Giggling about reality tv, family feuds, and flare ups

0:00Paige DeSorbo: I tell myself, it's not about comparing. But then I start wondering, what can they lift? Are they adding more weight to their barbell than I am? And suddenly, I'm not training. Then I realize, my journey is not theirs. I've earned every step. So I smile. My smile is the shape resilience takes to keep me moving. To put more smiles out into the world, Colgate has supported female athletes for over 50 years with the Colgate Women's Games, the nation's longest-running indoor track and field series for girls and women. Colgate, your smile is your strength. We're partnering with Abercrombie for the launch of their new spring collection.

0:36Paige DeSorbo: I need a wardrobe that can handle a busy week in the city and go straight to a weekend getaway. Abercrombie's newest drop is full of dresses, sweaters, and layers that effortlessly do both. The piece that's stealing the show from me is their new reversible trench coat. It's a classic navy on one side and a coastal plaid on the other. The perfect spring staple. Get your closet ready for a full season of plans. Shop Spring at Abercrombie & Fitch in the app online and in stores.

1:06Hannah Berner: Sup, gigglers. Harriet, fix the Wi-Fi. Manifest that shit. We can't be managed.

1:15Hannah Berner: I mean, the day just got away from me.

1:20Paige DeSorbo: Hello, my glorious gigglers.

1:22Hannah Berner: I have a lot of things on my dog.

1:24Paige DeSorbo: So much to talk about. and can i just say people were like are you gonna have enough to talk about with two episodes a week and i'm like we've been holding back we've been holding back now we can open the fucking flood

1:36Hannah Berner: gates let's go what do you have one weekend where we haven't spoken and it's like i have eight business ideas we're literally and we haven't seen each other we're like two coke heads that got together no we're literally two coke heads that got together on a friday night when we haven't seen each other for a week we're like should we start a business like i don't know what

1:57Paige DeSorbo: coke is like but i'd imagine this is it we had some drama today i've been waiting to sound off you're on the boots journalism for the victoria beckham family um what would you call it massacre family feud yeah bring in steve harvey um i want everyone is waiting to hear your take

2:19Hannah Berner: okay so i was on a set today so i was in the perfect conducive situation for when this dropped to talk i was in the glam room i read it aloud to everyone i actually got complimented on my reading so take that guys okay they you're literally they're getting paid by you continue you not true i went full brooklyn beckham mode um oh you went british yeah yeah i did first thing i want to say that um before we really get into the meat of it was this was a really stupid thing on my part but when i'm reading it i thought oh british people spell mom m-u-m now i was under the impression that's just how they said it yeah i didn't know they spelled it like i thought they spelled it mom but they just said mom no they go full mom i was like wait you guys just changed

3:27Paige DeSorbo: the whole word though but dad is dad that's true it's short for mommy mommy which is mommy we're thrown so honestly i was we were unable to really understand we couldn't get past that

3:41Hannah Berner: my reading comprehension definitely dwindled after the first mom because i was like

3:46Paige DeSorbo: i feel like i can't take a guy seriously when he calls his mom mom is that offensive to the british community it just i'm like it's i'd rather him say mother i just i just didn't know that's how they spelled it it's like a girl saying daddy now but we digress okay let me first and foremost

4:07Hannah Berner: say victoria beckham till i die okay well i was gonna say till i die page is kind of like related

4:13Paige DeSorbo: slash very good friends with this so she's gonna have a biased take but anyway continue i always

4:20Hannah Berner: have a friend's back and victoria is no different to me so i have her back on this one with that That said, obviously I am not estranged from my family, but I can imagine that if that is. You're like, but I imagine it every day.

4:39Paige DeSorbo: I think about what if I just press the block button.

4:44Hannah Berner: If I told my mom and dad I was going no contact with them, they'd say, great, we'll come too. Like, they would be like, what? They go, who are we blocking?

4:53Paige DeSorbo: The call is coming from inside the house, mom.

4:55Hannah Berner: Yeah, contact where? we'll contact you so anyway but I can imagine that if you are feeling that way like there's obviously some truth to what he's saying if he he felt that like that he needed to put this out on Instagram do I think that the Beckham family likes a photo op of their family and there's some type of press like yeah I'm sure now there were a couple parts that I was like that's interesting bringing Mark Anthony into it what did Mark Anthony do to be brought in to this situation and I know he's talking about he was talking about his actual wedding and that Mark Anthony was supposed to introduce him and his wife for the first time and it was actually a dance with him in Victoria now when I got to that part I said hmm now this is written the way I would have written it so in my head i was like okay this possibly could be his wife which i don't fault either because i think like if you're married yeah that's my husband like i have his

6:01Paige DeSorbo: back that's my wife i have her back you think she wrote it and he was like we gotta just change it to mom so people think i said it like it's literally her and then he's like mom um yeah I've never seen a straight man post that many paragraphs about something True And I especially think But he is British and they love the English language So he could be like a Shakespearean novelist for all I know It was giving Prince Harry I'm Leaving the Monarchy

6:29Hannah Berner: Like that was the vibe I was getting

6:31Paige DeSorbo: Well they are like royalty That family So I do think it was weird that Mark Anthony was catching strays It almost was giving like when you're see you in court where it's like you mentioned someone. So then they have to like say their part, you know. Speaking of fucking see you in court, guess who got goddamn jury duty? No. I was a giggler at the DOJ. Literally, there's someone down at.

