Giggling about sleuthing, ugly sweaters, and age gaps

0:14What's up, Gigglers? juice okay low effort today but we'll try again next week you know it's crazy that you've actually you've actually been doing that for like what 450 episodes and you guys I don't know if you could tell but I don't prepare it I see if it comes well I was gonna say sour grape and then I think I've said that before and then I was gonna say I don't know I don't want to get you guys into my thought process yeah because it's it's extreme my whole process how are you I'm good how are you it's a rainy disgusting day i know i love it honestly it's like romantic it's just i love new york city when it rains because no one goes outside everyone's home can i say something controversial yeah i've talked about leaves you're right you have a personal gripe against yeah i just think like they're all like everything's good and then it gets cold and they're like, I'm just going to kill myself.

1:14It just seems kind of dramatic. There's other ways to go about life than just chucking yourself off the tree. I really feel like we have the same experience every day, just in different fonts, because I was driving down the West Side Highway this morning before it started raining, and I was just like, fall in New York City is so gorgeous. So gorgeous. It's so beautiful. and then one day it's just like you know what haunted dirt dirt for all on the sidewalk the leaves there's coping mechanisms you don't have to go from just green to dead like let's like discuss some emdr like maybe there's something you could do you know what i've noticed that when we start the pod we do like the first five minutes of like just hey just like how's the weather like as if we're working in an office and we've just like met each other at our desk and then like in five minutes we're like tell me about the family and then she had an abortion and he didn't know we're like we won in the beginning we stay light okay because we don't know if this people's first time listening we don't want to freak them off immediately i mean we did make a pretty serious joke there but um we had a fun weekend we had such a fun weekend um um hannah performed at carnegie hall which was how what happened to that feel it was regal it was elegant i was joking that my nana was like i saw frank sinatra here why are you here one of my favorite things about hannah about you performing is how everyone in your like immediate family also prepares for your performance like your mom is captain of the Calm, cool, collected.

3:02Literally throw anything at her. She's like, I've actually already figured that out 10 minutes ago. You were late on it. Your dad, happy to be involved. Tries to make a little side comment. What time do you think we're getting out of here? Are there snacks? What have you been up to? Easy, chill guy. Nana and Pop, Nana, all about Nana. And we love to see it. Off the shoulder. She's like, is the photographer taking pictures yet? She's like, and no one said anything about my red dress. I think that's rude. Papa just like in a pure delight. Des is my favorite person to observe in the situation. Because he doesn't go until it's like a big moment.

3:42It's actually like the largest man in the room having the largest emotions. First off, I walk into the green room and it was as if it was silent. It was as if you were already performing in the hair and makeup chair. They're like, we've never seen this before. It's like 15 people just watching Hannah get hair and makeup. They've never seen me look good before. They were like, what is going on? My dad actually didn't understand what fake hair was. I look at Dez. Dez is in a full gray neoprene matching sweatsuit. He looks like a retired henchman. Like he literally, if someone said, you have a gun on you, I'd be like, yeah, obviously he does.

4:21He's protecting the whole room. When someone says, I got a guy, he's the guy. He was the guy. That night, he was the guy. So he got this full Lululemon set, and I said he looked like Travis Kelsey walking into a game.

4:35Then somebody said, I forget who it was. It was either, like, Allie or Caroline was like, why do you look like a Russian gymnastics coach right now? There were just so many different things that he looked like in that moment. Does one for comfort. So he's, like, so anxious before you go out, okay? He's literally pacing. He's up. He's moving around. He's switched his seat, like, ten times. Yep. finally you leave you go out on stage you're there we're in the green room we're watching you on tv I'm like surely he's like calmed down because other people are like talking in the green room so like we're listening to you but like every other joke someone's like saying something in a conversation gets brought up so in my head I'm like he's calmed down like let me just check on him make sure he's calmed down we're sitting next to each other mind you I turn my head and I start saying, are you more, I was going to say, are you more relaxed?

5:28When I look at him. He's praying. He has his head back, his eyes closed, and I could tell he's really focused on the pattern of his breath work. You've been out there for 20 minutes already. You're literally crushing it. No one threw a tomato yet. I go, are you? I go, okay, never mind. You're not more relaxed. He goes, Tari. I was just I was just zoning in I was meditating I was like it was actually the most romantic thing I've actually ever witnessed thank you so this man the most romantic thing he ever said to me because at one point like he gets nervous before my shows and I started to take offense to it I was like babe I got this like this is the one time as if you like couldn't you're taking it as like he doesn't think I can do it yeah I'm like this is the one time in my life I feel like myself and I feel confident anywhere else get nervous me at the DMV get fucking nervous this I can handle and he's like no it's just i can't watch people i care about perform and i was like you sweet sweet anxious man um so that's his thing he literally i was in the bathroom he starts knocking on the door i'm like what's what's going on no he came in like three times he was like did hannah come in here did you see him i was like i was just in the bathroom who cares i go to the bathroom like eight times i know you're like no i'm like they just brought ginger ale who cares i open the bathroom I'm like what's going on is Nana okay and he's like there's an elevator you got to get in the elevator there were two entrances to the bathroom I think you went out one as he was going in yeah and he turned he was like didn't Hannah just go in here I was like look I keep them in on his toes yeah he never knows what's gonna happen I think the adrenaline is healthy in our relationship you don't want guys to ever feel too calm around you wait then there was a moment where you had ordered pasta like prior to the show and you hadn't eaten it.

7:17My emotional support pasta. Yes, and it was still in the container. I don't know why me and your family collectively just started guessing what kind of pasta you ordered until your mom opened it to see like if we were all right. That's the most Italian shit, by the way. Your mom was like, she's definitely got vodka sauce. And I was like, I'm going meat sauce. I didn't end up eating that pasta. I know. It was literally my emotional support pasta, like emergency pasta. Nana almost ate it, and then she goes, no.

