh i have no idea but like it wasn't like given to actually i have no i should check that like does someone on shelter island have his car no i don't think so but like it was crazy and that is so interesting and then we like we're starting the race and someone on the mic is like saying people's names and they just say grandpa jerry in like really it was like stephanie pierce leila thompson grandpa jerry like it was really wait did you just name real people no oh but i did come up with those names i feel like i know

49:24Hannah Berner: wait that's kind of crazy and like it is it was father's day weekend it's father's day and then

49:29Paige DeSorbo: my dad said he went to go shopping and there was a guy who looked just like grandpa that needed his help and i was like i think like grandpa just partied with us this weekend yeah and grandpa

49:41Hannah Berner: loves when i play golf wow i have an astrology reading on thursday oh my god i'm so excited

49:49Paige DeSorbo: so excited i should have given him your birthday i'm gonna say i'm selfishly excited because i always like what they tell you about your best friend your business partnerships like how is the vibe i'll give you all my info oh i think i like i think i figured out dez's phone password phone number i think i figured out who dez is do you know i have a fucking husband named des name is des he was real names desmond what is

50:20Hannah Berner: des's middle name desmond what ryan so i got nervous i got nervous that i was not gonna know

50:26Paige DeSorbo: he's so so irish but um oh yeah i was always like oh butter wow what an og giggly squad

50:35Hannah Berner: crew neck wait should we make this again where is squad country club butter say hi to the gigglers No, we should remake that because I don't know where mine is.

50:45Paige DeSorbo: So I told Des I want to read his chart. And he told me he doesn't know when he was born. And I'm like, I can't go to the archives of like 1872. I'm not going to find it. Where's his birth certificate? Who knows? But I can't ask his mom. Anyway, so I waited a long time. And out of nowhere, I was like, do you know what time you were born? And he told me. So he was holding back on me because he didn't want me to read it. So he did know. So he did know. So I can't trust anyone around me. Now I'm forgetting. I think it was like 1.50 a.m. What time were you born? 12 p.m. In the afternoon? Yeah.

51:24Hannah Berner: Hannah, I was born at like 1. I was born at the same time. We're like, we're actually going to sleep in quick. We ride at not dawn. We're like, why don't you have breakfast? And then we'll rendezvous and see what's going on.

51:39Paige DeSorbo: wait when i was watching mormon housewives they were like talking about being pregnant together and i literally got emotional thinking about us at one day we might be pregnant together

51:49Hannah Berner: well you know what i think about in terms of that that stresses me out is because like at any given point ever because you're married and you're an adult woman you could call me at any time and be like hey i'm pregnant and then not to make it about me i'll have to scramble like i'll have to go get my eggs yeah i'm gonna have to see if they're okay you call you go it's time time to defrost i'll literally just i'll have to do it you're basically saying like you're not

52:24Paige DeSorbo: gonna let me do it alone if i do it like you'll speed up the process like if next week i was like i think i might be pregnant you'd be like okay i'd be like okay give me a month let me get my

52:34Hannah Berner: affairs in order because i can't i can't just i'm like hold on i'm on my period right now give me one week and i'm wait how sick is that imagine if you called me and we're like i'm pregnant and i'm

52:47Paige DeSorbo: like okay coming like okay i will too like okay i'm coming in friend groups i think like someone gets pregnant and then make someone else want to get pregnant and it kind of like can go through

52:55Hannah Berner: a friend group a little bit anywho anywho hannah's not pregnant her grandpa is still dead

53:05Hannah Berner: and lenore's a personal trainer so that's what happened this weekend

53:12Paige DeSorbo: um okay now just to look forward when are you going to italy where are we at with the outfits i'm stressed out like do you need my help okay so this week i'm like i'm slowing work down okay

53:27Hannah Berner: I'm just doing like meetings and zooms I'm not like getting ready and going anywhere Yeah, I'm not performing anywhere I'm just doing like my regular stuff And I'm also doing my maintenance stuff So like I'm getting my nails and toes done this week I had a little trim on my hair last week Your pony looks really cute Thank you, my hair's so greasy, I haven't washed it I'm getting my lymphatic drainage massage Who are you trying to look hot for? this is just like my pre-vacations this is my pre-vacation stuff i wash all my spray tan off because i like to go no spray tan so i can get a good base and my outfits i have been like ordering stuff but i have not looked at everything as a whole and so on friday and saturday will be like my picasso days where i'm like what about this with this and let's take a picture in this and see if these shoes work kim is so tired already i could tell kim is like she's exhausted well kim also like kim packs for kim and then kim packs for my dad and then sometimes my 38 year old brother will say hey what should i bring and she'll say oh don't worry about it i'll do it and so that's like kind of what i'm trying to avoid as a wife and mother i like that is like one of my top things that like i'm not packing for anyone your brother's smart i've done that before with the can you just

