Giggling about male spaces, demon hunters, and run clubs

0:15Paige DeSorbo: This podcast is starting at 1111, which is where our spirit angels want us to be. Yeah, we're at the right place at the right time. Welcome, my Giggly girls. I just chugged a Dunkin' Refresher.

0:27Hannah Berner: Buckle up, vibes. So a lot will be edited.

0:33Paige DeSorbo: How are you?

0:35Hannah Berner: I'm good. How are you? I'm good. I had... You had a full weekend. Every time I checked the internet, I was like, oh, and she's still working. And she's still working.

0:46Paige DeSorbo: I love when we have to go on the internet to find out about each other.

0:49Hannah Berner: I love when I get an update on you from the World Wide Web. The other day I commented on a video of you. but like there were no comments there was like seven likes I was like she's perfect

1:02Paige DeSorbo: everyone's like get out of the comments I love that my feed knows that I love you and I just

1:07Hannah Berner: I'll get your like Amazon lives and I'm just like yeah like anytime something like is about me that's going around the internet that's like not good I'll call one of my friends and be like are you getting this in your algorithm and they'll be like absolutely not I've trained my algorithm to be obsessed with you.

1:22Paige DeSorbo: Well, that's how you can check who's like low-key a hater. Yeah. If they know the negatives. But I'm no help because you'll be like, have you seen this? And I go, what planet are we on first of all? But no, I don't see any negativity. I see praise. I see comedy. I see loyalty. I see love.

1:39Hannah Berner: I see girls supporting girls. Speaking of girls supporting girls, you were with like 8 million men this weekend.

1:47Paige DeSorbo: Are you okay? I've trained my whole life for this moment yeah like i couldn't i just want to say to the academy i couldn't have done it alone i felt everyone the giggler support in this time for you guys who don't know what i did this weekend i got an email that was like do you want to do stuff for the rider cup which by the way i love golf um this is a sports podcast it was a natural fit i will say my first initial reaction

2:09Hannah Berner: was she's going to a horse competition they're jumping over different things and they're running They're riding her. Yeah. And they're riding the car.

2:20Paige DeSorbo: And it was with, and they said, Marcelo, who's a longtime friend, and Colin Jost, who I've never met before. So I was like, this will be fun. I'm going to make new friends. So first up, the call time for three days was 3 a.m. No. Now, I don't know if you guys know. That's illegal. Starting glam at 3 a.m. is a violent crime. Yeah. But then I realized there's something about waking up at 3 a.m. where, like, you're not actually that deep in sleep.

2:48Hannah Berner: Right. You haven't even hit REM.

2:49Paige DeSorbo: It's kind of like, you know, when you're like partying and you take a little nap, but then you like get up and you're like, yeah, I was, I actually didn't fully fall asleep anyway. I can go. So 3am was kind of my sweet spot.

2:59Hannah Berner: What time were you going to bed? So the problem is I'd go to bed at like eight, but then I just

3:07Paige DeSorbo: like fight with my own thoughts. And I'd like think of things that I've like done in the past. that I probably could have done differently. Perfect. But then I realized Des loves watching the Mets, and he was like, I'll watch the Met game. You go to bed. And I was like, no, no, no. The Mets put me to sleep. Yeah. Come in here, watch the Mets. Perfect.

3:25Hannah Berner: He probably loved that. He was probably like, this is the dream. We're both asleep by 8 p.m. Oh, Des was like, welcome to my culture. He was like, let me show you what we have on the nightside table at eight o 'clock because it's very different than midnight and for people that don't know every night

3:43Paige DeSorbo: at like nine does this like are you tired and i'm like yeah and he's like you should just go to sleep now and i'm like no my second wave comes at 10 then i have a party like on my own like i have a

3:51Hannah Berner: whole life without you when you go to sleep at 9 p.m so you're you're a couch person until like your eyes are closing and then i've i've sometimes will be naughty and just be like what if i just

4:05Paige DeSorbo: Slept on the couch. Slept on the couch. And then at 3 a.m. I wake up.

4:08Hannah Berner: Because it's like having a sleepover with yourself.

4:11Paige DeSorbo: Yes. And you know what? At the end of the day, we're just having sleepovers with ourselves every night.

4:16Hannah Berner: I went through a phase of anxiety where I couldn't go to my bed. Without the TV on? No, just in general. Couldn't even go in my bedroom and get in the bed because I was like. I've seen too much. I've seen. I know too much. If these walls could talk. and so like I spent like a month on the couch and then one day I woke up and I go I think this is depression.

4:40Paige DeSorbo: Also what are sofas called that like have the long sectionals? Yeah. Let's talk about sectionals because. Let's. I've been waiting for someone

4:47Hannah Berner: to bring this up. I'm gonna bring it up because people are afraid to bring it up.

4:50Paige DeSorbo: Yeah. Sectionals are single-handedly ruining my life. Yeah. I wake up in the morning lie on my sectional and think I'm awake why am I so tired? Because you're not awake you're in a different bed. Yeah. That's just in your living room yeah and that's how I like to live my life um but at night it's so easy to fall asleep on my sectional yeah and then I'm like why am I gonna wake up brush my teeth to get more awake and then try to like what kind of yeah hunger games is this at night you ever like wake

5:18Hannah Berner: up in the middle of the night and you're like I have to pee but I'm gonna be like woken up so you try and do it with your eyes closed like you try and walk and you don't turn the light on because I'm going to keep this darkness and maybe my brain will think I'm still asleep.

5:31Paige DeSorbo: And also, this is coming from two people who are very good at sleeping. I know some comics who can't sleep. The second there's a moving vehicle, I'm out. Yeah, I'm done. But the funny thing is...

5:42Hannah Berner: The second a man picks a movie, I'm asleep. I'm like, yeah, let's watch that. I could catch some Zs. You know? You're so... Right? Because any time they're like, I really want to watch this, you're like, perfect. I'll be sleeping 15 minutes.

5:57Paige DeSorbo: Well, Des and I, some of our biggest fights are when we're trying to figure out what to watch. And he'll be, like, very picky. And then at one point, it's, like, 830. And I look at him and I go, why are you even acting like you're even going to fucking get to the, like, plot of this movie? You're falling asleep the first two minutes. You don't get an opinion.

6:11Hannah Berner: You know, it's even a better feeling saying to a man, like, hey, we're going to watch the show. Them not being really into it. And then 20 minutes in being, like, I love. there's like a power that you feel that you're like yeah i knew i knew you'd love this show

6:26Paige DeSorbo: or they go like why would she do that because i don't want to say they're interested but they're like trying to understand they're like oh so that was because of that and i'm like you're in deep i wish jess would get into nashville but i haven't even tried to encroach him on it yeah is that a word nice nice i made that up encroach if it doesn't mean that it should so um what happened was i have trouble falling asleep when i know i need to fall asleep yeah Like when there's pressure involved, then I'm out. So I'm like having trouble falling asleep. I finally fall asleep at like 11. I wake up at 12 thinking it's like 2.55.