7:49Johnny, no. My cutting dairy has been a lot more difficult than I thought. Wait. I haven't fully committed to it, but every day I try. Every day. You just threw that on us. Well, you had mentioned I have to cut stuff, and then people are in my DMs. So it's really conscious at every meal. You're like, maybe. Maybe. not the extra shredded cheese yeah so yesterday i was like okay i guess i won't get the the like american cheese omelet but then i was like is goat cheese dairy and they were like yeah and i was like okay like i guess i won't get the quattro cheese pizza so i was supporting goats um and so then i got eggs with no cheese which was like painful yeah meat potatoes and pancakes turns out pancakes have dairy and the butter i put on so we're walking somewhere i shit myself not like you guys not like full not like full on i know we have to explain on the pod what's there's definitely there's a range that was just a regular like i stopped it by the way eatily great place great bathrooms for bathrooms awesome um and then centrally located this today for lunch i was like i got like chicken with a side of sweet potatoes so healthy so boring and then i got like a kale salad ate it it was a kale caesar like dairy keeps finding it finds you it finds me and at this point it sounds like it's not my business well i'm not like i agree i'm not getting crazy with if i if i turn into someone that's like i'm sorry i can't have the caesar dressing just shoot me like truly i know but i guess the whole point of like cutting dairy is like a actually doing it this is just something we talk about I ordered pasta and they were like do you want a side of ricotta and I was like yeah you can't eat it without it so like that's just rules like you can't break the rules of life it's very simple we're not arguing our ancestors if they're offering it we're taking it so do you want my great grandma to roll over in her grave be haunted by her ghost okay so did you eat before your Carnegie Hall show because you looked actually so extremely fit thank you I'm gonna be honest with you guys um it's not a thing it's not but I would appreciate some rumors um I after reality tv was super depressed for three years and couldn't work out and that'll do it that'll do it so I um the way my body works is just that like I've always been an active kid go make me chase a ball like i'm just an active person so like when i wasn't working out at all my body like really was upset and now i'm like back it wasn't your body's norm yeah where my body was like we'll show you just follow us so my body was like mad at me but i was like i can't get myself to like have hope in the gym yeah so now you've been like you've been doing better i'm doing better i'm doing pilates so it's more like finding out what works for your body and how do you feel in capris and a heel on a stage okay thank you for your inspiration your belief in me your seal of approval before i went on stage all those things were important they're these norma kamali capris that are like soft so you don't feel like sausageed in yeah but also stretchy enough that you're like all of her stuff is very comfortable good yeah so it's norma kamali and the heels for sometimes a heel i can tolerate so it was good i felt good it looked phenomenal how did it feel to show up to a green room with me and not have to put in any labor on stage i loved it i loved every at first i was like is she my only is she having fomo no i had zero but you looked so happy you're calm cool you're laughing slapping your knee my only gripe gripe with you is what's your like rider in green rooms what are you like training for an iron man like the protein bars and gatorade i was like where's the meat and cheese where where's the fresh fruit platter i should have a fresh fruit platter no diet coke we we were all so thirsty for a diet coke i was like surely she put diet cooks on a rider that would be insane not to be so cheap but i found out that your rider i thought they just got you stuff no it's no it comes out of my pocket what's in the rider you didn't know that i didn't know that because i because a rich cracker is not on the top of my list to be concerned that's so valid i also just when you do it every day if i have a meat and cheese platter every night no i get it it starts to be like too i get swollen yeah um and that's my burden to bear but i apologize there's also no alcohol oh i didn't even like care about that it was more like i poorly planned i was like i could have done a charcuterie board if i had like any respect for the people coming to visit me well that's what i thought i thought you would host in some capacity i had pasta for me just sitting there and and a and a room full of people complimenting you i was like okay what are we wrapping this portion up what is going on you know it's also so selfish like obviously i knew i was going to your green room and like you were gonna have other friends and your family there but when i get in a room with you and i haven't had a loan time with you i feel very disconnected i actually was getting a little anxiety because i was like can we have a second i was like stop talking i just saw my friend we haven't even given each other the first five minutes of gossip imagine me being like hey a fam give me a second we have to talk some serious gossip like I you want to know what it felt like it felt like you invited me to your birthday party sleepover but you had already transferred schools and so now you're in a new school and you have all new friends and like you invited me and it was like hey we didn't really like get to hang but like just know that I support you literally that's what it was like I looked at you and you're I was like are you okay and you're like yeah I'm good I'm like okay and then I found a seat in the corner and I drank my water and I just like I minded my own business.

14:04I know this sounds so weird, but I actually don't like when it's like all about me.

14:11Sure. Next topic. It's a little uncomfortable. No, it's uncomfortable. I get that. Once everyone was there, I was like, okay, now I feel a little. Well, because there is a pressure of being like, are you okay? Is everyone having fun? Like, do you need anything? Even though like you're going out to do this thing and it should be like, you should be the calm one but that's just natural. Before the show I actually was like thinking about a lot of things and I was like oh I have to go on. And like Nana was missing at one point. Just like minor things. Small details. She is swift. You take your eye off her again she's down.

