Giggling about Paige’s dog, doing dishes, and interventions

0:00Hannah Berner: Hello, hello. This is Brooke DeVard, host of the Naked Beauty Podcast. I want to talk to you about Lexus. At Lexus, master craftsmen called Takumi are involved not just in physical craftsmanship, but in all of those sensory details. These masters evaluate things like how a door closes, the click of a switch, the acoustic feedback of controls. Instead of just instruments, Takumi craftsmen rely on human perception and intuition to create what sounds and feels right. Out of all of the tools that Lexus uses, the most powerful one is understanding what will make us feel something. Because a car that doesn't make you feel something is a car that stops short of amazing.

0:40Hannah Berner: Experience amazing at your Lexus dealer.

0:45Paige DeSorbo: This episode is brought to you by Opill, the first over-the-counter daily birth control pill available in the U.S. And let's be real, getting a prescription for birth control is not always easy. about one in three women face barriers to accessing prescription birth control between scheduling appointments missing work or class just trying to exist it's a lot but now opil's putting birth control in our control making it easy accessible and honestly pretty empowering opil is a daily birth control pill that's fda approved full prescription strength and estrogen free it's 98 effective when used as directed and the best part you can grab it online or at most major retailers no prescription or doctor's appointment needed just you your schedule and your choice so if you're thinking about birth control check out opill to see if it's right for you use code giggly g-i-g-g-l-y for 25 off your first month of opill at opill.com that's code giggly at o-p-i-l-l.com birth control in your control we love to see it

1:59Paige DeSorbo: hello my gregarious gigglers i've said that one yeah sometimes i say things out loud and i

2:06Hannah Berner: think am i a doomsday prepper no because that just actually worried me that actually just

2:11Paige DeSorbo: made me really nervous before the pot we need a before the pod pod because i can't review it every

2:18Hannah Berner: time i think it's just grace doing a solo pod and it's before the pod and she's like this is what they said before we hit record and it was scary page was like can i record this zoom with like

2:31Paige DeSorbo: one bar and i'm like no no so she's like okay i was like do you have double a batteries because i know myself i don't just have double a batteries lying around she goes i do and she like pulls out some pink batteries i'm just kidding but you you have you pull out what is it called your my drill your drill you have a pink drill you have batteries you love putting things together

2:54Hannah Berner: i've emasculated so many men just based on my battery collection why do you have so many batteries i haven't met a man that has a toolbox compared to mine in years how proud is gary my dad oh he loves it he loves when i like okay the other day i'm at joe's house and i'm like i hate this room like i just i hate this room i can't look at it anymore like it's so it's just so boyish and like bland and whatever i'm like you have no color you have no life and so i was like i'm rearranging the couch and he was like totally like do whatever you want i will help you do anything and i'm like okay cool so like five minutes later he's like i have to take a quick phone call i'm gonna go upstairs like he goes upstairs i'm like i could fucking do this i rearranged the entire room i threw out everything from his bookshelves i ordered like art i ordered chairs i ordered a rug i'm just like if i want something done i'm doing it very lesbian coded

4:00Paige DeSorbo: of you the fact that you were able to take out your drill rearrange your whole room like that they get shit done and the lesbian allegations continue today he came down from his call he goes

4:09Hannah Berner: he goes you moved this by yourself i go in 10 minutes in 10 minutes i found three of kitty's

4:17Paige DeSorbo: toys under here and she is happy by the way page is tiny like if you meet her in person you're like she's like and this she's lifting a sectional five seater i'll drag anything

4:31Hannah Berner: you give me your arch nemesis i'll fucking drag her bitch that and a cloud couch so i know our cloud couch is worth it wait can we bring something up because i found myself on a reddit thread i think they are the most vile couch to ever exist and here's the other thing joe has a dog and let's just take a moment of silence for that wait wait wait are we are we

5:00Paige DeSorbo: announcing it to the pod that joe's a dog yeah i mean i guess it's just like something i've been living with silently no she's been suffering in silence this dog is up my asshole okay the dog loves page the dog sees page and the dog goes that's my mother and page is like we're not blood

5:19Hannah Berner: related we have no relation i don't know you i wasn't there the day you got taken home i like

5:27Paige DeSorbo: i have no connection to you we were adding a character to the giggly universe right now do you want to introduce his name we can't just call him the dog or we can no he is the dog i'm also his name i'm like when i met him i go really that's what they named you

5:48Hannah Berner: so that was the biggest issue we've been dealing with well no the biggest issue is really when i had to tell kitty about it and she was like what she was and in true here's the thing you never get a preview of like what your children could be like and that is like scary and sad to me like I wish you could get like a 30 second teaser once they tell you you're pregnant they're like and this is what your child would be like I feel like I do have a small snippet into the future watching Daphne because the way she's made this dog her absolute bitch is like she does things and i'm proud i'm proud she bullies him and i'm like stand your ground i came in very like if

6:35Paige DeSorbo: they're gonna meet like we have to get safety protocols like we have to protect daphne at all costs she literally has like brand deals on the way and like it then it becomes like a monetary thing and someone's gonna get sued like i don't we need insurance there was a period of time where

6:49Hannah Berner: you couldn't talk about it you were like i know i was like very nervous and no and let me tell you I did research so much research I in I really actually probably played it too slow like to the point where the pets were like oh we know the other ones there like also mind you before I met

7:09Paige DeSorbo: this dog I thought it was a Rottweiler like I was like it's an 150 pound Rottweiler I'm I'm so scared how are we gonna even like have them ever in the same room it's a 35 pound scaredy cat like it's

7:23Hannah Berner: literally the biggest baby kitty like literally licks her paw and he runs to the corner i'm like

7:30Paige DeSorbo: kitty kitty when he walks by like fakes like she's gonna like come for him and he starts like

7:36Hannah Berner: she fakes him out and then slaps him across the face and walks away she's like what's that

7:40Paige DeSorbo: she throws a ball he turns around she goes i didn't even throw a ball you dummy

7:44Hannah Berner: yeah he's like that's my girl anyway what were we even talking about that i

7:49Paige DeSorbo: you just like out of nowhere was like there's a dog in my life that's why i like when the pods

