Giggling about sourdough, supplements, and sex scenes

0:15I just need you guys to know that Paige just sneezed and said okay now we're cleared and ready to go I can't even I have not been this stuff here's the thing I'm if I was a man I'd be like I'm dying I have to go to the hospital but because I'm a woman I've worked full days you know you're like I'm working overtime it's a Sunday I had to like catch up on things one thing I do want to say and this is not an ad honest company makes these tissues called sniffer soothers oh they've changed my whole life i love that you've become a flu influencer you're on tiktok telling people to put vix vapor rub into their brain by the way you're gonna get you're gonna get sued you can't just tell people to like stick vix vapor rub up their ass there's gonna be infection wait who is the company that emailed me and they were like please stop who was that oh because you were saying you use something for a different thing i feel like i low-key have so much to say on this pod but i like i can't get anything out okay should i start with a story okay are you still ordering overeats i swear to god wow that felt really good i needed that cough i needed that sneeze 20 seconds ago here's one thing before you tell your story i'm obsessed with botox i got too much in my chin i can't move my fucking bottom lip and i love it I literally thought I was having a stroke last night.

1:45I was like, wait, is one side of my face drooping? Nope. Allison just did a little bit too much in the chin. But I fucking love it. I'm obsessed. Wait, did you get your chin before? Yeah, I did. Okay. So it's like a refill? Well, I went back and like got some more done, you know, because it was time for my check-in. And she was like, did we hit your chin last time? And I was like, we did. And so she did it again. and I think maybe just like a like a little a little bit too much because now my bottom lip goes to one side but I'm like obsessed with it and I knew this was going to happen and now I'm like freeze my whole god damn face.

2:29Proceed with your story. If you're not on YouTube watching Paige's eyes are like all red and swollen but her forehead is so perfect and shiny right now well she looks gorgeous i took a bath today i washed up i really needed it um i am gonna blow my nose quickly let's see your nose if you want to see my snipping technique as an as a flu influencer how's the best way to blow your nose okay she's taking her long fingers oh she goes back and forth she doesn't do one at a time she goes but but but but interesting Somebody tagged me in a TikTok that said Queen Elizabeth I had like the longest fingers ever.

3:11I think they were like three inches, three and a half inches or something. And they became the beauty standard in England. And everybody wanted long fingers. People are getting finger extensions. Yep. They were like wearing gloves and all of this stuff. And so I just want to put that out there in the ether. They were stuffing. Yeah. They were stuffing their gloves. Wait, maybe you're her reincarnated. Maybe. That would actually answer a lot of things. Well, it says that if you have long fingers, you're that girl. You're in Charlie. You're bossing people around. You're part of the bloodline. You could also catch a football with one hand.

3:50As you guys know, I'm on tour without Paige fighting for my life. Yeah, where are you? So right now, I'm in New York City. Okay. But I... Oh, okay, so you're at home. I was supposed to be in Durham and Charlotte and Nashville, but they got canceled because of the storm. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. And down there, they're like freak out. Yeah, they can't go out. Southern girlies were like, hi, Hannah, please read. Bless your heart. Read my DM. I cannot be out here in the ice. I don't care if it's one foot of snow. We're shutting down. We have power outages. We can't do this. So I said, fuck this. I'm not having people fight for their lives to get to my show.

4:28Next week, I'm going to be in Milwaukee. Milwaukee and where else? Sorry, I'm blanking. Indianapolis. But I've had like pretty good travel up until this last weekend. I had one show in Atlanta. The only show that didn't get canceled was Atlanta. So I flew in. And then after my show, I see that there's a 10.30 p.m. flight. And I said, look, she's a jet setter. She's crazy. Got off stage. Yeah. Got back in the car and said, send me home. And look, I stayed on the stage a little longer, but I was feeling myself. I was having fun. The Atlanta Gigglers were amazing. And I get in the car and there's some traffic, but I'm not.

