Giggling about pregnancy, pearadise, and pink trauma

0:00Hannah Berner: Okay, we're going to ELI5 Venmo.

0:02Paige DeSorbo: Nothing gets me going like an ELI5.

0:05Hannah Berner: All right, Hannah, ELI5. Explain it to me like I'm five spending your Venmo balance.

0:10Paige DeSorbo: So if someone Venmos you and you have the Venmo Debit MasterCard, you get instant access to your Venmo balance. In other words, you can spend that money immediately. And with the Venmo Debit Card, there's no monthly fee or minimum balance required. Oh, and you can also check out online or an app with Venmo. Same thing, instant balance access. Yes. Now, Paige, ELI5 Venmo Stash.

0:31Hannah Berner: You join Venmo Stash Rewards and earn up to 5 % cash back. Anything more? You asked me to ELI5 you. The more you use Venmo, the more you earn, and that's pretty much it.

0:42Paige DeSorbo: Okay, we love. And while we're at it, do you want to ELL5 why you still haven't paid me back for the smoothies from this week? My Venmo balance would like to know.

0:51Hannah Berner: Get the Venmo debit card or check out with Venmo. The Venmo MasterCard is issued by the Bank Corp Bank NA. Venmo stash bundle terms and exclusions apply max$100 per month. See terms at Venmo dot me slash stash terms. Venmo checkout not available at all merchants. So obviously we're professional bed rotters, which means we're also professional TV watchers. I take that title really seriously. We talk about it on Giggly Squad all the time, everything we're watching, and it's important.

1:18Paige DeSorbo: And we cover everything. You cover all of like the scripted dramas and historical things. and then I do documentaries which aren't historical. Those are just, it's different.

1:30Hannah Berner: So this is for our TV lovers. My entertainment from DirecTV gets you 60 plus channels and Disney Plus, very important, Hulu and HBO Max all in one pack,

1:41Paige DeSorbo: which you need all those things. It's very important. And I encourage you guys to get my entertainment for just$34.99 a month and you'll be able to watch my Hulu special coming out soon. Go to directtv.com slash genre packs and sign up today.

1:57Hannah Berner: New customers only. Service renews monthly unless canceled. Credit card required. Conditions apply to apps. HBO Max Basic with ads begins after a direct TV five-day trial. Learn more at directtv.com. Restrictions apply. Sup, gigglers. Harriet, fix the Wi-Fi. Manifest that shit. We can't be managed.

2:21Hannah Berner: I mean the day just got away from me

2:24Paige DeSorbo: Hello my gratifying gigglers We have so much to talk about today I'm like I have like a notebook out You're bursting The docket is crazy

2:34Hannah Berner: We were on FaceTime last night and we had to hang up That was so sad It was actually sad Sad

2:41Paige DeSorbo: We were like vibing and then I was like coming up with more shit And then at some point Paige was like stop

2:46Hannah Berner: we need to save this for the gigglers we're gonna have no contact we've just laughed about it all

2:52Paige DeSorbo: do you realize giggly squad is actual therapy for us because yeah i actually stopped doing therapy a couple months ago because i was busy and but you know in therapy like you you're doing well and you just complained to your therapist about how you're so busy and how the therapy's stressing

3:06Hannah Berner: you out and then you're like i think you're the problem i didn't think we were gonna get this deep this quickly and it's also like 10 a.m. on a Monday. We're under a minute in. Wait I have something witchy I want to say too. Okay okay. One of the reasons I think that in my 20s I would go on and off with therapy so much is which is different than in my early 30s. My early 30s it's like I really am so busy like I'm fucking up your schedule with your other clients because of me, like, let's take a minute, let's take a beat for a couple months. In my early 20s, I would fall off because I which now I can recognize.

3:47Hannah Berner: I didn't think my problems were big enough to take up someone's time one hour during the week. Like I felt guilty getting on a zoom and being like, I really didn't have any childhood trauma.

4:03Paige DeSorbo: Like I felt you were like my friend wore a halter top after she saw me wearing a halter top.

4:10Hannah Berner: I felt shame of like, you don't have any issues. But you're supporting a small business regardless. Correct. It didn't take me until my early 30s to be like, you need to be in therapy for that thought alone.

4:27Paige DeSorbo: My problem was the opposite. I couldn't afford therapy in my 20s until I couldn't afford not to. and then every session I would period every set write that down every session I would be like is this worth$200 and then I would start needing therapy to be like I'm stressed about if this is worth it because I need to pay rent and$600 what$800 of therapy a month yeah that's a lot yeah it's a lot a thing came out that it's now stylish to like not brush your hair and now I'm starting to feel like people are just like coming for your brand coming for my brand i mean i grew my hair out you look we have the same hair right now we have the same hair we're merging in the same person we're becoming one and the gigglers still have not gotten a firm answer from you on the socks and sandals outfit i keep getting tagged what socks and sandals outfit i wore that like brown outfit oh yeah to today's show and i don't think you commented and the gigglers are kind of upset

5:35Hannah Berner: because they don't know which way to go okay i apologize i can't give a i can't come up with something witty every time my friend also i had a press tour like it was a lot of stuff to keep up with i love socks and like a heel like that i think it's cunt that's the only word i can describe Like it's just cunty. And there is something about it that feels British. Okay.

5:58Paige DeSorbo: Yes. Cause it's like rainy. So you have to wear a sock when you go out. I do have to warn people though, like a sock with a heel. You're slipping and sliding. I almost tore my ACL three times. You have to have a real grip on your toes. And you can't wait, we have to invent a Pilates sock for a sock.