14:48There's two types of people on Thanksgiving. People who turkey trot and people who turkey rot. We don't have to say who we are. You guys know who we are. But turkey trot that's a you have to get born into that i don't think you choose to be a turkey trotter that's something from your lineage yeah you didn't know that you couldn't and like you just think that's what people do if you don't even know what a turkey trot is like you're running a 5k if i married into a turkey trot family divorce would be immediate divorce dismissal of this whole i know what you would do at first you'd say you have a stomach ache and that would work the first year the second year you would say you have an eye infection yeah and they were like you could still wrong with eye infection and you were like it's in my leg and then third year I'd be like I have a family of my own I have to go I have a family emergency and they're like we are your family and you're like exactly this segment is sponsored by Tito's handmade vodka one thing about me on Thanksgiving and this may come as a surprise but I don't help the beginning of Thanksgiving not my business I'm on the couch my dad has made me a wintertime cocktail I'll help clean up after but the before nonsense none of my business see i do help by not being involved because i would just things would go awry and my mom knows that and she goes you want to help me get out of the kitchen yeah and i want to help me leave me alone and i grab my cocktail yeah and i say of course and if you need me for comedic relief i will be just in the other room my personality will be there if you need it you just give me a call but you know when you need like personality breaks on thanksgiving like you just sit in the bathroom for like 10 minutes like Yeah.

16:24And Tito's really gets us because that's why they launched a turkey rot. And this is for all the people that don't want to trot and they want to rot with a cocktail. You have community. Yeah. We're here for you. Or you can wake up, run, and then lay down and rot. You can do both. Two for one. I do have to say a lot of turkey trots are for charity, which I support them. But I love that Tito's Handmade Vodka is doing a turkey rot that gives back to charity. They're teaming up with Meals on Wheels America. We're obsessed with you guys. So however you do Thanksgiving, whether you're trotting or you're rotting, or a little bit of both, make it a turkey rot.

17:04Register for free now at titosvodka.com slash turkey rot. Tito's is kicking off with a$500 ,000 donation to Meals on Wheels America. And for every turkey rot registration, they'll add$5 up to a million dollars. Let's go, Tito's. Tito's Handmade Vodka is distilled and bottled by Fifth Generation Incorporated, Austin, Texas 40 % alcohol by Volume Savor Responsibly. This sponsored segment was brought to you by Tito's Handmade Vodka and Acast Creative Studios. I have a funny story and I'm not gonna name names but there's like this really cool TikToker who's taking a liking to me and I don't know why and I don't really know them that well.

17:45But like other people their age like Gen Z knows them all and she just like loves my comedy and And I'm like, this is so cool. So she randomly texted me like, do you want to go out tonight? And I was like, oh, my God, no.

18:02Oh, my God, thank you so much. And not at all. When they first ask, are you in New York City? You say yes. Oh, I think that should be an illegal text message. Tell me the reason. Tell me the reason. First of all, how dare you? How dare you? Texting someone and immediately asking them for their location. Jen, unless your name are Kim and Gary, get out of my phone. Get out of my phone. Are you in New York City? It's like, okay, you're about to rob me. Yeah, like for what? For what? So I'll be like, yeah. And they're like, do you want to go out tonight? And then I have to get into like deep lies.

18:34But anyway, so she's been like so nice trying to get me to hang with her. I'm like, who did she think I am? Yeah. But it's fine, whatever. You can imagine if she was like, oh my God, I'm so sorry. I thought you were Hannah Einbinder. There you go. like she just got that instagram post music go about your night whatever you're doing with your cat your comedy but honestly gorgeous redheads both really funny don't want to hang out with both of you so i get a random cold call facetime from her yeah so gen z in my motherly energy i'm like she's you put your thoughts she's in trouble like she's in trouble i'm like if she had to go this part in her phone, like something bad's happened.

19:16She's in jail. Her phone's cracked. She could only get to the H's and her contact list. Yeah. Or maybe she couldn't tell her family. She's hiding something. Yeah. And I'm just like in a hotel room in like Maine. Yeah. You're like, fuck it. And she's just like, hey. Yeah. And she's like, I just saw your new tour dates. Like I have to come to your show. And I'm like, I would love for you to come to my show. And we're like randomly just like talking. And it's like feels, I'm like, okay. Do I have a new best friend? Yeah. And then she says, I say something, and I'm like, well, yeah, my husband. She goes, because if people don't know that I'm married, like, outside the gigglers, no one knows I'm married.

19:51Yeah. So it's like, no one knows. So she goes, you're married. And she goes, how old are you? I'm like, Jenny, and I sense the tide shifting. And I'm starting to feel a little exposed. She's like, sorry, the phone's breaking up. You're like, we're on FaceTime. And I go, babe, I'm 34. And she goes, what? Like, you saw the light in her eyes. Like, she literally. Hannah. Like, I didn't do anything wrong. I didn't lie to her. Right, right. It's not my fault. I give young energy. Yeah, you're like, sorry for aging. And she looks at me, and there's like an awkward silence. And I'm just like, honestly, I felt like I disappointed her.

20:32Like, I didn't know what. Yeah. And she just goes, dead ass. I thought you were 27. I said first of all don't say dead ass to me again She goes I thought you were 27 You're like you kiss your mother with that mouth I go what did we say about using bad words It has passed your curfew babe So for a second I'm like wait that's amazing She thought I was 27 But that's honestly And you can end the year You can end the year on a high But she goes I literally thought you were 27 And I'm like that explains why she's been texting me to like hang out all the time And she's like young yeah like younger than 27 yeah so then i'm like yeah and then the conversation kind of faded a little and she's like okay like talk to you later and i'm like she's not gonna text me she's like hope you remember all your meds today bye she's like have fun at water aerobics

21:25she's like i'll share your content with my grandma she'll probably like it too good luck with having jello for for dessert so anyway i was like literally cool for a second yeah realize it and then i fucked it up but this is the thing do we start lying about our age when young people want to hang out with us no well yeah if anything we go older that is not something i want to get involved this moment where she literally was like ew she also was like you're older than the oldest guy i've ever hooked up with and i was like wait till i tell you about my husband wait till i see my husband so when i get off the call and i know like because like we we are getting older and i don't talk about it a lot and like i love getting older yeah um no but like having a young person gag at you just for being you was like a little disheartening no not to take it on like a serious note but like when women get married and have children you are looked at completely different by every single person in the world like all of my mom friends all went through identity crises if not still going through it like sorry it really like no matter what you're now you're just your mom your mom your wife oh you're just you're like disregarded like it changes your whole brand I tell people I'm married, one, to protect the brand.