7:54Hannah Berner: in the morning because i'm so raw i'm so real i just like i'm so vulnerable i'm like i've been living in a hellscape this dog wait can i tell them how i almost accidentally killed the dog yeah pita take a break from this because then i have a story where i accidentally almost like

8:14Paige DeSorbo: had the dog run away no so page was joking she's like i love this guy but i don't know if i could

8:21Hannah Berner: be in a relationship with someone who has a dog no this is a serious conversation that like i

8:28Paige DeSorbo: thought about i was like i can't and then i was like do we give him an ultimatum are we like it's me or the dog there was a moment where i'm like i'm not a monster no but also this isn't just a dog to this man like this dog is his son this dog is his like this dog he loves this dog

8:45Hannah Berner: more than anything this morning he said to me last night you were really mean to the dog do you want to apologize i said i'm not apologizing to a dog what did you do were you like

8:56Paige DeSorbo: cash get out of the room i said get off the bed see that's also the problem kitty's a lot on the bed because she smells like pancakes i don't know where that dog's been that dog's been outside

9:08Hannah Berner: kitties poop and pee pee paws allowed on my face it's microdermabrasion okay a dog that's out in

9:17Paige DeSorbo: the wild i don't know where that dog's been okay we finally have like an event where we're celebrating like the dog and the cat have met yeah what are we doing oh we're in we're at easter it was easter so this is at the end of the day i love animals because i'm not a fucking monster of course of course so i go all the way to this pet store and i'm like what are dogs like like they're boys i'm like i'll get him a food something i don't know yeah they have all these like doggy treats of course there's like no cute cat treats it's all for dogs but like whatever that's the patriarchy so i get this like you guys i got a cannoli for a dog like they make dog like that was the cutest gift ever i was so excited so i'm outside with the dog you were meeting an italian dog you said let me into your culture i was like okay if we're gonna be family members like this is how i'm gonna connect with you so i'm outside with the dog and i'm like giving it the cannoli and the dog the dog like puts the whole thing in its mouth and starts choking and then like the dog starts like like and then i'm like oh no i can't kill the fucking dog on easter so then i'm like i'm doing whatever and then the dog's literally fine and then the dog eats all the cannoli but like for a second there i was like page things were about to be i was about

10:43Hannah Berner: to take care of everything for you and then the rest of the day i got blamed for hiring a hit man to come to my easter dinner and kill a member of my family also i do have to say des loves this dog

10:59Paige DeSorbo: does everyone that meets this dog loves loves the dog so it's been complicated to say the least but i also think it's been a lesson of acceptance um and that we should love tolerance other people

11:15Hannah Berner: and other things i didn't pick this dog like yeah i didn't pick this dog i have no i have no mother connection to this dog like oh my god it was there the day you were born like i do with kitty

11:27Paige DeSorbo: but just because you didn't birth it doesn't mean in all seriousness like very cute dog

11:34Hannah Berner: very well-behaved dog that's like what i care the most about and like obsessed with kitty and so nice to kitty yeah i did so much research on introducing kitty and this dog like specific breeds i called a psychic this is the right move we got the whole team on board you have to do so much it I actually did it over the course of like oh my god probably like nine months which like you can do it shorter of course but I was just so scared you can't rush it the first thing I did was like take two items of each of theirs and like swap it so they could smell it and then like I would only hold her and he could like see that she was there then I like introduced them

12:17Paige DeSorbo: through like a screen it was a slow process but when i tell you you guys they sleep together now no now they're like obsessed with each other but there are dogs out there that just don't fuck with cats that like it doesn't matter how much scent swapping you do they're gonna eat your

12:34Hannah Berner: cat do not dabble i think this is like a very specific situation with this dog's specific personality yeah i just got really lucky it also it's giving like the universe was like okay we'll make this we'll make this blended family work but it's so girls versus boys let me just tell you and me and kitty are trying to hold it down but the patriarchy is strong okay because we're used to quiet we're used to soft sounds in the morning we've never played ball you know like we don't kitty learned what a dirty tennis ball was yeah kitty was like no um but my dream is to have a

13:19Paige DeSorbo: dog and a cat that become friends like that's my algorithm yeah seeing them together and it seems very romeo juliet like nobody wanted to see us together but it don't matter yeah because i got

13:29Hannah Berner: you babe akon like sometimes i'm like you guys are giving kim and kanye in the best way no like

13:36Paige DeSorbo: It's at a point where I'm like, I think she's flirting with him.

13:39Hannah Berner: Yeah, like the first time ever, and this is like a few months ago, that Kitty laid fully on her back in front of the dog. I was like, Kitty, stop her up. Stop.

13:50Paige DeSorbo: Let's have some self-respect in this household. Yeah, let's have some decency here. Speaking of cats, wait, I have an announcement. I'm doing an event. Oh, honey, you're hosting an event? i'm hosting an event which you know i never do no that's so adult of you this morning you were

14:08Hannah Berner: like let me get a coffee and then we can chat and i was like in my head i was like that's so adult

14:12Paige DeSorbo: now you're hosting a goddamn event well look i'm in the hampsons and this is what you do you get in society you're literally in luan right now i know i was like darling i have to do some

14:25Hannah Berner: philanthropy this summer you got like a prop cigarette i have a feel like don't worry it's

14:31Paige DeSorbo: not real so okay this friday august 21st so my bestie in town owns the pilates studio that was convenient for me to be like i'm becoming friends with you because you're badass and cool sound body hampton shout out it's actually the hardest place to get into in west hampton i can't even get a reservation at this point so she had to expand and she got this whole huge back area that she's like i want to throw an event mind you you know i'm in with south hampton animal shelter or every day kiki-ing, checking cats that I want to adopt. And kitten season is now. Like, for some reason, I guess, I don't know what it is, but...

15:09Paige DeSorbo: Sorry. Hashtag kitten season, hot girl summer.

15:14Hannah Berner: You never heard of kitten season? I've never heard those words together in a sentence. It's kitten season.

15:19Paige DeSorbo: I don't know if it's, like, the weather or something, but, like, all the cats are having babies right now, so there's kittens everywhere, and, like, we need to get them adopted. Wait, this is a stupid question.