6:18Hannah Berner: If it just had like a couple little button things on the bottom, it'd be better. I'm surprised that more the inside of more shoes don't have those like heels specifically like in a lot of my like sandal heels if I had those little grippy things at the bottom right where my toes go it'd be so much easier to walk so I know this is so us in four minutes we've come up with a business idea we've talked about our therapy and you want to hear my witchy thing you want to hear my witchy yes over the weekend I went to a wedding I had so much fun granted there were it was like loud events like friday night welcome dinner there was like loud music saturday night wedding obviously loud but my ears were ringing all weekend okay and ever since i was little like if i ever said like my ears are ringing my mom would be like someone's talking

7:08Paige DeSorbo: about you like that like cliche so italian she's like someone's talking shit it's like a cliche

7:15Hannah Berner: whatever i like didn't think anything of it over the weekend Monday morning this morning I wake up and I'm just like so motivated I like wake up at like 8 a.m. I take a shower I put workout clothes on I go for a like 45 minute walk I get a coffee I do some emails I start I'm like okay when are we doing giggly squad I woke up so motivated and rarely on a Monday morning am I motivated takes me to like Tuesday night Wednesday morning you know I'm like, the week has started.

7:46Paige DeSorbo: Thursday, half past noon.

7:50Hannah Berner: I think that my ears were ringing all weekend and someone was talking bad about me. And that's why Monday morning, because my energy is so connected to the universe. I feel like my body woke me up Monday morning motivated because that's what I do. I take negativity and I create positivity. Positivity. And success. And so I feel like that's what happened to me.

8:12Paige DeSorbo: Do you know what's weird? Normally I just send you comedy videos, but my TikTok was bringing me like really like fuck the haters videos. Yeah. I don't know why. And it was like, you know who believes in you more than anyone? The people talking bad about you. And for some reason I was like, I need to send this to Paige. So if you look at your TikTok, it's just me sending you motivational videos against people who don't believe in you. So I love it. We're really on the same page with that. I really love it. But finally, what I do say about therapy is like this is really therapy for us. And I also just have to do a thank you to the Gigglers because my special came out.

8:47Paige DeSorbo: The Gigglers watched it. If you love me, put it on one more time today. But like there's so many people like if I didn't have the Gigglers, like who cares about us? I have the Gigglers. I don't need other people's support. I don't need, you know, fake friends. I don't need industry. Like I just need. You're our Jalen Brunson. okay no someone posted an old you're our comedian jaylen brunson someone posted an old article of like someone making fun of me when i you know left reality tv being like now she's gonna make fart jokes in comedy clubs and it was i think that's a quote taken exactly from you though i

9:27Hannah Berner: did say that no words were changed were they just reporting what they heard the news

9:36Paige DeSorbo: no but when everyone was making fun of me for like this is gonna suck i was like you all created a monster now but yeah it's just the what would we do without the love and support of this community

9:48Hannah Berner: like i met a lot of gigglers this weekend like at airports i mean the gigglers are traveling

9:54Paige DeSorbo: they're traveling they're summering just to get over with i haven't taken my nick shirt off since It's the last podcast. Just kidding. But the next one, and the funniest thing about it was Jalen Brunson looks at the camera and is like, guys, just be safe. Yeah. There were 63 people injured and seven stabbings. And someone commented and said double, double, double, almost a double, double, which is a hilarious basketball joke. But then someone goes, no one died. A win is a win. And the bar is solo for men. they're like yeah a bunch of people got stabbed in times square but no one died

10:34Hannah Berner: did you see the video of the taxi driver that was just like this is my livelihood like i understand that the city is erupting like you could feel like it's moving it's actually i'm like guys we're gonna sink into the hudson like well there were some gay guys that were

10:56Paige DeSorbo: like i thought it was 9-11 again i didn't know there was a game going on i just heard people

11:00Hannah Berner: yelling in the streets there were two guys up on a um like light pole and they started making out no and the comments were like if these were identifying straight men that like and they're like it's not gay if it's because the next one that is so here's okay here's another thing also like don't like the school buses on flat fire like it's really scary i'm so proud of the knicks i'm so proud of the individual players because if there's one thing i'm gonna do while i'm watching a sports game is like i'm gonna just end up looking up like what's their girlfriend like and like what what's their vibe you know and so like you once you said that the one guy's parents passed away, I was like, now I need to look up everyone's lore.

11:52Hannah Berner: I need to look up everyone's lore. Such Ben Stiller is making a documentary, right?

11:58Paige DeSorbo: Yeah. That's why he's walking around horizontal videoing everything.

12:01Hannah Berner: Such good stories for each of like the starting players. But I would be remissed if I did not bring up the number one thing that I thought the entire time at the end of the game, the entire new york knicks organization was wearing matching t-shirts and we love that i will have to point out that they were bedazzled

12:24Paige DeSorbo: the second i saw it i texted you you texted me we were like no one's gonna say anything about this

12:30Hannah Berner: now be you wear whatever style you want what makes you happy i love you like it i love someone at the

12:40Paige DeSorbo: corner office was like what had to make an actual call to be like can we add bedazzles a girl made a tiktok and she said ladies i hate to inform you but we have in fact lost the war

12:57Hannah Berner: men running around in bedazzled shirts hugging and kissing each other and i love i'm not coming on here being a hater of it i love it i'm like yes this is what the men are missing they need to be able to express their feelings this is why girls girls and that's all i'm saying like okay like totally guys like do what you want let's also talk about who actually

13:20Paige DeSorbo: won the championship first of all um we have jordan woods who like with her magical bag and everyone was joking about it and then by the end no one was joking people were like where the

13:31Hannah Berner: fucks the bag and i love that it was her own brand her own brand i love it sells out and i hope that tristan thompson is somewhere having a miserable time that's karmic babe and i love that jordan was like i never needed anyone no i was always that girl and i like that that's entrepreneurship at its finest and then not to name drop but jaylen brunson's wife ali who they've been dating since high school oh i didn't know they've been dating since high school i did watch a video of their wedding though so i missed that i did watch a full recap of their wedding um she

14:16Paige DeSorbo: i did get to their wedding website she's a giggler yes and we've met her we've met her it's fucking insane my favorite part was he gave her the trophy at one point and i don't know if you guys know the shape of the trophy but like she started holding it like a baby and it was so

14:31Hannah Berner: cute and I'm like and that's the mother of the team for Daphne we can like we gift to like a lot of people and we can see when they've been like yes I'll accept this gifting and she accepted

14:45Paige DeSorbo: it like last week and I was just like oh my god a girl's girl Allie you're welcome to come on the pod chat the Knicks yeah a huge huge sports podcast also I have to do women in stem of the week is Sandra's braids she's been braiding a lot of the Knicks hair and Josh Hart in particular she braided it to have like a New York sign on top and the guys like swear by it and they need

15:12Hannah Berner: Sandra to do their hair before I do love the superstition that is involved in sports because it's like oh you guys don't believe in astrology but if you don't wear the same underwear every day okay guys why don't you keep it dazzling your shirts okay we'll be over here also shout out New

15:31Paige DeSorbo: York Liberty they're playing the girls are still playing but um I do think it was a beautiful moment for New York in general just to show like the city coming together people from all different places and stories and us all just sinking with the happiness.