6:58Hannah Berner: Yeah, I'm fucking pissed.

6:59Paige DeSorbo: Someone was like, oh, you want to make fun of us? Yeah. You want to make fun of us? You motherfuckers. Do you want to make fun of us? You know, it's hilarious.

7:06Hannah Berner: down at the god goddamn soho court i will show up there and i will no i'm not going to threaten a government building that's really terrifying let's calm down well look honestly you said see

7:18Paige DeSorbo: you in court enough that they're like cool see you there you know what actually do a civic duty that's fucking crazy no i'm actually pissed back to brooklyn yeah i want to say i think there's multiple truths to a lot of stories like so many things can be true i could totally see him getting annoyed that his family's like can you please support us in all these ventures and he's like they're so annoying and then you didn't support this i it is interesting though because it did go around like that um his wife was the bad person for not like wearing victorious beckham's dress he said that she pulled out okay here's one thing that i think we should dive dive into because I think this is very pertinent typically I feel like there's how many siblings there's four

8:08Hannah Berner: of them so I mean is it a coincidence that all of the other siblings are kind of like we don't fuck with you either like are they like just going blindly with blindly with the parents or is Brooklyn like being crazy and they're like what's going on with you well this is what I

8:27Paige DeSorbo: don't like i don't like family drama and relationship drama you know when you like you love two people but they're like horrible to each other and they're telling you stories and you're like you're both fucking crazy like that's how i feel in this like this is family drama that is their shit and it should not be aired granted he's basically saying they keep coming for me in the press yeah and he's had enough yeah but i i don't i just feel like the family stuff no one's good or bad it's like this is deep like layers of family trauma that they're working through just

9:01Hannah Berner: like one fight this is like years and years exactly and it's like you know when you talk

9:06Paige DeSorbo: to a couple that broke up and someone says something and you're like that's fucking valid and then the other person says something you're like very valid you guys are not except when i break up with someone yeah a hundred percent they're not a hundred percent by the way we are drinking our dunkin refreshers oh my god so good because this is a late episode and we both been working all day actually i was shopping and i've been literally working all day no like are you okay you try being an influencer actually this happened like two weeks ago but i forgot to bring

9:39Hannah Berner: it up because i think it's so funny though did you see that scooter do you know you know that scooter brawn and sydney sweeney are dating right yeah they had that like central park photo shoot yes who could forget um did you see that he came out and he was like i think it's he came out finally he goes i think it's like really rude and offensive that like professional athletes are dming my girlfriend like when they know we're together the audacity of like what dude that yes because everyone in the world is just gonna respect you that you're first of all

10:16Paige DeSorbo: you're not married second of all those football players are not your friends they're nice to you because you're rich they're not your friends they don't respect you and they will steal your girl

10:25Hannah Berner: if you if you slip up such a funny like that's such a classic guy like hey i don't like that so don't do it it's like okay well the world doesn't work like that also i love that sydney

10:38Paige DeSorbo: sweeney is telling him which guys are dming her good for her make him mad no we didn't break that down more actually i've probably never not told a guy if someone dm me because like we have one life

10:52Hannah Berner: we have one life celebrate it the only time i haven't is like where i'm where i'm like i'm not gonna say this because he's just like he'll get in his head about it but i keep it in my back pocket because anytime i'm like oh my god look who just like dm'd me wants to go on a date i don't say if

11:10Paige DeSorbo: it's like an ex-boyfriend that's like annoying it's more like to yeah to piss them off yeah get

11:15Hannah Berner: a little pep in their step yeah make them know let them know there's people in line um okay my next um yeah i'm looking down um kim kardashian i don't know why she would do this to me but she came out did you see the shoes she came out with in nike did i see my dms were flooded

11:36Paige DeSorbo: and i think i think you you might be a little perturbed because i'm perturbed kim kardashian

11:41Hannah Berner: might be a little hannah coated not only was it a mary jane sneaker it was a freaking tabby mary jane do you know what a tabby is it's a cat um yes i absolutely it's the shoes that like have um like the toe is cut out like it looks like your toes like a hoof it looks like a hoof I love an ugly lamp and I love an ugly shoe and I support that shoe with my life so I've never been a fan of the tabby I feel like it's a little gen like my assistant has a tabby but she looks like cute and cool in it like yeah I don't love them for myself but a Mary Jane tabby I think is diabolical I think I think what Kim Kardashian did was diabolical can I say something about trends

12:31Paige DeSorbo: though if every cool influencer was wearing it you would

12:42Paige DeSorbo: i've been shot wait that was the meanest thing i've ever said to you she's speechless she doesn't even have a witty remark back she's did i do something to you no have i offended you in some way no i'm saying you're you are being socially what you said you're being socially constructed to think certain things are beautiful when beauty is in the eye of the beholder anywho well are you okay we just had a flare-up

13:19Hannah Berner: we just had a full flare-up on a monday i worked a whole fucking eight hour a day and I don't need to come home to this shit. We're literally a married couple.

13:29Paige DeSorbo: You're like, I've been working and I just wanted some peace and quiet and calmness not to get attacked in my own fucking home. With that said, I think you're also triggered because you know where I am right now. I'm in Colorado and I have to tell you, I performed in the Denver Theater, the scene of the crime. If anyone doesn't remember, you could listen to the episode. Paige had a panic attack in so many words.