22:54And two, because it's kind of a social experiment to see how they treat me. And then once I tell them I'm married, they always go, you don't seem like you're married. But that's also funny. It's like, so what do married people seem like? Yeah. Well, we don't make... Pussy jokes on stage? Well, we don't make our significant others ever our personality. Like, you've never posted, even before you got married, you never posted a boyfriend. I never posted a boyfriend on Instagram, like, even when I had one. Like, it's not, we're just, like, a little bit different, I feel like, in that. So, like, we de-center men.

23:27But it doesn't mean we don't want to have sex with them, you know? There was, shoot, I forget what video it was, but it was similar to my, like, opening Netflix joke where I was, like, I'm not afraid of aging. Like, I can't wait till age them unkidnappable. Like, how freeing that, like, you walk down the street and you know no man is going to try to, like, tie you up and put you in a van. and some lady was like i can't wait to get older you're telling me men won't want to have sex with me like sounds like a fucking dream yeah like don't tempt me with a good time like a quiet night it sounds like a quiet easy life so it's like de-centering also the idea of like that getting older means that like people don't it's good if people don't want to hang out with you i love it it's like i'm so happy to get to this point in my life in your 20s you can't get out of plans like I have to say like I'm like violently ill or like have a migraine where my 30s I could just be like I'm 30 sorry no 34 I can't go out no I literally my girlfriend asked me to hang out like with her husband like two weeks ago and I literally texted her back and I'm like Katie I'm so sorry I have to sleep and she's like no say no more she's like no take a night and sleep I'm like I can't when we're touring like or just existing I have almost only so much time in New York City I'm like oh I have to see my family yeah it's not even about balancing a social life anymore it's like sorry I have to call my mother I haven't talked to wait I have another gripe with the younger generations and this isn't even gen z it's the ones below those I don't ever want to get mixed up with them ever so the worst thing that can ever happen on your tiktok algorithm is when it gets into this weird funky algorithm where all the videos you have to read them oh no it's the worst especially for you it's like a girl it's like a girl like dancing and then it's all these white letters and I'm like oh where do I even start but I kept getting the same one like over and over and these girls were young and it would start out like if you told me you cheated on your if my best friend told me she cheated on her boyfriend he would be my next call but y 'all ain't ready for that conversation and I'm like I could I had to like reread it because I'm like I don't think she would take the boy's side so then I like keep getting them and like written in different ways and I'm like looking in the comments now it's a sign like now you're like I'm like, wait a minute.

25:56What are you idiots saying? You're like, carry the wand. So basically, Gen Alpha is saying that, like, they have this, like, really random morality, like, superiority complex. Okay. But they're basically saying that if your best friend cheats on her boyfriend and she tells you and you don't tell on her and you remain her friend, like, you're a bad person. Yes. Okay, first of all, when a woman cheats on a man, there's a reason. Totally. He deserved it. Yeah. When a man cheats on a woman, that was him having an impulsive, fucked up mistake. And you can never trust him again. Those are two very different situations.

26:41Hannah, you could call me and say, I've just murdered exactly one, two, eight people. And I would literally say your best friend for life. Like, what? I would be like, what did they do to you? Just tell me. And they could literally be like, oh, they like honked at me when I was walking across the street. And I'd be like, kill that guy. Kill that fucking guy. Like, I'm so shocked. And then I, then obviously because like I got looked through the comments. Then I started getting more videos about it. And it was all millennials being like, you guys are fucked. Also, it's not cheating when you're 13.

27:15Well, that was the other thing I was going to say. You guys are like in college. Also, cheating on your boyfriend when you're 22. Like, oh, get a fucking grip. Like, who cares? It's like everyone comes in with a like hometown boyfriend or girlfriend and then you cheat on them and then you learn that you aren't in love with them and going to marry them. Right. Obviously, if we're talking about like people are married, you're having full on a family. Like that is like a completely different situation. But in your like early 20s, I just couldn't imagine my friend calling me and saying anything and me calling her boyfriend.

27:50What I've learned. Or like me acting like I'm better than her. What I've learned is I don't take action when it comes to other people's relationships. I'll ask questions. I'll talk it through. I'll be a soundboard for them. But, like, you don't know what's going on. And I can vouch for you. Thank you. You don't know what is going on behind closed doors. As a friend. Thank you. As your friend where you helped me through, like, so many relationships, I've never known your actual feeling toward any man that I've dated unless I really really was like give me like your deepest feeling about this person but you you're so right you're very like inquisitive and you're like and do you think that sounds normal you're very like a teacher would do it you can't tell someone how they should feel and then also I don't know how you should feel right like so I'm actually also trying to get more information about it to be like do I have enough evidence to support my hypothesis you know what i mean like i have a hypothesis i have just like a moment that i get like is burnt in my brain and i don't even know what we were talking about but i remember we were sitting in a car all our memories are in a car and you looked at me and you go and do you think that's normal like it was such an obvious question you know when your friend starts asking you crazy shit that you have to be like whoa whoa whoa how did we get here this is a little bit too in the week but that's also like yeah you can't force someone to think a type of way you want to make them feel like it's their decision that's the deal with men also if my best friend if i'm 19 years old and my best friend calls me and she's like i cheated on my boyfriend last night first i'm getting all the tea yeah like what yeah so these kids can't even gossip Did you have fun?