5:14I'm not worried. You know why? Because I'm a professional. I have clear. I have pre-check. I was just going to say, are you flying Delta? Well, that's the thing. That's the thing. Have you ever heard of Frontier? Mm-hmm. I've never really heard of Frontier. So I was optimistic going in Green logo, green is positivity Wealth This will go well Turns out also the Atlanta airport, the biggest airport There's a north and a southern hemisphere Hemisphere And the lady's like, is it north or south? I'm like, of what? First of all, I don't know what north is A couple airports I'm not fucking with Atlanta and Denver I'm going seven hours early And both those airports love a train They love to throw you on a train now atlanta is like the hub for a lot of international flights so it is necessary and i respect like the women of the arts that work there however i get in and i get to the security girl everything's smooth and she's like oh we don't have your frontier flight and i'm like that's crazy so then i go back to frontier come back and they're like oh yeah sorry it was our system so already i'm like okay that's a little weird fine get to security you're the only person i know that like can fully go through the airport and they're like hannah burner never heard of her i go it's on my phone i go did the flight get canceled they go no and i go then what's going on never heard of her so then i get to i get to security they let me through and i go where's um where's pre-check and they go oh after 9 p.m in atlanta there's no pre-check or um the other mom clear clear i said i didn't know that we had a curfew because mama needs to get home oh okay keep going so when i tell you the line was it said 20 minutes on the thing and it was one of these mazes that like you didn't even know where the line started and ended like it was and my phone of course is at eight percent so i'm like of course i have to raw dog this line to be able to get there so it's 9 55 boarding's at 10 0 5 and the plane closes at 10 30 okay so i'm just thinking door close you gotta make it by door close i feel like door closes 10 15 minutes before takeoff no anyway you're in a pickle okay keep going and you're i'm looking around and i realize like i can't care in this like everyone else is also in a pickle with me like everyone is worried about getting on their flight no one anticipated a 30 minute wait at 10 p.m in atlanta what did they shut down the clear like machine yeah no i was like i'll do it i'll fucking start scanning people what do you need so i'm just waiting there can't look at my phone because i can't have it lose battery and i'm waiting i'm waiting i'm waiting it gets to like 10 15 and the doors close at 10 30 and there's no other flights after this babe like this is and you got one shot do not miss your chance to blow did you have this opportunity comes once in oh sorry i'm quoting sorry i know sorry sorry i didn't mean to cut you off that was my bad sorry i was trying to do a monologue what would you did you have a flight for saturday no no girl you got one shot do not miss your chance to blow i should listen so it's 10 15 i have 15 minutes and i'm like okay i'm gonna make it and then i realize i don't know where my gate is i'm in the fucking atlanta airport it could be anywhere now mind you i don't get recognized too much at um by airport security because it's mostly men so i don't i don't get like vip treatment yeah but i i get to the front and we're putting we finally are putting our luggage through wait remember the time that giggler let me come back into america from canada and i like didn't i have bronchitis you fully do before you die let me finish this story before you black out so i realized i have 10 minutes and i'm putting my stuff down and this this guy just looks at me working there and he goes do i know your face from somewhere and normally when people say they know you but they can't put their finger on it i'm not giving you a resume i say i'm not here being like well you know i did do i had a stint on reality tv now it's on peacock i think i don't know what you could stream it have you heard of betches before i go i also have these street videos online also have you heard a page because people like our friendship do you do my chance watch the hot wing challenge

10:09i go i did win the trophy i did people don't talk about it people don't bring it up ever wait you're so right you didn't get enough praise for that no so then i i look at him and i go yes i'm a comedian and he goes oh my god and i go also my flight sorry it's so loud i go my flight do you know i read the wrong ads i read the ads for last week and grace texted me goes you read the wrong ads and i go i'm really sick and she goes okay i'll do some okay keep going so i say by the way the door is closing on my flight in 10 minutes and he goes don't worry i'll get you through takes my luggage and puts it in front of everyone and i'm like this be my this must be my fucking lucky day as i'm walking through all cocky feeling myself looking at everyone i'm like what's up losers yeah i realize fuck this morning i put the water from the flight in my backpack oh so this guy's like so i'm literally watching and i go there's water there's water and the guys look at me like you dumbass yeah no it has to go back through so it had to go back through so it literally was a net zero yeah um but i was like i love you so much then i go how long until i get to c7 he goes with no drama six minutes what could the drama possibly be i have to get on a train oh so i have seven minutes i have six minutes but there's seven minutes yeah yeah yeah i have to make it in six minutes so first i walk down the train says it's two minutes away when the fuck has the train ever been two minutes away i think that's never happened to me ever god damn subway trying to get to brooklyn also do you know how long two minutes feels when like i felt like i was holding a plank i felt like i was having the worst sex in my life i was like when is every second gonna be over i'm from looking around i'm freaking i'm tweaking i get on it's three stops and i have seven minutes so and i'm just checking my phone which is dying by the way my phone's dead so then i finally get off i have three minutes to get to c7 and it's and it's c1 to c40 and i go please god have c7 be close you know i always see people like you in the airport and i always think how did they get what decision did they make what happened earlier today that they're running full speed i also didn't preface this for you i'm in my full outfit that i wore on stage i'm wearing a tie i'm wearing my high-waisted what are they called cummerbatches cummerbuns a cummerbun some yeah cummerbun and my amazon high boots with heels so you didn't so you didn't change in the car into like sweats and sneakers why didn't you change in the green room because in my head well i ran i didn't go the green room i ran out onto the car and in my head i was like i'll be there 30 minutes early and i'll do it peacefully in one of the small bathroom stalls where you like can't even move um also mind you to get to the walking place you have to go up the longest escalator in the history of escalators and me and this other girl i can see we both are like she starts running right and i'm behind her we're holding our luggage grown women holding our luggage running up the escalator and then she starts getting too tired because this is a long escalator and she literally looks at me and she was like save yourself like i can't i can't go on and i was like my god well i'll tell them to wait and she was like c4 and i was like okay ma 'am this is like saving private ryan like i'm running up and i see that i have three minutes to get from of course c7 is at the far end so i have to go from c40 to c7 in three minutes it's possible but i need to do high knees i would have cried i would have been crying i start running do you know we talked about the mile test yeah i was back in college 6 a.m running the mile fighting for my life i feel like we talk about something on here and we're like that'll never happen again and then the universe is like you manifested it here it is Paige, do you know when you're like running late for something?