7:02Paige DeSorbo: And yeah, I check. I realize I've been asleep for 20 minutes and I thought it was already three. So I wake up at three. It's pitch black. My girl's doing glam on me. I'm apologizing to her profusely because I'm like, this is my fault. You're here. And we get to the Ryder Cup. And I've never been to a live golf game. and it the energy was you've never been to like a golf tournament interesting i would have assumed

7:28Hannah Berner: you've been to many well look peacock is listening to this they're like interesting and that actually makes a lot of sense that wasn't in the initial zoom and we should have done some research yeah

7:38Paige DeSorbo: i love watching the golf channel because i am a retired old man deep down but watching golf live there's it's 18 holes and i have to say i was looking out for you in terms of wag options yes justin thomas who's one of the top u.s guys his wife came up said she's a giggler shout out

7:59Hannah Berner: jillian we're obsessed with you so cute on the green but i have to say for jillian

8:03Paige DeSorbo: this is not a morgan riddle situation this is not tennis morgan riddle shows up sits down. She's seated for three, four hours. And there's waitresses. There's waitresses. The lighting is great. Gorgeous. There's, she doesn't have to deal with other people. No. These wags. Yeah. They're in the thick of it. Have to follow their husbands for miles while surrounded by crazy fans who are like, like Rory McIlroy's wife was getting like verbally assaulted. Yeah.

8:33Hannah Berner: and she well and now you know what it's like being a woman and i was just gonna say that's interesting in a space full of thousands of men the women are getting heckled heckled interesting

8:47Paige DeSorbo: interesting she's not even there performing she's like hi i'm a supportive patron and then i was just thinking of the wags because all the european wags are wearing these tan blazers they're all matching like and then all the american wags wait is the rider cup always

9:01Hannah Berner: America versus Europe which is funny because I'm like okay so it's one country versus

9:06Paige DeSorbo: 35 countries who knows who knows um but that's how it worked out no I kept asking everyone of spans in Europe and they were like what are you talking about ma 'am and I was like I don't know

9:18Hannah Berner: I actually don't know no you did so good like every clip I saw of you was so good and I'm sitting there like watching like edits of you and I had this thought I know why you did so good because you you love being in male dominated spaces and being like wait a minute I'm gonna trick all of you into literally being my bitch like you were like interviewing them but they didn't know that you were making fun of them like the satire it was just so good thank you so much

9:56Paige DeSorbo: thank you so much because i was in a war and the gigglers were messaging me they were like blink if you need help yeah but i love golf to my core and i also love disrupting male spaces so you're so right i was in the thick of it but let me just set the stage for you it's pitch black it's 5 45 p.m yeah they put a mic on me a.m sorry a.m and they go you're gonna go into the grandstand and I'm like no one's gonna be here at five or five thousand people are in the grandstand pitch black so I'm like it feels like it's nighttime oh and men don't notice little details

10:31Hannah Berner: they've literally planned figured out carpooling to be somewhere at 5 45 on a Saturday morning you

10:41Paige DeSorbo: You don't know your own mother's birthday, but you've navigated organizing all your friends' outfits. I was just going to say matching costumes. Matching costumes. They've rehearsed chants. They're so fucking ready. So I get there, and I realize I'm surrounded by 5 ,000 drunk men at 545.

11:03Hannah Berner: Also, I'm really hating men today. I don't know why. I had a nice weekend. Here's another thing with the men. they get so many life breaks so all of the weekend during fall saturday and sunday dedicated to them then they've even added monday and thursday dedicated to them then there's a day on the weekend where they're like i really want to go with my boys golfing great go like i don't give a shit but no one ever talks about like if you're a mom and a wife and your husband goes and does these like activities with his friends totally fine have the best time ever but they there's not there's no equivalent like there's so many days built into the week that just instinctually you know like oh yeah the guys are gonna be like or like you ever been out before and like plans change pre-games change club nights change because it's like oh there's a fight on it's like every guy in america is at some bar watching some fight and you're like but i have an outfit we have dinner

12:00Paige DeSorbo: reservation yeah well yeah there's certain things society will like stop for whatever the men want to do. They're like, no, this is like the girls do it. They're like, influencing is not a real job. It's like, Oh God, God forbid we go to a beauty summit. But I do have to say, so there's a couple like golf influencers out there that I wasn't familiar with, never came across my algorithm. Yeah. And they were like all these crowds, like all excited to see these golf influencers. So I looked it up and I, so this is what men do. They watch YouTubes of non-professional players, like normal golfers golf with each other so i i went up to one of the guys and i was like so it's like twitch like other guys watch you and your friends play golf instead of them just playing golf with their friends and they were like yeah like we're just like their favorite their favorite streamers but then i took a step back and i realized i hate when men come up to us and they're like so you guys like just you just talk about stuff you just talk about stuff with each other and people like Giggly Squad, then I realized that's their culture.

13:05Paige DeSorbo: That's their culture. That's their culture. And girls listen to us because we all have the same sense of humor. But men's sense of humor sometimes. Chris, do you ever watch other men just do stuff that aren't professional at it? Yeah, it's called podcasting. You listen on men's podcasts? I have to. It's my job.

13:23Hannah Berner: I was going to say porn.

13:28Hannah Berner: Chris loves amateur. try.

13:30Paige DeSorbo: He's like, it's just more real. If we're getting into it, can I just say something? Yeah. Guys, definitely pick the porn based on the guy. What do you mean by that? Like, would you ever like, not click on one because a guy looks the type of way? Yeah. Yeah. Yep. And sometimes they're like, I like that one. It's funny. You're not, because I pick a girl. Yeah, based on what I like her to look like. I want Des to pick porn based on girls who look identical to me. yeah and then sometimes i feel like i want porn men aren't even in my porn algorithm

14:04Hannah Berner: i don't want to see a man having sex that's disgusting that's disgusting

14:12Paige DeSorbo: it's disgusting so like they ruined the porn it's like so embarrassing for them because it's so easy to get the egg from guys from porn like them even being like yeah i'm like i'm out

14:23Hannah Berner: yeah like i'm going oh yeah i'm out we don't talk about this enough either like i could in my head picture like four porn girls that like i've seen in the past 15 years that like you just always see gorgeous stunning i couldn't picture one good-looking guy porn star like i don't think i've ever come across one i know i also don't look for them so they could be out there i'm just not seeing it. It's none of my business. Anyway, we digress. We digress. It's officially fall because Banana Republic said so. One of my favorite stores because I feel like they have such good like vibe for fall. Like I want chunky sweater and miniskirt.

15:05Hannah Berner: Yes. I want to wear a ballet flat or a boot. Yes.

15:09Paige DeSorbo: A little chill, but then you get your sweater around and you're just like, I'm so little. I want to wear a sweater dress with a high boot. Yeah. And just like run around. I'm stomping on leaves. Fake glasses on. Yes. And look like I just finished reading a book. Yes. Even though I don't have a book. And you have like the perfect hair color for fall. I didn't want to say it. But it is. It is. And it goes well with all the sweater colors. It's sweater weather. Also, I like when the sweaters are like not itchy and they have like a little stretch to them and it feels comfortable. I want to be able to take a nap in them after walking around playing with the leaves, which is what I do in the fall.

15:45Paige DeSorbo: I also love a knit dress because I can wear it to podcasting then I could go to dinner with it then I come home and like watch tv in it yeah it's so versatile the fall in general I feel like

15:57Hannah Berner: is versatile because you can add so many layers and banana republic not only do they have like great sweaters sweater dresses but they also have like good t-shirts and tank tops and basics and like they also have really good button-ups like I'm always on the hunt for a new crisp white They're not all created equal. They're not. You need some oversized. You need some fitted. This is my question. Yeah. Do you button it up to the top?

16:22Paige DeSorbo: Sometimes if the look calls for it. True. Like if you need a tie. Yes. Yes. Yes. If you need a tie. A little tie with a cardigan.