29:40Like, what did you do? Where'd you meet him? What happened? Like, what? What was the move? Insane. The kids are insane these days. Well, they're also saying the kids aren't having sex, so no one's cheating on anyone. What is it? Holding hands? Well, they're going to have no friends either. Yeah. It's like, okay, do you want to fuck him? Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. I don't think you should ever talk to your best friend's boyfriend unless it's necessary. yeah unless you're getting evidence unless you're like prying unless you're stuck in a third wheel situation anything of me and does have ever had a one-on-one convo you like just got each other's numbers but you guys are we just met you're like you're too powerful together like your energies are too similar we're so scorpio that i was like leaving hannah's thing and i was walking past des and like said hi or said bye and then i was like oh i should hug des but we both were like should we hug?

30:36We're like not about the hug. It was making me laugh so much because you were my two prickly grumpy babies and I just wanted to to squeeze you both. And we sat next to each other the whole time. Did you feel like you were watching your daughter? In the same position. No well it was so funny because people would come in and they'd be like oh Hannah's husband does and I'm like okay well I'm with her like probably the same amount if not more I'm her partner. Like I was being introduced as your podcast partner. And I was like, it's more than that. It's life partner. You could just say partner. You don't need to put a podcast in there.

31:15This is her husband, but I'm her partner. Just podcast. That's like fucked up. That's so fucked up. This is the season of giving and Majori makes it so easy. You can gift yourself, your mom, your sister, your friend. And with Majori's curated gift guide, it takes the stress out of holiday shopping and it actually makes it fun to check everyone off your list. Majori uses only the finest materials from 14 karat gold and sterling silver to diamonds and gemstones. And they prioritize sustainable practices and exceptional quality. So you can wear your pieces with confidence knowing they're made to last.

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32:15Also, did you see what my friend Haley Bieber posted? No. She posted crazy nails. I didn't see it. What were they? Everyone was different, different colors. I think there was a fish involved. It's so you guys. No, but I'm like worried for our nation. Like I think it's a recession indicator that Kaylee Bieber is going nuts on the nails. I mean, I also don't want her to like enable me like that. Like don't open up the floodgates because then I'll start getting like crazy. This was me trying to be restrained. Also, I need to get my nails done. They've grown out. Well, like when Haley does something, I feel like everyone does it.

32:53So do you think all the girls are going to go nutso now with like 3D nails? I mean, I think like nail art has been like having a moment for a while. I think, and I think it is like such a fun, like easy way to express yourself. But I, for me personally, like I can see something just so much before I'm like, oh, see ya. Yeah. And like when things are super busy and you're looking down, like then it makes my point. You hate a pattern. I hate a pattern. Like your sweater right now is like actually making me nauseous. Like what in the Blu-ray DVD screens? is this goddamn cardigan i've been literally wanting to ask since we sat down where did you find this cardigan um it's vintage missoni oh is it okay can you apologize to missoni no because it's not your favorite word no i can't i can't apologize to them i don't like patterns either unless it's a sweater this looks like if you put on 3d glasses it would do something cool This looks like right when you're about to throw up what you see.

34:00This looks like third tequila shot when you start to fall.

34:07When a guy tries to kiss you and you don't know what he looks like, this is what you see. Yeah. What were we just saying? We were talking about nails.

34:19Speaking of crazy shit, though, have you seen Pluribus? No. Do you know what a pluribus is? No. Neither do I. What is it? It's a new show on HBO. It's like in the severance spot. Okay. And it was by the Breaking Bad guy. Sorry, this is like male stuff that I heard, like not on purpose, but I'm repeating it. It already is like 100 % around tomatoes. It's a really cool, like, I don't want to say sci-fi because I don't want to freak people out because it's about like normal people. Okay. But it's like a little apocalyptic. it's a little bit about like some disease that happens in the world and it changes everyone's perspective about things i've been watching the new dakota fanning show what is it it's on peacock and it's called all her fault and it's like eight episodes it's like a mystery like thriller but it's really good the girl from succession's in it oh cool i love it's very good i have dakota no I love Dakota no she's everything people don't talk about like she's been famous her whole life people don't talk about how hard it is to be famous with bangs people can't even see your face that's iconic but to like have that long of a career like she's been working consistently since she was like six.

35:35Yeah. And her sister. Yeah. Who's her sister? Her sister is Elle Fanning and she's in like all different... I'm a big Fanning twin. Wait. Fanning sisters fan. Dakota's sister is not Elle Fanning. Yes. Dakota Fanning is Elle Fanning's sister to different people. Yeah, they're sisters. Dakota Fanning and Elle Fanning are sisters. Yeah, but Dakota Johnson is who you're talking about. No, I'm talking about Dakota Fanning. We've been talking about the wrong Dakota the whole time. No, you have. What? I was like, that's Dakota Johnson the whole time. Yeah, you're stupid. I keep doing it. You can get on the spot.

36:15All you say is that I can't read, and everyone thinks I'm the dumb one. But in fact, you're sitting here with a laser pointer sweater, and you can't differentiate Dakotas. I do have to say to defend you, you are dumb. but then sometimes you say shit that's so smart it like freaks me out and that's my superpower just when i like yeah just when you think you've got me figured out i hit you with some type of sat word or something and i'm like okay she's fucking knows what's going on she's just pretending um okay sorry i was like i guess dakota johnson's been around a long time well Dakota Johnson that's why you were like what are you talking about you know Dakota Johnson is related to the rock Johnson no way I was just kidding but no L Dakota Dakota Fanning yeah she took a break yeah which by the way love recommend it for everyone I wonder why and I'm so happy she's back like a Hilary Duff yeah yeah like her and Hilary Duff they've never been like in the media like they're drug addicts they're party they're out all night yeah they're just they've had very good reputation it is cool though to be like i'm gonna take a break and then whenever you feel like it be like okay i want to go be the hallowed star yeah again but like she well that's just like talent she has talent dakota fanning was like a freak genius do you remember war the worlds you didn't even know who she was two seconds ago now you're gonna quiz me on what on world the world whatever she has bangs so that's why i got away with that comment they both did yeah they both have bangs okay okay anyhow speaking of bangs wait i didn't even say what i was gonna say about them because we got into this whole tangent oh my god hannah you always do this okay dakota and al fanning did this did like one of those vanity fair lie detector things and i just feel like we have to do one of those no like any any buddy comedy that we haven't done seems like an attack on us yeah like we have to do that so anyway that's all i wanted to say it would be like a hannah and paige try new things and it's just lie detectors it's just us asking the most what's your social security number we just ask each other like stupid questions like did you really like my outfit that time that you said that you did well we know the answer like just like funny things that you want to know from your friend that you'll never say Is there a lie detector?