14:44I don't know if you'd ever go into a jog if you're running late. I feel like you would just lay down. No, you want to know what I do is I speed walk, speed walk, speed walk, stop. Walk normal. Speed walk, speed walk, speed walk. So I do this all the time in New York, but I'll run, then stop. So imagine when you're running and you feel like you need to stop and then saying, Hannah, you got one shot. Do not miss your chance to blow. So I'm running to the point where I start feeling like blood in my throat. Have you ever run? Oh my God. Yes. I know you're talking. I'm dying. And I'm looking at my phone.

15:15And it's at 1029. Doors close at 1030. And I'm literally still like five gates away. And I'm dead. Like I do not have the cardio for this. I do not have the cardio. In heels? This is crazy. Pilates does not help you with cardio. I'm just going to say it in case anyone was confused. But I do have a good pelvic tilt. Anyway, so I'm running. I'm running. And I'm dying. I'm sweating. I'm breathing so heavy I'm starting to make like asthmatic noises I'm like so and then I see that there's people at the gate but I'm assuming it's because like the next flight is already ready to go so I sprint and I look at my phone and it's 10 30 on the dot and I go to the guy and he goes what are you here for and I'm like then my I have to go to the you're like my flight you're like take me home and he looks at me and goes oh we already shut the doors and i go i i take my phone i go but it's 10 30 you said doors close at 10 30 and he's like yeah we already closed it and i look at him and he looks at me and then he pauses for like three seconds he goes just kidding the flight's delayed in that moment i realized not only have I've been punked by a man by a man.

16:33And I don't, I don't like when men make jokes, especially when your crowd having enough problems that you've got to start beeping with me. Like, isn't your club in enough hot water? I was at my lowest point and he took a fucking dagger and stabbed me. So then people around, you know, and that's what they do. And that's what they do. That's what they do. They talk about punching down. um so i'm but i also feel a mix of emotions because part of me is like great i got i i didn't miss it but then part of me is like that was fucked up and then part of me is also like oh no how long am i gonna have to wait we had to wait like two and a half hours i got home at like 3 30 a.m i got mcdonald's at like 1 a.m at the airport it was kind of fabulous wait that's low-key kind of sofa did you change well then after that i was like okay i need to change i go to change but i i didn't catch my breath yeah for 40 minutes yeah i at one point was lying down on the ground was there anyone else in the airport probably not were there there were not that many people yeah um if any gigglers saw me at the atlanta airport on i believe friday night that was the kind of backstory what a story and actually woke up my thighs are burning like so sore um i'm traumatized i it was the whole thing i just i wouldn't wish i'm oh then i get on the flight sorry i'm not dumb frontier is a bunch of animals okay and all kinds of animals by the way the girl next to me and i say girl lightly she was 19 okay was putting her foot on my armrest which i was using obviously so she kept kicking my elbow when i was trying to sleep and i was like ma 'am like i kept doing the like kind of turn and she just kept doing it and then the woman in front of me 19 is that gen z 19 i think it's alpha but the woman in front of me was humming the whole time and i know it sounds nice and sweet it wasn't i was trying to sleep and you just hear like i don't even know what song you're humming which is throwing me off it's actually like it really was pissing me off and then there was a midwestern couple on the left who were talking like this every single thing they're gonna do on their vacation they had to talk about and it was like you're sitting next to each other why are we yelling pleasantries at each other you're married What do you possibly have to talk about at a 1 a.m.