13:54Hannah Berner: You know what Hannah did? My sweet, sweet friend. She sent me a panorama video of the green room and said, Paige, it was right over there where you lost your shit.

14:05Paige DeSorbo: So these theaters, there's a guy who, like, produces it. And this guy does all the Colorado shows. So, again, the car and I realized this is the same guy as that show. But he's, like, so nice. I need to never see any of these people ever again. He's, like, welcome back. And I'm, like, so great to be here. I missed it here. Paige says hi. and then I get to the green room and honestly I did start feeling like a little headache I think I was dehydrated and there's no air in Denver so there's no air I texted him and he comes down he's like can I get you anything I said is possible just get like a little Advil or something and he's like sure sure and he like runs and grabs and he comes back and he goes is everything okay

14:47Hannah Berner: and i'm like no they have a file on us they have a literal file he literally was like are you good

14:54Paige DeSorbo: i'm like no no we're good and he started laughing he's like i just can never forget your agent trying to like nicely talk to page and say it's okay if she doesn't want to go on stage and then you basically like kicking her onto the stage and i said that's what friends are for i'm not here with your fucking soft you know motivation you don't have a friend that takes you out of your comfort zone what's the point what is the point then in my travels as you guys know I'm on tour um without Paige which is so weird so I'm just doing dumb shit alone with Allie do you know when the plane is really small so even though you have a small bag um a small luggage it still might not fit and my luggage you know when you accidentally open the wrong zipper and it like expands the luggage yeah and obviously I'm not organized enough to be like I should zipper this and like compress it again so I'm with my fully out zipped luggage and I get there and I'm like the first one to put it in everyone's waiting for me and it can't go in and the lady's like looking at me and I look at her I'm like can I just could you just sneak this back and she goes we don't really do coats here and I said okay um and in my head I know for a fact because it's so full the only way to get to zip is for me to sit on it and i'm like i'm not do in a public in the middle of the plane putting my bag down sitting on it and trying to zip around like that's while everyone's like waiting to board literally so i'm panicking and i just start letting people go past me i'm just sitting i mean you have my bag yeah ali comes in my little angel savior and i'm like panicking and she's like put it on the ground put it on the ground she stands on it and then i zipper it under her and we're dying laughing everyone is like who let these girls on and then i had to like everyone's just staring at me the whole flight so you have a new wife no okay well that's what it sounds like no but she was supportive in a time of need however you would have just pointed

16:48Hannah Berner: a laugh at me i would have been like what do you want me to do but i literally she must be so

16:55Paige DeSorbo: annoyed because i just like talked about you all yesterday when we were in the green room like and she cried there and then she locked herself in the bathroom there and then she couldn't get her corset on here and then her mom answered the phone and told her to stop it over there um yeah

17:07Hannah Berner: don't forget i like vomited at some point i was air gagging um oh god okay wait the next thing i have to bring up is are you on chinese girl tiktok

17:24Paige DeSorbo: no but my husband speaks mandarin so i feel like i should be okay i was diagnosed as chinese which

17:30Hannah Berner: i'm very proud of and it is all of these chinese girls basically giving you like their morning routines on how they stay so like like their skin is so glowy and how they just stay healthy which actually it's gonna annoy me because my mom has said this to me forever and i've been like shut up mom I love an ice cold anything I love my ice cold Stanley I love an ice cold soda like I

17:59Paige DeSorbo: love it has to be freezing you even put your face in ice cold water I love it I'll stuff myself in

18:06Hannah Berner: the freezer I don't care they said that the number one thing is when you first wake up that you should not drink anything cold so like hot water with lemon immediately and then they're drinking bone broth for breakfast because they're like waking their bodies up slowly and naturally and I love a nice coffee I'm an iced coffee girl all year round but I've been drinking hot water with lemon in the morning before I I still have a nice coffee but before I do anything

18:37Paige DeSorbo: it's kind of life-changing how so because you know I I have follow-up questions

18:44Hannah Berner: okay I feel like some and this might just be me but I feel like you get to a point with your caffeine where you're like okay my body's not responding to it anymore like I really would like to go to the bathroom maybe I'll have just like a little bit more coffee and then I'll go for whatever reason the hot water with lemon one works immediately if not sooner it's almost like your body season is like i've got to go and it it does like wake you up in such a different way but like a better way like i feel like you have coffee immediately it's like jolting you into like the future you're like holy shit how much lemon are we talking like a slice but then there's like all these videos of like other things like goji berries that they put in tea and like all this other stuff so they also have like a tea in the morning i do

19:40Paige DeSorbo: trust a tea because people have been doing it for so long i also actually do like this because this isn't like a crazy investment for the girls to be like oh you got to buy this crazy thing like get some lemons you know i love chinese medicine um yes i can i also just say we never make the gigglers like ride at dawn for like anything like we don't like to get them to like be mean to people like we don't want to get a place of love and light however issues i know i never i never asked them to like do anything nana still nana still got it is getting attacked on threads right now and i she doesn't know she doesn't know and she's listening so she just found out because she doesn't even know that her posts automatically go to threads so nana is getting bullied on threads

20:27Hannah Berner: when she didn't even sign up for it wait this is not funny this is it's actually elder abuse this This is like legit elder abuse. It's fucked up. Hannah texted the group chat, me and Grace and Hannah. And she goes, oh, my God, Nana's literally getting bullied. Like, you have to go on. Hannah, I clicked into it.

20:49Paige DeSorbo: No. Like, I'm really upset.