15:30Hannah Berner: Yeah. Are cats pregnant for nine months? Are dogs pregnant for nine months? Wait, that's such a good question. No, there's no way. That's such a good question. Hey, Siri, how long are cats pregnant for? 64 days. Now, if I could... Dude, they're living the goddamn life. If I could be pregnant for 64 days, I would have had four. I would be Ballerina Farm's worst nightmare.

16:00Paige DeSorbo: nightmare are you kidding wait how long have you been awake because you are awake right now

16:06Hannah Berner: i just woke up here's the thing i didn't really sleep well last night so i'm deluding i've been

16:13Paige DeSorbo: up you're on a bender you're on a bender right now you are you are cracking me the fuck up right now no i've organized four drawers i see i'm like i'm like is this a dream am i dreaming right now um we imagine a cat's like i'm 36 days no that's so she i'm 36 days oh my god well that's why that's why there's so many kittens no nine months is like come on well so as you guys know when i retire i'm always wanted to like open my own cat cafe or like a cat sanctuary or like something so i'm like this friday from 12 to 2 in west hampton i'm doing hannah's cat cafe where we're bringing a ton of adoptable kittens to this place and we're getting like coffee and treats and like there's like a jewelry person and like i think we're trying to get like an aura reader like whatever we're trying to just make it fun but if you're by west hampton you have to get a pet psychic we have oh my god i mean hello i think i also might do a painting and like auction it off for the shelter i don't know wait okay so last year remember you're gonna paint it well do you remember des got me like painting supplies for my birthday and then remember how good you were in new orleans and i was so good in new orleans even though you rushed me and it was an hour and a half i was like i wasn't even done with the shading i wasn't done with the shadows and the shading and you were like i want a beignet i was three beignets deep i couldn't breathe i had to go you called an ambulance in the middle of my my watercolor so i yeah it's it's gonna be so fun there is like a capacity thing where like we can't have so there's this guy his name's fire marshal and like so i don't know about the capacity but i want the girls to be able to come in take photos kiki pet some cats

18:12Hannah Berner: so no pilates no no no babe we're not doing pilates i didn't know if it was like pilates

18:19Paige DeSorbo: with like cats on top of you and also i've been doing i've been doing preparation for the event i've been going to the south end animal shelter just to like because i work there now because i'm like in business with them um 100 of the proceeds are going to them so we're just like partying and there's a 20 year old cat named ethel and she meows like this she goes

18:45Paige DeSorbo: because she's had it she when you visit her she comes out and goes up to you meows like that i'm not gonna do it again and then she just wants to be picked up and held yeah she's just like someone fucking carry me i can't walk what color is she she's like a tortoise shell she's perfect and they said she already has like 10 applications for her but if she's i'm gonna bring her i would literally so anyway um i can't believe you haven't fostered this summer well it's because i have i have the children here oh i forgot to tell you guys

19:27Paige DeSorbo: the reason i'm wearing a lip stain right now shout out wonder skin whimsical i get on the i get on

19:35Hannah Berner: the pod mind you it's the morning time it's like we get on at like 8 45 and hannah's like talking to grace and i look at her and i'm like do you have a lip on and she goes well yeah because lois

19:45Paige DeSorbo: is here and she goes did you did you brush your hair i'm like yeah lois has demands of me and

19:53Hannah Berner: expectations like well my boss is riding me pretty hard today i woke up i go hannah has a meeting

20:00Paige DeSorbo: because now if i say podcast she's gonna be like well you're doing it with me so you have a meeting and she goes are you gonna brush your hair and yesterday i swear god she goes i goes my smile better and she goes well your lips are chapped so she's like i can't get past anything so our game that we do is she's page i'm me and she goes we have to podcast so i've been podcasting all weekend and i go hi welcome to giggly squad i'm hannah burner and she goes i'm page the sore boat and then i'm like what do you want to talk about and she looks at me to like come up with the topics i'm like you're so page yeah i'm like and then one point she goes pretend i fell asleep during the pod i go i don't have to pretend it's definitely happened and during zoom meetings too

20:44Hannah Berner: it was one time hannah and i was on a time zone difference and you know that

20:51Hannah Berner: okay it was twice it was twice both time zone issues you guys my family left and then i don't know if there's been news because i've i've been a single mom i haven't been watching the news um

21:02Paige DeSorbo: a tornado went through yeah or so they say that now well now i'm like what is was there a tornado did you guys just want to come back yeah but there was a tornado um trees hit their car hit their roof and they were like hey we have nowhere to live like can we come back and des and i were like yeah we miss you guys come back um so we are our own blended family here they're back i'm actually going to add right now um a snippet of lois and i's podcast that i recorded um it's we recorded the podcast now page i have to ask you a question are you a girl's girl yes Why do you love girls so much? Because they're so pretty.

21:52Paige DeSorbo: And what do you think about the boys? No. What should we do with the boys? Take a first time out. That's what I said. Oh, and there's our producer Bobby. Bobby, can you say Giggly Squad?

22:07Hannah Berner: Giggly Squad. I thought you were going to be like, and I'll add a GoFundMe link because I'm dying over here. It's not good. We're drowning.

22:16Paige DeSorbo: then she was like pressing all the buttons and bobby's the producer um so bobby comes in he can be a little bit bossy and a little loud too yeah but they're adorable that's just oh wait on the pod on the pod i go she looks at me she goes we're best friends right and i go yeah we love each other and she goes but we don't hug i said lois where did you hear that she was like she must have overheard me like jokingly telling genie or my mom about how like me and you don't hug but i'm like she's these kids listen to everything no they're sponges the little freaks they're russian spies that's what they are they absorb it all she's all like i can't speak yeah yeah you and page don't hug even though you love each other it's like a weird thing i'm like can you speak or no one day i'm wiping her ass the next day she's explaining to me what my podcast is

23:16Hannah Berner: she's like uh hannah quick thing the meaning of life is like lois you couldn't use a fork yesterday

23:27Hannah Berner: no i think it's fascinating that like when you have kids you don't talk to them till they're like three like you you talk to them but they don't say any like they can't tell you back like but then one day they just respond yeah that must be crazy like you don't know what their personality i feel like truly is until they start talking and it's like it's so interesting that like for two years in your own home you have the stranger the small person but you do kind of know their