19:07flight? Wait, that's crazy on a 1 a.m. flight. And you had to pay for water. No, I know. It was so – We're not doing well over here. We're not doing well. But anyway, I made it, and I'm so excited for tour. St. Louis, Missouri, I'm coming. Anyway, what's going on with you? A quick word from my sponsor, Aquaphor. Oh, wait, you got the thick one. okay they're not actually a sponsor but let me influence you on something else when you're sick you have to have the aquaphor balm stick for the winter because if you live in a cold climate putting chapstick just on your lips isn't gonna freaking cut it so you have you're putting it all over i'm putting it right here honey what is it called do you remember slugging remember when you were like obsessed with that is that how you slug this is probably like cross contamination but i don't give a fuck i mean this is the thing you are influencing everyone but you also are not getting better so i feel like everyone should take it with a grain of salt she's like choking on herself she's like this has been amazing yep yep um fun update in the giggly squad community yeah a giggler dm me and said she named her sourdough starters hannah and page i have actually had a couple of those um because my last name disorbo the girls are really innovative on how they make it a sourdough to sour they're smart about it yeah something like that starter i love that if one of your goals for 2026 is to be healthier then why don't we kick off the new year with AG1.

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21:40Wait, I saw something the other day. You know how, you know, you know how we're always like oh sometimes you go and you watch a video and you're like that was crazy let me check the comments everyone must think that's crazy and they don't and they're like really agreeing and i always am like i have to remember that example to tell hannah because we never have like a good example i saw a tiktok video and it was this girl being like why do we need sex scenes they're like so intrusive they're like so much like like okay just allude to the fact that like they're having sex like I don't need like a full sex scene and I was like surely this is rage bait like no sex scene in a like certain movies was she Amish just Gen Z I go into the I go into the comments and they're like seriously especially when like the scene starts out as like they're having sex and i'm like that's every great movie bridesmaids hello greatest movie of all time i'm like kristin wig on top of john ham thank you give me 27 of them right now the fucking loop i'm like are you kidding me like there are some there are some movies that i'm like i will do you remember my stint with 365 i mean hello also i don't know grow up like if i'm watching a love affair movie and they don't show a little i want to be like Like judging the chemistry was the casting, right?

23:06It's also just like you're watching a fucking movie. It's not real life. And sex is part of life. And life is art. And art is movies. And sex is movies. And it made me think like, oh my God, are they so... I think maybe the girl was even younger. Now I'm like, maybe it is Gen Alpha. Are they so not socialized with each other that they don't even... Because also the teen pregnancy rate is down. And I know that everyone thinks it's a good thing. But you know what? We've got a bunch of losers out there. They're not even going out and having sex. A part of high school, a peak canon event in high school is thinking you're pregnant when you like haven't even really had sex.

23:48A handjob, a handjob. And you're like, oh, no, I think I think it went on my hand. And then I brush my teeth. And then it might have when I slept went in my mouth. And then went through my in a homeroom and think, do you think I have chlamydia? And your best friend's like, I don't know. Like, what do you think? The amount of friends I talked off the ledge about their chlamydia, not knowing if they had it or not, but just wanted the amount of pregnancy tests. I think collectively my friends in high school took to all be negative because it's actually hard to get pregnant. I'm like, what is going on?

24:20And then the girls who did get pregnant when they were 16 back in our day, they got famous on MTV. And we carved a space for them. OK. Anyway, so I saw that and I was like, so annoyed by it. um also I've added something to my nighttime routine and which brings me to my next point there was this girl that made this tiktok about her sister and it was like she was praising her sister she was just like my sister's so cool like I've always like loved everything about my sister my friends love my sister she's just so perfect she's so nice she's so gorgeous and she was like And then I realized that she's so pretty and she's so like delicate, but she also does a ton of shit that I would never want to do or think about doing.

25:07And then she started talking about how like grooming and being ultra like you love your skincare routine. Like you want to do all these different you want to do a hair mask. All of this stuff is actually a hobby. like my sunday routine is one of my most favorite hobbies and why it's looked down upon when it's literally just hygiene are you have you noticed my lip at all no okay

25:41this is girlhood going on a rant about nothing and being like am i ugly have you been looking at my lip because i'm ugly i'm like no i'm trying to understand what you're saying in between coughs no page not to like make you like basically you've inspired me to take care of myself more because i didn't realize you could have so much joy yeah out of such little things and you know what we work on living such a big life all the time and it's crazy because in my 30s now i'm like i just want to enjoy the little things of life because that's what you really can control is is that face mask gonna hit when you put it on that's life i know i said a couple years ago that i didn't want to ever slow down but honey i am sorry