15:49Hannah Berner: Well, also, I think New York City has so much influence over the rest of the country. And so I feel like when we're up. Yeah, we set a tone. We set a certain tone. Yeah. And I really feel like New York City is it is feeling very 2016. It literally was giving 2016. Yeah, I do kind of feel like I just got like out of college and I'm like, let's day drinks. somewhere with a breeze. Yeah. Wait, are we still talking about the next or can we move on? No, we can move on. Okay. Thank you for asking for consent. This girl, this girl made a TikTok and she was like, I have best friend, best friended with my best friend so hard that I know all of her fears, all of her hopes and dreams.

16:34Hannah Berner: Like I know everything about her. And she was like, but I don't know basic things about her. so they spent the night asking and i sat there and i go oh my god gun to my head someone said what's hannah's favorite color i have no fucking idea we could like guess but we've not we don't

16:56Paige DeSorbo: know i have no idea our next thing i'm gonna get into is mormon wives which like might take the whole pod however they're you know macy and mikayla don't hug like they hug everyone else so they look at each other like we don't hug and i was like wait that's so best friend why can't

17:11Hannah Berner: best friends hug i don't know it's because we're like it's because i know too much

17:19Paige DeSorbo: it's like we're so mentally connected that we're like i don't need to touch you it almost feels performative it feels that's why best friends like don't have photos together yeah

17:29Hannah Berner: because i'm like this bit yeah i'm gonna go like it feels like we're making fun of our friendship

17:35Paige DeSorbo: no even on the road when they were like can you guys make a tiktok together we're like

17:40Hannah Berner: with her anytime we're taking pictures and they say look at each other and laugh oh my god we

17:47Paige DeSorbo: physically can't do it it's actually so uncomfy like we don't make eye contact we just talk at each other we only make eye contact when it's like it's like hey look at me i have to tell you

17:59Hannah Berner: something and like it's it's like when we're in a search situation making eye contact where we're

18:04Paige DeSorbo: not speaking exactly but also i was looking at tiktok there's like two types of girls growing up the girls who liked pink and then the girls who like didn't like pink yeah because it was like a statement yes but like that's me and you like i know your favorite color was pink

18:20Hannah Berner: of course hannah i remember i remember the day the girls turned on me they were like you still like pink and I was like first of all purple is for haters like you it's like you want to be pink but you won't commit to it I'll never forget it was in second grade when all of a sudden the girls were like no my favorite color is not pink and I was like and they said purple yeah yeah because

18:42Paige DeSorbo: they you know what it is it's a little pick me to be like I don't like pink well then there'd be like one rogue girl that would be like orange okay call the police I'd be like oh you freak like well I was like fighting the patriarchy so I probably said blue but I didn't feel attached to blue I just knew I didn't want pink and when you start liking pink again it shows like you're healing I personally pink brings out like bad tones in my skin so I personally don't I think I

19:14Hannah Berner: I really like green it's funny that mystic Michaela said that my aura is pink because from a very young age I've actually felt an inanimate object vibe toward the color pink like if I didn't if there was an option to get something and there were all different colors I would feel guilty if I didn't get the pink one yeah because it's because I'd be like that's part of me like that is that's for me even now as an adult if there's like color options everyone always knows Paige is going to want the pink one well you have a pink microphone right now

19:48Paige DeSorbo: because it's cute i really like the ugly green color that dakota johnson's kitchen was like that's my vibe yes but that's also anyway you guys i've been in a k-hole this is a top

20:01Hannah Berner: podcast

20:05Paige DeSorbo: we literally the other day i was opening my fridge and i was like we have a lot of responsibility we so many people are listening to the pod i'm like what do i want to say on the pod tomorrow that will like change humanity and then i was like i want to talk about dakota johnson's color of of

20:18Hannah Berner: her i have not stopped quoting grace's date since i found out about it and all i keep saying is like we're gonna make history i've been leaving the kitchen and saying it like i show um kids say

20:33Paige DeSorbo: the darndest things yeah men say the darndest things needs to be like the next show like please send us all the things that men have said to you and we'll start a segment with it um also it's grace's birthday happy birthday grace yes happy birthday grace our lord and savior

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21:29Hannah Berner: You know sometimes you put dry shampoo on and you can like kind of feel it. You never have to worry about wash day again. So shop at Sephora or get 10 % off your first purchase at k18hair.com with code Giggly. That's code Giggly at k18hair.com. This episode is sponsored by State Farm. Some decisions are tough, like parallel parking or circling the block three more times. One decision that's a no-brainer, choosing State Farm for your coverage. Because at State Farm, they'll help you choose the right coverage at an affordable price with State Farm Personal Price Plan, so you can feel good about all the decisions you make, including finding a valet and handing over your keys.

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25:00Paige DeSorbo: Wayfair, every style, every home. Okay, I've been in a true K-hole with Mormon wives. And look, I know I'm annoying. God forbid I watch something when everyone else is watching it. I have to wait like six years later and then I text Paige. I'm like, wait, this show is really good. Kim Kardashian. How did she do that? Oh, yeah. She's like, have you guys listened to NSYNC?

25:22Hannah Berner: Game of Thrones was like the biggest phenomenon of the whole country. It was like the last time we were actually united as a country was when the season finale was on and people like hated it. I didn't watch the season finale. Three weeks later, Kim Kardashian like comes on Instagram stories and is like, have you guys heard of Game of Thrones? Everyone's like, yeah.