16:29Hannah Berner: And their new arrivals are all inspired by their archives. Of the 90s and kind of like their heritage collection, which I love anything inspired by the 90s. It was a chic time. So good. But obviously Banana Republic has made them fresh. wearable for today just updated yes so let's present our october edit what are you wearing right now i'm wearing this i don't even want to say it's orange because it's like an orangey

16:56Paige DeSorbo: red it's just the perfect october sweater you're gonna the internet's gonna be so confused this is the new is it blue or gold dress it's to me it's burnt burnt orange but red it's giving orange red orange is shred. The way you're saying orange is throwing me off. Orange.

17:13Hannah Berner: And it's also a blend of wool and cashmere. I find fully wool. I get a little bit itchy.

17:21Paige DeSorbo: Oh, a hundred percent. I need a little bit of a blend. A hundred percent. You need a blend of merino wool and cashmere. What's your skirt?

17:27Hannah Berner: My skirt is just like this really cute suede, like again, chocolate brown. Chocolate brown goes with every color. Yes. You can put chocolate brown with anything.

17:37Paige DeSorbo: I am wearing my warm sweater dress. I love neutral colors. This beige and tan, I just feel like it's giving rich, it's giving luxury and you could wear it with anything. Yeah. You could dress it up with heels, you could dress it down with loafers. I love that it has a tie waist and a side slit. I love showing low waist. My mom told me to show my curves more so she's going to be happy about this dress. Oh good. Yeah. So girls, go shop Banana Republic's new arrivals. They are online and in the stores, high quality fabric, versatile. It's made for fall, but you can keep them and wear forever.

18:12Hannah Berner: Banana Republic is actually one of those stores that it's nice to go into because it's always clean and neat. And we love that.

18:18Paige DeSorbo: That's a note I need to make.

18:19Hannah Berner: And it makes me feel like I have

18:20Paige DeSorbo: my stuff together. This Brandon segment was brought to you by the one and only Banana Republic. So at one point, I get in the crowd and we have to find people to interview. And the producer is like, hi guys, this is Hannah. She's going to send you some interviews. is the guys all start chanting, And in that moment, I've never been more scared of my life. I was just like, I want to be out.

18:43Hannah Berner: That's, if this was on a quad, I'd be running. Like, if this was in a college campus, I'd have the police. I'm calling the police. Yeah, I'm calling the police.

18:51Paige DeSorbo: I'm calling the police. I looked at the producer, I said, something's going to happen right now and I'm going to need everyone on a high alert. And it's funny because I feel like the producers were like, oh, this is a different kind of situation. Yeah. But then, there's always like one giggler that I find and she looked at me i looked at her and she was like you can do this yeah i'm here for you and i was like okay but it's true the men don't they like i think that's the fun of it like i i don't want to make them feel like shit like i want to make them feel like they can talk to me yeah but and then say whatever they want but these guys were like we got away from our wives yeah we got away from our wives and i was like that's okay baby you're all like we just want to hang out

19:30Hannah Berner: with each other because these goddamn women. And Marcello said something where he was like, I've never seen grown men, like, flirt with other grown men to be like, hey, bro, I'm over here. Scotty, look at me. And I was like, oh, my God, he's so right.

19:46Paige DeSorbo: I do love fandom, and I love that people can love something and, like, instantly get joy from it. Totally. But there, like, when I was in college, when a guy was, like, obsessed with one of the guys on the basketball team, yeah it was like immediate ick for me just because i'm like he's your age you could have done that

20:04Hannah Berner: no that's exactly how i think of it like when if you got a couple push-ups in middle school like wow he's like so good he's like he's a rookie of the year blah blah blah and i'm like you're the same age like you could have done that it's totally great to like respect them

20:19Paige DeSorbo: and to appreciate them be like by the way yeah that guy's really cool but the way they'll be like if he fucking looks in my direction right now i will pay myself they're everyone's obsessed with Bryson DeChambeau, which I would go around asking people if they could spell DeChambeau, which obviously they couldn't. Neither could I. But then this one guy, I don't know if I should post the video or not because I actually feel bad for him. So he goes, I said, who are you rooting for? And he goes, you know, I get hard for Bryson. And then he immediately stops himself. And I look at him. He looks at me and he goes, no, I didn't mean it like that.

20:49Paige DeSorbo: And I go Freudian slip. He goes, i'm excited to cheer hard for bryson and i go still doesn't sound better but like these guys want to fuck bryson yeah they do like when he gets on they're like it's bryson i've never seen

21:03Hannah Berner: any men get up for something at 5 a.m other than a court date like what i mean what are they how

21:11Paige DeSorbo: did they all court mandated therapy yeah how did they all coordinate also a bunch of men coming together for to root for a guy named bryson america's over yeah we're done we're in the pits we're done he is if he has a y early in his name we're done that man can't be trusted so uh but also with golf like these guys i love the passion they were so riled up but like they're seeing this guy hit a tee shot right by the way the ball's the tiniest ball in the world no one can see where it

21:38Hannah Berner: goes so like why aren't they lime green hello i'm like what why aren't why aren't they highlighter

21:43Paige DeSorbo: color yeah hot pink at least sparkles yeah do something i can't see that you can't see it right into the sky gone but everyone's like quiet for the guy to go and then the ball goes and everyone goes ah and i'm like no one dunked like there wasn't like there wasn't a home run this was a and it it wasn't even the hole yeah so um i love golf and it was such a crazy experience i saw Jimmy Fallon. How was he? He, he was like, was he in a costume? He was wearing like a cool jacket. Jimmy's always a little stylish and he's fun. So I saw him. I was like, Hey, me and Paige say hi, whatever. Um, I'm trying to think what else I saw Michael Jordan.

22:24Hannah Berner: You did from afar.

22:26Paige DeSorbo: I just stared at him the whole time.

22:27Hannah Berner: Do you know how Michael Jordan has a golf? He loves golf course like that he made just for like him and his friends like I don't think I think it has like maybe a hundred members but it and obviously I don't think any women are allowed but we saw that

22:45Paige DeSorbo: coming I do Space Jam is my favorite movie so like I was in Starstruck and that is also basketball players when you see them in person you're like like yeah that's a big guy like when you see famous people in person you go and you're the tiniest thing i've ever seen but basketball is like the opposite because you see them i love that because i'm like i'm so skinny yeah and you see you see basketball players always with their friends yeah so you can't tell that they're small right such a fun experience i just had the best time i just like love sports yeah you do and then

23:18Hannah Berner: the gigglers so crazy i'm like i'm like watching clips of you i'm like she loves this also i feel

23:24Paige DeSorbo: like with stand-up you have to be actually amy poehler told us this to quote the great amy poehler in her show that she does with tina fey they do all these different things they do like weekend update and they do like um their oscars um monologue they do all these things and there's a part where they do stand-up and amy was like stand-up was actually the most interesting thing to do for me because she's like it was the most vulnerable because i had to be myself and i because she's like an improv actor and i'm like i never thought of it like that yeah like she's talking about you're talking about stories from your own day to day you're just like hi this is me let me tell you some stuff you're not like i'm a character oh that was the character that said that but with the sports reporting it's fun because like well my dream after tennis shit the bed was to be a sports reporter yeah if you come to our giggly squad shows you know we show some footage but i really wanted to be like a sports reporter so it was funny to i kind of tried to like be that