26:30page i'm off this weekend by the way like i haven't been off in forever do you know what i did well the the building made a new law that if you want to put your boxes away to recycling you have to cut them first you have to cut the boxes i don't know if it's my fault i don't know how to happened nothing worse than getting an email after you've done something and you're like so des told me that he bought a box cutter which i thought was aggressive and honestly like male toxic i own i was like we don't need a box cutter to box to cut boxes what are you talking about i own literally two box cutters how are you going through life without a box cutter you have like some toxic toxic masculinity to you but that's for another time how do you open an amazon package without a box cutter with a scissor because i'm a woman of the arts i'm not i'm not bringing out a weapon to open up but anyway i also own this is gone so des is gone in toronto this weekend shout out des working his little butt off so i'm here with all these amazon boxes and i noticed this box cutter and i said okay let's give it a try like i appreciate other cultures let's figure it out holy fuck that felt amazing no box cutters are amazing is i could not stop cutting boxes i cut every box in the house i layered them up i called des i go you're not gonna fucking believe it i love cutting boxes it's my new hobby it's my new passion if anyone needs a box cut send it to me i'm gonna get you a letter opener for your birthday the the joy of but page this is my problem i don't i don't like receiving mail i know like actual mail you will if you get to put a knife out if you get to pull a knife out you actually will receive like receiving mail i'm telling you no like it it's the most like asmr relaxing feeling cutting up boxes and then putting them in a layered way and then getting them out of your apartment so that's what i've been up to all week there's also nothing like spending a weekend like throwing shit away at your apartment it ah do you think we're losing listeners they're like okay hannah's cutting boxes that's how i tell you the next thing you have to buy i recently bought part of my nighttime routine a red light me and kitty lay on the bed every single night does she have a red light okay well paris hilton said that she red lighted her chihuahua and she literally lived to like 17 and so I was like kitty get your fucking ass over here we're red light therapy now I wear protective sunglasses but I can't find small ones for cats so I've just been putting regular sunglasses on kitty but I'm nervous that I'm not protecting her eyes well enough but I would assume she's closing them no I'm like can't be that stupid kitty pete is gonna be on the phone Yeah, no, they're definitely, yeah, they're just not happy about it.

29:31One other thing I could not wait to talk to you about. Did you see the Adam Sandler Chanel store thing? No. Okay, so apparently there's this, it's like a rumor slash like story that Adam Sandler's daughter went into a Chanel store in, I think, Los Angeles. And she was dressed like a normal like kid. I think she had like sweatpants on and like a hoodie. And she goes in and she's asking the saleswoman like, oh, can I see this bag? And the bag was like 20 grand or like$25 ,000. And the sales lady was like, this is for serious customers. Like, no, I'm not showing you this bag. Like it's$26 ,000. And so she calls her dad and she tells Adam Sandler like what happened.