25:41Paige DeSorbo: I'm obsessed with her. So Mormon Wives is one of the best, like it's, it might be better than Vanderpump Rules. A hundred percent. Because for so many reasons, but one positive thing I want to say about it is I've never seen women on TV pregnant going about their life in such a normal way. I feel like whenever someone's pregnant, they're either hiding it or they're like, I'm not going to make it. I'm not going to make it. These girls are just fully pregnant, having fights, talking shit, taking care of their kids, talking about their sex life. It is like I'm learning more about being pregnant than ever before.

26:24Hannah Berner: Yeah, it's they make it feel very like your life doesn't stop. You're just adding like bonus fun to it. Like, what are you talking about? You could do anything with a baby.

26:35Paige DeSorbo: Yeah, there's like nine girls. Someone's always pregnant and they don't even acknowledge it. They're like, oh, it's you today.

26:40Hannah Berner: yeah yeah it's that i don't think people talk about that enough because like what other reality show is really about like the early lives of people like the early relationships of people

26:55Paige DeSorbo: or like when someone is pregnant they're like she's pregnant she can't come she's pregnant these girls are literally like yelling at people's husbands fully pregnant and then all mikayla and Macy do is eat and I'm obsessed they had like a road trip and they stopped to pee like eight times and eat and I'm like that's incredible journalism of what it's like being pregnant in like a funny way and it makes me feel like like I was always so scared of pregnancy in terms of like what do you do you're just like sad and pregnant in a corner yeah these girls are like you can do

27:26Hannah Berner: anything pregnant yeah and I feel like I already have and you too we've already gone to so many functions where people will be like drinking where we're not drinking and i'm like oh okay like i can survive it i think of it as like sorry i'm irish exiting i'm pregnant i'm growing a human god forbid i have to leave and use the bathroom i'm getting a cheese fry yeah like okay what about

27:53Paige DeSorbo: it also now i realize like first of all i'm kind of a mormon wife because they all wear their hair down the middle with waves which you know that's what i ask for then low-key everywhere they go like the one problem with me with reality tv is i actually didn't like drinking and i wasn't good at drinking and but i was in my mid-20s so like you could have convinced me to do anything yeah even though no one asked me to do cocaine which is a whole you can listen to that episode another time but um all these girls go everywhere and they're like we got these mocktails and i'm like fun cute instead i'm the loser that's like whispering the mocktail i want to order and everyone's like what's that what's that what's that and i'm like it's the hibiscus tea like mint and it's really expensive wait it's always the hibiscus it's always the hibiscus with some people love hibiscus love hibiscus and then they're making them like shots and i'm like i want to hang out with these girls because all they're doing is drinking cute fun drinks all this everywhere they go they're like here's your fun drink and don't tell me that like they need alcohol to fight because these girls do not and they're pregnant like how do they have the fucking energy i'm just like so impressed i have so many thoughts well they're young and i'm learning more about mormonism which you guys know like we have a we're obsessed with um do you know what a byu

29:11Hannah Berner: super weekend is a byu super weekend okay so bring them bring up bring them young mr young

29:18Paige DeSorbo: is the college yeah so all of them are mormons in college and a super weekend oh you're gonna

29:25Hannah Berner: love this is a super weekend when you have like mixers and you meet like potentially your husband it has to do with vegas

29:38Paige DeSorbo: when they want to have sex they go to vegas get married have sex and then annul it and then go back home and I said these people are fucking geniuses I'm upset you would have loved to be what you're super

29:55Hannah Berner: that is like rebellion at a 14 year old reading level because what do you mean you're a grown adult well they want to go to heaven they want to go to heaven God created sex I'll never get that if he didn't want you to do it it wouldn't like

30:18Paige DeSorbo: I also, I don't think that God cares about the details that much. No. God's dealing with serious things. He's not going to get into semantics. The nitty gritty of if the penis fully went in. He's going to leave me out of it. Okay, so then they have this thing called docking. Okay. It's like a little gross, but it's basically when, this is how they describe it. They put the hot dog in the bun and just move it, but it doesn't go in anything. What bun? The vaginal labia. So they just like put the dick on top of it. Yeah. And they call it docking. And they just stare at each other. Do what? What do you mean?

30:57Paige DeSorbo: And do what? By the way, all this stuff is freakier than sex, by the way.

31:00Hannah Berner: It's like so much freakier. It's actually 10 times more intimate.

31:06Paige DeSorbo: Imagine going to Vegas, going through a whole ceremony, and then he comes in 13 seconds, because you know these men will, because they're like not watching porn or anything. and then you're like we did a whole we did paperwork for you to come in 13 seconds

31:19Hannah Berner: and you know these girls are an orgasm if i have to match a shoe to an outfit my libido is down i've i've you've ruined the moment how horned up are they and they're all

31:33Paige DeSorbo: doing anal and for an extent they're all doing anal they're all doing anal not all of them

31:40Hannah Berner: okay they're all doing anal they're the freakiest look i fully this is why i love mormonism i believe that you should be able to believe any religion you want at any as long as you're not murdering people like i think you should believe whatever the fuck you want i forgot what i was gonna no i agree and as long as your religion isn't hurting other people well you could argue that any religion is a little bit culty like you could hear something and that's a little culty no i

32:14Paige DeSorbo: would argue all of them yeah all of them i think what's happening to these women is it started to be like a couple things and they're like that's weird yeah but then by the end they're like literally all these rules are like to suppress us and we love god and we love morals but we were

32:31Hannah Berner: talking about this last night that like obviously we think that reality tv is such a the best study of anthropology but mormon house mormon wives is even 10 times better than that because when they do certain things you can exactly pinpoint why so it's like these things have been done to your mom and then she did them to you and now that's how you think and you might do it to your daughter where like the mormon housewives are kind of being like but i am not going to do like I don't think any of those women are going to put the sexual shame on their daughters

33:10Paige DeSorbo: that was put on them a hundred percent like I really don't see them and they're gonna have they're gonna talk to them they're gonna ask like imagine putting your daughter in a room with a man and she doesn't know anything you need to send her in equipped I'm gonna tell her all the bad things to look out for all the good things like I'm sending her in with a fucking checklist did Did you have a sex talk with your mom?