20:51Hannah Berner: It's actually why I feel like Giggly Squad is so important. these older women of a totally different generation of us that we're not allowed to live alone we're not allowed to decide if they wanted to get married or not or have children or not and like a lot are i seem like boy moms from the south but anyway it's terrifying the women that are attacking nana are 65 plus 65 is generous you will always have haters no matter what age if you're a star no i was like wait so this is never ending for me sorry i'm so it's okay so for anyone who

21:33Paige DeSorbo: doesn't know about my nana at nana still got it she loves her fans more than anything yeah she loves them more than me she loves her fans now nana the thing with nana is nana has been gorgeous since the day i i met her out of the womb when she's she's walks into a restaurant everyone looks at her thinks she's famous i always just thought she was a star she is the most naturally beautiful woman italian and just stunning and yeah she takes she stays out of the sun she doesn't

22:01Hannah Berner: drink she doesn't smoke and she never had a needle to the face never she doesn't even have her ears

22:07Paige DeSorbo: pierced she also like just hates pain and she also just takes care of herself but she is abnormally beautiful for her age i will say that it is jarring and i show it off a lot but she has never done plastic surgery not against plastic surgery but she hasn't and then she also has no idea how to use filters this woman innocently sits in the corner of her living room and asks her husband to take photos of her outfits because her fans like to see what she puts on each day it's the very a la page she's perfect and has never done anything to hurt anybody and she wants world peace so she posts this photo of her sitting in her living room and says my husband took these photos can you imagine she asked her 86 year old husband to take photos of her my husband took these photos of me this morning i can't believe i will be 85 next month where did the time go and look is she eating that up yes is she like putting your foot on bitches next maybe is she taking her orthopedic

23:14Hannah Berner: and putting it on your Nana's neck. Absolutely.

23:17Paige DeSorbo: Look, also, by the way, Nana loves all Nanas. She loves all her friends. She gets along with all of them. She supports all of her older friends. Now, the first fucking comment, Karen period Scott period 7509.

23:34Hannah Berner: Say the name, girl. It's Karen Scott.

23:38Paige DeSorbo: And if any of, is this any of yours, Grandma? You better give her a fucking talking to, okay? someone come get their grandma you are not 85 your hands would show it by the way like her hands you bitch are not filtered they look like her hands there's nothing you can do to hide the age of your hands i don't know what that means and then people are like yeah and i'm 16 and people are like a filter can do miracles hands have cosmetic surgery too um all these they're they're saying she's getting vein removal like it is crazy but it's all because she's so beautiful which brings me to my next point as a woman yeah mental health moment it up as a fucking woman if you don't age gracefully you're you're no one respects you if you get surgery to look better people bully you if you age beautifully people bully you so anyway everyone defend nana on nana still got it's threads account because i'm losing on someone if you're born a woman you're gonna get bullied at you're gonna that's just that's what it is that's basically like i can just i had a like premonition of you at 84 posting like a gorgeous photo of people being like there's your nose

24:56Hannah Berner: i'm gonna be fucking these bitches up i'm gonna be in the comments at 85 being like i have nothing

25:02Paige DeSorbo: to lose i'm coming to your house i do have to say there are a bunch of beautiful photos of other grandmas saying i'm 80 years old i've never smoked or drank i give thanks to our good lord for my health didn't need to get religion involved but here we are and she looks so cute um and this other person said this is my mom at 84 no fillers no hair dye yeah so it's it's going viral yeah and And I just, there's beautiful comments, but there's also people being mean. And there's something about people saying something. Yeah, someone goes, please share what filter you use. You look great. But then there's a lot of people that are just like, you look amazing.

25:44Paige DeSorbo: I love you. But anyway, it's hard being a star. It really is. It really is. No, people are nuts. But then again, if people aren't hating on you. But also, my grandma should not be posting on Instagram. Like she should not be dealing with trolls at 85 years old. Like maybe I should talk to her.

26:05Hannah Berner: I just I couldn't imagine seeing an older woman and being like.

26:09Paige DeSorbo: I'm going to hate on her. Well, like the fact that people are jealous of Nana, like iconic. No, I can actually iconic. Like she's just living her life and people are talking bad.

26:21Hannah Berner: Girl, I can only hope that these bitches are jealous of me. 85.

26:26Paige DeSorbo: Yeah. Can I just say, if people aren't mad, you're not doing enough.

26:31Hannah Berner: You got to keep these bitches mad. I have a whole list of people that if I get murdered, I know for a fact it's one of these five. Like, there's hands down. It's one of these five. Like, you don't have to go anywhere. I've done the research. I know who it is.

26:48Paige DeSorbo: So thank you, guys. We write it. Dawn Fernandez still got it. And every grandma. Every giggler grandma.

26:54Hannah Berner: I feel like this goes without saying, but we support grandmas. This is a pro not bullying grandmas podcast. I don't know what you've heard on the streets, but we are pro grandma. We don't condone bullying grandmothers.

27:12Paige DeSorbo: You know, I'm going to take a huge step here and say, let's not bully grandmas. I'm going to go out on a limb here. Go out on a limb. Anti-grandma bullying right here.