30:23he comes into the store and he goes like up to his daughter puts his arm around her says to the saleswoman like so you judge people based on how they look and like what they're wearing i'll take every style that this bag is in every color in the whole store he walked out he spent like three hundred thousand dollars and bought all their bags but he just gave her like the best commission ever okay that's why i knew you're supposed to go to another store you'd go another store and you're supposed to say a huge mistake huge go to prada get all prada bags walk past chanel and be like suck my dick watch a julia roberts movie but what isn't that so what a story you have to say though i went shopping this weekend because you know i've been i i need get boxes to cut the chicken or the egg you know so i my daily wear and i think it's because i'm an athlete is what i've been telling myself now if i'm not performing i'm in i'm in practice clothes right like i'm wearing sweats i'm wearing a t-shirt and i'm wearing a zip-up hoodie i like it monochromatic it's all gray also no i'm not putting makeup on yes i haven't brushed my hair and then I'm walking through this like nice area of stores and I realized like I don't feel comfortable walking into these stores because they're looking at me like I just climbed out of the ground yeah the subway yeah um but I do have to um call a store out I went into the supreme store which is a very cool store and it's all these like boys I'm not gonna say men because it's all these like boys and they like one of them like has a skateboard like I don't know what's the vibe is kind of crazy and i'm like i'm a fucking new yorker like i've known about supreme since day one yeah everyone calm down but these boys are like they're all hanging and like talking really loudly the guys who work at the store okay oh okay so not customers no and it's this big big store and it has this huge opening in the middle and the clothes are just around the edges so like i love a t-shirt more than anyone so i see like a cool supreme t-shirt i'm obsessed i love supreme but it's like a large and i'm like maybe it'll be too baggy page look at mad whatever so i look at the guy who's very nice and i said can i try this on and he goes yeah and i go do you have a dressing room and he goes oh no you have to try on the shirts right here and i looked at him like what and he's like yeah just you could put it over your shirt i was like what kind of like no that's illegal humiliation ritual is going i'm like what in the no i'm pretty sure that's illegal no you can't do that so if it was a pant i'm allowed to use the dressing room but i can't did you ask that t-shirt well then i was like fuck it i'll just get the medium i'm adam sandler you're like you know what this is a horrible policy i'll take three this is sexist this is weird but the shirt is really cool but i'm gonna talk about it on my podcast and i don't like this at all but what the fuck like they had dressing rooms would not let me go so then i'm like okay do i have to pull a a a pant to go try it out were you by yourself yeah i was so scared it was me and just all these men and he's like yeah try on the shirt i'm like what what excuse me have some coof also you know my i'm sweating underneath my armpits that's where we are so different like what would you have done like okay i don't want to say that i'm a karen by any means because i'm not ever asking for like a manager or like but i'm definitely being like that's so fucking weird and there's no way that's real like yeah you would say that also i hate to say it and this could be totally false i feel like if you asked they would be like oh yes little princess go try it on in the back but like me i was like i was like what what shirt is this and he's like put it on and i was like i'm still a lady and i actually have gorgeous breasts under this outfit that you can't see but he was literally like but like sab you're making me cough you're making me we've all been in zara where you're like yeah i'll try this bomber jacket on over my outfit no one's trying a t-shirt here's the other thing here's the other thing like zara narizia it's all girls too so it's like all page i was so scared in that moment there was like 15 boys they're on their 20s standing there and the guy's like try the shirt on put it over your shirt i was like i felt i know i was like what fraternity am i in right now are you gonna make trying to make me make out with my friend also like what's going on he's like we have some punch in the back too if you want to taste it it's it's it's the frat master's recipe another girl walks in he's like do you guys know each other no but at first i was like this is so cool of me to be like the only girl here and taking up space in this male-dominated store and then he was like try it on in the middle if you're really cool and i was like i'm not and i'm scared i didn't want to show your tits if you want the shirt free if he shows your tits literally i do have to say that was so but then i went into kith afterwards because i was in my like cool girl era and they were so kind and they got me in the back and i could try on clothes without all these men staring at me hannah oh my god what a crazy shot I've never in my life, like even Aritzia, they're like, oh, the mirror's in the middle.

36:11Shut the fuck up. Like that, I think is the craziest thing ever. That's the reason I never got into Aritzia. I don't own a single thing from Aritzia because here's the other thing. Shopping in person, there is no shopping in person. It actually makes me so sad. And if I really sit down and think about it, I'll cry. Because touching stuff is important. Touching it, seeing how it actually hangs on your body. Okay, a perfect example is like I do so many segments for the Today Show. And like because it's news and like sometimes I won't know like until like four or five days before. And if I have to do like four outfits for a segment of like all different body types, all different ages, I have to order clothes.

36:55Yeah. I can't even – sometimes if something doesn't fit or like I don't have the right item, I can't even go and find it in stores. and I'm like this is New York City and they're like every time I walk into a store they're like we don't have it in the store you're gonna have to order it online and I'm like I was like what's in the store it's such a weird time it's such a weird shopping time I was just thinking about let's say I said yes to the guy I said okay and I put down my my purse which I don't like I hate that and then I take off my zip up and who knows if I'm wearing a bra you know me I probably didn't have a bra on and then i put the shirt over my head with all the men watching then these men are gonna tell me if it looks good or not that's no diabolical then if i don't then i have to take it off in front of everyone and it gets like stuck on my earring or something no hannah they're hazing to a new country i've never heard that in my life i got bullied at supreme and i will be wearing the t-shirts on just one of the and i will be supporting their company and i will continue to purchase from there also when i got to the the register the guy was i was like the guy was like how are you and i was like good how are you and he said chill and i was like i'll fucking blow my brains out i need to get out of here i need to get out of here he was like chill chill shut the shut up you shut the fuck up you grew up in connecticut shut up young men are scary girls are allowed to grow up in connecticut by the way girls are allowed to boys aren't that is one of the realest things you've ever said that's so true girls are from connecticut not boys boys are not that is boys from