33:34Hannah Berner: Yeah. Like, because Lenore is a principal, I like, did she, I wonder if she had like a strategic.

33:41Paige DeSorbo: Well, this is the thing. I was a huge prude because I just cared about tennis and I was the oldest of the family. So I didn't have like older sisters or older brothers telling me things. Like, I remember being a sleepover and someone's like, so-and-so's horny. And I was like, do they need to get that check? Like, are there bumps? Like, I thought they meant they had like horns coming out of their skin. and I was like I remember the first time someone said 69 and I was like no like yeah my mom literally like it was she'd laugh because I was the last to find out everything

34:10Hannah Berner: and she's like you're such a fucking loser no but that's very sweet and yeah she didn't have to at

34:17Paige DeSorbo: one point she was like do you want to talk to a boy yeah when I dated my super religious football player that I talk about in the special we did have a moment he literally was like you have to come to Bible study with me or like I don't feel like you're like a good enough person and I was like wait but I'm I'm trying to make good decisions and be kind to people just out of my heart not because someone's telling me to exactly and you like his brain like exploded I'm like you don't actually need someone to tell you to be a good person that's just how I was raised and what I'm

34:47Hannah Berner: trying to be I feel like people that are bad people like really really bad people they know like they know they're bad people because like if something happens in front of you and your immediate reaction isn't like to help that person or check on that person you're you're a bad person

35:07Paige DeSorbo: but also i do think religion really helps people yeah in terms of a lot of ways but i just don't like when people did anyone see giggly squad discussing religion this is a crazy this is a life-based podcast um would you consider yourself what's your religion no like honestly so i say that i'm um agnostic which means i'm not saying i don't believe anything i just like know that i

35:39Hannah Berner: don't know what's happening but what were you did like did you make your confirmation no did you make

35:47Paige DeSorbo: your first holy communion yes yes yeah i had a little dress um but my parents wanted us to be raised like knowing about a lot of different religions but like my class was so diverse like

35:58Hannah Berner: so you've never been like oh i'm catholic or oh i'm jewish or you i would joke that like i'm half

36:05Paige DeSorbo: and half but like we weren't really celebrating much it was mostly my italian nana being like it's Christmas and I'm like this is fucking awesome yeah also my Nana wanted me to text let you guys know when the Knicks won the other game I said everyone was asleep my Nana and Papa

36:22Hannah Berner: were awake and I called them Papa saw the one in the 70s Nana and Papa been awake Nana and Papa

36:29Paige DeSorbo: stay up they party do they oh yeah Nana's up on her Instagram responding to people's DMs

36:36Hannah Berner: wait now i'm like what is nana's schedule if you had to pinpoint a time that she's resting her head on a pillow like 11 p.m late like my parents are asleep by 10 nana's 11 30

36:48Paige DeSorbo: sending me dms no way and what time do you think she's waking up good question i know that she wakes up she does the exercises then she calls rosemary and they they gossip you think she's

37:01Hannah Berner: waking up at like 7 a.m or like 9 30 i don't think 9 30 no i think she's awake i don't know i guess

37:08Paige DeSorbo: yeah i feel like you need less hours wait i need to know nana's schedule we need to know what we might have to get her on yeah um oh my final thing that the mormons say i guess they don't say god so they say oh my hell oh my hell i didn't pick up on that they love saying oh my hell and i'm like that doesn't come off the tongue easy oh my hell but like when you're raised where everyone's saying oh my hell that's just what they say oh my god hits a lot a lot harder i say oh my god literally

37:37Hannah Berner: every other sentence but like they don't say god's name in vain the wedding i went to this weekend the i think she was the maid of honor whatever she spoke for the bride she started she would know she was doing a prayer she started it out dear god me again like said her name like she's leaving a voicemail hey i just thought it was like so cute and like fun like she found a way to make the prayer like she had to get up in front of everyone she found a way to like make it a little funny she's like some other people are you're on speaker i just thought it was so cute no i love that also by the way i pray do you okay interesting like not fully committed but

38:23Paige DeSorbo: every now and then I just have a moment where like honestly I pray when something good happens to me when something good happens I just go thank you whoever do you say okay so I was gonna say do you say dear God or like I feel like I say that I'm like God Jesus whoever you are you're my girl thank you like when something really good happens I feel like euphoric I always feel like there's like yeah something going on that's bigger than me and I like to acknowledge like that this was not just me or it's just like thanking life you know like thank you life for this moment and then like in two seconds I'm annoyed with something right it's very I do feel I I would classify myself as like pretty religious no I know yeah my blonde best friend Haley Nicola Haley's like super religious Haley's very religious but I love having friends who have different like perspectives than I do because it's 100 % no no you're super religious also Also, Kim prays for the success of Giggly Squad every day.

39:24Hannah Berner: And that's why we're here. Kim prays all the time. You got any prayers thrown? I told you the story when I like went through her prayer journal one time. Just prayer journal. Oh, my God. Yeah. We were like, where were we were somewhere together? Oh, no, I think she was just like at my apartment. Of course she does.

39:40Paige DeSorbo: Because she's Kim Shakespeare de Sorbo with her feather pen.

39:43Hannah Berner: And I'm just like, no, her handwriting is so good. And I'm just like going through her prayer journal. And all I see is like, Gary, Gary. and I'm like oh wait you can't go through a prayer journal it's like going through her literal are you kidding Hannah I've been crazy from a young age I used to I used to go through my own dad's phone like when he got a cell phone I'd be like yeah let me see and I would go through his own text messages and when I'll never forget one day asking my mom like do you ever go through dad's phone and she was like no why would I you do it for me wait so she's on your email you're on gary's phone plan we know no peace at that house we know everyone knows everything about everyone is russia the second my brother leaves her house she's on the phone she goes you'll never guess what he said we're we all we do is talk about the four of each four of us with each

40:40Paige DeSorbo: other see my dad like still can't figure out how to post an instagram story so my mom and i literally are like, how does he even use his phone?