55:04Paige DeSorbo: help me start yeah no and next thing you know you're like thanks have you ever packed for des

55:11Hannah Berner: yeah sorry why did i ask you that yeah that was like offensive it's like do i know you

55:16Paige DeSorbo: i remember like des's stuff was on the floor and i was like ew pick that up i'll pick it up and put it away but like i'm telling him that's what i did yeah i'm trying to weaponize my incompetence yeah like if he thinks he could leave stuff on the floor and i'm just gonna pick it up after him that's that's not how we play this game but then again i do occasionally i'm like your stuff is on the floor and he's like so is yours and i'm like okay touche two can play at that game i'm excited to see because this is a a whole new summer for you what the little themes are going to be like is there going to be chrome is there going to be butter yellows is there going to be what kind of

55:56Hannah Berner: sunglasses i'm just itching to know yeah i don't know because last like every year before i always have one outfit in my head that i'm like i'm so excited to wear that on vacation and i don't have

56:08Paige DeSorbo: one of those yet do you feel pressure like you have to beat last year yeah i always feel pressure every day hey hey hey hey hey don't put that on yourself there might be a don't put it on yourself

56:20Hannah Berner: this is the longest we're going we've ever gone for we're going for two full weeks so there might be a whole week that i don't even appear online which i think unless my outfit is really good but i'm not even gonna post it real time i'm gonna re i really am gonna try and take one whole week yeah of nothing on my phone gorgeous and me and my mom looked at each other this weekend and we were like we really we need to connect on this trip and she looked at me and she goes we're gonna hold hands a lot and talk oh and i was like i i wish my mom would do that instead she tricks me my mom was like you know it'd be fun giving you a fucking hernia

57:05Paige DeSorbo: she was so at one point she was like are you okay and i'm like no she's like what's hurting i'm like literally everything and she's like are you out of breath i'm like yeah plus my legs plus my arm plus my lower back oh lenore but no holding hands with your mom is so cute no it's so sweet she's so sweet so just so the gigglers know the next two weeks the episodes are going to be a little chaotic because page is going to be in a different time zone in italy and it's going to be fun like it's gonna be crazy we're gonna feel like we're a euro summer together was it last year

57:38Hannah Berner: that we were on a zoom and i was in italy and i fell asleep yeah that a whole that was a whole year ago wait we've never even told the story i'm we're on a zoom with amy poehler and i'm in italy and we were like doing something and you text me and you go you're literally falling asleep and i'm like it's i'm so jet lagged i don't i can't even keep my one eye i think it was like two or three

58:01Paige DeSorbo: a.m. though at your time yeah like it was like we had a really important meeting and i was like of course i can do it i'm just like and you know you had too a little too much pasta that day and

58:12Hannah Berner: your body was like no i was like no i'm awake i'm listening actually like that was the scariest moment of my life i'm like i'm falling asleep at an amy polar i'm like i was like how could you do this to me right now question mark no all i do is screenshot your face during zooms it's my

58:31Paige DeSorbo: favorite thing to do because i'm like you can see yourself like you can see the face you're making and you're still doing it that's and i know you're staring at yourself that's the funniest part of it that's the funniest part who's to judge me me me the whole time i'm staring at you like oh oh and she's yep she's bringing out her microcurrent device you're like oh big yawn

59:03Paige DeSorbo: like when your pet yawns i'm like are you she just woke up from a nap but look how pretty she is

59:10Hannah Berner: literally me getting on a zoom is you talking to butter that's like how you speak to me like no sudden movements she just woke up

59:19Paige DeSorbo: also last zoom i fully got out of the shower and went on the zoom like i was a wet full wet wrap

59:25Hannah Berner: and everyone looks at you weird and i'm like sorry no i looked at you jealous i was so jealous well if it's after five o 'clock i could be anywhere yeah i could be anywhere doing anything oh god

59:37Paige DeSorbo: um gigglers we love you so so so much let's talk to you soon and have an amazing week bye

1:00:14Hannah Berner: Bye. Learn more at Amazon.com slash Alexa Plus. Hey there, it's Wayfair here, where delivery and setup are as easy as a few taps on your phone. You're relaxing in an old hammock, scrolling Wayfair's app, when you spot it, a brand new patio set. Next thing you know, Wayfair delivers it right to your patio and sets it up. Oh, you need a new grill too? All right, Wayfair's got you covered. With Wayfair's room of choice delivery and fast expert setup on qualifying orders, life gets a little easier. Visit Wayfair.com or the Wayfair app.