23:59Paige DeSorbo: personality like without them speaking yeah do you like bobby is hilarious i'll just chuck himself around like yeah you don't it's like when you meet someone who doesn't speak your language you like know the vibe yeah yeah yeah okay got it bobby like speaks like really mumbles right now so like only lois can understand him so lois literally will what's the word translate she'll translate for him okay so he'll come up to me and be like and i look at lois and she goes he wants spaghetti with parmesan and milk and he wants to eat right now and i go okay lois is probably like bobby's also wondering about your shoes it's like okay we know he didn't say that did he though he might have i go you you added that you added it at the end lois she goes no he said it he's concerned about what this look is

25:00Hannah Berner: no i'm obsessed with like in my head making lois like this evil villain

25:04Paige DeSorbo: well she is controlling like she's just this baby genius no she you should see her when she's like sees me she's like something's not working i don't know what it is throw in a necklace

25:18Hannah Berner: she's like oh no it's worse okay so i have a question okay has anyone actually known what they're supposed to wear to anything in like the last five years. Absolutely not. Because I feel like our generation has completely just like dress code is a lost art. No, there's no dress code anymore. And every invite, I feel like even if it's like drinks, it's like, okay, am I wearing jeans? Am I wearing heels? Is this secretly a wedding? You can't prepare.

25:51Paige DeSorbo: Yeah. And everyone's pretending they're chill while also texting six people asking, what are you wearing?

25:55Hannah Berner: Which is why I always check Revolve first. I feel like they somehow nail that effortless but still hot vibe. Everything's already styled in a way that makes sense. So I'm not trying to piece together an outfit from 15 different websites and open tabs everywhere.

26:10Paige DeSorbo: Yeah, and I love that if you find one piece, it immediately gives you similar options. You can build the whole look woman's stem of the week.

26:17Hannah Berner: Which is ideal because I have decision fatigue by like 10 a.m.

26:20Paige DeSorbo: They have all the brands we actually wear, like Agold, Helsa, ALC, Norma Kamali. So many new arrivals every day. And whether you need a dress, matching set, or something for vacation, it's all there. And I always convince myself I need just one more option, which somehow turns into four, but the fast shipping and easy returns make it zero stress.

26:44Hannah Berner: I wore this Helsa bathing suit cover-up, and I'm not kidding. It's the number one bathing suit cover-up that people DM me about. I've worn it on the beach, worn it to the pool. Honestly, I could wear it as a dress if I really wanted to. And I felt like I had my life together when I was in this outfit because so many people loved it. Whether it's a girls' night, a date, or one of those I need to look hot but not like I tried too hard moments, Revolve always has it. Go to revolve.com slash giggly and use code giggly for 15 % off your first order. Fast shipping, easy returns. It just works. that's revolve.com slash giggly you can shop our faves and get 15 off your first order offer ends september 1st don't miss out you know that i absolutely love my hair routines and when i saw my first graze i really had an out of body experience and i'm actually still not over it and you know that i do love to tweeze them but k18 new future iq biomimetic longevity hair serum is clinically proven to give you 19 ,000 more hairs, fewer grays, and an improved scalp barrier.

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30:48Hannah Berner: Roll out!

30:54Hannah Berner: Nutella came out with ice cream. So I just need everyone to know about that.

30:59Paige DeSorbo: Have they done a collab with Lactaid yet? No, they haven't.

31:03Hannah Berner: Well, that's next.

31:04Paige DeSorbo: Wait, should we just shut down the pod? Because Nutella came out with ice cream.

31:08Hannah Berner: It's just like I don't feel like enough people are telling me about it specifically. Oh, like reaching out to you. Yeah, like you definitely saw this. You know, what's funny is my brother is like if you go to his house or like he's coming over to stay with you, you're getting a weird sweet treat in the freezer after he's gone that like you've never even seen in the grocery store. It's one of the best characteristics I've ever met in a human. Does he share it or it's like something he just brought for himself? No, no, no. He's like, oh, I saw this. I thought that you would like. One day he came over and he left.

31:47Hannah Berner: And he left the most insane ice cream collab. I'm like, where'd you even find this? And he's like, I had to Google it. No, it literally, it was like Eggo waffles. And I'm like, they don't even make ice cream. Yeah. And I just think that's a personality trait in people that's, it's overlooked. And I don't know many people like that.

32:12Paige DeSorbo: Well, speaking of food, I have to name drop. Yeah. Yeah, I celebrated my birthday with Bobby Flay. Yeah. Wait, I saw that.

32:21Hannah Berner: We didn't even talk about it.

32:23Paige DeSorbo: So shout out, Bobby Flay, a friend of the pod, an avid Giggly Squad listener.

32:28Hannah Berner: There's a couple of people that listen to Giggly Squad that like he's one of them and John Stamos is one of them that I'm like, what?

32:36Paige DeSorbo: No, but he literally was like, it's really educational. And I was like, Bobby Flay, you're a feminist king.

32:41Hannah Berner: You know what? In its own weird way, it is.

32:44Paige DeSorbo: And his girlfriend, Brooke, is badass. She's a chef too, right? She's a chef on her own. She's like killing it on Food Network shows. But she plays tennis. So, and she's come to my like stand-up shows before. So Brooke and I were becoming buddies. And we're both Leos. It was both our birthdays. So they were like, come over. We're having people over. Oh my God, that's so cute. so des and i drove over and like we played tennis and then bobby's like making food for everyone like what like what do you make okay he made give like a yeah give like the vibe oh my god first of

33:26Hannah Berner: all like when you get there is he like oh here i have like appetizers but i'm also cooking like the main thing or is it like everything's out i have to say is like make friends with a chef

33:38Paige DeSorbo: yeah you need like one or even just someone in your friend group who can cook because these people like they love it like you know where you're like hannah can you make dinner and i'm like what did i do to deserve this yeah like he's this is how he expresses love like you come to his place and he's he's been cooking who knows since midnight who knows how long he's been cooking he's starting off it's not even appetizer it's just a soft shell crab sandwich with sriracha aioli but he's bobby flight so he's like yeah i chew some you know some crab on a bun and i'm like this is like a five-star restaurant appetizer oh you want some yeah we got you have some you know

34:16Hannah Berner: one thing i love that chefs do they're like whatever you have in your refrigerator and i'm like okay so ketchup and orange juice like what the fuck am i gonna do with that i have a bazillion