38:45I don't think so. I don't know. I feel like I know a guy. I'm sure there's some girlfriend somewhere that has looked into it and has been like, you know what? Oh, my God. Okay, so I had a moment, and I was, like, in the city, and I was like, I want to bring back my street interviews for one night with the boys. And you know what question I asked them? Have you ever gone through a girl's phone? Phenomenal question. Isn't that crazy? Because, like, I've never been around a guy and I'm like, they're not going through my phone. Like, for some reason, I'm like, they don't know how to. Yeah. But the men, I got a wide variety of answers.

39:24A lot of them were like, no, I don't know how to open a phone. And then some were like, yeah, but girls are smart. They're not just leaving their texts that obvious. One guy was like, this girl had it in her Gmail and then it was a whole thing. Well, guys would never go in at first because they would never want that coming back onto them where then you could go in theirs. They're not that stupid. They're not even opening that can of worms. They're not even broaching the subject. That's like Lily Allen when she was like, I looked at a photo and the way you took it back from me, I knew you cheated on me.

39:57Like that's the most girl shit ever. Yeah, girls go by pure vibes and aura. When you looked at his phone, he took it back. The technique and the rushing. I've seen profile pictures and been like, it's her. And been like spot on. And I'm like, yeah, and that's exactly his type. It's crazy. I've been listening to the Lily album. Wait, have you ever gone through a phone? This is so embarrassing. I've never gone through a phone. It's not embarrassing. That's probably, like, the right way to be. You, like, you, like. Two types of girls. Girls who, like, get off on going through a phone versus. Yeah.

40:30I did have one guy back in the day. You, like, respect privacy. I don't respect privacy. I just respect, like. Where, like, if you're dating me. Sorry, you live in Russia. it's my rules there's zero privacy any money you make has to go immediately to me early on with des like our second time hanging out he was this is so not to age him but like he showed me the new york times crossword puzzle on his phone and he was like getting all of them i'm like how do you know all these 80s references and he's like i do so like then he would every like couple hours if we're on the phone he would give me his phone to play the new york times game because it was a subscription model.

41:10I was going to pay$6 a month for a game that I wasn't good at. Right. So, like, early on in a relationship, I always had his phone. And there's something, like, hot about that. Yeah. And there's something hot about, like, not – I think it's because, like, you kind of like the drama a little more than me. A little. I love it. I thrive on it. Like, I really want to be, like, a Justin. I go looking for problems. I did have a guy that I did think had a drug addiction. so I could figure it out for you I knew when he his phone would go off late at night it was his drug dealer so then I just looked at him I was like is your drug dealer calling you like I didn't even look at it and he was like yeah and I was like okay but I need to go through his phone because no girl's calling him at 2 p.m.

41:55he was passed out high like I've I've cracked iPhones I've cracked iPads I've gotten computer passwords I've blocked people from other people's phone like I've done it all and do you want to know one thing I'll say I don't regret a single second this is my question after you see something you didn't want to see yeah how quickly do you address it or do you even address it totally situational it all depends really what's going through my mind that at that point is like you are a witch you knew exactly what you were coming to look for you knew it was there you just needed the evidence I'd love to be someone that's like super strategic I'm trying like I haven't even done it in so many years do you see it and then you go okay we're broken up it depends on what it is it depends on my menstruation like there's so many factors i wish i could be someone that could like sit in it and be like let me plan how i'm like broaching this yeah but i'm not i'm one of those people that's like found it screenshotting it from like my own phone or sending it to myself and then immediately being like do you have something to tell yeah i'll fucking kill you or doing the whole yeah like do you want to tell me something yeah and he's like how'd you find out don't worry about it don't worry about it no i'm very open i went through your phone you dumb motherfucker and i'll go through it again my favorite thing though would be when people when men would be like you don't respect my privacy i'm like and you don't respect my vagina like Like, what are we talking about here?