40:48Hannah Berner: The one day my dad like deleted a text and I go, why'd you delete that? That was like a new conversation. And he got like confused and he was like, well, it said I had no storage left anymore. And I was like, okay, you're lucky. Cause I was like, oh, you learned how to delete a text message. Like what was in the conversation?

41:06Paige DeSorbo: Who taught you that? Someone cooked here. And he was like, what? Also, I saw a TikTok from... Trixie Mattel who's randomly like David Attenborough talking about birds how scientists did a study where they let birds FaceTime each other so like a bunch of birds the birds are FaceTiming each other and using their little tongues and they're calling like the ones that are calling more birds are getting more calls back so like they have like a full social system they're recognizing like different birds yes these birds birds are literally like key keying on facetime they're like they have best friends what kind of birds it was it looks like a like it wasn't a parrot but it was like a parakeet type thing i don't know like okay yeah yeah they literally like there's bonding with each other they're like picking the birds they like more they're bullying each other but like they're recognizing the birds owners like it's birds are really out here being smart as fuck and that's why I'm like are the pigeons okay like these pigeons are not give getting what

42:14Hannah Berner: they need to be the best versions of themselves my aunt Pam used to have a pet parakeet and her name was lovey and she she was like this is my favorite pet like I've literally ever had like it was like the sweetest bird ever and this is like really morbid but one day I asked her like how I mean the bird was alive for like maybe like seven years maybe 10 I don't know this was years ago this we're going back like 20 years ago and one day I really wanted to know how she knew it died and she said that it was literally standing on its perch and it just

42:54Hannah Berner: no because it's not funny it's not funny and it's not funny I'm not making fun of the death of

43:01Paige DeSorbo: animals giving shrek when she starts singing really high and the bird pops no wait now i want

43:07Hannah Berner: a bird butter would be like are you fucking kidding me like butter would have to murder the

43:13Paige DeSorbo: bird that's like in their nature this is how deep in our friendship i am i woke up i had a dream that me you daphne and butter were hanging out and then i looked and but and daphne was bleeding and i was like oh my god and i'm petting i'm like daphne's bleeding and you were like are you sure and I'm like Butter, Butter scratched her and I'm like, how did you talk to Butter? I said, Butter, she has an agent. She has a manager. She has a team. You're going to get sued. You can't act this way. I know she probably said something that pissed you off but like you're going to get in trouble now.

43:45Hannah Berner: Her hind legs are actually insured. Like Jayla's butt. There's nothing I love more than seeing someone come into my home and see that I have honest flushable wipes in the bathroom because honestly, anything can happen in there and I feel confident knowing honest can handle it. I always keep them stocked because they make me feel so much cleaner and more comfortable than just regular toilet paper. And I love that they're safe for my sensitive areas and safe to flush, so I don't have to worry about my pipes either. What really makes Honest Flushable Wipes different is that they're made with a plant-based cloth, so you're not just putting anything on your body.

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44:34Paige DeSorbo: As you guys know, Butter is my literal everything. I would do anything for her and I would do anything to extend her life, okay? I can't even look at her and think about that she's eight years old right now. No, I don't even like to think of her age ever. Anyway, then I discovered Smalls. smalls is a fresh cat food brand made for cats and only cats it's high in protein low in carbs high in moisture mimicking what cats eat in the wild and supporting their overall health because more years isn't enough i want them to live their best lives so if i can make sure that butter's nutrition is at its best that's the least i can do as a mother butter loves her smalls i give it to her in the morning and night and snacks and for a limited time get 60 off your first order plus free shipping when you head to smalls.com slash giggle.

45:24Paige DeSorbo: That's smalls.com promo code giggle for 60 % off your first order. That's a lot, guys. Go feed your kitties.

45:32Hannah Berner: This episode of Giggly Squad is brought to you by FIFA World Cup meal at McDonald's. World Cup season just got a whole lot more fun. Right now at McDonald's, when you order the FIFA World Cup meal, you get one of nine legendary collectible cups. And we're talking legends. Christian Polisic, David Beckham, Thierry Henry, Alphonso Davies, and everyone's favorite purple player, Grimace. The girlies are collecting all nine and that is final. Order the FIFA World Cup meal at McDonald's all tournament long this summer and see which legend you get. There are nine cups total so you have a very good excuse to keep going back.

46:11Hannah Berner: We will be there every week. At participating McDonald's for a limited time while supplies last. All rights reserved. 2026. McDonald's at FIFA World Cup 2026. This episode of Giggly Squad is sponsored by Haagen-Dazs. You know that feeling when you've been going non-stop and you finally just sit down and everything gets quiet for a second? That's the energy Haagen-Dazs is giving and I'm so here for it. They just dropped a brand new flavor made to be savored. There's the new coffee almond toffee ice cream. It's Brazilian coffee ice cream, buttery toffee pieces, crunchy California almonds. The coffee ice cream is deep, smooth, and toffee brings the warm buttery sweetness and the almonds give you that satisfying crunch with every spoonful.

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47:19Paige DeSorbo: I'm also on a crazy algorithm. Have you seen the Jojo Siwa cruise?

47:24Hannah Berner: No.

47:26Paige DeSorbo: Paige, I watched one video and now I'm getting everyone's TikToking from the Jojo Siwa cruise. Where is it?

47:33Hannah Berner: Like, what's the route?

47:35Paige DeSorbo: I don't know the route, but I do have to say the reviews are incredible. Like, 10 out of 10, everyone's like, this is the greatest cruise of my life. Wait, that makes me so happy for her. I think it's because it's not, like, that many people. So JoJo Siwa is literally, like, talking to everyone. Like, they're giving each other gifts. Like, it's like this community. And these are not, like, these are, like, 30-year-old girls going on this cruise. And they just love JoJo Siwa. They're getting the best gift bags. Well, they grew up with her.

48:04Hannah Berner: Exactly. They watch Dance Moms, yeah.

48:06Paige DeSorbo: And they talk about how, like, JoJo gets so much online hate, so to see her doing what she loves is so beautiful. And you know what? Hell yeah.

48:14Hannah Berner: Hell yeah. That makes me really happy for her. Yeah. My algorithm is I keep getting two nuns. Oh, with the podcast? Yeah.