38:47you grew up in connecticut no thank you the archetype of that that's why all the guys lie when they grow up in Connecticut. Have you heard of the concept forearm to calf ratio? No, Hannah. You know, I'm sick right now. I don't need this. I don't need it. Sorry, I was starting with a question. What happened to, hello, how are you? How are you? Like, I'm literally in a fragile state, and you're like, have you ever done algebra? it's because it was math it was triggering i'm really sorry well it's not real math but i was talking to one of my single friends shout out gabby bryan who was my only other blonde friend i talk about on the pod who has never met page but they dm so she's single she's single and we had a show in atlanta and she was like i found this guy on instagram i want to i've been chatting to so immediately i'm like send it to me because one thing i will do is live vicariously through my single friends i want every detail i'm i'm part of it yeah so i see the guy and he's standing in front of like some cabinets and i just said oh can you double check that cabinet video i don't like where his head was compared to the cabinets it's giving like five five nine five ten and gabby's tall gabby's like five ten um and you don't want to kiss like looking down so i was just looking out for her and she was like eyes i'm like so i feel like i'm in an eye exam i feel like you are my eye doctor i'm like i actually can't do that if we hug and your head goes in my neck i'm out i'm out i'm out if you're curled up in my bosom what are you a squirrel don't snuggle up into my neck you freak no i want my hand to be a little high when i'm trying to hold your hand anyway i digress i can't hold hands with anyone it's actually so that's it's so crazy there's posing cons to your gift the guy's like why you have a claw um that claw so stop laughing you're gonna stop stop it stop so gabby was like don't worry i did the forearm to calf ratio i said i've never heard of this so she basically was like if he has short calves it means he's short and i was like that's not true because i have short calves and i'm 5 '7 because i'm all torso and she's like yeah that's why you also double check that they have long forearms and i was like i've never thought of this before but i don't know if it's true wait a minute i thought this was somehow going to relate to their dick and i'm really pissed that it doesn't like no but like also i feel like i don't have particularly long forearms i'm just torso and i'm tall i think girls are just trying to like understand do you know that your foot is the size of your forearm my forearm's longer than my foot it's not true okay well you're an alien and a freak that who told you who told you that i don't know wait there's one other cuckoo wacko thing i bought on tiktok well actually no i didn't buy it on tiktok because the millennial in me makes me go over to amazon and i buy it i think i can't do purchases on tiktok that's insane tuning forks oh we lost her you guys we lost her she's far far too gone page page i took an oregano supplement earlier too and i think it's literally did i tell you i've been taking oregano supplements shut the fuck up page de sorbo shut the fuck up you witch you little witch no because i've been on tour with ali colbert and she gets sick because she's weak gets me sick yeah now i'm weak now we're both weak and i tell her that it's mental and then i get it she goes have you taken an oregano shot and i was like fuck yeah let's do it and she goes it's really really painful yeah it tastes really bad and i'm like i'm not a pussy i've taken tequila shots i could take an oregano shot you know the way i almost died in that no oregano is like no fucking joke well who who told you to take it so my my holistic guy part of my part of my uti regimen that we're like testing out to see is he has me on like an oregano supplement and then like another cranberry supplement and i'm like seeing if that like builds up my uterine line i don't fucking know how often do you take oregano to the face so i take one a day but they are so potent so i you so you do have to like ask a professional because i think you can't really up your stomach if you take too much of it yeah i was scared also you have to take it with like some juice you have to also do juice oregano juice oh and eat there's all these rules who knew but yeah i was i've been into oregano do you think because we're italian it like it feels good our body likes it yeah your body's like back to our people they say it like helps clear out like bacteria and like but this is the thing page you're sitting here you're telling me all your holistic strategies and they're not working better you go i've never felt worse i'm on my deathbed but i swear oregano shots are incredible i've never felt worse but truly i this is the first time i think i've ever realized that like men are so weak like i knew but i i needed like a really like a certain type of reminder around sickness like true flu symptoms and it's so interesting to listen to them speak about it because I'm like you're weak I think about the men who are listening to this pod accidentally it's in the background and they'll finally get into a part that like we're in a funny flow the men are probably laughing and then just when they think they're safe we can always we always get it back to the men somehow um so just keep one eye open there's a man somewhere in a car being like their whole personality is just hating on men so really they're obsessed with us well the men will catch strays they will catch trays strays trays and they catch trays too um amanda rodriguez sent us a giggler dm'd me a really good mental health moment that i think it's time for okay before you black out yeah before i take sudafed to the face she goes i saw a post about what is the most unhinged way that you practice micro feminism in your life and when the comments was anytime i'm being mean to myself i remind myself that i'm being mean to a woman and then i stop it's a great mental health moment wait that is so sweet no like whenever you're being mean to yourself you're like we support women we support woman in the arts are you not a woman in the art let's move on do you know i got an iv last weekend did you what for what i got an iv because i was like really sick and dying with ali yeah and ali's just like you where we get to the iv person and they're telling us all these add-ons and i'm like i'm not doing drugs give me the basics i don't want lsd i don't want to be like ring it up literally so ali's sitting there she's like yeah whatever and the lady's like it was after our show so it was like 10 p.m and now she tells ali like do you want some benadryl and it'll just like put you to sleep and ali was like yeah i'll take some benadryl and they asked me and i was like no i don't need to be black sorry i don't do methamphetamine um i'm like i can't handle melatonin i'm not taking benadryl to the lung okay so ali's like yeah i'll take some fucking benadryl five minutes in she's looking at me and she's like i'm gonna pass out i'm gonna she's like henna well i start laughing and go last time i did this with page page almost thought she was dying i was fainting because she got some extra shit and alice put something in the bag she's trying to kill us page page goes this would be the perfect way to murder this is the perfect murder i'm like the nurse is still in the room the nurse is standing right here she can hear you and Allie is looking at me she goes can you tell I'm high can you tell I'm high she's like I just want you know I'm not freaking out but I'm freaking out right now I'm getting high and I'm like I'm trying to have a nice night and my friends always have to get fucked up up some IV and Allie's like no and she looks at the lady and she's like am I supposed to be feeling this fucking high from the Benadryl she's like can you the lady starts panicking and like looking at the vials to see if she put the right thing on but she was like yeah just it comes harder because it's right into the bloodstream and like all tiny put her in your pocket you didn't have an excuse but