34:26Paige DeSorbo: questions because i don't know this life so i'm like when was the last time you you doordash like when was the last time literally let's just get chinese food and they were like what's the door dash like they're they're two professional chefs in the household no it's crazy i asked

34:42Hannah Berner: martha stewart that one time and she i think that's the moment where she was like i don't fuck with this girl she coughed on you she was like um she was like i've never done it but he

34:50Paige DeSorbo: so he's cooking we're all just like hanging out in his beautiful there's a beautiful island that it's like a shit whatever um and i was like i have to make a joke but it's gonna be risky because he's like working his ass off right and you know does is looking at me and i'm like now i represent does too so like if this bomb is like we're this is us that i'm bringing down and i just go bobby don't forget the seasoning like last time hilarious like are you kidding

35:18Hannah Berner: mic drop crowd stopper literally killed bobby's laughing i was laughing i was like let's get out

35:25Paige DeSorbo: let's end on top because like it was the risky because it's sorry you know when it's like quiet and like and like imagine they didn't hear you no and you guys as a female comedian as a female comedian because your voice sometimes just like goes never heard he's never heard and then like some guy repeats it and i'm like great okay cool um so he's laughing then he brings out one of these like chef like huge you know those like crazy salt and pepper shakes they have like in italy

35:52Hannah Berner: that's like mahogany hat i think you're gonna say like a chef hat yeah yeah and i go that's

35:58Paige DeSorbo: what i'm talking about last time you forgot the salt and they're loving it because like i love a food joke i love a food joke i know about eating you joke about what you know it's relatable it's funny because it's true so then i met sophie flay which is the reason why isn't she the sweetest well this is the thing about sophie fly she's page coded yeah i from the moment i met

36:27Hannah Berner: her i said i feel like you're my little sister that i never wanted never had the reason i know

36:32Paige DeSorbo: she's page coded is because when she walked in i didn't hear her she was floating light pages have really light steps like they can just come up behind you i didn't see it like they're so they're like this is the sound of the disney music when they walk

36:49that's how she walked in my dad says i glide i've had to have like meeting sit-downs with

36:56Paige DeSorbo: roommates where they're like how do you wake everyone up when you go up the stairs and it's unnecessary and it's weird like i've had actual roommate meetings about that like people have

37:05Hannah Berner: thought you've like done it on purpose yeah or they're yeah they're like why are you slamming

37:10Paige DeSorbo: the ground as you walk and i'm like it's generational trauma so also she comes in and she's wearing an accessory now hannah's we love accessories but we're not like committed to the accessory also we're not wearing like any hat that's gonna fit our head this was one of those things that like you could tell she got online and was like i know it's gonna look good on me she's wearing like a little straw hat thing that like looked perfect with her outfit and

37:36Hannah Berner: Like a bucket hat?

37:38Paige DeSorbo: Yes. Like a little bucket hat that she wore the entire dinner because it was like part of her outfit. Yeah. What was she wearing? See, that's the thing. I'm not like page code enough to like remember the full outfit.

37:50Hannah Berner: When someone's telling me a story and I'm really into it and then I say, and what were they wearing? Just know. My heart rate is going. I'm like so excited to hear the next part. No, like I don't remember what I saw.

38:03Paige DeSorbo: I remember how they made me feel and I remember feeling like...

38:06Hannah Berner: I bet she was wearing like some type of like white something like linen dress or like. Probably.

38:12Paige DeSorbo: It was light.

38:13Hannah Berner: It was cute.

38:13Paige DeSorbo: But she also. Yeah. She wasn't overdressed. It was very like effortlessly chic. Casual. And it was the point where like I was talking to her and midway I was like you're you're let's just be honest. Let's say what we're trying to say. You're page coded. And I was like I know you interviewed her at the Devil Wears Proud premiere. I was there too. She's like where were you? I'm like who knows. Yeah. Not asked to do the interview. That's for sure. oh wait i was shitting myself you you're shitting in front of meryl streep i'll never forgive you heidi klum literally in front of heidi klum um so that was incredible i love him and his girlfriend and that sounds like fun one thing i learned because i love being around really cool interesting people and i was asking him questions you know like the first time you hang out you don't ask them any questions you're just like right trying to be a fun time second time you're like let's

39:04Hannah Berner: let's check under the filet what's the top of like a the bun of a grill oh who knows who knows

39:15Paige DeSorbo: who knows that who knows keep going i was asking him like you know in your shows like how involved are you with like the creative like the set like the editing and he's like henna i'm on all of it and that's why i think some people are he's the beyonce of cooking like yeah beyonce is not just putting out just like putting her name on stuff and letting it go like he's detail oriented and passionate and yeah you know he was kicked out of school just because he he didn't get school and i was like neither did page and no i really didn't and he was like i just knew i wanted to be creative and like use my hands and i just was like this book stuff isn't for me and now he's

40:01Hannah Berner: i would literally sit in high school classes and think i'm never gonna need this but you guys might

40:07Paige DeSorbo: so like you should pay attention i'm obsessed with you because people in the comments every now and then would be like i think she's funny making fun of page page not being able to read and i was like sorry i'm raising awareness that you can do anything you put your mind to

40:17Hannah Berner: without being literate also like that's who we are we make jokes when there's jokes to be made

40:25Paige DeSorbo: yeah i'm not gonna miss an opportunity to ask page to spell no that's great and she loves it you guys she loves it she gets really up for it because sometimes i know it and i'm like let me show you so anyway shout out to friend of the pod bobby we love you or male giggler maybe But we do a Hannah Page try new things. And we cook with Bobby. And we like. Because last time we tried to cook with Kim, your mom. And she didn't let us. She didn't let us touch the food, which was so valid looking back. At one point I think she swatted us. At one point she was like, Hannah, can I talk to you for a second?

40:58Paige DeSorbo: Don't fucking touch my body. Don't touch that. She was like, oh.

41:03Hannah Berner: She's like, no, this is a watching lesson, not a doing lesson.

41:06Paige DeSorbo: I have one more lowest quote and then I'll move on from my motherhood.

41:10Hannah Berner: Yeah.