27:23Hannah Berner: I was going to say the elderly are off limits. Okay? I mean, what are we, Jen Shaw? Get a goddamn grip, people. Oh, my God. No. People need to touch grass. It's so crazy. My God. Oh. Support for today's episode comes from Square, the system powering like half the places that I go. If you've ever tapped to pay and thought, wow, that was fast, it was probably Square. So whether you're selling lattes, cutting hair, detailing cars, or running a design studio, Square helps you run your business without running yourself into the ground. I love going to Blue Bottle Coffee in the city and they use Square and honestly, it's just a quick, easy checkout.

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32:37Paige DeSorbo: On eBay, every find has a story. Like if you're looking for a vintage band tee. Not just a tee, the band tee from the last show your favorite band ever played. You wore it everywhere. Then your boyfriend started wearing it, which was cute until they dumped you and took it with them, which was so not cute. Anyway, now you're on eBay. And there it is. Same tee. from the same tour, still living in your memory rent-free forever. See, the things you love have a way of finding their way back to you. But eBay isn't just for getting what your ex stole back, it's also for that rare championship foul ball you caught, then heroically gave to the kid next to you.

33:17Paige DeSorbo: And where else are you gonna find your first car, the one you wish you never sold, but now finally have the chance to take home for good this time? I love eBay, to find all the fashion collectibles and unique pieces that I know will mean something to me. My Nana ended up giving one of her bags to my little cousin. And I was like, oh, I wish I could have had that bag. And then I found it on eBay. Shop eBay for millions of finds, each with a story. eBay, things people love.

33:44Hannah Berner: Wait, did you see? And I'm like kind of offended by it. Okay. There was like a big article that was like, new for 2026 is having admin night with your friends. Paige. Okay.

33:57Paige DeSorbo: I also know when I'm being I know when I'm being there are moments where I'm like Hannah you didn't make that up like people have been saying that for years sit down we made up admin okay admin originated for us oh hi Daphne cause British Dave oh my god she's so cute I was dating and I asked him why he I think they lost the war to us and he said it was too much admin and that's hilarious and then we started saying are are other people saying admin in that like what what were you gonna say about it

34:30Hannah Berner: do the people that wrote that article and all the mean grandmas out there i'm coming for you

34:36Paige DeSorbo: yep they were like admin night is a thing the girls are doing no they're not yeah no where that's crazy people doing that well there is this thing with adhd that i've diagnosed myself with called body doubling and it's it actually is so true like i won't clean my room but i'll like call a friend or my mom let's be honest call my mom and just have her in the room to watch me do something and it makes me do it it's it's strange but it or like yeah you need to send an email and if like someone's in the room I'm like I'm sending the email and I like need them there to like hold

35:10Hannah Berner: me accountable almost whenever I'm gonna talk to my friend Stephanie I know that I'm gonna be on the phone for like four hours so I literally pick a project I'm like I'm gonna actually reorganize

35:22Paige DeSorbo: all my makeup and she's like amazing by the way i hung out with stephanie this weekend i know how

35:30Hannah Berner: how fun but also i'm so happy i wasn't there because i never want to go to denver ever again in my whole entire life and stephanie lives there and she knows that about me and she's like but

35:43Paige DeSorbo: maybe you'll come and i'm like never i was trying to convince her to move i'm like i can't breathe here how do you guys breathe yeah breathing is kind of top really crucial for me yeah yeah wait

35:55Hannah Berner: i see that you have on the list and i wanted to bring it up too is traders okay actually i'm so

36:02Paige DeSorbo: excited wait yep wait yep i don't know why i have so much energy right now so do i i almost had a drink at dinner but i was like no i'll probably be bad on giggly god forbid i have a cocktail

36:17Hannah Berner: one episode we should just get like hammered yeah i was taught yeah i think we should i think we should be in person yeah because i'll just log off you'll just fall asleep and i'll be like hello do you remember that time i had to take a zoom when i when i was in italy and i felt guys one time me and hannah had like a what probably the most important zoom we've ever had to this date and i was six hours ahead and i'm trying to be like you've been up for like

36:47Paige DeSorbo: 17 48 hours jet lagged i was like no guys i'm good and hannah texts me and she goes you're falling i was like get a post-it right put a fake eye on it put it over your eye because your eyes are closed you gotta figure something out babe wake up you had to apologize remember you were like sorry i'm not joe act okay stop anna okay this is gonna get a little serious and then we're gonna go back to fun okay now i actually have not started watching this season

37:23Hannah Berner: of traitors because um my schedule it just like hasn't aligned sometimes i like sometimes i like to have like a bunch of traitors episodes and then i'll just like go and watch them so i have not started it but I've obviously seen spoilers I've seen the cast of who's on it I didn't watch The Bachelor I don't watch The Bachelor I haven't watched The Bachelor since the fourth grade when the first bachelorette won and she's still with her husband and I and I love that for her so I did not watch when Colton was straight on The Bachelor I did but okay so for people that don't know colton went on the bachelor he was straight he picked a girl okay great he proceeds to harass the fuck out of this girl okay she has to file a restraining order he put a tracker on her car he um what else did he do oh he like fake would like text her he would text and call her so much that she like couldn't even use her phone and then he would text her from other numbers and act like it's someone else so she thought she had like another stalker and then he like admitted to it he had a restraining order against him and like i think you have to to get a restraining order against someone i think that person has to be arrested oh also my brother called me and was like please stop talking about legal stuff because you have no idea what you're talking about the defendant isn't the only people that pick the jury gary don't i said okay i said okay i'm not a lawyer okay i hope he felt he felt good about himself when he said that to you i was like okay you know