47:59you're a wingspan babe you can handle

48:06your big ass feet that's the size of your forearm you can handle it do you want to know how humbled i was i asked ali for a belt she's like yeah i have brown i black i said amazing couldn't get it around my waist i said ali you were like sorry a belt for an adult i don't know but she's small but i never consider her like like that tiny but couldn't get around it was the most i said thank you but that is so you you're like hold on The math actually is, this is the matrix because if my waist and your waist, there is something, this isn't making sense. I looked at her and I said, is this? I said, does this fit you?

48:55And she's like, yeah, that's my mouth. And I said, that's crazy because we look the same. You asking her if her belt fit her is so you. I thought belts had ranged though. Like, why do you have so many holes in it? But it was like the end of the holes. for that size she's like an extra small small now guys i'm all about body positivity i've never felt fucking grosser in that moment and i wasn't even bloated don't she's also ali is also so tiny she's way shorter than you i know you i know i mean you just called me fat but i'll make you feel better no we're good i'm dying this might be the last time you fucking see me

49:41oh god anything else um i saw an instagram video of derek jeter the other day so that brightened my day um and that's about it love of my life and i do have to just say one thing though about men every man that everyone's like and he's the good one he's not like i even i recently saw like a list of people being like be like these non-problematic male comedians they this and i was like nope nope nope nope and nope so anyway remember all men are not good so derek jeter i don't know what you've done but we still love you but i just want to normalize we're not like putting him on a pedestal i just saw one clip quick video of him i feel like i never see him on social media we had a complicated breakup we had a complicated but you don't follow him no i do but i feel like i never see his stuff never pops up it's always like him being a dad yeah it was him being a dad and i was like oh my god i feel like i never i've never seen this in this context and then i did have a thought about tom brady but honestly i digress i digress you don't want to get in i don't i'm too sick to get a positive thought

50:55i can't get into it i'm too sick i just thought like wow

51:02i'm too sick for this i just thought like wow dare cheater is the blueprint of feel like of like how an athlete should behave he apparently gave gift baskets to women he'd hook up with they'd leave with a signed ball i then started to think about um like the colton of it all oh no she goes you know why i'm saying colton underwood and his fucking you've opened up a can of worms if you really want me to say what i was thinking i'm gonna give it to you here's what i was thinking i was thinking wow colton underwood can get another really big job like on a hit tv show then i was thinking wow actually athletes can do like a lot of fucked up shit and then like continue to play and they just get two games suspension and i was like you two games suspension you could literally beat your girl it's a vacation beat your girlfriend up in an elevator in a hallway in her own home it doesn't matter you can be suspended for two games if you smoke weed though you could be suspended for like four and this is a sports podcast oh she's bringing out her special wipey ew she's okay i had to spit turn off the youtube turn turn it off blur that grace that was at least warned the viewers that was crazy that was crazy well you wanted me to go on a rant and this is what happens i'm glad that it's flowing though we don't want it to get snow i think i took a shower and i like seemed this is what i wanted i i wash odd i like did all this stuff for me no you look so sick but so glowy at the same time thank you doll i don't feel glowy but thank you no you do you do um i have 100 pages left in my book oh my gosh how long does that can take you well we don't know it's funny books i feel like they either like fly by or you're like it's been three years like one paragraph i have to go i can't i can't even laugh anymore paragraph continue you guys we have to go we love you so much thank you for giggling um and we'll talk to you later you