24:20Hannah Berner: character yeah back to you back to you in the studio i was loving it like the guys would start oh they also would start chanting i also love that you wore like that navy blue little bear

24:32Paige DeSorbo: sweater perfect for like early morning shout out to ralph lauren yeah it was so cute the bear had little golf clubs i felt a door but also when i put a collared shirt under a sweater under a

24:44Hannah Berner: sweater i mean business you have a money manager i'm not fucking around yeah no like i know

24:50Paige DeSorbo: So I know things. And I feel like also when I, the difficult, the most difficult thing about live TV is like you have people in your ear. Yeah. And, but I'm also chatting to Kathy. So I'm chatting with everyone. Someone's in my ear. I'm like, I'm not listening to that. Yeah. And they're going to. Just another voice. Just a Tuesday. Am I right? I go, I have 18 different things in my head right now. But also it is fun though. Cause if someone starts talking to you that you're like, don't want to talk to you, like I go, sorry, someone's in my ear. known it's like when you fake a phone call yeah um you're like so sorry i'm working but then people would start chanting around me and if you yell into the mic it sounds crazy but they can't hear you unless you yell right so i was like navigating all the yelling but um i felt like i was back at wisconsin at a big 10 football game fun who won so europe ended up winning okay europe one the Irish guy Shane Lowry sunk a putt to do to do it I believe good for Shane I was happy for him so anyway oh and then I also flew to Lady Gang Florida yeah for a couple hours for I went on stage 45 minutes yelled at a bunch of girls had so much fun got on a flight came back saw Taylor Strucker and Taylor Donahue no the girls are working the girls are working um and then you've been giving speeches across America you are Mel Robbins of Hot Girls.

26:18Hannah Berner: I'm like actually don't let them and then murder them. And this is how you put together a set okay.

26:27Paige DeSorbo: She goes I know you don't want to but you just go put them together okay. Okay. And this is how you walk in a kitten heel.

26:33Hannah Berner: So many giggly squad coded things happened at Harvard that I was just like yeah of course tell me everything so first I like would you really come to Harvard and like talk to they have like an entertainment club who like gets all of their speakers so like anyone can go and like listen to any of those talks so I would say it was like 100 business school students primarily like all girls but I walk in there and I'm like a little nervous and then like I see the room and I'm like oh this is gonna be fine this is just like their girls chatting and so we're like talking and then there's like a time for like a q a and this one girl raises her hand and i look at her and i go are your glasses real and she and she looks at me like yeah bitch i go to harvard they're fucking real she was she goes why would you come for my weak eyesight right now for everyone she was so confused at first she was like my glass i go yeah are they real or like is it like trendy and she was like no these are my glasses and i was just like okay sorry she goes sorry my vision is not a trend i was like i have it i love what you're doing they're like clear frames i like she's about to ask me a question i'm just like where did you get i love this aesthetic that you have and like what is this bookworm like vibe you're giving and she's like no this is me i'm

27:53Paige DeSorbo: like okay so it's giving smart girl you're in your head being like wait how do i replicate that i I love. Because all day I'm like, what would a Harvard student wear?

28:04Hannah Berner: Like I'm cosplaying. You dress up for themes. Yes. Like I'm going in there as someone different. I'm going in there as an adjunct professor. Like I have things to do. I live in Cambridge. Like I'm coming up with a whole scenario. So then like talk is over. I'm like walking out. These gigglers run up to me and they go, guess what? And I go, what? They go, we don't even go here.

28:31Hannah Berner: and I'm like this is the most giggly squad thing she was like yeah we heard you were coming and so we just walked in the door and I go as you should it's a free country the gigglers are problem

28:40Paige DeSorbo: solvers yeah they they don't they're manifestors yeah they will never be told no they're like

28:45Hannah Berner: pages at harvard cool we just applied whatever we just graduated I was like this just made

28:51Paige DeSorbo: my whole day I'll do college gigs and there'll be girls in the crowd after that are like we're millennials we just you know yeah enjoy the show yeah no i'm upset wait when you walked into harvard were you like because harvard is iconic like yeah how it looked did you feel like was this

29:08Hannah Berner: i felt immediately like elwood's i was just like rory gilmore really fucked up going to yale it's all about harvard like i was obsessed they gave me a hat we're sponsored by harvard guys if you want to apply use the code page 20 um i'm hoping that one day i can be successful enough that they'll give me an honorary degree and then it's like this game over yeah it's like sorry she went

29:30Paige DeSorbo: to harvard i do want to appreciate this full circle moment for both of us me becoming a sports reporter and you i'm just gonna say like you didn't even like apply to harvard no like that wasn't in your vision board and not because you didn't respect it more because you were like that's

29:47Hannah Berner: not my journey i never thought i never thought there'd be a group of people significantly smarter

29:52Paige DeSorbo: than me asking me advice never in my days the fact that you were like I could never get into Harvard like you've probably thought that thought before you know I knew I could never get into Harvard that I didn't even have that thought it was never a debate I just thought what a pretty school so happy that they went with Crimson no one's doing that you know like I never thought

30:15Hannah Berner: Could I not? It was like, we ain't chic.

30:19Paige DeSorbo: You go, H is my best friend's first name, so I kind of like the vibe. No, so the fact that you're there is so fucking cool, and it shows people like you don't even know what dreams you can accomplish.

30:32Hannah Berner: No, and also I realized that my love language is different events and finding the perfect outfit that just goes along with that event. So then the next day I had to go speak at this like Klaviyo like conference type thing. And I was like, what would a speaker with a headset wear? And I was like, a pillbox hat. Like I literally called up everyone. I was like, I need all the hats.

31:02Paige DeSorbo: Back up, back up, back up. How did you know what a pillbox hat was? Because I don't. What was the inspiration behind a pillbox hat?

31:09Hannah Berner: So pillbox hats started trending last fall. Okay. I didn't have an opportunity to wear one. I didn't have like the right venue. I couldn't find the perfect pillbox hat. It's very like Jackie O. Yes. She wears them a little bit more on the back of her head. I like the London Tipton look and I like looking like a bellhop and having it like right in the front. And so my whole personality that day was I was wearing a hat. And like even I'm up there on stage speaking and I'm like, well, since I'm in a hat today. Let me ask my hat. Hold on one second. it no literally I was the Hogwarts like hat sorter I was like you're Slytherin yes my hat

31:49Paige DeSorbo: was perfection as someone who can't pull off a basic baseball cap when you put that on I was like this is otherworldly like I couldn't that was like you thinking of Harvard is me thinking

32:01Hannah Berner: about you wearing that hat and then I'm looking for the bathroom and there's like camera people I think they were like filming it for like their own internal whatever and I like turned to one of the camera operators just be like hey do you know where the bathroom is summer house camera guy no yeah i was like oh my god you go how the turntables have turned i was like look at us look at us look

32:22Paige DeSorbo: at us just at harvard i thought you were gonna go to the camera guy being like can you send some clips because i really thought i look good in that they did seat me on my wrong side but like

32:32Hannah Berner: on my bad side but you don't but i was like wait i was like i'm in a hat so it's fine you decided

32:37Paige DeSorbo: you have a bad side?

32:38Hannah Berner: Well, I've taken on the role you've given me. Wait, I caused you to have an

32:44Paige DeSorbo: insecurity about one of your sides? No, don't. No.

32:47Hannah Berner: No, I have to be on this side.