41:10Paige DeSorbo: I said um Lois what's your favorite animal and she was like flamingos and I said why and she goes because they're girls of course I said of course I said what are boys she was like tigers duh and I was like of course I'm like has there ever been a flamingo that's a boy and she was like no no that would be stupid and I was like I love that I always forget about the flamingo the flamingo is so iconic also they have to eat shrimp to be more pink which the lore i'm obsessed you're really so she would it's like when your pee is orange you're like somebody went crazy

41:47Hannah Berner: last night i would be a nutella ice cream at this rate like i that's where i'm at oh anyway how are you i was just gonna say like i feel like i haven't seen you no we haven't podcasted in forever no like doing a 45 minute preamble with your friend is so necessary to and and then you can get into topics you know can i talk about my marriage the floor is yours so you guys know

42:19Paige DeSorbo: doesn't i travel a lot we don't spend a lot of time together it's really beautiful for our connection um and this summer we've been together and now there's like people staying at the house so I can't just like go into another room when I feel like it there's people there so we decide to go to bed just like I thought we're just getting in bed at like 9 p.m on a Monday what time are

42:44Hannah Berner: you getting in bed like like in the average week in the past I would like he would go to bed and I would stay like watching drag race until like 11 and then I hit to bed and then I'm like an hour

42:57Paige DeSorbo: too it takes me to go to bed but lately in the summer 9 p.m i'm like let's start the process i'm 8 30 and i'm like let's fucking start let's get it going let's wrap this shit up but this is the thing when he goes to bed this man's going to bed yeah that's that's well why don't you tell

43:18Hannah Berner: the pod your freaky freaky ways in the bedroom with your husband and the lack of television

43:28Paige DeSorbo: so i have a little tv in this bedroom but turns out when you put on an intense documentary it's actually really hard to go to sleep right after i'd love to take a poll of the listeners

43:41Hannah Berner: of how many of you have tvs in your bedroom and how many of you don't because i came from a no tv

43:48Paige DeSorbo: in the bedroom household like did you have one when you were a kid no yes but it wasn't like connected yeah those bitches and i couldn't figure it out like it only played vhs tape so like

44:03Hannah Berner: mary kate and ashley was on a fucking loop in there yeah but also you'd be up all night if you had capabilities like that well i didn't break the rules so like when my mom was like tv's off i didn't think like oh i should like turn it back on i like i literally accepted her at her word i was okay you're like and it doesn't work now i'm like why would she steer me in the wrong direction

44:26Paige DeSorbo: she's obsessed with me so he's like maybe don't watch another crazy documentary i watched the travis barker documentary which i'll get into heart was beating rapidly you're like all right

44:37Hannah Berner: babe something light this is charles manson but it's kind of it's extended family yeah like if i

44:45Paige DeSorbo: want to go to sleep i need to watch the great british baking bake off is that what's called yeah anyway it's like 905 butters on me he's i don't know what's going on and i like turn and obviously like knock my phone off the bed and it hits the ground it makes like a huge loud sound and he's like oh you woke me up and i'm like it's 9 15 it's 9 15 on a fucking saturday i'm starting my day like i'm like beginning i can't be in like like at first i felt bad because i'm like he's asleep and i'm like it's the middle of the fucking day i can't tiptoe around my bedroom because you fall asleep at 9 0 5 p.m because you've been i'm not a prisoner in my own home a literal prisoner i haven't even brushed my teeth yet i'm like i have to get up and i have to get past butter and all the cords and like and i drop everything and then i'm gonna trip on stuff so i'm like a spy in my own bedroom at 9 30 trying not and he also wakes up with a blink of an eye like movement wakes him up he's a light sleeper yeah so that's something i'm dealing with because i don't want to like i respect him but also i can't live like this for like three hours before i go to sleep like i had to sneeze are you i had to sneeze and i did the like you know when you hold it in and you're like no that's not good for you that's that causes like inner turmoil i always think i'm gonna have a heart attack no once i almost shot myself because i held in the sneeze and has to come out somewhere and he's like sleeping so peacefully next to me 9 45 p.m i'm holding in sneezes in my own house so like thinking of you having to be super super quiet also we talked about it i walk like a like frankenstein around the house are you like watching tiktok on with no sound like are you at that level yeah yeah and then at one point he like wakes up he was like oh two screens because like i'm watching tv and i'm on my phone and i'm like no wait you want me to just watch commercials you want me just raw dog a commercial because i was watching tennis oh my god but that's

47:02Hannah Berner: like that's borderline jazz music in the background like please that's just like a softener that's elevator music babe that's we're not watching the great debate up here

47:16Paige DeSorbo: like with marriage like i used to do whatever i wanted at night i'm like this is me being good two screens that's me being good and one of them i don't even have volume loud and i feel like your

47:29Hannah Berner: algorithm knows when you're watching on silent because it starts giving you ones that's like a bunch of words and i'm like fuck you yeah it's like a paragraph like one day i thought my life

47:40Paige DeSorbo: was over but then i turned everything around if you believe in yourself that's that's when it it's dark late at night no i hate a motivational person oh god and then you just if god forbid i read one sentence i'm like oh no oh now i'm in the algorithm because i give it a chance

47:53Hannah Berner: no i can't do it so i don't like to i don't like to watch on silent i like to like do up the volume just like a tinge because i'm like i don't want it to fuck with my algorithm well then i've also

48:05Paige DeSorbo: been still listening to this podcast that i can't finish because i keep falling asleep but it's really good about the clip the what's it called i've been listening to it for six months i honestly

48:17Hannah Berner: it sounded like you said the clit which is crazy to them be like i don't know what it is it's clay

48:23Paige DeSorbo: the bachelor about his like pregnancy oh yes yes yes and we met um we met yes the host stephanie i think she's amazing so i've been listening to that so then i'm like putting it by my ear also i have to navigate like real it's like real life baby reindeer right it's also like he a girl accused him of being pregnant they never even had sex and like she took him to court and then she has more guys she's done this too it's crazy but i can't just like move my head because butter's also like laying in a type of way i can't move because of butter i can't move because it does

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54:18Paige DeSorbo: I have a scenario question.

54:20Hannah Berner: I love these.

54:22Paige DeSorbo: Because, you know, summer there's a lot of dinners, right? So let's say you're at a dinner at someone's house. People are eating.

54:28Hannah Berner: Yeah, people are out here.