38:53Paige DeSorbo: this isn't for you stop listening turn it off actually no one of the he works with a giggler

38:59Hannah Berner: and she was like you should tell your sister she's stupid but anyway i digress i digress he's like no i know um so anyway so colton he does all of this weird shit to this all of this highly illegal stalking shit to this girl this is the girl who's dating um what's her name i need michelle randolph it's her sister that's who won the best shot with him the fuck and she's equally

39:30Paige DeSorbo: as glenn powell yes her sister is who called she's gorgeous but the her sister is equally as gorgeous cassie she's gorgeous perfect she was like an angel like she was like you know yeah so that's no i'm livid also his name is colton anyway continue so colton does all this weird fucking

39:48Hannah Berner: illegal shit to this woman and then all of a sudden comes out as gay and everybody like forgets that he stalked this woman's life for months and months on end and tell me why you get a job why are you casted on a big hit national television show and not only why are you casted getting a paycheck why the fuck are you getting a nice guy edit you're a stalker weirdo if any girl ever did any of that to a guy was arrested had a restraining order actually one time there was a rumor about me that i someone had a restraint someone had a restraining order again you've like diabolical rumors on you no that one like really scared me because i was like yeah wait are people gonna

40:33Paige DeSorbo: think this you're like gary no literally i called my brother i take back all the bad things i said

40:38Hannah Berner: about you i was like how do i prove that i don't have a restraining order against he was like you'd have to be arrested you like there's no like anyway i digress yeah i digress so it's so i haven't watched it because i kept seeing all of these clips and it's actually pissing me off that this guy is getting like a nice guy edit on a massive show well he's also like taking

40:59Paige DeSorbo: charge like he's like this is what i think and this is what's going on like he's a big oh you're watching babe i'm caught up babe i'm girl babe no i'm like livid i don't even know what you're

41:13Hannah Berner: even know why I'm so mad about it I feel like people are mad at him though I think it's good I think it's the fact because in reality tv the men just get away with so much it's actually it makes me sick to my stomach like sick sorry you can lie for years and years can't cancelable

41:31Paige DeSorbo: things happen they get protected and then the girl looks crazy for reacting to it continue no insane

41:40Hannah Berner: insane i just like i can't i can't i want to be like nbc don't why did you even hire this person

41:48Paige DeSorbo: like well it the truth is is that a man can do something and then he but he's good looking

41:53Hannah Berner: this guy like i just like i don't i don't even how do you have an agent how are you even walking into production companies and being like yeah hire me i just think it sends like a really I'm also like no it sends a horrible message it sends a really horrible message to women and and women are primarily who's watching reality tv so you're basically telling all of these younger women who are watching this show that if a guy does any of this to you and you report it it's okay because he's still gonna go on and live a fine life and then I think that Cassie girl like is not like she's not on tv anymore I don't even think she's like an info I don't think she does

42:32Paige DeSorbo: anything public well she's probably has such a terrible experience that she's like i don't want to be involved in any of this public shit anymore so anyway i think he's disgusting and i think he

42:44Hannah Berner: should be not hired ever again on anything like sorry you can't stalk someone and then just be like sorry didn't mean it like no you're creepy and weird well yeah there was no explanation for I'm going to add him to my list in case I get murdered. He's on the list.

43:02Paige DeSorbo: He's on the list. Anywho. The reason why I started watching traitors is one thing about me, I do love a game. Yeah. And I don't love watching reality TV because I know how the sausage is made. So I lost the magic for me. However, I was people are loving traitors. and I was getting frustrated that from the clips, I still couldn't figure out what the rules were. And I just want to, the rules are fucking complicated. It's like, there are no rules. It's actually like rugby. They make them up as they go. It's like rugby. I don't think anyone knows what the rules are. They're just running around. And yeah, they do keep changing them.

43:39Paige DeSorbo: And it took me like three episodes to understand like, okay, so it's different to be banished than to be murdered. And traitors can't get, can't, can be banished, but they can't be murdered. Like that shit is complicated. And I went to college. Yeah. So I've been watching it and it really is fascinating because it is like a bunch of rats in a like experiment. I don't mean like snitches. I mean like a social experiment where you just put a bunch of like creatures together and see how they interact. And the truth with the game is there's so much like luck involved too. With like, like there's no way to just like win the game.

44:17you have to like have so many things go your way um i see so many people that are like oh my god you and hannah should go on or like go on traders first i would never go on without you and second

44:30Hannah Berner: they'd have to make us both traders because if i'm a trader i'm obviously gonna tell you no you wouldn't tell me you just look at me and go you're a fucking traitor

44:42Paige DeSorbo: they'd have to make both of us traitors because like could you imagine me lying to you

44:47Hannah Berner: oh you want me to lie to my best friend oh what are you teaching america that's rude imagine me lying to you also here's the other thing hannah they take your phone for like two weeks you can't watch tv you can't defend nana on threads i can't defend nana no what am i going to

45:03Paige DeSorbo: jail like i'm and also you have to run no so this is my my one um problem with it my gripe is that i don't understand why they have the physical activities because it reminds me of the challenge kind of but like yeah i guess they're getting more money and it's like these people already have money like what are we doing like put it to charity or something i don't know i don't get the money part i don't understand and like yeah some people get shields and shit but like i don't really care about that all i want to see is these bitches at the round table going at it for a full

45:33Hannah Berner: hour that's what i want to see done like no breaks no food no i think that like last year um the real housewife of atlanta phaedra yes oh my god that just was really freaking me out i thought it was like having dementia is if i heard that she's like the best no they should they should take Take the clips of her at the round table and play them at law school. Why was she good? She was. Well, she is a lawyer. So she she is just. She was so. Oh, she ate them all up. And she was a traitor. Well, she ate them all up.