32:49Paige DeSorbo: That's not true. I don't want my.

32:51Hannah Berner: Okay, I wouldn't get to saying that because if I ever want to switch, you'll be like, it's actually your bad side. Actually, I will use it against you.

32:59Paige DeSorbo: I love what the gigglers are so aware when we're standing that we're always on our sides.

33:05Hannah Berner: Wait, also this weekend, while you were like literally running the world. I woke up Saturday morning. I'm like, let me get a day in. Let me like do my own thing. I wake up Saturday morning. It's 8 a.m. I'm going to get a facial at 8.30. It's the only time she could get me in. I'm like, but I love this. No one's up that early on a Saturday morning except the girls coming and going from Pilates and bisexual men. Yep. Like that's the only people that are on the streets. Yep. So I get out of my Uber. I'm like 15 minutes early. So I'm looking at my phone to like, see what time it is. I'm standing, I'm standing closer to the entrance of the building than I am to the street.

33:46Hannah Berner: I'm not in the middle of the sidewalk, but I'm not like right up to like the entrance of the building. So I'm like, right. Okay. There's a lot of visuals. She goes, I'm seven yards to the right.

33:57Paige DeSorbo: Let me drop a pin for you.

34:00Hannah Berner: Ready? I'm me. So I'm not in the middle of the sidewalk, but I'm not like, there's also no one on the sidewalk. I'm like looking at my phone to see if I should go up yet or like what apartment number is it, whatever. And I just hear someone say heads up. And I turn. No, I'm like, I turn. I literally get turned around because all of the sudden charging at me is 30 people in a fucking run club. Okay. I literally audibly go, what the fuck is this? You got shot. I literally was, I was assaulted. I was burglarized. I was thrown on the street. Like I literally turned with the motion of them like whipping.

34:48Hannah Berner: They just took you with them.

34:49Paige DeSorbo: Next you know you're running. I don't know.

34:51Hannah Berner: I didn't sign up for this. I'm like, I have a facial. So I'm like, I'm immediately angered because I'm like, fuck you guys. Who the fuck is getting up? There should be signs.

35:04Paige DeSorbo: Like, you know, it says no biking on the sidewalk.

35:06Hannah Berner: No running on the sidewalk. I was like, is this what's happening before 10 a.m. on a Saturday morning? You've gone rogue. You've taken over the city. It's Gotham City here now. they they stop at the corner you're like no i literally like look up because i'm like who are these fucking people that i never want to see again i realize high school team high school track team oh they're just trying to run and so i was like you know what it take back everything they're chasing their dreams you guys get your exercise but also high school kids let them sleep

35:41Paige DeSorbo: no i was like guys what happened to after school activity it's after school activities no i

35:47Hannah Berner: I couldn't even believe New York City allowed something like that to happen.

35:50Paige DeSorbo: Also, New York City schools having a run club. Like my New York City school, our gym, the ceiling was so low, you couldn't shoot the basketball.

35:57Hannah Berner: I mean, I think it was the track team, but. Yeah. Get a track. I would say I liked calling them the run club. The run club. That's so funny. Because I thought they were adults.

36:06Paige DeSorbo: Yeah.

36:06Hannah Berner: And then I realized they were kids and I was like, sorry.

36:08Paige DeSorbo: I feel like low key running in New York City, though, is like a dating app. if you do it like people say the west side highway is just like hot people running and like eye fucking it's like the airport for fit people i'm not a doctor but i think running is so bad for you

36:26Hannah Berner: no it's so bad for your knees i think it raises your like cortisol yeah your adrenaline you're like i don't like i almost bought one of the shaking pads do it wait is it good how often

36:38Paige DeSorbo: do you use it every day because it says it releases trauma and yeah i haven't like cried

36:44Hannah Berner: on it but no i cried off it i really think it does help wait can i call you out for a second

36:51Paige DeSorbo: fine page calls me and she's like really focused talking about something but it sounds like she's in a in a car wash like it sounds like she's in a rainforest so i give her this is my last minute Get on the phone. You've got to listen to me. So she's rambling. And I go, hold on. Are you in a rainforest? Yeah. And then instead of being like explaining herself, she goes, what? And then I'm like, oh, maybe she's on speaker. You know, sometimes on speaker, it's weird. And she, you make me feel like I'm crazy. You go, what? What? And I go, it sounds insane. And she goes, yeah, I'm in the shower. Anyway.

37:29Paige DeSorbo: And I'm like, okay, you could have prefaced it with being like, hey, sorry, I'm underwater right now. But you made me feel like I was crazy for being like, you're drowning. I get some of my best work done in there. So you get in the shower, you get thoughts. Where is your phone?

37:44Hannah Berner: Well, I have my Octobuddy. So she's stuck right on the side. By the way, she has FaceTime me in the shower as well. Totally.

37:51Paige DeSorbo: I know her full routine.

37:53Hannah Berner: About 10 years ago, one of my friends called me, my friend Ryan. And I don't know, he's telling me something. And the exact same thing happened. I go, where are you? He goes, oh, I'm in the shower. and I go she goes and then and then the other and then you're like what I'm like you're calling me in the shower and he goes yeah this is 20 minute valuable minutes that I and ever since then any call I've had to make through that day that's not like super important but like I have to tell you something I have to talk to you I don't have any other time during the day you're gonna call in my

38:25Paige DeSorbo: shower I do think that we put too much pressure on people to get work done between the hours of nine to five while sitting on a desk yeah because creatively i'm sorry creatively for me stuff comes to me at 10 30 when i'm spacing out when i'm in my bed um i'm so hot right now yeah i'm wearing a tank top how are you take it off then we'll be matching oh and you have the hiccups oh page just one moment have you heard of um a horse girl fall is it horse girl hello is it horse girl apparently and this is my thing i love horses no i love a funny trend you know i'm on every trend horse girl was one thing that i never was able to do i think because i grew up in brooklyn yeah there weren't a lot of horse girls um but i the question trend is cool and i love animals it's

39:25Hannah Berner: funny that horse girls get like a bad rep because anyone i knew growing up riding horses they were wealthy sorry you have money horse girl cool your dad will buy and sell everyone in the town

39:36Paige DeSorbo: like and like yeah i know yeah horse girl is so weird that it got negative it's like cat girl crazy cat ladies totally but again you know what it is it's never horse boy no one's ever made fun

39:46Hannah Berner: of a horse boy they're never like it's a basketball boy it's like no he just plays basketball no one's

39:52Paige DeSorbo: like oh crazy little horsey men running around no they put it on the women sorry she's connected

39:57Hannah Berner: to her horse yeah sorry she has passions yeah um god forbid you're a friend thought the other day and i want to ask you i got one thought you know when there's like commercials where it's for like insurance like home insurance or like car insurance or something but it's like a story that has nothing to do with like home insurance but it's like a montage and it's like it's like two people meet and they buy a house together and then like the next clip is like oh my god they're having a baby and then the child's growing up and then like an asteroid hits yeah and they're like make sure you call geico like something like that when you watch those commercials do you think of yourself as the mom in it?