48:23Paige DeSorbo: Sister, what's your favorite hobby?

48:25Hannah Berner: Sister, I don't have a hobby.

48:27Paige DeSorbo: I was like, wait. Sister, I've seen you playing Ultimate Frisbee,

48:32Hannah Berner: and sister you are good i literally stopped and was like this is me and hannah in a different time imagine if we were nuns there's a difference between sisters and nuns i didn't know that what's the difference one legitimately devotes their entire life to praying for you like there are there and i think that's a nun i'm gonna make sure though like there are nuns somewhere right now in a church praying for like you like they pray for everyone like that is their job there's factories of prayer where they're mass producing prayer there's like the sheen of prayer it's like a clickbait farm it's but it's like a click for prayer i love how you're like religion is my whole life no idea between a nun and a sister yeah i had no idea there was a different A nun lives cloistered, which is like focused on just prayer.

49:34Hannah Berner: And then a sister lives an active life. So like if you had a teacher, they're a sister, which I did not know that.

49:42Paige DeSorbo: But it sounds like it's a little rectangle square.

49:45Hannah Berner: A nun takes solemn vows. A sister takes simple vows. So like a solemn vow. Can a sister have a boyfriend? No, neither of them can. Okay. so like if you're a sister you have a you live a regular life you go have a job but if you're a

50:00Paige DeSorbo: nun you're all about prayer i would love some stats of like how many people their entire life are part of the sisterhood is that what they call it

50:12Hannah Berner: sisterhood of the traveling pants and they also have a traveling skirt that they send back and forth to each other no i wonder like if you become a sister or a nun i wonder how many of them do it for a certain amount of years and then are like see ya yeah like I wonder like what

50:30Paige DeSorbo: if I wanted to like be a sister for a year like page and how to try new things I think I actually

50:35Hannah Berner: I want to say that I graduated high school I'm gonna have to ask Stephanie but I want to say that I graduated high school and a girl went to the nunhood yeah to the nunnery like went to the nunnery I think my mom actually might have like even thought to get you to be a nun no thought

50:53Paige DeSorbo: about it like for herself i feel like i have to ask i feel like every there was an age for italian women where it's like you become a nun or you get married which one do you want there was no in between yeah they were like choose jesus or a guy named joe my second grade teacher was her name was

51:11Hannah Berner: sister sheila and she hated me

51:18Hannah Berner: she hated me so much she was so mean i'm not kidding she was so mean to me i was like stupid so i didn't know when people were being mean to me i'd have to go home and tell my mom about it

51:28Paige DeSorbo: wait that's kind of like me and you though i feel like i get home from something and i tell you how someone talked to me and you were like and you didn't say anything back what hold on

51:40Hannah Berner: say verbatim what they said to you no so many times it's funny with our friendship because like obviously we're from reality tv so like i've seen whole dissertations about you like on the internet before and like like there are so many things that i've wanted to comment where i was like i will come to your home and kill you i do say one thing i'm not a fighter like my family never

52:05Paige DeSorbo: fought i'm not fighting with my brother i don't fight with people i don't fight with my friends i'm i'm more of like i i run away from any conflict the only fights i've had is like on the tennis court which is like that's just you're not confrontational no so like on tv those were like the only fights i've ever had in my life which is why i think when like a man would yell at me i'd be like does anyone else see this this is crazy i was like i've never been spoken to You're like, this is my, this is insane. This is crazy.

52:33Hannah Berner: Where I feel like people have been mean to me my whole life.

52:37Paige DeSorbo: Like when someone yelled at me, I was like, oh, I'm calling the police. I'm calling the police.

52:43Hannah Berner: Yes. Like if there's a woman now, we're women, that's mean to me, I'm like, you're not my first mean girl. Like think of something new. Like you are not my first situation where like you're being a bitch to me. where I feel like for you when we were on reality tv there were a lot of things where you're like that's my first that's my first time and I'm and I'm fighting with seasoned veterans okay like I

53:11Paige DeSorbo: remember the first time I had approached someone about something I was shaking yeah and then but also I've also been like bullied a lot growing up like we're similar in different ways we're like yeah people talk shit on me for sure but my dad was always like speak with your racket like yeah with your it was very like do not address the haters like i've never had to sit in a room and like talk to someone who i knew like wanted to destroy me yeah yeah where like i when i see if

53:37Hannah Berner: i see like a rumor about myself or like something that's just like categorically false or whatever i'm like yeah like people have been making up rumors about me since i was in sixth grade like and you've like confronted people yeah and i'm just like yeah i've never confronted but also i haven't too i'm like so it depends yeah there's sometimes where i'm like well i don't even know you so why would i confront but that's why it feels so performative because there's like cameras

54:03Paige DeSorbo: everywhere and you're like let's see how this goes and then you're like oh and even like boyfriends i never fought with boyfriends it was more like no i've made a whole sport of it page when i tell you like yeah i've had i've definitely had my fights but it was it was like someone would get up and leave there was never like name calling it never would escalate and it would be like it

54:26Hannah Berner: would happen once or twice and i'm like and i'm done here yeah or like someone would get mad and

54:32Paige DeSorbo: the other one wouldn't yeah it's like our friendship like how many times have me and you off camera never never

54:49Hannah Berner: here's the thing i do think that you get to a certain amount of years with a friend that like you just can't do it anymore like wait you both have to bow out you know we're like we're at a point where like for us to not be friends again we would have to do something to the other one diabolical that's so

55:12Paige DeSorbo: fucking crazy that it would be a someone would be like trying to self-sabotage something yes like in a but i would argue because we're so close that it would be as there would be a sit down and we'd be like we'd catch it are you okay yeah what's going on yeah also we can just it is really a relationship where it's two people it's like if we didn't want to make this work we could have ended it immediately totally like we choose each other wait i was at a wedding every fucking

55:41Hannah Berner: day you heard the vows you thought of me there was a moment where uh she was like someone was saying something and i was like and in my head i thought that's true of friendship also you raise your hand you're like sorry real quick no because it actually is very true of friendship you have to actively choose that person every day and be like that is my friend and I'm going to treat her