54:29Paige DeSorbo: I don't know if it's your house or not, but let's just see. you're at someone's house and there's two women three men and one of the women did you just come up with this in your head or is it as we're going because there's a priest and a rabbi going to a

54:45Hannah Berner: tiger behind one door you must figure out the door where's the gun the question is how old is everyone there okay we're all similar ages okay undisclosed location similar ages how many women was it two women okay jeremy's six years old some of the eight years old do you remember those how old is sarah if jenny had two berries and sam i'm like fuck you and your blueberry pie

55:13Paige DeSorbo: you always chose c you're just like it's c um okay you're all like similar age let's say the girl had to go up to do something like she's doing something important and now you're left alone with the three boys and everyone is done eating what is she going okay she's leaving the table for whatever reason she had to do let's say let's say she had kids and she had to go take care of the kids okay so then it's you and these three boys okay three men everyone's done eating

55:44Hannah Berner: yep do you get up and start taking their plates wow um no i think the first plate i'm grabbing is mine and i'm grabbing my girlfriend who just got up from the table i'm getting hers and then you leave them to deal with and i would expect they all grabbed their own and something else on the table with the other hand like a shared dish or something yes yes okay so I did an experiment okay and I was like what if I just fucked off yeah what if you left oh I've left

56:26Paige DeSorbo: and I think I've left I did my plates I did my plates but I was like because my first initial instinct was okay let's take everyone's plates but you know I'm fighting the patriarchy every day and i said what if whoa whoa whoa that's three grown capable men why am i also taking their plates and doing the dishes yeah so some will call it lazy some will call it flipping the gender roles yeah and empowering women and i got up put my thing away and then i think i like i left the room and i said let's see if three grown men could figure out also there was food everywhere like why am i the sole woman here responsible for putting away the food obviously if i was mature i could have said hey can you guys help me yeah put away the food but i just wanted to see what

57:17Hannah Berner: what happened that's so scorpio of you you're like i could say something but why not set a trap like the amount of traps i've set in my day where i'm like i could have just spoken my mind but it's

57:30Paige DeSorbo: this is more fun but I also have internalized misogyny that I even thought that I should be

57:37Hannah Berner: the one to do it you almost feel like a sense of guilt that you're not doing it that's what I

57:42Paige DeSorbo: yes I felt guilty and then I was like do they think that I should do this right now I don't think they're thinking about it I don't think they're I don't think it's even crossing

57:53Hannah Berner: their mind because so many things magically get done i want to give men like i love men obviously like i'm attracted to them i want to give them the benefit of the doubt and sometimes i almost feel like i give them too much credit that they're like intentionally doing something i genuinely think there's a lot of situations where it's not even crossing their fucking mind because they've

58:18Paige DeSorbo: never had to deal with it that's the privilege of it but then also we can't assume that they are not gonna do it yeah just because they haven't done it and also this is about me by the way the story's about me i bought like a ton of food for everyone take out we're having so much fun my house too but like i'm kind of the host but then also that whatever and genie had to go with the kids and there were three men and me and i was like i bought this i don't want to also have to like take all the food like this is too much labor for me yeah you're like i'm not catering and

58:54Hannah Berner: cleanup crew i can't do it both do you think bobby flay is at home cooking and then cleaning

59:01Paige DeSorbo: no one expects bobby flay to then put his stuff away because you're like thank you bobby thank you to the chef um by the way why are all chefs men i'll get into it later so i just put my plate away and i was like let's see what they do and they figured it out on their own and it's crazy

59:20Hannah Berner: because i was gonna do it like my dad is kim's biggest helper yeah like he is behind her and she's like vacuums in this room like i need plates over here like we sous chef honestly we work for

59:37Paige DeSorbo: her yep we work for her my nana and papa before we're even done eating my papa's doing the dishes yeah that is a well-oiled machine so it's also i think like communicating but i just feel like as a woman it was like my duty to to like clear the table well i think part of like love and correct

1:00:00Hannah Berner: me if i'm wrong i think part of love is and it could be like with your mom your dad your brother your significant other like if I see a task or something that I could do that would take any type of burden off this person I love I'm doing it yes I think once it became once it

1:00:22Paige DeSorbo: became like a lot of people I was like this is too much for me yeah so like if I've cooked an

1:00:28Hannah Berner: entire dinner I for people I love I would expect them to feel the same way I do about them and I I would expect them to be like, oh, my God, she probably was so stressed cooking all of this. I'm going to help her clean.

1:00:41Paige DeSorbo: Well, that's what I was going to say. It's like, why don't you show love to me? Yeah.

1:00:44Hannah Berner: But you ordered in. So.

1:00:46Paige DeSorbo: And do you know how hard it is to order things? I had to consider everyone's allergy. I actually really love doing a group order. Like, I'm like, guys.

1:00:55Hannah Berner: Are you like a pass the phone around? Put in what you want. No, no, no.

1:00:59Paige DeSorbo: Let me cook, babe. Let me cook. I took a pen and pencil and I was like, drive around to the practitioner, please.

1:01:05Hannah Berner: see i don't want to i don't want to do the group order i know what everyone's gonna like at all times are you sitting in real life out to dinner are you waitress comes over and someone's like do all the apps are you the person they're pointing at to do all the apps it depends who

1:01:25Paige DeSorbo: i'm with like honestly my brother is a foodie and i also have that weird thing where like I trust my brother and I love him and I I eat everything so I'm like whatever my brother's like feeling freaky about go for it so when I'm with my brother I let him decide yeah does he lets me decide he's more chill with food he's like whatever you want so there's different there's different chemistries going on yeah yeah and then Indian food my mom knows she orders that like some

1:01:54Hannah Berner: people specialize oh you're oh you guys over in your family you're specializing in cuisine yeah

1:02:00Paige DeSorbo: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Not everyone is equal. Not everyone's equal in their knowledge of extensive cultures.

1:02:06Hannah Berner: Not everyone has a seat at this metaphorical table.

1:02:09Paige DeSorbo: Also, you have to understand, growing up in Park Soul, Brooklyn, at one years old, we were doing Japanese, Korean. We were Mexican on the corner. We're doing Thai.

1:02:19Hannah Berner: You're exposed so much.