46:13Paige DeSorbo: This is what's fucked up because people they call about like there's like double, triple bluffing. We're like first they're like, are they pretending to not be a traitor? Then it's like, are they pretending to not be a traitor, to be a traitor, to not be a traitor? like it's so many layers and mind fuckery um i also i feel like you'd be amazing at it if there wasn't physical stuff involved i feel like i would nervous giggle the whole time and people would be like she's gotta go like if she people would fucking hate us at the round table because all we would do is be like oh you're a good one you know what's funny if people take it so seriously like people are cursing each other out i'm like they're not talking about you there's it's a game of if you're a traitor and people are like fuck you and fuck this i'm like what are we fighting like they're not saying you're evil they're saying did out did alan cummings tap you on their on the shoulder or not by the way his outfits are spectacular because i kind of love that he doesn't even acknowledge it like he just walks in the room he should win an emmy literally just for his outfits he's incredible the trait the traitors the traitor the traitors well i love that you're watching yeah but um i'm starting to fast forward through the like activities because i'm like i just want to see them at the table um so it's that's fun for me that's fun for me we're having some fun with that did you watch him and hers of course should i watch it yeah one of

47:40Hannah Berner: the best shows i've actually probably one of the best shows i've watched in like three years i would say what well in terms of like it's one season you're not getting another season it's like a

47:54Paige DeSorbo: mini series i do love a miniseries i love a bow at the end i also love both those actors wait i

48:00Hannah Berner: love the guy in that he's like the guy from wolf of wall street he just like gives me like is he

48:05Paige DeSorbo: the one the like italian with the like strong nose yeah you love that shit i love that shit too I love that shit. Yeah, we love that shit.

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52:11Paige DeSorbo: Wait, can I say a crazy hot take? Yeah. it's not like juicy or anything it's just like diabolical okay depending on the scenario sometimes i like when people play music on the subway on speakerphone because sometimes it brings an ambiance that is needed sometimes it's like you have your own soundtrack through the world yes sometimes you're having a bad day and someone puts on and you go

52:42Hannah Berner: you know what i'm feeling this that's how i feel when i walk down the sidewalk and there's like a delivery guy on a bike with his own box you know and i'm like yeah create your own joy you know

52:53Paige DeSorbo: playing blasting music on a subway seems insane until you need to pick me up and ja rule comes on

52:59Hannah Berner: honestly that's the least weird thing that happens i'm like it's literally just adding some like I'll be honest down there is weird it can get weird down there wait so you agree yeah I don't mind I don't mind the subway is lawless like there's no rules on the subway so like someone playing their music on speak it's not airport rules it's not plane rules so someone playing on speaker at least of my worries because my head's on a swivel for way worse things you know

53:33Paige DeSorbo: By the way, I'm going rogue with what I'm watching because I'm watching Rally TV and then I'm watching Fallout. I don't even know what that is. Okay, so Des is one of these shows he just starred in and was like, you're not going to like it. So maybe he like kind of actually reverse mind fucked me. He was like, you wouldn't like this. You wouldn't like this.

53:51Hannah Berner: And I'm like, maybe I will. Oh, see, when anyone ever says that to me, I'm like, okay.

53:59Paige DeSorbo: The way he did it, though, he's like, you know, I could like, but like Walton Goggins in it. It's about an apocalypse and I love apocalyptic stuff because that's what we're currently living in. Yeah, because I want to be prepared for the future. No, it scares me. I want to be prepared for the future. Sorry.

54:15Hannah Berner: Also, like, I'm just like not going to ever be that dusty. I'm. Oh. Are you going to. Would you try and live through an apocalypse?

54:22Paige DeSorbo: No. Yeah. Me neither. Well, also because my husband, like he's having problems with his niece. So, like, he wouldn't be able to defend me. And, like, I just. No. I'm not.

54:31Hannah Berner: I'm taking myself out. have at it good luck guys see you up there but like no this it's actually it's based off a video

54:41Paige DeSorbo: game so it's kind of like the last of us okay and um the acting is really good it's like kind of funny and i honestly if any girls are like apocalyptic stuff i think it's i'm into it okay well that seems very hannah coded but we're happy for you also we went into i'm staying at this hotel and they told us that there is like it's really old and beautiful great history and there may or may not there may or may not be ghosts i immediately get excited ali gets upset she's like please don't tell me that and i said please tell us more i love a roommate and ali's like literally getting nervous i look at her i'm like you're no fucking fun all you have to do is like give the ghosts good energy and like you'll have a good time like you're putting out bad vibes then they'll like so then she's like just like don't bring up but it makes me really upset so obviously like when i knocked on her door i was like oh but like honestly like life is so boring i'd love a ghost i'd love a ghost also what are you gonna do take me out i dare you yeah i i hope

55:48Hannah Berner: you do if that's how i go that's iconic see okay you know what's crazy is there's definitely ghosts in my apartment building because my apartment building's so old like someone has definitely died in my exact unit before someone told you that no they didn't but you heard or you felt well no it's just so old my building was built in like is a pre-war building so it's like which war who knows you know thank you so much for bringing that up no one talks about that is it the war currently going on in my mind war of 1812 where are we getting at here no in new york city you if you live here for even a second you will hear the phrase pre-war