40:41Hannah Berner: Or do you think of yourself as the child? Because I was watching this commercial and it was like the parents getting the daughter ready, obviously for like her high school graduation. And I was like, Oh my God, like, I wonder what my future child's like high school graduation is going to be like or something. And then I stopped and I was like, I think I just turned into an adult. Because I feel like I used to watch those commercials and think of myself as the child and think of my parents as like I hope they have home insurance

41:12Paige DeSorbo: and now I'm like oh my god I'm the parent this is so funny for anyone doesn't know I've been auditioning um haven't gotten a call back yet but but she's trying she's trying to push I'm pushing hard um there was like an audition for a mom and I go this must be wrong because I'm not mom age also and they're like babe you're 34 you're actually geriatric actually they suggest you

41:36Hannah Berner: don't have kids now you're actually too old there was like a tennis movie and they were like the

41:41Paige DeSorbo: girls are like college tennis players and they go perfect yeah and they're like but we and you'll

41:46Hannah Berner: be their mom and you're like sorry how can i be a college person's mom if i'm also on the team in

41:53Paige DeSorbo: college you can't be a mom while playing on the team and they're like you've got something wrong auditioning for a mom yeah crazy behavior crazy but i also will watch those commercials and at first i i'm like the girl and then they start saying all this stuff about like and then you have to file and i'm like the second filings involved i'm like this is not relatable to me

42:13Hannah Berner: i i can't believe you just said that because all weekend i go the moment someone mentions the word margins, I'm out. Like, at Harvard and this Klaviyo thing, I literally looked at my manager and I was like, what if they ask me, like, a really hard question that I don't know? And she was like, you're gonna be fine. Like, you know what they're gonna be asking you. Be a politician. Turn it on them. And I was like, if someone starts bringing up margins and financials, I'm literally throwing up on stage and leaving. So anyway, that word really gets me going.

42:46Paige DeSorbo: I also have to give an update. Des and I sometimes have trouble picking the same kind of show. Yeah. Because we have different sleep reschedules. So I'm watching Nashville. But then he showed up one night and I was like, he showed up out of the blue. It was so weird. I was like, oh, do you live here? Who invited you? He came out from the bedroom and I was like, oh my God. But he's like, let's watch something. And this is the problem. He doesn't, he doesn't like murder documentaries. You're like, he's a little stubborn where he likes to say that if i can get it started before he can have an opinion he'll be sucked in yeah like he's always like i don't want to watch a documentary life is about making them tricking men it's actually so funny that they run anything and think that we're

43:32Hannah Berner: like second to them it's like we manipulated the fuck out of you guys but anyway keep going

43:36Paige DeSorbo: so we're there and i'm like what are you gonna watch i know he's gonna fall asleep soon so i'm like yeah whatever you want to watch and he he goes what's this demon hunters thing and i was like i don't watch his demon hunters and he's like everyone's talking about it what's it on it's netflix it's like the most watched thing it's about a is this the k-pop it's about a k do you

44:00Hannah Berner: know the story i heard someone talking about it because their daughter is like obsessed with k-pop

44:06Paige DeSorbo: he he basically does also was like sometimes we like to watch stuff to be like is there a joke here because it's like really popular that's how he prefaced it to me so i said okay we're doing research together.

44:16Hannah Berner: Wait I'm obsessed with that.

44:17Paige DeSorbo: Yeah he was like let's watch it and maybe there's something funny that we can get on stage and I said maybe we can make fun of these losers in this show. Or do you actually just want to watch demon k-pop hunters just say it. But it's so it's about this k-pop. I would love to see the pitch room of this. They're like okay so people love k-pop. Yeah. It's real people acting. It's cartoon but it's like realistic cartoon. Hold on. Your husband pulled up

44:42Hannah Berner: your husband on a Saturday night rolls up to the couch and goes hey check out this animated show we have fun here

44:49Paige DeSorbo: we have fun here so it's it's a K-pop group cartoon that their job to save the world is they have to kill the demons by singing

45:01Hannah Berner: okay this sounds so their voices you know what's gonna happen help keep the demons out I'm gonna have a gay son who loves musical theater and And that's my cross to bear. And you want to know what? I will support him and I will make sure I will be the biggest Nepo mom. He won't even have to audition. I'll get him in that room. Wait.

45:21Paige DeSorbo: So this is the thing. These songs are catchy as fuck. Yeah. So we start watching it to be like, let's make fun of this. Yeah. Next thing you know, our heads start popping. Next thing you know. You're doing full out routines. So there's this song called Golden.

45:35Hannah Berner: Is that how they murder them? Like by their routines?

45:37Paige DeSorbo: Well, they have to fight them sometimes, but it's actually funny because it's about, like, them staying famous, too. So, like, something will happen. They got, like, canceled and they had to, like, get different press. And then, not to give it away, but the demons decide they should create a boy group so that the fans go with the demons.

45:55Hannah Berner: Okay.

45:56Paige DeSorbo: And honestly, I was locked in. Like, we didn't say a word, watched it for, like, an hour 20. And then he's like, I think you have to go to bed, but this is really fun.

46:07Hannah Berner: same time same place next week

46:09Paige DeSorbo: so let's just say our marriage is back alive we're having fun

46:14Hannah Berner: and sometimes it's as simple as that

46:16Paige DeSorbo: one of the songs is on the radio I didn't realize it was from this show so I start singing to it and he's like you know the words and I'm like I'm just up on my pop culture what song? you're the only golden I'll send it to you it's really good I'll put it in the newsletter

46:30Hannah Berner: I haven't heard that

46:33Paige DeSorbo: one other question I saw people are skin cupping.

46:38Hannah Berner: Yeah.

46:39Paige DeSorbo: Am I going to give myself a hickey?

46:41Hannah Berner: Yeah. How do you? Oh, on their face? Yeah. Or like they're doing like on their back?

46:47Paige DeSorbo: On their face. Oh, no.

46:49Hannah Berner: It'll be fine. It's not, they're not as like intense as like the ones people do for like muscle recovery. Okay.

46:54Paige DeSorbo: Because I just feel like any mistake you can make on your face, I will.

46:58Hannah Berner: The suction cup thing, I feel like that's like been around. Like people doing it on their face. Yeah. It's like. you think it's kind of bs you know what i love is my metacube like device thing yeah that like

47:10Paige DeSorbo: vibrate like i think that honestly an ice roller is the best is the best i dermaplaned did you um and i've never felt so shiny yeah like i felt like a baby dolphin do you like it i don't know my makeup artist for the writer cup was like loved it because it goes on easier yeah but also i was

47:32Hannah Berner: I kind of like a little fur to keep me warm. You don't really have, like, I've never looked at you and been like, you have hair on your face. You've also never looked at me. That's true.

47:43Paige DeSorbo: I only look through you. I've never really taken it all in. I've never honed in on. Normally you see one thing and you go, oh.

47:51Hannah Berner: And then you're like, back to me. My mom always makes a joke where she's like, don't let Paige look at you too long. She'll tell you what you have to fix. And I'm like, don't let me in the room.

48:01Paige DeSorbo: but I love constructive criticism you know that I'm very coachable yeah sorry if I don't tell you

48:05Hannah Berner: who's gonna tell you if I see my mom and I'm like hey let's like switch up this hairstyle or like let's like change these boots or something I would want someone to tell me I feel like mom's

48:13Paige DeSorbo: hairstyles are so important to them yeah and telling them to switch up a hairstyle is like that's like you have to sit them down yeah like that's like having an intervention especially some of these moms who've had the same one since 1982 yeah my mom has dabbled with like she's done short yeah because she has them they have my favorite was like one summer she had a pixie

48:36Hannah Berner: cut oh and i was just like when you have a pixie like the day you have a pixie cut i'm gonna be

48:41Paige DeSorbo: like it's gonna be the greatest day of my life i can't wait you know i could see a little side

48:46Hannah Berner: part with i'm gonna have one at some point you're gonna sometime in like i feel like it's very like I'm turning 44 so like I'm in a pixie cut.