1:02:21Paige DeSorbo: Korean. I was like, where's the bibimbap? And they're like, you're three years old. I'm like, okay.

1:02:25Hannah Berner: I actually feel like I remember the first day I had fried rice. Like I had Chinese food. Did it change your life? No, it changed my life. It was also a very intense bonding experience for my mom because my brother and my dad don't like Chinese takeout. Oh my God.

1:02:43Paige DeSorbo: So whenever they were gone, were you like, let's get fucking Chinese takeout? We liked getting Chinese.

1:02:47Hannah Berner: And we would watch Gilmore Girls.

1:02:50Paige DeSorbo: so at the Chinese restaurant um Sajuan Delight around the corner growing up the waitress loved my brother so much she would bring him back in the kitchen okay Dana was working for Sajuan

1:03:02Hannah Berner: Delight at four years old and I if I know Danny burner he was like take him bring out more food

1:03:09Paige DeSorbo: have him Danny was like and make sure that the dumplings come out stuffed okay whatever he put him to work he's like I don't care do more spare ribs oh my god oh good times no it's so funny

1:03:22Hannah Berner: honestly I it's funny because you and I are similar because we're very close to our moms and I get a lot of dms from girls like I hope I'm this close to my daughter or like oh I feel this way about my mom or like I miss my mom things like that and so like I'll think of like things from my childhood like yeah why am i so close to my mom compared to like other people like like were there things that she did of course as a mother that like made us really close but also like i think i was just like so sick in the head like we would watch gilmore girls and like the dad didn't live in the home they never saw the dad he was by all means a deadbeat dad but then when he came home everyone was like we love you daddy yeah like sometimes he was in the episodes but i would literally look at my mom and be like if you tried harder we could be gilmore girls like

1:04:18Paige DeSorbo: we don't like we don't need them wait do you know i never watched gilmore girls what never one time there was an era of my life where i guess i like missed a lot of tv i think when i was in florida hannah you i was at a tennis academy i was playing swank seven hours of tennis a day

1:04:40Hannah Berner: 14 years old well then you need to unwind with lorelei gilmore i mean it is some of the best scripted to you it's so good hannah and you do the rewatch in the fall

1:04:51Paige DeSorbo: it's very fall coded oh wait you're gonna watch this fall we should do i feel like book club obviously is too difficult for giggly squad but at least do rewatches together okay don't sign me

1:05:02Hannah Berner: up for your rewatch because i've watched it literally seven times and we do we have a book club we have an accessories club we have a clothing club we have a newsletter we have a lot we are if anything we're getting into college okay we are the president of a lot of shit so do you know i've never seen the oc what the fuck is going on you know i've never seen

1:05:25Paige DeSorbo: what's the what's the show with like lively i've never seen one tree hill

1:05:32Hannah Berner: gossip girl i've never seen gossip girl how did you assimilate in society i wasn't i was like

1:05:40Paige DeSorbo: playing tennis all day at a tennis academy where like we didn't have phones like let's have our phone like it was like a torture chamber no hannah this is like concerning you have to watch these things after practice and my dad was like we're watching the knicks and i was like okay well this is a sports podcast this is a sports podcast but we have to put gossip girl on lois

1:06:03Hannah Berner: will freak the fuck out she will like things will go over her head she will love the glitz

1:06:08Paige DeSorbo: of she's already stressed about project runway she does not like some of the looks that came out last week she was like they had all day can you show lois lizzie mcguire today well we were watching toy story you know she loves bo peep she just waits for bo peep to come on because she's

1:06:25Hannah Berner: she's like where is the only one in a dress she's the only one that put herself together and looks adorable the only one that was like we're filming a movie like i watched aladdin

1:06:37Paige DeSorbo: yesterday jasmine's so gorgeous lois loved it but like these disney movies are fucking violent within the first minute he like steals something and he's getting chased by guards and they're like let's slit his throat i'm like what the have they done a remake of aladdin yet they did they did but robin williams was in the first one and he was spectacular disney loved taking great comics and making them like side animals or like weird things like eddie murphy um are you talking about the animated one he said yeah he's the genie he's spectacular in it oh yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah but can we do we just have to acknowledge hayden okay no how crazy no it's so fucking sad especially because you guys know i just recently did a whole nashville rewatch oh right oh my god i forgot you did a nashville rewatch because you know me i never saw remember the titans i never saw heroes i never saw anything else she was in i saw nashville the second she went on screen you cannot keep your eyes off her and she's like a little genius like she was a little girl who was thrown into this and i just ordered her book oh you did which i think we all have to read sad sad sad and i think we can go into the week with empathy i was watching one of her podcasts she went on and she was just talking about like i wish they taught you as a kid

1:08:10Hannah Berner: to be nice to yourself yeah so i think we leave the pod with a mental health moment

1:08:16Paige DeSorbo: that's so nice that when you're when you're mean to yourself it actually doesn't make you better and once you learn that you can be nice to yourself the world changes for you and i think when page and i started to be nicer to ourselves things started to go better in our lives so yeah i'm the fucking best are you kidding you don't have and those voices that are being mean to you are not you yeah those are people from your past who are trying to take you down so don't let them win homework giggly homework everyone watch the travis barker documentary on hulu it's good

1:08:55Hannah Berner: courtney's in it there's a new oh then i'll watch there's a new period piece on netflix that i'm about to start tonight oh you're jacked up i'm jacked you're prepping all day for it rarely they rarely have a period piece that is in bridgerton which is the best period piece of all time you said it goes from your past to come through weird pod today also side note the reason

1:09:20Paige DeSorbo: we're close with our moms is because we had past lives with them so true i've been with my mom in

1:09:25Hannah Berner: every life oh yeah angel did say that to you wait i'm serious i need to make an appointment with angel because like the fall is just like giving her vibe and i need her do we go to boston i don't know i'm like is it as effective over zoom i think there were some girls that were like i zoomed with

1:09:39Paige DeSorbo: her i think it is but also like the in-person experience though she's like i mean we were in a witch's brew yeah there was like statues around us we're on the set of hocus pocus this game chills up my spine the whole time all right i gotta go okay we gotta go we love you guys so much enjoy your week and we'll talk to you soon and i'll see you if you're out in long Island at my cat cafe, look out for the link in my bio. Bye.

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