56:35Paige DeSorbo: it's pre-war men love saying that oh my god i used to be like very anti-pre-war buildings because i'm like ew dirty it's old yeah like now i'm like chic character yes i don't want your new

56:51Hannah Berner: modern bullshit i want something with a little gusto something with a border you know something with yeah i want to hear a little kid singing at night i want her in a little like i want her in a nightgown that goes to the floor you know and she's yelling mom your 20s you're scared of ghosts

57:11Paige DeSorbo: in your 30s you're like i need some entertainment i'm so sick of myself and everyone around me I'd love some companionship

57:18Hannah Berner: Hold me at night I do feel like if I were If we were to get a ghost We would get like cool ghosts That are like Sleepy

57:30Paige DeSorbo: We've heard the gossip And we want to tell you I've never said this out loud But have you ever been in a room alone And smelled a fart And you didn't fart Yes

57:42Hannah Berner: Are you serious

57:44Paige DeSorbo: yeah i've never said this out loud i thought it was just me being insane like farting and not knowing i farted you and it's not even my brand like i'm like what the fuck do you think ghosts

57:53Hannah Berner: fart yes because wait i've i've heard that like if there's a ghost or something you'll feel like a like a really warm like you'll walk and it'll be like really warm air and you're like what like like you're in a pool or really cold yes and there have been times where i've been in my apartment where i've been like what is that smell and then i like look at kitty and like she looks at me and

58:20Paige DeSorbo: i'm like okay well it's got to be one of us which brings me to my next point of why i love cats they can see ghosts and cats don't fart they're girls don't fart like dogs will fart and like clear the room even if my cat did fart i would blame it on someone else like butter doesn't cats don't fart no i've never they hold

58:45Hannah Berner: it in yeah she would do like in her privacy she's like put some respect on her name she has couth you know dogs are just out here like ripping ass you're like eating and everyone's like what is that in my mouth they look at you like what and you're like hello you can like hear it like i've

59:05Paige DeSorbo: heard a dog fart like no diabolical they like show off okay one of like the biggest revelations of

59:11Hannah Berner: my life and i like think about this all the time and i don't know why is the one time i went dog sledding i didn't know that don't even get me started it was when i did that goddamn winter house so they make me go dog sledding and one of the things that i didn't realize is when you're sitting in the sled and the dogs are running they're also shitting the entire time no yeah i literally like kick up at you almost i was like what is this and they were like well they're they're exerting so much energy and i was like so this is animal abuse no first of all full and

59:49Paige DeSorbo: pita's fuming you're gonna get a call second of all um is it like your adrenaline goes and you have to like you're going to a guy's phone and you have to poop honestly yes i'm like so i have to

1:00:02Hannah Berner: like endure their shit because no that's why i don't like cats wouldn't do that cats would never do that you want me to pull you on a sled okay since we're at the every pod you know we get to

1:00:16Paige DeSorbo: the customary poop part i have i have to a poop i just have to say something which is diabolical but i'm gonna say it because if people are made it to this point in the episode they they get us um there's something that people don't talk about enough and it's this rare thing that happens particularly to me where every now and then you go to dinner and you're like not that hungry and you're like damn it like i want to be hungry for this but you're not that hungry you don't know

1:00:43Hannah Berner: why and then after literally every time i go out to dinner because i have anxiety after the

1:00:48Paige DeSorbo: appetizers i realized i'm gonna go to the bathroom a mid-dinner poop feels like a puke and rally when you're partying because you thought you were out you thought that you were out and you come back a new woman and you're like bring the fucking entree it's round two motherfucker i pooped in the middle of a sushi extravaganza right there on the table the way i was shoveling sushi does was like where did you get this this second wind and i said you don't even want to know what happened in the bathroom but it's like you you feel like you come back to life it's pooping

1:01:26Hannah Berner: during dinner is underrated your commitments to shitting in public is truly i didn't know you

1:01:33Paige DeSorbo: weren't supposed to don't put a toilet there if you don't want me shit in it why is there a toilet there also i don't like that men can shit and we can't shit actually a lot of men get a lot of men don't shit in public the first thing i do when i go to public places i'm like where can i poop

1:01:51Hannah Berner: yeah no you're like a dog where you have to pee on things like that's mine that's mine you're like good facilities here i'll take a shit strong flush what a diabolical episodes this has been so far oh god well i want to thank

1:02:07Paige DeSorbo: duncan for partnering with us for the episode these refreshers are so so good now we've gone on literally eight rounds which one did you did you get um strawberry dragon fruit with a little sparkling water mango pineapple refresher with green tea as you guys know i always do um we love you guys so much thank you for giggling with us yeah i'm gonna be in la on thursday come

1:02:30Hannah Berner: to the show in LA also San Francisco um okay also I have one housekeeping thing I have a my Amazon live not this week this week is a solo episode but my one next week that I'm will be announcing is the one that I had to take a beta blocker for because everyone was like was it for Morgan Stewart and I was like no I freaking love Morgan was it for Brooks no like we had so much fun this one I'd had this is the one I had to take a beta I think I took a beta blocker when

1:02:59Paige DeSorbo: you told me about it yeah very exciting very exciting um we love you guys so much and we'll giggle with you on friday bye

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