56:04Paige DeSorbo: like my friend period and it's almost like Mormon wives where I like to watch to see like who starts hating people like who's the villain and I realize like the villain is who just everyone decides they're over because if you look at what actually was done like so many things were done by so many people but it's the thing that everyone decides being like that's a thing that we're not

56:24Hannah Berner: forgiving you for because no one wanted to like that person well everyone's done bad things before and everyone's been mean to someone everyone's made someone feel hurt like you're alive that's like what it is supposed to be experiencing life it's how you change or if someone says you hurt my feelings it's how you apologize and don't do it again like that is a whole part of life you're supposed to make mistakes so that you become a better fucking person in these shows

56:51Paige DeSorbo: like people will straight up apologize and people like I don't believe you but then someone else will apologize and they're like we know we love you and yeah that's why also in like a reunion when the girls are yelling at each other I'm like but you did that to her too but you're yelling at

57:05Hannah Berner: her about it right right well reality tv has to be hypocritical because then they wouldn't have a show like everyone can't have the same stance and storyline every year you have to switch it up or else it would be boring so a lot of the things people get in trouble for they they've done

57:24Paige DeSorbo: the accuser has done it just rotates it literally rotates um there is a crazy documentary out on hbo right now called paradise p-e-a-r and it's this guy who during covid

57:46Hannah Berner: sorry anytime someone brings up pears i think of rick ross and i just sorry there's just a video of rick ross i'm not kidding this is like 15 years old and he just says shout out to all the pears like like an actual pear like he's like i love pears and anytime someone talks about pears i I just think like all the pears are so underrated. Like I love a green pear. You know, I'm not someone to grab a pear from a fruit basket and bite.

58:16Paige DeSorbo: Arguably the best bite is the fat part of a pear.

58:18Hannah Berner: Like I probably haven't bit into a pear in 15 years.

58:23Paige DeSorbo: This is an old pear. That I left on my podcast desk from two days ago.

58:31Hannah Berner: Wow.

58:32Paige DeSorbo: Are you eating a lot of fruit during the day? No, I went, I'm like at home for like a week. So I tried to go grocery shopping and I bought like tons of fruit and I got home and I ate a pear and that was about it. Wow. I never buy pears.

58:45Hannah Berner: Interesting.

58:45Paige DeSorbo: Okay. Keep going with what you're saying. So this guy during COVID, he's like this nerd from Berlin and he goes to America and he decided he wanted to get rich. So he invents this thing, you know, this is so bougie, but you know, I guess convertibles, you can't put your convertible up while you're moving yeah so he invented something to help whatever he's got the rich people can't can't stop in motion yeah so he buys this mansion in vegas and he starts telling people i love plus size women okay and i created this thing called paradise p-e-a-r he thought he was like so slick for it and he's like i want to create a community where women can be themselves and i want to be your friend come live with me and he's he's has this obsession with women who are like over six feet and over 500 pounds like that's his like type

59:44Hannah Berner: so these girls who have felt over 500 pounds are there that many people that he's finding that are

59:51Paige DeSorbo: over 500 pounds well with the tiktok algorithm it's like these girls who have felt like outsiders and low self-esteem are like this guy is creating community where i'm the norm so you walk in and all the girls have the same body type and i mean they're all so funny they're all gorgeous i'm like funny he found like the most beautiful women and over time people are like he's a creep um and then there's this concept called feederism are you aware of feederism no okay i actually wasn't that familiar but it's actually like really dangerous but it's like a kink where men like to watch i don't know if it's just men and women but people like to watch people eat and have their body change so like they get turned on by women eating and their stomach getting bigger to the point they want the person to eat so much that they like can't walk wait this wait this feels really illegal this feels like a weird type of abuse but these girls can go on these sites sites and make money where men will watch them eat and like get bigger but then girls can die from feederism because they're like need money but then they're eating so much that their body shuts down oh yeah so anyway that's on hbo

1:01:17Hannah Berner: it's crazy it's crazy anyway if you're trying to take the edge off tonight maybe throw that on um okay we really today was weird i feel weird you feel weird but that's a good way it was really weird wait the last thing and then we'll leave it on that tyra bank suing netflix did you

1:01:45Paige DeSorbo: see that i feel like she should do her own documentary right instead of fighting with Netflix because that has to be expensive. I'm just interested to follow the story. She's suing them for defamation. It's annoying because she was in it. So that's why she probably feels like she can't just do it on her own. But I would argue like, yeah, do your own. We'll watch. Let's let's hear your side. All I do is watch TV. So, yeah, send it to me. Her argument was like J. Manuel was saying, like, I didn't visit him in the hospital. And she was like, I lived in Australia?

1:02:21Hannah Berner: Well, Kelly Catrone was on a podcast recently and I saw a bunch of clips on TikTok and she was like, are you kidding? You're going to make a documentary about how Tyra was awful. She gave you relevance, jobs, full careers, and you're going to sit and make a documentary about how she didn't like, I mean, she was really team Tyra and really against J.

1:02:46Paige DeSorbo: Emanuel. I do think too, it's easy to be like Tyre is the worst and everyone else were like innocent angels that were just like along for the ride and it's like that's not that's never the case lastly I just want to let you guys know you apparently you could reorder your grid on Instagram have you seen this? no is that true though? I have it on mine that like but I don't love it because it's like too many options like I feel like you are going to be like obsessed with it and like changing your grid every five

1:03:14Hannah Berner: minutes can we hang up and can you like FaceTime me how you're doing that because I need to know that immediately you created a monster so you're

1:03:22Paige DeSorbo: gonna like no like you're never gonna be available again sorry I have to go I have to go reorganize

1:03:29Hannah Berner: my grid sorry I'm working on my grid right now someone dm me and was like your grid's really

1:03:33Paige DeSorbo: good right now and I was like period period we love you guys so much thanks for giggling and have an amazing week. Bye.

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1:04:37Paige DeSorbo: Some may not see improved scores or approval odds. Not all lenders use credit information impacted by Experian Boost. See Experian.com for details.