43:29What are you, the FBI? And this is, I'm leaking your data? Shut up. No, I don't respect your privacy. No, it's basically saying you don't respect me cheating. And it's like, yeah, I don't respect you cheating. Yeah, and be better at it. Like, what? Not to be all like, oh, but I feel like the second I feel like I need to look at his phone, it's over. Yeah. I love the adrenaline. My favorite story you ever told was how you say when you look through a guy's phone. I have to shit myself. You have to shit yourself. because we were talking about laxative i have to do it in a bathroom i was like stand-up comedy's a laxative running's a laxative and you're like going through someone's phone you have to do it on the toilet you have to your body just no your body thinks there's a lion chasing you and it needs to reject every all your innards if i could give one piece of advice if you're constipated go through a guy's phone and yeah go through a man's phone but make sure you're doing it in a bathroom i was thinking how back in the day guys got in trouble a lot or girls with facebook messaging because people would leave their face they wouldn't log out so you could if you go on your computer yeah their page would could be could be up so people got in trouble with facebook messaging a lot yes i've caught someone on facebook messaging yeah but then nowadays um instagram is fucking well you know my favorite used to be an instagram took it away you could see like the people like yeah i could have solved multiple murders a man took that down yeah a man at meta was like hey this isn't working out for me anymore kept my life going you know the women in meta were fighting for that to stay that was crazy that was my favorite feature of all time that's why you weren't going to classes you were just refreshing to see his activities and see his moves also are guys fucking stupid yes i mean what also if your man ever commented a fire emoji i don't care if he was single if he's commenting fire emojis on girls photos that have like over 300 ,000 followers based on their hotness I don't trust him you know what's funny is I've actually never dealt with this I feel like because I would I would feel like we were a little bit too old maybe like I've never dealt with a boyfriend that's followed like a bunch of like Instagram models or like even like a lot of girls in general but I feel like my TikTok I get a lot of girls being like it's embarrassing guys don't see it guys don't get what we're saying when we say like unfollow these girls or you're liking these girls pictures how like it's so embarrassing for us and that I would not be able to deal with because it is embarrassing yeah because it may it tells like other girls he's saying like yeah i could be persuaded at any time yeah i also i think with the tiktok feed i was laughing though like i'd rather a guy fully have just like boobs all over his algorithm than him having just like alpha male red pill type stuff oh yeah like your hype value man like a phrase like if it's all of that yeah i need a guy to have some boobs on the explore page just that they know that just another alive just to know the blood 100 they don't need medical attention like people get mad like oh there's like a hot girl i'm like yeah tiktok knows he's straight like that's all i want yeah i want that and like some sports bullshit yeah i just want like a man talking about that and like steven a smith's voice somewhere i'm like all good we're good you're straight i'm happy perfect yeah because it's the thing if you tell him not to occasionally stop at a like we've all had weirded things on all our algorithms like vacuum shit just because you watched it an extra like six seconds yeah so like don't get mad at that what do you want him to watch nothing nothing actually stare into the fucking ceiling i want him to read more most of us know we should take control of our finances but it's so hard to know where to start Rocket Money gives you the clarity and confidence to take that first step, helping you cut wasteful spending and take meaningful action toward your financial goals.

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48:15Go to rocketmoney.com slash giggly squad today. That's rocketmoney.com slash giggly squad rocketmoney.com slash giggly squad I listened to all of Lilian's album on the plane It's such a different experience when you're like in your headphones just sitting in it Holy shit, that's an incredible album And I've never been cheated on And you felt, did you feel like justice? You've never been cheated on? Not that I know of That's a whole separate thing I know, not that I know of That's why you're so trusting so you're so caring and you believe that everyone has a good side i know that wasn't my trauma for this lifetime it wasn't your cross to bear it wasn't my cross they were like you're good and the okay well it seems as though i was a fucked up person in my last life i don't relate to you no um but the lily allen stuff it's more i like that every song was like different i love that she had a perspective um how many songs in her album it's like 14 and they're all good wow is she our age how old is she which age are we talking me when i'm 27 no like our our i think she's 40 biological age i think she's oh okay but again what i love about her too is she just was like i'm gonna just be a girl right now yeah she's like i'm coming back and i'm actually i'm gonna do it i'm gonna be famous again it just shows you one day you could literally not be doing what you love and the next thing you can be and by what you love it's just singing about men who hurt you life takes twists and turns exactly so remember when I was like I want a picture for over my bed but I just want like a giggler yes I got tagged in eight million things I I couldn't go through all of them there's so first of all there's so many talented gigglers so I'm looking through all this stuff I'm on Instagram I'm on TikTok and I keep getting tagged in this one tiktok so i like click it and this girl her name is sophia i'll put the picture in the newsletter and i'll put it on giggly squad and tag her so you guys can like look at her other art it's perfect she painted a girl with brown hair like laying in a bed and it's like blues and whites i bought it she mailed it to me and i hung it up and it's in my apartment and that's that's women in the arts and the stem yeah women in stem um that's amazing you guys within the giggler community we can do anything this is also the craziest thing what then i'm on a flight and my flight attendant was like friends with her sister the gigglers are all connected and they're all over the world and it's scary they're all over the world but they also feel like it's just eight girls no literally she's like you know so yeah and i'm like which of course so ali colber who i'm in the road with it just keeps making fun of like how the gigglers say hi to me yeah how like it's not that they're not excited they just like like they know me yeah they're used to me in the airport they're just like hey hannah what's up and ali's like i can't tell if you know them or you don't and i'm like well i don't not right like i know who's a giggler and who's not.

51:24Yeah. And how the gigglers are just like, hey, hand. No, I was in the Toronto airport the other day. And this one girl was like walking by me. And she was like, her flight had just gotten canceled to United States. And she was going on a bachelorette party. And she was like, my flight got canceled. And I can't go on my friend's bachelorette. And in my head, every giggler is my friend. I'm like, oh, my God, you're so lucky. And I was like, I'm sorry. I did not mean that. She's my sister. I'm sure she's lovely. I'm sure you're looking forward to this trip. That was also just you in your 30s. Like any idea of a cancellation gets my heart fluttering.

52:03I was like, so you're getting in an Uber to go back to your own apartment to get in the bath? Like that's a dream. No, but then I felt bad internally. And I was like, well, why don't you FaceTime your friend? And then we chatted. And now you're on The Bachelorette. yeah but that's my dream is to not have to go i saw us on tiktok they say millennials when we're making a big purchase we pull out the laptop yeah even when i actually have to write a bit like an important email see i've gotten more used to like buying flights on my phone like because you have your app so like i don't pull out my computer for like flights anymore but if it's a lot of flights i do it on the computer but one I'll do on my phone yes but if I have to write like okay like earlier today I had to write an email to my lawyer and I was like I can't do it on my phone I have to get my computer like I have to like sit down and type it I also feel like it's a flex sometimes with work stuff when I write like really quick emails on my phone because it makes it seem like I'm running to meetings like in between meetings I'm not available like well have you heard that thing where it's like the most successful people respond.