48:55Paige DeSorbo: I feel like if you have a pixie cut it's going to be iconic and everyone's going to do it where if I got it it's a cry for help. Yours would not be a cry for help. Mine would be like oh she's she's in our third marriage and she's.

49:07Hannah Berner: I might have to do like a pixie cut wig first to like see how I like it and test it out.

49:12Paige DeSorbo: You you haven't been have you ever done?

49:15Hannah Berner: I haven't dabbled in wigs the way I should. I feel like you should. It's funny because Mitchell said I'm going to Paris Fashion Week and he was like do you have any interest in doing a blonde wig for a look yes and I was like are you gonna bleach your eyebrows with it I would probably have to but it's like too intense for right now you guys this is too much admin yeah

49:33Paige DeSorbo: it's way too much admin can you promise me something when you go to Paris can you please like go consignment shopping yeah like go thrifting because it's the best so there will be a day where we do like a full shopping day I'm I'm going to the Victoria Beckham show

49:48Hannah Berner: and I'm like when I got the invitation I was just like that's my girl that's my best friend yeah like she was like oh let's invite my friend page let's not use a b-word but continue sorry that's my friend

49:59Paige DeSorbo: that's your friend you know you really well who yeah

50:02Hannah Berner: yeah and then she invited me to her I was just gonna say to her house

50:11Hannah Berner: then her team invited me you guys are watching

50:13Paige DeSorbo: manifestation happen yeah

50:15Hannah Berner: her team invited me before the show to get fitted for my outfit to wear like to the show and I literally like rearrange my flight to like be able to go to it so I'm I leave on Wednesday and then the show is on Friday.

50:28Paige DeSorbo: What I love doing with the gigglers because we started in reality tv and we weren't allowed to talk about any anything how it was made what was really happening anything yeah so now that we're doing other stuff I love being able to pull the curtain and like actually tell the gigglers what It's like, I didn't know what a fitting was. Like when people say, they'd be like, I'm going to a fitting. And I'm like, what is, like you're just, if you feel like this doesn't fit. But it's, can you explain what a fitting is to people?

50:57Hannah Berner: A fitting is a stylist comes over and brings a bunch of looks and then you try all of them on and you pick an outfit for certain events. So like I'm doing a fitting tonight for all my Paris looks. And also like the stylist I work with, it's sometimes I'm like, this is the best job ever. It's literally just my friend that I send different clothes to that I'm like, do you like this? It's just like a sounding board. And I'm like, do you know this person? Could we get this skirt?

51:23Paige DeSorbo: But her full-time job is telling you if she likes your outfit.

51:26Hannah Berner: Yes. And pitching you outfits. She FaceTimes me and she'll be like, yeah, it's okay. Yeah. You know? And then you add Kim into the mix and then we're a company. Okay, well, here's the thing. When I do a fitting for anything and I'm trying on outfits, like everyone at that fitting knows that the final decision will not be made until everyone goes home and then I'll text a final decision of outfits because once everyone leaves I then have to call in the big guns and I have to make sure she can speak freely and by big

51:54Paige DeSorbo: guns I've never been a part of this final decision I'm I never even heard a rumor about this happening

52:01Hannah Berner: I'll say mom I'm benefiting right now I'll call you after yeah and then I call her and I show her all of the looks and I've made the mistake before of having other people in that room for that phone call people were offended if you guys have ever seen say yes to the dress that's what it is every day for page yeah and there will be sometimes something i really like and i'll be like i really like this one and she'll go really and that's what i'm like and i'm taking it off

52:27Paige DeSorbo: immediately yeah i i also think with styling when you're trying on clothes like they want you to like what they pick sometimes yeah or they might have a relationship with a brand that they want you to start working with there's all these things going on that you're not aware of so sometimes you will feel uncomfortable in it but they'll be like i'm obsessed and you really have to get your own voice yeah and then sometimes you'll do something that you're not like fully comfortable with and then you post it online and everyone's like we hate this and you're like no the stylist world

52:57Hannah Berner: is crazy no like when rachel zo had her show and it was like brad goresky and like i need to re-watch that was like my first introduction to like what is a stylist and what i was like eight not ten whatever there is a reality show in the stylist world because i feel like my stylist is not like other ones like i feel like she is my friend and like we shop together like we look at things together and we're like what and she knows my closet like she'll be like oh you have those shoes that would go good with this and i'm like yes perfect but i always say when you see a celeb

53:28Paige DeSorbo: just chilling um at a basketball game yeah she was like there's so much that goes into her with those boots that like everyone's talking about yeah whether they're hating or loving I do want to say by the way fittings for Paige and fittings for me are very different yeah fittings for Paige she this is what she's been born to do like I'm efficient you've been doing it since you're what

53:49Hannah Berner: like six years old any stylist that works with me knows I don't stay in a fitting longer than 45 minutes one because I'm very decisive and two I can change clothes so fast yeah that like I'm not keeping anyone and I always ask like what celebrities like make you do really long fittings and one of my stylists was like one time I did a fitting with this one celebrity and she she made me stay there for eight hours and I was like at that point move in but you know it's funny we're

54:15Paige DeSorbo: exactly the same I've I've like broken records for fitting numbers yeah like amount of time because I am very decisive too yeah but like I I don't like fittings no me neither like you don't No. Okay, it's stressful. It's really stressful. Because you're basically put on an outfit and have everyone decide if you look like shit or not. It's like, exactly like this. And then sometimes you do look like shit, but you want to be able to pull it off and you can't. It's like being a real Barbie. And you also have to be so fucking honest with yourself. Like you have to be like, you look bad in that.

54:46Hannah Berner: And just looking at yourself in the mirror and being like, not today.

54:50Paige DeSorbo: It's actually emotional warfare. Like you see a dress that's like expensive and a great brand and they're like, you should wear it. And you put it on and you're like, I look stupid. Yeah. And then you have to just accept that and move on. Yeah.

55:02Hannah Berner: And it's tough. Or the internet will tell you. And that is humbling. You're like, really? That's the best you could come up with, you stupid bitch? I'm like, oh, my God. No, it's stressful. It's so stressful. It's so stressful. No, there will be times I'm in a video and I'm like, everyone's going to hate this outfit.

55:18Paige DeSorbo: I am in a little bit of a mood because I lost to Jared Freed yesterday in Fancy Football. Jared Freed's having, like, an amazing season.

55:26Hannah Berner: he didn't have a good one last season I literally heard through like seven different layers of communication that like I know for a fact that someone on your fantasy team got hurt

55:41Paige DeSorbo: girl like and I heard it I wasn't gonna bring it up yeah these men are dropping like flies yeah getting out on stretchers my main guy Malik neighbors I'm and I'm doing live tv by the way I check my football team and they go Malik Navers has just, his whole knee fell off. And I go, awesome.

56:01Hannah Berner: No, literally, whole knee shattered. I wasn't even watching. I heard it through like TikTok, Instagram. I was like, oh, I think Hannah knows that guy.