53:18Responding emails the fastest. Immediately. I respond immediately. You really do. I do. You're like, not well, but I'm responding. See, I'm like, I'm so picky and choosy. Like there are some emails where like I'm immediately responding and then there's other ones where I'm like. Well, I respond and then it sits and eventually they're like, does Paige have anything to say about this? And I go, you don't speak directly to her. I will speak to her. And then I sidebar with you. I actually have on my to-do list written down for when I saw you today ask you about a particular email. And I'm like, Hannibal, no.

53:50I'm the sidebar. Wait, Grace, when you make big purchases, do you do it on your computer? But Grace is millennial coded. Chris, do you? You do it on your computer? I'm taking it out to write an email. You're a little millennial coded too. Honestly, you guys have been hanging with us too much. They've lost their edge. Chris is going to come in with a cane. He's like, this kid. They're so loud. Oh, God. Anywho. Anywho. I have one cat-related story. Okay.

54:28That wasn't even the funny part, guys. Stay professional, you Gen Z. Okay, do you remember we talked about how if you left the door open, your cat wouldn't run out? Okay, of, like, the house? Yeah. Yeah. Are you sure? You're just saying that. Do I remember it? Not really. I think like three weeks ago we talked about it. Okay. And then last week it was super windy at my house. And I wake up in the morning and Butter's normally like cuddled warm like on my shoulder. And she's nowhere to be found. And I'm like that's weird. But you know I'm hirkle-dirkling and scrolling. Eventually I get up and I walk up into the living room and there's like this wind.

55:08And I realize one of the doors flew open. Yeah. Into the backyard. so it was wide open with just winds coming through so i immediately had that moment where i'm like oh my god i have to cancel pilates i lost my cat yeah and then like downstairs like where upstairs okay and i was like oh then it reminded me of that conversation where you were like cats are not dumb enough just go outside and i go there's no way better but it was open all night yeah all night so then i just i go let me just before i freak out yeah let's go to her spouse Yes. We're going to go. Let's make an appointment with Butter.

55:47Let's see if she's available right now. One doubt, you look under the bed. Yeah. So I look under the bed. She's literally in the corner looking at me like, Mom, shut that fucking door. The door is open. You're freaking me the fuck out. I knew you could be a homeowner. You literally suck at it. The door has been open all night. She's like, I'm not fixing it, but I don't want to be anywhere near that. But where is, so anyway, Butter didn't run away, which shows, she loves me or she's just smart? She's just smart. No, definitely. I'll open my door and I'll have it open for like an extended period of time because I'm like bringing in packages or like whatever.

56:24And she'll just stand there and like peek out and be like, ew. You guys live disgusting out there. There is a New York City culture though where some people let their cats occasionally go into the hallways in an apartment complex, which I've dabbled in. Every now and then I'll be like, Butter. and I let her go out and then she runs him. And there are other cats, but I don't know if they're ready to be. I don't trust that. It's very Love is Blind. No. It stays behind the door. I don't trust that. Well, Daphne's still recovering from the summer. And all the kittens she met. The part of having a cat is that you don't have to deal with what dog people deal with, and that's people stopping and wanting to pet the dog, and then you have to have a small talk with that person.

57:05I don't fucking think so. So if my dog's like roaming around the hallways and someone opens their door and they go in there, I'm not knocking on someone's door and being like, can I have my cat back? Have you ever had someone get mad at you for kind of like petting their dog, even though their dog like jumped on you? Like some people's dogs will come up to you and then you'll be like, OK, and they'll be like, excuse me. And I'm like, but your dog is humping my leg. Your dog's talking to me. And I'm actually, that's rude. Your dog called me by name. No, but I have. It gets weird. No, but I'm going to be honest.

57:40Like if a dog comes up to me and like jumps on me, if I think that dog is ugly, I'm backing up. If I think that dog is cute, I'm getting down and also reciprocating. I don't have equal love for all dogs. You know, if the dog is cute, I'm kissing it on the mouth. So like if your dog jumps up on me and it's like bigger and ugly, I'm actually mad at you. Because I don't know you or your dog. So don't jump on me. One thing I do like about dogs is some of them really make me laugh. Like you know when they look silly? Yeah. And they're walking and they're just like goofy, silly. And they look human.

58:12No, I don't like that. Scary. Yeah. But sometimes they have like ugly, like very ugly dogs really make me laugh. And I feel bad because I'll start laughing at them. But I'm not like laughing and like in their face. It's more like a like appreciation for them. For them being ugly. For them being so cute and happy. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, you don't even know you're ugly. They don't know how they look. That must be nice.

58:35no i can't talk about cats and dogs anymore because people get really upset wait no but i think we really we did offend some people we offended the dog no i had a lot of girls in my dm being like okay but this is samson and i'm like i don't care you know i don't give a shit it's funny because they know that they think that you're still turnable see me no one was messaging me about their dogs we love all dogs and cats and animals and people okay we love them all i'm schmitz saying merry christmas um wait i know what your sweater looks like it's been driving me nuts the whole i know what it looks like too what are you gonna say who is that halloween character

59:20that's like the menace child don't they wear like blue and red stripe white chucky Chucky can you oh yeah because I've red hair can you google the t-shirt that Chucky wears is it like red and purple yeah god it was literally driving me nuts and scene and it's been a great week gigglers better luck next time also side note I'm going to Texas three shows this weekend Austin Houston Dallas so get with it get with it love you bye you