56:09Paige DeSorbo: No, fantasy football is gladiator. They throw him on the field and you're like, please don't have a lion eat my guy. Oh, he ate him. God damn it. So anyway, I lost to Jared Freed because Malik Navers twisted his knee. Wait, it's literally Sims. You're like, I hope my sim doesn't go there. No. My sim is literally going to get hurt. It's also scary because this happened to everyone's team. Like, these guys are getting hurt every game. So in fantasy, when someone gets hurt?

56:34Hannah Berner: I'm not even talking about their brain. Their brain's been mashed potatoes. So say someone gets hurt and it's like they're out for the season. How does that affect your team?

56:40Paige DeSorbo: So now, like, he was a high draft pick for me. I could have picked someone else. I picked him. So now he fucked me. So did you get to pick another person or no? He literally is being selfish. How dare you hurt yourself? Yeah. So now I have to, like, pick another guy and put him in his place. The drama. The drama. It is so much drama. Okay, so the men have fantasy football.

57:02Hannah Berner: They have the Ryder Cup. I mean, they have a lot going on. They have a lot going on. No wonder their schedules are.

57:06Paige DeSorbo: And baseball playoffs are about to start. Oh, my God.

57:08Hannah Berner: How are they even going to go to work? How are they going to do it?

57:12Paige DeSorbo: And then they watch the game, and then they listen to podcasts about other men giving their opinion about the game.

57:19Hannah Berner: A couple weeks ago, when I realized that ESPN was on all day long, I was shook to my heart. Well, that's my joke.

57:25Paige DeSorbo: I say, stop saying women talk all the time. Have you ever watched ESPN? They will just go.

57:30Hannah Berner: I thought they were fucking women.

57:31Paige DeSorbo: They don't even have a format. They just go. And their favorite thing to do is they just say, like, a thing that can't be proven. They'll be like, LeBron is the best of all time. It's an opinion. And then they argue it for hours.

57:44Hannah Berner: And why is no one talking about the certain suit choices that are being made on those broadcasts? Someone didn't do a fitting. No, no one does a fitting. No one does a fitting. I'm like, oh, what's going on here?

57:57Paige DeSorbo: I do have to say, so Ralph Lauren, who is so iconic, was dressing us for the Ryder Cup. And I was like, okay, obviously I'm going to look like the cutest. Marcelo and Colin go off. Like Colin's wearing a full suit. And Marcella's dressing as Chichi Rodriguez, and I was like, this feels sexist. Let me have a moment. Let me have a second. And Colin's just like full sports broadcaster. They were like clad. Also, come in. They're getting glam. You know how I feel about men getting glam. It makes me uneasy and uncomfy. Men getting glam creates monsters. No. For a man to be like, hey, can you get?

58:36Hannah Berner: No. No. So men getting glam and thinking it's like, oh, I am like getting glam. So I must be doing something cool. What you're doing that's cool is finding a boyfriend. And I love that for you. And I hope you find him. Because getting glam as a man, I just like you don't need it.

58:56Paige DeSorbo: Do you want to hear the funniest thing? So my glam was getting done at home at 3 a.m. And then I drive alone to the Ryder Cup. And the glam wasn't coming with me because they can't come into the stands with me. Like I would never put a woman in that place. Like I was like, no. So Des came with me on Sunday and he's like hanging out with the crew. And she gave me one, what's it called? Like a puff? A puff because I get oily. So I go to Des and I was like, come with us. Here's my puff. When I get shiny, your job is to puff me. So Des is following me with a puff. So before I go on, I go, Des. So then he starts leaning.

59:32Paige DeSorbo: You're like, puff. I'm going to be early. So then he comes up and I realize it looks like I have a like flaming gay makeup artist. So Dez starts going, oh my God, you look so good. And he leaned into it. Because I've never had a straight guy do my makeup ever. This isn't a stereotype. This is a fact. I don't think they can. I have seen straight hairdressers. I have had a straight hairdresser before. I've seen them. They do it like male chefs. Like you know how male chefs, they'll be like, oh yeah.

59:59Hannah Berner: They only come out when like the solstice is right. Yeah. Like, I rarely come across one. But they're manly about it.

1:00:04Paige DeSorbo: They're like, I'm straightening, like, oh, straight. Like, they're very like that. So, Des, literally, as he's doing it, I'm like, people. Because, like, let's be honest. Des is also, like, beautiful. Yeah. Like, he looks like Anderson Cooper. Yeah. Yes. In a way. But taller. And I was like, he's my full, he's my gay makeup artist for the day. And, honestly, role play is fun sometimes. It's so funny, isn't it?

1:00:24Hannah Berner: And he's, like, leaning into it. But he was so funny. I've had full relationships where I'm like, let's pretend this is different. I also think. I'm like what's the farthest from reality anything to take me out of my current reality let's do that

1:00:42Paige DeSorbo: how do we flip this on its head but he it's funny too because I feel like men don't notice little details like me explaining to him like some parts of my face will get shiny like my chin and right in between my brows he was looking at me in ways he've never looked at me before like he was like noticed like he was like oh he was like wait you have a nose i was like he's like wait you're a human my husband saw me for the first time he saw me for the first time um so wait is it just so relaxing like being married to someone

1:01:15Hannah Berner: where like you know he's like nearby rooting for you like while you're doing your work

1:01:23Paige DeSorbo: isn't that's so nice well at one point like he was filming me with and he was like i mean obviously the video was bad because he's straight yeah but i was like i couldn't do anything with your mom and dad yeah and i was like can you send it to me and he's like it actually was it was i missed it

1:01:36Hannah Berner: was blurry and my honestly that's how i feel josephine sometimes she'll send pictures of me to my mom like unsolicited and i'm like you care about me like no it's so yeah um speaking of men

1:01:47Paige DeSorbo: i also was thinking like if i were to start business one day i was like okay obviously it would be cat food but if i didn't do cat food like i want to do something that like there's like a meaning behind it like it helps people or something but then i realized what if the business is taking advantage of men so like what if i started like an anti-aging business because i feel like we're not fear-mongering the men enough like we are all so scared what if we literally like like chris he's gonna turn 30 eventually and i'm like men if you start getting wrinkles leo dicaprio chris we're like you're too old now we want you better when you're 27

1:02:26Hannah Berner: We like little cute male podcast hosts.

1:02:29Paige DeSorbo: Sorry. Is that a gray on the side of your ear? So like there's or like male like men should have like a bronzer. Like what if we made them be like you're pale because like you can't be walking around without like a little bit of color. We have to like you have to make them scared. Be like are you pale?

1:02:49Hannah Berner: Jude Law's out here like running amok for the men.

1:02:52Paige DeSorbo: It's just the marketing's wrong. The men are not being marketed to. They need to be scared more. They need to be scared more. So what if we were like, this$200 serum will make you look like, you'll hit George Clooney and then you stay there. Yeah. You know? Or like, and I'll make Des the face of it. And I'll be like, this man's 102. Because he makes this$300 serum. And the girls just push it on their boyfriends, make them pay. I think this is illegal. I think this is just women's skincare. No. I'm just copying I'm just copying how it's made I'm just copying how it's made Thank you guys so much for giggling with us Thank you Duncan for supporting the episode We love our refreshers By the way the gigglers have been tagging me In their Duncan refreshers And a couple girls are drinking Like exactly what I told them to drink That could be getting the order which is mango pineapple refresher Less concentrate and green tea So tag me if you keep ordering it And I just get my blueberry breeze lemonade You love your BB I love it.

1:03:54Paige DeSorbo: You love your BBL. Thank you guys for giggling with us. We'll talk to you later. Bye.